Tucker Carlson: Everyone at the White House has gone crazy

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Tucker: The bizarre private moments of Biden, Harris

'Tucker Carlson Tonight' host questions the sincerity of our leaders

We have spent an awful lot of time telling you what we think about the Biden administration. We do it virtually every night, a little repetitive. So for once, we're going to let the Biden administration speak for itself. This show has obtained some recently shot footage of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, the president and vice president of the United States, or vice versa, depending on your view footage that shows them in their private moments deep within the federal compound in Washington. It is a remarkable window into who these people really are, and maybe the most remarkable thing about it is that this video comes from the Biden administration itself. They released it, apparently on purpose. They wanted you to see it. They thought you would be impressed. They thought it'd make them look good. Keep that in mind if you watch the clip from Kamala Harris’ "surprise" birthday party the other day. 

In the entire history of sad parties, it has got to take first place, talk about a mirth free event. It's like a roomful of aliens have gathered to act out this concept they've just heard about called happiness. The head Alien is a supernaturally strange being called Kamala Harris, who, for reasons no one ever explains, walks into a room in the most secure building in the world with a piece of elasticized fabric over her face. Like, that's totally normal. Just another masked birthday celebration.

This Kamala Harris then walks over to a man, press reports claim is her husband, who like her, is fully vaxxed. He, for some reason, has a mask on his face, too, which suggests that they don't actually live together or indeed have ever met. We don't know the truth, but whatever it is, the two then proceed to pantomime the most sexless imitation of a kiss imaginable, awkwardly rubbing faces through the gauze. And then, as if it could get weirder, Harris suddenly yells surprise at her own surprise birthday party, like she's hosting the event for one of her multiple personalities. 

Vice President Kamala Harris reacts as people sing "happy birthday" to her after she arrived to the U.S. Capitol Building on October 20, 2021 in Washington, DC. 

What the hell is going on here? Who are these people? Oh, just our leaders, the people run the country. And then it gets truly bizarre. In another video, intentionally released by the White House press office, Joe Biden is in a hallway tottering along like a nursing home patient in the final stretch, clearly unaware of his surroundings or what he's carrying in his own hands. Spoiler alert: they’re flowers. 

KAMALA HARRIS, AS JOE BIDEN GIVES HER A BIRTHDAY GIFT: Really? Aw, Joe. Awe, I’m very touched. Thank you. (kissing sound). Aw, thank you. Look at how gorgeous. … This is my favorite. I’m going to hang this up with great pride. Thank you, Mr. President.

The camera catches her masked alone in her own office, and then she talks. "Oh, Joe, I'm very touched," says this alien posing as vice president. She goes on to use the word gorgeous. A word that no actual human being has used since 1977. There's even if you listen for it, a fake kiss sound in there. We're assuming Harris made that sound, though it's possible they're playing some sort of soundtrack in the background. "Lifelike Party Sounds Vol. 1." We can't be certain. 

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What we do know is that they want you to see this, and that is interesting. You can tell a lot about a regime by the propaganda it produces. North Korea puts out a ton of propaganda. Just the other day, Kim's government released a video of its soldiers breaking concrete slabs with their bare hands. One particularly committed communist lies down shirtless on shards of broken glass. So the message here is not hard to understand: These are the people defending North Korea. Back off or we'll eat you. OK, got it. 

But what's the message of the Joe and Kamala videos? All your nightmares are real. The people in charge are even worse than you thought they were. Kamala may have seemed kind of fake to you. Joe may have looked a little out of it. But actually, the White House is now telling us, you don't know the half of it. 

It's possible Kamala Harris is an actual robot with batteries. The new frontier of A.I. Joe Biden isn't just punchy. He's barely conscious. That's the message they're sending. It's really strange, and it's been going on for a while. Remember last year when Joe Biden read from a notecard that Kamala Harris would be his vice president? This was the announcement video they released. 

KAMALA HARRIS: Hi, hi. Hi. Sorry to keep you. 

JOE BIDEN: No, that's all right. You ready to go to work? 

KAMALA HARRIS: Oh my God, I am so ready to go to work. 

JOE BIDEN: First of all, is the answer yes? 

KAMALA HARRIS: The answer is absolutely, yes, Joe, and I'm ready to work. I am ready to do this with you, for you. I just I'm just deeply honored and very excited. 

Whoa. That's just beyond belief. 

So why would the people around Joe Biden want the public to see something like that? Maybe they don't care. Maybe they're not embarrassed of Joe Biden's condition. Maybe, in fact, his condition was the whole point of making him the Democratic nominee for president in the first place. 

It's not unimaginable, it's happened, there’s precedent for it. In 1617, a group of unscrupulous political operatives in Istanbul installed a mentally defective man as sultan of the entire Ottoman Empire. His name was Mustafa the First. Historians later referred to him as Mustafa the Mad, and he certainly was that. 

Mustafa spent his days babbling like an infant and throwing coins to birds. Occasionally, if he was feeling sporty, he would knock the turban off someone else's head. He was completely demented. The general population didn't know that, Of course. The sultan really left the palace, and when he did, he spoke from a script. 

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But the people around him certainly knew they preferred him that way. He was easier to control. 

Whatever you think of him, Joe Biden is definitely easy to control. You recall this clip in which Biden kept referring to something called the "Harris/Biden administration." 

JOE BIDEN: Harris/Biden Administration is going to relaunch that effort and keep pushing further to make it easier for military spouses and veterans to find meaningful careers. 

Again, these are prepared remarks, we can't say that enough. These are statements that the Biden people are making voluntarily. So many of them are like that. They're not gaffes. They're what they want you to see. 

In December of last year, Kamala Harris, who grew up in Canada, a foreign country, swore that she witnessed, "multiple generations of her family" celebrating Kwanzaa, an American holiday that was invented in Long Beach, California, after Kamala Harris was born. 

KAMALA HARRIS: My sister and I, we grew up celebrating Kwanzaa every year. Our family and our extended family, we would gather around across multiple generations and we’d tell stories. The kids would sit on the carpet and the elders would sit in chairs. … So to everyone who was celebrating, Happy Kwanzaa from our family to yours.

It's just crazy that they would put something like that out. Not one word is true, but not one word is believable. 

Again, it was a prepared statement, it was carefully considered. Then didn't even bother to look at a calendar. 

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It was like when Kamala Harris said that Tupac was the best rapper alive 23 years after he died. When you're making history, you don't care about chronology or facts. We've never had a vice president who looks like Kamala Harris, so words no longer matter. That's the real message. All that matters is what Kamala Harris looks like. She's our Martin Luther King. 

WASHINGTON, DC - OCTOBER 21: U.S. President Joe Biden (L) and Vice President Kamala Harris attend the 10th anniversary celebration of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial near the Tidal Basin on the National Mall on October 21, 2021 in Washington, DC. Biden attended the memorial's dedication ceremony in 2011 with then President Barack Obama who delivered the keynote address. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

In 1965, the actual Martin Luther King told a story about a civil rights march in Birmingham, Alabama. At that march, a police officer asked a young girl who was present: "What do you want?" In King's telling "the little girl looked at him straight in the eye and answered. Fweedom." That was 1965. 

Here's Kamala Harris' version of the same story, this time starring Martin Luther King's modern reincarnation, Kamala Harris. 

KAMALA HARRIS: She would tell the story about how they're marching, and this is back when strollers didn't really have armrests and seatbelts. So they're marching away and, you know, shouting. And all of that. And then I think as my uncle Freddy, you know, looked down and said, look in the stroller, which was empty, and said, ‘Where’s Kamala?’ And apparently, they left me like a block behind. I’d fallen out of the stroller. There you go. And then my mother would tell a funny story about how, like, one day she and I was fussing and, you know, and so I’m fussing – it’s much cuter when she would tell the story – so then she would look down at me and say ‘Kamala, what do you want, what do you want?’ And I’d look back up at her and I’d say ‘fweedom!’

Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, that's our Martin Luther King, the Canadian version, except without the wisdom, the insight, the restraint or the eloquence. But with a brand new, highly creepy engineered laugh, a noise that, according to zoologists, scares the hell out of squirrels and other small woodland creatures. But maybe you like it. Maybe you want to hear a whole lot more terrifyingly cringy fake laughter from a highly ambitious lady with dead eyes. The White House is betting that you do.

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So to accommodate your bottomless appetite for being patronized by Kamala Harris. They released a video in which she talks about space. 

KAMALA HARRIS: I just love the idea of exploring the unknown. And then there's other things that we just haven't figured out or discovered yet to think about so much that's out there that we still have to learn. Like, I love that. I love that. And so I'm very excited about the space council. … You guys are going to see you're going to literally see the craters on the Moon with your own eyes, with your own eyes. I'm telling you it is going to be unbelievable. 

It's funny. You imagine often that the truth is hidden away. We'll never really get to what the truth is. But in fact, very often the truth is right there. It's right in the video. Just look at the video. That's the truth. It's the truth they want you to see anyway. And for that reason, it’s deeply revealing. That video tells you everything. 

One of those kids listening to Kamala Harris talk about space we later learned was a child actor, and yet he was still the most genuine person in that video. It's kind of nuts when you think about it. these people literally have no idea how absurd they look, and how could they? They live in a tiny, airless cult where everyone pretends that Joe Biden is fully competent, Kamala Harris is a civil rights hero. It's Jones Town. The clips we just played are the documentary evidence that historians of the future will study to figure out what happened to America. 

President Joe Biden attends the 10th-anniversary celebration of the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial near the Tidal Basin on the National Mall on October 21, 2021 in Washington, DC. Biden attended the memorial's dedication ceremony in 2011 with then President Barack Obama who delivered the keynote address. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Behind the heavily guarded walls of the White House, everyone has gone crazy. Just this week, the Biden administration declared that a biological man who wears a dress is now a female admiral. And then they sent that brave Four-Star female admiral out to deliver a speech that read like something out of a D-Day documentary. 

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DR. RACHEL LEVINE: I am truly honored to join the ranks of men and women across this great nation who have committed to defend the United States against small and large threats known and unknown. I am honored to serve as the first female Four-Star officer of the U.S. Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. 

They're daring you to sit there and not say this is ridiculous, but it is sorry, it is ridiculous. Sorry, not playing along. But they don't think it is. And so you have to ask yourself, how long will it be before Joe Biden appoints his horse to the Supreme Court? And when he inevitably does do that, you have to ask how long will it be till CNN informs us: This is a watershed moment for equine rights. Don't you dare laugh. That would be a hate crime. 

This article is adapted from Tucker Carlson's opening commentary on the October 21, 2021 edition of "Tucker Carlson Tonight."