Gutfeld: The media lies to us to divide us
'Gutfeld!' panel discusses Biden's Afghanistan withdrawal and more
So, I wonder: is this the greatest humiliation I’ve ever seen?
Donald Trump, Saturday: This is the greatest humiliation I’ve ever seen. Biden's botched exit in Afghanistan is the most astonishing display of gross incompetence by a nation's leader//Vietnam looks like a master class in strategy compared to Joe Biden’s, catastrophe. And it didn't have to happen. All he had to do is leave the soldiers there until everything's out. Our citizens. Our weapons. Then you bomb the hell out of the bases. We have five bases and you say bye bye.
Let me ask you, do you think that General Patton was woke? I don't think so.
Donald Trump, Saturday: Let me ask you, do you think that General Patton was woke? I don't think so. //you know what woke means? It means you're a loser. Everything woke. Everything woke. It's true. Everything woke turns to s---. OK?
And what of Biden? Do you think they would have covered it if I fell on the Air Force One?
Donald Trump, Saturday: Do you think they would have covered it if I fell on the Air Force One, when he fell three times? Down goes Frazier. Remember that down he kept going down and up. Down and up. I said, what the hell's going on here? I was watching that. What's going on with our president? // I did the ramp, the long, slippery ramp. I said, general, it was pouring out, pouring. I said, general, this is a bad deal here. I got leather shoes on the bottom and I’m going to fall. I'm not going to let them. I'm not. So I walk down tiny little steps. What's wrong with the president? The biggest story//normally they have like some little grooves, nothing. It was like an ice skating rink. I think it was a trap//] but with him falling down the stairs three times, he was down. Now he's up. He's down. I get on my you know, he's up. He's down again. He's down for three to you know, if that were a fight, they'd stop it.
But that wasn't the big news. The big news... you didn’t hear. Because it doesn't align with the legacy media's highbrow, corruption-infused narrative.
According to the FBI, there was scant evidence the Jan. 6 Capitol riot was part of a plot to overturn the election. We knew that. You knew that.
All it took was one look at the role-playing "insurrectionists" to tell you they were more interested in organizing a game of "Dungeons and Dragons" than a government coup. There was far more evidence to overturn the election on Hunter Biden’s laptop.
But it didn't lead any newscasts. Because, like one of Hunter’s laptops, it's one of those stories that just disappears.
For seven months hacks lectured us on the big lie, hacks who've been wrong more times than Chris Cuomo playing pat-a-cake. Oh, they screamed "insurrection" every day. It being worse than 9/11 or the Civil War combined. Except it was as pre-planned as Biden’s evacuation of Kabul.
Yeah, while Biden yakked on and on about evil Trumpers – he completely bypassed a mass evacuation of Americans and allies, fearing it would signal the "imminent collapse of the Afghan government." Which is exactly what happened: the collapse of the Afghan government. As well as Biden’s presidency.
So like a spouse who's been cheated on, we've been lied to a lot. Masks, inflation, law enforcement, China, race. Whether our president has enough mental capacity to dress himself. And God forbid we question it.
From Morning Blow to Don (suck a) Lemon, they reserve their disdain for you – the person who dare question the liars. Meanwhile, these cretins hobnob with the real liars. Hell, some of the most meat-headed are related to the liars.
This swirling swamp mixture of media and government elites gave us Afghanistan. As well as bedridden Grandpa Joe from "Willy Wonka," who's now our president.
And what are they really trying to cover up? Besides our maskless faces. And their own asses – the realization that they covered up a mess of a war, so that it would continue.
We've been part of a divisive game they created to keep us powerless. It's us vs. us. So it's never us vs. them.
The construct of Democrat and Republican as distinct leaderships turns out to be as fake as the teeth in the president's mouth.
Afghanistan is a perfect example. An overwhelming majority of left and right wanted us out. The war is the only thing less popular than Chrissy Teigen. Yet, it lasted 20 years. Even the Spice Girls couldn’t last that long.
And it was made possible by the lie that since our politicians were behind it, we had to be too. Maybe for a year, or two, or three we were. But after that, we filed it away as something our competent government is taking care of. Which is like trusting your kids with Uncle Hunter for the weekend.
Oddly we were putting our trust in institutions run by mouth-breathing morons who hate you. George W. Bush's CIA director, Gen. Michael Hayden, retweeted a photo labeling Trump supporters "our Taliban." And replied "good idea" when a Twitter user suggested sending the quote "MAGA wearing unvaxxed" on planes to Afghanistan.
That's an a--hole among an aristocracy of a--holes.
Now President Biden is pretending that he was always saying this was a bad war. A war that he backed strongly.
Someone needs to put smelling salts in a pretty woman’s hair so that when Biden sniffs it he wakes up to reality. But a president before him was different: that was Trump
He said it even before he was president. He knew it was becoming a waste of blood and treasure – these foreign wars.
So once again, Biden is like that student that cheats off the smarter kid sitting next to him and yet he still gets an F. But the swamp didn't care.
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So Biden came along like an untrained magician and pulled out the table cloth out from under the table, falsely thinking everything laid on top would magically stay in place. But that can only be done by someone who knows what they're doing.
Now the Taliban is giving us a deadline. Seriously, how is it up to them? But maybe with the clowns we have in power, they are.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the august 23, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"
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