Greg Gutfeld: The media will bury the border crisis like the Hunter laptop until they can impugn America again

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Gutfeld: Politico confirms Hunter Biden laptop emails

'Gutfeld!' panel reacts to Politico calling some of the material first reported by the New York Post as 'genuine'

So, Politico published quite the bombshell – Turns out the emails from Hunter Biden's laptop were authenticated. Yeah, imagine that. Authenticating things we already knew to be true! 

What are you gonna tell us next? Hunter likes blow and hookers? Well done fellas! Everyone in the media take the year off. Too late, you already have.

Yeah, this news comes from a new book, but it's not new to any of us. Thanks to the reporting of the New York Post.

And it was only because the rest of the media wanted Joe to win, that it was buried faster than your kid’s guinea pig you accidentally stepped on because you were drunk. 

But just for old times’ sake, let's report the so-called news: 

 "A person who had independent access to Hunter Biden’s emails" confirms two of the emails the post published. Including one about a potential deal with China with the line "10 held by H for the big guy?" — that is, Joe Biden. 

I’m guessing that ten had more zeroes following it than Joy Reid’s Twitter account. 

Now, we already knew this – because we didn't ignore Hunter's former business partner Tony Bobulinksi when he confirmed them a forever ago. 

The book also confirms that emails released by the Swedish government also match emails from the laptop. Yeah, I know - who knew Sweden had a government?

But it's that China email that matters – it reveals the Bidens were in cahoots to make a buttload of money with an enemy. 

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That fact would have doomed Joe's election chances if it was treated like the deadly grenade it was. But thanks to the press. And big tech. It didn't. They’re more rotten than month-old bagged salad.   

So just for old times’ sake, let's look back at how the compliant media treated this story when it came out.

First, CNN. Check out these graphics. First: how the newest anti-Biden narrative was manufactured. Second: US authorities investigating if recently published emails are tied to Russian disinformation effort in targeting Biden

Reliable sources, my ass. Now, I’d say Stelter should eat some crow, but he might go into toxic shock cuz it's a protein. His only reliable source is a bucket of raw cookie dough.

Remember NPR? "Why haven’t you seen any stories from NPR about the New York Post’s Hunter Biden story? We don’t want to waste our time on stories that are not really stories!"

Yeah, right. NPR you do that. Ignore that story, and focus instead on a legally blind transgender pony who makes a living doing porn.

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Here's MSNBC: "Why does Rudy Giuliani have access to peddle this disinformation repeatedly?"

"This is not censorship. Facebook is under no obligation to allow a disputed report that appears to contain disinformation..."

Joy Reid tweets: "Good for Joe Biden. No need to dignify a Russian hatchet job...  We're not doing 'emails' again, America."

Come on Joy. You get any dumber, we're gunna start calling you Don Lemon.

And remember that letter signed by 50 former intel officers? "Hunter Biden story is Russian disinformation, dozens of former intel officials say." Well, either they were dupes or traitors. That letter came together faster than a new bong at Kat’s house. Yet all the hacks swallowed that BS like it was beluga caviar.

Look at all these jackasses:  David Frum, Max Boot, David Corn, Ben Rhodes, Tommy Vietor, Evan McMullin. The list of dolts goes on and on, thanks to Drew Holden who compiled them. Seriously, that must be a Guinness book world record for s*** stacked that high.

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And now, it's so cute to see these dopes who painted Trump as a Russian spy, while burying Biden’s connections to China - get mad at the dope they elected. Yep, that same press cries, cuz the guy they carried to the White House now won't answer their questions.

*Clip of Biden ignoring press questions in the Oval Office*

Wow, he’s less eager to attend a press conference than Brian Laundrie's parents. The irony is as rich as a Burisma shareholder.

Afghanistan. The drone strike. Inflation. COVID. Division. Polarization. Crime. And the Haitians, who prove living under bridges isn’t just for Americans. In just 8 short months Biden turned America from "us first," to "dead last." 

Like my favorite blow-up doll, Gladys, Joe's presidency has quickly deflated. And like Gladys, he doesn't answer questions either.

But remember - he didn't really want to run. He knew he was as done as a burnt rib eye. He just wanted to go back to Delaware and wander into neighbors' yards without his pants on. You know, like the good old days.

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So it's all on the press. And they still love to bury things. Take the border. For months, horrifying video relayed the hell that was going on. But they ran from that footage like it was an incoming Zoom call from Jeffrey Toobin.

But the media only cared when they found "one image" they could use to demonize Border Patrol. But now – surprise surprise – the so-called whipping, was downgraded to wielding, then whirling - and now it's just twirling. What's next - wooing?

Turns out the only things getting whipped at the border are Joe’s and Kamala’s asses.

The Washington Post now admits the border patrol "did not appear to strike anyone." Yeah, but you can't unring that bell. The idiots who read their garbage digested that crap whole and will continue to use it every time they argue with a sane person. 

But that paper is now mostly fake stories and corrections. I would line my birdcage with it. But then I’d end up with a parrot who'll hate America, praise China, and demand a non-cisgender pronoun.

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And no Joy - they weren’t whips, they were reins.

Joy Reid, Monday: I was not aware that whips which come from the slave era, slavery era, were part of the package that we issue to any sort of law enforcement or government-sanctioned personnel. Were you aware that was being issued to people, that people had that kind of equipment on them that they could use on humans?

She has to be a plant. You’d think she’d know a little about being an equestrian, for all the horse s*** she produces. 

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But now as the whip story evaporates under the glare of common sense, so goes their attention to the border problem. It shall be buried like the laptop.

Until of course, they can find one more image to impugn Americans. If only there was some of that on Hunter's laptop. Then they would report the f*** out of it.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the September 22, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"