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Gutfeld: Biden’s Build Back Broken sucked from the start

‘Gutfeld’ panel discusses how Democrats treat Sen. Joe Manchin over his decision on Biden’s spending agenda on ‘Fox News Sunday’.

This is a rush transcript of "The Greg Gutfeld Show" on December 21, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I'm brimming. Happy glorious Tuesday, my precious friends and fans. Last Sunday, America's media suffered a tragic loss. No, CNN didn't lose its viewer. It happened on Fox News Sunday.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. JOE MANCHIN (D-WV): If I can't go home and explain it to the people of West Virginia I can't vote for it and I cannot vote to continue with this piece of legislation. I just can't. I've tried everything humanly possible. I can't get there.

BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: You're done. This is -- this is a no.

MANCHIN: This is a no.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, that was pretty good, huh? Who knew it took Chris Wallace to leave before the Sunday show breaks actual news. I kid. The Chris, were very close. He went off to something that's called CNN plus. Good luck, Chris. But one tip, avoid bring your children to work day. For their sake. Because, you know, a lot of perverts over there. So, there's deep sadness for the press who invested so much in a different outcome.

You know, it's like leaving a bunch of Christmas presents in your car only to find out that while you're in the mall, getting a pretzel, somebody broke into your car and stole them all.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Some breaking news. Senator Manchin has just said that he is a firm no on this legislation.

DAVID GREGORY, CNN POLITICAL ANALYST: Manchin is a mercurial person to be dealing with from people I've talked to within the White House. We know this to be true. And he, you know, may want to be a kingmaker in some ways when it comes to this legislation.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is Joe Manchin wanting to extend the Joe Manchin show, period.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: At least he has a show. Who is that guy? Anyway. Did you hear that audible gasp from the first panel of mourners? Sounded like someone was standing on Wolf Blitzer's oxygen hose. Or maybe someone accidentally clicked on Toobin's feed. That would cause me to gas. Turns out they were devastated. They didn't get the trillion-dollar spending bill, they neither bothered to debate or much less read.

Yes, they were mad that their side lost and that was it. It was once again politics as sports and they bet 20 grand on the heavily favorite team and they lost. I'd like to cry babies they are, they lost in wanting to take their ball and go home. Although in Stelter's case it was probably a meatball. Does he likes to eat? Just in case you didn't get it. Hardy eater, Susan. And poor Jennifer Rubin one of the truly broken casualties steamrolled by Trump.

She wrote that democracy is now hanging by a thread which is exactly how your family will find you in the basement if you ever read her on a regular basis. That crackpots been wrong more times than Boris Johnson's barber. She makes no sense. Manchin operated just as our political system should. It's a republic. He stood up to both the hard left progressives and the media's hysterical pressure and told them to shove it up their collective puckered asses.

So it's the biological description. He put his constituents first. You know, those rubes that the media despise, loathsome gas bag. Bette Midler described West Virginia as "Poor, illiterate and strung out." All things you'd have to be to sit through one of her movies. I'd rather be water boarded with Mountain Dew than watch beaches. Yes. I don't care what you're going to do to me.

Later, she was forced to apologize for saying what she believed and what the media entertainment and academia believe too. That they're smarter than all of you. But of course they aren't. They're stupid. I mean, who mourns for the death of a bill that they didn't even read? And the bill sucked from the start. It's based on a strategy meant to make it impossible to analyze. Fact is everything the government produces is gigantic on purpose.

Including their mistakes. You know, it's like an insurance company that puts you on hold. The goal is to wear you down so you give up. Remember this great line?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

NANCY PELOSI, SPEAKER OF THE UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES: We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it away from the fog of the controversy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. You have to pass it to see what's in it. Which is exactly what my drug mule said to me. All right. P-drug mule. Pay first then see what you're getting. I don't know. That logic doesn't work in the real world. Does it?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: And then he said it's probably malignant. Thank you. I'll get this. Oh, excuse me, Miss.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I -- yes?

DEVITO: This problem, this doesn't list what we ordered. And it says I owe you $18,000. How can -- how can pad Thai be $18,000?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Well, you also ordered a diet Coke. So why don't you pay now and then we'll discuss this afterwards.

DEVITO: Well, can you tell me why it cost this much now? This is a lot of money.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Can you just pay now you racist piece of (BLEEP)

DEVITO: You had to get the shrimp.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes. But there is a bigger picture here. When Biden ran for office, he had to clear a very low bar. A return to normalcy is what he called it. He pushed that bit of business and then he returned to the basement curled up in a doggy basket next to an old Bowflex machine. Everybody has one. Normalcy meant his resting heart rate of zero. But yes, after four years of wearing the leather jacket of Donald Trump, it was time for America to put on that fuzzy warm cardigan that was Old Joe.

Except it turned out that cardigan was made of a type of wool that everybody's allergic to. And even MOFs couldn't stomach the taste. With soaring inflation and escalating crime wave still denied by the Democrats and a pandemic panic worsened by a befuddled president. A new poll finds that 70 percent of voters call this a bad year, with other half saying it was awful for them personally. And that doesn't even include the Cuomo brothers, or Alec Baldwin.

Of course, that poll is from Fox News. So you know, this is -- it's gauging how the voters feel, and not the politicians or the media. And it shows yet another record low for Biden. So how's that for normalcy? Others in the media don't look at it this way. They don't ask you about it. When they see that you're suffering they frame it as, how does it affect the party we support? That's why they ignored the crime wave because it was bad news for them.

Even though it was bad news for everyone, including you. Politico worries that Dems will lose at least one if not both houses of Congress in the midterms. While average Americans worry they'll lose their real houses as the economy tanks. It says everything that the media mourns is a bill that would have taken inflation to new heights because it meant their party lost. Everything is how it will affect their party, their bottom line.

Meanwhile, America didn't expect much, or even asked for much. Just a little bit of order, a little comfort, a smidgen of optimism. Instead, we got everything royally eff up. We were promised a comfy bathrobe and we got a onesie made of steel wool. Sounds kind of good at this point. Period.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome Tonight's guests. Santa has her on both lists. Nice and extremely nice. Fox Business Correspondent Susan Li. He has the face of your nephew and the politics of your dad poster. Host of "THE GUY BENSON SHOW" and Fox News Contributor, Guy Benson. He's the hockey fan who put the FBI on ice. Former White House National Security Council Aide, Kash Patel.

And finally his jokes get a worse reception than Kevin Spacey at a high school dance. Writer and comedian, Joe DeVito. Guy, good to see you as always.

GUY BENSON, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Merry Christmas.

GUTFELD: You look very comfortable.

BENSON: Thank you. I'm taking a page out of your book sartorially if that's the word.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: With a little sweater tie combo.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. Yes. So I figured, you know, it's been a crazy week. I don't feel like dressing up, you know, every --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: You know, I'm in charge of this show, Guy. Do think the Democrats are secretly against this bill and just hid behind Joe Manchin? And he probably got like some anonymous support for this?

BENSON: Oh, yes, definitely, I'd say one or two.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: And when he's out there sort of taking all the fire he's the lightning rod on things like the filibuster. There's probably six or seven saying thank you, Joe. It works for you back home. It works for us just to keep our mouth shut as long as this thing doesn't move forward, which it hasn't. I find it interesting with that whole monologue and the position that we're in as a country. The White House put out a memo.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: To tell all of us that, in fact, we are better off today than we were a year ago. And I read it. And I stand corrected. I feel great. I -- all of the things that I've been feeling and witnessing and experiencing in my life, it's all nonsense. There's some talking points that Jen Psaki threw together and we're great. The problem for Biden is that people don't believe it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: And you reference the Fox News poll, if you don't like a Fox News poll, because there are very dumb people who think it's like Sean Hannity polling his household.

GUTFELD: Right. Yes.

BENSON: Right? A Fox News poll like no, it's actually a bipartisan thing. It's a very good pollster. There's a new NPR PBS poll. Good enough. I would hope.

GUTFELD: A lot of letters.

BENSON: Has Biden at 41 percent.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: Twenty-nine among independents. The American people aren't buying this.

GUTFELD: In Hispanics he's getting killed it.

BENSON: Crushed.

GUTFELD: Yes. Crushed by Hispanics. Not literally, just in the polling. I'm totally against that. Susan, how dare you laugh at something so violent?

SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT: By the way, you know, how did I get invited into this reverse outnumbered episode? I'm like one lucky girl here.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: Instead of one lucky guy.

GUTFELD: Nicely done.

DEVITO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes.

(CROSSTALK)

LI: -- how I got the short straw. But OK.

GUTFELD: Oh. Is that a jab at me or Joe? What's height got to do with it? You know, what -- OK. You're already --

(CROSSTALK)

LI: I didn't mean it that way but OK. This has been taken.

GUTFELD: What would have happened at this trillion-dollar bill passed? What would happen to the economy? Well, we're already see inflation over -- almost seven percent, right?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: It would go to - -it would go to at least, and this is just my conservative prediction, 100 percent. It would go to 100 percent.

LI: Yes. Well, OK. So Joe Manchin said no to two trillion, but he's a counter offering $1.8 trillion.

GUTFELD: Yes, big difference.

LI: That's still a lot of money. You still get $600 billion for climate. And he's making some -- I think he's making some reasonable counteroffer saying, you have to be a taxpayer in order to get a child tax credit.

GUTFELD: Right.

LI: Per se.

GUTFELD: That makes sense.

LI: That makes sense. And by the way, he's also offering a payroll tax. He's trying to find some way to actually pay for this package. I mean, we're already at $29 trillion in debt.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: That's like 1-1/2 times the U.S. economy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: The government is spending three trillion more than it takes in every year. That's not sustainable.

GUTFELD: Doesn't even -- maybe it is and we don't know. Maybe we --

(CROSSTALK)

LI: Well, where do you get the money from? Where do you get the money? Or is it from here? Where is it?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: -- wrong the whole time? And you can just keep printing money. What if we were completely wrong? And it's like, no, you just keep printing it.

BENSON: Zimbabwe has tried this.

LI: Yes.

BENSON: And it does not work.

GUTFELD: Well, you know what, their other -- you know what, it was in -- it was the Zimbabwe dollar.

BENSON: That's the difference.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: You're onto something.

GUTFELD: Don't question my stupidity, Kash, if Trump ran again, your old boss, would he even have to campaign at this point?

KASH PATEL, FORMER PENTAGON CHIEF OF STAFF: No.

GUTFELD: No?

PATEL: I mean, look, he went down in Texas last weekend.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: And the motor -- I drove in about 40 or 50 of his motorcades while he was president.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: And they were the craziest things I've ever seen.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: He's now no longer president and the Texas motorcade was longer than his presidential motorcade.

GUTFELD: Wow.

PATEL: I'm not kidding. The Secret Service literally were like, what are we supposed to do? He's not president anymore. We don't have enough guys.

GUTFELD: That's amazing. Just because of the crowds or --

PATEL: Yes. Just because the crowds and the people that showed up in line the streets, they have to figure out a way to secure him. So no, he doesn't have to actually campaign and he's probably just going to save a ton of money.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go. Can it get any worse for Joe?

PATEL: I mean, sure, why not? When we look at that photo, I would have to say yes.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) I had this -- and use this analogy before I said, he's like, you know, when you get it -- you have a new car, Joe, the other Joe, and it gets in an accident or it gets stolen. You just want the insurance company to total it. You don't want to like say, you know, you can repair this and we'll pay the bill. No, because it's never the same. Has a different smell. You know, that's kind of what this presidency is for the Democrats. They just want to total the car.

DEVITO: Yes. It's the old car smell. You don't hear a whole lot about that. Yes.

GUTFELD: The old car smell. That's usually cigarettes and aftershave and shame.

DEVITO: Yes. And there's a little bit of like a lineament.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: A little bit of lineament that was stained into the seating. That was covered with a blanket because it tore -- there's a tear in it. You thought just putting the blanket over it and tucking it in would work.

DEVITO: Yes, well, just the skin sticks to it.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Exactly. Oh, yes. Those were the days. What should I ask you?

DEVITO: OK. Fair enough. Usually, I don't ask the questions for what the question would be. One approach.

GUTFELD: Well, you're strung out person. Ah. Did you take offense to (INAUDIBLE) tweet? She was talking about you.

DEVITO: Well, I did not take it personally.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: I think it's interesting that she has her apology and people say oh, do you really think she's sorry? She just said hocus pocus do. She has no conscience.

GUTFELD: That is true.

DEVITO: So, I think one of the things we've seen over the past couple of years is that if there ever was a veil over the way these people view the rest of the United States it's been ripped back.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: She clearly sees the people of West Virginia as a bunch of meth addicts hillbillies. And then to say anything afterward like, oh, well, I didn't really mean that for the fine people of West Virginia. But it's a little bit late for that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: So yes, and it's just interesting to see the elite reaction because I'm sure when they heard Manchin, they thought, oh, we love our mansions. They like oh, no, no, not that kind of Manchin. So, yes, I'm glad that somebody in the Democrat Party had had a little bit of common sense. And they say one man shouldn't have, well, it's not the one man, there's also the 50 people before him with that common sense too.

So we really dodged unless the -- Joe Biden found a huge stack of cash somewhere and his closet or his golf bag. We're very lucky.

PATEL: I'm not in his closet.

GUTFELD: Yes. And not yet anyway. You know, you don't want to piss off meth heads because they don't sleep.

BENSON: Where's Kat by the way?

GUTFELD: Oh, nicely done. Up next. The new strain is more mild so why are liberals running wild?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Please God make this in.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: As Christmas nears Biden stokes fears. But is the new variant really that scary ant? Or is the explosion of the new mild strain proof that severe COVID is on the wane. And why are Democrats sounding bleaker while the virus is getting weaker? So in between naps, the President addressed the nation and laid out a plan to battle Omicron, who originally thought was a giant space robots.

Announced the government will send a half a billion at home COVID test kits to anyone who wants them.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: How concerned should you be about Omicron if you're not fully vaccinated, you have good reason to be concerned. If you are vaccinated, and follow the precautions that we all know well, you should feel comfortable celebrating Christmas and the holidays as you planned it. You know you've done the right thing. Get vaccinated now. It's free and honest to god believe it your patriotic duty.

We have added 10,000 new vaccination sites. We should all be concerned about Omicron but not panic.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh, thank you for panicking us. He's also deploying 1000 military members to help potentially overwhelmed hospitals and setting up federally run testing sites in New York City where cases are rising faster than the subways urine levels. While New York grapples with Omicron in South Africa, it's almost gone. Where Omicron was discovered cases are already falling. And scientists are baffled.

One Doc said it could be because they're running out of tests, or Omicron is so mild folks aren't even bothering to get tested. And as people get it recover, they gain immunity and transmission slows. What do you got to say for this, Joe?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Look, look, look, I don't want to hear any complaints. All right? You better not pout, you better not cry because -- I mean, I'm like Santa Claus. Everybody gets a free test kit. And you can get -- you got to get tested. You got to get boosted. Because the Abercrombie is coming. It's coming to town. It's climbing in your windows and snatching your people up. So, you got to hide the kids hide your wife. I mean, come on, man.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Throwback. Kash, On "THE FIVE" today I talked about how it's time for Americans to take control of this because the government is an inefficient implementing any kind of leadership on this.

PATEL: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's time for us to say when this ends, because the government can never say when anything ends. We've seen that with the drug war. We've seen that with other wars, we have to decide. And I chose with Scott Adams, we've decided February 1st. How do we make this happen?

PATEL: It's great. You just got to do the rollout right. One, this is the most important thing you have to invite me.

GUTFELD: OK.

PATEL: Two.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: You have to have the best merchandise you've ever created to killing the Omicron virus. And three, you need like a logo, right? So instead of calling it Omicron or Abercrombie or whatever he's doing it these days. You got to call it what I call it. It's Omegatron. And just put that on the front of like a T-shirt, zip up a sweater even if you would and then you sell the (BLEEP) out of that stuff.

GUTFELD: Right.

PATEL: And donate it to Biden.

GUTFELD: You know, I don't -- I don't I don't buy anything you just said.

PATEL: What?

GUTFELD: I think that -- I think you're just trying to make a buck, Kash.

PATEL: I am. I'm trying to get invited to a party. Impossible. I got no Christmas holiday party.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's what you're so healthy. You know, DeVito, are these variants just -- like a lot of people, so it's just an exercise in power. I'm not so sure that is. I think it's an exercise in cowardice that the government is treating all the variants the same and they're not.

DEVITO: Yes. This one seems pretty weak. The Omicron, it almost sounds like a Star Wars sequel, that it's everywhere, but it's not as strong as the original.

GUTFELD: Right. Yes.

DEVITO: Kind of hanging in there. Although I do like Kash's ideas that see -- move some product here. That's why we should have a convention of Omicron con. We'll get together and we'll sell some bumper stickers. I think this week, the testing is what we really need to do because it sounds like maybe we're getting lucky that if it's -- if it's more transmissible but it's less of a problem when you get it. We could be getting close to herd immunity.

GUTFELD: You're right.

DEVITO: Which is good, because we've heard the things that Biden said he said. He was going to cure cancer. He said trains can go 500 miles an hour. He said his son is the smartest person you've ever met.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: These are the kinds of promises you can make when you're 79 years old. And, you know, you don't have to have a 20-year plan. You know --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Exactly, yes. Why he says his wife's a doctor? I mean, Dr. Jill Biden, everybody but I named letting her operate on me, Guy. You know what I'm saying? She could read a book to me though. I'd love that.

BENSON: I actually didn't hate the entire speech today. It was closer to a tone that I appreciate as a little bit less panicky.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: The thing is, though, this is a guy who won by promising to crush the virus.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: And that clearly has not happened. Now a lot of that's out of his control. But that's not how he treated Trump.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: Right? He blamed Trump for everything. And now all of a sudden, he's more magnanimous about the blame game, because he's got a higher body count than the last guy. So that's not exactly super generous of him. But there are some things that are in his control. The fact that there are major cities in this country with long lines for testing two years into this is insane.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: The fact that booster shots, he's like, they're widely available. My parents have been waiting weeks to get there. Those are not widely available. There's no where's the Operation Warp Speed for the Pfizer pill or the --- or the monoclonal antibodies, there are things that he could have done, instead of giving all these speeches and shaming us constantly. He could have actually done some things differently. And we would be in a better place than we are right now. He should own that.

GUTFELD: That's -- you made a lot of excellent point.

BENSON: Thank you, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: Thank you, audience. They needed -- they need your permission to clap.

GUTFELD: I wield a lot of power.

LI: He does.

GUTFELD: At any time, I could -- I could get them to a mob and have the rip you apart physically.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: -- I can snap my fingers I'll just rip you to shreds. Set you on fire. Susan.

LI: I think the opposite view because the cases doubling.

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: You know, weak -- it's scary.

GUTFELD: Yes. But you're talking about infections. You're not talking about severity or deaths.

LI: That's true, because hospitalizations are only up six percent in comparison, right?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: There you. So you're just contradicting yourself.

(CROSSTALK)

LI: I'm saying no, no.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I destroyed you, Susan.

LI: I think I'm right in both ways.

GUTFELD: Oh, OK.

(CROSSTALK)

LI: No. I just want to note also, I can't go see my family overseas this Christmas, because I'm concerned that the governments might just, you know, get panicked and shut down the borders.

GUTFELD: That's a great point.

LI: Because that's what you saw in Holland, where they had this hard lockdown until mid-January. Just, you know, without any actual statistics back up the move.

GUTFELD: That's a really good point. Because when, you know, my wife is going to Moscow for Christmas, and you're saying that they might shut down. She's leaving tomorrow.

PATEL: It also cost a fortune. I just came back from visiting my family in England, it cost me 500 bucks and testing on top of the ridiculous logistics you got to hop, so --

(CROSSTALK)

LI: I don't get that because in Europe, you can -- again, at-home test for five Euros. What is that? Like $8.00?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: Why can't we get that here? It's not available.

PATEL: Ask Guy.

LI: Guy?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: In London though, you get a full English breakfast with (INAUDIBLE)

PATEL: Yes. While you pay for your own quarantine.

GUTFELD: There you go.

PATEL: The (INAUDIBLE) you have to pay for those.

GUTFELD: That's true. All right. I think we have to move on. Right? Sorry.

DEVITO: Sorry.

GUTFELD: You look like you're going to say something, Joe.

DEVITO: Yes. If you know what the rapid test, I go for a test it takes as long as possible.

GUTFELD: Hmm. Yes.

DEVITO: I like that swapped being there. Good three or four days really. And you get a feel for it.

GUTFELD: Yes. He's met -- he's talking about the nostrils. Up next, Sorkin calls out of Hollywood duplicity for casting base on ethnicity.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Who should play the man who sang "Babalu"? Woke-sters think they know better than you? Oh, Writer-Director Aaron Sorkin is defending his casting Javier Bardem as a Cuban character in his new film "Being the Ricardos." Apparently, some people had a problem that Bardem, who's Spanish was tapped to play Desi Arnaz, who's Cuban.

In an interview with the U.K. Sunday Times, Sorkin called casting based on race or sexual orientation, the mother of all empty gestures. He argues that in doing so, it's just the artistic community resegregate itself adding, "Nouns aren't actable. Gay and straight aren't actable. You can act being attracted to someone but can't act gay or straight. So, this notion that only gay actors should play gay characters that, that only a Cuban actors should play Desi, honestly, I think it's the mother of all empty gestures and a bad idea."

Excuse me, you mean birthing person of all empty gestures? Disgusting transphobes? I think this segment is over. You know, Guy, I go to you for no reason at all, when you see straight actors playing gay characters, or vice versa, does it bother you?

GUY BENSON, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Thank you for the random question, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: Not really.

GUTFELD: No?

BENSON: The only thing that bothers me is there are a lot of gay actors, right? And I see all of them on Instagram, like trying to get attention there. It's like Aaron, please cast them, and just take them away to something real. But no, I think that this is, this whole game that is played is tedious.

GUTFELD: Right.

BENSON: It's like, if you are not exactly the right type of person, then you can't do this because representation, equity and all of that. I think it's exhausting to most people. It's this very inside game within woke culture.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: And like, wow, I'm all here for like, based Aaron Sorkin. I was not expecting this from him.

GUTFELD: I know.

BENSON: He even defended Gina Carano.

GUTFELD: I know.

BENSON: He should just be able to get offended sometimes. Like, red pill, what happened to this guy?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: I'm about it.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, it's probably because it's getting harder and harder to cast for his stuff. And he also likes actors and actresses --

BENSON Who are good.

GUTFELD: Yes, who are good and he can't use them like Jeff Daniels. I mean, he wants -- but you know, you know what? It's the whole point about Susan is Susan is about, about acting is that you should play people that are unlike who you are, because that shows your merit as an actor. For example, I know, I would be a great black female lesbian. I would, I would knock it out of the park.

SUSAN LI, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK CORRESPONDENT: You would. You would. You would do very well.

GUTFELD: I've been studying it. I have.

LI: So, look, OK, so Aaron Sorkin says the best talent should have went out, right?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: You don't have to be Cuban to play Desi. So, that means somebody like me could play Snow White, would that be fair?

GUTFELD: Yes, I think so, absolutely.

LI: Right? That's casting. African-American can play Cinderella.

GUTFELD: But are you a good actress?

LI: That would require some work, so I could get better. You know, business girl, lots of numbers got my head.

GUTFELD: There you go.

LI: So, yes, I just think that those minorities in Hollywood they don't get enough opportunities. And I think they should get more roles.

GUTFELD: No, you know what, what if, you know, the fact is though it's like you can't -- well, anyway, I argue with you about this Joe. I like the phrase acceptable. I've never heard that phrase before.

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Yes, like Lunchables.

GUTFELD: Yes, oh, nice. The most underrated snack. Sometimes, you know, people gave it a bad rap because it wasn't healthy. But you could do you could put a mean little cracker sandwich out of that.

DEVITO: Work in a pinch. Yes, yes, I'm surprised people are so mad. They didn't know his original plan was to have heavier burden play, Lucy.

GUTFELD: You what's funny, is like half of our audience doesn't even know what I Love Lucy is, right? You, I mean, you you're 70 --

DEVITO: Yes.

GUTFELD: I'm -- you know, I'm in my low 40s. Not that funny? I could be you know; I look pretty good for my age. People on the other hand, a disaster.

DEVITO: People are not mentioned Nicole Kidman's Australian. Yes. This this is this one is called acting.

GUTFELD: And she played the wife of Tom Cruise.

DEVITO: Then a lot of acting went for that.

GUTFELD: Yes, thank you.

DEVITO: If you think this is a beard. So, yes, this is why it's so absurd, that acting now -- is he supposed to become an alcoholic now to play Desi Arnaz, since the Arnaz is also now alcoholic.

GUTFELD: I didn't know that.

DEVITO: And supposed to pretend that, I really don't like the way actors who are beautiful. Try to claim extra credit when they played busted people like when Shirley's --

GUTFELD: Right. The only people.

DEVITO: The world is full of ugly people; you don't need to put on the screen.

GUTFELD: I'm going to wear any makeup.

DEVITO: We don't need that. We already have that. So --

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

DEVITO: Let's all go to actor's act.

GUTFELD: If you're going to play it serial killer, make it a hot one. You don't have to go ugly too just t's like, Yo, I'm going to make myself look like Wuornos or whatever the person was. Yes, you have to do that. Cash. I do feel like you're watching a lot of liberals doing battle with the Frankenstein monster they created it wasn't like Aaron Sorkin's Aaron Sorkin has done a lot to create this politically, this PC environment for decades.

KASH PATEL, FORMER PENTAGON CHIEF OF STAFF: Yes, I mean, that's exactly what they're doing. They're also not watching enough Bollywood. No, if they started doing that, we'd have a solution. But to take you back to what Susan was saying, you know, what infuriates me nothing about you know, we got to get more minority actors in there or the right gay actors. You know, I turn on all these films and I see a brown guy being played by a non-brown guy. There's like a billion of us on planet earth you, you can freaking find, like, employ us. Yes. And you could vouch for me and get me one of these.

GUTFELD: I definitely am. It's either that or they hire Justin Trudeau.

Right, that's nice.

Yes, thank you. Look at his racist.

GUTFELD: Coming up, he'll play one role as ng as there's some paint nearby. Racist. Coming up, he'll pay record taxes, but well is Warren still throw axes?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Liz wants him to pay more taxes. So, he hit her with the faxes. Yes, Senator Warren was on the warpath until Elon Musk showed her his math. Yes, he'll gladly pay 11 billion bucks to tell the world that Pocahontas sucks. Little Dr. Seuss for you, and what could be the largest individual payment ever to the IRS? Elon Musk revealed to be paying over $11 billion in taxes this year. If he's smart, he'll spread it out over a few months then it won't seem like that much. Pay quarterly, that's what I do.

Musk tweeted this weekend, "For those wondering, I will pay over 11 billion in taxes this year. In return, he got bad roads and a senile president. But 11 billion, that's like Joe DeVito his list of exes, a lot of zeros. That's because Kat's not there. So, I had to make it about you. The tweet was clearly directed at Senator Elizabeth Warren who last week claimed Elon wasn't paying his fair share. But like most claims from Elizabeth Warren, they're not even 1/64 true.

Turns out, Elon pays more in taxes than the entire GDP of several countries. And not just some of the (BLEEP) one, Susan. He pays half of a NASA's budget while having infinitely more spaceships. So, yes, it's a lot of money, but it's still slightly less than what Brian Stelter spends on pie. Guy, sick of the fair share phrase, it's, it's inherently meaningless. I don't even know what it means. Why don't we have a response to that?

BENSON: Well, you could do the sort of budgetary response, which is the top one percent, the dreaded top one percent of wage earners in this country pay roughly 40 percent of all the federal income taxes. Is that fair, Liz? And if not, why not -- Senator Warren, excuse me.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: Why not? And when he writes that check to the government, Elon Musk, he could maybe in like the memo, right? Big enough for you?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: Like what is he supposed to do?

GUTFELD: Exactly.

BENSON: And if the answer is it's not good enough, or not fair enough, I would love her to explain why and then also explain what the hell she has ever contributed to society, which is a -- I would say a lot less than this guy, who's actually created jobs and created really exciting things.

GUTFELD: Yes, no, he's a, he's a force to be reckoned with. In terms of contributions, Guy makes a good point, the total cost of federal government breaks down, Susan, to $11,000 per person.

LI: Wow.

GUTFELD: Is it amazing that he's paying 11 billion, it's almost -- and so, I, that's a million times 11,000, I think, isn't that something?

LI: That works. Sure.

GUTFELD: OK.

LI: Yes, we'll go with it.

GUTFELD: You said your head was full of numbers.

LI: That's --

GUTFELD: So, is it -- shouldn't he be allowed to like, do whatever he wants?

LI: I just don't understand why the Democrats vilify and condemn success?

GUTFELD: Yes.

LI: This man is sending rockets into space; he's going to colonize Mars. Electrify cars? I mean, he's saving the planet. I think his goals are inligned with what the Democrats want.

GUTFELD: You're right. You're right.

LI: So, I just don't understand how he's a villain? By the way, I love Elon Musk. If it wasn't for him, my days would be much more boring. So, thank goodness for Elon Musk in a Twitter machine. But I, you know, I think he's paying his fair --

GUTFELD: He's our new Trump in a way, because he's really good. He's got good Twitter game cash.

PATEL: Don't give him any ideas, he might run for president.

GUTFELD: Well, I would, I would definitely vote for him. I might even work for him.

PATEL: Really?

GUTFELD: Yes. Just to get close to Grimes. Yes, what can I say? I've had a crush on Grimes since I was 12. Well, she's like only 30, but anyway, what are your, what are your thoughts Kash?

PATEL: Well, it's kind of a lot. So, when I was over at DOD, we gave this guy --

GUTFELD: That's Department of Defense.

PATEL: Yes, sorry.

GUTFELD: Or DOD.

PATEL: Yes. He is doing some cool stuff in space and everything. He's doing a ton of stuff that you would think is so global. He is literally launching this thing called satlink, which almost no one knows about, but he's been building for five years, which is free Wi-Fi for the world.

GUTFELD: Which is amazing.

PATEL: The world.

GUTFELD: It's going to change everything.

PATEL: And, and there again, no one's talking about you think the Democrats will be championing this like, oh, I can be in central Sahara Africa and get Wi-Fi on my $3 million phone.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: You know, but they're not. And if you've actually watched one of these satellite link's uploads, it's like a string of pearls being dropped in the night sky. It's really cool. I mean, we're all paying for it, this way he's so rich.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: DOD's biggest like contractor is Elon Musk.

LI: That's right.

GUTFELD: Very interesting. I just learned something --

PATEL: I'll never get hired from him now, can you let that --

GUTFELD: Drop it on the floor? Do you know, Joe, does the government deserve his money?

DEVITO: No, we could -- you could drop the word deserve. Deserves got to go. It's --

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Things in your life that you get you the either earn them or you got lucky.

GUTFELD: Right.

DEVITO: But reserve needs to be lost. Elizabeth Warren, first of all, very hard to take shots of a guy who has his own spaceship.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: That guy's doing all right.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: I heard you made up with their -- he sent her $24.00-worth of beads. She said she's cool with that. It wasn't even. This is classic Socialism. What she does, it's their inability to innovate or create wealth. All they can do is try and take it from one price and move it to someone else. And Elon Musk, he's nutty, but he's created a lot of value.

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: So, I'm Team Elon way over Team Warren.

GUTFELD: He likes to cut up the pie but he just bakes new pies.

LI: Very good.

GUTFELD: Why, thank you. Teach -- you know, feed a man with a pie or teach a man to make a pie. Either way, the fish eats and the horse goes to the water, but it doesn't drink. As the bird is in his hand. Up next, the candy cane supply goes south while COVID impacts your filthy mouth.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: First up, peppermint supplies go from bad to worse. And it's enough to make anyone curse. True candy cane lovers will go without but things are good if you're a potty mouth, Susan. According to our friends at Fox Weather, owned by our parent company, God, there's a candy cane shortage due to the supply chain crisis. Thank goodness, because according to research, no one likes them. To make matters worse, peppermint harvests have been declining for the past several years down 25 percent since 2011, that's 2021 for you -- less peppermint more government. Thanks, Biden.

And you just can't make more peppermint by forcing peppers to have sex with mints. God knows I tried. Meanwhile, according to the Wall Street Journal we're cursing more, thanks to the pandemic. Not surprising if you have an office near Dana Perino, the filthy farm girl. Mentions (BLEEP), not to be confused with CNN primetime lineup, or related variations rose 41 percent from 2019 to 2021 on Facebook, and it's up 27 percent on Twitter according to the story full whatever that is, I think we own that too. We own everything. Screw you, World.

The article cites pandemic stress and everyone becoming comfortable with being casual is reasons why we're cursing. Also, anybody watching the news is constantly asking can you believe this (BLEEP)? More power to this guy for not cursing. Joe, combining this story, I would like a candy cane that curses.

DEVITO: For sure, you can say things like where's my (BLEEP) peppermint?

GUTFELD: Yes.

DEVITO: Yes. I don't think we should worry about a shortage of peppermints. That's what the grandmas of America. They have that dish that's been on the coffee table for years when you go to pick one up in the entire coffee table comes up.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's ribbon candy as they used to call it back in the days, Susan. What the (BLEEP).

LI: Spicy.

GUTFELD: Yes, spicy. Do you swear?

LI: I try not to.

GUTFELD: You're a good person.

LI: No, well, because of what we do, I feel like if it infiltrates your language, and then you'll start using it on air.

GUTFELD: Do you know what's weird, though, I swear constantly, and I've never sworn on "THE FIVE" and yet Dana never swears and has sworn I think three times on the five.

LI: Really?

GUTFELD: She's been --

LI: I don't believe that. Dana does not swear.

PATEL: Did you make her do it?

LI: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know, she saw an animal, a man treats an alligator badly in a bar. Do you remember this? And she goes, that guy (BLEEP), and she didn't realize she was on tape when she said that. And then she also said (BLEEP) a couple of times. Because now that I'm tired of hearing about this, and then she goes woopsy, she does that little thing. Make fun of her dog, Guy, she'll say just about anything. You're so mild-mannered. I don't know, you probably like candy canes and hate swearing.

BENSON: I don't like candy canes because I don't like peppermint, in general.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: I'm much more concerned about the, what is the cream cheese shortage? That one is more disturbing to me. And the pepper, like, keep your peppermint.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: I'll take cream cheese if I can find it anywhere. It's like a COVID test. You can't find it. But on the cursing thing, one of the things that makes you really feel alive is when you're on this show, and you can curse because they can bleep it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BENSON: I've been on the show a few times. I haven't cursed yet. This would be the perfect opportunity to do it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes!

BENSON: I'm going to wait until next time.

GUTFELD: That's the Guy Benson I come to admire. He would have taken it but he didn't because he said you know that's something everybody else do, but not me.

BENSON: Restraint.

GUTFELD: That's what -- restraint is your middle name, I hear.

BENSON: It's a different kind of restraint.

GUTFELD: Or maybe, yes, it's restraints -- plural. Kash, you can pick one - - you can pick candy cane, swearing, both, I don't care at this point.

PATEL: I'm going to combine them. As a, as a lifelong hockey player, swearing is kind of just what you do.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PATEL: But this holiday season, I'm going to eat candy cane. Go play hockey, get punched in the face, and instead of spitting chiclets, I'm going to spit candy canes.

GUTFELD: Nice.

PATEL: That is pretty cool.

GUTFELD: You don't seem like -- when do you play hockey?

PATEL: Every Sunday over down in Virginia.

GUTFELD: Oh, well, I didn't know they had hockey.

PATEL: We have the world's well, well it's the world's greatest beer league team, The Dons.

GUTFELD: The Dongs.

PATEL: Yes. Dons. The Dons.

GUTFELD: Dons.

PATEL: Get it right.

GUTFELD: The Dons, OK.

PATEL: You're killing me. I'll wear my jersey next time.

GUTFELD: Please do. And this time, wear some pants. Don't go away we'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Susan Li, Guy Benson, Kash Patel, Joe DeVito, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.

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