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A woman removed her sister-in-law from her bridal party after the latter woman — the sister-in-law — posted an unflattering picture of the bride-to-be in her wedding dress on social media without the bride's approval.
A psychologist plus many Reddit users said the woman was right to remove the sister-in-law.
"AITA for kicking my SIL out of my bridal party for posting a pic of me in my wedding dress??" asked a Redditor named "dressofmydreams" in a July 18 post on Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" (AITA) subreddit.
In the post, the woman, 27, said she got engaged to her 34-year-old fiancé right before the start of the COVID-19 pandemic — and that her wedding had been delayed frequently.
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"But finally we have begun planning and are aiming [for] a mid-May ‘24 wedding," the woman wrote.
"Dressofmydreams" wrote that her mother asked her to include her sister-in-law in the bridal party, "because after marrying my brother, [she] moved several states away [with him] and has expressed feeling isolated without family around."
A Reddit user was praised for taking the steps to remove her sister-in-law from her bridal party after the sister-in-law posted an unflattering picture of the bride in her wedding dress. (iStock)
"I could understand, so I agreed," she said.
She later wrote that the two had "no real relationship," but that previously, they had been "cordial" toward each other.
However, the bride-to-be quickly came to regret this decision, as her sister-in-law "has been nothing short of a nightmare."
She wrote, "My bridesmaids all assisted in handwriting and sending out our wedding invitations, but the ones my SIL helped with all had zero invitation inside and instead [had] an empty envelope (I know they were hers because everyone had different shades of pink envelopes to go from)."
"I was 15 pounds too heavy … I bawled my eyes out because I knew this was the dress for me."
The sister-in-law also apparently took extra time at the makeup and hair consultation, causing the new bride to be charged extra for the time.
"But the final straw came when I found the dress of my dreams," the bride wrote.
"Only problem was I was 15 pounds too heavy for it, and I bawled my eyes out because I knew this was the dress for me."
And while all of her bridesmaids were encouraging to her — reassuring her that she had plenty of time to get in shape before the wedding to fit into the dress — her sister-in-law took a different approach to all of it.
A Reddit user found the "dress of her dreams," but she did not fit into it. Instead of helping the bride through that disappointment, the sister-in-law posted a picture of the bride "ugly crying" at the store, the post detailed. (iStock)
She posted about it on social media.
"When I got home that night I noticed on my SIL's Instagram that she has posted a picture to her Instagram of me in the dress ugly crying, and I was absolutely livid," wrote dressofmydreams.
"My fiancé has already seen the Instagram picture and I am devastated, he was not supposed to see me in the dress until our wedding day and I know so many more people have seen it," she added.
After seeing the picture, the bride-to-be wrote that she "called her and exploded, adding that she was not going to be in my bridal party and that she has ruined my wedding."
The bride later added that her brother apologized to her on his wife's behalf.
"My mother has called me and told me that even though she understands, I lacked compassion and have severely hurt my SIL's feelings," the bride wrote.
"She asked if I could find it in my heart to forgive, but I told her [that] even if I did that, I still would not include her in my party," wrote dressofmydreams.
So, the bride asked others, "AITA?"
The bride later added that her brother apologized to her on his wife's behalf — and that his wife thought Instagram "had the feature" so that "she could post privately."
The bride wrote, "When I asked why the picture was taken in the first place, he said she just wanted to capture the start of my ‘fitting into the dress' journey."
Then — "I told my brother she was not getting back into my bridal party, which he understood, but when I mentioned she could not attend my wedding, he stated that if that were the case [then] he would not come either," she added.
Traditionally, a bride does not show her wedding dress to her husband until the day of the wedding — something a Reddit user claimed her sister-in-law spoiled. (iStock)
A psychologist told Fox News Digital that the situation is complicated, and that she is not sure the sister-in-law understands the severity of what she did to the bride who shared her story on Reddit.
"Weddings always bring on drama — the problem escalates when the drama deliverers are people we care about — or don’t want to hurt their feelings," Dr. Michele Borba of California told Fox News Digital.
"My red flag is the SIL — the apologizers are the brother and the mother, but the SIL has yet to reach out to say, ‘I’m sorry,’" Borba added.
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"We’re assuming she’s aware of the problems she’s caused, but does she understand that she caused hurt feelings? These days we can’t assume."
Looking ahead, Borba noted that the sister-in-law and the new bride likely will see each other at a variety of family gatherings.
"The only way the bride can find out the SIL’s agenda is to reach out," she said.
"I’d suggest the bride make a calm phone call to the SIL. It would need to be planned," Borba added, noting that it would be a good idea for the bride to write out notes for the key points she wants to make.
The sister-in-law also made other bizarre errors during the wedding planning, such as sending blank envelopes to invitees, the bride said on Reddit. (iStock)
"You only talk at a time when you’re relaxed and then start with something like, ‘We seemed to have gotten off on the wrong foot. Let’s talk,’" said Borba.
This kind of conversation means that dressofmydreams will "save face," said Borba, and "come off looking like the peacekeeper."
Added Borba, "She also can let her brother and mother know she tried."
Reddit users largely agreed with Borba — as well as with the bride's decision to remove her sister-in-law from the wedding party.
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On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" good replies and "downvote" those they do not find helpful.
"Wow ... so SIL posted a humiliating pic of you on IG, in the wedding dress she knew you chose ... and you're the one who lacks compassion?! Sorry, it's more like SIL and your mother are both devoid of compassion for you," said user "MijiMosch" in one of the top-upvoted replies.
Reddit users declared that the bride-to-be in the drama shared on social media was "not the a--hole" in this wedding situation. (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)
"You are so NTA, but they (or anyone else who thinks what SIL did was OK) are," the same user added.
Another commenter theorized that the sister-in-law was jealous of dressofmydreams and was trying to "subtly sabotage your wedding."
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This user wrote, "But posting the photo of you crying while wearing your chosen wedding dress is beyond subtle. This was a real AH stunt. The fact that she hasn't apologized tells me she definitely wants to mess up your wedding," noted user "Paevatar" in a top comment.
Paevatar also advised the bride that perhaps a bridesmaid should be assigned to look out for the sister-in-law at the wedding — and "be prepared with a glass of red wine."
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"I wouldn't put it past SIL to wear a lacy white dress," wrote Paevatar.
"Have a wonderful wedding!"
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