'The Five' on Disney controversy, COVID boosters

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Piers Morgan goes off on Disney caving to woke mob

'The Five' panel weighs in on Disney's protest over the new Florida law.

This is a rush transcript of "The Five" on March 30, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Judge Jeanine Pirro, Piers Morgan, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.

It's five o'clock in New York City, and this is THE FIVE.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: All right.

WATTERS: Yet another big American company going woke. Disney caving to the liberal mob and pledging to help repeal the new parental rights bill that just signed into law by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. Which Democrats and the media have completely lied about and called them bigoted? The bill bans instruction of sexual orientation or gender identity in the kindergarten through third grade. DeSantis firing back at Disney while calling out some of the obvious double standards.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. RON DESANTIS (R-FL): For a company like Disney to say that the bill should have never passed, first of all, Tucker, they weren't saying anything when this is going through the House. They only started doing this because the mob, the woke mob came after them.

But put that aside, for them to say that them as a California-based company are going to work to take those California values and overturned a law that was duly enacted, and as you said, supported by a strong majority of Floridians, they don't run the state.

We have done a bill that prohibited talking about the abuse of Uyghurs in China, Disney would support that legislation.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: And the new controversy for Disney as we get leaked videos of top executives at the company discussing a plan to go woke at its theme party. Listen.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNKNOWN: Last summer we removed all of the gender greetings in relationship to our life skills. Now they know it's hello, everyone, or hello friends. When we brought the fireworks back to the magic kingdom, we no longer say ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, we say dreamers of all ages.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Gender neutral Disney, Greg.

PIERS MORGAN, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: By the way, sorry, but when you can't even say ladies and gentlemen anymore or boys and girls. What in the world is happening in the world? Sorry?

WATTERS: Would you like to go ahead. I was going to ask Greg.

MORGAN: Sometimes it's just like, it's so nuts.

WATTERS: Piers, with your, you know, very, very rude habits.

MORGAN: Apologies.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: It's supposed to be Greg.

GUTFELD: I think I just had a stroke.

MORGAN: You deserve a pretty outburst of rage.

WATTERS: My goodness. My heart --

(CROSSTALK)

MORGAN: Honestly, it is so pathetic, isn't it? You can't go to a theme park and you can't hear the word ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. I mean, what is going on? Greg, I interrupt you.

WATTERS: What is -- what is going on, Piers?

MORGAN: I'll tell you what's going on.

WATTERS: What is going on? It's like --

(CROSSTALK)

MORGAN: Let me tell you my best (Inaudible) accent. Do you mind if I just --

GUTFELD: yes, go.

MORGAN: Why I think it's nuts. What you've got and I discussed this last night in your show. You've got the small group of very vocal, very woke people, very active online and they bully companies into following their narrow worldview.

And I admire the company like Netflix and the Dave Chappelle rule. I admire Spotify when they stood by Joe Rogan appear. That is the way to deal with the mob. Because the mob very quickly gets bored and moves on. And guess what. Dave Chappelle is still on Netflix. Joe Rogan is still on Spotify. That's the right way to respond.

Disney began this with their new CEO saying we're going to be political. Great. Great. Because by the way, if you're going to be political as DeSantis rightly pointed out, then let's see what you've got to say about the genocide of the Uyghurs Muslims in China.

WATTERS: Right.

MORGAN: Which we'll never hear from Disney because they make too much money from the Chinese box office market. So, if you are going to be political, be consistent morally and in terms of apparent outrage. But of course, they don't want to do that. They want to be bullied by this woke mob into doing something they didn't instinctively want to do. And now, they are being sucked in oddly into this woke trap.

WATTERS: And it look --

MORGAN: And he apologized by the way it never stops.

WATTERS: It doesn't stop.

MORGAN: The moment you apologize, they keep coming.

WATTERS: And it looks like this woke mob, Judge, probably came from Disney itself. You had a lot of really loud employees probably in their 30s and 20s just screaming at executives, don't say gay, don't say gay and then they reacted and overreacted.

JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS HOST: OK. Two things. The bill doesn't say don't say gay.

WATTERS: Right.

PIRRO: That's number one. The second point is, since when do California values, since when did be instilled in Florida. And the third point is good for Ron DeSantis for saying, you know what, stay in your own lane. I'm the governor of the state and don't tell me what to do. And I have to tell you. If Disney is so woke. I was talking to some of the producers this morning and they were --

WATTERS: You talk to them?

PIRRO: Yes, I do. I think they're wonderful, they are so smart. Anyway, they were talking and they have young children, they said there is a movie that Disney did call "Turning Red. And the teacher is so mean to each other, and that they call each other losers.

And one producer in particular said, you know, they should explain why the teachers to be mean and call each other names like losers while they're trying to make like they are peacemakers on earth. They're including everyone when they're really not. And so, I just think Disney ought to stand their own length.

WATTERS: Should we get to Greg now?

GUTFELD: Yes. I don't they've gone far enough. I think Tinker Bell should be a dude. A big scrapping dude. But you know, here --

WATTERS: Tinker bro.

GUTFELD: To Piers' point, wokeism has this enormous super power which it can take stuff that you love, you really love --

PIRRO: Yes.

GUTFELD: -- and it can turn it to poison, whether it's pro-athletes that you admired, TV shows that you watch or musicians --

WATTERS: The land of lakes butter.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: I missed that woman on them.

GUTFELD: Everything -- but the interesting thing about it is there's no -- they offer no replacement for what they intend to destroy. So, they go there, they go, OK, this has to be this way because you're an oppressor. This is evil and corrupt. But then you go, what do you do? And they go, we don't have any creative skills. We don't actually have any talent. Our only talent is to condemn you. And then we move on.

But bill, like you said, does not say, it never says do not say gay. But the thing is, the media knew that, the Dems know that but they colluded to manufacture the story just the way they buried that laptop story. They created and manufactured this story because they are terrified of DeSantis becoming a candidate because they know he is going to crush the Democrats.

There is another thing too about, it kind of bugs me that they keep calling this bill controversial. And it's controversial because it was misrepresented. But also, when you look at it, it's like don't teach gender and sexuality to kids third grade and under. How was that unreasonable?

If you -- I got -- if you, by counter views, if you really want to talk to a 5-year-old or a 7-year-old or an 8-year-old about their sexuality and gender, that's on you. You're a pervert. You're a weirdo. I don't give a damn if you are a teacher or a sex ed. There's something weird if you want to share your sexuality. Like, I want to tell Little Billy that I am a pan sexual woodland nymph. You know?

You know what? You do that you go see your shrink. That's for your shrink. You leave the kids out of it. That's -- the idea that we are like forfeiting -- we are forfeiting this high ground because we are -- we're scared of being called, I don't know, homophobic?

WATTERS: Be sensitive.

GUTFELD: B.S., man.

WATTERS: When Greg brought up teaching people of that age about sex and things like that, in Florida they don't have sex education until sixth grade. So why would the liberals insist that you would teach a kindergartner first, second and third grader about transgenders when you don't even get to that stuff anyway until sixth?

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: Not only that's the political part of it. So, Marc Caputo reported on this poll that Florida Democrats, primary voters there, they agree --

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: -- what the Republican stance on this.

WATTERS: But it's controversial.

PERINO: Yes, it's controversial. And they keep -- the left keeps walking in the Democratic Party into this cul-de-sac, well now they don't know how to get out of it, right? So, you'll see this in lots of different things. Where the Democrats, they're like, will these corporations bail us out.

We have another example right there in Georgia. Remember when the MLB --

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: -- pulled the game and they put in Denver. And they hadn't read the bill and it was unfair. And it turns out that Coca-Cola should have never done that. And even Stacey Abrams was like, actually, no, we didn't - - we didn't mean that but they keep stepping on a rake and hitting themselves in the face.

Work (Ph) attention and employee satisfaction is super important. Right now, we have four million people resign their jobs in February and more to other jobs. There's a 3.7 percent unemployment rate. That means that employers are in this position of how do we keep people happy?

Well, they -- at Disney they decided to basically say OK, the small loud group, we are going to go with them. There's a small group of conservatives that work at Disney as well and they came out a couple of weeks ago that said --

(CROSSTALK)

MORGAN: That's what I think. What about all the conservative Disney employees?

PERINO: -- what about us? Yes.

MORGAN: Where are their rights to have their opinions?

PERINO: And the other thing I just want to point out. I thought that Rick Grenell makes a really good point so he works for President -- in the Trump administration and the Bush administration. He said that, he just pointed out that Disney Studios said nothing when Trump had the push to deal with the 60 countries around the world that have being gay as illegal.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: Where you can be put to death and Disney sells in all of those countries and they never said a word. The woke employees didn't care about that. But they take this bill, misrepresent it and then it leads to these consequences.

WATTERS: Yes. Is Disney World going to be gender neutral in China? I highly doubt that. I highly doubt it.

Coming up next, AOC threatening Biden to do exactly what she wants or face the consequences this November.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PIRRO: AOC warning Democrats they are in huge trouble in November if the party doesn't move further to the radical left. Quote, "if the president does pursue and start to govern decisively using executive action and other tools at his disposal, I think we are in the game. But if we decide to just kind of sit back for the rest of the year and not change people's lives, yes, I do think we are in trouble. So I don't think that it's set in stone, I think that we can determine our destiny here."

And the media thinks Democrats have a serious problem when it comes to messaging.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

YAMICHE ALCINDOR, CORRESPONDENT, NBC NEWS: What this poll essentially tells the president and the Democrats is that they have to be messaging better, that they have to be talking about the things that American are listening as their priority. Thirty-eight percent of Americans are blaming Biden's policies for inflation and gas prices and only 6 percent are blaming Russia. Remember that President Biden wanted to call this Putin's price hike.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PIRRO: All right, Dana, 30 percent of Americans are blaming Biden and 36 percent blaming Russia.

PERINO: Yes.

PIRRO: Is it a messaging problem?

PERINO: Yes, the hash tag doesn't work. I mean, you got to really come up with something else. Well, I, for one completely agree with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. And I think all the Republicans out there would gladly contribute to her hotel and airfare to have her travel all around the country and say these very same things.

I do think President Biden set himself up for this. Right? So, he catered to the left, he wanted their attention for a long time. Remember he wanted that build back better bill and he told them that they -- he would -- they would get it. And they played along for a while, and now they are mad.

And I would like to touch with this on my face. From the time Biden's American Rescue Plan passed to today inflation has consistently run ahead of wages delivering a substantial pay cut to all Americans. And everyone knows it. And it doesn't matter what kind of hash tag you put on it. This is what they are going to deal and this is why they had such bad numbers. But I absolutely agree with AOC.

PIRRO: OK. All right, Jesse, they are talking about an enthusiasm gap on the part of young people and on the part of the Democrats. We know that young people generally vote in a presidential year. So, they can't count on them this year. What enthusiasm can they gin-up for this election?

WATTERS: Well, there is no bogeyman, there is no Trump and there is no policy accomplishment to get behind. So, I don't know. You have to ask them. I mean, let me just put my mind, I'm a 29-year-old radical. OK? I'm bisexual. I wear an N95 mask in the shower. All my friends moved to Boston, Texas so I'm lonely and inflation is killing me, and I don't know. I'm probably hurting pretty bad. And financially I'm -- we're soft than I am, you know, before the election. So, they really don't have anything to run on.

Do you remember, Judge, when you were in middle school you did the trust falls at those little retreats?

PIRRO: Well, I went to Catholic school.

WATTERS: Or it's just me?

GUTFELD: It's just you.

WATTERS: Remember, so you line up, I do trust fall, you line up and you fall and someone has to catch you. And it's supposed to establish trust. That's what the left did with Biden and Biden dropped them. He didn't deliver anything that they wanted. And now they are scrambling and figure out, wait, I didn't get student loans, I didn't get green new deal. What did we get? We even didn't get election reform.

So, AOC is upset so she is threatening the president. But she is also upset because this will be the first time AOC is not in power in Washington. She got swept in after 2018, she's been in the majority all these years.

PIRRO: Yes.

WATTERS: She's not going to have subpoena power. She's got no juice so she's looking at a little bit of a lonely time.

PIRRO: Very good point. All right. What do you think about what happens if the Democrats lose the House? What should the Republicans plan to do?

GUTFELD: Well, here's the thing. I'm going to be a wet snaggy and say that the party out of power always gets seats, right? They always make significant gains. So, if you get 20 seats and one Senate seat, don't pat yourself on the back. You lost. Because this is a tremendous opportunity right now. You the wokest and the most progressive people spouting off.

If you are just normal, Republicans, if you're normal, you've got to get at least 40 seats and win back the Senate or you're going to blow. In my opinion, the best chance you ever had. Because chances like this only come like once --

PIRRO: Yes.

GUTFELD: -- every 10,000 years. According to science. So just be normal. Do not do stupid things. Don't fall into their traps. Right? They are going to try to get you into culture wars and things like that and try to drag you into like race-based controversies. Just be above it, you know, take the fight but if the Republicans don't get 45 seats, I'll be very disappointed.

PIRRO: All right, Piers, what does it look like from where you live in terms of what is happening in the United States? What do the Brits think?

MORGAN: Well, I just think if you were thinking of how things could possibly get close for Joe Biden it would be to embrace AOC with that annoying squeaky voice which makes me want to feel like I want to grate my head against a cheese grater.

PIRRO: I find it appealing.

(CROSSTALK)

MORGAN: I want to improve my looks.

PIRRO: A peeling, very good of, peeling.

MORGAN: Of peeling. But look, I think she is uniquely irritating and of course she represents this ultraleft, ultra-woke mentality, you know it can only get worse if you pile Megan Markle in with them. And the (Inaudible) came at Biden and said, you know, you are going to do it our way.

He quite rightfully sees the danger here. And when it comes to the midterms, I think he is heading for a massive shellacking as things stands. But it's really down to the economy. And it can only get worse for him if he embraces anything that AOC is currently preaching. Because that is the very mentality which is, I think, the minority in America and the vast majority of people find it intensely irritating.

So, if I was Biden I would completely ignore her and I would try to get a message which people actually listen to about the economy and how you are going to fix it. Because most people that I'm talking as I walk around New York in the last week, the fact they are talking about. They're talking about the economy. They're talking about prices at the pump. They're talking about food prices.

And you add in the Ukraine war and the impact they -- that may have on global food prices. This is a real ongoing economic crisis. And at the moment the guy in charge of this keeps trying to blame Vladimir Putin but as the poll show the American people blame Joe Biden. He's got to change that message, somehow before November.

PIRRO: He's got a lot of work to do. Up next, more deception from the Russian. Why their latest vow to pull back their military in Ukraine is bogus.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MORGAN: President Biden speaking with Ukrainian President Zelenskyy after some major deception from Putin. Biden announcing $500 million in aid to Ukraine as Russian forces continue to pound areas where they vowed to scale back military operations.

And U.S. officials believe that Vladimir Putin is misinformed by faithful advisors about how badly the Russian military is performing and how the Russian economy is being crippled by sanctions.

So, Judge, I got to say, I watch all this every day now with people saying he's losing, he doesn't know what's happening. He lost his mind. I don't really buy any of it. I think Putin is extremely smart ruthless dictator who knows what he is doing. I think his real ambitious may actually be eastern Ukraine with all its vast energy resources there. And I think he realizes that would give him a big burst of new energy power. And I think it's going pretty much I suspect how he calculates it.

PIRRO: So, if you want to attribute to him a great deal of intelligence and knowledge and more than what, apparently American intelligence is attributing to him, then what you say makes perfect sense. You know, you try to look you go into Kyiv and then you'll back down although he's not really backing down just to say the Donbas, you know, that area where apparently there are 900,000 people with Russian passports.

So, you know, that could make sense, but I also think that for many years we have kind of blown him up to be this incredible threat. He is not such a threat. I mean, to the extent that he has a nuclear weapon, of course he is a threat.

But I think, you know, he is just a small dictator and now what he's got to do in addition to being embarrassed on the world stage and not being able to take even the Donbas and that area in the first couple of days and having tanks rolling around in the mud and all of that is, he's now having Russia being hit by Ukraine in a defensive mode. They are now sending missiles into Russia.

So now, it's a new game. And he's got to figure out what he's going to do and is he going to back off and say, you know, just stop, you know, pummeling Russia because that's a new onion, a new layer of the onion that's out there.

MORGAN: You know, I mean, Greg, I expressed yesterday my sense of moral outrage that we're not doing more. I think a lot of Americans they don't show what they should be doing as a country. Every instinct when you see the atrocities is, we should be doing more to help. But everyone is terrified.

And I watched General Jack Keane earlier saying that one of the problems here is the fear factor is entrenched now about Putin. He's been able to use the nukes as this sort of protective shield barrier. How do you get around that?

GUTFELD: I don't know, I don't know if it's just that. I think, that, you know, I can speak for myself and I sit firmly, sit, not stand, that as long as I'm in company studio in New York City out of harm's way, I'm going to be anti-war until there is no other possibilities.

I pray for a quick ending, that's what I said the first day this happened. I -- it's like the lockdowns. You know, war is easy, rah, rah, rah, when you can still go home in a black Sedan and have your dinner and a comfortable with a decent bank account.

So as long as I'm not in danger I'm not going to be pushing for anything aggressive and I think that that's, maybe where a lot of Americans are, specifically because we've been through two wars, right? I mean, this was not -- this has not been a fun time, you know, with Afghanistan and with Iraq.

So, I could see that people have to burn their hand on the stove and maybe they want to think about what Trump was talking about which was America first. Let's worry about what's -- what's going on here.

And also, I mean, I agree with you completely when you're talking about, how do you -- how do you figure this out? Because on any given day you're told that Russians winning and Ukrainians are winning. Is it possible that they are both winning at the same time? It makes -- you know that this isn't just a battle over land, it's a battle over your mind. And you've got to be able to question the media orthodoxy without getting crushed. And I think that's super important that it's like, you know, it's like, where's your moral outrage? Well, my moral outrage, it's here, but it's, but it's for the Ukrainian people. I don't want more Ukrainian people to die.

MORGAN: Yes. One of the problems Jesse, it seems to me, is it's very true that the American people will be weary. But you know, you look at something like the Iraq War, which I felt was waged on completely the wrong pretext and had catastrophic repercussions from there. And that's one of the contributing factors to the weariness. Here, it seems to me is a much clearer, moral imperative situation, a bit like when Saddam Hussein first invaded Kuwait. Is that you have someone invading a sovereign country? And is there not a Western moral compulsion to kick him out? And it seems to me at the moment, that is not what the administration is prepared to do?

WATTERS: No, we're not putting a no-fly zone up, and we're not putting American boots on the ground. And the American people agree with that. Yet, the American people think Biden could have done a little bit more before the invasion, and then after the invasion, and that's what we're frustrated with. To your question about whether Putin was planning all this? I don't think so. Because if you're going to go and try to decapitate the capital immediately with that kind of daring move into the airport at first, which got pushed back and then like waste all those resources in the north through Belarus, that seems like a massive waste of men and money.

MORGAN: But if you go back, if you go back to Grozny and Chechnya. You remember that early, early on, the Chechens, were getting some wins against Putin.

WATTERS: Right.

MORGAN: And then, actually, he then wrapped things up and just destroyed Grozny.

WATTERS: Right, but that's Grozny --

MORGAN: And there is a fear, there is a fear that this playbook is happening again.

WATTERS: I agree that that is a fear. But the people in Grozny weren't supplied with javelins, and stingers, and Turkish-made drones. I mean, we are really destroying a lot of these tank columns and aircraft with this really advanced weaponry. What looks like is happening, he's trying to now say, all right, I'm going to kill as many civilians in the east and try to build this land bridge through Crimea in these eastern provinces, and just try to murder as many Ukrainian civilians as possible and bring Zelenskyy to a negotiating table. Maybe he doesn't take the whole country, maybe he just does the land grab and then signs a treaty. And then, in three or four more years, he goes in again.

MORGAN: Well, that's my point.

WATTERS: He's just playing a long game.

MORGAN: Right. And he's got infinite patience, Putin. We know this from his track record. We know he invaded Georgia, Crimea, Ukraine, he's not going to stop. And so, again, I asked that question I posed yesterday, what is the moral red line, where we finally stand up to Putin, where we finally as, as General Keane, I heard him earlier, he could sense of frustration that every instinct in his military bones is to take this guy on before he continues to murder innocent people?

PERINO: Well, a couple things. One, I don't believe that this is what Putin thought was going to happen. It's clear he's been misinformed by his advisors, and by his oligarchs who were stealing money out of the military. So, now, Putin is a laughingstock on the world stage as a military strategist, it is pitiful, and what the moms of Russia are realizing that their sons were sent to die with no strategy, and with fake Chinese tires that are trying to pull these tanks across on roads that they can't get through with no food, and that that message is going to get back and around.

So, he is hurt also by the fact that China has not come to their aid like he thought that they would, and he has to go -- Russia used to supply China with military aid. Now, Putin has to go crawling to Russia? I would press that advantage like, well, you are a pitiful, pitiful leader, you are -- like, there are some psychological things that you could do that don't put any boots on the ground. And we have people in inside the Kremlin that are obviously telling us things.

As for the red line, I think that what Americans have to think about is what is in your national interest. Is your national interest threatened? And to what extent is your national interest threatened? So, what sort of response does that require? And that is not been clear from Joe Biden. That's why people are frustrated by what is the mission? What are we trying to do? Are we trying to help Ukraine win or lose slowly? Are we trying to destroy Putin? What are we trying to do? And what is in our national interest? And that's where you can get people to come behind you and really rally but he has not been able to do that.

WATTERS: All he said is we are trying to avoid World War III.

MORGAN: Yes.

WATTERS: The only thing he said.

PIRRO: And NATO is united.

WATTERS: Yes. Very united. You had to write that one down.

MORGAN: Constantly saying what you want to avoid is he sounds weak.

PIRRO: Yes.

WATTERS: Right.

MORGAN: It sounds like we don't want to go there. And that is a weak position for the United States of America, who are the biggest superpower in the history of planet Earth. Anyway, good debate, President Biden back in his Comfort Zone warning Americans about COVID. What did he just rolled out? Next on THE FIVE.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Americans are done with a pandemic but someone forgot to tell Joe Biden, the president getting his second booster shot on camera while his administration launches a one stop shop COVID Web site more than two years after the pandemic started.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We're now in a new moment in this pandemic, does not mean the COVID-19 is over. It means that COVID-19 no longer controls our lives. That's what it means. Cases are ticking up as we thought they might. But now, thanks to the foundation we've laid America as the tools to protect people, all people. The bottom line, no longer all Americans have to scour the internet to find vaccines, treatments, test or masks.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Scouring, scouring the Internet for masks. I just pick them up off the street. Do they know cigarette butts? Jesse, is this just a way to keep everybody from actually talking about how bad his administration is going?

WATTERS: Yes, because when I saw those guns on the president, I just forgot about inflation. Can we get a website for inflation or gas prices that could tell us where the gas was cheaper? We don't need a Web site, Joe. The whole thing's over, and he's going to have to walk another thing back because cases aren't going up, cases are going down. What is he talking about? And the one thing we were actually scouring the Internet for? Were tests. And he had a year to put out a test and he couldn't do it. And now that it's over, who cares?

PERINO: Oh, no, now it's over, every other day in your mailbox, you get another test.

GUTFELD: I know. I was wondering who's sending me that?

PERINO: It's the government.

PIRRO: I wanted to know --

PERINO: It's the government.

PIRRO: I got them, three of them in the mail. I'm like, who was sending me? Am I supposed to do it? But then, who do I sent it back to? Plus, yesterday, we said definitively on THE FIVE that the numbers are going down in the United States. Doesn't he watch this show?

GUTFELD: He should. Well, doesn't remember watching it. Cheap shot on my part, you know, it appears it's, it's kind of a thing like with government, anything that they start is easy, but it's impossible to finish. They just can't walk away with, from something.

MORGAN: Well, I was laughing about two things. One, that he finally announces, he's got everything ready. Now, it's pretty much over. It's like, yes, that's not that helpful. That a Web site that gives you all the answers to something that we've all moved on from. The second, of course, we now know, from all the facts that have evolved that really COVID affects people over 80 more than any other category of people, certainly late 70s and 80s and above. And when he was sort of slowly moving around having his jab very easily, it just reminded people how old he is.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MORGAN: And I'm not sure it's a good look for Joe Biden. You know, right now, you want to have this, you know, you look at someone like DeSantis in Florida, he's dynamic. He's young. He's forceful. And then you cut to the president saying, you know, we got to have our second booster. He's right, people over at need to have a second booster. If you don't have them, you see what happens in Hong Kong? Carnage over there. But where there's not enough people of that age group who've been vaccinated. But of course, it does send the signal to the American people that their president is a very old man.

WATTERS: Got to get a tan first, do some curls before you show the entire world you are.

GUTFELD: Exactly, that's from the Jesse Watters tips on --

WATTERS: Dana would've advised any president to do the exact same thing.

GUTFELD: But you know what? We know that age is a problem, but we still don't talk about obesity. Why is that? Isn't that strange?

PERINO: What?

GUTFELD: No, it's obesity and age. Those are the two bane markers but we don't talk about it.

PIRRO: Oh, comorbidity.

GUTFELD: Yes, comorbidities. Anyway, we'll stop there.

WATTERS: We won't talk about it.

GUTFELD: We won't talk. We'll table that for another day. Here's he's going to show us uncultured Americans how to make a proper cup of British tea.

MORGAN: The proper science.

GUTFELD: Yes, up next with "THE FASTEST."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Not sure what's going on outside but it's quite bright out there, apparently. All right welcome back time for "THE FASTEST."

First up. Breaking news in case you didn't know Piers Morgan is extremely British. And we were talking in the break yesterday about how seriously the Brits take their tea. So, we decided to have Piers show us the proper way. I think this is a real public service announcement.

MORGAN: OK. Well, first of all, I'm not taking it personally on my last day on the show, you -- none of you have mentioned the fact it's my birthday. So, we're just going to leave that out.

PIRRO: We didn't know.

MORGAN: It's all right. You know now, and it's not too late for gifts. But the, look, here's the problem with the way Americans make tea. They make it too weak or they over stir it, but they never get it right, the recipe. It's actually a science and the crucial thing: you take a cup. You have to put the milk in first. But if you then have to have good proper tea. This is Harney and Sons English breakfast tea -- you get it in all the finest establishments.

You need to have at least one bag per cup and then tossing in another one to get the perfect texture which has to be kind of -- imagine being on a beach in Miami for two weeks. That's the texture you're after, right? So, you take it here. You let is stew for three to four minutes, you still want off for about two minutes, and then you should have the perfect texture. Now, that is too weak. So, whoever this is, did not put enough bags in.

GUTFELD: Should we fire her?

MORGAN: Yes.

PERINO: But do you think that water wasn't boiled --

MORGAN: Message, message to the women of America. If any man likes their tea white weak like this? Get rid of them.

PIRRO: Maybe it's the milk.

MORGAN: It will never change. It will never change.

PERINO: Maybe the water wasn't boiling.

MORGAN: No, no, it's just -- it's the wrong texture.

GUTFELD: No, Piers, this is why we threw the tea into the harbor.

PIRRO: That's right.

MORGAN: But the crucial thing, it's scientific fact. Get the milk in first. Make it stew for four minutes, not five, not three -- stir after two minutes of a bag per cup of one on top. That's the perfect recipe.

PIRRO: Wait a minute, you stir it when it's in the pot?

MORGAN: Yes, when they're all on the pot.

PIRRO: OK, I'm making the right color.

PERINO: Very helpful.

GUTFELD: Do you like (INAUDIBLE) tea? You've had builders --

MORGAN: Yes, this is basically --

PERINO: You like, do you like your spoon to be able to stand up in your tea?

MORGAN: The best of all the teas is Yorkshire Gold made in the north of England. Patrick Stewart and Star Trek got me into it. I ditched P.G. Tips heartlessly and went for Yorkshire Gold. It's the best tea that you will get. But here's a proper science because if you have a bad cup of tea, it tastes awful. If you have a good one, it's so satisfying. I mean it built our country.

PIRRO: So, do you like the flavor teas or no?

MORGAN: No, I don't like any of those nor do I like it without the milk. You got to have proper good builders breakfast tea.

PERINO: I think the milk thing freaks me out. I don't want to put the milk in the tea.

PIRRO: I'm with Dana.

MORGAN: You have to. You have to.

PIRRO: No.

PERINO: Why?

PIRRO: No.

MORGAN: No, actually, it's a scientific fact. So, Professor Mackey --

GUTFELD: Joe Machi.

MORGAN: From Leeds University revealed that actually in the process by putting milk last after water, the tannings which you get in the which produces the flavor will turn into solids before it develops flavor.

WATTERS: When you're attacking Piers, you're attacking science.

MORGAN: If you put the milk in -- I'm the Dr. Fauci of tea, all right? And when I tell you it's scientific, it's scientific. So, if you want to get the tannings, right and the taste and the flavor right, the milk has to go in first.

PIRRO: This is like the red color.

MORGAN: We're getting it. You're getting it.

WATTERS: You're getting there.

MORGAN: You're getting there.

PERINO: One more thing here one, not one more thing. One more topic on my fastest. There's more proof that machines are taking over the world. Meet Robo Burger, it cooks and assembles to go meals and just minutes. The robotic burger chef plugs right into the wall features a refrigerator, automated griddle and even a cleaning system. Greg, thoughts on the robot?

GUTFELD: You know, I have a theory that I believe you can taste effort, right? It's why your mom's sandwiches were always the best sandwiches. So, there's something about when you have a meal made by a machine, that means it's not really made.

PIRRO: It's not made with love.

GUTFELD: It's not made with love. Therefore, thumbs down on the robot burger.

PERINO: Would you eat one of these?

WATTERS: No, I'm not. You know, I'm watching what I eat these days, Dana, but I remember I had a vegetarian friend growing up and I always wanted them to trick into eating meat. So, one time my mother made a cheese sandwich.

GUTFELD: Why would you do that?

WATTERS: And when he went to the bathroom in my house, I took a piece of Turkey which is very similar to the color cheese she used and I slid it into his sandwich and he ate it.

PERINO: And did he like it?

WATTERS: It's so good.

GUTFELD: How do you enjoy that?

PERINO: He got sick.

GUTFELD: He got a little sick.

PERINO: OK. Well done, Jesse.

PIRRO: Did he get sick?

WATTERS: Yes, but a robot can't do that.

GUTFELD: No, that's true.

PERINO: Piers, what do you think about the robots? Are they coming to London too?

MORGAN: I would think so. I'll eat anything. I don't care who makes it. I'll just --

PERINO: What about the workers, Judge?

PIRRO: I used to be one of the workers.

PERINO: Yes.

PIRRO: Yes, I used to flip burgers.

WATTERS: And now, look at you.

PIRRO: And now I'm drinking tea that Piers Morgan --

MORGAN: By the way, you have to get your pinky out, come on.

PIRRO: Yes, the pinky up.

PIRRO: Can I tell you something?

PERINO: Yes.

PIRRO: I like the milk in it.

PERINO: OK, I might try it.

PIRRO: Cheers. We have to go cheers. All right, don't cheers.

PERINO: You'll find out just one how -- and "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Time now for "ONE MORE THING." He complained about it so we are going to give him what he wants. Piers Morgan, happy birthday --

PIRRO: Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

MORGAN: Oh my God! This is a proper delegation.

PERINO: Yes, it's a whole thing. Oh, fantastic.

WATTERS: This is so American pie cuisine. We have surprises, pizza and --

MORGAN: I love it.

WATTERS: You can't get that in Great Britain.

PIRRO: Oh, he goes right for the hotdog.

WATTERS: And yes, we have all the good stuff really bad for you. But it's good, and we're going to give this to you too.

PIRRO: I'll take some of this.

WATTERS: This is for your flight home.

MORGAN: Thank you.

WATTERS: Can't leave soon enough. I'm just kidding. We love you. And we -- this is, this is --

MORGAN: Love this.

PERINO: Oh, it's for your tea. That's got to fit a lot of tea in there.

MORGAN: I have to say. It's been a great three days. Thank you.

PERINO: Thank you. We love to have you.

MORGAN: And you've been very, very hospitable.

GUTFELD: That's just it? Are you on tomorrow?

MORGAN: I'm not on tomorrow.

PERINO: But he's on your show.

GUTFELD: Yes, he's on my show on Friday.

PIRRO: What's in the box?

GUTFELD: What's in the box? My favorite line.

GUTFELD: We're going to get into this. But first we're going to go to Dana while we --

PERINO: Anyway, happy, happy birthday. It was pretty funny when you said we forgot you, but we did not forget his birthday. All right, season two of "Everything Will Be OK," the podcast, it drops on Monday, April 4th. FoxNewsPodcast.com. So, I have a lot of great guests, I'm very proud to say: Country Music Star Walker Hayes, who the judge played. I interviewed him and the Co-Founders of Minute Mentoring.

And Mike Rowe will talk about dirty jobs for girls. This will be great. Also, the paperback version of the book is now officially on sale. And I'm going to sign books this Saturday at the little point bookshop in Point Pleasant, New Jersey at 2:00 p.m. Eastern, so swing by I'll be there but Percy will be there. So, that's your draw.

WATTERS: All right. Tonight on "JESSE WATTERS PRIMETIME," we have a bunch of good guests, but we also booked the pansexual nymphs that Greg mentioned live from the Magic Kingdom to talk about what's really going on in Disney World. So, definitely tune in at 7:00 Eastern. Now, Greg, it's your turn.

GUTFELD: I forgot, tonight, I have the judge -- you're on tonight.

PIRRO: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's going to be fun. We're going to talk about a lot of stuff. But let's do this.

WATTERS: I'm having this.

GUTFELD: "GREG'S SHORT FRIEND NEWS." All right, as you know, being medium height, I can't fit into a lot of tight places. That's why I let Dana hang around with me because she's tiny, and I can put her in places that I can't get to. Just like this pair. This guy is having a hard time getting the ball, but his buddy gets the ball.

PERINO: OK. I'll get it for you. I'll get it for you.

GUTFELD: There you go. Next time, you know, show the dog struggling at the beginning. I was editing for time and they end up ruining it.

WATTERS: All right. Have some cheesecake?

GUTFELD: I can't. I'm on diet.

WATTERS: Stop, you look great.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

WATTERS: All right. Judge, what are you doing lately?

PIRRO: My turn. OK. If you know me that you know I love a dog that has confidence. Check out this cute pup who really knows how to pose for a selfie, even has perfect timing. Take a look. My boobs are definitely not camera shy. OK, first thing in the morning they all jump on my bed to wake me up. This is what I see. That's Tedd. I haven't used an alarm clock in years. Thanks to them. Here are pictures of them. Morning photos on top of the bed. They don't care. They just jump. It's time to get up. That's Tedd and Red.

WATTERS: Piers Morgan.

MORGAN: Well, I've got this -- I don't understand why people -- sorry for looking ridiculous, but I'd rather like it. Why would anyone base jump? You know when they throw themselves off cliffs with little parachutes? And this is the answer as to why you should never do it because this guy base jumps up and then gets trapped on a rock for an hour with basically the parachute bit shredded. And all the others had gone, and then he just thought they'd forgotten about him. And just going to spend the rest his natural life suspended from his rock, so it just confirmed my -- I have one phobia in life.

PERINO: But how did it end.

MORGAN: The one thing I hate --

GUTFELD: He died.

PERINO: No, how did it --

MORGAN: No, he got. They actually remembered that one of them hadn't come down.

PERINO: Oh, OK, great --

MORGAN: And they got him down. But as someone who hates heights, that is my idea of utter hell.

WATTERS: The same feeling I had when I hosted the "GREG GUTFELD SHOW," pure terror. "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next with Bret Baier.

BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Piers, it's been great seeing you on air, all this week. But I have to say, that was a little premature birthday whining.

WATTERS: I agree.

BAIER: Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

GUTFELD: All right.

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