'Gutfeld' on The Squad

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Gutfeld: How can The Squad do this with a straight face?

'Gutfeld!' panel discusses the Squad's advocacy for widespread student loan cancellation.

This is a rush transcript of "The Greg Gutfeld Show" on December 15, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Yes. Happy Wednesday everyone. So, did you hear "The Squad," they demanded something? I know. Let's hope it's four one-way tickets to Cuba. Really, why do they keep demanding so much from America when they could get everything they want from a Commie paradise 90 miles south? What whiners? Terrorists don't make this many demands when they kidnapped someone. They work for us, not the reverse. But now, they're lashing out at Biden after he said the White House has no plans to extend the pause on federal student loan repayments. Gee, I wonder if AOC has over $17,000 in student loan debt.

REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ (D-NY): I have over $17,000 in student loan debt. We have a moral obligation, an economic obligation, a political obligation to cancel student loan debt.


GUTFELD: Cancel. Did you get that? We are morally obligated to pay off this idiot's debts. Sorry lady, if the members of "The Squad" were morally obligated, then one of them couldn't marry her brother.


GUTFELD: Red meats. So, she is talking about her college education debt where she majored in dumb with a minor in ignorance. And it's the debt that she agreed to pay but now she wants you to cover the tab. But, OK. I'll play. If I pay your debt, then you got to pay my mortgage. How is that for a trade numbnuts? What do you get a special carve-out and not me? You actually have more power than I do. You got the privilege and now you want the perks? How about returning that dress you wore to the gala? That's 20k right there. So, we don't owe you a single penny. I only wish there was someone around who is even dumber than her.


REP. RASHIDA TLAIB (D-MI): I worked full time, Monday through Friday, and took weekend classes to get my law degree and still close to $200,000 in debt.

GUTFELD: Whose fault is that, you brimming cup of piping hot stupid? If she could work hard to get her degree, why can't she work hard to pay for her degree? Write a book. Hell, even Jesse Watters can do that. And now, you expect us to wipe that financial slate clean? She makes 174-grand a year off taxpayers and for her, that's not enough.

But, it does raise a point. Why do the dumbest people have the most degrees? As a matter of fact, the really smart ones don't have any. Einstein quit high school. Bill Gates dropped out. So did James Woods and David Geffen. Both Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs left school without diplomas too. What does that tell you? At least these people have made huge contributions to our world unlike you dolts. Those pieces of paper, we call it diplomas, are the only reason to mistake "The Squad" for being smart. And sure, maybe they got ripped off but not by you or me. They didn't go to the University of Gutfeld, which is free and voted number one party school three years in a row. Yes. I am accepting applicants but you have to send a photo.

They got ripped off by the colleges who saw how easy it was to get student loans from banks tagging these brain-dead bozos with absurd interest rates. Who would think a system where 18-year-olds with no income getting $100,000 loans would cause problems? The universities and the government did. They should give themselves in "a" for absolutely incompetent. And, didn't AOC get a degree in economics? I could clip my toenails for six months, put them in a bag and they would understand inflation better than her. By the way, I sell them on eBay to pay off my college debt. That's enterprising.

Now, they try to pretend that forgiving student debt helps the poor except the people with student debt are just like them, pampered upper-middle- class leftists who can afford more stuff than you. We've seen AOCs DC apartment on Instagram. Didn't look like Section 8 housing to me, Ms. Cortez. They pretend to be the working class but they expect the working class to bail them out. Yet, while they were racking up debt with useless degrees, the working class were denied that opportunity largely due to cost. You bailed these idiots out. You're literally taking money from people who are worse off than them. I wonder how this would play out in the real world.

(VIDEO PLAYING)

GUTFELD: Take out a loan. It's like a little New Yorker cartoon. So, how can these Squad members do this with a straight face? Maybe that's why Biden and Pelosi had so much plastic surgery.

So, here is an idea. You want debt forgiveness that actually doesn't help the rich? I got a plan. I call it Gutfeld on Wheels. There are more people who rely on cars for a living than a master's degree in gender dysmorphia. Suddenly, their gas costs more than 50 percent than before. Their loans are roughly the same as the student loans. Why not forgive those loans for hardworking yanks instead of your spoiled scholastic (inaudible).

I won't pick up the tab for some whiny entitled creep but I'll pay off the truck loan of some contractors supporting a family or an IHOP waitress with two kids who moonlights as a stripper and needs implants. I am nothing if not a philanthropist. Forgiving an auto loan is way more egalitarian than forgiving debt for people who go to Met Galas in a Tesla. But, if you want loan forgiveness, you're not -- you can't come to us. You got to go to the schools. Why punish the taxpayers? They didn't take your money. The overpaid administrators did. Their cost controls are more non-existent than Pete Buttigieg's breast pump.

Of course, Joe Biden, instead of leading, continued squirming spineless void ready for the picking. He said it's up to Congress to help execute his plan to cancel 10-grand worth of student loans but only if the Congress sends him a bill. It's pretty convenient for this lame Trojan horse. And, speaking of horses, we'd be better off with Mr. Ed running things. At least he could talk. But, it could be that Joe is playing dumb. But, come to think of it, there would be no playing involved.

Welcome tonight's guests. He is so young. He still calls Congress his summer job. North Carolina GOP Congressman Madison Cawthorn. She is smart as the width. She uses the Peter co-host, Host of Kennedy on Fox Business, Kennedy. She is like a string of old Christmas lights, twisted and half of the time never working, Fox News contributor Kat Timpf. And as a child, Santa left him cookies on Christmas Eve, my massive sidekick and the NWA World Television Champion, Tyrus.

But, Kennedy, she took weekend classes. That should be enough reason to pay her debt.

LISA KENNEDY, HOST, KENNEDY: No. There is no more obligation. There is no political obligation. There is no emotional obligation. There just isn't and I'm glad people are finally catching on to the ruse because college enrollment is down, and at community college, it's down by double digits.

GUTFELD: Right.

KENNEDY: That's because people have figured out they don't get a lot after they earn a four-year degree. I interviewed a writer from the Wall Street Journal last week and he told me that men are leaving college in rows (ph). So, it's now 60:40 men to women in college because guys are considered the enemy and they've also done the cost benefit analysis. They would rather start working at 18 and get a jump on the competition and then when you decide what you want to do and you want a specific degree to help you get a better job, then you got to call it. There might be a better way for a lot of people.

GUTFELD: Yes. And, you have money saved up for it. You don't have to rely on the government and then come and ask taxpayers for a bailout. Congressman, I realized what makes you different from Tom Brady. You're better looking and you're faster.

(LAUGHTER)

REP. MADISON CAWTHORN (R-NC): Now, I will tell you, people will attack him all the time for - and I think it was Tony Romo who decreased his speed rating but he gets more first downs than Romo ever did. So, I believe in him. But, I'll tell you,--

GUTFELD: Yes.

CAWTHORN: --I think that these federally subsidized student loans are the biggest lie. I feel bad for my generation because they've been told that the way to get ahead in life is to go get a college degree. I'm a college dropout. My chief of staff is a college dropout.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

CAWTHORN: Absolutely.

GUTFELD: When did you drop out?

CAWTHORN: I dropped out after my first year.

GUTFELD: Oh, well.

CAWTHORN: Yes. It's so asinine. I mean, you get there. It's great to be well rounded and learn all the history and all this stuff. But, once you leave, you realize that this doesn't actually get me ahead in line when you could just go start your own business and make money, actually build something with your--

GUTFELD: What did you do when you dropped out? What was the first thing you (inaudible)?

CAWTHORN: I went into real estate investment and tax foreclosures. It was awesome. But, I'll tell you, the thing - the problem is though, you realize this system is broken when an 18-year-old cannot get a $10,000 business loan, but they're able to get a $100,000 student loan that will do them no good in the long run. So, this is awful. But, for AOC, who I guarantee, does not tie it in any way to be able to say, oh, well, 10 percent of my yearly income is a ridiculous amount for me to be considered to pay.

GUTFELD: Yes.

CAWTHORN: I think it's $174,000 a year. She can't pay back $17,000? That's insane.

GUTFELD: It is insane. Do you talk to her much?

CAWTHORN: No, no, I don't.

GUTFELD: Do you hang out with "The Squad"?

CAWTHORN: I do not. I will tell you, a lot of them will tell you, as the person I am on media and on social media, that's doesn't just work, but I'm able to be a friend behind the scenes. And, when one of them told me that, I almost looked back and said, oh, yes, no, that's - I totally understand that works woke. But, then I realized, wait a minute, you are leading my generation down a dystopian hell path to destroy your entire country, lie to the American people and just make us a socialist country. So, I don't want to be your friend in any way. I don't want to spend any time with you. Then I left.

GUTFELD: Well, I just want to point out he said dystopian hell path and he didn't go to college. There you go. Somebody has a word a day calendar. Better than college, I say cat. You know what drives me crazy?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: What?

GUTFELD: The cancelled student debt that they never tell you what it means. Like, they - it always sounds like some kind of weird being is going to cancel it and all the money goes away.

TIMPF: I say that. I've been saying that for years. I'll send you the receipts later.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But, it's not canceling. It's forcing other people to pay for it.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: And, there is no moral obligation to - well, taxation is not just fast because the cops arrest you. They have guns. Taxation is armed robbery. So, there is no moral obligation to promote more armed robbery, pay for your own (inaudible).

GUTFELD: Yes. These are the least deserving people of a bailout. I rather bail out the banks again or the Bloods or the Crips. Tyrus.

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I would probably hold off on bailing out the Bloods and Crips and I want to win on that one.

GUTFELD: OK.

TYRUS: But, it's funny to me as they sit there with their first world problems, I get speaking fees of $50,000 but I can't pay a $70,000 loan back. What about the mom and dad who said, hey, you know what, no vacation.

GUTFELD: I will repay it.

TYRUS: We're putting our money away to send our son and daughter to school and they did the due diligence. They did the work. They sacrificed all that money and they pay for the child to go to school. And, whether they graduated or not graduated, do they get that money back?

GUTFELD: They - I would rather pay them--

TYRUS: Because they made the choice. And then, they didn't. They chose. It's about accountability which is a four letter word to the woke and "the Squad" because they don't want to be accountable. But, those Americans who put it on their back, to put their kids through school, it's a slap in their face.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: And, it should show up when they vote.

GUTFELD: It's like - you know what the thing is? If you - if the government actually did that, let's say they did some kind of weird lottery where they just randomly paid people who actually worked nights and got that, that would be an incentive to pay it off.

TYRUS: Yes. I mean, it's not even just parents to the person in the relationship who helped put their significant other through Med school or whatever and then they left him. So, should they get a check?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: No, no. The ones who actually got free money, currently squandered it miserably with their education. They should get bailed out. It's as ridiculous as just calling yourself "The Squad".

KENNEDY: Can I quickly call--

GUTFELD: Sure.

KENNEDY: --AOC out on something that she said. She said that 67 percent of jobs require education beyond high school. That's nonsense because 66 percent of the people in the country don't have college degrees. So, it's like the - that's one of those statistics that she is just lying.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KENNEDY: She is just literally making something up. And no, if you're going to make more over the course of your lifetime, that puts you into a different privileged class. You should absolutely be paying for the other things that people who really struggle can't afford like gas.

GUTFELD: Exactly. All right, up next, the network all about sports should leave fake news to CNN records.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: They're getting justified heat for a garbage tweet. Yes, once a sports leader is now a race hoax feeder. I speak of ESPN, the channel most watched by men who fell asleep on the couch in torn underpants. Shout out to Stuart Varney.

This week, they posted this tweet advertising their new special about NASCAR driver "Bubba" Wallace, "last year, a news was found at "Bubba" Wallace's stall at Talladega Superspeedway. The next day, the NASCAR community stood with him in unity". Under that was a teaser video about how NASCAR dealt with it at the time. But, nowhere in that video does it mention the real story that the whole thing was debunked. Of course, it wasn't a news found in Wallace's garage. I'm sure you remember, days later, an FBI investigation concluded it was fake news.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: A garage door - thank you. Thank you. Oh, I'm gone. I will leave now. It was a garage door pulley that had been there since 2019, long before Wallace's assignment to that garage. ESPN even reported on it. This is their headline from June 23 of last year, not a hate crime. Bottom line, reviving this hate - fake hate crime in order to generate publicity and make money is absolute (inaudible) on ESPN's part. It's bad. Just go back to what you do best which is we'll get back to you when we figure out what that was. But, maybe that's why their ratings are in the toilet. What a bunch of clowns? For more, let's check in what actual clowns think of all this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: First of all, you see with this C word, that's for my people to use. And, ESPN dropping the proverbial ball on this story, well, that irony is richer than the best ml sauce a pergola. I'll tell you what the real hate crime is. NASCAR using cars with fewer than 30 people inside, think of the carbon footprint you barbarians. Here is a suggestion. ESPN, why don't you raise your game?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Tyrus, do you remember the good old days when ESPN was a fun place to go? Now, it's like a gym class run by Antifa.

TYRUS: It's not a gym class. Stop it. When Chris Berman and Tom Jackson went away and--

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: --it kind of went from ESPN to the Enquirer. Hope you know the Enquirer.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: They only run stories to destroy athletes' lives and they never actually saw this one. They just needed to make that. It was a door pulley.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And, the good news was is that, yes, the story was how they united behind him and they found out the truth and everybody moved on. False alarm, it was a good false alarm.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: It was a good story that, hey, that's not how it is, and cool. But, for me, I am a FS-ONE guy now. I watch Skip and Shannon and Broussard, guys who actually talk about sports. It's--

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: --phenomenal. But, this is what ESPN is now. They're not about sports anymore. They just want to be a part of the woke, and everyone who - it's about the headline. It has nothing to do with the actual story. Everyone who is going to watch it is watching it for the racist story and be like, what? So, that's why they're doing it because it's more important to get people to tune in than actually do things like facts.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's like--

TYRUS: It's not a really fun story. It was a door pulley.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's a cheese in their mousetrap. Is this like racial conflict cat? You're a huge NASCAR fan. I remember coming to work just going like what the hell is going on? There was so much dissent - people were like, it was really an uncomfortable and sad story and they're reviving it.

TIMPF: I did have a hard time getting out of bed. Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes, you did. You did.

TIMPF: No. I mean, yes, and it's also like, I think Tyrus is right, but I think that people that are going to not watch us, the ESPN just don't want to watch ESPN, myself included. I don't care if it's sports adjacent. If it's sports, I won't. But, this is just, I mean, if your emotions or preconceived notions get involved in something, then it's going to affect the way that you view reality and this is a situation like this. So, they obviously got so excited thinking, oh, NASCAR's race is not just a stereotype anymore. Check it out. This is going to be huge. And then, more people want to pay attention to sensational thing then the correction. A lot of times people don't even see the correction. I'm sure people all over the place think that this still really happened this way.

GUTFELD: That is so true. Exactly. It's like the fine people hoax. Every -- there are so many people that still think that that's what Trump said. So, what do you make of this, Congressman? They revive a hoax in order to boost ratings. That's kind of gross.

CAWTHORN: It's disgusting. It's very similar to probably with things that CNN does. I mean, they can't get the ratings. But, I love the NASCAR community. I remember when this happened, we actually thought it was a news. The NASCAR community did all come together and condemn it like normal Americans because they represent normal America. I love NASCAR because when I got in my car accident and put me in a wheelchair, it was in Daytona. And, if the people in Daytona, the rednecks there know how to do anything, it's fix a car wreck. And so, they took really good care of me but this reminds me of the Jussie Smollett story, the fake hate crime which he was just indicted for or Jussie Smollett, I can put the name as.

TIMPF: I like you pronunciation better.

(LAUGHTER)

TYRUS: Jussie Smollett, yes.

CAWTHORN: But, at the end of the day, I mean, you know what? He is probably the first person who ever fell for the Nigerian Prince email. It's really sad. But, this story, I mean--

GUTFELD: I was the second.

CAWTHORN: Yes.

GUTFELD: It was gorgeous.

KENNEDY: I'm still waiting for my $3 million. I expected $3,000.

GUTFELD: I flew to Amsterdam. He wasn't even there. We met in a connecting flights. Oh, you all see Madison, you bring this stuff up and it doesn't work for me anymore. Kennedy, to Kat's point about this idea that when you commit to something and it seems like when you commit to the single variable of race--

KENNEDY: Yes.

GUTFELD: --you have to stick with it. You have to commit. You can't, like, how ironic it happened at a race.

KENNEDY: Well, and also, you have to stick with it. You have to stick with it, facts be damned. But, the problem is when people latch on to stories like this and automatically without any skepticism or any time because time is an important element in any investigation. They jump to conclusions. They have to jump to conclusions, Mat. And, when that happens and these things turn out to be fake, it hurts people who are the real victims of such crimes and things like that still exist and there are bad people in the world. But, if someone comes forward and says, yes, I was just attacked because of my race or being part of the LGBTQIA community, they're - people are going to go, no, you're not because Jussie Smollett.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KENNEDY: Like, I know that's fake and you just did it to yourself because you want attention. And, that's a --

GUTFELD: Yes. This is different than the Smollett thing because I think that what happened was somebody alerted Bubba, somebody in his entourage alerted him, and he was like, oh, my God, and you - and in this world, you are primed for it now, right? The media saying everybody is racist. So, it's like, oh, my God, this has to be real and so the wheels start turning and turning and turning and you can't turn the wheels back because you already got the attention from the audience and you're already getting clicks and you - and then all of a sudden NASCAR afraid of being - because it's a white, what would you say, white centric sport, white dominated--

TYRUS: White base.

GUTFELD: White base.

TYRUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. And, that - then that means that they have to really, really, really be sensitive and then what happens is you end up with something that was a garage door pulley turning into a national story, a global story.

TIMPF: Well, Lisa started the conversation.

GUTFELD: You know what? I love--

TYRUS: I am so tired of hearing that.

GUTFELD: Yes. Up next, she falsely claimed your tribe then got the worst of much diatribe.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Elon Musk causes a ruckus with fake Pocahontas. Yes. The billionaire of space verbally declawed the hapless Indian fraud. Senator Elizabeth Warren, if that's her real name, started this childish feud with the world's richest man on Monday when she tweeted "let's change the rigged tax code, so the person the year will actually pay taxes and stop freeloading off everyone else."

It's weird to me though, that when rich people forget that they're also rich, Warren herself is a millionaire. She should know that right? I never forget I'm rich. I pay someone $5.00 an hour to remind me several times a day. Thanks, Kat. Elon was having none of it, replying, "Stop projecting," and linking to an old Fox News article calling her a fraud. We appreciate the shout out, Elon. You're welcome to do the show as soon as you make a Tesla big enough for Tyrus to fit in.

But most came back with an even bigger burn tweeting: "You remind me of when I was a kid and my friend's angry mom, would just randomly yell at everyone for no reason. And please, don't call the manager on me Senator Karen." That is some Trump-level tweeting right there. That slam hurts more than the pain Joe Biden feels simply getting out of bed. We go to Senator Karen for comment.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Oh, wow. If it isn't Elon Musk. I call you Elon Mush, in honor of the corn meal recipe I contributed to the Cherokee Chow cook book. OK, I'm about ready to go. Tribal sovereignty on your ass. OK, I am going to give 110 percent of my 0.19 percent indigenous blood to make sure people like you pay their fair share, OK. And by fair share, I'm being fair share of contributions to my next failed presidential campaign. All right.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, the art of a good tweet is when somebody describes somebody so well that you can't actually never see, unsee it again. And like, when she -- we must describe her as his boyhood friend's mom who just yells at people, that's almost like putting her on ice.

TIMPF: I kind of disagree though. I don't think she's a Karen. I think she's more of a Sharon.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

TIMPF: It's something I just made up, but I'll explain it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: So, like, a Karen will call the cops, but a Sharon will like, not call the cops, and talk about how she would never call the cops all the time as a replacement for the personality that she'll never have. Like, a Karen would be like kids keep it down. But Sharon will show up. Like, hey, kids want to hit, hit my vape pen? They're like, you're 70, we're 20, go home, Sharon. Like, she wants to be cool and edgy so bad, but she never will be. That is something -- that's a Sharon. She's a Sharon.

GUTFELD: Interesting, Kennedy, that's an interesting analysis of Sharon. Is she not aware that Elon Musk probably pays more taxes than anybody on earth?

LISA KENNEDY-MONTGOMERY, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK HOST: No, absolutely.

GUTFELD: Like millions.

MONTGOMERY: Fact, facts do not matter to the progressive tax conversation. Very similar to the cancel college debt conversation. They will employ things that no one fact checks, but they are completely false.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: And think of the number of people that Elon Musk supports with SpaceX and Tesla and his Hyperloop that he's someday going to build. And someday, we'll be able to fly through the air and disintegrate and then reform.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

MONTGOMERY: He's, he's going to invent so much cool stuff that if I were her, I would be nice to him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: But he also -- and, and I think she is kind of a Karen because she became the manager.

GUTFELD: Right.

MONTGOMERY: So, she's like a super Karen. So, she, she was appealing to power but now she's so powerful that she wants to squash everyone she has a beef with and I like that he tweets things that people like her and Bernie Sanders. He tweeted at Bernie Sanders, "You're still alive?"

GUTFELD: Yes, that was a good one. You get to feel that Musk is one of us, not -- and he's ability -- we get the best people on our side, Madison. He's do, it is true what Kennedy's saying, he's -- when you compare him to a politician, he's doing more for this world, especially in space exploration and batteries than any politician or corporation, so it's kind of nice to see him just flatten pretentious loud mouth.

REP. MADISON CAWTHORN (R-NC): Yes, so really four things on this when he, when he said Bernie Sanders --

GUTFELD: Four things, Congressman.

CAWTHORN: Yes, I'll go really fast. Number one, he had a great podcast recently talking about World War II, you should go check out "Hardcore Histories Phenomenal." Number two, if anybody's selling one of his flame throwers from the Boring Company, I will buy it. Number three, if he ever gets really commercial orbital flight where you can just fly up in space, it's one of my lifelong plans to smoke a cigar. And last thing, number four, I think he should be our Secretary of Transportation next.

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

CAWTHORN: Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

GUTFELD: He certainly would not take paternity leave judging by his history. He likes to have the kids but then he moves on. He has a lot of kids. Tyrus, speaking of --

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Don't go there.

GUTFELD: I won't. What is -- think about this feud.

TYRUS: It's exactly what we talked about the, the progressive woke administration is in need for the 3:00 a.m. tweet.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So, he is their new Trump because now the battle with him is going to try to deflect what the horrible things is going on in the administration. Talks about how they're upset that President Trump was no longer on tweet, Twitter to fight with.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: So, now, she's what -- she was the first one and they drew him in and although his, his diss is phenomenal, as a guy who likes to do mic-drop disses, they're up there. He's a billionaire with a billionaire brain. It's phenomenal. But unfortunately, he just -- unfortunately took the bait because now they're all going to come at him now.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Now will be the top story, now they're going to go in the background, now they're going to try to -- even though he's literally I don't even need your federal funding for my electric cars. I don't need it. They're still going to go at him because now they found somebody to distract.

TIMPF: Yes, I --

TYRUS: So, they're going after him.

TIMPF: I also forgot that she existed.

TYRUS: Yes, but now we remember.

TIMPF: I had to like really recall --

TYRUS: She's back.

CAWTHORN: I saw her in the hallway one time and I was like, holy -- who was that?

GUTFELD: All right --

TYRUS: Pelosi will be next.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Then the V.P. They're all going to get in line because they're going to get attention.

GUTFELD: Yes, I hear he's back with Grimes too. That's kind of heartbreak - -

TIMPF: They're semi separate.

GUTFELD: Coming up, we play name that tune with a government buffoon.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: If you listen to his COVID tune, you'll hope your life ends soon. Francis Collins, the Director of the National Institutes of Health or NIC, celebrated the end of his 12-year run by performing a strange COVID themed farewell song. I don't want to say nobody asked for this. But after the songs released, people wrote Santa and asked him for hearing loss.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

FRANCIS COLLINS, DIRECTOR, NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH: Somewhere past the pandemic, when we're free. There's a life I remember, fall back to the tee.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I just noticed, they were signing that. So, you want to punish the deaf too? It's official we found something worse than COVID. Is he being forced to do this at gunpoint? If so, take the bullet, Francis. At least that would be a quicker death and listening to your song.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COLLINS: Somewhere past the pandemic, masks will come off. No more need for a nose swab every time we cough.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He's no weird owl. Should've played that at the start of the pandemic, the virus would have died instantly. One more shot.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COLLINS: Somewhere past the pandemic, we'll hug our friends, and thank the people and science that brought the pandemic's end.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TYRUS: Oh, go to hell. I love it.

GUTFELD: Madison, you watched the whole thing, didn't you?

CAWTHORN: I watched the whole thing on the plane coming here.

GUTFELD: Yes, what do you think?

CAWTHORN: I was -- it was fortunate I did have my wheelchair on plane because I would have jumped out of the plane. But as I was getting off the plane, the metal of my wheelchair rubbed up against kind of the railing and it actually made a prettier melody than that. I will tell you, I'm sure Francis has done some great things, you know, he's got a great pedigree, a lot of great things, but I'm pretty sure the NIH also funded the torture of beagles in Africa and the funding of gain-of-function research in Wuhan. And so, I mean -- it just seems so funny. This guy is now trying to drop a hit album off of the virus that he created. It's ridiculous.

GUTFELD: I can't -- no, we can't say he created it. Tyrus, you would like this.

TYRUS: You idiots, all of you. Every one of you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: It's shocking, because you look like Tom Brady, but you made a bad read here. This is genius. He's trying, he's trying to get a message to us that if he got out there and said, listen, we need to get back to where we need to go. This stuff is (BLEEP), you guys. I'm trying to tell you, they want to cut him off but because he sang a song, if you listen to the words, he's literally saying, we're all fine. We just need to get -- I'm leaving because we don't need masks and all this stuff anymore. This is the only way he can get the message out.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: Because the woke, the woke heard the song and they're like, oh, this is not -- well, he's totally bombing. He could make American Idol at all. Listen to the words people, he's telling us, the company I worked for is foolish, and they're stupid. And I can see a song, listen to the words --

GUTFELD: You know, Kennedy, Tyrus that's a really good -- I want to agree with Tyrus.

TYRUS: You have no choice, though.

MONTGOMERY: I love hot take Tyrus, I love hot take Tyrus. I love when he's the contrarian.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: He's fantastic. I love when he turns heel and yells at the audience.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: It's the best thing in the world. What he's saying, this is what makes me so sad? He's like the man in the 1950s wearing red sequins slippers in the closet hearing Dorothy sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" knowing it's going to be decades before he can come out and walk around in those shoes and everything is fine. It's he's saying like, it's going to be forever. He's saying basically, we're stuck with this thing for a long time. Some time, he's like, when I'm dead and gone in like 50 years, our kids won't be in masks. It so sad. It's like, this is what Ziggy Stardust fans must have felt when Modern Love came out.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: Like, I love Francis Collins when he was the Human Genome Project inventor who wrote a beautiful book called "The Language of God" talking about being a believer, an atheist, but also a scientist and how the hand of God is in every aspect of science and it was such a beautifully written book and to see him devolve into this, it's heartbreaking.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's, it's weird. It's like, the -- his singing, Kat, he is brilliant man.

MONTGOMERY: Yes.

GUTFELD: With amazing achievements. It's almost as though I can't trust anything he's ever done.

TIMPF: No, I, I don't know a lot of things. But one thing I know for sure is that you can never ever, ever, ever trust a man with an acoustic guitar.

GUTFELD: That is true.

TIMPF: They know like three or four chords and then boom; they control your life. Watch out.

GUTFELD: That's true. You're absolutely right.

TIMPF: This -- no, that you want to talk about science, that is (BLEEP), science, OK.

TYRUS: All of this proves my point. Well, he's a genius. He knew all this. And the only way he could get past them is to trick them with a childhood melody. That's the only way.

GUTFELD: You know, I want to keep talking about this, but the next segment's even better.

MONTGOMERY: Oh my God, I can't wait. I can't wait.

GUTFELD: Yes, up next, would you care for a jar of smelly air?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Want to be a wealthy star? Try selling farts in a jar. Back up that truck from brinks. She's making money selling her Jar-Jar stinks. Yes, this fart selling celeb is quite a catch, but be careful around her if you let a match. Stephanie Maddow from "90-Day Fiance," recently told Buzzfeed News that she makes almost 50-grand per week selling jars full of her own flatulates. I know it's a smell that's only sweet to the IRS. But why do people buy her farts in a jar? What, you want them to buy them in envelopes, you freak?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

STEPHANIE MADDOW, 90-DAY FIANCE: People buy my farts in a jar. I honestly think it's because I have a really good personality, and also because I'm hot.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, that's why. They're not perverts or anything. But Maddow also says that building a fart-funded Empire is anything but easy. She claims that she's had to fart 97 times in two days to keep up with demand. Adding that, she has to eat lots of beans, protein muffins and yogurt to make it all happen. Which is the same diet as Joe Biden's. As if that's not impressive enough, Maddow is more than just a pretty face with a great personality and fierce dedication to her art. Don't believe me? Check it out.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MADDOW: While I wait for those parts to develop, I like to read. I'm very smart, love to read.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, Kat isn't scared for her job at this point. She definitely should be. Kennedy, is just another example of the beauty of capitalism?

MONTGOMERY: It is -- this is why our country and our culture are so incredibly beautiful. Because she does this shamelessly, she's making $50,000 a week. And I guarantee you, there 75,000 hot women going: wait a second, yogurt muffins? What else, eggs? Not -- they're doing the same damn thing. All I have to do is fart in a jar, and I will be as rich as Kylie Jenner? I think it's fantastic. The only mistake she made was advertising this because you know so much this was, you know, Venmo and transactions outside of the government. So, now, the IRS is going to be completely trained on her and she is going to owe some back taxes from her backside.

GUTFELD: Back taxes, indeed, indeed. You know, sounds to me like she's making about two-and-a-half million a year. Would you believe that? Do you believe her? Or she talking (BLEEP)? I think she's just tooting her own horn. All right, Tyrus. Yes, go ahead.

TYRUS: Oh, no, no, no, this is you. This is all you. This is, this is the biggest bunch of (BLEEP) in my life. This person will do anything to be famous except be talented.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: No one's buying this. She's not making 50 -- what's a slow week? 25?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: You know, like, they will say anything. If you if you actually saw her on "90-Day Fiance," she got exposed because her partner was like, are you doing this -- Or? I don't know, and it was all attention seeking. She goes out of her way for attention seeking. And this is some genius idea, because how do you -- it's a jar, you get a jar.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: No one's paying for that. No one's paying for that.

GUTFELD: I don't know. Yes, I mean, I am skeptical.

TYRUS: I'd like to see an invoice. That'd be phenomenal.

MONTGOMERY: Greg, you're pretending you don't know.

GUTFELD: No, you know, the thing is she could be indicted for mail fraud if she's lying. Kat, you know what sucks? You can't get 50-grand for your kidney, and I know because you've tried.

TIMPF: Yes, I guess. I mean, look, it's been a lot of hot takes, but I think that I'm just going to give a reasonable analysis of this as a business model.

GUTFELD: OK.

TIMPF: Um, I think it's great. I mean, it's a lot of money, OK, to literally sit around and fart all day, a lot of money. But there's also really not many advancement opportunities within the company.

GUTFELD: That's true.

TIMPF: And then I think it also might limit your advancement opportunity at other companies if your resume is like, what was -- I was at home farting into a jar.

MONTGOMERY: That's a go getter, though. You have to look at that and say to yourself that is some creative, out of the box, in to the jar thinking and stinking.

TIMPF: Oh, absolutely, it's incredibly creative. But again, it's farting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: At the end of the day.

GUTFELD: At the end of the day.

CAWTHORN: You know, Tyrus, I actually have to disagree with you.

GUTFELD: Go ahead.

CAWTHORN: I'm pretty positive you can easily convince the government to buy this.

TYRUS: Well, Gutfeld would invest at that.

CAWTHORN: When you look, when -- you should go on Shark Tank. We should have a shark tank right here.

GUTFELD: Yes.

CAWTHORN: But yes, when, when you see government.

MONTGOMERY: The shark tank.

CAWTHORN: $31 trillion in debt, I'm pretty sure they've tried to buy things like this. It makes sense.

TYRUS: I'm sure there's councilman somewhere that spent $17.00 on it, but not 50K.

GUTFELD: We got to, we got to take a break, but not before I point out if you didn't hear what Kennedy said, it should be called short tank.

TYRUS: Merry Christmas, Greg.

GUTFELD: This is the best Christmas ever.

TYRUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Under my tree, a story about farting. I'm just going to breathe it in. Don't go away. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to Congressman Madison Cawthorn, Kennedy, Kat, Tyrus, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.


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