Over-the-top weddings are sending some guests into debt
A 12-time bridesmaid who attended 18 weddings in 2022 shared how social media pressure and inflation has played into the over-the-top wedding trend.
A social media debate is underway about whether brides should be asking their wedding guests to fulfill costly favors — such as baking a cake for the big day — in place of gifts after a bride’s specific inquiry was shared online for discussion.
A Reddit user uploaded a Facebook post screenshot — which an anonymous bride-to-be reportedly wrote in a wedding planning group — to the "Wedding Shaming" subreddit, a 567,000-member forum where Reddit users shame wedding ideas, themes and social interactions.
The anonymous bride appears to have asked members of the Facebook group if she’s wrong for being upset that a friend she tasked with making her wedding cake is asking if she’ll receive compensation for the ingredients.
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"I've asked my friend to make the wedding cake for me for 75+ people and she's come back asking if I'm contributing to the cost of the cake, as it's going to cost her $300+ to make it," the bride’s post began, according to the uploaded screenshot.
The post continued, "Am I wrong to be offended that she's not gifting me the cake as a wedding present?"
Reddit users are "shaming" an anonymous bride who asked a Facebook group if she's wrong for feeling "offended" about her friend's inquiry about whether she'll contribute funds to cover wedding cake ingredients. The friend is reportedly baking the cake. (iStock)
The screenshotted post was uploaded to the "Wedding Shaming" subreddit on Wednesday, Aug. 23, with a "greedy" label.
What do wedding experts think?
Megan Nova, a New York City-based wedding planner and writer of the Awesome Bridal wedding planning blog, told Fox News Digital that the anonymous bride shouldn’t be mad at her friend for asking about ingredient cost contributions.
"Wedding tradition and etiquette dictates that the bride’s family caters for the wedding cake costs at the reception," she said.
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Nova reasoned that the bride’s friend may not be able to afford to make such a large cake for free.
"The bride and her friend can come to a peaceful resolution by openly communicating about the issue, actively listening to each other and reviewing options to find solutions that benefit each one of them," said Nova.
Personal finance and wedding etiquette experts agree that $50 is an acceptable starting point for wedding gifts — but some guests can spend up to $200 or more if they so desire. (iStock)
Personal finance and etiquette experts previously told FOX Business that $50 is an acceptable starting point for wedding gifts, and guests can choose to spend more depending on their finances and their relationship with the bride or groom.
Reddit users' consensus?
Over 510 Reddit users upvoted the post and dozens of users commented that they think the anonymous bride is being unreasonable for wanting her friend to cover all the cake-making costs.
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Several commenters pointed out that the friend only asked the bride to pay for cake ingredients and not the labor it will take to bake and decorate the wedding cake.
"Sure, discounts are nice, but your friends have bills to pay just like everyone else."
"If someone was a real friend, they would want to pay you for your time. As well as skills," one Reddit user wrote. "I don't like how people feel entitled to free services because their friend has a skill set that could be useful."
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"Sure, discounts are nice, but your friends have bills to pay just like everyone else," another Reddit user wrote.
"If I hire a friend to do something for me (which I don’t often, but I have), I pay full price and I’m happy to do so."
Most Reddit users claim they'd be willing to pay their friends for completing a wedding service for them. (iStock)
One Reddit user questioned if the anonymous bride would be willing to spend $300 on a wedding gift for her friend if their roles were reversed.
The Reddit user guessed the bride "probably" wouldn’t be generous enough to purchase a $300 wedding gift or provide a $300 wedding service.
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"Why should she expect her friend to spend $300 on ingredients? We’re not even talking about the value of her time and skill here," the Reddit user wrote.
Brides and wedding guests who are completing DIY tasks should work together to find mutually beneficial solutions, said one wedding planner in New York City (not pictured). (iStock)
Another Reddit user wrote that she was "gifted a cake by a friend" who "never made a cake before," but offered to do it anyway.
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"I offered to pay her for the time and supplies. She declined and made it the wedding gift from her and her husband," the Reddit user went on.
"At no point did I assume anything would be done as a gift or for free. It should never be assumed."
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