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It’s time for "Who wants to be a murderer." 

If you’re reading this, chances are, you either have blood on your hands, have recently murdered someone, or both. 

Let’s go live to the media witch trials. Hey, I wonder, who learned a new word? 

MIKA BRZEZINSKI: The same ghoulish death cult figures…following into a death cult…that’s death cult material…be a part of this death cult…death cult…death cult…crazed teaching of a death cult. 

I guess when you have the IQ of a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Or in her case, a thumb. 

CRITICS WONDER WHY CNN MEDIA ANCHOR BECAME ‘DE FACTO CNN SPOKESPERSON’ AMID GROWING CUOMO BROTHERS SCANDALS

I wonder if we should start renaming diseases after people. 

JIM ACOSTA: Instead of the delta variant, why not call it the DeSantis variant? 

MIKA BRZEZINSKI: And in Florida, we have a governor more interested in playing politics than saving lives. The DeSantis variant. 

Oh, clever. Great minds think alike. 

Hey, I got one. How about the Mika virus? 

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, it’s actually more transmissible than COVID. Traveling through TV airwaves, it infects your brain with really stupid thoughts. 

Similar to Zika, and just as deadly if you ingest enough of it. 

FLORIDA GOV. DESANTIS DEPLOYS COVID-19 ANTIBODY ‘RAPID RESPONSE UNIT’

It’s a trend. Today, you can actually call someone a mass murderer for not agreeing with you, and no one bats an eye. 

But use the wrong pronoun, and they will lose what’s left of their PC-saturated brain. 

Why not? Especially if you delight in killing children. 

EUGENE ROBINSON, MSNBC CHIEF POLITICAL ANALYST: Killing your political supporter seems to be the stupidest and most short-sighted political strategy I've ever heard of, yet that’s what DeSantis is doing…he’s insisting pediatric wards be filled with COVID patients, it is outrageous, to say the least, and frankly it’s criminal. 

JOY REID: What is the strategy behind killing children in your own state and letting children die of COVID? 

Great question! What is the strategy of killing children? 

Maybe you should ask Planned Parenthood, lady. 

So who is killing children? Who is letting children die? Wouldn’t it be great if we actually demanded proof from these idiots? 

What we’re seeing now among the weakest minds is an adolescent delight in demonization. 

It feels good to call someone a murderer. 

It elevates you as judge and jury, and you get lots of attention as well. 

CNN ACCUSED OF ‘FEAR PORN’ FOR HYPING STORY OF BROWARD COUNTY TEACHERS DEAD FROM COVID WITHOUT KEY CONTEXT

You don’t even need to bother with fake statistics like the ones they used about Texas and Florida. 

But if they truly wanted to persuade people to their point of view, why would they constantly berate and mock and censor them? 

Because name-calling is way easier than making a sound argument based on facts and truth. 

And a sound argument would take all the fun out of being on TV. Which tells you an essential truth: They don’t want to persuade you. 

They don’t care who bets the vax, it’s all about that surge of dopamine, emphasis on dope. 

Now, if you were to return the favor or call them stupid, watch out. 

DELTA VARIANT: HOW DO I GET TESTED FOR IT?

I actually did this as an experiment, no joke. 

After Mika Brzezinski blood-libeled Gov. DeSantis on "The Five," I called her a "Dumb Broad." 

Why would I do that? It seems coarse, even for me. 

But I did it to reveal how the media would respond to it. 

As Gomer Pyle used to say, "surprise, surprise, surprise."

Calling her a dumb broad is worse than her calling people mass murderers. And it’s because the media, much like Van Gough, can only hear one side of things. 

Too soon? 

They are never offended by the truly offensive if it’s said against someone they disagree with. 

DEROY MURDOCK: BIDEN'S EVICTION MORATORIUM REVEALS DEMS' UTTER CONTEMPT FOR RULE OF LAW, CONSTITUTION

They can call you a murderer, but don’t you call them stupid. 

Well, whatever you say, stupid. 

So, who really cares about vaccine rates? Turns out that we do. 

Unlike the jerks at those other networks, we’ve debated how to persuade the hesitant if it’s possible, without accusing them of being Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy…or Andrew Cuomo. 

Of course, there are White folks hesitant about the vaccine. But Mika, Joe and Acosta want you to think that these groups are just like the neighborhoods they live in: all White, proverbially in red hats. 

But they can’t do the same to others outside that stereotype. 

New York City data shows that only 28% of Black New Yorkers ages 18-44 are fully vaxxed. That’s compared to 48% of Latino residents and 52% of Whites in the same age group. 

That’s a hell of a disparity, but you don’t hear that on those other shows. 

The fact is every individual has reasons for their reluctance. Some of it is misguided fear. Others are based in legit skepticism based on previous lies by so-called medical experts. 

You know, like "this virus didn’t leak from a lab." 

Paging Dr. Fauci. 

It’s normal and healthy not to trust the government. God knows they’ve given us plenty of reasons not to. 

AUSTRALIA LAWMAKER BLASTS CORONAVIRUS OVERREACTIONS: ‘WE ARE LOCKING DOWN BECAUSE SOMEONE SNEEZES’

Just as it is normal and healthy to acknowledge and admire the astonishing progress we have made in fighting disease with vaccines – it has changed the world. 

Paging Dr. Salk. 

I am pro-vaccine, but I am also pro-skepticism. 

How can that be? That’s too nuanced. And you can’t get in trouble if you’re just trashing Whitey. 

It’s the soft bigotry of low expectations once again. 

Those belittling clowns on other networks don’t believe minorities can handle criticism, or math, or getting an ID. 

So they focus their violence on an amorphous white mass of unvaxxed rednecks. I’m suddenly craving cracker barre. 

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Meanwhile, it’s expected another wave of COVID will hit Black New Yorkers pretty hard. Which is the perfect set-up for the "More evidence this country is racist" segments on Cable news. 

I’d say Mika and her death cult have blood on her hands, but then she might sue me for plagiarism. Only Joe Biden can get away from that. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the August 13, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"