New Jersey grandma shows favorites with grandkid ranking system
New York City comedian Dan LaMorte posted a viral TikTok video showing how his grandmother ranks her 10 grandchildren.
A grandmother in New Jersey isn’t hiding the fact that she has favorites.
Mary LaMorte, also known as Nanny, "ranks" her 10 grandkids on a regular basis by using a ranking board that’s hung up on a wall of her home.
The magnetic board contains photos of each of her grandchildren’s faces — and the magnetic photos can be moved up or down, from one through 10.
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LaMorte’s system went viral after her grandson, New York City-based comedian Dan LaMorte, posted a video on TikTok about how she ranks the grandkids based on their latest actions or activities — and what she thinks of them.
In the clip, Dan LaMorte joked about how he was demoted to No. 10 after showing his nanny his two new tattoos.
In an interview with Fox News Digital, the grandson and grandmother — who are based in Monmouth County — laughed about the internet’s interest in their family’s ranking board, which started as a joke gift in 2015.
"My grandson, Christopher, and his girlfriend … they made it, and they brought it over to us," Nanny LaMorte said.
The LaMorte grandparents are shown receiving the ranking board as a gift from their grandson, Christopher. (Natalie Cuomo)
"They had all the cousins’ names and pictures, and so we hung it up in our house."
"It was always an inside joke that there were favorites in the family," Dan LaMorte added. "So, that’s how the board was made."
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Nanny LaMorte broke down how her grandkids can be "promoted" or "demoted" based on different milestones and behaviors, such as having babies and coming to visit — or not visiting her often enough.
"My grandson just had a new baby, so he goes to the top because it's a very good, happy moment," she said.
"And I'm not going to even get into demotions."
"Tattoos?" she added. "That’ll do it every time."
Dan LaMorte explained that the top two spots are "pretty locked in," since one cousin is a veterinarian and the other is a dentist.
Mary LaMorte, also known as Nanny, reacts as her grandson, Dan, places his photo in the No. 1 spot on her "grandkid ranking" board. All the grandchildren are ranked from one to 10. (Natalie Cuomo)
But "not visiting as much or calling" is always a recipe for demotion, he said.
"It’s a good system to keep the family encouraged to kind of stay close together, to always make sure you're checking in," he said.
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And as the LaMorte cousins begin welcoming great-grandkids into the family, Dan LaMorte said that they won’t be adding them into the mix.
"We don’t put them on the board because we’re scared they [might] get ranked above us," he said.
The LaMorte grandchildren are ranked by their grandmother, Mary LaMorte, from one to 10 on this ranking board that she keeps on a wall of her home. (Natalie Cuomo)
"They’re younger and cuter, and they haven’t messed up as much," he also said.
Dan LaMorte said his family was surprised that the public took the ranking system "way more seriously" than he expected.
"We’ve always been a very jokey, roasty family," he said. "It’s definitely a way to keep everyone together, and it gets us all talking."
Dan and Nanny LaMorte snap a photo in front of the current ranking of the LaMorte grandchildren. (Natalie Cuomo)
A comedian of eight years, Dan LaMorte credited some of his sense of humor to his nanny.
"I was very lucky with four funny grandparents who are all still alive," he said.
"I always grew up with someone telling jokes — and Nanny would always tell you never to take yourself too seriously," he said.
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Nanny LaMorte left her grandkids with one final reminder of the threat of her all-powerful ranking board: "Just be careful!"
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