'Gutfeld!' on media praising Biden's regime-change speech

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Gutfeld reacts to media praising Biden's regime-change speech

Greg Gutfeld responds to the White House backtracking Biden's comments critics said referred to regime change in Russia.

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," March 28, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Well, hello there. Great to see you again. Hope you had a great weekend. I know I did. Although the last thing I remember was Larry Kudlow putting on the leather mask. But I remember my childhood when I was a kid, I had a dog named Chipper. It was a miniature schnauzer that looked like a tiny German General with mange. No, think Wolf Blitzer, but with a color.

The dog drove me crazy because we lived on a street between a park and a busy street full of fast cars. And whenever the dog got out, you think it would run to the park to pee or poop, you know, like vagrants and Democrat run cities. But no, it always ran up the street towards the traffic. And as kids would have to race after him and risk our lives trying to scoop the mutt out of harm's way was a weird habit.

When offered options to pick the worst one, which seems to be a president's problem. Instead of taking a quiet walk to the park, he just loves to run right into traffic and scream World War III.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STTAES: We will have a different future, a brighter future, rooted in democracy in principle. Hope in light of decency and dignity and freedom and possibilities. For God's sake, this man cannot remain power.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, hejust said, for God's sake, this man cannot remain in power. And sadly, he wasn't talking about himself. He literally brought up regime change, pushing the war into a new phase where our president just validated exactly what Putin was thinking. He may as well have said, we're nuking Russia next week, unless they do it first. Thanks, Joe. As we inch closer to negotiations, we just took a giant step back.

It's like being on the one-yard line and you get a 10-yard penalty for holding. That's baseball, Kat.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Oh.

GUTFELD: Now I thought our policy wasn't to topple Putin. For us toppling regimes has worked out about as well as dating a stripper. At least for the people I dated when I was stripping. Biden threw gas on the fire and it's six bucks a gallon. That's really wasteful. If only someone had warned him.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I think the one thing he's got to say, this is where my expertise comes in. Stick to one essential truth. The invasion was a clear violation of international law. And don't bring up regime change.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. Who got Brad Pitt to be on "THE FIVE"? Oh, that was me. They should change the name of the show to The10, am I right? Because that's what I am. Right, Martha?

MARTHA MACCALLUM, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Absolutely. I thought that was Brad Pitt.

GUTFELD: Yes, I know. I get that a lot. I look younger. But maybe that's a question only the pope can answer. The funny part, watching the media proclaim how forceful Joe had been in his regime change talk only to watch it get walked back like an escaped prisoner being returned to his cell.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: What a powerful speech that we just heard from President Biden there.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The speech was really, really well done and it touched on several strategic points.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: That line there at the end directly to Putin, I think is the standout line from that entire speech, Wolf.

WOLF BLITZER, CNN ANCHOR: Yes. He made it clear, he wants Putin gone.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Certainly critical, certainly the message that he wanted to deliver here tonight. But that call at the end in terms of President Putin, that was something, no question about it.

BLITZER: Obviously, those words this man cannot remain in power. Very, verystrong words.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. So strong. In fact, it had to be erased in a panic. A Biden aide said the president's point was that Putin cannot be allowed to exercise power over his neighbors on the region. He was not discussing Putin's power in Russia or regime change. Sorry. So (INAUDIBLE) forgot to say all of that. Now, it's bad enough, this administration is telling us what we can and can't say. Now they're telling us what we did and we didn't hear.

Here's Joe trying to walk back his own words.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: I want to make it clear, I wasn't then nor am I now, particularly the policy change. I was expressing more outrage that I feel I make no apologies.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: All right. But that came after something else. He said that was kind of pointless.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: You're in the midst of a fight between democracies and oligarchs? Who's going to prevail? Or democracy is going to prevail on a -- and the values we share? Or autocracies going to prevail? And that's really what's at stake. So, what you're doing is consequential, really consequential.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: OK. How does this matter to the rest of the world? It only matters to us and it doesn't shorten the war. I'd only suggest that the war has a bigger mission for us, like it means more to us than it does to them. But does it? If only someone had warned him about this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: The invasion was a clear violation of international law. Don't start talking about protecting liberal democracies because places like China and Russia, they don't draw that line. It's not that important to them.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.

GUTFELD: But they do understand violation of international law. You can't get around that statement.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Who is that sexy beast? Someone should give that guy a late night show. But there were other gaffes.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Sir, deterrence didn't work. What makes you think Vladimir Putin will alter course, based on the action you've taken today?

BIDEN: Let's get something straight. Do you remember if you covered me from the very beginning, I did not say that, in fact, the sanctions would deter him? Sanctions never deter. You keep talking about that. Sanctions never deter.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, then what's their point? Are sanctions, like aroma therapy, where we just pretended works, but it just stinks up the place. And then there's this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: Ukrainian people have a lot of backbone, people have a lot of guts. And I'm sure you're observing it. And I don't mean just a military.

And you're going to see when you're there. And you -- some of you have been there. You're going to see -- you're going to see women, young people standing the middle of -- in front of a damn tankjust saying, I'm not leaving. I'm holding my ground.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, you're going to see me, you're going to see when you're there. Biden puts his foot in his mouth more than a marooned cannibal. Now, maybe no one takes what Joe says seriously, maybe the world leaders see our president like Forrest Gump. They laugh and take advantage of them. But this old dog leaves so many messes on the carpet. If only there was a product that could take care of that once and for all.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TIMPF: I am so sick of cleaning up these messes. There's got to be a better way.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, then we've got a scoop for you. Introducing the White House pooper-scooper for when the president makes a mess of things. Perfect for when your boss is talking (BLEEP)

BIDEN: For god's sake this man cannot remain power.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Or engaged in pissing contests.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: To clarify on chemical weapons, could if chemical weapons were used in Ukraine, would that trigger a military response from NATO?

BIDEN: It would trigger response in kind.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It even works on verbal diarrhea.

KAMALA HARRIS, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Talking about the significance of the passage of time. Right? The significance of the passage of time. So, when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Eighty-one million people can't be wrong. Order yours today. Shipping may take 12 to 14 months due to supply chain issues.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Wearing mask.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, the White House saw this trip to Brussels as a way to boost the precedence sagging numbers. So, you had all these photo ops eating pizza with troops, holding a refugee child, thank God there was no hair sniffing. And meeting with other so-called world leaders. But really if you wanted to enhance his status, he's just should have stayed home and dated Pete Davidson. It's sad, Joe's been in politics for over five decades, six if you count his first year as president.

He was a V.P. for eight, been to a lot of countries, met all the players and of course knows Ukraine, like the back of Hunter's laptop. But in politics the longer you're in it the dumber and more detached you become. It's the only profession where experience counts against you. And the higher the stakes the more Biden screws up. Look, we know Putin violated international law and follows it with bomb and the crap out of Ukraine.

So why help him at home by indulging his fears? It's just like telling Jesse Watters he's losing his hair. It only makes him angrier.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. In the interest of time, her bio list of people she hasn't interviewed. Anchor of "THE STORY," Martha MacCallum. We call him Scrooge McDuck because he's an expert on money and hates wearing pants. Host of "KUDLOW" on Fox Business and former director of the National Economic Council, Larry Kudlow. The only thing she does by the book is stealing from libraries.

Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. And if Will Smith's slapped him, he'd be getting his Oscar posthumously. My massive psychic and the NWA World Television Champion, Tyrus. Oh, Martha, Martha, Martha, Martha, what is going on with this administration? Should we be worried? Like I feel like they -- I feel like the Ukraine -- you - though, Ukraine, Ukraine wants this to end. But like -- but Biden is just making it last longer by stupidity, or is that just me?

MACCALLUM: That's just you.

GUTFELD: OK. That's my feeling.

MACCALLUM: You know, I mean, I think that -- I think that Zelenskyy would love for this to end, although every time they talk about negotiations, they seem to be at absolute opposite sides of the fence. With regard to the president and the things that he says, I think, honestly, he would be better off not walking it back at all and just letting it lie.

LARRY KUDLOW, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Right.

MACCALLUM: I mean, you know, no matter what you think of President Trump versus President Biden, you know that President Trump would never have walked back and comment like that. We remember the tweets that he said about the North Korean leader. But I also think that the smarter way to go with this kind of language is more along the lines of what we heard from President Reagan in terms of empowering the people of Russia, and encouraging them to potentially make different choices in the future about their world and about the kind of world that they want to live in.

Then it's a dig at Putin is sort of saying we recognize the fact that many of the people who live in your country are probably against this war, and are probably against you in what you're doing without calling for regime change. It also reminded me of President Obama who told us time and time again, that Assad's days were numbered.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACCALLUM: And that he must go. And all across the country, the feeling was, well, this guy, there's no way he's going to last.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACCALLUM: His days are numbered. But guess what? He's still there. So, those things have a way of sticking around. And you have to be decisive. And if you're going to say something, like he said the other day, you just have to stick by it.

GUTFELD: Yes. Larry, what do you make of that saying regime change? I mean, that -- is that a good thing or a bad thing?

KUDLOW: You know, Biden, who is totally bewildered. He can't say anything right. Yet our troops going into Ukraine. He won't give Zelenskyy the weapons. He's cognitively disabled. It's awful story. He's weak. He's intimidated by Putin. But he said the only good sentence of his entire presidency, OK? Which had a Reagan feel to it. I'll probably be criticized for this. Nobody agrees with me.

And he said it. He said it. You know, I mean, Reagan used to say they when -- they say we win, they lose. Reagan used to say evil. Biden never attacks Putin directly. He never knocks him in the nose like he should. He has called him a war criminal. It was like pulling teeth to get out of it. It was a Fox reporter that got it out of it. He should call him a crook and corrupt because he has $700 million yacht sitting off the coast --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Don't get jealous, Larry.

KUDLOW: I don't. So, the, you know, Putin robbed the Russian working folks for the last three decades. But Martha's right in some sense. Biden said it, he took a whack at them.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Stick with it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: I mean, the people that jumped on Biden the fastest were the people in his own administration.

MACCALLUM: I know.

GUTFELD: Yes. Which is absolutely pathetic.

GUTFELD: Who is that by the way? Who is -- who is the person that's doing the jumping? We're trying to figure that out in The Five. We don't know who it is.

KUDLOW: Well, I mean, ostensibly, it was Antony Blinken. I don't know who started it, but it was Blinken, his secretary of state. I mean, Biden -- look, he took one whack at him. It's the only decent thing Biden said in a year or 14 months. Let it stand. Don't walk it back. Let it stand.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, given my many years of foreign policy experience going back to the 80s. I would disagree with Mr. Kudlow and saying that if you want to engage in negotiation, you don't demonize the other side. What side do you take? And remember, you work for me.

TIMPF: I do, which is actually OK. So, for Biden, he's not a guy -- that wasn't in like the prepared speech.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: I just don't think he's a guy who should be riffing.

GUTFELD: No.

TIMPF: I just think he shouldn't be riffing. And going back to my job, I think it's the difference between he was just saying, oh, hey, I was just saying how I feel but it's because of who you are that it was such a big deal.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: So, if I see someone on Twitter who's like, oh, Kat is so annoying, like get rid of a replace. I think she should be replaced. I'm not going to think about it too much. If I heard you say that, that would be a little more concerning to me. Because you could actually do something about that. Just like Biden can actually do something about that. So, that's why -- that's why it matters.

GUTFELD: Don't check your voicemail.

KUDLOW: Can I -- Can I just say one thing --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Reagan pounded the evil empire, and its dictators and its Politburo czars, and then -- and then not only wound up making a deal that was to his advantage, you wouldn't give up SDI, remember that? And then the Soviet Union fell. Another words, sometimes you got to whack them a bunch of times to show that you at least have some manhood. Biden's problem is he hasn't had any manhood in this whole thing.

And he should be calling Putin a war criminal and a crook on a daily basis. And you might be surprised either this -- either the Russians overthrow them or like take a poll. Do you think -- how many Americans you think agree with Lindsey Graham when he first came out and said Putin should be assassinated? How many? 92 percent, 98 percent, 99 percent. In other words, Biden was on something.

His trouble is as Martha said, he should have stuck by it for heaven's sake and soften those guys up.

MACCALLUM: The Kremlin said they thought it was alarming what he said.

KUDLOW: Yes. Alarming.

(CROSSTALK)

MACCALLUM: -- alarming, what's going on Mariupol is alarming.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: Yes.

MACCALLUM: this statement is not alarm -- how dare they say that -- I mean, it's --

KUDLOW: I love it when you talk like that.

GUTFELD: All right. Last words to you, Tyrus.

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I don't know. I don't know what speech you guys are watching but I guess a lot of speech writers in the pandemic was the biggest class of workers that disappeared I guess. He was talking about points of light and how it was going to be a beautiful thing democracy and then my god man, man, he has to go -- there was nothing connected to that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Not even a little bit. Whenever he talks, you get about two minutes of cognitive speech and then --

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: My God man, and then I'm taking crazy pills or I'm going demand like him. He didn't walk back the regime change. He said policy change.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: He wanted to change the voting rights in Russia. He had no clue about what he said. He said policy.

KUDLOW: Yes.

TYRUS: He forgot regime.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Regime policy. I get them confused all the time. Tomato, tomato. We in trouble. There's no strong statements from him. All he does is ring dinner bells and enable the other side. And if I was in Taiwan right now, I would start packing up stuff because he just fires everybody up. They're literally on the phone going, you know (INAUDIBLE) did you hear what he just said? Do it. He's empowering the wrong side and makes us look horrible.

GUTFELD: Well, wait until we get to this next segment. Oh, you're going to love this. Up next Chris Rock gets hit with an open hand. But was it real or was it planned? Of course it was real.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Ah, there you are. Will Smith in Oscar disgrace because he left his fresh prints on Chris Rock's face. Or is Chris Rock a hater? Because he made a joke about Jada. And was three hours of Oscars crap saved or ruined by Will Smith slap? I speak of course of Smith who slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars over a joke about his wife Jada Pinkett Smith who suffers from alopecia. Once again minorities were hit hardest.

Now I don't remember when the slap happened. So let's just watch all 3-1/2 hours now. And I'm sure it'll pop up eventually.

CHRIS ROCK, AMERICAN COMEDIAN: Jada, I love you. G.I. Jane 2. Can't wait to see it. All right? (INAUDIBLE) that was a nice one. OK. I'm out here. Uh- oh. Richard. Oh wow. Wow.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: At first that may have felt like it was staged but then Smith had some words for Rock after he sat back down.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ROCK: Wow. Will Smith just smack the (BLEEP) out of me.

WILL SMITH, AMERICAN ACTOR: Keep my wife's name out your (BLEEP) mouth.

ROCK: Wow, dude.

SMITH: Yes.

ROCK: It was a G.I. Jane joke.

SMITH: Keep my wife's name out your (BLEEP) mouth.

SMITH: I'm going to. OK? Oh, OK.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He was going to say something. I want to know what that is. Smith returned to the stage later to accept this award for Best Actor and apologize for the incident but didn't mention Rock.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SMITH: In this business, you got to be able to have people disrespecting you. And you got to smile and you got pretend like that's OK. I want to apologize to the academy. I want to apologize to my -- all my fellow nominees.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: -- apologize. It was an awesome moment. Anyway, now most of the reaction to the whole thing has been all over the place. But the dumbest take came from CNN analyst Asha Rangappa who tweeted, so did like anyone walk out after that happened? Or are we getting an independent psychological case study on how Trump got normalized? Yes. It was Trump's fault. Of course, expecting Hollywood to walk out over injustice.

They make half their money from China. So rich black man smacks another rich black man at the dumbest event on television. So the only possible cause is white people, that's like blaming a hockey brawl on Barack Obama. Except in that case it would be true.

TIMPF: An idiot would say.

GUTFELD: An idiot would say. All right. You have some strong feelings about this, Tyrus. Take it away.

TYRUS: Unfortunately, man, this is what happens when you're in a bad relationship. This is -- this is what this is. The -- Chris Rock is a comedian. He made a joke. He started with I love you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And he made a G.I. Jane joke. Not the worst thing ever to be said to anybody that you're a -- you're a badass woman who kicked ass and all men's military movie by yourself. Jada has always had short hair. And we know about her issue, but it was the laugh. Will Smith laughed at the joke. Everyone see him laugh at the joke.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: She did not.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: She made the face. And then when the camera goes back to Chris where he is going like that. That's the exchange. And that's when the husband who should have been like, it was just a joke, dear. He had to prove to her because that's how bad their relationship was. He goes up he smacks Chris and in my opinion he threw away everything that he stood for in that moment. This brother was one of the -- he was one of the brothers that -- he did a different.

He wrapped without cussing. He did everything the right way. He was -- we had Bill Cosby. We know how that ended. He was the one guy who -- his criticism was always, he was soft. He was this, he was that. But he was the guy who did it right. He was the guy who tell you something like, hey, be like him. He did this way. He did it that way. In one moment, he was no different if he was going to be in NWA or any of the controversial groups back in the day, they used to fight against.

All because -- it had nothing to do Chris Rock. It had nothing to do anything to do with him and Jada, and their relationship. And I mean, the turntable thing which he talked about. Basically being with the dude in the house and all that stuff. That stuff weighs on you. And when you have a bad relationship, that's what happens. You don't have to be in the academy wars to see it. We've seen at restaurants, bars, all kinds of places where a guy and his wife or his girl will be there, they had a bad relationship.

Some guy says something like, you know, what are you going to do about it? See? I told you want a man or I'll show you and then walks over and hits the guy because that's their thing. So, they need counseling. And while the woke were just stuck, weren't they?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: They didn't know what to do. A straight black man and another straight black man one slap them. And they were like -- because to them it doesn't matter about violence if it doesn't affect them.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: It's about the words. Now if Chris would have been gay and will slapped him. Boy. They'd be asking for the Academy Award back.

GUTFELD: All right.

TYRUS: They'd be protesting but it's funny when he has not affected you, you really don't care about violence. Me personally, I think we'll should be -- should give the academy one back. He's disgraced himself. He disgraced everything he stood for. And Chris didn't deserve that. Not to mention the message. Next time a comedian says something you don't like and you're just going to walk up and hit him and say, well, He disrespected me.

GUTFELD: Yes. Kat, where do you stand on this? I'm sure that you are -- you wish that he had hit him harder.

TIMPF: I just -- I think it's awful. I can't even believe there's a debate over whether it was OK or not for someone to --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Are you against debate?

TIMPF: Just for someone to hit? No, I'm not. That's the entire point. For someone to hit a comic. That just the fact that that's acceptable to someone be on his side. Comedians are supposed to push boundaries, they're going to mess up sometimes. And I get it. I know it's I was diagnosed with alopecia when I was 27. I lost a severe amount of hair. Thankfully, I've been able to do things where a lot of it's grown back and it's better now.

I cried a lot over. I know how devastating that can be even though I never lost all of mine. And it's better. It doesn't matter what the subject of the joke is. It doesn't matter at all. For people say oh, you can hit somebody, that's going to destroy it -- like that's what happens when you have all these people saying for so long words or violence, words or violence? Apparently people are taking it literally.

GUTFELD: Larry? Thoughts?

KUDLOW: I don't know. This whole thing kind of baffles me. It's not exactly my cup of tea. I was really interested in what Tyrus said.

TIMPF: Yes.

KUDLOW: I mean, I don't know anything about that. So she -- basically, he was laughing at the joke. But the wife --

TYRUS: If we -- if we -- we're not -- we can't go back and put it in so much. He didn't laugh. He did this.

KUDLOW: Yes.

TYRUS: Like that kind of laugh. And then --

KUDLOW: So, she turn -- right. She turns to him and said defend me (INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: Look. Watch his face. He does the head back. I'm telling you as a brother. We -- we're emotional with our laughing, that stereotype is true. And when I'm like, haha --

KUDLOW: I just think --

TYRUS: Oh, damn.

KUDLOW: All these words, nobody watches this stuff. Anyways, it was the worst ratings, I think in their history and they're trying to ruin our culture. So, I actually care that much what happened. But it's all very interesting what you did say and I'll respect that and leave it --

MACCALLUM: (INAUDIBLE) remember when he went up and grabbed the award away --

GUTFELD: That was the Grammy's, right?

MACCALLUM: At the Grammy's, right. So that sort of broke that wall. And now you're allowed to I guess go up and react to whatever you want to react to. I thought the joke was dumb. It wasn't funny, first of all. And I -- and it was personal. So, it's like excluding everyone else who's watching and like what's going on and he said mean things about her before and, you know, so it's a classic Hollywood indulgence and I really don't care --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: It's a high school cafeteria.

MACCALLUM: What is going on between these two guys and why they have to bring it into -- and anyone else who won an award last night it's been completely overshadowed. No one's ever going to talk about it.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I wouldn't have talked about it either.

GUTFELD: I know. You know what's funny, though, Martha.

MACCALLUM: No, we wouldn't, that's right.

GUTFELD: Nobody knows the movies.

MACCALLUM: No, I'm sorry -- "Coda," I watched "Coda." It's the only one I watched. It's a nice movie. It's a sweet movie. It tells a good story. Is it a Best Picture?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACCALLUM: I don't know. I think this that --

GUTFELD: Everything's gotten smaller with the Oscar. There are no big movie stars. There are no big movies.

LARRY KUDLOW, FORMER DIRECTOR OF THE NATIONAL ECONOMIC COUNCIL OF THE UNITED STATES: If all these Hollywood people just slug it out. And who's ever, who's ever standing, gets the Oscar?

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: We will be there all day. Did you not see that slap? It's way to fill the NBA fist fight.

MACCALLUM: I think he should've punched him at the party afterwards, not on stage.

TIMPF: I agree with you.

MACCALLUM: If I'm married to him and he goes --

GUTFELD: We wouldn't have seen it.

MACCALLUM: Well, but that's the point, that's the point.

TYRUS: But here's the other thing, how many videos do we have of --

MACCALLUM: It's not honor, it's just like --

KUDLOW: Martha, I would've defended you. I would've defended you.

MACCALLUM: Why don't you slug him at the Vanity Fair party. That'll be awesome.

KUDLOW: I mean, first of all, he should've hit him in the ribs a couple times.

TYRUS: Wow, just like, just bang him up. Take your time on stage. Commercial break. Come back

MACCALLUM: Did Chris Rock go to the parties after? I saw that.

GUTFELD: Yes, he did. He did go to -- I think he went to Vanity Fair party. What do I know?

MACCALLUM: Well, I saw that Will, that Will and (INAUDIBLE) had a great time.

TYRUS: Like an O.G. and mad respect because he had more to lose than Will did.

GUTFELD: Yes, he just.

TYRUS: And he just took it, and, and there's a lot of people -- Shannon Sharpe, the best thing. because he said he'd still be whipping his ass right now if he tried that with him.

GUTFELD: But you know, what -- I still want to -- we got to move on, but I still want to know what was on the tip of Chris Rock's tongue when he says --

MACCALLUM: Yes.

GUTFELD: I'm up --

TYRUS: He was going to talk about this the singer in the house.

GUTFELD: I wasn't sure if it was that or something even, even more sensitive.

TYRUS: Even more personal, yes.

KUDLOW: Tyrus, on points -- I mean, if you were, you know, scoring the match, who would've won that?

TYRUS: Well, I mean --

KUDLOW: Just the fisticuffs, that's the only part.

TYRUS: Oh no, I'm throwing the towel on both guys. One guy's hands behind his back and the other guy couldn't take him off his feet. I would, I would refund tickets and apologize.

KUDLOW: Take the boxing commission.

GUTFELD: We got to go.

TYRUS: He's done.

GUTFELD: Up next, police funding gets the nod and a move that will upset the squad.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

JONATHAN HUNT, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CHIEF CORRESPONDENT: This is a Fox News Alert. I'm Jonathan Hunt live in Lviv. Ukrainian forces claimed to have taken a Kyiv suburb and an eastern town from the Russians. A senior U.S. defense official says it's believed Ukraine's military recaptured trust units in the eastern part of the country. And the mayor of Irpin says the Kyiv suburb has been liberated from Russian troops.

Meantime, according to British intelligence, Russia is deploying its private military firm to eastern Ukraine. The U.K. says the Wagner group is expected to send more than 1000 mercenaries including its senior leaders to undertake combat operations. And a cyber-attack against Ukraine's national telecommunications provider, knocking out telephone Internet and mobile services.

Stay with Fox News for all your coverage of the ongoing war on Ukraine. I'm Jonathan Hunt live in Lviv. Now back to "GUTFELD."

ANNOUNCER: "WHOOPS! BOY, DID WE --"

GUTFELD: Well, wonders never cease, now the Dems want to refund the police. Yes, Biden wants to spend a zillion bucks after his policies turned cops just sitting ducks. The President's proposing more than $33 billion to fight crime nationwide as part of his 2023 budget.

The proposal includes 3.2 billion in discretionary resources for state and local grants, and 30 billion in mandatory resources to support local law enforcement, crime prevention, and community violence intervention. It also includes funding for more deputy marshals and ATF agents on major cities, with a special unit dedicated just to Kat Timpf.

But is this renewed focus on crime too little too late? Is it like when I brought condoms to a gender reveal? Or is it a political ploy Biden is using to clean up the mess Democrats have made with progressive policies like no cash bail and defund the police crusades. They're just like arsonists who bill you for the gasoline. And just in time for the midterms when Dems need to wash the stank of their pro crime agenda off their clothes. So, Joe, now you want to fund police? What gives?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, COMEDIAN: Hey, look, look, don't give me that man. Look, this the process, you fund the police, then you defund the police, then you refund the police. Look, I'm in the refund. What goes around comes around. Come on, man. I've been in this business a long time. I know what I'm doing. My wife's a doctor. I rode the Amtrak, right? I mean, Kamala, she used to be a prosecutor, attorney district general. I've threatened court pop with a chain man. And so, I'm like McGruff, the crime dog. Remember that guy? What he used to say, only you can prevent forest fires.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That made a lot of sense, Martha, is going to help them in the midterms?

MACCALLUM: Yes, I don't think so. I don't think that you're going to make cities safer, unless you can -- I didn't hear anything in there about how you're going to bring in the U.S. Marshals and all these other people. Everybody left law enforcement because they knew that nobody had their back. It's a dangerous job, and they need support of that kind. There's no discussion about that in any of this bill.

GUTFELD: Larry, why should -- to Martha's point, this money is not going to make it to the right people, is it?

KUDLOW: Well, I mean, his definition of cops is probably different than the normal definition.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: He's talking about social workers and stuff like that. He underfunded the Department of Homeland Security. So, there's nothing going on with respect to protecting the border. And in general, no one's going to believe Biden about regime change.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. You know, Kat --

KUDLOW: That was a joke.

GUTFELD: I get it. I got it. It was about as good as the G.I. Jane Joe.

TYRUS: Walk over and smack him now or --

GUTFELD: Kat, you know I think you agree with me that all the money should go to build more prisons. I actually feel that way.

TIMPF: I just can't believe that it took so long for them to deny, like, no, everything's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine when a lot of people could walk outside and things are very much not fine. And I, not just in terms of, you know, like what they call lifestyle crimes, but actual violent crimes are being taken seriously. So, but again, Martha, I don't think it helps either, because there's so many problems right now in this country that this is just one of many.

GUTFELD: What do you say, Tyrus.

TYRUS: He just thinks the American people are stupid. First of all, when's this money coming, if ever even gets there, but more importantly, it's not enough.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: First of all, start with an apology. Start with I believe in stand behind our law enforcement, say that clear as day, but he can't. And doesn't matter if we, if we bring in 10 million more police officers and detectives, you still got the same prosecutors and the same policies who are letting them out as soon as they get arrested. So, it's not going to change anything. You'll just have more guys going in and out.

GUTFELD: And we got to move on. But even if they pledged to back the police the moment one problematic video comes out, the entire Democratic Party runs away from them and then you're back at square one where nobody cares about the cops, and you get the, the Ferguson Effect all over again. That is a downer, but we're going to have more fun later.

Coming up, commuters use scooters to get their kicks. While those in cars, they can't drive stick. Yes, I can't drive a stick, and I'm proud of it.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are back. When it comes to cars with a clutch, Americans are out of touch. While gas prices have abused commuters, they're stuck using scooters. As supply chain issues impact the auto industry and national gas prices continue to rise, so as the popularity of using e-scooters to get around without going bankrupt, all it will cost you is your dignity.

According to the Wall Street Journal owned by our parent company, Pampers, several electric scooter manufacturers report massive increases in sales and Web traffic since gas prices are shooting up like passengers on the subway. Scooter rental programs have also skyrocketed in places like New York where public transit is more unpleasant than shopping for laptops with Jeffrey Toobin.

Speaking of joysticks, those who are driving, don't want to pick a car with a stick. According to data from U.S. News and World Report, only one percent of cars sold in America have manual transmissions, and only about 18 percent of Americans even know how to drive one. So, I guess driving a stick shift is a dying art. Much like my clay sculptures of various drifters.

Of course, only the surface is made of clay. I'm going to go to you, Kat, you haven't driven in decades. So, does this story make any sense to you?

TIMPF: Like one decade. Yes, it does, I guess but I am not getting on a scooter.

GUTFELD: No.

TIMPF: No, because these like have they not heard of weather?

GUTFELD: Yes, I know.

TIMPF: Maybe if I lived in a habitable climate, I would maybe get on a scooter. But it's cold all the time.

GUTFELD: I love how fast you can go in those scooters. People have almost killed me, Martha. You know, when you're crossing the street. They're coming at you, but they're delivering your food to you --

MACCALLUM: Isn't that they go to 60 miles an hour.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MACCALLUM: I was like, that cannot be a good idea. I mean, I have a little bit of a lead foot. But I --

GUTFELD: I've noticed.

MACCALLUM: 60 miles -- you want to go 60 miles an hour on one of those things, and that sounds kind of crazy.

GUTFELD: They are always coming up Sixth Avenue when I'm trying to cross the street. You know, Larry, did you -- I bet you learned on a stick.

KUDLOW: People of a certain age know how to use a stick shift.

GUTFELD: Not me.

KUDLOW: And I even learned on a stick shift as I did, because that's the only real form of driving. So, you understand what you're doing. All this other stuff nowadays. You just pushing buttons like a computer, you're not actually driving a car. So, I want to see more stick shifts.

GUTFELD: What did you drive? What did you drive?

KUDLOW: a Pontiac Grand Prix and then later on an old Porsche, and it was just fabulous. The trouble is, unlike the bench seat with the stick shift kind of gotten away for certain activities.

GUTFELD: I got -- I know exactly.

TIMPF: I'm confused.

GUTFELD: Don't -- you know best --

MACCALLUM: In the Grand Prix, in the park.

TYRUS: It's hard to stack and you put your Halliburton for the money, it gets in the way.

GUTFELD: Tyrus, scooters or stick, you pick. A rhyme.

TYRUS: Neither.

GUTFELD: OK.

TYRUS: First of all, I grew -- I had to learn on the stick.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: But my problem was my feet were so big with the clutch in that thing. So, that was always fun, but I figured out. But a stick is like a buggy whip now. It's just gone. Those days are over, unless you are really expert driver with silver hair, you're not messing with a stick because everything now is push button and drive in.

Scooters, how are you going to put a family of three on a scooter? Is there a baby seat for the scooter? No, this is for single drifters who choose not to work for a living and they just borrow those things and leave them everywhere. Wait until you have 47 miles outside of your corner of your apartment, Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: I got bikes. I got all those stupid bikes.

TYRUS: So, yes, you can't go anywhere, you can't commute.

KUDLOW: These crazy people riding scooters, electric scooters, whatever they are they got their own scooter lane but they don't observe any traffic lights and they basically want to kill pedestrians especially in front of Fox.

GUTFELD: I know. Exactly. I agree with you.

TIMPF: That is, that is a take.

GUTFELD: It is a take. I agree. All right.

KUDLOW: It's not good.

GUTFELD: It is not good. Although, I love my electric bike. I love it like I gave birth to it.

KUDLOW: Regime change.

TYRUS: That would hurt.

GUTFELD: It would hurt. It would be very scrapy.

TYRUS: I would go see sex --

GUTFELD: Yes, I was yes -- that's so adorable though when it's young.

TYRUS: Good.

GUTFELD: All right. Up next, would it be nifty to live to 150? We discussed debate and whatever.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "A STORY IN FIVE WORDS"

GUTFELD: We're short on time. So, here's the story in five words, want to live to be 150? So, this story comes out all the time, Larry, it's researchers say oh, wait. It's possible. Do you believe it? And is it a good idea?

KUDLOW: Well, I'm well on my way.

GUTFELD: You're in middle age.

KUDLOW: I'm halfway there.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KUDLOW: And never felt better. Living to 150? I have to really think about that, think that through. Because so many trends, especially cultural trends now, I can't stand what I'm looking at. And we do need some regime change. But I'm glad I'm happy.

GUTFELD: There you go. You know, Kat, we were told that the world was supposed to end. What if you outlive earth? What do you do? Where do you go?

TIMPF: Well, I don't think if the world ends that you keep living?

GUTFELD: What if you can? What if you have a secret compartment under your house, made up some kind of weird fabric that you made in the summer?

TIMPF: As long as I had a bunch of apes, that'd be good. I don't, I don't want, I'd like to live to 150 but I'd actually like to live even longer. Because then after that, what else do you do?

GUTFELD: Well, you want your cat to live forever.

TIMPF: Well, he will live forever.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's disgusting --

TIMPF: I will make sure of that.

GUTFELD: That's disgusting.

TIMPF: He's trying to die, but nope.

GUTFELD: You're never going to let that, that cat die.

TIMPF: I am an now giving him an asthma inhaler twice per day.

TYRUS: I just realize who you are.

GUTFELD: Who am I?

TYRUS: You are that kid that no one could have a conversation with because you would what if them to death. It didn't matter if you're winning the argument like nope, well, what if this? And what if a dinosaur came in? What would you do? So, you're not so strong now? Like, that's who you were. I would have beat you up a lot.

The idea of living to 150, I have absolutely no interest of it. Have seen you somebody a 100? Have you seen somebody 100?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

TYRUS: Not a good sight.

GUTFELD: No, it's not.

TYRUS: 50 years later, you're going to be a pile of goop. Nothing left of you.

TIMPF: That's why I'm going to --

KUDLOW: End the capital gains tax, by the time 150. I'd really love that.

TYRUS: You want no capital gains from soup at 150.

MACCALLUM: It all depends on what kind of 150 you are, you know.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

MACCALLUM: I mean, if you've got your mental facilities, and you can, you know, walk and talk then great. Otherwise, all good.

GUTFELD: I'm totally for it if they just take my brain and put it in a vat, right and plug these little stimuli in there. So, I'm happy all the time. I don't need to go out and eat dinner. But if I can just be in a vat of fluid, that would be the best world. You know, think about it. That's kind of what you do. That's what you want to do.

MACCALLUM: That's the Metaverse.

TIMPF: Kind of already kind of how I live.

GUTFELD: Exactly. It is the -- no, you're --

MACCALLUM: It's the Metaverse.

GUTFELD: It's the Metaverse, right?

MACCALLUM: I don't want to; I don't want to live in the Metaverse.

GUTFELD: No, you won't.

KUDLOW: Oh, good.

GUTFELD: All right. We got to move on. That was a fun show. What a great way to start a Monday. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Martha MacCallum, Larry Kudlow, Timpf, Tyrus. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

END

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