Tulsi Gabbard delivers stunning rebuke of Hillary Clinton

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Tulsi Gabbard delivers stunning rebuke of Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton speculates that Russia is grooming one of the Democratic presidential candidates to run as a spoiler third-party candidate; reaction and analysis on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 18, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Hello, everybody. I'm Jesse Watters along with Emily Compagno, Juan Williams, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is The Five.

Hillary Clinton is taking Russia hysteria to a new extreme as she continues the blame game for her 2016 loss against Trump. She's now speculating that the Kremlin is grooming one of the 2020 Democratic women as a spoiler third party candidate. Listen to this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: I think they've got their eye on somebody who's currently in the Democratic primary. And they're grooming her to be the third party candidate. She's a favorite of the Russians. They have a bunch of sites and bots and other ways of supporting her so far. And that's assuming Jill Stein will give it up, which she might not, because she's also a Russian asset. Yeah, she's a Russian asset. I mean, totally. And so, they know they can't win without a third party candidate.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Hillary is obviously referring to Tulsi Gabbard who's already vowed to not run as a third party candidate. She's responded forcefully with this tweet. Ready? Thank you, Hillary Clinton, you, the queen of warmongers, embodiment of corruption and personification of the rot that has sickened the Democratic Party for so long have finally come out from behind the curtain. From the day I announced my candidacy, there has been a concerted campaign to destroy my reputation. We wondered who was behind it and why? Now we know. It was always you.

Through your proxies and powerful allies in the corporate media and war machine, afraid of the threat I pose, it's now clear that this primary is between you and me. Don't cowardly hide behind your proxies. Join the race directly. Greg, this is exactly what you wanted to have happen on a Friday.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Yes. Tulsi is a grade-A bad ass right now. She's like -- you know, she -- the reason why Hillary is going after her is because she is different. She's different than everybody up there. She sounds like, in many ways, a traditional liberal. She's not a hard leftist. She's not into identity politics. She thinks her own way and that bothers her.

But, when you read this, you said they were obviously talking about Tulsi Gabbard. The reason why -- this is the other thing I didn't like about it that Hillary didn't mention her. But it was obvious it was Tulsi because CNN, they had a talking bot on CNN, saying she was a Russian asset and also the New York Times. So you could see that she was merely saying and echoing what you hear in the media. So, again, they're working from the same script.

But maybe, Hillary is right. I mean, if you think about it, you know, here you have Putin is grooming a Russian spy, first to join the American military, right? And then after that Russian spy is in the military, then you run for Congress, OK, in Hawaii. And then you decide to run for president as a Democrat only to leave and then go independent in order to ensure that Donald Trump is president.

The Russians must have been genius to predict that Trump would be president in 2020 to pull this off. She is so delusional, it's comical.

WATTERS: What do you think the strategy is, Dana, behind this?

DANA PERINO, HOST: I don't think there is a strategy. And I don't think she's going -- Hillary said this just because Tulsi Gabbard is different. I think Hillary said this because she truly believes it.

WATTERS: Wow.

PERINO: And that she has many people telling her this. Now, remember, Jill Stein was the third party candidate, and Hillary Clinton and her team truly believed that the Russians and Facebook cost them the election because Jill Stein got X amount of votes in Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania. They truly believe that. So now, Jill Stein is not on the scene anymore. Tulsi Gabbard has been having these accusations about her for a long time.

And, like, to us it sounds like crazy town conspiratorial. Believe me, there are a lot of people who actually believe this. Tulsi Gabbard will have a press conference at 6:30 tonight where she will be able to be like, OK, great, thank you, Hillary Clinton, for now making me the actual star of the week. I don't think the primary is not between her and Hillary by any means. And now, let me say I could take it all back if I found out that Hillary Clinton said it to keep the controversy going, and her in the news for her book tour.

WATTERS: Oh.

GUTFELD: She won the week, though, you're right, because the debate was so boring. Now we remember Tulsi.

WATTERS: That's right. Do you think this is for book promotion?

JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: No. I think it's very real. And I think, you know, you just look at the numbers. The reason this has been going around, by the way, is because Tulsi Gabbard has been supportive of people like Assad, and, you know, very open to Putin. I mean, it's just -- you can just look at the record --

GUTFELD: She's a spy.

WILLIAMS: -- for yourself. I don't know if she's a spy.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Certainly, she's someone that the Russians would be interested in. And here's the key --

WATTERS: Can I ask you a quick --

WILLIAMS: No, let me finish this key political point which is, I had a friend in North Carolina in 2016, very far left activist, right? So, she calls after the election and she says hello, you know, I say, oh, yeah, you know, can you believe Trump won? She said well. I said, didn't you guys get out there for Hillary Clinton? She says, well, no. I assumed Hillary was going to win. You know what? I voted for Jill Stein. I said are you crazy? In North Carolina? North Carolina was won by Trump by I think 3 percentage points. You voted for Jill Stein? She said, yeah, because I wanted to have a protest vote. I'm sick of the establishment. That's the far left, Jesse.

WATTERS: OK.

WILLIAMS: You guys got to remember, it was 79,000 votes in three states, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Michigan, 0.8 percent difference in Wisconsin, 0.7 in Pennsylvania, 0.2 percent in Michigan. How did this happen? This happened because of Jill Stein and Gary Johnson.

WATTERS: I don't want to dwell on it, but what do you mean when you say that Tulsi likes Assad and Putin?

WILLIAMS: Oh, she's been very supportive of Assad. Remember when we were going -- remember when Obama was the red line. Remember -- everybody is complaining about the use of chemical weapons against his own people. She was very supportive. She said Assad is the legitimate leader of Syria.

WATTERS: Oh, OK.

COMPAGNO: OK. For starters, add Jill Stein to the still growing list of reasons why Clinton claims that she lost the election, right? Literally every day there's a new one, right? Misogyny, and Jim Comey, and the FBI, the bankruptcy, et cetera. And for all of her complaints about what she calls those things to be an intervening event, why is she then doing that now to Tulsi? And I think it's because, fundamentally, that, yes, she has a disdain for her because she's different. And we heard it on the Project Veritas' tapes from CNN who said they don't like her because she's unconventional. That's the point.

There's an absolute intolerance from the left and, especially, from Hillary for anyone that thinks differently from her and, obviously, that's the reason why fundamentally she didn't connect with anyone and lost the election. Final point, for the former secretary of state to be throwing around the term asset, knowing full well what it means, is so reprehensible, to me. And I hope that CNN airs Tulsi's response at 6:30.

WATTERS: So, I think it's also to promote the book. But I also think it is to set up which is the David Plouffe interview. I think it's to set up another excuse. If the Democrats lose again, they're going to say that there was, again, Russian interference. And it also validates the so- called interference from the last time.

PERINO: So -- to do an interview with David Plouffe, he was the campaign advisor for President Obama.

WATTERS: I hate how he spells his name also, Plouffe? P-L --

GUTFELD: Stick to the topic, Jesse.

PERINO: So, Hillary Clinton might think, oh, I have a very receptive audience right now, right? And, basically, you feel very safe like you're only talking to your pals, but these podcasts actually go out to the whole world.

WATTERS: Greg, did you hear that? Everyone is listening to your podcast.

GUTFELD: I think she is dying to enter the race, because she's looking at the field and it sickens her, but there's one thing holding her back and that if she enters she won't be the frontrunner. That's like Jack Nicholson getting back into movies as an extra. She's not going to be able to handle that, and I think she's so invested in this delusion that it's affecting the entire environment. She needs to get a hobby, take her grandkids to Euro Disney. I don't know. Learn a musical instrument --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Hold on, hold on. Greg, didn't you -- I think you were one of these people saying just earlier this week, Hillary Clinton may get back in the race. Remember --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: OK. And then you were saying Michelle Obama, she may get in the race. Oh this -- the debates, these Democrats are so stinky and boring. We need somebody with some energy. Then you have someone stand up and say, hey, wait a second, we have a good field. We have people, in fact, Elizabeth Warren is rising. Joe Biden --

WATTERS: Who said you have a good field?

WILLIAMS: I say you have a good field. Not only that --

GUTFELD: He cornered himself.

WILLIAMS: Not only that, when it comes to Tulsi Gabbard, Tulsi Gabbard, I don't think is going to qualify for the next round of debates.

GUTFELD: That might change.

PERINO: She might now.

WILLIAMS: Those are Democrats. That's the Democrats making a judgment even before Hillary Clinton spoke.

GUTFELD: The other point too, she isn't like Jill Stein. She's not a hard leftist. She's a centrist. That is why Hillary can't stand her because she's not like the modern left.

WATTERS: And she has gone after the Democrats and she did it the other day. She said we shouldn't be speaking so much about impeachment all the time. And I think that makes a lot of hardcore leftist Democrats angry because that's all they want to talk about.

GUTFELD: I think Bill is going to want to fly to Hawaii and investigate her.

WATTERS: Yeah, that's right. All right, just don't borrow that guy's plane. Coming up, major enthusiasm for President Trump as he rocks the Dallas, Texas rally, highlights ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Trump supporters out in full force in Dallas last night to hear the president's 2020 message. He railed against potential Democratic rivals and he railed against the impeachment inquiry. Watch this

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT: The more America achieves, the more hateful and enraged these crazy Democrats become. Crazy. That crazy Nancy. She's crazy. And shifty Schiff, how about this guy? Sleepy Joe, I don't think he's got it. No, I thought Pocahontas was gone, left in embers. You've got to give her credit, those embers they kept going, going, going, and now it looks like she's doing better.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: The president also unleashing barbs on texts. And Beto O'Rourke, he was staging a counter rally nearby.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: Last week a very dumb Democrat candidate for president, that's the end of him in this state, pledged to revoke the tax exempt status of many churches and religious charities. That was after a few weeks ago he said, excuse me, we're going to take your guns away. That doesn't work well. And I told him, right. Remember the flailing arms. Nobody noticed it. I noticed it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Emily, do you think the president has any worry that Texas might be going blue? He seems to be showing up there a lot?

COMPAGNO: He seems pretty confident, right? This is the 12th time he's visited Texas since taking office. That was more times than Obama went in both of his terms. So, I think that Beto arguing he can take Texas back and take those 38 electoral votes, 30,000 people outside of that arena beg to differ. I want to point out that those massive crowds, too, are the result, obviously, of this impeachment play by Democrats. And for those that argue, well, the numbers are growing for impeachment or for the inquiry, that still the top priority for very few of them. All that is doing is galvanizing all of those people there that are cheering for him.

WILLIAMS: That's an interesting point, Jesse. In fact, there was a poll today, I think it said in Iowa, only like 6 percent of Iowaians think that impeachment should be -- or is their top concern. You can see the poll there on the screen. But, in fact, I mean, it is the case, as Emily was saying, that the numbers in terms of the people who not only want the president impeached but want him removed from office is also growing nationally.

WATTERS: I like that poll that --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: -- all the other polls you site, I don't like them.

WILLIAMS: OK. All right.

WATTERS: Yeah, it was a huge crowd. It was at 20,000 inside, another 10,000 outside. No Democrat could get anywhere close to those kind of numbers. They couldn't do it in California, I bet. We'll see what Bernie can do here. I think this weekend he's got the squad here, and Michael Moore is going to be joining them. But speaking of crazy people, Tom Arnold tweeted an assassination joke about the president of the United States, you know, don't get cocky. The last time JFK was in Dallas you know what happened. Horrific. He actually deleted it how bad it actually was.

And could you imagine if a famous celebrity said that about Barack Obama? It's horrible. And, you know, we've heard so many stories all week about how dangerous these videos are coming out of the Republican Party. Some small video on some small TV screen, like, you know, some Trump thing. This guy has millions of followers, major Hollywood celebrity assassination jokes about the president and no one is talking about it on CNN.

GUTFELD: I disagree. He's not a major celebrity.

WATTERS: Not a world class celebrity like you.

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute, the president is not a major celebrity and they've got a video of him shooting his opponent?

WATTERS: Did he make that video, Juan? It was Tom Arnold --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: All right, let's move on. Dana, you know, one of the arguments here is the Democrats are focused on impeachment, and so the rest of their agenda gets obscured. But this week what we've seen is, you know, Nancy Pelosi and her House crew unveiled the plan this week on education. They want to have a vote to lower drug prices. They passed the healthcare plan back in May that's stuck in the Senate. So, is it the cases that they are able to do two things at one time?

PERINO: No, because -- think about -- Paul Ryan made this argument as well, right? That the House, when you have the majority, you can pass a lot of things. You can pass 232 bills and they would say we passed 232 bills, and now they're sitting over in the Senate, not getting any attention. And that's why the Democrats have decided Mitch McConnell is public enemy number one because he's not able to get their agenda done.

They had a choice. They didn't have to do impeachment. And Nancy Pelosi held off for a long time so that she would be able to protect her members that became unsustainable. So, no, I don't think -- you can pass a ton of bills in the House. It doesn't matter if you can't get it done in the Senate. You can't show --

WILLIAMS: So, Mitch McConnell is the guy that should get the blame.

PERINO: No. Why? Because Mitch McConnell doesn't want to pass bills that he thinks are not good.

WILLIAMS: No, I think he doesn't want to pass anything. I think -- what is that phrase he uses for himself now? Grave -- something that he just -- everything --

WATTERS: The grim reaper?

WILLIAMS: The grim reaper, there you go. Thanks, Jesse.

WATTERS: You're welcome.

PERINO: The other thing if I could just comment on the rally. I think going to Texas at this point it's not because you're worried about Texas. Texas, you have a huge base of support. You can do a lot of fundraising. And the other important thing is they have this amazing digital operation on the Trump campaign. And they go there, they get all the information. That way they can go back to them over and over again. Get out the vote. Make sure that those people's neighbors are getting out to vote. The energy is incredible.

I think the Democrats are still -- they're having a debate about impeachment and they're also exceedingly worried about electability. If you're still talking on electability they don't have anybody that is like ginning up any enthusiasm. If I could use the word from previous days, in the week, ginning up does not mean anything to do with alcohol, it has to do with horses.

WILLIAMS: Thank you horses. So, Greg, the president, boy, he was fired up last night. So he's saying that Warren is a bum. Schiff is shifty. O'Rourke is dumb.

GUTFELD: Shocking.

WILLIAMS: Pelosi is crazy.

GUTFELD: Disgusting.

WILLIAMS: And he says about that situation in Syria, there's a lot of sand. Let them fight like two kids, you know, before you pull them apart.

GUTFELD: There's a great comparison to be made here. While thousands of everyday Americans were at a Trump rally, the establishment media covers the Al Smith dinner -- in the morning. And what they do is they cover an event where both face names, you know, tell speeches written by other people. That was the news. The news was Mattis roasting Trump at an event where people roast each other. That, to them, was more preferable than seeing what's happening on the ground in Dallas where America's cab driver, Donald Trump, is speaking their language and saying what everybody, the majority of Americans have felt about the Middle East forever. That there are different groups of people killing each other, and maybe it's time we move away and let them settle it themselves.

By the way, Trump isn't a politician. He's a drug, and he gives people different experiences. So his supporters get a dopamine rush when they're there because they know what he's doing. He speaks to them directly. Meanwhile, the never-Trumpers, they also get a dopamine rush from what he says and what he does. Oh, my word, he says this. Oh, I can't believe it. They're getting high on the hate of him.

But the bottom line is, he's closer to the ground than any of the Democratic politicians. That drives Joe Scarborough and the people like him nuts who now have to resort to calling everybody stupid, which is what Scarborough does when he talks about the rallies. He said these people are just stupid. And it's like, no, you just can't understand what's going on in America. You're stupid.

WILLIAMS: But I think that -- you know, President Trump is so entertaining to your point. I'm not -- I think people love to turn out. Now, Dana makes a great point. She gets -- they get data out of this. But, I mean, the fact is Trump puts on a show. I don't know if that means people are going to vote for him.

WATTERS: Well, they did last time.

WILLIAMS: Well, remember who won the election in terms of popular vote.

WATTERS: The popular vote.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Most Americans who wants to hear from them. Hear what Mark Zuckerberg has to say about anti-conservative bias on Facebook. Ms. Dana shares more of her exclusive interview with Zuckerberg, next on The Five.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, is one of the most powerful people on the planet. As the social media platform he runs dominates our digital and political lives. We sat down for an exclusive no holds barred interview where I asked him about a lot of issues including perceived bias against conservatives and free speech. Take a look.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Do you believe that there is a bias against conservatives in Silicon Valley?

MARK ZUCKERBERG, FACEBOOK CEO: Well, it depends on how you say it. I don't think that the services themselves, I haven't seen a lot of data that suggests that there's a negative impact. In fact, a lot of conservative media does quite well on social media. Not just Facebook, but with the others as well. But, look, I mean, California is an overwhelmingly left leaning place. I understand why people would ask the question of -- are my ideas getting a fair shake? And all that I can say on this is this is something I care deeply about. I want to make sure that we can be a platform for all ideas.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: So there -- this has been going on for a while that there's a perception that there's a bias against conservatives by -- maybe not him in particular, but employees at Facebook, or across Silicon Valley, and it's something they're trying to deal with. How do you think they've done so far?

COMPAGNO: I think they've done a poor job of managing it, frankly, especially the messaging, right? So he -- what was interesting about his answer is that he talked about the services. He said the services are -- you know, there's no data supporting the conservative bias. But that's parsing language, right? We knew that in a Lincoln Tower survey, 90 percent of his employees said that if they were conservative they were unsafe at work or felt unsafe at work to talk about it. That's why Facebook conducted that internal audit, right?

We had 100 Facebook employees report that they would be attacked by their colleagues. And I just, you know, just conceptually talking about this, I can't help but think that it gets baked into the software, because the whole point is that the data is difficult to qualify, obviously.

PERINO: They have tried to deal with that in different ways. But he also said that he admitted later in the interview that -- I think over 95 percent of donations from people that work in Silicon Valley goes to Democrats.

WATTERS: Yeah, not only they've done it to Hillary the last time. A lot of the executives in Silicon Valley were joined at the hip with the Hillary Clinton campaign. They were joined at the hip with the Obama campaign. The Google people, a lot of those people were almost working with those campaigns. And I agree that a lot of conservative people do have success online. But when it comes to banning or shadow banning a Dave Rubin, Ben Shapiro, Dennis Prager, the list goes on and on. Diamond and silk our favorite ladies.

You know, you wind up, you turn your computer on, and the next thing you know you get one view on a video when you had 55,000 the last couple of weeks. It doesn't make a lot of sense what people accuse him of political bias by the people that write the algorithms. Why is it that conservatives continue to get banned when liberals don't?

PERINO: He gave a speech yesterday, Greg, about free speech on the same day that twitter said that they were going to start de-platforming some of President Trump's tweets.

GUTFELD: That is quite a comparison.

PERINO: I mean, what is going on?

GUTFELD: What is going on? By the way, that's a no holds barred. What is a holds barred interview? What's a hold barred?

PERINO: I don't know.

GUTFELD: I don't either.

PERINO: Oh, maybe you can find one on Saturday night.

GUTFELD: So, anyway -- that was mean. So he admits --

WATTERS: She's getting you back.

GUTFELD: I was joking about the word.

WATTERS: She was joking.

GUTFELD: All right. He admits that the platform or the social media industry is overwhelmingly liberal, right? But he says it doesn't have an effect on access for conservatives. I would argue that's because the customers are doing a lot of the policing. The customers are throwing a racket. If the Right wasn't throwing a racket, it would get pretty bad. So, they're the ones doing it.

He's up against something when you're talking about the employees. Where are these employees coming from? They're coming from colleges with garbage majors. Where do they go? They go into HR. They go into PR and they make - they infect the work world with their identity politics, their intersectionality politics, and makes it hard for other people, conservatives to work there.

PERINO: Do you think the engineers too?

GUTFELD: Well, the engineers just be quiet. PERINO: But they're the ones--

GUTFELD: Engineers don't care about politics. They just love to engineer.

PERINO: They want to code.

GUTFELD: I've got an engineer in my family and they don't - they just want to do their job.

PERINO: They're like shut up and code.

GUTFELD: Yes, Exactly.

WILLIAMS: All right. Let me just say, earth to this Right-wing spaceship. Have you noticed that this very week you have Donald Trump dumping on Joe Biden without any basis, lies, propaganda? It's right there on Facebook. Nobody stops it. They allow it.

You have things like that video of Nancy Pelosi appearing drunk, doctored video--

GUTFELD: By who?

WILLIAMS: Nancy Pelosi says, please take this down. It's obviously wrong. What does Facebook do? No, we can't do that.

PERINO: But that was the--

WILLIAMS: Hang on. So, what does he do? He goes to Dana and he says, oh, yes, this is a First Amendment issue. We protect free speech. You know what? He's protecting his profits. That's all he cares.

PERINO: They don't even make - they make about pocket--

WILLIAMS: That's why.

PERINO: On political win.

WILLIAMS: That's what I said to you yesterday.

PERINO: OK. But I don't think that's - why - the only thing that that would help is people who are already established.

WILLIAMS: No, I think - that's his argument. His argument is that small time politicians. But what we see is what we know from the 2016 campaign. These guys are going on about is the Russians, the Russians were so aggressive in using Facebook to divide America.

WATTERS: The Nationals are in the World Series.

WILLIAMS: Forget about it.

WATTERS: Relax. They're in the World Series.

WILLIAMS: Zuckerberg gave an interview, shut up about it.

PERINO: I'm going to make you a promise in the next block, we are not bringing Russia up, not once. OK, Lady Gaga gives fans a scare of a lifetime. That shocking video is next in the Fastest 7.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COMPAGNO: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest seven. First up, Lady Gaga shocked fans in Las Vegas after tumbling off the stage.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

COMPAGNO: We legitimately thought she was dead, said one fan. But don't worry. The singer is OK. Getting right back on stage and posting these photos of her ice bath later after the concert. This is what happens when you bring amateurs on stage. So, she fell off because literally she brought a fan.

WATTERS: How do you think I feel. Sorry.

COMPAGNO: She brought a fan onto the stage and they were dancing, and they fell off. Yes, that was a fan.

WATTERS: I know.

COMPAGNO: But I can't talk as I have fallen once.

WATTERS: Well, I honestly think this is good for her career. This is good buzz.

GUTFELD: She needed help.

WATTERS: This is viral. She needed help. Honestly, you haven't heard a thing about Lady Gaga for years.

PERINO: I mean, Hillary Clinton is not doing that.

WATTERS: Maybe she should, besides the Oscar nomination. I do like that--

COMPAGNO: Who is the amateur.

GUTFELD: All right. You know, this is why I've eliminated any kind of like contact with my fans, on my show. But I have - do we have a picture from - this is me with Tom Shillue. Do you know what I'm doing there on live shows, do you know what I'm doing there? I'm imitating Jasper? When you're sitting in a chair, and Jasper decides that he's going to sit on the chair. Yes--

PERINO: Is that true?

GUTFELD: I do that in my show.

COMPAGNO: Did he know you were going to--

WATTERS: That's disgusting.

PERINO: Someone send me a video of that, I want to play.

COMPAGNO: Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, I think a new meaning to that old phrase. Break a leg. I'm just so impressed with her, because I think that if someone whose weight is on top of you when you fall, it could be crushing. And she got back up. Not only did she perform, she then showed that she was taking pictures with people after. I mean - she's a great performer.

COMPAGNO: She is.

GUTFELD: She is.

PERINO: One of the best things for your career, if you can fall off stage, just kidding. I have nothing left. I'm offended by the ice bath. I mean, I think those are bad.

WATTERS: Really?

PERINO: Yes, they're bad for you.

WATTERS: Why? PERINO: Oh, no, just wait. There is a study coming out.

COMPAGNO: I remember the opening scene of White Nights with Baryshnikov. OK, next.

GUTFELD: Yes, I do remember.

COMPAGNO: Yes. Never mess with someone's morning commute, climate activists in London had to learn that the hard way after climbing on top of a train during rush hour. Watch what happens next.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

COMPAGNO: I love this, did you hear what that one guy shouted? He said, I need to get to work to feed my kids. Protesting during 9 to 5 is a luxury, especially when all you're doing is preventing people from working and feeding their kids. I loved it.

GUTFELD: Yes. I mean, activists must have it easy. There are people that are probably half sick kids, they need to go to the doctor, and they don't have the luxury of being able not to worry about those things and to disrupt people's lives. The thing that got me mad was there was a group of British musicians, well-off musicians like Thom Yorke and Brian Eno supporting with the extinction organization, because they don't have to use this transport.

If they want to go, they could just fly first class, or they can fly private. So, they advocate the hindering of their own fans. I mean, what if these guys tried to shut down a Radiohead concert? I wonder how Thom Yorke would feel.

WATTERS: It's called the Tube. Did you guys know that?

GUTFELD: Yes, I lived there.

WATTERS: For those of you guys that don't know or have never been to London, they call the subway there a tube. And by the way, isn't that how you're supposed to commute through the tube if you believe in global warming, right?

PERINO: Yes.

WATTERS: They should be out there on streets protesting those little cars on the other side. Did you guys know that they drive the car on the other side of the road in London?
 
GUTFELD: You are a thought of well-being.

PERINO: Well, one thing you might not have known, Jesse, is that those protesters, they were a bunch of merchant bankers.

WATTERS: Merchant bankers.

GUTFELD: Nicely done.

WATTERS: You mean merchant wankers.

WILLIAMS: That was good.

WATTERS: Thank you, Juan.

WILLIAMS: That was good.

COMPAGNO: OK, the third topic.

WILLIAMS: Allow me to say, they were rolling. That was terrific.

COMPAGNO: OK. Finally, we use a lot of brainpower on The Five, obviously. So, we were alarmed when we saw this study that says you might die earlier in life if you think too hard. Scientists coming to this conclusion after comparing the brains of 100-year old to those who died in their 60s and 70s, this terrified me, obviously--

WATTERS: Why, you're going to live forever.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: You are doing it today.

WATTERS: Go ahead.

GUTFELD: Jesse, this is - either your greatest or worst segment.

WILLIAMS: Yes.

COMPAGNO: OK, fine.

PERINO: When I first saw this headline, I thought it said, thinking too hard might make you short. I didn't say - because it's cut off, it didn't say shorten your life. And I thought well that's what happened to me and Greg. I just think too hard.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

WILLIAMS: That would be - but I tell you what, I initially took this seriously. Then I kept reading and it really wasn't about thinking too hard. It was about having too much neural stimulation constantly. And, you know what came to mind is, they tell you if you want to go to sleep at night, don't read the iPad or don't look at that. And that's just constant stimulation. It's not that you're thinking hard. It's just that your brain is zooming.

WATTERS: Read a book.

GUTFELD: Or it could be really dumb people who need to think extra hard to do basic things, which is why I worry about Morning Joe.

WATTERS: Oh, man. That's twice Joe got hit today.

GUTFELD: Yes, he deserves it.

COMPAGNO: All right. She's mad at you.

WATTERS: Still.

COMPAGNO: Not at everybody. All right. Fan Mail Friday is next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Yes. Fan Mail Friday, it's more than a feeling. First question. Boy, I sound loud, Emily. Matthew asks, whose mind would you read if given the choice? Juan.

WILLIAMS: I guess, great mathematician. I would really like to know how you think. In other words, because I'm interested in how you think about the world. Someone once told me that great musicians and great mathematicians think alike because music is a mathematical form. So, I'm very interested because - both of those, I'm not a bad mathematician when I was in school. But now obviously you ask me two and two, it's going to be a problem.

GUTFELD: Jesse.

WATTERS: Well, I wouldn't read yours because we all know what you're thinking. You say everything.

GUTFELD: That is true.

WATTERS: I mean, you should see him in the green room. It's like a constant stream of consciousness. We don't want to know all that stuff you're thinking, but you share it anyway.

GUTFELD: I've got to get it out of my brain. I've got to get out on the floor. I've got to spray it on you, Jesse.

WATTERS: That's disgusting. No, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe, Vladimir Putin.

GUTFELD: Yes. I'm not supposed to mention--

PERINO: No, you can't say that.

WATTERS: I'm sorry, Juan, sorry to bring that up.

GUTFELD: Dana.

PERINO: Well, I was going to say Jasper before Juan's answer.

GUTFELD: An animal.

PERINO: Yes, I think I would love to know what he's thinking. I mean, I would love - that would be. GUTFELD: What if he didn't like you?

WATTERS: He likes Peter so much more. Here she comes again.

GUTFELD: You'll be like heartbroken.

WATTERS: Stop putting me on Instagram.

GUTFELD: I'm a dog, not a model. Emily.

COMPAGNO: Like every boss, you know, like realistically.

PERINO: I don't want to know.

COMPAGNO: Every producer in this building. I would like.

PERINO: No, I would not want to know.

GUTFELD: I figured everybody was going to say the wife. You would avoid--

PERINO: You want to know?

GUTFELD: Well, yes. That would avoid so many issues.

WATTERS: You can just ask her what she's thinking, Greg. She is your wife.

GUTFELD: All right, Ernie. Well, I can't even say this name. What is the thing you cringe at when you see and slash or hear yourself on TV? Emily?

COMPAGNO: God, just like - I think when - like this moment, right now, yes.

GUTFELD: This moment, you're cringing.

COMPAGNO: Yes. I think whenever I like to do things like that, and then you make fun of me later and I'm like, oh, God,

WILLIAMS: You've got to stop letting people bully you. You're doing great, kid.

COMPAGNO: Thanks.

WATTERS: He doesn't mean that.

GUTFELD: That's not going to help her, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Don't help her.

GUTFELD: You've got to keep her down.

WILLIAMS: OK.

GUTFELD: Hey, Juan, so what thing do you cringe at when you're like you're watching yourself on TV, if you do?

WILLIAMS: Well, that's pretty rare. But I often think dang, what happened to the young guy, where the young guy goes. I mean, obviously, I get uptight sometimes about my hair, I think - why is that? What happened to all that hair?

WATTERS: Yes, me too. I don't really listen to what I say. I look at how I look.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: I'm like, oh, my tie is crooked. My hair looks great. You know, I look stupid. My tie is crooked? OK. There you go.

PERINO: I can't stand the sound of my own voice. And I would rather die than watch myself on television.

GUTFELD: But your noise sound person, right? Every. It's always something about noise. It's people's phones. People's voices.

PERINO: I think most people don't like the sound of their own voice, right?

GUTFELD: I love the sound of my voice.

WILLIAMS: But I'm interested in Dana saying that because I - sometimes Dana says that female politicians, you can't stand their voice.

GUTFELD: Yes, everyone.

PERINO: It's not just me.

WATTERS: Tulsi, right.

GUTFELD: Tulsi has got a great voice. But I'm with--

PERINO: Women as politicians have a harder time--

GUTFELD: Because of other women.

PERINO: Because of their voice.

WILLIAMS: Because of other women?

GUTFELD: All right. I'm with Juan though. When I see myself on TV, I just go, what happened? What happened? Because before you know, you become this other person. But it's so gradual until you turn on the TV, you, holy crap. I'm like, I'm almost 30. What is the last thing you do before going to bed? And you have to keep that one clean. Jesse, what is the last thing you do before going to bed?

WATTERS: I brush my - I say my prayers.

GUTFELD: Oh, there you go.

PERINO: Do you read the Hobbit.

WATTERS: I should though. I should pray more.

GUTFELD: That's nice. Dana, you should pray more. It's not going to help him, but--

WATTERS: Great for me.

PERINO: What do you think?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

PERINO: I set my alarm.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: I don't even use it a lot.

GUTFELD: This is like a Family Feud question.

PERINO: Yes. I don't want to answer it.

WILLIAMS: I read books at night.

GUTFELD: Yes, especially as it gets later, you're just like I'm tired, I'm done. I'm going to sleep.

COMPAGNO: Literally, last step is putting in my earplugs.

GUTFELD: You put in earplugs.

PERINO: Every night?

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Where do you live, above a train?

PERINO: I should just put in earplugs for like my whole like all day.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's what you should do.

COMPAGNO: I travel with earplugs in like start to finish.

PERINO: Really.

COMPAGNO: 100 percent.

WILLIAMS: But do you have blinders. Do you have eye covers too?

COMPAGNO: But like if I'm in an airport, I have earplugs in.

WILLIAMS: Wait a minute. So, your husband is sleeping next to a woman whose ears are plugged and eyes are covered.

COMPAGNO: Yes. Not all the time with the eye mask. But all the time with the earplugs. Like 1000 percent,

WATTERS: You have no idea what he's saying to you.

GUTFELD: Last thing I do before going to bed, I walk home. Do we have time? Oh, no, One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Time now for One More Thing. Dana.

PERINO: It's been a little bit of a long week.

GUTFELD: Has it?

PERINO: So, we need some of this. Okay, first one, why did the man stop selling computer parts? Emily.

COMPAGNO: I love this segment.

GUTFELD: He ran out of drive.

PERINO: Yes, he lost his drive.

WATTERS: No way.

PERINO: OK. How does a computer get drunk?

GUTFELD: Hardware.

PERINO: It takes screenshots. OK. Why did the PowerPoint cross the road?

WATTERS: To get to the other slide?

PERINO: Yes. Very good. Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts. OK, last one, how do trees use a computer? They log in.

WATTERS: That was a tough one.

PERINO: Very good though. Pretty good for a Friday. Pretty good.

WATTERS: All right. New segment, Jesse's Fake News Alert. You're going to be seeing a lot of these. All right. So, I wake up this morning and everyone's on Twitter saying, I'm a bad tipper. It turns out some clown clipped me saying, you know, when - I'll show you what I said.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MARTHA MACCALLUM, HOST: The thing that really tips me off is the iPad thing that they hold up in your face after they give you coffee and say like, do you want to tip me 10, 15 or 20 percent and just like putting- -

WATTERS: Yes, right in front of them.

MACCALLUM: I hate it.

WATTERS: I'm not afraid to go zero.

MACCALLUM: You're not.

GUTFELD: Of course, Jesse.

WATTERS: Well, I mean, all you're doing is handing me coffee. You get a tip for that?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right. So, I'm talking about a coffee shop people. I'm not talking about a $500 meal in a restaurant. Of course, I tip 20, sometimes 30, sometimes 40 percent.

GUTFELD: Those $500 meal restaurants you go to, you are man of the people. You are digging this hole so fast.

WATTERS: What I'm trying to say is that I tip very well. All right. I only stiff sometimes a Barista if they're just giving me the coffee.

PERINO: No, don't stiff the Barista.

WATTERS: And or if I pay cash, which I do mostly. I'll just stick a dollar in the cup. But I want to make sure they see me stick the dollar.

PERINO: Always give a dollar.

WILLIAMS: Such a selfless guy.

GUTFELD: I think you just gave the guy who clipped you something else to clip.

WATTERS: Yes, also Watters World. We have Mike Rowe. We have Senator Rand Paul. And we also have Democrats with Trump Derangement Syndrome letting out some rage in a rage room.

GUTFELD: All right. So, I'm going to plug The Greg Gutfeld Show tomorrow, October 19, 10 PM. Joe DeVito, Emily Compagno, you know her, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, that's 10 PM, watch it or I will haunt you to your grave. Now let's go to this.

Greg's porcupine eating a pumpkin news. This happens a lot, by the way. Let's go to the tape. This is Rico. Here's Rico. He's at the Cincinnati Zoo. We were actually there, weren't we? There he is enjoying some pumpkin. Yes, it is cute. Emily.

COMPAGNO: What is that?

GUTFELD: It's a porcupine if you're listening.

PERINO: It's not a hedgehog?

WILLIAMS: Did we go to the Columbus Zoo?

GUTFELD: Yes, we went to the Columbus Zoo. It begins with a C, Juan.

PERINO: Isn't that a hedgehog.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I don't like anybody here.

WATTERS: All right. Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, you know what, girls just want to have fun.

GUTFELD: Do they?

WILLIAMS: Take a look at these American astronauts, both women, on a five hour spacewalk outside the International Space Station. That was a moment of history, folks. It was the first all-female spacewalk. It's been 54 years since humans first walked in space. This comes a few months after NASA canceled an all-female spacewalk because they didn't have enough suits that fit women.

Now, women have been out on spacewalks before. Keep that in mind. But only with male colleagues. So, this was a first. The two Americans, Christina Koch, Jessica Meir are the 14th and 15th women ever to walk in space. All but one of the others are retired. And as you can see from these pictures, they're at there, having a ball. Americans just want to have fun.

WATTERS: Donald Trump really breaking new ground for women in space.

WILLIAMS: Yes. That's him.

WATTERS: Unbelievable. Go ahead.

COMPAGNO: OK, you guys, do you remember this?

(VIDEO PLAYING)

COMPAGNO: Yes. OK, Booking.com is doing a Halloween pop up where you can literally rent the house. The Addams Family House and stay in it. It's just around $100 for four people at night and they are doing it like to the end degree, decorated in true fashion bases of just rose stem, you rang Bell. How awesome is that, by the way? I thought it was real. Just a pop up. But it's the next best thing. And also, I couldn't find my Halloween picture of me and like, age 10 or 11 when I was (inaudible). Drop the mic.

WATTERS: I didn't know Addams had two D's in it. Get back in Monday everybody. Have a great week.

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