One thing I’ve learned watching the media: it’s like drinking tequila. Do it on an empty stomach. I watched two minutes of Don Lemon after dinner last night and my wife is still trying to get the smell of vomit out of two throw pillows. But also - it's amazing how fast they bury their own mistakes. Which maybe they learned watching "Goodfellas."

They'll report something that's false, but before anyone has a chance to expose the lie, they've already moved on. And like that hitchhiker I picked up last August, the story’s gone without a trace. So thank God there are people out there, who go back and show us the most egregious media mistakes during this pandemic. These hacks won’t get away with it just because they were wearing masks.

I must credit Human Events’ Christina Pushaw, Charles Cooke from National Review, and the great Ann Coulter for exposing this following media malpractice. 

Do you remember the story of Rebekah Jones? Like Bernie Sanders' hair, it was everywhere! A heroic whistleblower accusing governor Ron DeSantis of demanding that she falsify data. Cable news embraced her like Andrew Cuomo groping a female staffer.

CNN HEAVILY PROMOTED REBEKAH JONES' FAKE CONSPIRACY ACCUSING DESANTIS ADMIN OF ALTERING COVID DATA

Clip of media praise for Jones: "Rebekah Jones, thank you for your invaluable work. This is very, very important work that you are doing. We greatly appreciate it.//I know this has been hard for you to be in the spotlight. There are a lot of big accusations coming your way, so thank you for taking this opportunity to help us understand what this is about and what it means for the people of Florida"//  Ali Velshi: Rebekah Jones, the light is shining on you. Don’t be scared because the whole country now is watching you and your family and what they do to you and your family and what they do to you. 

But as quickly as you can say "Michael Avenatti," the narrative fell apart - crumbling faster than Julie Swetnick under oath. And when it fell apart -- the press ignored it. Like a burning police station in Minneapolis. 

To remind you - After the Florida Department of Health fired Jones last May, she claimed it was for not helping to falsely boost DeSantis’ stats. Overnight, she became a star. Forbes awarded her "technology person of the year." Proof that Forbes has sunk lower than George Stephanopoulos in bare feet—he is shorter than me. She raised hundreds of thousands of dollars; her Twitter followers exploded. It was all about as real as Kat's glasses, but that didn’t matter.

The media loved her because she fit a role they needed: To bash an evil pro-Trump republican, who was beating the pandemic despite rejecting full lockdowns in a state teeming with rabid spring breakers and people in their late hundreds. Those bath-salt huffing, alligator-riding hillbillies just couldn’t be right.

CNN'S JAKE TAPPER RETWEETS CRITICISM OF REBEKAH JONES AFTER PROMOTING HER FAKE CONSPIRACIES ON-AIR

Now as this is happening, the media's embracing Andrew Cuomo, who shoved COVID patients into rest homes that killed thousands. Might as well been gas chambers. Even as - per capita, New York has nearly double Florida’s COVID-19 fatalities. The only thing higher than New York’s COVID death rate are its taxes. 

But what about this perfect hero? Turns out the lady NPR called a top scientist was about as much of a scientist as Bill Nye. In fact, she had held three non-scientist jobs - and all of them had her fired and criminally charged. She'd been busted for trespassing, resisting arrest, attempting to steal computer equipment; and in 2018 she was accused of sexual cyberharassment – facing stalking charges, stemming from an extramarital affair with her former student. Her resume is more of a rap sheet. Although it sounds like someone Hunter Biden might be into.

So she was no doctor. She never even played one on TV. You’d get better health advice from the muscle head working at Vitamin Shoppe. 

According to Human Events, "case files allege Jones stalked and robbed her former student, sent explicit photos to his family and employer, and trespassed on his property." Sounds exactly like what happened to me when I switched long-distance carriers. So maybe that might’ve tipped the media off. No such luck. Even though all of this seems like an easy fact check.

But the media didn't care - cuz they needed a hero. And when the media seeks a hero, they'll overlook the very worst. Like this lewd lollipop. Remember how CNN embraced Michael Avenatti - yet his story had more flaws than the diamond Kat wears on her ring. That didn't stop Bri.

Clip of Brian Stelter interviewing Avenatti in 2018: Looking out to 2020, one reason I am taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news. 

Other than where to go for the best blueberry pancakes, does he ever get anything right? Remember how they embraced Jussie Smollett - the guy that did his best acting when being interviewed by the cops. Remember, hoaxers - when you hire two Nigerian brothers to fake a hate crime… don’t pay by check. And I’ve lost count of all the questionable sources the media used in the Russian collusion hoax.

They flooded the zone with bitter clowns and spotlight chasers. Remember this guy? Anthony Scaramucci. I think he's now Jeff Zucker's footstool. Fact is - if the media can nail you -- they'll use any tool within reach. Including tools with a few screws loose. Then they stop covering it when they’re wrong and pretend the whole thing never happened. They shout the lie to ruin an enemy’s reputation, then don’t have the integrity to admit they were wrong. 

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But at least some people are doing the work I’m too lazy to do. I wonder what our angry White male has to say!

Tom Shillue, Angry White Male: Ah the whistleblower huh? Yea, I didn’t pay much attention to that story when it happened. Kinda shows you what I think about the mainstream media. I was probably out hiking like today. Which begs the question, if a fake whistleblower blows a whistle and you’re not around to hear it, did it even make a sound? 

There's definitely something wrong with that man.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the May 20, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"