Greg Gutfeld: Connecting the dots to crime's explosion

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Gutfeld: Nothing says the holiday spirit like boarded up store fronts

Gutfeld!’ discusses the wave of mob looting in San Francisco as California downgrades their shoplifting laws.

So it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. We're getting signs of snow, that for once isn't under Kat’s nose. But nothing says the holiday spirit like boarded-up storefronts in high-end shopping districts. 

Sorry, rich Bay Area libs, your stocking is gonna be emptier than Joy Reid’s head. Thanks to the rise in smash and grabs, places like Union Square in San Fran are boarding up more businesses than Minneapolis did while waiting for the Chauvin verdict. "Deck the Halls" has been replaced with "Deck the Security Guard." Who needs mistletoe when you can kiss your ass goodbye?

Whether it's brutal home invasions or grisly street attacks, Santa’s naughty list is growing faster than Alec Baldwin’s legal bills.

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Police officers have been shot and killed this year at all-time highs. 314 police officers were shot so far – a 43 percent increase since 2018. Ambush attacks are up 126 percent since 2020. And in almost every major city, murder rates are the highest in 30 years. Merry Christmas!

Crime's up, cuz crime pays. And the only people getting punished are people who don’t break the law. Even the kids are catching on... 

Skit of boy being told by neighbor that crime pays

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Now, I’m always skeptical of someone who explains a big problem by saying "connect the dots." Especially if that someone is a shirtless Kilmeade and he's handing me a magic marker. But usually what follows is an insane conspiracy theory, involving extra-terrestrials, satanic rituals and lizard people. Sounds like one of Bill Hemmer's hot tub parties.

But whenever I hear of another terrible crime, I keep asking, why and how. It's the same thing ER doctors ask, after looking at an x-ray of my colon. But this time, connecting the dots is super easy because the left has given us more dots than a braille edition of "Moby Dick."

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First Chicago. So far, it’s had the most homicides since 1994 – more than a thousand. During Kim Foxx’s first three years as the county’s top prosecutor, her office dropped all charges against 30 percent of felony defendants, a massive increase over her predecessor. And despite having video evidence and witnesses to crimes connected to death, she declines charging anyone.

Of course, she also fell for Jussie Smollett, who’s on trial for a hoax that was as believable as a Tom Cruise marriage. She treated Smollett like he was the second coming of MLK Jr. – even as his story fell apart like a bridge designed by a women’s studies major. 

But she got millions from George Soros -- two million to be exact. That's a dot.

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Now you know the Waukesha madman had been released on a small bail despite having a history that would make Ivan the Terrible blush. The least they could do was take away his car keys. Which is good advice for violent criminals, or Joe Biden. 

John Chisholm, the d-a who set him free, had pledged to work with the San Francisco DA, Chesa Boudin. San Francisco – Have you seen that hellhole since Boudin's been in office? Now, the "San Francisco treat" means stepping on a used syringe while a tramp defecates on your shoes. 

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And yeah, Boudin was put in office using Soros foundation money. Another dot.

In Philly - homicides have more than doubled since Larry Krasner was elected DA in 2017. The City of Brotherly Love is now the City of Duck and Run. Which is what happens when a DA would rather release criminals than prosecute them. And the criminals who get second chances? They get arrested again, sometimes for murder.

Krasner received 1.7 million in backing, from Soros. Anybody else connecting the blood-splattered dots?

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Then there's LA's George Gascon, another far-left "reformer" bankrolled by Soros's millions. He's now, like Boudin, facing a recall after replacing the rule of law, with weak sentencing for violent thugs. Gascon redefined victimhood: so victims aren't just those targeted by criminals, but the criminals themselves. 

So wherever crime's exploding – you find these dots – progressive Soros-backed prosecutors. 

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Like Maroon Five's latest tour, wherever they go, people suffer. It's like the radical left is running a medical experiment, and we're the lab rats. And if there's collateral damage, well, the over-arching mission justifies it. They've said so. 

It’s like making an omelet. If you wanna remake society, you have to crack a few skulls. And like scientists who conduct medical experiments, they're well protected – the rats aren't.

You see the pattern? Eliminate bail requirements. Stop prosecuting crimes. And use the pandemic to release even more violent thugs, 'cuz god forbid a rapist has to suffer mild flu symptoms at Rikers. All of these dots end up creating a line pointing you to widespread brutality. Against minorities, the elderly, and now even the rich. 

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But you can't blame Soros alone – it's not like he created these people. He may not be a dot, but he sure knows how to connect them.

But it's like blaming the Jets' owner for the team's horrible record the last ten years. He didn't create these bad players – he just pays them. He’s writing checks for their mayhem, just like the one Jussie Smollett wrote to his fake assailants. 

Except here and now -- the damage they do is real.

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the December 2, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"