Ha! And everybody else is still paying to drink their coffee. Amateurs!

A company aiming to support small-business ventures is currently looking for a coffee-swilling candidate to drink cappuccinos, espressos, or whatever pumpkin-spice things they desire in exchange for $1,000.

STARBUCKS EXPLAINS WHY YOU CAN'T ORDER THIS ONE DRINK IN A 'VENTI' SIZE

Can you refrain from Starbucks or Caribou Coffee for a month?

Can you refrain from Starbucks or Caribou Coffee for a month? (iStock)

The only catch? You can’t get your caffeine fix from any “corporate coffee shops,” like Starbucks or Dunkin’.

“Are you a self-professed Starbucks junkie? We want to pay you $1,000 to ditch corporate coffee joints for a full month and frequent locally owned coffee shops instead,” writes Business.org in the job description.

That said, the perfect candidate should be a “Starbucks addict” (or “Starbucks junkie”), per Business.org. According to the company, the aim of the position is to document “the cost, benefits, and potential setbacks of moving to a buy-local lifestyle for your daily coffee fix,” presumably from the perspective of someone who visits corporate coffee chains regularly.

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Job responsibilities include visiting at least eight locally-owned coffee shops over the course of the month, photographing your orders, documenting “key metrics” and writing up summaries of your visits. Business.org will even advance you some funds (25 percent of the $1,000 total pay) to purchase your coffee drinks, with the remainder paid out at the end of the month.

The site also stipulated there are “no drug tests or background checks required,” which is perhaps why they’re so keen to hire Starbucks "addicts" and "junkies." (In other words, the type of person who would order a Venti Nitro Cold Brew, if only Starbucks would allow it.)

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Business.org is accepting applications through Sept. 30.