Reading wedding vows privately or during the ceremony: Which is more preferred?

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If you’ve decided you want to write your own personalized vows for your wedding, there are a few different ways you can share them with your partner.

There is no right or wrong way to share your vows, and this isn’t going to look the same at every wedding.

Talk through the options with your partner to find the one that makes the most sense for you.

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Read on to uncover three different options for how you can share vows on your wedding day.

Wedding vows can be delivered in a variety of ways. Talk with your partner to figure out what the best fit is for you. (iStock)

1. Share vows in front of family and friends during the ceremony
2. Read vows privately during a wedding ‘first look’
3. Write vows down and exchange them on the morning of your wedding day

1. Share vows in front of family and friends during the ceremony

One option, and a popular one, is to read your vows in front of your family and friends at the ceremony. This is a great way to add a personal touch to your wedding ceremony and give guests a look into your love story.

Some don’t find sharing vows this way favorable, though, if they aren’t comfortable speaking in front of a large group of people.

Vows are often very sentimental, and it can be difficult to share those deep feelings with your partner in front of a large crowd.

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If you do decide to read your vows in front of your family and friends but are nervous about doing so, focus on your partner and try to shut out all the other outside distractions.

Looking your partner in the eyes can bring a sense of calm and make you feel as if it's just the two of you, even though you’re in front of a crowd.

Many people choose to exchange vows in front of their friends and family during the wedding ceremony. (iStock)

2. Read vows privately during a wedding ‘first look’

One wedding trend on the rise is having a "first look."

With a first look, the bride and groom see each other at a designated time before the ceremony, as opposed to the more traditional way of the couple to be wed not seeing each other until the ceremony.

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The first look also provides an intimate way to share vows with one another. When the couple meets before the ceremony, they can read out their vows to each other without everyone else listening.

This is also ideal for those who wish to have a shorter ceremony.

3. Write vows down and exchange them on the morning of your wedding day

If you want a way to share loving vows with your partner but don’t want to read them out loud, you can write a note to be provided to them ahead of time.

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Have your vows written out and give them to a bridesmaid or groomsman to deliver to your significant other on the morning of your wedding day. 

You can opt to share vows with your partner through the written word rather than aloud by exchanging them while you're each getting ready for the big day. (iStock)

Having the loving words of your significant other to read during a stressful morning of getting ready for the big day can provide you with a sense of calm.

Even if you do decide to read your vows out loud, whether that be private or in front of guests, sending notes back and forth to your partner can be a sentimental addition to the day.

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