Mom-to-be 'ruins' her own gender reveal party after dad's girlfriend forces it on her

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A mom-to-be said she never wanted a gender reveal party — but then a family member reportedly forced it on her, leading to dramatic and still-ongoing family fallout.

"I'm pregnant with a baby boy due in November," wrote a woman over the weekend on social media in a posting that has elicited some 9,000 reactions and over 1,200 comments to date.

"My fiancé and I didn't care much about the sex of our child, so we didn't make too much noise about it once we found out," said the woman, sharing her story on the Reddit page known as AITA ("Am I the a--hole"). 

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"The only people we'd informed were our parents, their partners and our siblings," wrote "ThrowawayGenReveal" in her post.  

However, she said, "prior to this, my father's girlfriend of three years had been asking me about my plans for a gender reveal party. I've always been clear about not wanting one," the woman added.

"I don't like gender reveals. Never have, never will," wrote a woman on Reddit as she related her personal story. "I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion, either." (iStock)

But "when I announced my son's gender to them, she expressed disappointment that I hadn't changed my mind about a party," she said.

Added the woman, "I don't like gender reveals. Never have, never will. I prefer baby showers, which I think feel more about the actual child. I never tried to hide that opinion, either."

The mom-to-be said she "stood there in shock."

Days later, the woman went on, "my father's girlfriend invited me over for tea at their apartment (my dad was out of town). When I got there, about a dozen people popped out of hiding to surprise me. There were pink and blue decorations everywhere, which made what was going on pretty clear."

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The mom-to-be said she "stood there in shock." 

Then "my father's girlfriend excitedly told me they were throwing me a surprise gender reveal party."

The dad's girlfriend apparently "had taken it upon herself to order a cake with colorful frosting, decorate the apartment and invite a bunch of people over," wrote the woman.

 "I looked over at everyone and said, 'It's a boy. You guys can go home now.'" (iStock)

She went on about the surprise gender party, "The guests included her mother (whom I don't get along with), some of her friends, my MIL (not my mom) and four of my friends. As I later found out, my MIL and friends had been told I'd changed my mind about gender reveals."

But, the woman asserted, "I had not."

"My father called me, furious that I'd ruined the party."

She added that as she stood in the doorway, "I looked over at everyone and said, 'It's a boy. You guys can go home now.'"

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And she left "without looking back," she wrote.

"Hours later," she related, "my father called me, furious that I'd ruined the party. He said his girlfriend had put a lot of effort, money and love into planning it, and I should have shown respect and gratitude for it. Apparently, she hadn't stopped crying since I left."

"Even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place, they're insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour, or at least cut the cake." (iStock)

Added the mom-to-be in her post, "It's been almost a week, and they're both still upset. Even after I explained I never wanted that party in the first place, they're insisting I could have sucked it up for an hour, or at least cut the cake."

So she asked others on the platform if she was wrong for what she did and the way she still feels. 

"Maybe she should have gone a step further and not even invited you, since this party was all about what she wanted."

In the top "upvoted" comment on Reddit about the situation — earning some 11,000 votes — a writer said that the mom-to-be was not wrong for her actions and her emotions.

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"This smacks of her [the dad's girlfriend] trying to ‘prove’ that she cares about you more than your mom, especially seeing as how either your mom wasn’t invited or she turned down the invitation to respect your wishes," wrote one person.

"You set a boundary and removed yourself the second you saw it was smashed." (Tiffany Hagler-Geard/Bloomberg via Getty Images)

"She doesn’t seem to get that the way to prove she cares about you at all is to actually listen to what you want and don’t want," the same person added.

Said someone else, "You made yourself very clear in how you felt about gender reveal parties. Your dad's girlfriend completely and deliberately disregarded that and disrespected you."

This particular commenter added, "So sorry the party she planned for herself was ruined. Maybe she should have gone a step further and not even invited you, since this party was all about what she wanted."

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And yet another person — summing up the feelings of many others — wrote, "You set a boundary and removed yourself the second you saw it was smashed."

This person also noted, "If you went in, it would have been used as 'see it wasn't that bad' or ‘why are you complaining you went to the party’ in the future whenever you tried to use that as an example of a crossed boundary."

"While arranging a party for someone can be a lovely gesture, it is not appropriate when someone explicitly tells you that they do not want a party."

Fox News Digital reached out to a psychologist for comment and insight. 

Said Dr. Kathy Nickerson, a clinical psychologist based in California, "Nearly everything related to someone's pregnancy and child should be up to that person to decide. If an expectant parent does not want to have a gender reveal party, that is their right and should be respected."

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She added that the expectant mother "made it clear she did not want a gender reveal party and that wish was disregarded. Arranging a surprise party was disrespectful to her and lying to her friends to get them there was manipulative."

Nickerson also said, "While arranging a party for someone can be a lovely gesture, it is not appropriate when someone explicitly tells you that they do not want a party. In my opinion, throwing this party was hurtful and selfish."

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She said she believes that the poster of the story — the mom-to-be — "handled herself well and I am proud of her for sticking up for herself. It's unfortunate that the author's father is angry at her for standing up for herself in an uncomfortable situation; I'd think he would be unhappy with his girlfriend for disrespecting his daughter and disregarding her explicit wishes."

Finally, the mom-to-be "has no obligation to show respect and gratitude for something she did not want, did not ask for, and specifically asked not to happen. I do not think she owes anyone an apology; it is she who is owed an apology."