How to cope with having a loved one in hospice care

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What you don’t know about hospice care

Common hospice myths

Dealing with a loved one in hospice care is a situation that no one would choose.

It can take an extreme emotional toll and be a time filled with overwhelming stress.

Preparing to say goodbye to someone you love is a dreadful thing to have to do. 

When going through difficult times like this, don't go at it alone. 

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Take advantage of those offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, whether that's family members, friends, therapists or support groups. 

Here are ways you can cope with the immense pain felt when a loved one is in hospice care. 

If a loved one enters hospice care, that can take an immense emotional toll on the family. (iStock)

1. Find avenues of support
2. Allow time to yourself
3. Be prepared for what is coming
4. Help keep loved ones as comfortable as possible
5. Spend time journaling

1. Find avenues of support

It's easy to curl up and hide from the world when going through grief like this, but you shouldn't go through a situation like this alone. 

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Take advantage of the support offered to you, in whatever way it's presented. 

Talk things out with friends and family members. If someone in your life offers to cook a meal for you, help with chores around the house or assist with school drop-offs and pickups for your kids, take them up on the offer. 

It's OK to accept help from others in a time of need and not feel guilty for doing so. 

Talking to a therapist during a time like this is another good way to speak about your feelings and to be given different techniques to deal with the way you feel. 

There are also many support groups you can join that are filled with those who find themselves in similar situations. 

Don't go through this hard time alone. Lean on those around you in your time of need. (iStock)

2. Allow time to yourself

Give yourself the grace in this time to still do things for you, even if it's just small activities. 

This could be taking time alone to read a new book or watching a show that brings you comfort. 

Putting your energy into different activities will help to alleviate stress with your focus on other things. 

3. Be prepared for what is coming

As difficult as it is, you'll have to get in the mindset of knowing what is coming. 

When someone is in hospice care, it means that the person's life is coming to an end.

Many people who have a loved one in hospice care experience something called anticipatory grief, according to Omni Care Hospice's website. 

This is "the grief that a person begins to feel as something negative is approaching, such as a terminal conclusion of someone's decline in health." 

Omni Care Hospice lists several symptoms of anticipatory grief. 

Many feel anticipatory grief when a loved one is put in hospice care. (iStock)

• Loneliness
• Sadness
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Fatigue
• Inability to concentrate
• Guilt
• Denial
• Emotional numbness
• Tearfulness
• Acceptance

All of these symptoms can be experienced when someone prepares for the end of a loved one's life. 

If you experience any of these symptoms, talk to someone close to you or a mental health professional to help work through the complicated emotions you are feeling. 

4. Help keep loved ones as comfortable as possible

There are physical and emotional needs that are going to be needed by an individual nearing the end of their life. They may be experiencing pain, breathing problems, dry skin and sensitivity to temperature, according to the National Institute on Aging. 

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Helping your loved one in hospice be as comfortable as possible can also provide solace for you as you spend time with them. 

If the individual has trouble breathing, the source recommends doing things like raising the head of the bed, opening a window and using a humidifier.

For dry skin, you can help your loved one by applying alcohol-free lotion and put a damp cloth over their eyes. You can also put lip balm or petroleum jelly on their lips. 

There are several things you can do to help your loved one in hospice care feel comfortable while you are spending time. (iStock)

Keep temperature sensitivity in mind, the source says, and provide more or fewer blankets when necessary. 

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To assist with their mental and emotional needs, the National Institute on Aging recommends doing things like providing physical contact, such as holding hands or a light massage, playing low music, communicating if possible and reading to them. 

5. Spend time journaling

Journaling can be an extremely therapeutic way to get your thoughts out. 

It can be helpful to write your thoughts in the form of letters, to help you express your feelings for your loved one without saying them out loud.

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