The wife of the shooter in last year's Sutherland Springs church massacre in Texas was tied to her bed on the day of the tragedy, she said in an interview.
Danielle Kelley, 23, told the San Antonio Express-News she was helpless to stop her husband, Devin Patrick Kelley, 26, from killing 26 people and wounding 20 others in November.
It was the first time she was speaking publicly about the events leading up to the massacre, the newspaper reported.
She said her husband forced her into the bedroom as she screamed and cried in protest. Their 2-year-old son, Michael, watched his father bound his mother with rope, handcuffs and duct tape, the report said.
"No matter what, I will love him," Danielle said of Devin. "Even though he went off and ruined more people's lives than I could ever imagine."
Devin's behavior became more erratic in the six months before the massacre at First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs, about 30 miles east of San Antonio, the report said.
She said he was abusing his anxiety medication and was "shutting down." Five years earlier, he had escaped from a psychiatric hospital while serving in the U.S. Air Force.
"Devin was sick. He lost who he was. Because the real Devin would've never hurt babies. He was a family person. He would never have hurt anybody," Danielle said. "He lost the touch of reality."
She said she hopes that in sharing her story, she would help those struggling to seek help and counseling.
The church massacre was the deadliest church shooting in modern U.S. history, and reportedly the deadliest mass shooting of any kind in Texas history.
After fleeing the church, Devin Kelley was shot twice by a civilian, then crashed his SUV. He was found in the vehicle with multiple gunshot wounds, including what authorities said was a self-inflicted blow to the head.
Danielle said she has plans to get a tattoo that would read "I will carry you with me, 'til I see you again."
She said it's about the 26 victims.
"I feel awful," said Danielle, tears filled her eyes while she clutched a blanket, according to the report. "Because nothing I can ever say will ever, ever, ever mend anyone's heart."
"I feel awful. ... Because nothing I can ever say will ever, ever, ever mend anyone's heart."
She said her tattoo would also be in memory of her husband Devin Kelley.
Fox News' Nicole Darrah and Robert Gearty contributed to this report.