Tucker: They suddenly care about borders

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Tucker: They suddenly care about borders

Tucker Carlson discusses how Washington is reacting to the Russia-Ukraine conflict.

This is a rush transcript of "Tucker Carlson Tonight" on January 20, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

TUCKER CARLSON, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Good evening and welcome to TUCKER CARLSON TONIGHT.

There is nothing more tiresome or predictable than a cable news host who makes the show about himself. Narcissism is to TV people what black lung is to coal miners, so we do our best to avoid catching it.

But tonight we're going to break our rule and tell you about something pretty interesting that happened to this show a couple of days ago.

On Tuesday, we did a segment about the nation of Ukraine. Now Ukraine may be a perfectly nice place to visit, but you wouldn't think it would get a lot of attention from a superpower like this one.

Ukraine is a pretty small country. Really, it is in Eastern Europe. It is 5,000 miles from Washington. It's got a population about the size of the State of California. So hugely significant? Not really. And yet, we never seem to stop talking about Ukraine.

As the Vice President of United States, Joe Biden himself spent an enormous amount of his time meddling in the internal affairs of Ukraine and because of his influence in that country, his son, Hunter, got a job at a Ukrainian company and got rich from that.

Then Donald Trump was impeached for speaking on the phone to an official from, yes, Ukraine. And now as of tonight, we're moving closer to a war over Ukraine.

In the coming days, Russia may violate Ukraine's eastern border, and this we are told, cannot stand.

In Washington, the territorial integrity of the United States means precisely nothing. Walls are racist. We're a nation of immigrants. But the territorial integrity of Ukraine, that is something we must fight for.

Watch as a remarkably broad spectrum of political figures appear on all three cable networks to explain that if Russians crossed the Ukrainian border in an undocumented caravan, we have a moral obligation to use force immediately.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ADAM SCHIFF (D-CA): We will move more NATO's assets closer to Russia, not further away if they once again bring war to Ukraine.

ALEXANDER VINDMAN, FORMER DIRECTOR FOR EUROPEAN AFFAIRS FOR THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL SECURITY COUNCIL: It's just not going to be that simple. I think we should be doing a lot more and we, we shouldn't be just considering a diplomatic track.

REP. DAN CRENSHAW (R-TX): There needs to be clear consequences for what they do because we've failed to deter and now you're inviting conflict. It's a - it is a very bad situation and we've left ourselves without many options as a result.

REP. MICHAEL MCCAUL (R-TX): I don't think we're providing the deterrence necessary to stop Putin from invading Ukraine, the breadbasket of Russia.

JOE SCARBOROUGH, MSNBC HOST: And it's time for the Biden White House to start speaking more clearly and more aggressively and telling us how they're going to stop this invasion from happening.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Oh, they're all red in the face, but it's not the usual partisan chorus. This is the entire choir.

You just saw representatives from every faction in Washington from Adam Schiff to Dan Crenshaw, not as different as they seem, and all the dummies in between, and all of them are promoting war against Russia on behalf of our new and deeply beloved ally, the government of Ukraine.

Vladimir Putin is our most dangerous enemy, they scream. We can't let him hurt Ukraine. So it turns out Russiagate was actually more effective even than we'd realize. The Steele dossier has been debunked, but in Washington, the theme remains in force: Russia, Russia, Russia. Russia is bad.

What is this about, exactly?

Well, obviously it's the usual collection of children falling for the usual collection of lies, but why this specific lie? On Tuesday, we tried to get to the bottom of this because it seems like it matters. We spoke to a man called Clint Ehrlich.

As Ehrlich pointed out, there are a lot of factors here driving us toward war over Ukraine. But one of them, a central one, is NATO. So what is NATO and what is the purpose of NATO since the fall of the Soviet Union 30 years ago that NATO was designed as a bulwark against?

Well, no one can answer that question. Not one person and yet the same people who cooked up the Iraq War are now insisting that Ukraine must join NATO anyway. That would mean putting American military hardware right on Russia's border, and Russia doesn't want that any more than we would want Russian missiles in Tijuana. Hence, the tension.

Now the irony, as Clint Ehrlich pointed out, is that NATO doesn't even want Ukraine to join. In other words, the whole thing is nuts. It serves no American interest whatsoever. It is yet another manufactured crisis, this one devised by restless, power-hungry neocons in Washington looking for another war.

Here's part of what Clint Ehrlich told us.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CLINT EHRLICH, RUSSIA EXPERT: Here we have people who are arguing that even if the Russians don't invade Ukraine, that we need to invade and kick the Russians out of Crimea. That was an op-ed from a senior Obama administration official this week.

And so I would say that it's even simpler than that. We're dealing with our warmongers, unserious people whose policy prescriptions could have deadly serious consequences.

The deeper irony is that NATO doesn't even want Ukraine, that it's a corrupt country. It's more of a liability than it would be a military asset. And the people who are pushing this simply argue that it needs to happen because Russia shouldn't have a veto over who is in NATO.

In other words, even when it's in our mutual interest to not have a state in NATO, we have to insist that there will be added just to spite the Russians.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Well, that was an interesting conversation, and those seem like fair points. If they're wrong, go ahead and explain how they're wrong. We'll listen.

But official Washington is done explaining anything, as you may have noticed. So instead, the very same foreign policy geniuses who brought slave markets to Libya went insane with rage. Not since we made fun of pregnant flight suits have they been this mad.

"FOX host unabashedly makes Putin's case," barked CNN's White House correspondent. "Unabashedly," "shows how the disinformation successes of Russian intelligence extend way beyond Trump." "Tucker is all-in for Putin," noted Bill Kristol, a man who couldn't even run a small circulation magazine, but imagines he should run our country's foreign policy.

And then a former D.N.C. contractor called Alexandra Chalupa announced that this shows opinions violated the law. "This isn't journalism," she wrote. "It's an ongoing FARA violation. Tucker Carlson needs to be prosecuted as an unregistered agent of the Russian Federation and treason under Article 3, Section 3, Clause 1 of the U.S. Constitution for aiding an enemy in hybrid warfare against the United States."

A death penalty offense.

What Alexandra Chalupa didn't mention, speaking of FARA violations, is that she herself has extensive personal ties to the Ukrainian government. In 2016, Chalupa contacted Ukraine's embassy looking for dirt on Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Now, she says that anyone who doesn't believe Americans should die for Ukraine must be sent to prison.

Virginia Congressman Gerry Connolly didn't go that far, but close. He called us "right-wing agitator spewing Russian propaganda into millions of American homes." Like a virus.

And then Congressman Eric Swalwell of California, a man who literally had sex with a Chinese spy, apparently multiple times in very strange ways, agreed with this. "Carrying Putin's water again," he wrote on Twitter. And then one of Barack Obama's speechwriters accused us of being quote, "on the side of ethno-nationalist authoritarianism." Ethno-nationalism?

So if you don't support fighting a war on behalf of all White Ukraine against all White Russia, you my friend are a racist and so on.

So what's so interesting here is that there was not a single argument, not a single idea in any of it. These aren't just Twitter trolls, these are people who imagine themselves, foreign policy heavyweights, deep thinkers, statesmen. But when challenged, all they could muster was name-calling. They went ad hominem immediately because they had nothing else. They're pathetic.

That ought to worry you, though, because they may be pathetic. They're also very powerful. So in the end, it fell to poor Kamala Harris to explain why we need to fight for the honor of Ukraine. And she did it on "The Today Show," the Biden administration's forum for deep thoughts on foreign policy. Here's what she said.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KAMALA HARRIS (D), VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: And on the subject of Ukraine, I will tell you that the President has been very clear and we, as the United States are very clear. If Putin takes aggressive action, we are prepared to levy serious and severe costs. Period.

And I will tell you that part of the posture that we have taken is grounded in the respect and the value we place in sovereignty and territorial integrity.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Reading her little talking points as vehemently as she can. But the best? The emphasis we place, the value we place on territorial integrity. Borders. Sovereignty. The right to determine who comes into your country and when. That's the word from Kamala Harris, the lifelong open borders activist.

So how should Putin handle this? Well, Putin had a better imagination, apparently he doesn't. He'd paint the Russian tanks now amassed on the Ukrainian border with the slogan, "No person is illegal." What would Kamala Harris say to that? On what grounds would she tell Russians who just want a better life with their families in Ukraine that they can't come to Ukraine?

If the Russians just quoted Emma Lazarus, Kamala Harris would have to back off and support them and their voting rights in Ukraine.

But unfortunately for them, the Russians are just too literal for this. When they invade a country, just go ahead and call it an invasion. But you still have to wonder, invasion or not, why is any of this a profound concern of ours? Why would you even consider risking American lives or sending billions of dollars to stop it?

There are multiple border wars underway around the world. Multiple -- just on the continent of Africa, right now. There always have been. Many are dying in those wars. And yet Kamala Harris is not agitating for American troops to Congo. How come? We can only speculate about that.

What we do know is that the administration's Russia policy would only make sense if your goal was to gravely hurt the United States of America. Already, we have spent nearly $4 billion in aid to Ukraine over the last few years, much of it for weapons. The point of this is to tweak Russia and, if necessary, to kill Russians.

Our elites feel very superior about this, morally. They brag about it constantly. So it's an up -- it's a win for them. But what about the cost to the rest of us and to our country?

China is the preeminent threat to the United States. Nothing comes close to the threat that China poses. Here's the truth: The U.S. military, impressive as it is, is not big enough to engage meaningfully simultaneously in Europe and in Asia. Can't do both at the same time.

So our attention to Ukraine, by definition, detracts from our attention to China. But worse and more dangerous than that, more dangerous than anything, it drives the Russians into an alliance of convenience, of necessity with the Chinese government.

So here you have our two biggest rivals, united. United not simply against our military, but against our currency. When the U.S. dollar is displaced as the world's reserve currency, and when that happens, this country will become poor overnight.

This, what you're watching now, will be one of the reasons why it happened. So it's hard to imagine anything more significant or destructive than what these people are doing right now. It's not just about Ukraine, it's about our future.

Doug Macgregor is a retired Army colonel. He has watched this unfold over the course of the years. He joins us tonight. It seems like an awful lot is at stake here, Doug, and I don't hear anybody making obvious -- the most obvious points. Like why are we driving Russia into the arms and an alliance with China? Why doesn't anyone say that? Don't they see it?

COL. DOUGLAS MACGREGOR (RET), U.S. ARMY: Well, first of all, thank you for pointing out that both the Democrats and the Placebo Party, also known as the Republican Party, are both equally committed to the dumb idea of a war in Eastern Europe against the Russians, a place of marginal interest to us strategically, but of great interest to Russia, obviously, where they have high strategic stakes.

But there are three problems with the whole approach. Number one, I'm sure you watched the press conference with the President.

CARLSON: Yes.

MACGREGOR: Biden has become the metaphor for a declining great power. Everyone senses this. All the heads of state around the world, certainly Putin and Xi are watching us, and they know, we are not the country of 1990 in any way, shape, or form.

We are declining in terms of our military, economic, and political influence. That's number one.

Secondly, our record of interventions have been a dismal failure. Nothing has worked. Everywhere we'd gone has turned into a disaster over the last 40 or 50 years.

And then finally, the timing could not be worse. The Americans are not interested. The American people have no interest in going to Eastern Europe to fight Russia. Why not? Well, look at the economy, it's fragile. If anything, it continues to deteriorate and fail.

It's not just supply chains and stores that have shelves that are empty. The living standards in this country are falling for the majority of the American people, they know it.

So the idea that we would now embark on a war after we've wasted trillions over the last 30 years on failed interventions is incomprehensible to Americans. So Washington, left or right is completely out of touch with reality.

CARLSON: Yes, and it is almost everybody in both parties. This is a great country, it can be rebuilt, it can be saved. It's not too late, but you can't do stuff like this. You really can't, I don't think,

MACGREGOR: Well, there is something else that is worth mentioning. NATO after the collapse of the Soviet Union saw its position or mission in the world as preventing another war in Europe, not fomenting it, not cultivating it.

For God's sakes. That's what all of the Europeans wanted. If you think the Germans, the Dutch, the French, the British, the Norwegians -- anybody in NATO is going to pack up and immediately rush east to invade Russia, they are out of their minds. This has no future.

If anything, this is going to end NATO before they're through.

CARLSON: We've seen that before. Doug Macgregor, thanks so much.

MACGREGOR: Sure.

CARLSON: So Biden is a full year into his presidency as of today. He is not doing well. He knows that, so he is going full insurrectionist. He is questioning the legitimacy of the upcoming midterms. He wants to stop the steal.

Here he was at his press conference yesterday sowing doubts about our democracy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: Speaking of voting rights legislation, if this isn't passed, do you still believe the upcoming election will be fairly conducted and its results will be legitimate.

JOE BIDEN (D), PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Well it all depends on whether or not we will able to make the case to the American people that some of this has been set up to try to alter the outcome of the election.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Kamala Harris was asked about this today, too. We're not going to show you the clip, you can look it up. It turns out she is an election truther, too. She doesn't think it's on the level. She thinks elections are being stolen. That's kind of a common view in Congress.

Here's Jim Clyburn of South Carolina.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

QUESTION: Are you concerned that without these voting rights bills, the election results won't be legitimate?

REP. JAMES CLYBURN (D-SC): I'm absolutely concerned about that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Questioning the legitimacy of our election, doing the bidding of Putin. Where is Liz Cheney? She is always on the hunt for insurrectionists undermining democracy.

Dan Hollaway joins -- Liz Cheney would, but even better, we have Dan Hollaway, one of the hosts of the "Drinkin' Bros" Podcast, he joins us tonight.

So, Dan, here you have the leaders of our country undermining democracy by questioning the legitimacy of elections. Like how can this stand?

DAN HOLLAWAY, COHOST "DRINKIN' BROS" PODCAST: Oh, it's pretty crazy. I mean, in November of 2020, the biggest threat to our democracy was calling a Federal election illegitimate, which is interesting, because in 2016, in November, the biggest threat to our democracy was an illegitimate election because of Trump-Russian collusion, which is super interesting, because earlier in 2016, Hillary Clinton used D.N.C. money to pay a foreign agent to fabricate all of that, which is an actual threat to democracy.

So I'm not sure where we really go from here. It's a total clown world.

CARLSON: Maybe the rest of us are at least partly at fault by taking them at their word and understanding terms by their literal meanings. Maybe, we shouldn't believe anything they say and assume the opposite is true.

HOLLAWAY: Maybe that's true. I mean, look, don't believe the spin from Jen Psaki, either because Chris Cillizza and Robert Reich were right out on the stump immediately after Biden said this full-throatedly agreeing with him.

Just remember this, Tucker, there is one really important thing I want your viewers to remember, 2020 was the most fair election of all time, right?

CARLSON: Yes, ever.

HOLLAWAY: Pristine, perfect election of all time, but if we don't pass this legislation now, which takes voting rights away from the states and puts them in Federal control, then we can't guarantee legitimacy of elections ever again, I guess. That's the lesson that we're being asked to take from these guys.

CARLSON: So that January 6th Committee, Liz Cheney's committee, Nancy Pelosi's Committee is now taking -- stealing the text messages of journalists and political consultants who doubted the fairness of the last election and leaking them to the news media.

Do you think they're going to subpoena the text messages of Kamala Harris, Jim Clyburn, and Joe Biden?

HOLLAWAY: No, I don't. No, I don't. This is like, I said, it's a clown world because the same thing is going on with the filibuster right now. The filibuster was fine for 200 or 300 uses in the last legislative cycle when Trump was President, right?

But now all of a sudden, that too, is a threat to democracy. I guess, that's just the hot button word these days. You call something a threat to democracy, and that is what it is.

And it turns out that the Democrats are just fair-weather fans of democracy, right? They like it when it works for them, but when it doesn't, everything is an existential threat.

CARLSON: Well put, Dan Hollaway, great to see you tonight. Thank you.

So if you ever listen to Howard Stern, like, please don't. He is depressing, a man of enormous talent and bravery has become craven using his radio show to push paranoid cowardice.'

But if you're interested in what's happening to Howard Stern, we have the tape next, and reaction from Jimmy Dore.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CARLSON: Howard Stern by any measure is one of the great radio hosts of all time, he spends a huge amount of money for doing what he does, but there's a reason for it. He was incredibly brave and creative. Vulgar, yes, but truly talented. But above all courageous.

Stern defended free speech, was fired for it repeatedly. He used his platform to fight government censorship to give the finger to the man. There was a lot that was impressive about Howard Stern for sure, and that briefly allowed him to be creative.

But not anymore, today, it was the coronavirus that broke him. Maybe it is just hormonal changes or the middle age. He's now a coward. And his broadcast is about cowardice, amplifying his fears about corona over the air and attacking -- more precisely attacking anybody else who has decided to live life as a free person.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

HOWARD STERN, RADIO SHOW HOST: When are we going to stop putting up with the idiots in this country and just say you now -- it is mandatory to get vaccinated. [Bleep] them. [Bleep] their freedom.

I want my freedom to live. I want to get out of the house already. I want to go next door and play chess.

I want to go take some pictures. This is [bleep].

(END AUDIO CLIP)

CARLSON: So this is a guy who's had every vax available and he is still hiding in his basement because the vaccine works so well that he can't go out. Right.

So a lot of people disagreed when Aaron Rodgers for example, the athlete decided to make his own medical decisions about the vaccine, Howard Stern was enraged. He said Rodgers should be kicked out of the NFL.

Socializing is now off limits to Howard Stern. He scolded Oprah because she had the audacity to host -- brace yourselves -- a Christmas party.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

STERN: And I'm really amazed by Oprah, I really am. I mean, on her Instagram, she likes to take you into her house, where every night of Christmas is a big party, like a celebration, and she flies in a different chef.

And I'm -- you know, it's getting very confusing to me. You know, I see what's going on with COVID. Everyone's got it. Everyone is sick. People have 104 fever. I don't want to have 104 fever. I don't want to get sick.

So I am hiding, but everyone else is out running around. I see Oprah has got -- she is having dinner parties.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

CARLSON: So the guy was always a narcissist. Obviously, the show is about himself. But again, he had a spirit, he had bravery. But he's declined into this kind of quivering mass of neuroses and hatred; hatred that has so overtaken him that he has decided that anyone who doesn't follow his command should just go die. Listen.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

STERN: If it was up to me, anyone unvaccinated would not be admitted to a hospital. At this point, they've been given plenty of opportunity to get the vaccine.

They don't trust our government. They think that there is some conspiracy to turn them into a magnet or something like this. Now, if you don't get it, in my America, all hospitals would be close to you. You're going to go home and die.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

CARLSON: So if you don't trust the government, you don't get health care, and you should die. So the bigger question is, how did this brave creative guy become a tool? A craven tool of the powerful wishing death on his own listeners?

There is something sad about this, really sad.

Jimmy Dore has watched it happen. He is the host of "The Jimmy Dore Show," and we're happy to have him come on tonight.

So Jimmy, I'm not even attacking Howard Stern, whom I respect for his talents, which are real. But what is this that we're seeing?

JIMMY DORE, HOST, "THE JIMMY DORE SHOW": I don't know. Is there anything creepier than a guy who looks like a hippie but talks like a Fed? Not for my money. But please --

CARLSON: That's good.

DORE: Can't we all -- I mean, Howard Stern, can we -- doesn't anybody care about Howard Stern anymore? He's just a poor guy who wants to go outside and feel the breeze in his wig. That's all he wants to feel. So what is weird to me is now he went from being a bad boy to becoming Hillary Clinton's buddy. How do you do that? He is about as dangerous as a pair of plastic scissors.

So what happened is the establishment gave him $400 million and now, he is the establishment. And so now instead of standing up to the oligarchy, and standing up to the government, and standing up to authoritarianism, now he's preaching it.

And it's the crazies -- he is like a bully to get you to do things the government wants you to do, it is the opposite of freedom. It's the opposite of what comedy is supposed to be. You're supposed to use comedy to undermine the status quo and poke holes in it and make fun of it. He is now using his platform to prop up the status quo -- authoritarianism.

And by the way, he's doing exactly what the oligarchy wants him to do, which is blame your neighbor, right? He's not going to blame -- why are the hospitals so crowded?

CARLSON: Yes, exactly.

DORE: By the way, you don't want the hospital get clogged, because the next time he needs another chin liposuction, he won't be able to get in. But the point is, we have been cutting hospital beds in New York State alone, they cut 30,000 hospital beds in the last 20 years.

So we went from 1.5 million hospital beds down to 925,000 hospital beds since 1975. You know why there aren't enough ICU beds? Because it's not profitable to the private equity firms that administer our hospital emergency rooms now.

People don't know this, in 2018, I just covered it on my show, there was a huge outbreak of the flu, and guess what? Every hospital in every state was overrun and they were treating people in tents for the flu. So this idea that the COVID patient is the person you should be angry at, instead of the oligarchs who have been getting rid of hospital beds and ICU beds because they're not profitable. Of course, that's what Howard Stern does now because he is the status quo.

There is no point to him anymore. He turned in -- and so instead of -- you know, if you live long enough as a hero, you're going to, I guess, turn into Don Imus because that is what happened to Howard Stern, and it is sad to watch.

CARLSON: I don't even know what to say. Go, Jimmy Dore. He looks like a hippie, he talks like a Fed. That was so great.

It's great to see you. Thank you for that. It's perfect.

DORE: Thank you.

CARLSON: After nearly two years, the proud return of one of our favorite segments. "Final Exam" comes back tonight with Dana Perino and Jesse Watters. That's straight ahead.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CARLSON: We're bringing back a segment we haven't visited in almost two years, in February 2020, America started to get all crazy and we thought, the time is too serious for this segment. So we suspended it and then the other day we woke up and realized is there anything too serious for a game show segment? Probably not, and so it's back. "Final Exam," where we put the news professionals against one another, it is a snake pit, to see who has been paying closest attention to the news.

Have they been doing their job?

This week, two of the very best and two good friends of ours, Dana Perino, host of "The Five," "America's Newsroom," one of the smartest and most decent people we know and definitely the most decent person in the TV business.

Joining her this evening, not just saying, but it's true. Joining us tonight as well, Jesse Watters, also of "The Five," and the man who is about to take over the new show "Jesse Watters Primetime." It starts Monday, 7:00 PM right here on the FOX News Channel.

Jesse by the way, a graduate of Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut, a fact that has singlehandedly prevented that college from falling to the bottom of the U.S. news ranking, and they should be thanking you as well, and we are really glad you got that job.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Do they still claim you?

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: No, they don't claim me at all.

CARLSON: God, they're so awful. I'm so glad you're here. Okay, here are the rules.

Hands on the buzzers -- you know this, I ask the questions. The first person to buzz in gets to answer the question. You've got to wait until I finish asking before you answer once I -- you can answer, and I'll acknowledge you by saying your name. Every correct answer is worth a point, you get one wrong you lose a point. The cruel math of "Final Exam." Best of five wins. Are you ready?

WATTERS: We're ready.

PERINO: Okay.

CARLSON: All right. Question one: This is a multiple choice question. There are three choices so wait until all three are read aloud. Okay.

WATTERS: Yes.

CARLSON: While announcing he will not after all be running for the Governor of the Empire State, New York, former mayor Bill de Blasio of New York City did confess something odd and sad. He admitted that he had once played a tragic role in the accidental death of an animal. What kind of animal was it?

Wait for the answers. Was it A, subway rat, B, a groundhog, or C, his son's hamster? Dana buzzed early so it goes to Jesse say our judges, by name of Justin Wells, our EP, so you can blame him later. So Jesse, it goes to you.

What animal --

WATTERS: We're going to go with B, groundhog, Tucker.

CARLSON: The groundhog. Roll tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BILL DE BLASIO (D), FORMER MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY: Together, to make a big change. Now, I made my fair share of mistakes. I was not good with groundhogs at all.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Mayor Bill de Blasio appearing to drop Staten Island Chuck. A week after the de Blasio fumble, the groundhog did a few more events before being found at its zoo space deceased on February 9th.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: So he kills Chuck and then he laughs about it. Perfect.

PERINO: I was too anxious. I was too excited. Okay.

CARLSON: But you knew that, didn't you, Dana? Of course, you did.

PERINO: I did know it, but I didn't -- I didn't realize it's like, you know on that other show "Jeopardy" where you -- I have to wait until you finish and then I can do it. Okay.

CARLSON: Exactly. But as an animal lover, I knew that you knew it.

PERINO: I know.

CARLSON: Okay, question two, another multiple choice another question in which you must wait for all options. Here it is.

In a recent interview on television, the Vice President United States offered some deep philosophical advice to the rest of us, it was much like a zen koan.

We're going to read you several quotes, you tell us which one came directly from Kamala Harris, the yogi? Was it A, "It's time for us to do what we have been doing and that time is every day," or was it B, "It's not a sizzling issue, but the shape of our democracy is an issue that affects every other issue." Or was it C, "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, a peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked." Jesse Watters, ladies and gentlemen.

WATTERS: we're going to go with A, whatever she said.

PERINO: The word salad.

CARLSON: Oh, The growl from Dana suggests she agrees, but we'll find out. Roll tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KAMALA HARRIS (D), VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: It is time for us to do what we have been doing and that time as every day.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: So, you legalize weed and that's what you get.

PERINO: It is like brushing your teeth. Like you should do that every day.

CARLSON: Every day and now is the time to do what we do every day.

PERINO: Yes, now is the time.

CARLSON: All right, question three. This is not a multiple choice. So fast fingers may have an advantage here. Yet another fast food chain followed the advice of Bill Gates and rolled out a plant based product they claim and it is a likely taste just like meat.

Among the delicious ingredients within this, potato starch, citric acid, pea fiber, which chain is behind the -- and by the way, we're just going to -- you have every reason for thinking that I was finished with the question, so I will overrule our judges, Dana, you -- I think you smacked it first. And we're just --

PERINO: I did.

CARLSON: Now, the judge say, give it to Dana. Because we like Dana. That's what they said.

PERINO: You want to know how I know this?

CARLSON: How?

PERINO: Because this product was a feature on "The Five" for Jesse's feeding frenzy. I believe you're talking about Kentucky Fried Chicken that's not chicken.

CARLSON: Well, I don't actually know. I know. I'm not going to eat it, but we're going to roll the tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You can buy it at KFC nationwide starting on Monday. Okay. Does it taste like real chicken or is it what they call chewed and glued? I can tell you this. They used a new technology this time and they will replicate the real meat muscle fibers so apparently it's good.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: No, it's not good. We tried it on "The Five" and it's not good.

PERINO: Well, it doesn't taste like chicken, but it looks like chicken. That was weird.

CARLSON: It's like the opposite of all other foods. It does look like chicken, but it tastes like chicken. But you can't go Beyond Meat anyway, it doesn't make sense.

Okay, question four. We are about to show you a woman on the screen. She's a female member of the United States Senate. There she is walking around the restaurant without a mask despite complaints from the owners and from fellow diners.

Now this senator has long lectured the rest of us, plebes, what wearing our masks. Who is she? Dana.

PERINO: I believe that was Kirsten Gillibrand.

CARLSON: You believe that was Kirsten Gillibrand of New York? Was it, indeed? I can't tell.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND (D-NY): Unfortunately, we're seeing resurgences all across America as people stop wearing masks, as they stop social distancing. We're seeing a massive spread.

And so the governor is doing what he can to make sure that New York does not have its own resurgence.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CARLSON: Dana gets it, two-two. And so that brings us to this place of peril, a place of emotional drama. Five versus the five, a two versus two. This is the final question. Are you ready?

WATTERS: Yes. Here we go.

CARLSON: This is a multiple choice. There's a children's song called "Baby Shark" that has driven parents almost to the brink of insanity for many years now, and it just set a record. Because it's so awful, it is also so popular. It's become the most viewed video in the history of YouTube.

So multiple choice. How many views does this video have? Is it A, three billion? Is it B, five billion? Or is it C, 10 billion?

Dana.

PERINO: I'm going to have to go with C, 10 billion.

WATTERS: Oh, no.

CARLSON: That is so dark. It couldn't have 10 billion, but we'll find out. Here's the tape.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(Video clip of "Baby Shark" plays.)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The children's music mega hit just set a new record on YouTube, "Baby Shark" has become the very first video ever to pass 10 billion with a B views.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Wow.

PERINO: I told Jesse that I didn't feel very good -- I didn't want to feel competitive on my way down, but I'm really glad I won.

WATTERS: Oh, man, that hurts.

CARLSON: Remember when they told us the internet was going to make us smarter. Boy, add that to the life.

PERINO: But thank you for putting that song in our head. Your viewers thank you, Tucker.

WATTERS: Thank you. I won't be able to see.

CARLSON: I've already eliminated it. Dana, you get a mouth breather mug, a specialty of the show and a camo koozie that apparently our producers made in the break room.

PERINO: I really get one?

CARLSON: Yes. Apparently, that's what Justin just said. I mean, what do I know about fulfilling orders?

PERINO: I don't think I've ever won "Final Exam" before. I'm honored. Thank you.

CARLSON: You guys are the best. Dana, congratulations. Congratulations to Jesse Watters.

WATTERS: Thanks, Tucker.

CARLSON: We'll see you next week right before our show. We're really excited.

WATTERS: All right, I'll see you then.

PERINO: Thanks, Tucker.

CARLSON: Thank you. That's it for tonight's "Final Exam." Tune in next time to see if you can beat the experts.

We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CARLSON: We've told you about the Biden administration's latest attack on the civil liberties of its political opponents. The Justice Department has just created a new division devoted to harassing and imprisoning conservative activists. These are people Joe Biden routinely refers to as white supremacist.

Now, white supremacist is a term you will notice that Joe Biden never defines. Yet, he would like us to believe that this shadowy group of mysterious bad people poses quote, "The most lethal threat to the homeland." In other words, they're worse than al-Qaeda. It's completely ridiculous. Everything about it is ridiculous.

You had Biden and his minions keep repeating this talking point and upping the stakes as they do. Last week, the administration indicted 11 January 6 protesters on charges of sedition.

You ought to read the indictments, they're fascinating. The first thing you learn is that these people are not al-Qaeda. They are patriotic veterans, working class people, the elderly. They love their country, far more than the bureaucrats who indicted them do.

But at the same time, as you read their text to each other in the indictments which the government secretly gathered. It's obvious that they are terrified. These are people who genuinely believe the United States is falling apart.

Why do they believe that? That's a question we ought to ask ourselves, but rarely do.

The main reason they are so upset is because life for them in America has become measurably worse over the course of their lifetimes, and here is one thing that has changed dramatically.

Communication isn't private anymore in this country. In the US, it is now virtually impossible to communicate with anyone, anywhere without the chance that somebody else is listening to you. Every text you sent, every e-mail, every supposedly secure and encrypted messaging app you use. All of it can be monitored by utterly politicized government agencies working in concert with utterly politicized tech companies, and much of it is.

Everyone who pays attention knows this is true. We live in a surveillance state. These Germans would be envious.

Now, we underestimate how destabilizing and destructive it is to live in a surveillance state. Human beings need privacy. Privacy is a prerequisite for freedom. Privacy is also essential to mental health.

Crazy people often imagine they have no privacy. That's the hallmark of their mental illness. They think other people are reading their thoughts. But what if they're right?

Ten years ago, if someone had told you the government was intercepting their e-mails, you would have been pretty sure that person was mentally unbalanced. If you heard it now, you'd probably assume, well, that's true, because it very well might be true.

Think about what that means. What only paranoids once believed, the entire country now knows to be true. So people who are already on the edge emotionally have got to be moving swiftly around the bend. The government is driving them there.

This is dangerous, whether intentionally or not, the Biden administration is creating radicalism. They're making people volatile. They're making the country unstable. And by the way, the endless racial attacks aren't helping.

Less than a decade ago, a black man won the majority of the popular vote in this country. Maybe that was too much progress for the Democratic Party, because ever since, they've been screaming about how you're a racist.

Most Americans have done a pretty good job of ignoring this and just tuning it out. But then you wake up one morning, and they're handing out life- saving medical treatment on the basis of skin color, along with jobs, promotions, college acceptances, and untold billions in Federal contracts, et cetera.

Now, the last thing you want to do is think about your own country in racial terms. That's awful. Nobody wants that. But at this point, they're forcing it. It's all incredibly unhealthy. It's making people insane, and at some point, it may drive someone to do something truly awful.

In the summer of 1992, Federal agents murdered an unarmed woman and a child at a place called Ruby Ridge in Idaho. Less than a year after that, Bill Clinton's Justice Department killed more than 80 people -- 80 Americans during a siege in Waco, Texas. Dozens of children were shot and burned to death and the media at the time and now acted like all of this was no big deal, perfectly normal, but the public knew better.

One borderline personality type responded to all this by buying fertilizer and fuel oil and in the spring of 1995, blew up 168 people at the Federal Building in Oklahoma City. It was awful.

Imagine if something like that happened now. We would never recover.

Violence against innocence is always wrong. It's always tragic, no matter who commits it. It's not a political question. It's a moral questions and it is an absolute. But in a political environment like this one where the people in charge are already salivating at the thought of going full Soviet, the U.S. as we know it would be over, right away.

Our core freedoms would disappear overnight, we would be enslaved. That would be a disaster on top of a disaster.

So far, there is no suggestion that that will happen in this country. In the face of vicious provocation, cruelty and persecution, conservatives have remained calm and nonviolent, and thank God for that.

Let's sincerely hope they stay that way.

So they pulled the statue of Teddy Roosevelt down in New York City. It has been there for 80 years. Vandals took it down, vandals posing as politicians. Why did they do that? Because he was too impressive. That's why.

We'll explain next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CARLSON: Teddy Roosevelt became President in 1901. He was one of the greatest Americans who ever lived. Roosevelt was a scholar. He was a sportsman, a soldier. He's a statesman. He was the father of six. He was the youngest President in our history.

On the average day, Teddy Roosevelt wrote more words, read more books, played more games more vigorously, and made more significant decisions than the average person does in a month, including present company.

He was the paragon of masculine energy, as well as a thoroughly decent person. If your son grew up to be Teddy Roosevelt, you would die happy. So of course our current leaders hate Teddy Roosevelt.

Roosevelt's life magnifies their mediocrity and their utter smallness. They are nothing compared to the man Teddy Roosevelt was and they know that, plus he was the wrong color.

So this week, vandals posing as politicians tore down Teddy Roosevelt statue. That statute that had stood for more than 80 years in the same place where it should have been right in front of the American Museum of Natural History in Manhattan.

So, if you're going to take over the country and turn into something awful, it is dangerous for people to know that men like Teddy Roosevelt once existed here in the United States.

You can't let them know, you can't speak his name, you must erase him. The details of his life are dangerous.

By the way in October, in Manhattan they just put up a statue of George Floyd, the violent criminal and drug addict. He is a role model now. It tells you everything.

Have a great night. Sean Hannity now.

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