Ant Anstead says Christina Anstead split 'was not my decision': 'It really hit me hard'

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Ant Anstead is spilling the beans on his split from Christina Anstead.

News of the split between the 41-year-old television personality and his now-estranged wife broke in September when Christina, 37, announced the news on Instagram.

About a week later, Ant took to Instagram himself to share a message about the divorce, in which he noted: "I never gave up on us. I pray Christina’s decision brings her happiness."

The comment has led fans to believe that the split was Christina's decision -- and Anstead has now confirmed those theories.

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"I think everybody knows this was not my decision," he told People magazine. "It really hit me hard."

Television personality Ant Anstead said that his split from wife Christina Anstead was 'not my decision.' (Photo by VALERIE MACON/AFP via Getty Images)

The "Wheeler Dealers" star said that he's known as someone who gives himself "fully" to those he loves, and explained that he "had so much love for" Christina.

Now, over three months after they announced their split, Anstead admits that he had been in a "very dark place" for a time, but he eventually "reached this turning point."

"I had the choice to dwell on it, or move on and work on myself," he said.

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Anstead revealed that to help himself cope, he signed up for a 35-day "breakup recovery" course online, as well as a three-day faith-based retreat that helped him to focus on physical fitness and mental health.

The TV star said that both taught him that "nobody controls me but me. It’s up to me to empower myself and realize how incredibly worthy I am of healing."

Nowadays, he's established a routine that helps keep his head on his shoulders. He begins his days by calling his older two children -- Amelie, 17, and Archie, 14 -- in the UK before exercising, indulging in a healthy breakfast and offering up a prayer of gratitude.

Christina Anstead announced her split from Ant Anstead after nearly two years of marriage in September. (Photo by Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images)

He's also enjoying spending time with his 1-year-old son Hudson, whom he shares with Christina.

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"Not only have I improved my mental health, I've actually made a real conscious decision to go and improve my physical health, as well. I mean, for the first time in my life, I'm actually now taking vitamins," he said, adding that he feels more fit now than he did during his time as a soccer pro.

Despite all the progress he's made, Anstead is aware that healing and moving on take time and shouldn't be rushed.

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"It really is a process, and the thing about healing is sometimes you feel like you’re making daily progress, and then, from nowhere, your legs get taken out, and you feel like you start again," he explained. "But I'm certainly making steps towards healing, even if it's really slow."