Greg Gutfeld: America teeters on edge of mayhem, with CNN ready to push us over

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Gutfeld: How the mainstream media made mockery of truth about violence

'Gutfeld!' panel analyzes why staged disagreement grows media audiences

It's official: Unlike Joe Biden at 8 p.m., crime is up.

How do I know this? CNN reported it. (I'll give you time to regain consciousness.)

Yes, the official network of Zoom call masturbators actually got something right. CNN, where the N stands for "Never mind."

Now, the story was on their website, but it came out on a Saturday, when people are watching sports, playing with their kids or replacing their bong water. (Shoutout to Steve Doocy.) According to their website, a crime wave occurred in 2020 and stretched into 2021 in Democrat-run cities. In NYC, homicide spiked 14%. In Chicago, it spiked 33% -- including a record 18 killings in one day. Los Angeles, 36%. Memphis saw an increase of 100-plus killings.  Cities where defunding the police was pushed got hit the hardest. The good news is that most of the savings went to gunshot-related health care.

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All this made the CNN website on a Saturday. Meanwhile, when the actual crime was taking place, what was CNN saying in primetime? You must remember this:

DON LEMON, JULY 7, 2020: [imitating Trump sarcastically] Democratic cities are in chaos right now, is this what you want from Joe Biden and they're going to take your country away and they're taking down the statues and --

CHRIS CUOMO: [joining in]: Crime is rising.

LEMON: [continuing] Oh, my gosh, it's so bad. And they get defunding police.  [Normal voice] It's like -- [long, exasperated exhale].

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Like Mick Jagger's face, that has not aged well. So what was Lemon's response to real crime data? Well, he did what any honest reporter would do. He went to dinner.

DON LEMON, SEPT. 17, 2020: If you watch a certain state TV and you listen to conservative media, you would think that, you know, entire cities are just embroiled in fights and fires and whatever. We went out, had a great dinner in New York City tonight. People actually walked up to us and said, 'Thank you for -- I watch you every night. I can't believe they didn't do a double take at us actually hanging out and not seeing us on the TV screen. But New York City was not a hellscape, was it? 

Oh, Don, they did a double take because they couldn't believe you would wear mom jeans to an Applebee's. But judging by his ratings, it's always shocking when he's recognized. Just so you know, as he said all that, people were still being killed across the country. So why mock the truth? Because it exposed their own support of violence.

CHRIS CUOMO, JUNE 2, 2020: And please show me where it says the protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful, because I can show you that outraged citizens are the ones who have made America what she is and led to any major milestone.

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Actually, it's in the Constitution, jackass. But expecting Chris to read is like expecting his brother to keep his hands off the help.

Smart people knew that getting rid of police and justifying looting and property destruction would lead to chaos, but the media refused to say so because it ruined their narrative and made them complicit in death. But hey, maybe the death was mostly peaceful.

So instead of focusing on the crime wave, they energized the protests, which forced police to shift officers from neighborhoods plagued by crime to babysitting purple-haired, overweight undergrads. I mean, check out the mug shots of those spoiled White rioters, most of whom look like members of a boarding school AV club. They enjoyed playing terrorism tourism, knowing they'd safely go home to the 'burbs when they finished burning down the cities. Now, that's privilege.

Remember, while you watched those screaming, petulant creeps shout at the stoic police, somewhere across town, a bodega was being robbed or burned. Because officials reduced prison populations to prevent inmates from getting COVID, innocent citizens were attacked by violent thugs who were either released early or just never detained. Overcrowded court systems postponed the justice system altogether as even the dumbest thugs realized accountability for their actions no longer existed. Turns out, COVID has been the best thing to happen to criminals since Democrats.

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Welcome to clown world: Violent criminals released so they won't get COVID and business owners arrested for trying to keep the lights on. The Ferguson effect made it worse, when police pull back on policing because they knew if they even try to do their job, they would lose their job or go to jail. This, along with low police morale, boosted crime rates in cities with already high rates of crime, meaning cities with a large minority population. Once again, the people the woke pretend to help, they end up hurting, and the clowns leading this phony crusade get ratings and raises. An Emmy nomination can't be far off.

So where are we now? What happens if the Derek Chauvin trial outcome doesn't go the way the media planned and hoped for? The expectations are that the cop is found guilty of murder. But are you sure that's going to happen? If not, what happens then? Remember the riots and the looting from last year? It'll be back, except it'll be way worse. The media just set the table for more ungodly mayhem. I just hope it doesn't ruin Don Lemon's dinner.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the April 8, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"