Greg Gutfeld: Maybe it's time for a national intervention

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Gutfeld: Wokeism relies on this

'Gutfeld!' panel discusses the intolerance of young democrats these days

So turns out there are only two sexual orientations. Leftists and everyone else. It's true, according to a new poll, 71 percent of Democrat college students wouldn't go on a date with someone with opposing views - versus 31 percent of Republicans. That's a difference of like a thousand percent, Kat!

Also: 40 percent of young Dems refuse to be friends with the other side - compared to just five percent of Republicans. So apparently the newly woke prefer to judge you as good or evil based on political affiliation. Which explains how a child-rapist rioter attacking someone in Kenosha suddenly becomes a martyr.

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Also, 30 percent of Dems -- but only 7 percent of Republicans -- wouldn't work for someone who voted differently from them. Which sucks for Democrats, since all bosses are Republicans. But on the bright side Dems, everyone at the unemployment office votes blue. 

Gender affects the divide, in that fewer women would go on a date with someone who voted for an opposing candidate than men. Probably because men don't see politics when they see hotness. Meaning if a guy has sex with a woman who looks like a young Bridget Bardot, and suddenly notices her Obama tattoo - I’m pretty sure that won't be deal-breaker. Fact is, if we saw politics before looks, politics wouldn't exist, because neither would we. 

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The study also shows fewer women would shop at a business owned by someone of the other party. Although, I’m sure that changes when there's a shoe sale, am I right Kat?

So the partisan divide is real, but it's as one-sided as the French maid apron I wear at Stuart Varney's place. Axios, who did the polling, concludes such a divide makes future discord all the more likely. I mean you gotta wonder how far a liberal might take this?

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So this divide isn't the real story. It's really why these spoiled brats can no longer recognize that other perspectives have value. Instead, just means you're evil.

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So, if you're for low taxes, you're an evil greedy person. If you're for strong law enforcement, you must hate minorities. If you want school choice, you must be a domestic terrorist. All of these beliefs aren't original. They are dispersed by the triple t-shirt cannon that is the media, academia and the arts. They're the super-soakers of bad ideas. And there's nothing unique or rebellious about them.

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And once again we find that tolerance, as practiced by the left, is as real as Kat’s hair. It's not tolerance if you tolerate only those who accept your beliefs. It’s just like how ‘anti-racist’ really means racist. 

So where does this new hate come from? It's not like it simply erupts in the brains exactly at the same age for everyone. It's not like puberty, where you suddenly get aroused by the legs of an ottoman. And by you, I mean, me. Or like Kat, where suddenly your voice is deeper than James Earl Jones.

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Nope - hate is assigned to you like a social security number from somewhere else. Think about it. All those deranged political kids used to be okay - part of loving families. At some point, Buffy was a decent fun-loving, open-minded kid who played well with others. And then one day, like a remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers," that spirit of fun and cooperation got replaced by robotic rage. 

The kid comes home infused with anger, with their youthful good looks deliberately defaced like the side of a graffiti-covered train sitting on the tracks. The cheap piercings, horribly dyed, shaved hair -- the ugliness is the work uniform for the unemployable. If you don't know what I mean, Google "Antifa mugshots" or go to the Supercuts website.

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So this transformation is no product of some biochemical change. It's so conforming, that tells you that it's a well-packaged ideological virus designed to pit human against human. The Shia and the Sunnis have nothing on us. That's wokeism, which relies only on one single variable: identity.

This dark, spiteful movement is given a wide berth, because normal people are terrified of them. It's like being berated by a homeless guy high on bath salts. It's better to appease than become a target of a mostly-peaceful protest. 

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But beneath the superficial changes, lurks a dark fascism that's fed daily on campus by elites who decide the best way to get revenge against a country they despise is to poison impressionable minds, and then release them into the wild. It's not that they won't want to work for you, or don't want to date you - they want you destroyed. They want to cancel you. Your business, your bank account, your right to free speech. It's what brought us Antifa and the riots.

Being politically apart, to them, means the same thing it does to a serial killer who has you tied to a radiator in his basement. They can do anything to you, and will. They’re not robbing expensive handbags – they’re punching Hitler, by stealing expensive handbags. 

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So maybe it's time for a national intervention. Back in the eras of cults, we called it deprogramming. And today, this is a cult. And like a cult, they take impressionable people and isolate them from any family or friends that hold a different view to take advantage of them. 

So where do they go after college, when they can’t date, converse, or work with half the population? And their only skills are painting crude signs and making a decent Molotov cocktail.

They become more and more reliant on the cult... Or get a job at CNN. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the December 8, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"