Settle down, you animals. Welcome to the hoax hoax. Where in the run-up to the election our media circles the wagons around a dithering Joe Biden to convince us that what we see with our own eyes isn't real. This year's hoax hoax even comes with a whole new buzz term – "cheap fake." A word that allows the left to confuse people with deep fake without actually lying. It's like when I say my pool boys are tied up at work. Thank you. Thank you perverts, but it's now a phrase that in one day seems to be everywhere among the talking heads who impersonate journalists for a living, and not in a fun way like when I stole Brit Hume's identity to buy a human kidney on the dark web and I already had my own. Roll it.

KARINE JEAN-PIERRE SLAMMED FOR CLAIMING BIDEN VIDEOS ARE DEEPFAKES: 'DON'T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EYES!'

MSNBC, MONDAY: There is a growing and insidious trend in right wing media... To take highly misleading and selectively edited videos of President Biden... And then use those videos to spread messages virally to cast doubt on President Biden's fitness for office.

MSNBC, TUESDAY: The Republican accounts circulating many of the clips responded claiming the videos are unedited and promised to keep posting them.

CNN, TUESDAY: We've been worried for years about AI deepfakes that computer generated images are going to trick people into believing something that's totally false. Cheap fakes are a little bit simpler. They're cheap. They're just distorted out of context videos chopped up in certain ways, constructed in certain ways. That's what we're seeing.

Oh, isn't that adorable? it's almost as if they hold us to higher standards than they hold themselves. Like when Geraldo once told me a mustache would make me look like a pervert, but CBS took it a step further, attaching a "Digitally Altered Video" note to a clip featuring Joe that was actually 100% real. I guess to protect Joe. Well, okay, CBS. Try that trick here. Is this video digitally altered?

THE WHITE HOUSE, TUESDAY: My name is Joe Biden, I'm Jill Biden's husband. Thanks to all members of Congress and Homeland Security Secretary...

Hold on. It could be digitally altered. Let's just run it again and listen.

THE WHITE HOUSE, TUESDAY: My name is Joe Biden, I'm Jill Biden's husband. Thanks to all members of Congress and Homeland Security Secretary...

CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD SAYS BIDEN ‘DOING CORNY, GOOFY STUFF,’ BECAUSE HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY TALK TO HIS VOTERS

No, sorry kids. That's real. That's the leader of the free world. I wouldn't let him lead a conga line at a nursing home. Now, as we've often said, the louder the left screams about something, the greater the chance they're doing it themselves. So, as we're told that Joe is as sharp as the inside of a soup can lid, always behind closed doors of course, we're also told that all the videos of Joe stumbling and slurring are an elaborate hoax, which poses a key question. Are you ******* me? This. This has to be the lamest cover up since Dana applied black shoe polish on Jesse's bald spot. 

Remember who these anti-hoax Ghostbusters are? The same grifters who pushed the "fine people" hoax in which the media falsely claimed Trump endorsed Nazis. That was Biden's sole reason for running. Even worse, it gave Dems license to claim that 70 million people voted for a Nazi lover, which led to a Trump derangement that kept them from assessing the sad state of the country under Biden. That entire hoax is the foundation for the last four years. Think about it. They didn't. And now they want us to consider context for their guy who's clearly unfit for office. What is the larger context for an old man who can't walk? Gravity. But that was only the start of the hoaxes launched by the dementia-crats. 

KARINE JEAN-PIERRE DOUBLES DOWN ON 'CHEAP FAKE' BIDEN VIDEOS: 'SO MUCH MISINFORMATION'

Remember the drinking bleach hoax, where they claimed Trump endorsed drinking bleach to cure COVID? They practically were telling us he invented the Clorox martini. Which isn't bad with a twist of lemon. Then there was the Koi Pond hoax, in which Trump, dumping a box of fish food into a pond was supposed to be a diplomatic gaffe on par with ******** your pants when meeting the Pope. That was fake. Remember the migrant kids in cages hoax? That one had AOC crying like someone took away her crayons. Of course they left out that this program started under Obama. And honestly, my experience with kids in cages is that they grow up to be far more responsible. There was the Russian pee tape hoax. Sorry, the only president being peed on is Joe Biden by Joe Biden. There's the "Don't Say Gay Bill" hoax, which never said don't say gay. 

Apparently it was the media conflating gays with forcing sexually explicit books on kids. Then there was the Border Patrol whipping migrants hoax. Nobody was getting whipped. Those were reins to control horses. Anyone who owns a glue factory knows that. Covington kids, I can only hope their lawsuit payout means they can hire Don Lemon to wash their helicopters. Speaking of kids, remember who the media told us appeared at a football game in blackface? Turns out the kid was just sporting his team's colors. 

So whose face was red after that incident? Not the media, because even if it's not real, there's racism somewhere. How about Russian collusion? Everyone from Adam Schiff to Rachel Maddow tried to convince us that Trump was a Russian asset. But as soon as that Russian asset left office, Putin attacked Ukraine again. If Trump was a Russian spy, he'd get horrible reviews on Yelp. Then, of course, there's the laptop, when 51 Intel officers told us Hunter's computer was Russian disinfo. They were lying and they knew it. Like when my scoutmaster said we were required to share a sleeping bag. And remember this clown.

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MSNBC, OCTOBER 19, 2020: We shouldn't look at it as anything other than a Russian disinformation operation, but even if you're open to it, the substance of it is still the story of Joe Biden loving his son.

That's journalism. It's like Edward R. Murrow after being hit with a frying pan in the face. Then there's COVID, we were told it came from bat soup in a wet market. Hey, Fauci, that's the best you could come up with? You caused a catastrophe for the entire globe, and people think you're a hero. 

Millions died, and I can no longer get bat burgers. So as we enter another hoax season, remember it's not you, it's them. They're the engine behind this b.s. No wonder they have to feed "The View" so much. It's a runaway train fueled by cow ****.