Ben Affleck admits Jennifer Lopez romance forced him to make major compromises: 'A reluctant participant'

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s relationship is back under a microscope in a new documentary, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," and it appears Affleck is still reluctantly dealing with the public scrutiny that followed the couple when they first got together in the early 2000s.

The documentary follows Lopez as she works on not only her new album, "This is Me…Now," but also the high-concept music film "This is Me…Now: A Love Story."

In the early minutes of the film, Lopez shares that her new music was inspired by a collection of handwritten love letters from Affleck, which she showed to songwriters and musicians working with her.

The Oscar winner found irony in making a record about "the greatest love story never told" by telling it so publicly.

Ben Affleck expressed some of his concerns about privacy in Jennifer Lopez's new documentary, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told." (Gilbert Flores/Variety via Getty Images)

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"Jen was really inspired by this experience, which is how artists do their work," Affleck said. "They get inspired by their personal life, it moves you. I know as a writer and director I certainly do the same things. But things that are private I had always felt are sacred and special in part because they’re private.

"So, this was something of an adjustment for me."

At a screening earlier this week for the documentary, Lopez said her husband was a "reluctant participant" in the whole thing. 

According to People, she told the audience during a Q&A, "The other scary part was that I was bringing into it my husband, who was kind of the reluctant participant, silent participant and all.

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When he learned a collection of love letters he wrote for Lopez were being shown as inspiration for her new album, he was hesitant about it because "things that are private I had always felt are sacred and special, in part because they’re private."  (Rodin Eckenroth/FilmMagic)

"I just said to him during one of the parts of the movie, I was like, 'Is this weird?' He's like, 'Yes.' I said, 'You're crazy.' I told him he was crazy, not me. But I know that I'm a crazy one. I get that part." 

Despite describing him as reluctant, she later said Affleck was the one who encouraged the documentary.

"It wasn't my idea to photograph every single moment of doing this," she said. "To be honest, when we started making the film, it just kind of got more and more bizarre, and my husband, who had a front seat to the whole thing really, was the one who was like, 'We should be capturing this,' and he brought on this amazing team and that's kind of how it happened."

Though he’s supportive of Lopez’s vision and effort throughout the documentary, he still admits his hesitancy with having the spotlight on their relationship.

Lopez acknowledged her husband's discomfort with being her muse for her new album and movie but said he also suggested following the process, which became the documentary. (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

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"It’s the first time she’s done something as an artistic form of expression that was purely for the sake of what she had to express. It was about bringing out the things she felt inside just wanted to say," Affleck said. 

"And I don’t really love being in the making of documentary about my personal life, which is why I’m so relieved that it’s not really — it seems like I might be in this, but not really. I was worrying for no reason. The movie wasn’t about me. It was about the ability to love yourself. And that love story is a lot f---ing harder to find than prince charming."

Celebrity matchmaker Alessandra Conti notes that there's been a shift in how the public engages with famous couples.

"Navigating the complexities of fame and having a very public relationship was challenging back in the early 2000s, but now it has reached a different level. Every couple who is remotely in the public eye experiences an intense level of scrutiny, especially with the dawn of social media," she told Fox News Digital.

Affleck said he didn't "love being in the making of a documentary about my personal life" but realized it wasn't about him.  (Robin L Marshall/WireImage)

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"However, J.Lo and Ben have kept a relatively low profile when it comes to social media, and although they are supporting each other at professional events, they have kept the intimate details of their relationship private. This is a smart strategy, and as long as their privacy is maintained, it is a sustainable situation for him and J.Lo.

"Ben also needs to understand that whoever he dates he will be scrutinized in the public eye. This is one of the trade-offs of fame."

In the documentary, the couple admitted they "just crumbled under the pressure" of being a tabloid phenomenon, and it put a strain on their relationship, leading them to call off their 2003 wedding three days before it was supposed to happen.

 "I had a very firm sense of boundaries initially around the press, while Jen, I don’t think, objected to it the way I did. I very much did object to it," Affleck said. "Getting back together, I said, 'Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media. And then I realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like, you’re going to marry a boat captain, you want to like the water. We’re just two people with kind of different approaches, trying to learn to compromise."

Affleck says in the documentary he is "trying to learn to compromise" when it comes to his feelings about social media in his relationship with Lopez. (Christopher Polk/Golden Globes 2024/Golden Globes 2024 via Getty Images)

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Affleck’s own relationship with publicity has definitely shifted in recent years.

The "Good Will Hunting" star became a recurring meme whenever he popped up in paparazzi photos, often looking grim and a tad miserable, peaking with his apparent bored expression at the Grammys in 2023. 

Affleck went viral for his grim expression during the 2023 Grammys. (Johnny Nunez)

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During the documentary, Jane Fonda asked Lopez about the image, and Lopez reassured Fonda and viewers that nothing was wrong at the event.

Lopez laughs it off and said Affleck had joked, "‘I’ve become the symbol of the beleaguered man.’" 

Affleck was also often seen carrying Dunkin' iced coffee, prompting fans to joke about the Oscar winner being a spokesperson for the brand.

That joke became reality in 2023 with Affleck directing and starring in a Super Bowl ad for the company, with Lopez making an appearance.

Affleck has been a fan of Dunkin' since he was a kid growing up in Massachusetts.  (Getty Images)

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He followed that up this year with a star-studded Dunkin' ad for the Super Bowl, recruiting not only Lopez, but his longtime pal Matt Damon and NFL legend Tom Brady.

"This is a brilliant juxtaposition, which was really brought home, when Affleck doubled down on his Boston roots in the Dunkin' ad with Damon and Brady," Doug Eldridge of Achilles PR told Fox News Digital.

"Whether the persona is authentic or artistically created, it works and to great success. Affleck's bona fides speak for themselves, but when you reach a certain level, nothing endears you to your core fans — much less, wins over your most ardent critics — like being able to poke fun at yourself. While this wasn't cringe-worthy self-deprecation, Affleck absolutely threaded the needle in the Dunkin' spots, and in so doing, gave a quiet wink to the critics in the cheap seats. It was a brilliant brand move in all respects."

Conti agreed, saying, "He is now ‘in on the joke,’ and parlayed his paparazzi pictures with his Dunkin' to becoming an actual Dunkin' spokesperson with a massive Super Bowl ad. It's almost like something clicked for him, and he is now embracing his fame instead of feeling shame for it."

Affleck and Lopez are collaborating again on an upcoming biopic about wrestler Anthony Robles.  (Michael Buckner/WWD)

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Lopez and Affleck’s recent collaborations include not only Dunkin' ads and the documentary and musical film and documentary, but also an upcoming film about wrestler Anthony Robles, who was born with one leg.

Affleck is remaining behind the camera as a producer with Damon, while Lopez will play a role in the film.

He told CBS News last year he was looking forward to the collaboration between himself, Lopez and Damon, saying, "What fun, what a joy to do something with her, see her be great, go to work with your wife, go to work with your best friend."

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"Because ultimately, like, your work becomes the lion's share of what defines your life, in terms of the time you spend. And if you don't like who you're working with, and if you have difficulty or trouble at work, I think it's one of the things that can really cause depression, anxiety and pain for people."

The couple had previously collaborated on the film "Gigli," where they met on set in 2002, and the music video for Lopez’s song "Jenny From the Block," both of which faced backlash at the height of their "Bennifer" era.

Affleck and Lopez are using the public attention to put the focus on their work instead of their relationship, according to Doug Eldridge of Achilles PR.  (John Salangsang/Variety via Getty Images)

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But this time, the teaming up of Affleck and Lopez seems to be moving in a different direction, with the focus more on the actual work each star is doing instead of their relationship.

"We get it, you're a celebrity couple, each of whom has a resume longer than a CVS receipt. But the appetite for repetitive celebrity gossip has a certain shelf life, much like the milk in the back of your fridge," Eldridge said.

In celebrity matchmaker Alessandra Conti's opinion, the couple has "matured" since their first time as a couple in the early 2000s. (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

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Conti also explained that "statistically, 60% of second marriages end in divorce, according to the Gottman Institute, so the statistics are not on their side."

"J.Lo and Ben have undoubtedly matured since their first go-around in the early 2000s," Conti said. "Maturity brings an increased self-awareness, emotional stability, along with a much better understanding of what one wants and needs in a relationship. The pair has grown individually and have a better understanding of what went wrong in their past relationship, which will absolutely create a more solid ground for a successful relationship this time around.

"The keys to their relationship lasting is if they can effectively communicate, support each other physically and emotionally and navigate challenges as a team."

"The Greatest Love Story Never Told" and "This is Me…Now: A Love Story" are both available on Amazon Prime, and the album, "This is Me…Now," is available to stream and purchase.