GREG GUTFELD: Joe Biden divides America instead of unifying

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Greg Gutfeld: This is a 'funhouse mirror to reality'

'Gutfeld!' panelists discuss President Biden's recent rhetoric concerning the MAGA movement and its supporters.

So this Labor Day, while the rest of us were barbecuing or picnicking, or if you're me, barbecuing a picnicer, what was our president up to? 

Was he busy trying to soothe the country after last week's speech? You remember that speech, right? Here's a clip. [Video] Yeah. Now, you think he might want to repair the damage he’s done, you know, with some unifying words for the holiday. But you'd be wrong. 

GREG GUTFELD: THE MEDIA BURIES REAL STORIES AND AMPLIFIES FAKE ONES

Instead, he tweeted this. He said, Old Joe says, "MAGA proposals are a threat to the very soul of the country." So he does this over a holiday. You know, I'd say he's tone deaf, but he can't hear me. So MAGA proposals. What could that mean? I mean, it kind of sounds like fun. 

DONALD TRUMP: We had one of the most successful presidencies in history, including an economy that was the envy of the world. Thank you very much. 

[Skit]

My advice to Trump because I know he watches, you got to add that to the rallies, MAGA proposals, MAGA weddings. And if things don't work out. MAGA divorces. Although the fight over who gets the Mypillow could get ugly. 

So as we face runaway crime and inflation deeper, Joe is fixated on MAGA, MAGA, MAGA. Everything is MAGA, including his gibberish. This guy spouts more rubbish than a busted trash compactor. But I wonder if his name is Joe Biden and is he still Jill Biden's husband? 

JOE BIDEN: My name is Joe Biden. I'm Jill Biden's husband. And I want to start by saying any child under 12 years of age deserves a little extra ice cream or something for doing this. This has got to be the most boring thing in the world for you honey. 

Honey, honey. Hold on there, Ponytail puller. Keep your distance. You know, it's funny, Joe's rallies are the only places where the Secret Service protects people from him. They? But look, everyone is entitled to be an idiot. 

JOE BIDEN: Look, everybody's entitled to be an idiot. 

I think he found his campaign slogan for 2024. But what about those extreme MAGA Republicans? I bet they don't just threaten our personal rights and economic security. 

JOE BIDEN: Extreme MAGA Republicans don't just threaten our personal rights and our economic security. They embrace political violence. 

Yes, they embrace political violence, says the guy who hid under a bed like a crusty sock during the George Floyd riots. He is like a crusty sock. But at least we beat pharma. 

JOE BIDEN: We beat pharma this year. We beat pharma this year, and it mattered. We're going to change people's lives. 

Oh, my God. He should tell pharma that they got beat while they're counting the trillion dollar plus in revenue they made last year, thanks to Biden. Well, at least he's done with those extreme MAGA Republicans, right? 

JOE BIDEN: The extreme MAGA Republicans in Congress have chosen to go backwards. Full of anger, violence, hate and division. 

Anger. Violence. Hate. Division. You know, I'm thinking he doesn't like us. Anyway, in the face of bad news, Joe tries to bury it with fear. He's like a guy who tries to hide a bald spot with spray paint just like Jesse Watters. So now it's a civil war over a nation's soul. But what gives, Joe? 

[Skit]

Sadly he's not the only one trying to gin up a phantom civil war. Our so-called historians have gone from historical to hysterical. First, this jackass suggested Trump should be executed for treason, which should be enough to get this dude into a loony bin. But he can't stop. 

MSNBC GUEST: Certainly there was a specter of violence throughout American history for many Americans. And in 1860, a national civil war. But you didn't have an ex-president or a president calling for it. Same thing in the 1930s, there were fascist leaders. This is the first time in American history that we have someone who used to be president of the United States. 

You got to give him credit. He hit the Civil War and Hitler in one comparison. It's a shame he left out bin Laden and Freddy Krueger. Some historian, but he's not alone. I wonder if this dope has the scoop on the ultra-right MAGA contingent. 

CNN GUEST: There is an ultra-right MAGA contingent in this country that wants to overthrow the US government, that despises our institutions, our constitutional foundations, because they believe in a deep state conspiracy and they cling to it. 

Now, I assumed historians are supposed to write about the Civil War, not encourage it. It didn't used to be a rather staid profession, someone wearing glasses, a tweed jacket with suede patches on the elbows and smoking a pipe. Now they’re as unbalanced as Paul Pelosi taking a field sobriety test. They're little girls on Twitter. What world are these people living in? Do they ever go outside or are they nocturnal like raccoons? So if you see one out during the day, it means he's rabid. But the media is with him, too. 

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MSNBC: These days, it feels like we are not just at the brink of a civil war, but that one has already begun. Trump supporters are already speaking the language of violence. 

What a funhouse mirror to reality. These freaks accuse you of civil war when you just want a civil life. No wonder they can't offer any evidence. But Joe wants you to think it's 1864, which is the last year he had a solid bowel movement. But you know what? I'll listen to Bill Burr. 

BILL BURR: People are getting their information on the Internet. So they think that a lot of people, you know, if you go on the Internet, everybody seems like they're angry. But you go outside and walk around they’re not just walking around screaming at each other. This the – I think the Internet is it's just like an abusive relationship. 

Now, he's not the first person to say this, but it's worth noting, we have entire industries invested in these psychological war games. But it's all in their minds, mainly because there's not much else in there and there's no war going on with your neighbors. Unless it's a shooting one in Chicago. 

True. There's violence on city streets, but politicians don't mind that, after all, they're surrounded by more security than the pope running into the Vatican Costco for tube socks. That was strange. I would want a tube socks so long as they're not crusty. 

Okay, so they claim it's a war for the soul of America. But we know better. We depend on the Constitution, not the soul. We aren't interested in overturning anything except the over turners, the people who want to change the Constitution, the people who use government agencies against you, leaders who use the same agencies to protect their criminal kin. 

We're not the radicals here they are, because I don't try to change things that I love, whether it's my country or my underwear. And it's true. I've been wearing these boxers since the 4th of July.