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Paulina Porizkova posted a raw and rare video of herself sobbing in bed while confessing that the last five years have been especially emotional for her.
The supermodel, 55, is seen lying her head on a pillow as she breaks down in tears in a clip posted to her Instagram late Tuesday. The widow of Ric Ocasek then shared how she used to never cry, and if she did, she'd only do so alone and behind closed doors.
"I am a person who doesn't cry. I understood early on as a child that my tears were pointless, and only made me seem weak. I trained myself to cry only in private. In movies where I had to cry, I felt more naked and vulnerable than actually being naked," the star began in her caption.
Paulina Porizkova cries in a video posted to her Instagram account on Tuesday. (Instagram)
The Czech-born model then got real with her fans about how difficult the last several years have been.
"In the last five years I cried more than in all my fifty years combined. I had to show my tears — I could no longer hold them to myself. I had to admit defeat," she explained.
Releasing her tears didn't always help, she admitted, adding that she often would get headaches from crying. Recently, however, she's tried to not bury her pain.
RIC OCASEK CUT ESTRANGED WIFE PAULINA PORIZKOVA OUT OF WILL: 'SHE HAS ABANDONED ME'
"But I try not to be so scared of showing my vulnerability. Sometimes, when I do, people around me do as well, and the deeper understanding of one another is the pay-off," she explained, along with the admission that she is aware "the inherent narcissism in videoing yourself crying and posting it."
Last September, the author and actress reportedly found her estranged husband unresponsive at his home in Manhattan's Gramercy Park neighborhood. The couple have two children together, sons Jonathan and Oliver.
Shortly after his death, it was revealed that the rocker had cut Porizkova out of his will before his untimely passing, writing in it that she had "abandoned" him.
In a sit-down interview following his death, Porizkova told "CBS This Morning" that being cut from the will "made the grieving process really, really tricky."
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"I would love to be able to be sad and miss him and not also feel this incredible hurt and betrayal," Porizkova added.
The supermodel and The Cars’ frontman married in 1989. They began divorce proceedings in 2017 but remained living together in the same home up until Ocasek’s death in September 2019 due to heart disease.
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