Joanna Gaines on what makes her 'second-guess, well, everything'

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Joanna Gaines is "pausing" to reflect on her "busy life," an effort she admits is "uncomfortable." 

"I’m a fixer, a refiner—and in some ways I’ve made a career out of sharpening the instinct that draws my eye toward the off-balance and out of sync," Gaines wrote for the fall issue of Magnolia Journal on Monday in a column titled "A Note from Jo: The Sound of Harmony" that was first shared with People magazine. "The part that can be harder is the pausing."

The former "Fixer Upper" star, who runs the Magnolia home brand with husband Chip Gaines, continued, "Turning my gaze inward. Looking curiously at the chaos of my own busy life to try to create some order or fine-tune a few too-familiar ways of living that may no longer serve me. Because, while self-reflection is healthy and good and necessary, it can be uncomfortable. It can be quiet. It can go slow. It can make you second-guess, well, everything."

She admitted that she is forced to reflect in each of her quarterly columns for the magazine, "but left to my own devices, I’m not convinced I’d volunteer to tune in to my yeses and nos long enough to see if more thought would have me choose differently. I’m more likely to tell myself that the timing is no good now and that I’ll have more capacity once we get through this busy season or after the next project crosses the finish line."

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Joanna Gaines is "pausing" to reflect on her "busy life," an effort she admits is "uncomfortable."  (Nathan Congleton/NBC via Getty Images)

Gaines said sometimes she feels she's "living in a held breath. Days when I wonder whether my minutes and hours really reflect the things I value most. But: attune. This theme we’re exploring begs for movement, for interruption. It reminds us that it’s OK to adjust and readjust the rhythms and choices that have become our way of life if the promise is more peace, more days of feeling at ease within the life we’re scripting. Tuning in gives us permission to pause the background music and rewrite which notes come next."

Gaines, 46, has been married to business partner Chip Gaines for more than 20 years, and they share five children: Drake, 19, Ella, 17, Duke, 16, Emmie, 14, and Crew, 6. 

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Last week, Gaines shared a photo of her hugging her oldest son as he headed back to college. 

Last week, Gaines shared a photo of her hugging her oldest son as he headed back to college.  (Joanna Gaines)

"Second year in college... saying goodbye doesn't get easier," she wrote. "Lots of love to all the parents sending their kids off to school this season."

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She and Chip first discussed what it was like watching Drake move out of their home to People in November 2023, after he moved out for his first year of college. They shared that it shifted their perspective on raising their younger children, as it helped them to realize time goes by quicker than they thought.

"Something about Drakey going off to college really does make you shift your attention to Crew, who's on the tail end of all this," Chip told People. "And you're kind of living very intentionally because you know that — which is so hard to believe when you're holding a 1-year-old — 'Oh, this time's going to go by quickly.’"

Earlier in the month, she also shared a montage from what appeared to be a beach vacation with her family. "Fun in the St. Lucia sun," she wrote. 

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Gaines said in her column that she’s forcing herself to "pause purposefully, for the next little while."

"For me, it begins with pulling back in some areas at the office. Because, the truth is, I love to work. Discipline, for me, isn’t getting to the office by 8 a.m. Discipline, for me, is going in late," she admitted. 

She said the journal’s fall theme is "attune."

Chip and Joanna Gaines run Magnolia Network.  (Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Warner Bros. Discovery)

"This time of year feels rich with acknowledgement," she added. "Fall stirs the leaves, the wind, the dust beneath. The trees outside make a show of tuning in to the natural shifting of things, shaking off what’s worth shedding, undeterred by a more stripped-down posture of living. Nature, one of my favorite teachers, understands what we sometimes forget: Refining what we know is how we grow."

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She added, "This season, I’m going to follow nature’s lead. I’ll look to the trees and their changing leaves, and I’ll tune in to what’s worth shedding and worth keeping. I’ll pause, with purpose, until the new melody that holds me starts to sound like harmony—when life flows beautifully and it feels like home again."