Chris Harrison is speaking out for the first time after his unexpected exit from "The Bachelor" franchise.
During the premiere episodes of his new podcast, the former dating show host revealed how his departure deeply impacted his health.
"I was sick to my stomach. I lost 20 pounds. I didn’t sleep. I didn’t eat. I was scared to death, not of my job but of my family – my fianceé [Lauren Zima]… I worried about my kids…" Harrison said on his first episode of "The Most Dramatic Podcast Ever with Chris Harrison."
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"I’m a bit of an empath, and I am very loyal to a fault, and I am a team player."
Harrison, 51, permanently stepped away from his role as the franchise's host in June 2021 after 19 years.
He left the show after he was accused of defending "Bachelor" winner Rachael Kirkconnell for attending an antebellum-themed party in college during an interview with Rachel Lindsay, the franchise's first Black bachelorette.
"I was embarrassed. I was mad at myself. I was disappointed in myself. The last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was be an agent of anything negative – whether it had to do with race or anything," Harrison admitted on his podcast.
"When this happened… while I was sick to my stomach… I felt so disappointed that the interview went that way… it was on me because I controlled what I had to say. And while the point I was trying to get across I stand by, the way I did it was messy and disappointing… it’s just not me," he noted.
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On the podcast episode titled "It’s Time We Talk," Harrison opened up to his listeners and revealed that he "selfishly needed time," to "figure out" the best way to respond to the controversy.
"One point I was trying to make in the infamous interview and did not make eloquently, is people need time to think and to process… I wanted to step away. I wanted to think and learn… change… go through everything I went through personally before I had this talk."
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Harrison added that when people ask him what he thinks of "The Bachelor" franchise now, he admitted he doesn’t watch the show, but does keep an eye on the ratings and pays "attention to the scoreboard."
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He confessed that it slightly "hurts" him that the ratings are down and that the show has "changed dramatically."
Harrison worked on "The Bachelor" franchises for nearly two decades and said, "It’s something that I took pride in building… I was the face and the voice of the show… I was the constant for 19 years."