As the Russian war separates loved ones at Ukrainian borders, it’s also shredding family dreams for Ukraine’s orphans. For hopeful parents, the Eastern European crisis has thrown adoptive ambitions into limbo.
Jennifer and Matthew Ruff planned on officially welcoming a boy from Ukraine into their family by mid-March or April. While the Maryland couple has no legal rights over the teenager, he’s already become a beloved child. They’ve previously hosted the boy in Maryland and speak with him every day.
"We were supposed to go to court in about a month and then hopefully have the chance to bring him home within another 30 days. But because everything has been shut down, all of the adoptions and proceedings have been halted," said Jennifer Ruff, the adoptive mom.
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Together, the couple has grappled over how to comfort and protect a child in crisis from afar.
"He’s scared. The kids are really terrified. They don’t have parents with them," Ruff added "It’s the worst feeling as soon-to-be parents to feel so helpless. To feel like you have no ability to rescue your child, it’s the worst feeling."
It’s a similar heartbreak for hundreds of families in the same situation. Host Orphans Worldwide is a non-profit partnered with more than a dozen orphanages in Ukraine. The organization pairs children with families across the U.S. The process allows kids the experience of spending the summer or winter living in a loving family. Eighty percent of families eventually adopt these children permanently.
That’s the case for one couple in Maine. Tracy Blake-Bell and Nat Bell hosted two Ukrainian boys in 2020 and 2021. They planned to finalize adoption paperwork by next month.
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"It’s a slow process, and I respect the fact that we’re trying to limit human trafficking. I mean that’s really what we’re trying to do. But some of the process is really slow and I wish that it could be more logical and expedited," said adoptive mom Tracy Blake-Bell.
The Bells have two biological sons. The couple hoped this spring their family of four would legally expand into a family of six. The timeline they had in mind just last week now seems unimaginable. Jill said she's spoken to the boys daily about their fear and increasing food scarcity at the orphanage.
"My youngest asked today why no one is helping them, and I don’t know what to say," Blake-Bell added. "I don’t know if adoption is even on the table anymore. But get them somewhere safe so they’re not in immediate danger, and then we can triage from there."
Adoptive parents living this nightmare say they’re calling every politician possible, urging them to lead the rescue effort.
"Can our elected officials support us and help us? Can they make this happen and be creative?" Ruff asked.
"We need lobbying officials to do so. I was speaking with our local congressman yesterday about just that. Hopefully we can get the kids out of there, and then we need help with expediting paperwork," added Jill Krenzer, a volunteer and public relations spokesperson for Host Orphans Worldwide.
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Despite the escalating chaos and uncertainty, hopeful parents say the outpouring of support has carried them through the most powerless of moments.
"There’s a lot of prayer, a lot of faith and hope, and we have an amazing community rallying around us, and just working, and talking with other families that are in the same situation as us. There’s a lot of comfort knowing that you’re not alone," Ruff said.