Greg Gutfeld: The Hunter Biden laptop story was a 'bombshell' that got covered up

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It seems every day we find out more proof of how corrupt the press is: Gutfeld

Gutfeld and guests talk the recently released voicemail from President Biden on Hunter’s phone regarding his son’s China deals on ‘Gutfeld!’

So let's talk about Roe versus Wade. I'm kidding. I gotcha. Let's talk about a different abortion. No, no, no. One performed on a story by the media. See what I did there? I tricked it twice because it seems every day we find more proof of how corrupt the press is in killing off a living, breathing story out of convenience. 

It was a group effort strangling a breakthrough exposé that would have changed the landscape of an election. The press, along with Dems, Facebook and Twitter, took the laptop story to their own version of Planned Parenthood and suffocated it with a high-tech blanket. 

The latest bombshell. Remember how Joe Biden claims he never spoke to Hunter about his dealings with the Chinese? True. They talked mostly about crack cocaine on the 15-hour flight. On Air Force Two. 

But now we know that stories is false as Joe's teeth. He knew what Hunter was up to. Trying to make it rain with multimillion dollar Chinese companies. And after seeing the New York Times piece about Chinese corruption online, Joe called Hunter and told him it was all cool. 

JOE BIDEN: If you get a chance, give me a call. Nothing urgent. I just wanted to talk to you. I thought the article released online, it’s going to be printed tomorrow in the Time, was good. I think you’re clear. 

Clear. Those were the days. When Joe could still pronounce words. Now I'd call that call a smoking gun. But then Hunter would try to puff it. 

So what's that say, really? Well, that the president's denials were more full of **** than a toilet at Taco Bell. He did discuss Hunter's shady dealings with his son, and he knew enough from Hunter to worry about this New York Times piece because the piece featured certain shady people Hunter was trying to do business with using his daddy's name. 

So while the media had everyone chasing the Steele dossier, which involved made up Russian prostitutes, Donald Trump and bedsheets paved with gold. There were actual real Russian prostitutes making a killing off Hunter Biden, which was financially covered by pop. That according to the Washington Times. 

Yeah, it appears President Biden paid for his son's frolics with an escort ring based in Russia before he became president. And I got to say, what a cool dad. Yeah, all my dad got me was a baseball glove and a Schwinn. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the glove and the bike, but it's no hookers, Dad. No wonder I stopped growing. Everybody on my block got hookers. I got a bike. 

Anyway, it's been reported that Joe paid for the sex inadvertently. But doesn't Joe do everything inadvertently? He's the Mr. Magoo of presidents. The guy so clueless. People from his son to woke staffers can run scams on him from morning to night. Even the teens at Baskin-Robbins have been putting mayonnaise in his cone and telling him it's French vanilla just for a laugh. And I'm fairly certain Joe is the only person to have actually returned a phone call about his lapsed car insurance. 

In this case, the Times reports that Joe wired his son 100 grand to help him pay bills from December 2018 to January 2019. That’s six figures in just a few months. But in fairness to Hunter, you know how expensive organic kale, eggs and chicken is at Whole Foods. And also, there's the horse. They're more expensive than gluten free boxed water, which is why I cut back on the water. 

But it makes you view the Steel dossier in a different light. Now, do you see why it was pushed so hard and why the press refused to let it go? It was all a diversion from the real stuff. This stuff. The dossier was a decoy from the real sex scandal, which has always been a typical Democratic strategy. If they are guilty of something really bad, they will accuse you of it first, well before you have time to figure out it was them doing it all along. You know, it's why I keep accusing my wife of wearing my underwear. Yeah. So what? That means he's wearing her underwear. Good job, Columbo. 

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So while Democrats and media obsess over one day in January, they don't want you interested in how those protesters ended up there, why they were angry. That's a root cause they won't chase because it leads right back to them and their corruption and their collusion. January 6 came from a sense that we were all being screwed by institutions working together. You know, what Time magazine happily called the Cabal. Remember, they boasted about swaying the election afterwards. So many of the protesters behaved badly, they broke the law and they will pay for it. But their overarching instincts about saving the country from a corrupt system is the product of sanity. 

That's why the Hunter Biden laptop story scares the media so much. It proves so many people right. It was a bombshell story buried under a mutual agreement between the most powerful entities in America. And if you brought the story up, you'd be fitted for a tinfoil hat in minutes, thrown off social media and labeled a crazed conspiracy theorist. And the goal -- to get the guy out that they hated so much and bring in the feeble old man they could control behind the scenes, like a human drone. All it takes are note cards and a few pallets of Depends. The aviator glasses are to hide when he's unconscious.

So the rest was history. Corrupt, insane history that led to this force feeding of January 6 hearings that offers more RINOs than an African safari. 

Well, suddenly the hearing becomes part of the bigger picture. It's not an investigation. It's the cherry on a profoundly corrupt cake. After four years of fake collusion, attacks on Trump supporters, branding millions as deplorably racist, pile after pile of fake news, this was the coup de gras, which I think is French for a kick in the balls, which is something Hunter probably ordered and his dad ended up paying for.