James Comey not out of the woods yet amid ongoing probes

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James Comey not out of the woods yet amid ongoing probes

Fired FBI Director James Comey remains a possible target of Michael E. Horowitz's investigation into alleged FISA abuse; reaction and analysis on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 30, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello. I am Dana Perino with Emily Compagno, Donna Brazile, Lawrence Jones and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City and this is "The Five."

2020 Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden facing major scrutiny for yet another blunder made on the campaign trail. This time, he is being accused of telling a false war story while describing security concerns and traveling to war torn Afghanistan when he was vice-president.

Now, Biden says he was trying to honor a navy captain who refused to receive the Silver Star from him for his heroism.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, D-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Four-star general asked me would I go up into the fob. And everybody got concerned. The vice-president going up in the middle of this, but there were -- we can lose the vice-president. We can't lose many more of these kids. It's not a joke.

This guy climbed down a ravine and carried this guy up on his back under fire. And the general wanted me to pin the Silver Star on him. I got up there in the stand. This is God's truth, my word as a Biden. He stood at attention. I went to pin him, he said, "Sir, I don't want the damn thing. Do not pin it me, sir! Please sir! Do not do that! He died."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: The "Washington Post" calling out Joe Biden over that story saying the former V.P. he mixed up several events, jumbling them together to create a false narrative. And Biden pushing back on the controversy and wondering what the big deal was.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: I was making a point how courageous these people are, how incredible they are, this generation of warriors, these fallen angels we've lost. And so -- that -- I don't know what the problem is. I mean, what is it that I said wrong?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: All right, Lawrence, what do you make of all this?

LAWRENCE JONES, CONTRIBUTOR: I don't think it's the lying. I mean, most people believe that politicians lie. I think that's kind of baked in (ph) with the voters. Politicians just lie all the time.

I do think there is something going on with Biden. I mean, he's lost a step. I mean, it's one thing to gaffe, but he could not even remember President Obama's name the other day and that he just reserved to call him his boss.

What makes this such a big thing going into the next debate is that these young people are going to start to frame it -- if they are willing to take off the gloves, they can make this argument -- Biden is too old, right.

He is too old and you see that he is too old. And so it's just not about new ideas now. It's a matter of can the president actually remember intelligence right now when he has to make a decision if he goes to the Oval Office?

And I think Democrats are going to have to have a conversation about this electability thing. If your candidate cannot remember things, I don't think he can go on debate stage and defeat Donald Trump.

DONNA BRAZILE, CONTRIBUTOR: Well, let's not attribute this gaffe, whatever it is, to age because there are a lot of people who are older than Joe Biden who still got it going on. And then -- see Greg and I, we are seasoned.

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Yes.

BRAZILE: Right, Greg?

GUTFELD: I would say that.

BRAZILE: We're seasoned, but --

GUTFELD: So you're thinking it was the head injury?

BRAZILE: No, I am saying that sometimes when you have a lot of information in your brain and you try to put it out your mouth, it comes across like you are jumbling the story. So --

JONES: But he did jumble it.

BRAZILE: Oh, he jumbled it. Look, the facts are there, OK. But most people know Joe Biden's character. They know his value system. They know that he visited Iraq and Afghanistan over 21 times as a United States senator and vice-president. But this story the way it came across and it came out, heartfelt because people know that Joe Biden is heartfelt that's why I continue to touch him and I'll touch you just to show you --

GUTFELD: He touches a lot of people.

BRAZILE: He touches with his heart.

GUTFELD: And his hands.

PERINO: The media -- the "Washington Post" decided to they're going to check in on this and try to make a big deal out of it, but it might not hurt him.

GUTFELD: Well, you know what, he tells a good story.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: He is kind of like a child, you know. I was president of Mars and we built a balloon raft and we went to Australia and I met lions and tigers and giraffes and then I had rhubarb pie. It was the best pie I ever had. That's my impression.

But here's the problem. It may not be that funny because you can -- I think you can end a presidency like that. I am not sure you can start one. You can't start a presidency already kind of like slow and -- I mean, I like Joe Biden a lot and if he leaves this is race, which I think he will. I do think he will.

JONES: Oh, wow.

GUTFELD: Then it's Fantasy Island without Mr. Roarke or Tattoo. It's basically all supporting cast. And I think that if he leaves, I don't know who else is there. But I see this and I go like, this is -- there is something else there that makes it so that the joke is not that funny.

PERINO: And it's like he's not so much driving new stories on his own. Like the stories are driving him so, stories about all of these other things like he's not out there making the news. The news is coming to him.

EMILY COMPAGNO, HOST: Sure, he's reacting to it in that way. What I find so disturbing as a voter is the notion being put forth by his defenders that we're in some type of post-truth era.

That there is a spectrum and that, well, it's not as bad as this so it's OK that his misstatements and misspeaks and gaffes are not the same as quote, you know, Trump's purposeful daily assaults on the truth and well, these are just slips.

But what Trump does is a horribly, you know, bending the truth and it's been -- it's a historically an assault. All of these things to me as a voter I deserve the truth all the time, end of story, period.

And I don't want my commander-in-chief representing me in international diplomacy and negotiations with someone that, was he going to say the wrong story? Is he going to be called out later and humiliated?

PERINO: Well, one thing I think, Donna, I wanted to ask you about is to Lawrence's point. So now we have the upcoming debate. You will only have 10 of them on stage. It's the first time that the three front -- three to four frontrunners will be n stage together.

I have a theory that Elizabeth Warren or Bernie Sanders will not go after Joe Biden for things like this. I think they will go after him for his record like Kamala Harris did in the first time.

But with Elizabeth Warren, maybe she goes after him for his cozy relationship with the credit card companies or something like that.

BRAZILE: Right.

PERINO: Do you think that they are ready to sort of take the gloves off against the frontrunner?

BRAZILE: Why should they take the -- when you go after Joe Biden you are also going after Barack Obama in the sense that you are attacking some of the policies and some of the initiatives of that administration. That's what happened in the last debate.

GUTFELD: So they'll go back though to the '90s?

BRAZILE: So, perhaps they will, but I think the most important thing in this next debate, some of the candidates are still stuck in single digits. They better figure out a way to get back on the next stage and to use this performance to really highlight why they are running for president.

JONES: But Joe Biden can't continue to use President Obama as a shield. The reports say that President Obama said Joe you don't have to do this. And that even President Obama was concerned about Joe Biden destroying the legacy.

And so, although President Obama may not go on the attack, there are plenty of advisors out there that don't mind attacking.

PERINO: Well, I mean, but one thing I would say, Joe Biden would be the only one on the stage that's actually defending the Obama administration --

JONES: One hundred percent.

PERINO: -- I mean, pretty much everybody else is saying it didn't go far enough left.

GUTFELD: The other issue is you got to go tough on Joe because Trump will show him no mercy.

BRAZILE: Got to (inaudible) --

GUTFELD: Yes, you got to -- if you have a fighter, you're not going to tell him to relax on the beach when you are facing a steam roller.

BRAZILE: But Greg, most Americans know Joe Biden. Like I said at the beginning, they know his values or his character.

GUTFELD: If they see weakness?

BRAZILE: Yes, if they see weakness, you know what, they will try to take advantage of it, but people like him.

GUTFELD: No, but I mean, people -- I mean, people --

BRAZILE: That's why they don't want to take him down.

GUTFELD: Trump is the --

BRAZILE: Oh, we know Trump.

GUTFELD: Yes. If there's no sign of weakness when he's there, when he faces Biden, if Biden is crushed, no matter how much you like him --

JONES: That's right.

GUTFELD: -- it's going to be over.

COMPANO: And to your point, I think they know him, but they are not inspired by him. Maybe they like him but they are not excited about him. No one is excited about him whatsoever.

So on that stage, everyone is going to attack not only his policy but they're going to be putting themselves on the offense of look at me and how inspiring I am and that's what's going to be magnetic. He's going to lose all those –

PERINO: What if he goes on the offense during the debate and he's just like, you know --

BRAZILE: Oh, my god. Yes --

PERINO: -- I'm going to take on you and you and by the way, and you, and you?

GUTFELD: That would be good. That would be good.

BRAZILE: Yes. Suppose he go up and say what have you done lately, Kamala?

JONES: I don't think he's going to do that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BRAZILE: What have you done lately, Bernie? What have you done --

JONES: His campaign -- I was on the campaign trail in Iowa with him and his campaign is clearly trying to keep him away from the public, right. He has a teleprompter in front of him. Other candidates went in the lobby to greet people at the union. Joe went through the back door.

And so the campaign realizes, the people that are (inaudible) to protect Joe Biden, that there is a problem going on. Whether it is memory or whatever it maybe or he is just lying, and they don't want him out there in front of the --

BRAZILE: No, he's not.

JONES: Well, he is getting a lot of things wrong and it begs for a concern.

BRAZILE: But, you know, the king of lies is the person who is currently in the White House at 12,000 according to the "Washington Post." So, I think the vice president misspoke. Hee got his facts wrong. He got his story wrong, but he's still the frontrunner.

PERINO: I think it won't necessarily hurt him in the primary, but all these things --

GUTFELD: You know, the thing is --

PERINO: -- Last word to you?

GUTFELD: Well, I would say that Trump's lies aren't based on any kind of mental deficiency. He's basically lying for us, right? He always thinks that this lie -- this lie is going to help us in the long run. It's not because he's forgetful or he's losing his faculties. You can hate Trump all you want, but you know when he is up there, he knows what day it is.

JONES: Yes.

BRAZILE: I am not sure that I would agree with that.

PERINO: Well, we know that it's Friday and TGIF that it is. Republicans out with a new warning for former FBI Director James Comey in the wake of the I.G.s blistering report, next on "The Five."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BRAZILE: There is more fallout for former FBI director James Comey after the I.G. report found out he violated FBI protocol in leaking memos on his private conversations with President Trump. The president telling the disgraced director on twitter that he got lucky when he avoided prosecution. But is the worst still to come for Director Comey? Republicans think so.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. JIM JORDAN, R-OH: I'm not going to apologize. Jim Comey owes the country an apology because he put us through this for two and a half years and we know he did it. We know he did it because he was out to get the president.

REP. DOUG COLLINS, R-GA: James Comey had a personnel vendetta. He believed that his role in the FBI was one that he was the ultimate arbiter of being judge and jury on anything that he did or did not like.

REP. MARK MEADOWS, R-N.C.: Only in Washington, D.C. can you have 70 plus pages of bad news and expect an apology. But I can tell you, the Inspector General's report and the John Durham report coming out, will be more damning than this.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BRAZILE: Now, you know, I still have a bone to pick with Director Comey, but before I pick my bones, I'm going to ask Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes?

BRAZILE: Greg, should he be prosecuted for leaking his memos after being fired?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I mean, just goes back to my initial point. You can't trust tall people. Sorry Lawrence. But Comey was abnormally tall and short people are just more trustworthy. We're more down-to-earth. We don't pull this crap.

The real jack asses in all of these are the media who painted him as a cross between Jimmy Stuart and Paul Revere when really he was just a conniving Forrest Gump chasing the spotlight.

The media pinned their hopes on him on doing an election and he was their tool, literally. The upside is, he and McCabe, I hear are getting a game show on CNN, it's called "Leak, Lose or Draw."

BRAZILE: But Dana, is he getting a taste of his own medicine?

GUTFELD: Courtesy laugh over here (ph).

BRAZILE: Remember when he went out and said all of the things about Hillary and then he just scorched the entire Clinton family (ph).

PERINO: It's kind of -- it's an interesting one because he actually has no natural constituency. He's alienated a lot of people. Though, I did read a real lengthy defense of the decision not to prosecute and of Comey and that these were just personal memos.

But, I just have a really hard time believing that. If I had to work under and need it (ph) to the rules about government information, and if you take notes about a conversation you have with your boss, I mean, you say that those are not government documents. I find that -- I just find that really hard to believe.

It felt to me in this defense that I've read about James Comey, they were like, well, you know, we could see that, but I just have a feeling that if it had gone the other way, that they could have written it in the same way.

BRAZILE: Which you know --

PERINO: And I think Washington is probably glad to be getting -- finished with this. I would say that Republicans that are saying, oh, the John Durham is going to be so much worse for Comey. I think let's tap the breaks on that.

Nobody needs to know that right now because then it raises suspicions in people's minds like how independent is that probe? How should you know? Maybe they get regular updates, but they shouldn't be talking about it.

BRAZILE: Well, I just got a -- I'll tell you a little bit because I want him to get a taste of his own medicine. This is what he said about Hillary Clinton. He said, "Extremely careless in their handling of very sensitive, highly classified info."

So, basically he went home or went back to his office and every time he had an interaction with President Trump he typed up a memo.

JONES: Yes.

BRAZILE: When he was fired he should have turned it over. Instead, he leaked one of those memos to a reporter because he felt that nobody would go forward to tell the truth about what happened.

PERINO: Right.

BRAZILE: So, give me your thoughts about this --

JONES: The only thing he didn't have is the server in his basement, but he had a safe. Look, people laugh at us libertarians all the time from being afraid of big government.

But James Comey shows you what happens when people in a power, when they have the power and they lose their power, how they react. The fact that he did all of this leaking and to harbor information just to get a special counsel is the most concerning thing.

The fact that he has told us this entire time -- be careful that the institutions are going to be destroyed, but he destroyed the FBI. And the I.G. said, look, the example that James Comey set for those other hundreds and thousands of FBI agents was a bad example. He set a dangerous precedent.

BRAZILE: Yes.

JONES: And I think everybody should be concerned about this.

BRAZILE: Well, he violated his employment agreement, Emily, that's clear. But the 35,000 men and women who represent the FBI clearly understand that when they signed that oath, when they signed to take that job, they should of course support the FBI. Do you think he was acting as a whistle blower?

COMPAGNO: No, I don't and especially because in the report, the I.G. specifically said, look, he was not a whistle blower. And what I love about both of your points is the fact --

GUTFELD: What about mine?

COMPAGNO: Sorry.

BRAZILE: You criticized tall people, baby. You criticized tall people, and you know what, I'm a tall girl, baby.

GUTFELD: You are. I'm sorry.

COMPAGNO: What I love about your points is that the defense of Comey has no basis in the actual report itself. The report was stating in terms of his calling it a personal record versus an official document, the I.G. said that there was no support in law.

This was wholly incompatible with plain language with him leaking the report when he said well, I did it because I love the nation. The I.G. came back and said, meanwhile, your whole team called it stunning, shocking and surprising.

Regarding the 36,000 people in the FBI, the I.G. said if any of them followed your example, the FBI would not unable to perform its duties of law enforcement. Up and down, he was absolutely ridiculed for this messianic whistleblower, self, you know, thought he had, but really, the I.G. the entire time said this is not rooted in not sanity at all.

JONES: And he also said there was a legal pathway if you wanted to be a whistle blower --

COMPAGNO: Like seven, yes.

JONES: And you just straight up ignored it.

COMPAGNO: And there were seven other lawful options -- exactly.

BRAZILE: OK, folks, you know, we're going to keep talking about this. And this is the report -- don't read it. Next up, a former Canadian prime minister igniting a fire storm after rooting for President Trump's Mar-a- Lago resort to take a direct hit from Hurricane Dorian.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

JONES: Florida and the southwest bracing for the arrival of Hurricane Dorian at the Category 3 (inaudible) toward the state. The potentially life threatening storm could make landfall early next week. Chief meteorologist, Rick Reichmuth is in the Fox Extreme Weather Center. Rick?

RICK REICHMUTH, CHIEF METEOROLOGIST: Hello, and you know, I wish that I could just have been record forecasting it a couple of days ago because it hasn't changed that much.

Know that it's going to be a very strong storm. Probably a Category 3, 4, 5, somewhere there right up the coast of Florida. And we have a lot of confidence it is going to get right there and then every bit of guidance that we have kind of falls apart.

This is the latest look at the storm. It's an incredibly organized storm at this point. Not super big, but it's covering (ph) enough time that we'll probably see it grow in size as well as the strength and how far out from the center, the strongest of the winds go.

Where we kind of lose all of our certainty is what happens? We are really good here. Northwestern Bahamas, you're going to get sacked with this storm and that looks like a given. I don't think we have anywhere around that.

Then where does the storm make this turn and get pulled up towards the north? We still cannot say. Most of our guidance still just gives a big spread somewhere here anywhere to the west side of Florida, to the east side of Florida, to the center part of Florida.

So, we know we're going to have a very strong storm. We know it's going to slow down right before it turns. Right there, it starts to make this turn. It slows down. We're going to have a prolonged event her. Does the center of it possibly stays just off-shore and then makes a land fall somewhere in Georgia or the Carolinas?

That would be maybe Thursday or Friday of next week if that would happen. Or does it make landfall here across central southern Florida and to go right up the peninsula or maybe out the west. We still don't know, unfortunately.

Probably now it looks like at this point we won't know maybe until Sunday morning or so where we really think that turn is going to go. That means everybody in Florida, Georgia, the Carolinas, just continue to make your preps as if the storm is coming right towards you, Lawrence.

JONES: Thanks, Rick.

REICHMUTH: You bet.

JONES: Now, to an outrageous tweet from former Canadian Prime Minister Kim Campbell, who told the world she's rooting for President Trump's Mar-a-Lago reseort to take a direct hit from Dorian. She has since deleted it and apologized for the discussing tweet but is yet another example of the out of control discord that occurs on the platform.

Donna, I'll go to you. You've experienced this in New Orleans and you were able to work with Republicans to make sure they got, you know, assistance, but why has this turned political?

BRAZILE: I don't know. I don't know why when -- even when Dorian was trying to make landfall of doing some island-hopping and looking at Puerto Rico and people were doing all these crazy tweets. Stop it. Storms are unpredictable.

We don't know what path they will take. But we do know this, that they are destructive in nature. They don't care if you live in a lake front home or Mar-a-Lago or just a normal house. Be prepared.

She made a huge mistake. And I would hope that we would do everything in our ability to help those who may not be able to evacuate, to help those who are still trying to find water, batteries, fuel because when these storms make landfall, you've to get the you know what out the --

GUTFELD: Watch your mouth.

BRAZILE: I'll wash my mouth later with Cabernet just for you.

JONES: Dana, when she was talking about that, do you think it occurred to her and she said it was tongue in cheek, but -- right, because hurricanes are so funny.

BRAZILE: No, that was stupidity. That's stupidity.

GUTFELD: I mean --

JONES: She says Mar-a-Lago as if could only target one house.

PERINO: Yes. This is tongue in tweet, OK.

JONES: Right.

PERINO: This is exactly what happens when people tweet things that they probably shouldn't then they're like, oh, actually well, this is what I meant. You just don't know what my tone was. This is a person who was a former prime minister --

JONES: Prime minister.

PERINO: Just prime minister of about five minutes. Maybe this is why. Also, one of the things that she has said is that she is disgusted about the United States and our energy consumption, right? Well, Canada is the 7th largest producer of oil in the world.

GUTFELD: Nice.

PERINO: They cut down 500 million trees a year and they act like they don't have some sort of environmental impact on the world? It was super unfortunate, but also just like with all things. If you are going to tweet something like this, it will come back to hurt you, so just don't tweet.

BRAZILE: Don't tweet.

JONES: Great. Political differences, the desire, I guess, the response should be a national disaster. I mean, is that the same -- I mean, they've been telling Donald Trump, civility, civility, calm down, but look at this.

GUTFELD: Twitter is a Category 5 of jerk faces. You go there, people just change. By the way, this might be the rudest thing to ever come out of Canada. I mean, this is so not Canada. This the rudest thing since maybe Tom Green, right.

I mean, I can't think -- like this is why it's so shocking, Canada!? We are the jerks on this continent, not you. But I can get myself in trouble right now. Should I just not do a defense of price gouging? The producer told me not to.

No, I just don't understand whey they don't present two sides to why prices go up, right. No, no, no, it's a preventive (ph) run on inventory because if -- which leads to shortages.

So when people have -- I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. This is like the prime minister tweeting. OK, so if you leave your water, OK, you have 10 jugs of water. You leave at the low price. Somebody comes in and for 20 buck buys it all and then sells it down the road.

So, basically by raising prices you prevent a run on the inventory from people who will actually price gouges.

BRAZILE: Remember this is the end of the month and this is what happened with Katrina. And tare lots of people who do not have the means to go out and get things.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BRAZILE: Or the means to depart when they say evacuate. So, we need to think about them. And remember, there are parts of Florida that's still healing after the last storm.

JONES: Got to get Emily. What are your thoughts?

COMPAGNO: Absolutely. I think that Twitter for some reason is where everyone goes when they think that their voice is hilarious or awesome or fresh and it's all tiresome and especially - yes, she served the third shortest term in Canadian Prime Minister history--

JONES: Yet a lot of time on our hand.

COMPAGNO: Right and the Canadians consider her service as literally they say she went - she took the party from defeat to disaster and after she was basically kicked out of office, it was the greatest political defeat in history. So, it's the pot tweeting the kettle or whatever. Also, yes, these kinds of storms to politicize, to detract again attention from what really is important is just ridiculous and it's--

BRAZILE: But I still love Canada. I love Canada.

GUTFELD: Wait, can I just make a note, Lawrence. Hold on. I want to disown everything I said about price gouging.

JONES: OK.

BRAZILE: Thank you.

JONES: We've got to go. A bizarre new fashion trend, a chocolate bar admits to promote diversity. And a robot invasion. Don't go anywhere, the Fastest 7 is the next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COMPAGNO: Welcome back. Time for the Fastest 7. First up, can we all agree that many people love their heels. But this next story might be taking things a step too far. Check out these new shoes. This bizarre new trend called the big toe heel proudly and loudly exposing that likely hideous big toe of yours for all the world to see and taken. These shoes apparently selling out like hotcakes. Some are selling upwards of $1000.

JONES: This is nasty.

BRAZILE: $1000.

COMPAGNO: Someone getting a target on it, like someone to step on it or--

PERINO: I think fashion designers do this once in a while where they come up with some sort of like prank and then they'd see like how many people they can get to do it, they pay a couple of models to wear these shoes and then really ridiculous people will spend a $1000 on gross shoes like that.

GUTFELD: I heard Dick Morris is going to sponsor these.

BRAZILE: Oh! Stop it.

GUTFELD: What?

BRAZILE: I don't want my--

GUTFELD: Tell my cousin Dick Morris.

BRAZILE: I want to keep my fingers and my toes together, so no. I'm against it.

COMPAGNO: Socks separate feel good.

GUTFELD: Do you know what the thing is, just high heels in general are bizarre and strange. Do you know that they were invented by Persian men in the 10th century, because it was supposed to allow women to sit in stirrups on a horse, which raises--

PERINO: That make sense.

GUTFELD: But then why didn't men wear them.

JONES: Well, Prince wore.

GUTFELD: Well, that's true. But he could wear them because he was a Prince.

JONES: Only Prince.

GUTFELD: But they use an excuse so the women would wear them.

PERINO: Or maybe they also had them because they were short.

GUTFELD: That could be true. Yes.

COMPAGNO: Lawrence, what do you do if you went out to dinner and the girl your meeting shut up in this?

JONES: Check please.

COMPAGNO: All right. Awesome. Next up, Candy Company Cadbury drawing mockery online after rolling out a new candy bar in India aimed at promoting diversity. The four in one "unity bar" features four types of chocolate, dark, blended, milk and white. The social media backlash was fierce. "This is as absurd as Kendall Jenner fighting police brutality with a Pepsi." Wrote one user and congratulations to Cadbury for solving racism. Wrote another, this to me totally is another example of such a big--

BRAZILE: OK, look, how did you get that.

PERINO: What was that. You've got that in office.

BRAZILE: Of course, I've got it.

GUTFELD: What color did you eat.

BRAZILE: I'm not sharing until Halloween.

PERINO: OK.

GUTFELD: This is the worst virtue signaling is corporate, virtue signaling because they're not doing it because they care, they're doing it because they're scared, they're frightened.

PERINO: And so that they will write a story about it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BRAZILE: This is great.

GUTFELD: No, but the thing is - so it makes you wonder. So, what is Cadbury hiding. You know it's like you know the chocolate, where chocolate comes from some of the poorest countries on earth. They employ poor people employed - some employed children - well, employing poor people is good, employing children on plantations. So, I think this is their way of saying we're the good people, activists don't come after us. Look at our chocolate. It's phony.

BRAZILE: I think it's great. Have you--

JONES: Are you serious?

BRAZILE: Have you ever had white chocolate cake with white chocolate icing. Now people know that chocolate--

JONES: That's not what I did, Donna.

BRAZILE: All about colors, I love it.

JONES: You're right. I do like different type of--

GUTFELD: You like white chocolate?

BRAZILE: Of course, I love white chocolate. What's wrong with you?

GUTFELD: I don't know.

JONES: I love all different types of chocolate. Sometimes you can put it together now that all chocolate is good.

GUTFELD: You're white chocolate nationalist.

JONES: But the problem is they didn't do it for you to enjoy the chocolate, they did it to virtual signal.

PERINO: No, they did it for selfie.

BRAZILE: We are talking about it.

PERINO: Sell away.

BRAZILE: This is going to be a hit next--

PERINO: Sell away.

BRAZILE: Valentine's.

GUTFELD: I don't believe it.

COMPAGNO: Sell away says Dana. OK. Finally, for years we've been warned that the robot invasion is coming. Look no further than your nearest Wal- Mart for your first glimpse. The retail giant is deploying robots to some of their stores this year that can scan shelves and scrub the floors. Shoppers will be soon walking down the aisle side-by-side with our future robot overlords. And one customer is asking this important question.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Everything's automated services, so I don't know if starting to be a little bit scary. Are machines taking over?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

COMPAGNO: Well, I feel like of course they're taking over. It's been a long time that this has been happening. And also, that's what happens when you demand higher wages. Of course, you have to replace human--

GUTFELD: Humans are weak.

COMPAGNO: Wage earners with--

GUTFELD: Humans who are weak, Emily. Robots are strong. So, you might as well just get with the program and embrace them now because they're coming for all of us. There'll be a robot five in 2050.

The reason why actually they won't - the reason why they won't replace us. There is nothing gratifying about yelling at something automated like that unbending mind of non-conscious worker. The vending machine, right. The credit card billing system on phone, your Nest thermostat. Whenever there is something wrong, you feel this internal violence that you can't - that gets worse because you can't talk to somebody.

You need the human person to yell at.

PERINO: And also, like today is the 50th - I think its today's the 50th anniversary of the ATM machine.

GUTFELD: Really?

PERINO: Yes. And people thought the ATM was going to end banks.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Banks. Just ask Elizabeth Warren. Banks are doing well.

JONES: I think this is a lawsuit waiting to happen. There's no way that robot is not going to run over somebody and the moment it does somebody is going to get a big fat check.

BRAZILE: Can you imagine that that robot in the liquor section and run into the bottles, when I come into the store that robot is going to get fired.

COMPAGNO: Wasn't it between a robot cleaning the floors at Wal-Mart and the one that mows our grass, automated or the--

PERINO: What robot mows our grass.

JONES: I've been looking--

BRAZILE: Yes, like what.

GUTFELD: That person is real, Emily.

PERINO: Like a grass Roomba.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: We just did a hero home dedication the other day to a wounded veteran and part of that gift was--

PERINO: Automatic, like a robotic lawnmower.

COMPAGNO: Yes, totally.

GUTFELD: The point is just, accept it. Accept it. We are all almost robots with our phones now because we're walking around with a phone that has all this information. We use it. We're part of it. Just embrace it. It's part of life. Artificial life.

BRAZILE: You're not replaceable. I want you to stick around the 2050. OK.

GUTFELD: I'll be the small smelly creature over here.

COMPAGNO: The other things--

GUTFELD: I'll be ahead in of that.

COMPAGNO: If we use robots to replace the things that don't really need a human then it frees up humans to maintain the positions where we do really want an actual human to talk to.

GUTFELD: That is true.

COMPAGNO: Right.

GUTFELD: Communication, creativity.

JONES: But see, here's the deal. This is why the minimum wage crap needs to just chill out.

BRAZILE: Come on.

JONES: Because it is, this is why because they're going to keep replacing you.

PERINO: I like it when you disagree with that.

JONES: They just need to chill out.

BRAZILE: We need to pay everyone a living wage, so people can afford--

GUTFELD: Robots don't need a living wage because they're not alive.

JONES: You can go and create your own business, which I think--

GUTFELD: They work for free.

BRAZILE: But you have to put them somewhere at night to get plugs up.

COMPAGNO: OK. All right. So, don't go--

GUTFELD: So, whatever.

COMPAGNO: Anywhere everyone. Fan Mail Friday is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Little bass with the AC/DC. Fan Mail Friday. Let's go. All right. This is from Alex G. If you could create and teach any college class, what would it be, Emily.

COMPAGNO: I always have to go first. I don't know, but it would be something about - I don't know the sky's the limit, something - my brain. Something about dance. OK, fine. Something about dancing, choreography.

GUTFELD: Yes. You were cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders.

COMPAGNO: Yes. So, something about that. It exists. The problem is everything exists. Along these lines.

GUTFELD: The problem is Donna, everything exists.

BRAZILE: Well, we don't take civics in class. So, I would teach civics. I'm at Georgetown, start again next week. My 18th year. I just love civics.

JONES: My course would be why you don't need college. And explain to them why they need to stop wasting their money.

PERINO: Mine would be some practical tips early on about how to succeed in the workplace and not irritate your boss.

GUTFELD: My would be on how to get away with a series of unsolved killings in the mid to late 1980s.

COMPAGNO: That's a good one.

GUTFELD: Yes, this is good one. I do, I have a lot of papers in my basement.

JONES: Course.

GUTFELD: All right. Bradley S. from Facebook. If your old high school teacher, Dana were asked what career they thought you'd end up doing as an adult, what would they say?

PERINO: I think I was pretty focused on what I wanted to do and even though I took this really long circuitous route to get here, I think they would say that what I'm doing now. Probably more like the Daily Briefing rather than The Five, because The Five didn't exist because The Five is the best show ever.

GUTFELD: That is true.

PERINO: Never thought of it ever.

GUTFELD: That is true.

PERINO: So, I think they would say that I'd be doing this, yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. Just sitting around talking, clutching--

PERINO: They would not think I would be serial killer.

GUTFELD: Clutching your mug--

PERINO: Do you know how cold it is in here.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's very cold. Lawrence.

PERINO: How cold is it, Lawrence.

JONES: Yes, it's pretty cold, like ice bucket in here. My teacher would probably say a lawyer or some politician because I was always debating them in class, so I probably wouldn't be shocked that I'm on TV.

GUTFELD: Donna.

BRAZILE: Well, my teachers like my parents told me to shut up, so they probably envisioned that I would be doing something with my mouth.

COMPAGNO: Same. I think they wouldn't be surprised, I'm in this position, attorney, dancer, performing arts.

PERINO: It really makes all that sense. Attorney, dancer.

BRAZILE: What about Greg.

GUTFELD: They said I would be doing something with my mouth, but they never specified what. All right. So, whistle. I was the best whistler in my class. I could whistle for hours.

BRAZILE: OK.

JONES: OK.

GUTFELD: Frenchie F. asks when you make an entrance into a party or event, what is the first thing you do.

COMPAGNO: Greet everybody and you always yell at me and you always say, you don't have to say hi to everyone, but you do. You say, hello. Hi, everybody like how are you guys.

JONES: I totally agree.

COMPAGNO: Yes.

JONES: It ticks me off when people don't greet, it's rude.

COMPAGNO: Totally.

BRAZILE: I'm going to be very honest. I make a dash for the bar.

JONES: I knew it.

GUTFELD: Of course.

BRAZILE: I'm always thirsty Greg, I need a drink.

GUTFELD: You know what I do?

BRAZILE: That's why I am sitting with this wallet.

GUTFELD: I have a drink before I get to the party, so I don't run to the bar because my wife gets mad at me. My wife goes like can't you just wait, and I go, no, I hate these things.

JONES: I agree.

GUTFELD: And I hate all of your friends. No, that's not true. I like all of her friends.

PERINO: I find the first person I can to talk to and like kind of get into on the side, then I can like survey.

GUTFELD: You're one of those.

COMPAGNO: Comfort zone.

GUTFELD: Pull somebody off and then make their lives hell.

BRAZILE: You want to know the second thing I do after I get my drink?

GUTFELD: What.

BRAZILE: Baby, I start shaking my you know what.

GUTFELD: I'm afraid to ask what that is.

JONES: Right.

GUTFELD: So, we'll just move on. This is a great question; I think about this a lot. From David G. what is legal now that won't be legal in 20 years? And what is illegal now that will become legal in 20 years?

PERINO: Emily.

GUTFELD: Emily. Yes. I have an answer for everything.

COMPAGNO: Schedule C assignments drugs basically.

GUTFELD: Yes.

COMPAGNO: So, we'll see drugs that are legal now will be illegal later and vice versa. That's so boring.

GUTFELD: It's true. Lawrence.

JONES: I think all drugs would be legal, but I think they're going to get rid of the death penalty.

GUTFELD: Interesting.

JONES: And I'm actually for the death penalty, but I think they're going to get rid of it.

GUTFELD: What about?

BRAZILE: I think these cars that drive themselves. I have a new car.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BRAZILE: You can ride with me. I shouldn't talk about the brand, because we don't want to get some competition. I believe that in the future, none of us will be able to get behind the wheel.

GUTFELD: Right.

BRAZILE: Somebody will be driving us, one of them robot.

GUTFELD: To my point is, I think that we will - 50 years from now, we will not believe that people used to drive us for money. They're going to think that's really weird like you are being how low is that that somebody would do that, so now the people that was an actual job. Dana.

PERINO: I think it will be illegal to take your shoes off on an airplane.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: It will actually be illegal.

JONES: It's nasty.

BRAZILE: This is nasty, it's really nasty.

GUTFELD: Am I the only one that gets turned on by it?

BRAZILE: Oh! Greg.

GUTFELD: I'm kidding. One More Thing is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Time for One More Thing. I'm going to go first. This reporter from our Fox affiliate in Phoenix. He was nearly struck by lightning Wednesday night while getting ready for a live report. That's how close it was. We will play it for you again. His name is Matt Rodewald, he's a reporter at FOX 10, they're in Phoenix. So, the bolt of lightning struck and he just kind moved. But then you know what, because he's an awesome Fox News guy. He got right back in there. That was right before nearly 20,000 people had power outages.

I mean that's close. Thank goodness. He was OK. Matt, we love you and we love our Fox News reporters. Greg.

BRAZILE: Be safe.

GUTFELD: I think that was fake. Do you think so?

PERINO: No.

GUTFELD: All right. Hey, my show, I don't know what to say. My show tomorrow night. Saturday August 31st guess who is on, Dana Perino, Dr. Drew Pinsky, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, that's tomorrow, August 31st 10 PM. Watch it or we're no longer friends. Let's do this. Animals Are Great.

PERINO: Five in a row.

GUTFELD: What are you talking, I know you don't like this. People love it. Pretty excited. We've got some good news swag coming out with their stuff. Maybe but this theme is dogs and water. First one, there is a dog that has never been in water before. Look at that. You can't believe it.

BRAZILE: I love that.

GUTFELD: Can't believe it. He's never been in water. And then you've got to check out, this is my favorite one. Another one.

JONES: Water.

GUTFELD: This one's my favorite.

BRAZILE: That's my favorite, I like that Greg.

GUTFELD: Open up the car door. You show the thing where the car door is - there you go. Look at that. Just couldn't wait. And that is why, Animals Are Great.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Oh! Stop it.

PERINO: Lawrence.

JONES: All right. You think you have nerves of steel. Check out this bar patron. How he reacted to armed robbery. There he is hanging out, relax and taking a sip of beer while all the other bar patrons hit the deck. Then the robber tries to grab his phone, but this guy is not having it. He even lit up a cigarette while the thief is pointing a gun in his face. Either this guy is cold as ice or just doesn't care about anything. Look at the guy, just lighting it up.

The robber eventually made it off with some cash and other items and the police are still looking for him. Look at this guy.

GUTFELD: They arrested the guy for smoking. Can't smoke in a bar, sorry.

JONES: That's a boss.

PERINO: (Inaudible).

GUTFELD: That is already.

PERINO: True.

JONES: It is.

PERINO: That's my turn. I was so taken with that story. Emily.

COMPAGNO: OK guys. So, we know that the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration is closely monitoring the hurricane as it strengthens as part of their preparation, they have a history making flight crew on the case. You guys meet Captain Kristie Twinning, Commander Rebecca Waddington and Lieutenant Lindsey Norman, the first all-female pilot crew to fly a hurricane recon mission.

They collected data for seven hours logging almost 4000 miles as we all pray for Florida. I also want to salute these amazing women for the very important work that they're doing.

JONES: Wow.

PERINO: It's pretty cool.

BRAZILE: Hey girl power.

PERINO: Indeed. All right, Donna, your turn.

GUTFELD: So, sexist.

BRAZILE: Hello.

GUTFELD: What about us, guys.

BRAZILE: I don't know.

JONES: Tall guys.

BRAZILE: We'll talk about you on next month. Speaking of Florida and Orlando, Epcot Center, a young boy was in line waiting his turn to see snow white. He got a little disgruntled and there was Snow White as beautiful as ever. Walking up making sure this young boy got a hug, she walked him around, made him feel comfortable. Thank you Snow White. You've now replaced Minnie Mouse. And by the way folks I'm going to confession tomorrow. I had a slip of the tongue. I said an S word, sorry.

GUTFELD: It wasn't sorry, it was another S word.

BRAZILE: Well, I said sorry.

GUTFELD: It rhymes with what. Look I don't give a--

COMPAGNO: No problem.

PERINO: Donna, we didn't even hear it here--

GUTFELD: By the way--

JONES: I'll sit right next to you.

GUTFELD: That's nothing compared to what Dana did, have you ever heard what Dana said.

PERINO: I mean it is true. And what she said is true.

JONES: Yes. This is nasty.

PERINO: Emily, is truth a defense?

COMPAGNO: Sure, in some things--

PERINO: In this case, it's truth.

COMPAGNO: In this case, it is, yes. I will defend you guys.

BRAZILE: And keep your shoes on.

JONES: It's just nasty.

PERINO: Donna will you be on Fox News Sunday.

BRAZILE: Absolutely. I'm on Fox News with Chris Wallace.

PERINO: What are you doing for the weekend, Lawrence?

JONES: I'm chilling. All right. It's been a long week. I'm going to--

PERINO: It has been a long week.

GUTFELD: I'm off next week. You guys won't see me for a week.

BRAZILE: I miss you, Greg.

PERINO: We're going to miss you so much. Are you excited for your big trip?

GUTFELD: I'm not going anywhere, way to tell people I'm out of town.

COMPAGNO: I just told everyone.

PERINO: You said, we're not going to see you for a week--

GUTFELD: It's a staycation. I'm at home, polishing my guns.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: All right.

COMPAGNO: Arlington.

PERINO: That's it for us. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend everybody. And listen to local officials down there in Florida.

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