Oh, baby.
A doctor faced major backlash after posting in a Reddit forum asking advice on whether he was in the wrong for calling his pregnant wife “lazy.”
“I yelled at her that being pregnant does not automatically make you disabled and unable to do anything,” the anonymous doctor wrote in the post.
The couple, both 32-year-old doctors, as the husband explains, are expecting their first child together — and he is not happy with how his wife has “become very different.”
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“I want to support my wife as much as possible...but ever since we found out we were expecting, she has suddenly become very different. She lost interest in work, we had recent fights about her wanting to quit medicine and stop working entirely to focus on caring for the kid. She no longer helps out around the home. I have to do all the laundry, cooking, dishwashing, trash, bathroom cleaning because she says she is tired all the time,” he writes, before going on to say that she still goes out with her co-workers and friends, or watches TV at home.
The doctor said he makes $550G a year and shoulders 90 percent of the couple’s bills by working 55-60 hours a week as an attending physician. In the post he said his wife continues to work 30 hours a week finishing her fellowship training, bringing in $60G a year, while also being pregnant.
“Add also that I am an emergency medicine physician and the work is stressful and can burn you out easily. Note also that my wife walks to work because she hates driving so I agreed to it before we moved here for her fellowship training,” he said in the post.
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It is unclear where the couple lives, but they seem to be financially set, as some Redditors pointed out.
Though the doctor seemed to be looking for understanding for his actions – which stemmed from his wife spending “$1200 on a ridiculous Uppababy stroller without checking” with him first – he did not get much sympathy from those on the forum.
"Yes, you make 90% of the money, but she's shouldering 100% of GROWING A NEW HUMAN IN HER BODY..."
“You need to give your wife a serious apology and take a more constructive approach to problem solving," one person defending the wife wrote. "She works 30 hours a week and is pregnant, is flooded with hormones and is probably a bit depressed, losing her drive for medicine with all the nesting instinct. I don't know how far along she is, but she probably has some symptoms, and it can be a bit physically exhausting. I suppose it's possible she's just 'being lazy,' but it doesn't sound like it.”
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“Also, he makes $550K a year, by himself. That stroller is not expensive to him percentage-wise at all,” another said.
“Look at your income, hire a housekeeper,” one said about the poster’s concern over having to do all the housekeeping.
“[You’re the a--hole] for exploding on her like that. Yes, you make 90% of the money, but she's shouldering 100% of GROWING A NEW HUMAN IN HER BODY, plus the pain suffering and permanent changes to her health that will happen as she goes along. Oh, and the actual risk of dying during childbirth,” a commenter wrote.
“The fact that we have to explain to him, a doctor, that pregnancy is hard on the body is...really really scary,” another added.
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In an update to the post, the doctor tried again to endear himself to readers by discussing his difficult commute that can be “about 3 hours total each [workday],” although it did not seem that he earned himself more supporters.