Kelsea Ballerini questioned music career after watching hometown friends living in Knoxville

Kelsea Ballerini is gearing up to release her fifth studio album, but admits that she once had doubts about continuing with her music career.

During a new interview with Women's Health magazine, the 31-year-old country star recalled feeling burned out after years of touring and seeing the contrast between her lifestyle and those of her friends in her hometown of Knoxville, Tennessee.

"I’d been on the road for four years, and I was exhausted," the "Miss Me More" singer said. "I was married [to Australian country singer Morgan Evans], and I was looking around at all my friends who have 9-to-5 jobs and still live in my hometown, and I was realizing I felt really removed, really different."

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Kelsea Ballerini revealed that she once contemplated stepping away from her music career. (Terry Wyatt/Getty Images)

She continued, "I was starting to have questions like, ‘What is driving me? Is missing Mom’s birthday worth it? Am I okay? And am I happy?’"

Ballerini told Women's Health that the uncertainties that she began to have about her future at age 24 led her to seek out professional help.

The singer had been to therapy twice before, but not by her own volition. She was sent to court-ordered therapy at age 12 after her parents' divorce. A couple of years later, she was mandated to attend counseling sessions after witnessing a school shooting at her Knoxville's Central High School.

"I couldn’t answer these fundamental questions I should have been able to answer, so I got back into therapy, by my choice, and fell in love with it," she told Women's Health.

In 2017, Ballerini performed at Central High School, where she witnessed a school shooting when she was 14. (John Shearer/Getty Images for Tennessee Department of Tourist Development)

During a 2017 interview with Parade, Ballerini explained that when she was growing up, she believed that a professional career in music was out of reach for her and that she would most likely never leave her hometown. 

"I was from Knoxville, and I always thought I was going to stay there and be a vet," she said. "I didn't think that you could just choose to be a singer and go pursue it and be [the next] Carrie Underwood."

 "I was starting to have questions like, ‘What is driving me? Is missing Mom’s birthday worth it? Am I okay? And am I happy?’"

— Kelsea Ballerini

Ballerini started writing songs at the age of 12 and began dreaming of moving to Nashville after being inspired by Taylor Swift, who debuted as a country singer when she was 16. 

"I was like, ‘Oh, my gosh. She moved to Nashville. She's young like me. Maybe I could do that, too,'" she recalled.

Ballerini and her mother moved to Music City three years later. After high school, she went on to attend Nashville's Lipscomb University but dropped out after two years to focus on music. In 2014, at age 19, Ballerini landed a publishing deal with Black River Entertainment, and the label signed her to a recording contract later that year. 

In 2015, she skyrocketed to fame after releasing her debut studio album "The First Time," which featured three songs that topped the Billboard Country Airplay chart and was later certified platinum. 

The singer rose to fame in 2015. (Cooper Neil/ACM2015/Getty Images for dcp)

Since then, Ballerini has released four albums that reached number one on the Top 10 of Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart, with 2017's "Unapologetcally" and 2020's "kelsea" both earning gold certifications. The singer's accolades include two Academy of Country Music Awards, two Country Music Association Awards, one CMT award and four Grammy Award nominations.

Ballerini previously shared that the music video for her 2020 song with Kenny Chesney, which was titled "Half of My Hometown," depicted "what my life would be like" if she had never left Knoxville in the music video.

"I love when a video can kind of make the song have a new meaning and bring a new life to it," she said in an interview with People magazine. "And we wanted to do that with this one, just because it is so personal."

Ballerini continued, "It feels very comfortable and very easy to play, because I think it's a very realistic picture of what my life would be like had I stayed."

Kelsea Ballerini moved to Nashville after being inspired by Taylor Swift.  (John Shearer/Getty Images for the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum)

"I moved when I was 15 to Nashville, and I couldn't wait to leave. All I wanted was to go to Nashville and figure out how to be a country music singer" she recalled. "So in my mind, Knoxville was the place that was holding me back."

However, Ballerini told People that she now believed she "wouldn't be the artist or the songwriter or the person I am if I hadn't had those 15 years here."

"I have a huge appreciation and respect for it now," the "Peter Pan" hitmaker said. "I love my hometown."

"It brings joy to my heart to know that I did leave, right? I got to chase this dream and that I'm getting to come back and like appreciate the life that I maybe could have had had I stayed," she said. 

"It's a very interesting juxtaposition, but it makes me happy," Ballerini added.

Ballerini reflected on how her life would have been if she had never left Knoxville, in her 2020 song "Half of My Hometown." (Neilson Barnard/Getty Images for The Recording Academy)

In February 2023, Ballerini released her EP "Rolling Up The Welcome Mat," which explored her highly publicized divorce from Evans. The former couple tied the knot in 2017 but split in 2022.

During a September 2023 interview with Time magazine, Ballerini attributed her success to "being wired like a workhorse." She told the outlet that she would be taking time off from focusing on her career to "live a life worth writing about."

In June, NBC announced that Ballerini would join the coaching panel for the 27th season of the singing competition series "The Voice" alongside Adam Levinie, John Legend and Michael Bublé.

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Morgan Evans and Kelsea Ballerini married in 2017 and divorced in 2022. (John Shearer)

Though Ballerini has previously appeared on "The Voice" as a coach during The Comeback Stage of season 15, a battle advisor for Kelly Clarkson's team during season 16, and temporarily filled in for Clarkson in season 2020, she told Women's Health that she was nervous about her new full-time role on the show, which premiered last month.

"I’ve gotten to the point where, if people don’t like my music, I’m like, ‘Fair enough. Not everything is for everyone,’" Ballerini said. 

"It was the first time I was putting myself in a position where people are just not going to like me," she added.

Ballerini consulted her therapist about her anxieties, and they decided that her approach would be to watch her episodes, assess her own performance and request notes from the producers. 

However, the singer planned to avoid scouring the Internet and social media for negative reactions and criticism.

"There’s still that little know-it-all in me that has to know the full scope of it," Ballerini told Women's Health. "It's now on me to choose the right [course of action]."

Ballerini is a coach on the 27th season of "The Voice." (Trae Patton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

Ballerini is also set to make her acting debut, guest-starring in the ABC medical drama series "Doctor Odyssey." She told the outlet that she was also anxious about the gig but decided to challenge herself.

"[Acting] was one of the things that I was like, ‘Run toward the things that scare you!’" she said. "What if I suck on TV? Then you know what I do? I’ll go put on my glitter and go back onstage. That’s always going to be home base."

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Ballerini said that she sought advice from her boyfriend Chase Stokes, who stars on the Netflix teen drama "Outer Banks." The pair first sparked dating rumors in January 2023, and Ballerini confirmed their romance a month later.

Kelsea Ballerini shares a kiss with boyfriend Chase Stokes at the 2024 CMT Music Awards. (Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for CMT)

The singer told Women's Health that she has previously helped Stokes when he has taken on acting projects that have musical elements.

Speaking of their relationship, Ballerini explained, "Chase is also a Virgo, and we’re very kindred in 90 percent of the ways."

"It’s been such a beautiful journey to figure out how to be in a relationship with someone who’s truly a mirror of you," she added.

Ballerini is set to release her fifth studio album "Patterns" on Oct. 25. She told Women's Health that the record is a "love letter to self-assessment" and a reflection of her mindset as she comes into her 30s.

"I crammed so much life into my 20s, and I’ve done a lot of work to be able to stand by all that life, learn a lot from it, and appreciate all of it for what it’s been," she said.

Ballerini and Stokes have been dating since 2023. (Jay Conlon)

She told the outlet that "Patterns" is "about finding the ones that serve you and appreciating and celebrating those, and then finding the ones that don’t—where they come from and how they relate to your interpersonal relationships."

The singer explained that the album will also explore how she and Stokes have settled into their relationship. 

"It’s taken a lot of really intentional work, and you hear that throughout this new album," she said. 

"It’s not not a record full of love," Ballerini noted. "It is, but it’s the nuance of it, and it’s the in-between moments. How do we get to the happy-go-lucky, mushy-gushy phase? This is the process, but it took a lot of sorting through baggage together. I think we’re both really proud of that."

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After her painful divorce, the singer explained how she has reached a place of contentment and self-empowerment as she moves forward breaking old patterns and creating new, healthier ones.

"I’m happy, and I’m in control of that happiness," she told Women's Health. "I feel grateful to have the people in my life that I do and to be able to put out a record on this level and play the rooms that I’ve always wanted to and also go home to my dogs."