Tofu or not tofu? That is the question.
The Los Angeles vegan community is calling fowl on one of its most beloved institutions for that restaurant’s sudden decision to begin serving meat.
Chef Mollie Engelhart’s "Sage Vegan Bistro" is set to become "Sage Regenerative Kitchen and Brewery," in a move to beef up profits that she says is in line with her deeply held environmentalist beliefs.
Regenerative farming, you see, is supposedly a way of producing real animal meat that actually helps the planet, and hey, at least the cows, if not the diners, will still be grass fed.
But no sooner had the announcement been made than negative comments started springing up like bean sprouts.
According to the L.A. Times outraged patrons complained that the change is "a sham," "deeply disturbing," "a bummer announcement," "a huge betrayal to animals," "devastating," a "horrific transition" and "profit disguised as environmental progress."
YOUNG PEOPLE LIKE ME ARE GOING VEGAN. THAT’S BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT
There are even calls to boycott the establishment all because actual, real chicken will now be sullying the Creamy Coconut Raman for those who eat meat.
For her part, the embattled chef says, "I understand their passion and I understand their sadness and I understand their anger," adding, "I hope that the vegan community and the regenerative community can really come together because I think they’re both powerful, powerful pathways for change."
To me, they just seem like a powerful pathway to higher beef jerky prices, which, let's be honest, are already exorbitant, but good for Engelhart.
First off, let’s be clear, as far as first world problems go, this is up there with the grocery store only having domestic prosciutto, but it is instructive in regard to the entitlement of the progressive mindset.
Not a single one of these leaf eaters appears to be even a partial owner of Sage Bistro, which suffered losses under the pandemic lockdowns it is still struggling to recover from, yet the actual owner must, for some reason, court financial ruin to appease their limited appetites and sensibilities.
All of this outrage also makes no sense.
Do these dainty, dandelion like dilettantes never set foot in any restaurant that isn’t strictly vegan? It's not smoking. We don’t need separate non-meat sections in our fooderies.
I think the real problem here is that these people don’t want to eat in the same space as carnivores with their MAGA hats, loud voices and greasy burgers.
How can any decent person be expected to enjoy their Lavender Dusted Beer Bread ($9) or Jackfruit ‘Crab’ Cakes ($19) while such barbarians are masticating just a few feet away?
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This was supposed to be a refuge, a celery salt safe space where everyone and everything in sight aligns with your ideas and identity.
And it speaks to how we silo ourselves today, in cement towers of the news we prefer, the streaming services we choose, the algorithms of social media constantly congratulating us on our general rightness.
Like brats on college campuses deciding who has the right morals or politics to enter their sacred protest encampment, the critics of Engelhart want protection from ideas and entrées they disagree with.
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Now Sage Bistro is corrupted.
I get it, If Delassandro’s in Philly started serving vegan cheesesteaks, yeah, I might look sideways at it, but it takes all kinds in this world.
Food is one of the central ways in which we share our cultures, traditions, and yes, values. If one chooses not to partake that is one thing, but to refuse to even be in its presence is frankly insulting.
Maybe, just maybe, what these perturbed patrons with too much time on their hands are really worried about is the temptation of the flesh.
I mean, let's be honest, when they are sitting there with their plate of kale and see the steaming carne asada come out, life can’t help but suddenly seem a bit unfair.
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I say live and let live, long may Sage Regenerative Kitchen and Brewery thrive, bringing together Angelenos from all culinary castes, the omnivores, the vegetarians, the people who think cilantro tastes like soap. We are all human beings at day's end.
That having been said, I’ll have the cheeseburger please.