Updated

This is a rush transcript from “The Five” November 25, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

 

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera):  Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino,
along with Greg Gutfeld, Geraldo Rivera, Will Cain, and Emily Compagno. It
is 5:00 in New York City, and welcome to the special edition of The Five.
Turkey fresh on the minds of millions of Americans as they hit the road
this Thanksgiving, maybe you are on the road right now.

But things are going to be different this year, as states are taking some
very aggressive steps to curve an ongoing surge in new COVID-19 cases
across the country. No last-minute food shopping in New Mexico. The
governor shutting down a dozen grocery stores in that state after employees
tested positive for the virus.

New York City is adding checkpoints at bridges to enforce quarantine for
out-of-state travelers. And despite no evidence linking outdoor dining to a
surge in cases, restaurants in Los Angeles County are being forced to shut
their doors except for takeout and delivery. The mayor there even calling
on residents to cancel nonessential travel.

Earlier, President-Elect Joe Biden delivered a Thanksgiving address, and
said each of us has a responsibility in the fight against COVID.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

JOE BIDEN (D) PRESIDENT-ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES:  The federal government
cannot do this alone. Each of us has a responsibility in our own lives to
do what we can do to slow the virus. Every decision we make matters. Every
decision we make can save lives. None of these steps we are asking people
to take are political statements. Everyone of them is based on science,
real science.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

PERINO (on camera):  All right. Let's go around here. Emily, one of the
things about the science, though, especially when it comes to outdoor
dining, you know, the Los Angeles County health department said it does not
have data showing that outdoor dining is leading to the spread. And yet,
now these restaurants are going to be closed for at least three weeks.

EMILY COMPAGNO, FOX NEWS HOST:  That is exactly right, Dana. And to the
contrary, we have data evidence in the fact that these small businesses and
these restaurants are dying. As we know, the restaurant industry's the
single largest private employer in the United States. That's 11 million
jobs that are on the line with 100,000 already shuttered permanently.

I don't understand why people think that government is the answer and the
solution to problem and not the cause of it. And especially with these
executive orders coming down the line, all of these governors know how to
do is fearmonger and ticket and fine their way out of this virus, but that
is not going to work.

So take Maine where the Sunday River Brewery dared to stay open, and in
response, Maine inspected them 30 times and fined them $6,000 a day. And
there was not one COVID contraction found at that brewery, and they are
shut down. Or in LA, like you mentioned, Casa Vega, that's a restaurant
with 62-year multi-generational history now with no outside dining, they're
at a loss.

And by the way, it's almost 70 degrees today in LA. So that is what we are
dealing with, zero data that COVID can be contracted with outside dining or
to support these overblown, over broad government overreach, (Inaudible)
and executive orders, and yet all the data pointing to the detriments of
these orders.

PERINO:  And not only that, Geraldo. A lot of these restaurant owners and
small businesses have invested to figure out a way to make things safer,
right? So they did the plexiglass, the distancing, they spruced it up a
little bit, even like some flowers, some plants, things like that, so those
are costs as well.

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS HOST:  I think many -- Dana, these measures maybe
overblown and overwrought. But you don't want to be the governor or the
mayor who presides over people dying just as a vaccine is coming online. We
had 156 deaths here in Ohio yesterday. It was a record for the Buckeye
State. It's very, very concerning.

And we are all looking with this bitter irony at December 10 or December 11
the beginning of the distribution of the vaccine at the end of this long
national nightmare. So I mean, for three weeks, I think we've to grin and
bear it. My dad in the coffee shop diner business. I know how tough it is
to start, to restart. But you know, you just don't want to be the last
person dying before the vaccine gets to you, Dana.

PERINO:  Well, I get that. And I do think that things are pretty
complicated. Greg, let me ask you about -- some of these decisions, closing
an entire grocery store because there were a few cases of -- where
employees tested positive. So now, it just makes it that much harder to get
the essentials, because the essentials were staying open the first time.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST:  Yeah. It seems like there was another
solution that I would like to quote the philosopher Michael Malice who said
tyranny is when the population is imprisoned. Freedom is when the
politicians are. And I'm thinking about this, as Geraldo brings up the --
you don't want to be the governor. And that is actually why you become a
politician.

You want to be the governor, not just during the good times but the bad
times. And you have to take these risks. You're not just going to be the
governor when everybody's healthy. Closing the grocery stores, you know
that the people who made that decision knew in advance they were doing it.
And you know they didn't close the grocery stores until after they are maid
went shopping.

That is what gets me so mad about this, is that people -- the people that
are making these rules are making these rules with the exemptions built in
for themselves. And we have seen this with Lori Lightfoot, with Gavin
Newsom, with Andrew Cuomo and his brother, Chris. They all take advantage
of their status and their political power.

Meanwhile, we -- well, not we, because I have -- I do wield a bit of power,
Dana. I don't know if you know that.

PERINO:  I feel it.

GUTFELD:  We do have to look at the statistics. Emily is right. There is no
science behind the outdoor dining. It's ridiculous. When the temperature is
70 freaking degrees that you're sending people inside, inside in tight
rooms which are often stuffy, which is -- viruses enjoy places where there
is not air current flowing, right? So this doesn't help.

And then you're threatening to arrest people. Where are you going to put
them, in jails, where COVID is rising? So this makes no sense at all. But
I'm a broken record on this. We have been talking about this forever. The
prison of two ideas, you know, freedom versus lockdown. We have to keep
starting this conversation over every single day.

Because we are looking at deaths, and we are looking at risk, but we have
to remind ourselves that death and injury is around every corner. And we
have to look at this with a sober eye. The case of fatality rate has
dropped substantially to 2.3 percent since May, and that is because we're
better at treatment. We are testing more.

So when there are more cases, the death rate will drop. And we are just
better at isolating the vulnerable, which is what we should keep doing.

PERINO:  Well, the hypocrisy has continued. My sister lives in -- just
outside of Denver. She sent me this morning the word that Denver Mayor
Michael Hancock, you know, he boarded a flight to go to Houston, and he's
on his way to Mississippi. But then his office had put out a statement
saying don't travel this weekend.

WILL CAIN, FOX NEWS HOST:  The rules are not for the rule makers, Dana.
They're for the little people. They're for us. They're for the rule
followers, the citizens. But I'm actually proud of Americans for showing an
independent spirit. You know, Dana, I know you know would remember this.
But after 9/11, we had a ton of conversations and debates about how much
freedom we are willing to trade for security.

Why are we having those same conversations when it comes to this pandemic
where surely we're trading just as many? More freedoms for security from a
virus that we have to take seriously? With all due respect to Geraldo, grin
and bear what? Bear curfew, you have to be home 10:00 p.m. Bear the fact
that these mandates have invaded our families, our holidays, our
traditions.

That we can't have a beer without ordering an appetizer in New York? That
now in Vermont, there's this east German stazi (ph) style encouragement of
children to tell on each other about what they did over the Thanksgiving
holidays. Geraldo, at some point, grin and bear it is not enough. And by
the way, before we move on to Greg's point about this.

To Greg's point really quick about politicians versus freedom-loving
Americans. My favorite little authoritarian through this whole thing so
far, I think is actually Republican Governor Larry Hogan from Maryland, who
said earlier this week, you don't have a constitutional right to go mask-
less. He compared it to drunk driving.

You don't have a constitutional right to drink and drive, so you don't have
a constitutional right to go mask free. The constitution binds governors
and politicians. It doesn't bind --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA:  -- this jingle rhetoric -- this faux rage that you are generating
among people rather than stressing wear the damn mask, keep your distance,
wash your hands. Let's get practical here. There is a vaccine that's coming
tomorrow. Why can't we just be patient? We have got three weeks.

CAIN:  Geraldo, I promise you --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA:  -- we have record deaths here in Ohio yesterday, not six months
ago, not six months from now, yesterday. People here are scared to death.

(CROSSTALK)

CAIN:  I assure you this outrage is not faux. I'm telling you you can take
this virus seriously, and the American people can be and have been
responsible. We don't need politicians to mandate --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA:  Wear your damn mask.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  All right, guys guys, good talk. President Trump issuing a full
pardon to General Michael Flynn. That just happened. We'll talk about it
next on The Five.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD:  President Trump issuing a full pardon for Michael Flynn, his
former national security adviser. Trump tweeted, quote, "it is my great
honor to announce that General Michael T. Flynn has been granted a full
pardon. Congratulations to General Flynn and his wonderful family. I know
you will now have a truly fantastic Thanksgiving."

Flynn had pled guilty in 2017 to lying in the FBI in the early stages of
the Russia investigation, i.e., hoax. So Geraldo, I believe that this is
great news. I know you feel the same way, because we know he was entrapped
by a group of people out for a Trump scalp. And he was just happen to -- he
was a victim of circumstances. That is me.

RIVERA:  I don't know about that -- I don't know about the circumstances.
But bravo, President Trump, you did exactly the right thing. General Flynn
was a great soldier in Afghanistan and in Iraq. He became very political, I
get that. I get that he rubbed some people the wrong way because he was a
political activist/

But this whole thing with Kislyak, the Russian ambassador and those
conversations that he had. He knew Kislyak that he had been in Moscow. He
had been in Washington, D.C. together. He's just chatting him up, and he be
cool. And for the FBI to come to the White House and entrap him, Greg, you
are exactly right. It was entrapment.

They went there to get him, and it was a perjury trap. You know, they asked
him a question that they knew that he could not answer without embarrassing
himself. And then they parlayed that. They wanted to get them fired or get
him arrested. And because of their greedy, anti-Trump hatred with the whole
bureau was churned by Mueller into this revenge squad to get Trump. Flynn
was just collateral damage, Greg.

GUTFELD:  Yeah. You know, Dana -- and the other thing that was just
bothersome is this Judge Sullivan who refused, I guess, to grant dismissal,
even though pretty much everybody was on the same page.

PERINO:  Right. So as I understand it, judges are very reluctant to
overturn things when you had somebody that pled guilty originally. Then he
wanted to change his plea. But then you had the Justice Department say
we're cool with him changing his plea. So then the judge, Sullivan, he's
just dragged this out for about six months.

And I know that, you know, I'm sure that Michael Flynn and his lawyer and
his family would have preferred a dismissal, because that means we -- there
is nothing on your record. There is nothing. Now, a full pardon means also
that he has a full pardon. But I do think that a dismissal would have been
better. But given that the judge was not granting that, that the pardon was
given, and now that case is moot in front of the judge.

GUTFELD:  Moot, I love that word. That is a great word. I'll remind people
that if anybody upset about the Michael Flynn think, remember who President
Obama pardoned. An AFLN in terrorist who was responsible for something like
a 100 bombings. Will, this is the first time I have asked you a question in
maybe 10 years. Back in the days of Redeye, you have definitely cleaned up,
I have to say.

CAIN:  Thank you.

GUTFELD:  What are your thoughts on any other pardons? You can talk about
Flynn, but do you see any other pardons coming up?

CAIN:  Well, we will see about other pardons. Let me talk about Flynn, if I
might. Adam Schiff has talked about the president's pardoning process being
something akin to organized crime. What would organized crime look like? It
would look like bringing all the levers of power onto a single individual,
using extortion to break that person, both judicially, and legislatively,
and financially.

And all of that is what happened to Michael Flynn. He is broke. The Justice
Department originally, the court system, his own lawyers, the FBI, all
levered against this one single individual to see this man receive a pardon
is honestly an act of justice. Maybe, to Dana's point, he might have got a
dismissal, but this is the only guaranteed path to justice to Michael Flynn
that he very much deserves at this moment.

GUTFELD:  So Emily, I'm going to ask you a curve ball question, so be
prepared. I hope you are prepared. You are a lawyer. A question was asked
in the Cavuto hour whether Donald Trump should pardon himself, and the
person who was answering the question might have been Karl Rove, said no,
that would make him look guilty.

And I'm thinking to myself that  people that are saying they're going to
after Trump don't even have a crime to charge him. So it is like he should
pardon himself because they're going to after him and then find the charge.
So wouldn't you tell Trump, yeah, you should pardon yourself because these
people are coming after you without even a crime?

COMPAGNO:  Greg, I like your style. I think that is a really creative move
for him in the form of messaging NPR. But legally, it is moot, to use one
of your favorite words. Because without a crime, without a conviction,
there is nothing to pardon. So if I can as well as peak to this. To me, you
guys, it's not the Flynn pardon. It's the reason the pardon was necessary.

And just taking it a step further, from you talking about Judge Sullivan.
You guys, he sat on an uncontested Department of Justice motion to dismiss
for almost seven months. Now, we know that the incoming administration has
pledged not to use the DOJ to wield it like a weapon, but I hope that
includes conducting an audit of the judiciary and holding responsible these
kinds of errant judges that are clearly political activists.

And you know me, I'm not usually a fearmonger, but this to me was
absolutely absurd. And he truly tried to circumnavigate the justice system.
So I hope moving forward that at least we see some of these judges being
held responsible.

GUTFELD:  Absolutely. You know, Dana, I know he's going to pardon more
people. I am putting out the name of Lil' Kim. 

PERINO:  What did Lil' Kim do?

GUTFELD:  She went to jail because she refused to snitch on her friends and
got a year for lying to -- who you ever lie to in court, who is that
person, the judge?

PERINO:  The judge.

GUTFELD:  Yeah. I'm pretty much a law abiding person. But it happened in a
shoot-out back in, like, 2001. So -- and I think that Trump should do it
before the Grammy's, because she did win a Grammy for the Lady Marmalade
remake.

PERINO:  I love that album.

GUTFELD:  Trump did this, then Lil' Kim can go to the Grammy's and thank
Donald Trump at the Grammy's. I know you are watching.

PERINO:  Great idea, Greg.

GUTFELD:  It's a great idea. Pardon Lil' Kim.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  But don't pardon that other person. Do not do it. 

GUTFELD:  I know what you are saying. But wouldn't it drive people crazy if
he pardon --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  All right, Big Ed.

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA:  -- the congressman from Staten Island.

GUTFELD:  There you go. That's not bad. All right, Joe Biden answering
critics who say he's just Obama's third term.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

RIVERA (on camera):  Welcome back, everybody. Is the Biden administration
destined to be nothing more than a third term for President Obama? Biden's
incoming cabinet is chock full with many familiar faces and giving both
supporters and critics a major case of Obama era deja vu. But the
president-elect said, hey, not so fast.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

BIDEN:  This is not a third Obama term, because we face a totally different
world then we faced in the Obama/Biden administration. The president, this
-- President Trump has changed the landscape. It has become America first,
which meant (ph) America alone. We find ourselves in a position where
alliances are being frayed.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

RIVERA (on camera):  The president-elect is also laying out his first 100
days in office what they would be like.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

BIDEN:  I am going to make a commitment the first 100 days. I will send an
immigration bill to the United States Senate with a pathway to citizenship
for over 11 million undocumented people in America.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

RIVERA (on camera):  I like that idea of giving the pathway to citizenship
for the 11 million. It won't fly. I think the Senate though, Greg, will
hold it up, will never allow it to be passed. I think they should
compromise and go with DACA, get the dreamers legalized. Do that first,
what do you think?

GUTFELD:  Well, first of all, let me talk about what he said, which was
incorrect, that he said our alliances are afraid under Trump here. That is
not true at all. He's got the whole equation backwards. Alliances do not
make a country strong. A strong country gets you alliances. And we saw
that. We saw that under Trump. We saw so many people realizing that, you
know what, he's not that bad.

He's OK. And then he starts working, and everybody realizes, well, he knows
how to create an economy. There are no bodybags coming home. All of a
sudden, this kind of a person that they perceived as obnoxious turns out to
be a pretty good leader. To your point about amnesty, OK? This again is
like who is this helping? Who is this helping, and why is he doing it?

Because the fact is we had the lowest unemployment for minorities and
teenagers and women in modern history. Why was that? Because jobs were
available, and he's going to reverse that. It's not going to help people.

RIVERA:  You know, Dana, you recognize these names. Let me -- Janet Yellen,
she's the new treasury secretary, Ron Klain, who was, you know, the vice
president's chief of staff is now going to be his chief of staff as
president. He is bringing back old John Kerry, Jake Sullivan, Tony Blinken,
it is like the return, Dana, of the preppies.

PERINO:  Yeah. So I think that -- one thing that we have learned about Joe
Biden is that he likes to surround himself with people that he's known for
a long time. He likes the fact that some of these people have had multiple
years of experience. And don't forget, Geraldo, that -- I think everybody
on the list that he has announced so far has already been confirmed by the
Senate, at least for something along the way.

And so that makes Senate confirmation a little bit easier. And Biden's,
like, seems to be quite happy to be seen as, like, the normal, boring guy.
Like, that is how he ran. That is how he plan to govern, back to normal,
everything is fine. So I think that maybe we should just let them get their
feet on the ground and see how it looks, because no term is exactly like a
previous president.

Something always happens. I mean, just take a look at this year. COVID
happened. Something happened. Something changes. In 2001, 9/11, like,
something always changes that makes it a little bit different. So it is not
exactly a third Obama term until they get underway, but it looks like it at
the moment.

GUTFELD:  But do they deserve patience from -- after what they have done?
That is the hard thing that --

PERINO:  I am just saying that I'm not prepared to say that it's a third
Obama until they're actually in office.

GUTFELD:  Yeah. I don't know. They deserve --

(CROSSTALK)

RIVERA:  Well, that may be. But, you know, Will Cain, looking at this team,
what you don't see is Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, AOC, none of The
Squad, the entire progressive wing of the Democratic Party, at least so
far, has been cut out of the new Biden administration, Will.

CAIN:  That is true, Geraldo. Still, I think it will be a third Obama term,
an Obama term on steroids. Dana is right. This administration will face
different issues than the Obama administration face. But the tools and
tactics, Dana, I think will be the same. Let me give you an example. Once
there's some pushback on this immigration pursuit, what do you think will
happen? They'll revert to identity politics that which is defined not just
the Obama administration, but the Democratic Party for some years now.

They'll call anyone who disagrees with it a racist. I give you, for
example, President Obama this morning on The Breakfast Club, when he
pondered on why Latinos voted in increasing numbers for President Trump. He
said, well, they forgave, "racist things," because they are evangelicals,
and they're into abortion, and they're --

RIVERA: Will, I think we have the president -- Will, hold on. I think we
have the president, President Obama saying that. Here's POTUS 44.

CAIN: Right.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: There's a lot of
Evangelical Hispanics, who, you know, the fact that Trump says racist
things about Mexicans or puts detainees, you know, undocumented workers in
cages, they think that's less important than the fact that, you know, he
supports their views on gay marriage or abortion.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CAIN: So, Geraldo --

RIVERA: And it could not be more wrong from my point of view.

CAIN: On so many levels, on so many levels, Geraldo. First of all, think
about the stones it takes from President Obama to accuse President Trump or
criticize President Trump about putting kids in cages. This started under
the Obama administration.

Number two, President Trump is for gay marriage. In fact, it was Obama who
was not for gay marriage in the beginning, and thus President Trump doubled
his vote with the LGBTQ community. Every step of the way, he's wrong. He
condescends on religious grounds. He condescends to Latinos there.

So, to Dana's point, what I'm saying is, they'll revert to identity
politics. They'll revert to this hammer, this tool they use, no matter what
issue comes before them in this administration.

RIVERA: The reason Latinos voted in the increasing numbers for President
Trump is because Latinos are inherently socially conservative. And I don't
meet the generalized, but I am on the inside on this one. They are faith-
based, family-oriented, you know, they're entrepreneurial, they're natural
Republicans. They just have to recognize that fact.

But, Emily, you know what is interesting to me also is, you know, the Biden
team is saying, now, they're going to be back at the head of the table in
this international community, with the World Health Organization, and NATO,
and so forth. Do you think that the American people want the United States
to abandon America first and embrace -- re-embrace like the palace -- the
Paris Climate Accord or these other -- these other international
agreements, Emily?

COMPAGNO: I don't think the American people want their interests deflated
in any way regardless of what you call it or where you're saying that we
are sitting. I think, to me, this new administration is sort of like when
Journey got Arnel Pineda, where you go to their concerts and it sounds like
Journey, but it's not. It's still not Steve Perry.

And here, I think we can look forward to, unfortunately, some same
holdovers like that capitulating foreign policy that we saw during the
Obama administration. Hopefully, we won't be subjected to that definitely
elitist, classic Obama talking down to people like you just played and in
addition to -- remember his comments about how Midwesterners cling to their
religion and their guns.

But in terms of him focusing on immigration, and immigration reform, I
think what's interesting to me is the continued oversimplification, which
is that all you were hearing from the administration is that it's not going
to be a racist policy.

And finally, we will welcome immigrants without any consideration or
talking about the push factors coming from Central and South America in
part or the cartel or the international narco cartel drug industry that
plays such a momentous part. And there's tons more but I know we're out of
time now.

RIVERA: OK. I wonder if they're going to tear the wall down. I wonder how
that would go over. Defund the police backfires. A judge hands down a
ruling allowing fed up residents to sue the city over cuts to the police
force.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CAIN: Welcome back to this special edition of THE FIVE. Now, fed up
Minneapolis residents are upset with the surging crime rate in that big
city and they just got a big win in court. A judge is ruling that they are
allowed to sue the city over major cuts to the police force. Now, this
comes as violent crime has skyrocketed in Minneapolis. Nearly 200 officers
have left the force since the beginning of the year.

So, could this happen in Seattle next because there, the city council is
voting this week to cut the police budget by 18 percent. Emily, I know
you're from Seattle. You're familiar with that community. What will be the
reaction if the police budget there's cut by 18 percent?

COMPAGNO: We're already seeing the reaction and people are upset and they
hate this because it's not rational. So, right now the size of the police
force has been decimated already. It's the size of the -- of what it was in
1990, yet the population of Seattle has grown by almost 50 percent.

Now, the city council said, well, this was to invest in alternative
measures to provide healthier outcomes for minority communities. And of
course, the mayor says yes, this is deliberate and measured and I applaud
this. But it's such a fallacy and it's so naive. Here's just one small
example.

The Seattle Police Force has a Harbor Unit, because here with our unique
topography we have 100 miles of waterways and coastlines, right. So,
there's businesses homes, public roads that are along the water's edge. So,
our police force that is in the harbor unit, they act as paramedics,
firefighters, coast guard, and cops.

And guess what the police budget pays for. It pays for their overtime,
which is the only way that these guys can obtain and maintain the licenses
required for them to provide and fulfill these roles, right, like scuba
diving and piloting these boats. So, this isn't measured are healthy by any
means. It's simple and basic economics, and it's not a functioning healthy
society.

CAIN: Right. Geraldo, one of the plaintiffs in Minneapolis said they're in
a pandemic of violence, that the city is bleeding. What are your thoughts?

RIVERA: My thought -- basic thought is that will you reap what you sow? I
mean, these folks have been actively, you know, trying to get the cops
defunded. Well, guess what? The cops are defunded, and now violence is
spiking. But what broke my heart, going back to Seattle one second, when
Carmen Best quit, a black woman, wonderful leader of the Seattle Police
Department. She quitted the disgust.

I mean, what the hell? All the people who are quitting, a lot of the chief
-- the high brass that acquitting are minority police officers, the most
effective possible antidotes to crime. And they're leaving the job because
of this radicalism that knows no bounds, Will.

CAIN: Hey, Greg, it strikes me that the victims of these rising crime rates
are the ones that are supposed to be helped by this idea of defund the
police.

GUTFELD: Yes. And actually, to Geraldo his point about the fact that these
leaders and minorities, a lot of the people that are -- that are causing
this to happen are white, over-educated leftists who are miserable people,
who are on the street, destroying businesses, and harassing, harassing
minorities.

I have a solution. We need two 911s. You have a real 911 for people who
aren't hypocrites for the citizens who need help. And then you have a fake
911 that's for like the Portland mayor, and the Seattle mayor, and people
who say burn it all down until they call the cops.

And when you call fake 911, they connect you to somebody just like you. And
they send in that little leftist to your house. And that person helps you
with the mugger or the -- or the arsonist, because right now they do need
to reap what they sow. These children need to get sick on the candy. They
need to get the hangover to learn their lesson.

CAIN: Dana, I'll give you the final thought.

PERINO: I just would say that I think this has even longer-term
consequences what's happening now. Because how many young people that might
have thought that they wanted to be police officers are making a different
decision right now. And then you're going to have a situation where not
only do you have fewer police officers now, but well into the future is
going to be hard to get them to want to sign up.

CAIN: It's an absolute travesty happening in multiple cities now across
this country. All right, stay right there because the "FASTEST SEVEN" is up
next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

COMPAGNO: Welcome back. All right, what the heck is this? A mysterious
metal structure randomly discovered in the Utah desert? It's stumping
officials and the world? Is it an avant-garde art installation or message
left behind by aliens? We may never know. But the truth is out there.

OK, you guys know how I feel about aliens. Yes, I believe but I think this
is just an unauthorized artwork on federal property. What say you, Will
Cain?

CAIN: I don't know. I'm not going to dismiss some kind of alien message or
alien shrine. Look, if somebody told me there were zombies on the other end
of this building right now, I wouldn't dismiss them. This is 2020. I think
in the spring, the government acknowledged the existence of UFOs.

RIVERA: This is New York. There are zombies.

CAIN: I don't -- Geraldo, I do not dismiss anything. Not election fraud,
not zombies, not UFO, not a message from the aliens. I don't dismiss
anything.

COMPAGNO: All right, Greg, what do you say?

GUTFELD: Well, you know how I feel about aliens. So, this was a total PR
marketing move to sell more monoliths. The monolith -- the monolith
industry has hit quite a slump since 2001 Space Odyssey. It had a big, big
leap there when they had the monolith there. And then the monolith -- the
whole market just went down and tanked.

I think I should have learned this. Imagine if I had built a giant cover of
my book The Plus and left it in the middle of the Sahara Desert. I could
have sold a zillion copies. Stupid me.

COMPAGNO: Dana, what do you say?

PERINO: I think that Greg's explanation is more believable to me than UFOs.
I think that we're -- I think that when this mystery is found out, it'll be
someone having a little bit --

GUTFELD: Everybody is going to want a monolith.

PERINO: I don't want one.

COMPAGNO: Geraldo, what do you think, zombies or no zombies then?

RIVERA: I think, Emily, that somebody was very creative. I love that modern
art aspect of it. It looks like it's very substantial. It cost a bunch of
money. So, I think that Dana is onto something which he says we should
track the creator just because of the curiosity of someone who would invest
so much in so little.

CAIN: You all are too cynical. Hey, Greg, the problem with you -- the
problem with you putting a book copy in the desert, Greg, is you have no
idea how long you have to leave it there before it's discovered. How long
is this thing been sitting there?

GUTFELD: That's true. That is true.

COMPAGNO: All right, next up, Google is releasing data on the most uniquely
searched Thanksgiving side edition state by state so let's break it down by
host. For Greg and my home state of California, lots of people are
searching for mac and cheese, which seems kind of basic. Will is from
Texas, where they apparently love fruit salad. Geraldo is from New York
where cornbread stuffing is all the rage. And, finally, Dana is from
Wyoming where crescent rolls are the bomb.

OK, Geraldo, how do you feel about your state's choice? Do you agree with
it?

RIVERA: Well, here in Ohio, it's stuffed mushrooms. But I like the
cornbread of New York. I was raised on it. It's delicious. I love stuffing.
I'm all about stuffing. I'm all about the size. I'm all about canned
cranberry sauce. I like the canned cranberry, you know, the one -- what's
the brand?

COMPAGNO: Yes, with the ridges.

PERINO: Ocean Spray.

COMPAGNO: Ocean -- yes.

RIVERA: Ocean Spray, Ocean Spray.

COMPAGNO: With the ridges.

RIVERA: With the ridges.

COMPAGNO: So, Dana, how do you feel about those crescent rolls? And are you
-- is it stuffing versus gravy? Is that how you -- the two --

PERINO: I like stuffed -- I like the gravy on this -- I think gravy should
go on the stuffing. I think crescent rolls are fantastic. I did read
through this list and I was really confused that North Dakota's most search
for topic or side dish is keto soup. How? Why? I don't get it. Somebody
from North Dakota?

COMPAGNO: All the Californians are moving there. That's why.

GUTFELD: That's a euphemism for urine.

COMPAGNO: Oh, gosh. All right, so, Greg, you and me from California so it's
all about mac and cheese. I thought that was interesting searching for it
because it seems kind of typical, right?

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, I have a theory on people who have special sides
that they bring. When someone prides themselves on a special Thanksgiving
side, it's because no one will tell them it's bad. So, it becomes a
tradition. It becomes a yearly thing like creamed corn became a tradition
because no one wanted to tell Peggy the pilgrim that it's kind of gross.

Ambrosia salad, like, who brings Ambrosia salad unless they were lied to
their entire lives that Ambrosia salad mattered.

PERINO: OK, it might have.

COMPAGNO: Edward Scissorhands -- remember, that was like the main food in
Edward Scissorhands, Ambrosia salad. That where I learned what that was.

GUTFELD: I rest my case.

COMPAGNO: All right, Will, tell us about fruit salad.

CAIN: No, I can't. I can't, Emily. This is fake news. This poll is fake
news designed to troll Texans. I would trade Geraldo right now. Geraldo,
will you trade me that cornbread pudding, please? I would trade you that --
if you have sweet potato, I'll do anything --

RIVERA: For fruit salad? No, thanks.

CAIN: Sweet potatoes, anything. I would take that cream corn that Greg
hates.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: Pumpkin pie. What about pumpkin pie?

PERINO: That's not a side dish.

GUTFELD: That's a dessert, Geraldo. Geez, typical hipster.

COMPAGNO: Gosh. All right, guys, "ONE MORE THING" is up next. Stay with us.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Hey there. It's time now for "ONE MORE THING." Greg, what you got?

GUTFELD: All right, so if you're stuck inside Saturday night, we have a
brand new "GREG GUTFELD SHOW" and what a cast. Tom Shillue, Joe Machi, Kat
Timpf, Tyrus. That's Saturday, November 28th, 10:00 p.m. It's news.

Now, we'll do this. Greg's Ice Breaking News. Now, if you ever take the
subway in New York City or anywhere for that matter, sometimes you come out
of the subway and you're just not really sure where you are. Well, this is
me. I'm like, whenever I come out from the underground, I never know where
the heck I am. Then, he got his -- he got his lunch and now he's going
back. There he goes breaking the ice.

PERINO: I don't think that's his lunch. I think that he's making a dam.

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't know. That damn, Beaver. We'll be right back with
more news.

PERINO: All right, I'm going to go next. I haven't done this in a while. I
have a book recommendation. This is a book that I'm in love with. I love
it. It goes on sale on Amazon on Friday. She's self-publishing. This is by
Aimee Mayo. It's called Talking To This Sky.

So, who is Aimee Mayo? She's a Grammy-nominated songwriter and author.
These are some songs that she wrote that you'll know. This One's for the
Girls, Martina McBride. Every Time I Hear That Song, Blake Shelton. Amazed,
Lone Star, and then Boys II Men. I mean, she is amazing.

This book to me is like educated the glass castle and also something
hilarious all in one. She's had an incredible life. She's been through a
lot. She's overcome -- it's amazing.

GUTFELD: Hold the Mayo.

PERINO: Hold the Mayo. Here it is. One funny story, when she was growing
up. She thought she truly believed when she was like 13 or 14 that she was
going to marry Rick Springfield. And she went to a concert, and she got
back --

GUTFELD: Her too?

PERINO: Yes, her too. And then, years later, guess what, they meet in
songwriting. It's amazing story.

GUTFELD: Wait, they got married? What?

COMPAGNO: That's like, the secret.

PERINO: No, they meet, and they have good songwriting.

GUTFELD: No, I just hooked up with her.

PERINO: That would have been a good story, though, as well. All right,
Geraldo, you're next.

GUTFELD: I'm joking.

RIVERA: Well, two quick things. One, I just wanted to note, seriously, the
passing of this week at the age of 93 of New York's first black mayor,
David Dinkins. He was a gracious, welcoming, underrated, fair-minded
gentleman who could show us more of his moderation and his optimism on
matters of race going forward.

Closer to home, my 15-year-old soul is starting an ethnic cookbook, you
know, with famously Jew-Rican, half Jewish half of Puerto Rican. So she
made her first meal in homage to my mom, potato latkes on the one side.
That was from my mom's favorite. And rice and beans from my dad's favorite
recipe on the other. So, it's rice and beans and potato latkes is in the
Rivera house.

PERINO: Well, she has grown into a very beautiful young woman.

RIVERA: Thank you. Thank you, Dana.

PERINO: Will Cain, what you got. You better make this good.

CAIN: Yes. So, I know this --

PERINO: You better make this "ONE MORE THING" good.

CAIN: Well, I know this is the moment on THE FIVE when you plug stuff. So,
can I say that I'll be hosting "THE STORY WITH MARTHA MCCALLUM" on Friday
night. Please come join me.

PERINO: Oh, I forgot to plug. I'm doing that tonight.

CAIN: You just came over the top of me. But I want to say this. I got into
not a debate, a discussion with my buddy, Pete Hegseth, on "FOX & FRIENDS"
about what you do when you are frying a turkey, because we keep having
these turkeys explode, right? Like, you can see on your screen.

I think we have -- that's right. There's 1,700 cooking fires every year,
triple the number -- it's not funny, Greg -- Geraldo.

COMPAGNO: Oh, my gosh.

CAIN: Hey, here's the tip. Here's the tip. Don't put a frozen turkey into a
fryer full of oil. That's it.

PERINO: That's a -- that's a good tip. Emily, I got 25 seconds for you.

COMPAGNO: Smoky Mountain Service Dogs is an incredible organization that
pairs mobility assistance dogs with the disabled U.S. veterans. And they
just got a batch of new puppies that I wanted to show you, Winston, Sully,
Oak, Blaze, and Duncan.

PERINO: Super cute.

COMPAGNO: It's a really wonderful organization doing incredible things.

PERINO: Fabulous. All right, thank you. And that is --

COMPAGNO: So, if you're interested in puppy raising --

PERINO: That's it for us, everyone. Tune in tomorrow for our Thanksgiving
fan mail special.

END

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