The only phrase used more than "Greg, you should get that rash checked out," is "What the hell is critical race theory, and why are we forcing it down everyone's throat?"

Like butter at Brian Stelter’s dinner table, it's spreading everywhere - from classrooms to human resources departments. Look under a rock, there it is…right next to Joy Behar.

It's even infected our military. The military used to have two objectives: kill the bad guys and blow up their stuff. To that we’ve added a third: understand White rage. 

Gen. Mark Milley, June 23: on the issue of critical race theory// I do think it is important actually for those of us in uniform to be open-minded and be widely read. // and it is important that we train and understand // I want to understand White rage, and I am white and I want to understand it // what is it that caused thousands of people to assault this building and try to overturn the constitution of the United States of America// and I personally find it offensive that we are accusing the United States military, our general officers, our commissioned and noncommissioned officers of being woke or something else because we are studying some theories that are out there.

I miss the days when generals would be nuking this nonsense not defending it. So, he wants to study CRT as if it's something rare like a rational CNN host. But you know, there's other stuff soldiers could be studying, like how to say "halt" in Chinese and Russian. Or detect actual threats to our country.

For example threats like a pernicious half-baked theory that divides a country into oppressors and oppressed, using nonsense terms like "White rage" that amount to a cultish, pseudoscientific indoctrination. "White rage" sounds like some sort of steamy hot latte you can get at Sheldon Whitehouse’s country club.

But it's scary that so many of us have never heard of this crap, and it's spreading in the military faster than a case of crabs. [You know: when those guys get out of the crate, there goes supper!]

Now, if you wanna destroy a country - the first step would be to get its military to incorporate race-based self-immolation. China couldn't have done it better if they were behind this. Maybe they are. It wouldn’t be the first deadly agent to originate in China and then go viral in the U.S.

One of the cult’s defenders, the proudly bigoted Joy Reid, finally agreed to debate the white CRT critic whom she smeared based solely on his race. I wonder if she lets him talk.

June 23, Joy Reid clip of her constantly interrupting Chris Rufo

She really seemed so confident in her beliefs, that she couldn’t let him speak. 

And of course, there's this chap, who tees off on White people so often he needs a caddy.

Michael Eric Dyson, June 23: I agree with brother Tim in speaking about the maggots, I’m sorry the MAGA that is so corrosive in this political moment // Dyson: I resent, as an intellectual, and as a Black person in America that we have taken the brunt of anti-intellectualism. We have borne the brunt of being disloyal to this nation.  And we have stood by to see mediocre mealy-mouthed snowflake White men who are incapable of taking critique who are willing to dole out infamous repudiations of the humanity of the other and yet they call us snowflakes and they are the biggest flakes of snow to hit the earth

I get it -- MAGA sounds kind of like "maggot". That’s comedy professor. This guy, who keeps calling himself an intellectual thinks that racist, ad hominem attacks against White people constitute an argument. He hates Whites more than my wife holding a pair of my boxers on laundry day.

So as the media mocks critics of a theory that the media doesn’t even understand - who's left to defend America from this scourge? The parents.

See, unlike the media -- parents have something of value to lose. Something called children. Now, I’m not a fan of children. They stink, they're loud. They get to board first on airplanes. But -- you ever see how parents act when their kids are being threatened? They’re more combative than Joe Biden being told to wake up from his nap.

Clip of parents yelling a June 22 Loudoun County school board meeting

It’s like an out-take from footloose. What you're seeing is people waking up to the woke. People rising up to fight an ideology designed to divide a country.

But in order to fight something you first have to be able to describe it, whether it’s racism or cavities. Truth is, CRT is just one beastly tentacle of White liberal supremacy. It's all based on the idea that Black people are incapable of achieving anything on their own, so why not let the superior White liberal help you. 

The c in CRT actually stands for condescension - a reoccurring theme in the Democratic Party’s platform. Voter ID is an example of this neo-racism. Woke white liberals say that Blacks can be anything - including president - yet these same Black people just can’t figure out how to get a photo ID. Something the average 17-year-old can do the moment they want to buy beer.

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But maybe it's too late. This stuff seems to be everywhere. In Cornell, there's a course that suggests black holes could be linked to racial blackness. The word "policeman" is now on a list of offensive words at Brandeis University. This is true climate change, and it's one the parents are feeling first. Cuz they're closest to the toxic fart-filled wind.

So maybe it's time for an educational tea party. Maybe it’s time to occupy the classroom. Let’s make our schools, and our military, CRT-free zones where students, soldiers can learn the full story of America. There are better ways to establish racial harmony, and true equality, in this country. 

And if children are indeed our future, it's time to keep the adults in charge for a bit longer, and let the parents take control.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the June 24, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"