This is a rush transcript of "Gutfeld!" on February 9, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: That's where it lives right up there. And what does that say? I do. I do clap away. Clap away, you hand clappers. Happy glorious hump day, America. Shout out to Quasimodo and puppies in heat. So who wants to have fun at the media's expense? Roll the next, C.O.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And now the Gutfeld Show presents. You can't fix the media you can only let it die because they're beyond helping suck harder than a million vacuum cleaners powered by a zillion black holes. And this claim is backed by science.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Hmm. So remember when Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin eased restrictions on mask mandates? The media mocked and condemned him like the Romans did Jesus.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Glenn Youngkin campaign as if you were an ordinary suburban fleece wearing dad with moderate and inoffensive views.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Youngkin did exactly what a Republican does when they get into power. Let's look at what's going on. Let's move this state back 50 years.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Virginia governor and trumpet and training Glenn Youngkin.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: COVID politics makes a lot of Republican governors stupid.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: But now that other Democrat governors are doing the same thing, magically the media changes their tune quicker than a jukebox on meth.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: More signs the country is pushing to get back to normal.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: New Jersey, Delaware, Connecticut, Oregon, and California all move to relax their mask mandates.
JOHN BERMAN, CNN ANCHOR: These are all states led by Democrats and one's hard hit COVID zones and they seem to be decisions driven by science, not politics.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, the facts are great. We're headed in the right directions. I think we hoped we would be.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: The responsibilities should shift from a government mandate, imposed from the state or the local district or the school. Rather, it should shift to an individual responsibility by the family.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Hmm. It's official, you can now add these goobers to the list of other invertebrates like jelly fish, slugs, snails and tapeworms. Because since things have changed and the Dems are doing what Youngkin already did, the mockery stops. Now to be fair, you say they follow the science but why be fair when they really followed the political silent -- science? Just days ago when Youngkin suffered a legal setback over ending masked mandates.
Dems were dunking on him like Brian Stelter on a crawler. But now they're voting on legislation that copies him. They're like the dumb kids copying the answers of the smart kid's tests. So you think in the media's coverage, they'd credit Youngkin for being bravely ahead of the game. But you got a better chance of Pelosi admitting or faces 85 percent modeling clay because admitting they're hypocrites isn't in their DNA.
I doubt they even know what that word means. Now, while it's great to change your mind based on data, you think they would think ahead about that possibility before mocking the dude who made that right call first. But no, they're obviously two faced fair-weather liars jumping on the bandwagon. This is not amnesia. It's arrogance for they believe they can get away with it.
I'd call them flip phonies. Pretty clever A. I came up with it this morning, after putting mescaline in my Count Chocula. In one instant, they'll defend actual rioters, then the next brand peaceful protesters as insurrectionists. That claim that Canadian truckers are violent radicals without evidence, but then ignore the Antifa militant who plowed his Jeep patriot of all things into the convoy protests.
And another they'll defend -- defund the police then claimed they never did. And when homeless men start beating women with baseball bats in the unpolished streets of Seattle, they hide their anti-cop bias, like it's an ugly baby. They questioned the validity of an election in 2016 and then call anyone else to trade or if they do the same thing four years later. So rather than analyze their own rush to judgment, they just run away from the crime scene like smash and grabbers from Kay Jewelers.
Maybe it's how they're able to sleep at night. Well, that and hanging upside down. But it all stems from one insecurity. They can't admit they're wrong. It's quite the contrast when you see the podcast world exploding or successes like this little weird show that comes on at 11:00 p.m. What do they all have in common? Other than most of us can't pass a drug test, we all admit that we're wrong.
I tried to do it a few times a week, though, it's hard when you're almost always right. But every now and then I have to take off my cape. Back in 2016 I was wrong on Trump and initially I was wrong on Covington. I was wrong to take hair advice from Kilmeade. And it was wrong taking the under on how long Jesse Schell would last. Finally, I was wrong on Canada. Turns out they do have indoor plumbing.
Anyway, being able to admit you're wrong. It's like having opposable thumbs or no tail. It's a sign you've evolved. But being resistant to it means you're just like the dying legacy media, which can never admit they're wrong at all, because maybe they're wrong so much. They do four hours of news than have to do four hours of undoing their news. But maybe they're coming around under Jill Biden's White House, or whoever is responsible for changing Joe's batteries and then steering him towards the podium.
The Department of Homeland Security just issued a heightened terrorism alert due -- to get, this the proliferation of false or misleading narratives which sow discord, or undermine public trust and U.S. government institutions. They also cite conspiracy theories introduced and/or amplified by foreign and domestic threats. This advisory, much like Kat;s house arrest remains in effect until June 7th.
But this morning's big news. The DHS finally got around to watching CNN and MSNBC because it's the legacy media churning out the false and misleading narratives that sow discord. They peddle the Russian collusion hoax, they - - which undermined our elections. They lied about Kyle Rittenhouse and then a terrorist who ran over six people at a Christmas parade. They portrayed all police's violent rogues causing a Ferguson Effect that led to the crime wave.
And they denied the lab leak. They embraced every hate crime hoax they could find. They push to funding the police had no cash bail. They even called parents terrorists. Oh wait, that one was the government. It's going to be funny when they have to kick down their own doors at dawn and arrest themselves. Maybe they should put up that fence around the Capitol again and just put a padlock on it.
Anyway, it's good to see the President and his administration coming around just seeing the destructive nature of a vindictive media. I bet it sure going to be hard to slap the cuffs on your best friends. But I could be wrong. I probably am. It's not hard, but at least I'll admit it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. She's like a jailhouse lawyer. Always appealing. Co-host of "OUTNUMBERED" Emily Compagno. Yes. Said some guy. His comedy shows bring down the house, when the club is demolished due to low ticket sales. Writer and comedian Joe DeVito. The early bird catches the worm is their excuse for morning tequila. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf.
And finally he showers in Niagara Falls, my massive sidekick and the NWA's World Television Champion Tyrus. Emily, good to see you as always. Glad you could make it.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Me too.
GUTFELD: Yes.
GUTFELD: Do you remember the last time you were wrong on a topic? And would you care to explain it? It might make you feel better.
COMPAGNO: I was thinking about this for a while. And I think the times that I was wrong were when I just read headlines. Right?
GUTFELD: Excellent point.
COMPAGNO: And so, you brought up Kyle Rittenhouse earlier and when that -- when that situation started unfolding before I looked into it, before I read about it, I thought that, you know, I made the assumption that the headlines were correct, and that it was a vastly different situation than it really was. And it actually took in-depth research to determine that the people who died were not a certain type of group that they were portrayed as.
That he was not a certain type of group that he was portrayed as, right? It was -- it was just a completely different situation. I think what I see is different here than those -- the mainstream media is in part that -- I mean, were thoughtful, there's not groupthink.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: You say what you think at that time, and that's why later on you can say, you know what, I was wrong, because now I know differently or now I changed my mind. You know what, I changed my mind. That's OK, too. No one in the mainstream media is doing so because they're saying their talking points. And they have their group think collectively that they have to do.
And if I can just make one quick point too about the mask wearing and now everyone points to like a higher authority that is infallible. So everyone points to the CDC, right? That you have to wear masks, you have to mask your kids. Virginia passes a state law that says, we will rely on the CDC guidance for everything that we have through the school board. And this is why we're arresting people right and left for breaking laws basically. Right?
But that same CDC says that 51 percent of kids, there's been a 51 percent increase in suicides. That same CDC says that these kids are declining in mental health and in peer groups social -- social status and sociality by double digits right now, they are saying that our kids are dying on the inside. So, if they're perfectly infallible on this, and that's what we rely on in laws, says mainstream media, says state law then why can't the other things they say be correct also? It's only with COVID, it's only in the certain instances that these authorities are correct.
GUTFELD: Excellent points, Emily. You get a passing grade.
COMPAGNO: Yes.
GUTFELD: Joe, how are you doing?
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Good.
GUTFELD: Great. Beard coming along.
DEVITO: Growing in.
GUTFELD: Yes.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Good. Good. Good.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yay.
GUTFELD: Yes. Going to shave off the mustache and pull to Tyrus?
DEVITO: No, I don't think --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: OK. First of all, you know, why don't grow a mustache? My mustache hair is racist.
GUTFELD: Yes. He's got white.
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: Yes. My grandfather.
GUTFELD: I want to see that.
TYRUS: It's blond.
GUTFELD: Yes. Ah.
TYRUS: It doesn't get along with the rest. Division is rough on my face.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. Joe, do you remember the last time you said something that you now think you were wrong?
DEVITO: Yes. I used to spend a lot of time making fun of Canada.
GUTFELD: Hmm.
DEVITO: And if this whole system is brought down by angry Canadian truckers, I'm going to laugh my ass off.
GUTFELD: Right. I know. Who would have thought?
DEVITO: Who would have thought? And when I saw them starting to do the protests up there. I thought, well, it's a Canadian thing. So as some of the United States, I don't really have to pay attention.
GUTFELD: Right.
DEVITO: But I've been watching them. And it just is so funny how Canadian it is too and to see such Canadian pride.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: That -- they're -- what's more Canadian than honking?
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: It's the geese do it. The truckers do it. They're really -- they're really enjoying the Canadianess of it. And to see the way that the media is attacking them and their own Prime Minister, right? He's accused they're Nazis. They're transphobic, they're racist. He's going down this long list. And when you see them, they've set up saunas and bouncy house.
GUTFELD: I know bouncy castles. Yes, yes. But I want to point out, you can't spell honky without honk.
DEVITO: This is true. This is true.
GUTFELD: Yes. Pretty amazing. But you're right. People are taught -- people are talking about like terrorists while you're looking up a TV and there's -- you're looking at T.V. and there's a little baby in a baby carriage and another lady holding a baby and it's like what -- who brings -- you brings babies to a terrorist activity? Well --
DEVITO: Well, Hamas does.
GUTFELD: Hamas does, yes. I'd care to admit --
TYRUS: I'm wrong a lot at least that's what she tells me. But I probably say that the biggest thing I was wrong about was bus gate. And I remember I came on the show and I was like, that's it. It's over. Like Trump's done.
GUTFELD: Oh, I was wrong of that too.
TYRUS: Yes. Yes. It was bus -- it was rap, you know, and more recently, the biggest one is that I was completely wrong about President Biden. I was, you know, defending saying he's going to be a moderate.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: He's going to be that tough on crime guy. And he's not going to fold any of this. He's just being nice to be elected. And my bad, America.
GUTFELD: Yes. I remember the bus thing. I was -- you know what I did? When we did "THE FIVE," I entered by segment with the song it's over by Boz Scaggs, and I was laughing the whole time.
TYRUS: Yes. We talked about on this before the show, after the show at the bar.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: I was like, well, we're going to have four years of Hillary.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Here we go.
GUTFELD: Totally wrong. Kat, do you remember anything in your past? I know. It's hard to remember.
TIMPF: Because I'm blackout drunk all the time.
GUTFELD: I like it when she's --
TYRUS: She's going to whoop your ass.
TIMPF: Yes. I don't know. I mean, like, I'm not proven wrong a lot because I'm libertarian. And so, we never get elected. So we never have a chance to be proven wrong.
GUTFELD: That is true.
TIMPF: We don't win. I would say -- I was definitely wrong about -- I thought there was no way Trump would win in 2016. No way. I was wrong. I did not think that I would get so much COVID. I don't go anywhere and I got so much COVID.
TIMPF: You are. Yes.
TIMPF: I got COVID. I thought after I got two vaccine shots and the one COVID that there's no way I get COVID again that same year. But I sure did.
TYRUS: Really -- that -- and you just won the segment because I've had it three times.
TIMPF: So much COVID.
TYRUS: I've had to three boosters and all this stuff. So, I'm looking forward to the fourth. Like -- I'm like I'm planning a party for it.
COMPAGNO: Oh my gosh.
GUTFELD: You're like literally a bug lamp.
TIMPF: COVID loves me.
TYRUS: I've had all three versions. It's like I should get like a badge of participation.
GUTFELD: Oh my God.
DEVITO: Must be Kat's obesity.
TIMPF: I never really got sick but I kept getting, you know, testing positive but I was always like -- the beginning I remember I was like COVID. No big deal, no big deal. So it heard me.
GUTFELD: Yes. It did.
TIMPF: I'm going to get you, you bitch.
TYRUS: But the good news --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: You know, after a couple of days it left. You --
(CROSSTALK)
TIMPF: Yes. I was like fine but --
(CROSSTALK)
TIMPF: -- be by my -- I don't do well alone and --
GUTFELD: Oh man. Well that was educational. OK. Up next. If I had my druthers, oblivion is where we find these brothers.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: It's the Cuomos. Whoa. Starring Andrew and Chris. Cool.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes. Once a perv and the others got a lot of nerve because he brought down Zach and now he wants 16 million bucks. Welcome to a brand new season of It's the Cuomos. I'm your host Sandy Duncan. I cannot believe that we got a second season. Tonight's episode from grabbing ass to grabbing cash. Following Jeff Zucker CNN exit disgraced anchor Chris tends to demand as much as a $60 million settlement. Almost a million bucks for each one of his viewers.
But it's a bargain for helping to destroy CNN's credibility. That number is according to the New York Post, which is owned by our parent company Tom Cruise. Apparently Chris was candid December for helping his brother Andrew fend off sexual harassment allegations instead of helping women fend off his brother. That will claim that Zucker not only knew about it but that Zucker had inappropriate dealings with Andrew as well.
Said one source "Chris intends to fight for every dollar on his contract and loss of income from the 15 to 20 years left in his career." Yes, had Zucker not orchestrated I F job on him. I won't spell that out, Emily because you're here.
COMPAGNO: (BLEEP)
GUTFELD: Meanwhile, CNN reports the older Cuomo is considering a political comeback. If he gets one nursing home vote, though I'm alleging fraud. After resigning last summer following sexual harassment allegations, Andrew avoided impeachment, which means he's still eligible to run for office again. Now this isn't new. He's just following the footsteps of other disgraced horny Democrats like Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner who both tried to run for office once the courts removed their ankle monitors.
For more on this we go live to Larry Cuomo. Yes. The other Cuomo and some say the smartest but forgotten brother.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE MACHI, COMEDIAN: Leaving me after this. I'm normal.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It's probably the stats wise, the smartest Cuomo, Joe.
DEVITO: Yes.
GUTFELD: He stays out of this mess.
DEVITO: I think that was -- that was Shemp Cuomo.
GUTFELD: Yes, it was Shemp. I couldn't get Shemp but I got Larry and Moe, you know, he's passed on. What do you think, Joe? Do you think that he has a chance in a comeback? And it's Chris Cuomo really -- is his career ruined or is he just saying that?
DEVITO: He said he just got that extra 80 years in the business and he got -- two weeks ago, I was riding the subway. I don't mean to brag. And I saw a woman wearing a Cuomo sexual t-shirt. And I thought, when's the last time she did laundry?
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: Because time to retire that and then they're back. They're back again. Who's going to be -- Avenatti is going to be back?
GUTFELD: yes.
DEVITO: We're going to -- we're going to spring him from jail and run the two of them for President?
GUTFELD: That would be fantastic.
DEVITO: So, it's amazing. I mean, I think it's funny that of all the people to bring down CNN, it's Chris Cuomo.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: That's hilarious. His brother running for office again, is frightening. I mean, he killed more old people and if he poisoned the early bird special, but I guess we're going to let that fly.
GUTFELD: That's the thing that no one talks about. Wait, I got to bring this up to you because, Tyrus, this is so great. I love how Don Lemon who - - these -- they used to do that --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: The love affair is over.
GUTFELD: The love affair. And now he's mad, he's saying that, you know, giving Cuomo money --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: Yes. I know.
GUTFELD: Don't give Cuomo money because it will show that lack of journalistic integrity is a pay off.
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: Looks like --
GUTFELD: -- awful.
TYRUS: Looks like no more beautiful dinners in the city, Greg. Looks like that's over. You know what, I side with Chris Cuomo. I think he's right. I think he, you know, I don't know about all the money thing, but 100 percent Tucker knew what was going on. And he was doing it because he was doing the same thing with Trump. So, yes. And he thought he was going to jump from Trump to his big brother and he's going to ride that to the White House.
GUTFELD: Right.
TYRUS: So everything that he did, he was getting advice from -- 100 percent.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: Yes. So I do feel from that as far as being disgraced. I don't think so much it's what happening at CNN, but probably the sexual harassment thing. You know, that Zucker is not responsible for that.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.
TYRUS: So, I think he's got to deal with that one but he's going to get some money.
GUTFELD: Yes. What do you -- what, you know, Kat, when you look at Chris Cuomo, what would he spend the $60 million on? What do you think?
TIMPF: I don't know. The protein shakes like glamour shots. I told -- I really thought he was going to start and only fans. That was my --
TYRUS: Oh, it's coming.
TIMPF: That's what he wants to do.
GUTFELD: Yes. He's the flexor.
TIMPF: That's what he -- oh, I'm accidentally naked in the background of the photo like -- or the video like, he should just do that. I don't -- it's crazy. Because now you know, for a fact that they're both actually narcissist because they think he's, you know, Andrew still thinks he should -- he's entitled to have power over tens of millions of people. And Chris thinks he's entitled to tens of millions of dollars.
Even though like they have both screwed up so much that it's like hard to keep all of them straight without forgetting something.
GUTFELD: I know. I know. And I think you should get a gold and diamond big block necklace that says let's get after it. And just wear it. It just goes walk around --
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: -- give him my culture stuff. Hell no.
GUTFELD: I just want to see him shirtless, wearing it in the Hamptons hopping onto a helicopter, solid gold helicopter.
COMPAGNO: I mean, whatever that -- whatever that is worth, it's not worth $60 million.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: These guys are just like the brother herpes, right? Right when you think it's gone away, they just show up again, like a disgusting sore or word. And my favorite part about Andrew trying to make a comeback, by the way is that he's such a petulant child about it, right? Because we had the A.G. coming out that is like nothing takes away the fact that multiple investigations concluded credibly that you are a serial harasser and abuser and a lot worse.
And he's like, well, I didn't resign because I said I did something bad, I just said because I was a distraction. Like I left the door open, right? He's like the bitmoji where it's in front of the mirror like today's going to be a great day. I can do it. But, you know what, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that that would be a gift. That would be a gift to New York politics, because all it's going to be is a civil war between the Democrat Party because right now no one's defending him.
But no one's also saying that he's a disgusting waste of flesh. And so let them eat each other when it gets to the primaries. And if it gets all the way the GOP candidate is going to win.
GUTFELD: All right. You know, you stumbled into a good point. I got to -- I got to move on. But let's be honest. I know this the rest of America doesn't care about this. But he is still better than the current governor. Kathy Hochul or Hochul is a -- they managed to find somebody less appealing than Andrew Cuomo. She's like your crazy aunt. Right? Isn't she? I don't know. Anyway. Shut up.
(CROSSTALK)
COMPAGNO: I mean, he - like he is an harasser.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: He's a harasser.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: Like --
TYRUS: Confirmed.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: Exactly. No. Like I mean, I don't know --
(CROSSTALK)
TIMPF: I just bring a big magnet and his nipple rings would rip her out.
COMPAGNO: There you go. He needs to get (INAUDIBLE)
(CROSSTALK)
TYRUS: And nobody is naked and drinks coffee. Nobody risks that.
GUTFELD: Yes. That's (INAUDIBLE)
GUTFELD: All right. I'm sorry to say shut up to you by the way.
TYRUS: That's a burden that doesn't go away.
GUTFELD: Oh, that's true. That's true. I learned that at McDonald's.
TYRUS: No pants.
GUTFELD: They didn't press charges because I was in such pain. Up next. Anti-cop policies bring no relief and a crook who snatched all the beef.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Defund the cops says I left the flake while a carnivorous crook stalks up on stakes. Yes, defunding the police won't fall into security thanks to this Democrat with private security. Leftist Congresswoman Cori Bush is sticking to our guns and preventing cops from using theirs. She told Axios, the political Web site, not my Greek Poor boy, you better wait up, says that she'll continue to use the defund the police slogan even though it'll hurt fellow Democrats this election season.
Yes, she stands by her defund police idea, which makes voters run like they had diarrhea. It's music to the ears of a thief who burgled beef. Stay out of his way they say, when he steals 10 plays. On Tuesday morning, a New York guy -- I love that, a New York guy. You do all these great rhymes and you just throw in a guy. He purloined sirloin, and waltz right past Trader Joe's employees who were told not to foil this thief of London Broil. Geez Louise, what a jerk? Doesn't even know there are meat free options, cries Mayor Adams.
An anonymous worker told the post that they basically been ordered not to do anything when this sort of thing happens. They didn't even offer a baked potato and side salad. Now, I'm hungry. The photographer, photographer who took this video wanted to get to the bottom of it.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Those two guys would chase you from the store. They said they didn't pay for any of it. Why are you stealing them?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because I'm homeless?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Because I'm homeless. Stop filming.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: For the homeless? What are you going to do with it? What are you going to do with it?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes. Homeless. He's going to cook it on his lovely grill out on Sixth Avenue. He's probably taking it to a chop shop where they reassemble the whole cow for resale. Other retailers have told cops that perps have been stealing pricey products only to resell them later. Oh, my God. I wonder if those kinds of tactics sneak into the workplace?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh man, another brutal week at the office, huh.
JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Tell me about it. I couldn't even get posted notes because the supply chain issues?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, hey, you know, have a good weekend. All right.
DEVITO: You too, man.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Office supplies. Get your office supplies here. We've got paper and tape and phone all of this you can on.
DEVITO: What are you doing?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh hey, it's a little side hustle. Can I interest you in a surge protector? It's top of the line.
DEVITO: That's the one from my desk.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: So no --
DEVITO: That's my phone.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know, it does look similar. I will grant you that. You know what, that's OK, not your speed. You know what you need? A brand- new printer copier and fax machine.
DEVITO: Fax machine. This is all stolen. Are you out of your mind?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'll give it to you for 12 bucks.
DEVITO: Make it 10.00.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Deal. Office supplies, get your office supplies definitely not stolen.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Yes, I was quite impressed why Jean just picked up that printer with like -- like it was, like, like it was a hollow prop. Did you notice that?
TYRUS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Nothing, nothing tougher than lifting a printer Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: It is.
TYRUS: You are a spoiled little bitch, aren't you?
GUTFELD: They're heavy. They're heavy things.
TYRUS: Yes.
GUTFELD: Did you see Joe?
TYRUS: Yes, said no one ever.
GUTFELD: Joe could not carry that. He barely made it --
DEVITO: By the way, I was --
TYRUS: Joe was outsized, not (INAUDIBLE) --
DEVITO: I'm only acting short in that, I'm not, I'm not really that short.
TYRUS: Yes, because standing next to Jean's hip taking that was not a good look.
GUTFELD: Would you buy a stolen steak, Tyrus?
TYRUS: You ask the black guy to buy stolen goods -- no, I know I would not, no I would not buy it. You know what, but the best part of that video was not deceiving, because he wasn't done there.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: If you keep watching, he steals another homeless guy's trash bag, and he gets hell to pay. The guy comes running -- and was, hey, you stole my bag, yo -- and the guy was like, oh, sir sorry, and I'm assuming it stopped there in the ass-whooping ensued.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: So he, so he could still steaks from a store but if he steals another guy's bag, you get street justice.
GUTFELD: There's some street justice. At least, we have some justice, Kat. I mean Whose fault is this? Is this the store's fault for not doing anything? Or is the city's fault for not backing up the stores?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I mean, I don't think it's the store's fault. I think you're working at Trader Joe's, you're going to like, risk getting stabbed for Trader Joe's. That's never a good idea. But it wasn't - - yes, he put the steaks in the bag that the street sweeper was using to clean up the street. So, you're not eating that like?
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Maybe occasionally you'll like throw food away and then you'll get out of your own trash, but like, not, not -- we've all done that -- but not someone else's.
GUTFELD: You ever look like how it lands?
TIMPF: Yes, if it lands, it doesn't touch anything. I don't see the problem. There's -- you've done it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: Of course.
TIMPF: Yes.
DEVITO: Look, I can't tell you how many times I've eaten food out of your trash.
GUTFELD: Sometimes, you know, it's not even food.
TIMPF: Yes.
GUTFELD: I don't know what that means.
TYRUS: You do, you silly -- you do.
GUTFELD: Let's talk about the legal angle here. Now, let's not do that.
EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I can if you want.
GUTFELD: No, we'll say that for the D-block. What I'm interested in is -- is this weird? Some always said that we live in a simulation. First, like last night we're talking about Mayor Adams talking about --
TIMPF: Plant centered life.
GUTFELD: And then, the next day on the front cover of the paper is a dude with meat.
TIMPF: He's working for it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: Yes. He was obviously shopping for Super Bowl. That was my first thought, like great party at his house. But I think look, the bottom line and in contrast to what the left will have you believe: number one, this is not a victimless crime.
GUTFELD: No.
COMPAGNO: Right? And it's not about the retail. We have -- NYPD has video of a known shoplifter assaulting one of their officers at a midtown Duane Reade right over here. The same Duane Reade that is now closing and they're losing an entire clientele that depended on that pharmacy --
GUTFELD: Right.
COMPAGNO: For their medicine that's lower income, underserved communities and the elderly. So, all of that though, however, gets, gets way cited by this crime of opportunity as, as left-wingers like to call it. Literally, just today, by the way at the Whole Foods down at Bryant Park, this guy walks out with like 40 bags of coffee in a bag and like a like an open thing. Cops happened to be there made him return it. But here's the point, the cop -- the store didn't press charges. The cops didn't arrest him because they knew there was no deterrent consequence. Nothing was going to happen.
GUTFELD: Yes, was yesterday?
COMPAGNO: No say --
GUTFELD: Today.
COMPAGNO: So, unless I've weird COVID days. But so, he said the bottom line is because the system ensures that there's no accountability for this, that's why these guys keep getting away with it and they keep getting emboldened to violence. That's why we see security guards being shot in L.A. Security guards being beaten to death in St. Louis, etc. Like it's not just about taking a stake. It's about the system failing all of us.
GUTFELD: True.
COMPAGNO: Who pay for stuff and who don't want violence against people and you know, whatever.
GUTFELD: Whatever. Last word, Joe.
COMPAGNO: I fizzled out.
DEVITO: You can't expect Trader Joe's employees to be enforcing the law because the last time someone got their ass kicked by someone in a Hawaiian shirt, it was I think Magnum P.I.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: When that happened.
TYRUS: Great show.
DEVITO: Yes, this is -- it goes to show that you punish people who do good things and you reward people who do bad things.
GUTFELD: Incentivize as reverse.
DEVITO: Incentivize it. And one last thing for the mayor, he didn't notice he wasn't stealing any beyond beef non-sense. He was going for the real stuff. So, at least he had better taste than what he was --
GUTFELD: Less plant-based food, more prosecutions.
COMPAGNO: There you go.
GUTFELD: Thank you. I should run for mayor but I'm lazy. Coming up, I need more protein. As a crappy Web site, Gawker, turned into a creepy online stalker.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Could Gawker's reporting inspire extorting, and could this be the media's lowest move yet? Publishing instructions for identity theft. Gawker, the trash gossip blog famous for being sued out of existence for publishing Hulk Hogan sex tape, wow, has been resurrected a second time. And now their big scoop, they've obtained Arizona Senator Kyrsten Sinema's Social Security number. And damn it, all I wanted was her phone number.
Gawker echoes the progressive left's attacks on Sinema for her refusal to support Biden's Build Back Better Bill -- and Gawker is telling the world they have a private data, which is obvious payback, perhaps a threat, and then they're washing their grubby little hands by acting like this info won't be used to harass her by people even grosser than them. Yes, if you thought following her into the bathroom was bad.
Gawker said, hold my pee. How they score this amazing journalistic coup, turns out these bottom-feeders simply filed a public records request for Sinema's divorce papers. The records came back unredacted full of private info like her driver's license number and bank account info. Just like the intel I bought from Kat's college boyfriend. Best eight bucks I ever spent.
Well, with government fraud protection so lacks, it's no wonder people don't trust elections. The Scuzz Lords at Gawker say this kind of doxxing is a good thing for freedom of the press and transparency of our elected officials. But the only thing that's transparent is the left's need to bully a woman who's standing up for herself.
But that's really the case, Gawker, now go get Nancy Pelosi stock records and verify if her birth year is 1940 A.D. Emily, if this info is used for ID theft or to do something with Sinema, like some kind of fraud, would Gawker be held legally responsible?
COMPAGNO: Not really. So, this this is what's so frustrating about this situation is that it's, it's legal but it's dirty. This they're playing into exactly what they got them into trouble in the first place, right? So, remember, the, the existence of the sex tape was newsworthy, but the content itself was not, and that's what got them shut down. So, here they are reporting they have her SSN because as they put it, they legally obtained it for 11.00 bucks because there wasn't redacted because her records were made the part of the public record there in Arizona before the laws changed, whatever.
So, they're just reporting they have it, and everyone, you can do it too because it's not us, we're not breaking the law, right? So, it's, it's legal but it's dirty. Remember when Rebecca Schaefer was killed by a stalker fan on her doorstep? At that time, it was legal also to obtain an address of anyone from the DMV, and that's why the laws changed. So, I think this is a really disgusting, dirty display of sure, it might be legal but then going about it, how to obtain it and then putting it out there for everyone to use. I mean, that's --
GUTFELD: Just because you can obtain it doesn't mean you should, Joe. It seems to me that Gawker is basically becoming like a punishing arm, like an enforcement tool for the left and they're, they're almost advertising it. Say, this is, this is what we'll do for you. If you'd be nice to us and plug us and use this more often.
DEVITO: Yes, and like Emily said, they don't seem to have learned anything from the Hulk Hogan thing, although one thing interesting on his sex tape was the part where it looked like he was unconscious but then the fans brought him back, like cheering.
TYRUS: Watch it, Joe. You're crossing some serious (BLEEP) lines right now bro. Careful.
DEVITO: Here is what annoys me the most is that when she was first elected, the left was like she, she's a bisexual woman, she's a true Arizona Maverick. No one's going to tell her what to do. And then she said, well, I don't really agree with Build Back -- burn the witch, burn the witch.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: They immediately turned on her and what they're doing is this idea of, oh, I hate to see somebody do some stuff.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: (INAUDIBLE), if you read that article, there's no news or even an opinion put forth and it's just a threat.
GUTFELD: Yes.
DEVITO: And it's disgusting. So, why aren't we saying why is this press threatening a woman who is a member of the LGBT community who is standing up for what she believes in, and I hope if they keep on and she puts one of those thigh high boots up their assets, because what they're doing is wrong.
GUTFELD: Yes, you know, Kat activist followed her into a bathroom, so it kind of stands to reason that they might actually use this information.
TIMPF: Yes, it's off. I mean, Gawker -- like what, them doing this is kind of like, you know, creepy perv behavior, except like creepy pervs are trying to hide it.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: They don't like write an article. Like, I went through this woman's underwear drawer, and I found stuff like, but I can't tell you what, but if you want to find it, here's her address in a window that's usually unlocked.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TIMPF: Like, they're trying to make something bad happened to her because this isn't going to change anything policy wise. So, that's clearly not what they care about. All that it could potentially do is make something horrible happened to her.
GUTFELD: Right, yes.
TIMPF: Just want bad things to happen to her as a human being.
GUTFELD: Yes, and then get --
TIMPF: Journalism and they got some free press from us, Tyrus, what do you think?
TYRUS: Well, we need to stop sugarcoating this. This is not bullying. This is an attack. It's discrimination. Now, if she was a different color, people will be screaming out, I mean, but once again, I think women have probably been hit worse during this weird woke era. They're everything -- everything about what makes you a woman is taken away from you. And then, whenever, a woman is standing on her own and showing that she's strong, she's ripped down.
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: I had a question, Emily. So, if putting her information publicly, and as a result of that, somebody finds a way to hack in and take all her money and ruin her life as a result of that story, she can't go after them?
COMPAGNO: That case? Yes, but they didn't publish it. They just published they had it.
TYRUS: They haven't published yet.
COMPAGNO: Correct. It's, that's the tape existence versus the tape contents distinction. They're saying, yes, we have it but they didn't publish exactly what it was. And they made some stupid joke about, the number we put on the top was from a music video.
GUTFELD: Right, right.
COMPAGNO: Call you later, you know, whatever it was. So, they're hold, they're withholding the information but they just published that they have it.
DEVITO: But it was, they said a way to go about getting it --
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
COMPAGNO: Well, right, because, because that's the whole point. It's actually illegal in Arizona.
TIMPF: It's $11.00.
GUTFELD: Yes, it's 11.00 bucks.
COMPAGNO: Yes.
GUTFELD: All right, where is Peter Teal when we need him? All right, up next, are couples more likely to mate if the woman made the date?
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: Do hookups get more traction if ladies start the action? It's time for --
ANNOUNCER: "RESEARCHERS ARE PERVERTS."
GUTFELD: That's right, they are. A new study of the dating lives of college students finds that 63 percent of dates and in sex if the woman was the one who asked the guy out, which seems low unless the lady is a real pig, a sexist would say. But that's compared to just 56 percent of the time the man asked for the date. Well, one thing is for sure humans are sluts. Repent.
Researchers asked more than 20,000 students detailed questions about their dates, like who initiated, who paid, and what kind of sexual activity happened later? They then asked the students what they were wearing and started breathing heavily. Turns out, just 36 percent of college dates followed a traditional script, like the one where my wife's a welder, and I'm selling girl scout cookies.
And women just initiated one out of every 10 hookups, that's 10 percent. Talk about inequality. I feel like marching. But the most important takeaway is obviously that asking thousands of college students detailed questions about their sex lives actually counts as research now. If that had been the case in the 80s, my Uncle Steve wouldn't still be in prison. Granted, his subjects were tied up at the time, but it was all in the name of research. Kat, thoughts on this?
TIMPF: I mean, yes. What else there to say? I mean, I can't believe that they actually asked tens of thousands of people when they could have just went outside.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. And they're perverts, Emily, and perverts need to create ways to talk to girls. So, they create these surveys, am I right?
COMPAGNO: Yes. And they surveyed college students, like I don't know what your college experiences were like, but I lived in a sorority, so my dating experiences involved a lot of fraternities. And secondly -- don't look at me like that -- and secondly, they had, they had this whole thing about how like, the culture skips the steps and everyone is just like in rooms. So, like, yes, because of COVID. All college students are doing is hiding in their dorm rooms and making out and doing more. And third and final point, the fact that they say it's because the women initiated the date, like yes, of course.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: Women close it because they initiated, they close the deal.
GUTFELD: Yes.
COMPAGNO: Like women sleep with whoever they want. It's men that have so many failures.
GUTFELD: That is true, Tyrus. Is she speaking the truth?
TYRUS: Look, Gutfeld --
GUTFELD: Yes.
TYRUS: I'm 6'8",35 7 pounds and I'm black. I've never made a first move my entire life. I enjoy my freedom. I'm often described as a lazy panda in that department because I just wait. I'm not taking the chance.
GUTFELD: I hear you. I hear you.
TYRUS: Sorry.
GUTFELD: And you're the opposite of that, Joe.
DEVITO: Yes.
TYRUS: He's like a little hamster.
DEVITO: It's sort of like, it's like the koala when I clamp on.
TYRUS: Leg, arm, whatever is there.
GUTFELD: He eat a lot of eucalyptus leaves.
DEVITO: It's good. It keeps my breath fresh. Now, what if these women, the first move they make, is for a container of pepper spray? Is that the same? Yes, this this goes to show you that researchers by definition have a lot of time on their --
GUTFELD: Right, right --
DEVITO: And Emily makes a good point that women control access to sex, men control access to relationships, so this shouldn't, shouldn't require a survey.
GUTFELD: Yes, you don't need it without pretty deep, pretty deep for the little guy, for the koala.
DEVITO: I've had plenty of time to think this over.
GUTFELD: Yes, you have a lot of time on your hands and you use those hands. Don't go away. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Emily Compagno, Joe Devito, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you America.
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