This is a rush transcript from "The Five," August 9, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO,] FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino, along with Katie Pavlich, Jessica Tarlov, Will Cain, and Greg Gutfeld. It's five o'clock in New York City. This is THE FIVE.

The mainstream media being accused of a major double standard over its COVID coverage. Outlets facing criticism for hardly mentioning Barack Obama's 60th birthday party this weekend in Martha's Vineyards where the photo show the former president dancing without a mask among a celebrity filled crowd. One New York Times writer facing backlash for how she is defending this scaled down celebration.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNIE KARNI, WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT, NEW YORK TIMES: Other people said, you know, this is really being overblown. They're following all the safety precautions. People are going to sporting events that are bigger than this. This is going to be safe.

JIM ACOSTA, CHIEF WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT, CNN: Yes.

KARNI: This is a sophisticated vaccinated crowd and this is just about optics, it's not about safety.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO (on camera): The press taking a different approach when it comes to GOP governors by directly blaming them for the spread of the new coronavirus strain.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MATTHEW DOWD, FORMER CHIEF STRATEGIST FOR PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: Greg Abbott is in a race to be the worst possible governor in the country and the only one he has competition with right now is Governor DeSantis of Florida.

ACOSTA: Instead of the Delta variant, why not call it the DeSantis variant.

MIKA BRZEZINSKI, HOST, MSNBC: In Florida we have a governor more interested in playing politics than saving lives, the DeSantis variant.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: So, I don't care. I read that the president had a birthday party, I think it's good for him. If you're vaccinated and you want to have a party and you invite people to your house, like, that's fine. He's not in charge of anybody, he's not telling anybody what to do. But, Greg, was this like the most Marie Antoinette that we have seen since Gavin Newsom went to the French Laundry.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: I just want to know, where did they scale stuff back. Like, did they see --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Larry David didn't come.

GUTFELD: Yes, instead of three Kardashians they said we're putting the limit on two, and there's going to be no bottle service at the helipad. that was it. that was it.

But I'm with, you know, look, Obama just told the rest of America, don't just live your life, live your best life.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: that's what he's telling you. He goes, I am having a massive birthday party. I'm telling you half the people there he didn't even know, right? But he wasn't going to change anything. But now he has to do something else because the problem with him is he had a massive bash while the unvaccinated rates in the city among blacks remains near 70 percent and he is somebody who could change that.

So, you're done with the party. Why don't you do something? Why don't you create some kind of free speaking tour, right? Invite some of your famous friends and the only entrance fee is that when you're in line, you get vaccinated.

You could go to every inner city, whether you want to do Manhattan or Oakland, D.C., Atlanta, Detroit, Harlem, Bronx, whatever. The impact could be incredible. He could really do something. But instead, you know, he's going to have a party. As for these other idiots, you know, it was great to watch Acosta think that that was clever. What if we call it the -- what was it?

PERINO: DeSantis.

GUTFELD: DeSantis. It was like he took one from column a and another thing from column b and he put it together and he thought that's really edgy, and then you have the dumb broad from the morning doing the same thing, can't remember her name.

PERINO: And also, Will, as soon as you heard Annie Karni of the New York Times, basically trying to protect celebrities from any scorn by saying but they're sophisticated. And then --

(CROSSTALK)

WILL CAIN, FOX NEWS CO-HOST: that is a sophisticated crowd. Yes.

PERINO: Yes. Not like those people that went on a motorcycle ride in Sturgis.

CAIN: Right. Right. Let's be clear who we're talking about here, these are sophisticated people, vaccinated people.

The only thing I disagree with Greg is, I'm happy that President Obama is living his best life but he's not encouraging others to live their best life.

GUTFELD: By -- but that's what I'm saying, by his own actions he is.

CAIN: He is by his actions but by his political party's words and by his political ideology they are blatantly saying there are two classes of people in this world. Dana laid it out perfectly.

Look, this is a sequel to a very bad movie. This is COVID part two, the Delta variant. We saw it all throughout the first version, as you mention, Gavin Newsom going to the French Laundry, we now have Muriel Bowser officiating web -- weddings maskless while instituting a mask mandate in D.C.

And here we have them talking about masking our children in schools in this school year while President Obama has a party with four to five hundred people largely maskless. Great, live your best life. May we live our best life as well?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: What do you think of all this, Katie?

GUTFELD: I want to party.

KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I think everybody should be living their lives normally. I think that they should be moving on with, whether it's Sturgis or whether it's President Obama having a party.

The problem is that the White House, the CDC, Democratic governors around the country, are still -- they still have a boot on people's livelihoods because they're still threatening that if you don't do this or if you don't do this, we're going to shut your business down or we're going to implement mandates on you.

And the idea that they do want to put two-year-olds and children in school and mask for hours on end without any real data to back up that it actually works, by the way, I think is really appalling. And when you look at the standard the media has, a sophisticated vaccinated crowd. This is a class war.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: You know, Nancy Pelosi wants hair dressers to work in California when you're doing her hair. The D.J. at the Obama party can D.J. for a large group of 500 people during COVID as long as he's working for President Obama for a party. But if you're a D.J. who wants to do a regular Italian wedding in New Jersey where there's going to be restrictions on you and we are not going to allow you to work.

And the bottom line is that, this is still America and Americans are not subjects. They are citizens and they certainly are not peasants who are supposed to play by a separate set of rules than the elitist ruling class in Washington or in Hollywood. And that's exactly what this is.

Because there are -- there are real consequences for working people who are worried about losing their job again, as a result of what people like this and the decisions that they are making for their lives.

PERINO: Jessica, do you think President Obama could do something more in terms of helping black Americans become more comfortable getting the vaccine?

JESSICA TARLOV, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I think honestly all of us could always do something more. There's an opportunity, I like Greg's idea. I mean, I'm not a black American but I would get vaccinated a second time if it meant that I could go see Barack Obama speak.

We can all do more. And this was a big conversation early on in the pandemic when the vaccine was coming about how the people that we really need to be out there talking about it for the black and brown communities are people that matter to those communities. So, Jay Z and Beyonce and LeBron James and what a big deal it was when NBA players, you know, had one shot and not the second shot and ended up in protocols and it's confusing.

I mean, this is a confusing disease and you say it's a terrible sequel, the Delta variant. It's really terrible, though. I mean, when -- I don't -- I'm not calling it the DeSantis strain but there are thousands and thousands and thousands of people who are now hospitalized in Florida, and a lot of them children.

And this is what 20 percent of the new cases of Delta are amongst children and that's why it's so important that adults are getting vaccinated, that you do your part and you do that to protect your children who are not approved to have the vaccine yet.

So, I'm all for a full court press on the vaccination fronts, but I do agree, if he wants to have a party, he should have it. It was outside, where we know that it doesn't get passed in the same way.

PAVLICH: So was Sturgis. Sturgis was also outside.

TARLOV: And, but if you watch, I don't know if anyone watched Bill Maher, but he shouted out Lollapalooza which was also a huge violation --

PERINO: Yes.

TARLOV: -- a hundred thousand people and I appreciate that from the liberal side. Call out the big party in Chicago, don't just call out a motorcycle rally and --

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: How about we don't call out anybody and let people make their own decisions --

TARLOV: No, because their decisions are --

PAVLICH: -- the point about how they want to manage their own risks.

TARLOV: Because they are taking a toll on first of all, our healthcare system. I hear that from conservatives all the time. I don't want to pay for your decisions. We're paying for what's going on in these ICUs. We are. Every single one of them, people on ventilators --

(CROSSTALK)

CAIN: I want to --

GUTFELD: You know, we've been doing that for 40, 50 years with cigarettes.

PAVLICH: And obesity.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know what I think? It would be good to hear Governor DeSantis respond to what you're saying because I never hear the numbers. Like what's the exact number of the children in these hospitals?

CAIN: that's exactly the point, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: I read it's 20 percent.

GUTFELD: I don't know. And also, it's like what we know these kids aren't supposed to be vaccinated and so what are we supposed to be doing. But I would love to know exactly what the numbers are because I always feel like you're not telling us.

CAIN: that's exactly right, Greg. I don't think this is a story about vaccination, this is a story about reality. The point is the elite like President Obama are not living like Delta variant is this incredibly scary thing that your language represented there, Jessica. And we make decisions --

TARLOV: For vaccinated people.

CAIN: -- for our children. When we make decisions for our children and I'm saying this in all honesty and curiosity, I have to make decisions. I want to know the numbers --

GUTFELD: Yes.

CAIN: -- that Greg points out, I want to know what's the hospitalizations and the mortality for Delta and the rest of COVID in the numbers. Because what I have seen is it's less lethal, it has less of an effect on hospitalizations than the common flu.

TARLOV: OK. Well, we do know that it is not a problem for people who are vaccinated. So, if you're watching please get yourself vaccinated if you're 12 and other. We do know that there are more cases of children that's being reported in places like Florida, in liberal states as well, as California, New York, Arkansas.

There was a doctor there who is pleading for people to get vaccinated because they are completely overrun. So, I believe the numbers are available, I will text you later when I have them all.

CAIN: Awesome. Let's do it on air.

PERINO: Jessica, you are awesome.

All right. Ahead, carnage in Chicago after a police officer is gunned down in the light of duty after just a routine traffic stop.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

CAIN (on camera): Criminals getting more brazen in Chicago after a police officer is gunned down during a routine traffic stop. Twenty-nine-year-old Officer Ella French was killed in the line of duty while her partner remains in critical condition after being shot three times. Sadly, the carnage doesn't end there.

This past weekend alone, 73 people were shot and 10 were killed in the windy city. Despite this out of control violence, Democrat Cori Bush is doubling down on her call to defund police.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DANA BASH, CHIEF POLITICAL CORRESPONDENT, CNN: You said you have your own security, while almost in the same breath advocating for defunding police.

REP. CORI BUSH (D-MO): The reason why we have these problems is because those that were in power and could have fixed this problem before now didn't and cost -- it cost lives. We're adding more money to the police, but we're still dying.

(CROSSTALK)

BASH: Congresswoman, I --

BUSH: So, something has to change.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CAIN: So, you know, Katie, we just got done talking about, essentially two classes of people in this country, elites. Cori Bush's position it seems to be when it comes to the police and personal protection is that she is more important than everyone else. Her position doesn't seem to be just let them eat cake. It's, let them eat lead.

PAVLICH: Yes, absolutely. And you know, Officer Ella French willing to be make a difference in her community, she signed up for this dangerous job in one of the most dangerous cities in the entire world. And she woke up that day to go do her job and to try and help and she got a call that ended her life.

And there are dozens of other officers around the country who have suffered the same fate. And you have the mayor making statements and you have people like Cori Bush who have implemented this leftist ideology in cities across the country at the mayor -- the mayor level, at the prosecution level and criminals are in charge and it doesn't seem like they're doing anything to make sure that this doesn't keep happening.

And, you know, Cori Bush keeps arguing she wants more social workers to be involved. Well, call a social worker to deal with a dangerous situation where someone will respond to a traffic stop with lethal force. And there are police officers every day who get up to serve their communities to make a difference. They don't go home. They have families, too. And if you want to really understand how this all went down, listen to the police scanner because that will give you a whole different perspective on this entire debate.

CAIN: Dana?

PERINO: Well, she, I was just going to mention that to Cori Bush's point, if you follow her logic to the extent there is any, routine traffic stops should end. And why do you have routine traffic stops? Well, because there was a call and it says this could be a problem. It turns out actually the feds just arrested right before we came on air a straw gun purchaser.

So, somebody bought the gun for the guy, now that guy is in trouble as well. And her brother, the officer's brother said, he is an Iraq war veteran so this family was all about public service, and he's devastated he said like God took the wrong kid is what he said here. And I thought that the police superintendent there, he said no one is going to march or protest --

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: -- for her. And that's a shame. I don't know -- I'm not suggesting people protest and march in the street or riot. I'm not suggesting that but he makes a really good point on where we put our values.

CAIN: You know, Jessica, Mayor Lori Lightfoot wants to move this away from being a political issue, at least the defund the police political issue. She wants to actually focus it on a different political issue. Let's watch what she had to say and I'll get your response.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MAYOR LORI LIGHTFOOT (D), CHICAGO: The police are not our enemies. They're humans, just as we are, flawed just as we are. We have a common enemy. It's the guns and the gangs.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

CAIN (on camera): See, Jessica, this is a story about guns. It is a political issue. But not defund the police, gun control.

TARLOV: It's all the things. I wish that people -- it takes too long unfortunately, I mean, we have an hour show which is a huge privilege to be able to revisit topics and to get people's opinions on them. And unfortunately, that's not how the news works. And there's so many tragic angles to this. And yes, guns are part of the problem and someone who sold a gun to someone who had a felony charge beforehand and that person is going to be in trouble as well.

It's a problem that majority have guns. They get used in some of these, in these cities come from conservative states with looser laws and then they get buffed across the border and then they get used in Chicago.

But I do want to -- I don't want to be like oh silver lining in this because it's a tragedy to lose a life. I'm happy to hear more nuance to these discussions from people in positions of power who are moving away from just straight up, like this is about cops that gunned down unarmed people that we need to celebrate those in law enforcement who do risk their lives every day, and we also need to talk about the victims, the unarmed victims, but the police officers, in the way that they should be.

And that's something that Eric Adams who will go on to be the mayor of New York City has done really well where he name the officers who have been shot and gunned down themselves and victims as well.

CAIN: You know, Greg, not every story is a media criticism story. But to her point, to Jessica's point, in 2019, there were 14 unarmed black men killed by police. In that same year, 51 officers killed in the line of duty.

GUTFELD: Right.

CAIN: I don't think Americans understand that context. In fact, I know you don't. If you ask most people how many unarmed black men are killed every year, they get it wildly wrong regardless of political affiliation.

GUTFELD: Yes. Every time there were riots or demonstrations and arson, what predated it? It was a video of a tragic, ugly event involving either the death of an unarmed suspect. You could -- like the media, if they wanted to, they could spend two hours every day and look at each case that happens through the year, because there's not a lot.

There's like if you add the, if you add black and white in, I guess, other, or non-white, it's probably about two dozen, 30 maybe? And that was 2019 from Washington -- from the Washington Post data.

So, I would suggest that like, yes, people should get in other people's faces. It's time. It's like if you -- if the media -- if we had video of the death of this police officer and we played it as much --

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: -- as the George Floyd video, what would happen? We will never know because that will never happen. We will never treat the death of a police officer as importantly as we would in any other case. I understand it, because you could say well, one is an authority and one isn't and one is armed and one -- I get it.

But if you look at every single one of these cases, they are so nuanced, right?

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: And it's like, and you start saying, OK, now I see. This is like a really, really hard job. It's a hard job. We demonized an entire force which then led to this, obviously the defunding but also the Ferguson effect in the dramatic rise in crime.

Meanwhile, and I say this all the time, Lori Lightfoot is depending on what she's calling the national problem of gun violence. That's to paper over the fact that the national problem is crime. Right? Whenever they talk about crime, they go that's a local problem, but the guns are a national problem. No, no, no. They're both the same, OK? So, they're both a national problem.

CAIN: All right. Up next, so much for facts first. CNN's Brian Stelter giving the Cuomo brothers a pass.

GUTFELD: One step now.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH (on camera): CNN is trying to cover for embattled anchor Chris Cuomo while he and his creepy brother drown in scandal. Chris is facing a mounting criticism for refusing to cover the story but he is getting support from the liberal network's so-called critics.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, CHIEF MEDIA CORRESPONDENT, CNN: This has been a conundrum for CNN that have no perfect answer, no perfect solution. Some thinks made it worse by letting Chris interview his brother when COVID-19 was ravaging New York. But that was an unprecedented time period.

And so is this, a famous family in the news, a governor who soared to the highest heights last year now to the lowest lows, self-inflicted wounds, and a brother who just wants to do his job. Just wants to anchor his show.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PAVLICH (on camera): Greg, the famous family is having a hard time and, quote, "Chris Cuomo has a lot to say but he cannot say it."

GUTFELD: I'm having too much pleasure right now from everything he just said. He is the media reporter. Would he have -- would he had addressed the nuance of this topic if it had happened at Fox News?

PAVLICH: No.

GUTFELD: Or all of this -- suddenly he's discovered the complexity of life, and the complexity of reporting. Before it was just Trump supporters racist, that was so easy. And Fox News should be taken off the air. We didn't need any nuance then. But now I need nuance. My favorite part about it is that's so Stelter. He went to his sources, right? He went, I don't know, he went into the break room and he found out that Chris Cuomo just wants to do his job.

So, I'm beginning to wonder what is the anonymous source, who that was?

PAVLICH: Yes.

GUTFELD: Was that like the cafeteria lady or some Italian guy who is brother's governor. Just say I want to do my job. I love that he has -- I just love seeing the spotlight turned on them and watching their behavior change. It's refreshing to see them suddenly discover that life isn't as simple as they've been playing it.

They have -- they have assigned so much simplistic blame to law enforcement for ten years. Right?

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: that was -- there was no nuance about cops. If there was one cop that did something bad, it was the entire police department that was guilty of systemic racism. Right? That was -- there was no nuance there. There was no nuance anytime like a Trump supporter posted a meme. Clearly, that means all Trump supporters were racist. There was never any nuance. Now they've figured it out. Good job.

PAVLICH: So, Will, CNN is trying to make this sound like there's a conflict with Chris Cuomo coring his brother Andrew Cuomo.

CAIN: Convenient.

PAVLICH: But that's a very surface level analysis or defense of the situation. This is actually about Chris Cuomo writing statements and e- mails that then the governor's office actually sent out almost verbatim on behalf of the governor during the scandal. So there are layers to this that they're not wanting to get into.

CAIN: First, even on the journalistic ethical level that's a convenient position to take where you were perfectly fine covering him when he was being lauded and given Emmy awards.

GUTFELD: Right.

CAIN: But now that there's criticism, there could be some conflict of interest here. But you're absolutely right, Katie, it doesn't stop there because Chris Cuomo is not just covering the story, he is part of the story --

PAVLICH: Yes.

CAIN: -- helping to craft the message for Governor Cuomo. You know, I look at this really quickly and I think how does Governor Cuomo hold on. Right now, he's lost his political party, he's lost polling in the state of New York, he's lost every legislator just about in the state. And the only answer is the one that keeps Chris Cuomo in his job. And that is we are watching privilege play out.

Someone talked about privilege. This is fame, a political family. These are people born on third race that think they hit a triple and can't imagine now the world is actually going to hold them accountable for something. This is completely for both of the brothers a story of privilege.

PAVLICH: So, Dana, you're very good at predictions. Does the governor stay or does he go?

PERINO: Well first of all, I want to say that I actually understood that sports metaphor and I'm proud of myself. It was a very good one, a very good one.

Look, a couple things happened that we have to keep in mind. So, his chief of staff resigned today, so not only has he lost the people that Will just mentioned but when she who enabled a lot of this realizes that she better hop off of this train and try to save herself, if she can, because she's also going to be a witness in all of this, so she -- so she left.

The other thing I did not realize is that once impeachment starts in the state of New York, he has to step aside as governor, OK. It's not like when we saw the Congress impeach the president twice where he's like, still at the White House and it's over because we know it's going to even going to pass. It's no big deal. He actually has to leave.

So, I do think that because you saw his team float an idea today, a deal in which he basically would say to the state legislature, I promise not to run for a fourth term if you don't try to impeach me. To me that mean -- I think that he knows one, he's not running for a fourth term anyway. And two, he knows if he gets impeached, it's all over and he knows he's going to get impeached. So, I think that -- I don't know how he leaves, but he leaves.

PAVLICH: So, Jessica, there was another big resignation as well today, the leader of the Time's Up Movement, which is supposed to be about defending women from sexual harassment and sexual assault at work, Roberta Kaplan, she actually was helping Governor Cuomo go after the women who were accusing him of doing all these things and corroborated in this report that we saw come out.

So, there's that layer of a too as well as this times Time's Up Hollywood movement that was on the left that was supposed to be standing up for women, and the woman who was running the show was actually helping to smear the reputations the women coming forward.

TARLOV: Well, I think that this is really a continuation of the story that we've been seeing in the aftermath of, you know, the beginning of Time's Up where people realized, actually, these stories are incredibly textured and they're different in cases. Like, do you remember the beginning that suddenly like, Harvey Weinstein and Al Franken are the same person which is like, so unbelievably ludicrous.

And I'm sure that Al Franken is still sitting there going like, I cannot believe that I resigned, right, after what we have seen happened since there. So, I think it was right for her to resign. And I do -- as someone, well, the only member of the Liberal Party at the table, I can tell you that people who have the same politics of me have really shifted away from believing in organizations or supporting organizations to moving to case by case basis. This is what I think about this particular instance.

And Greg and I were talking about this before we came out here. When the Governor Cuomo scandals shifted from the nursing homes to Me Too, that's when I said this is not going to end well for him, because I think that people were a lot more comfortable and felt like there was more fodder to go after him on this where it seems -- I mean, these are very real accusations, and Tish James, it did not make her happy, I'm sure, to have to release that report. There were like 11-plus women.

So, they knew that this was something that all of society can get behind, right? This is something that we have come up with. And you're going to have President Biden who was forced to, and I'm sure he called Cuomo ahead of time and said, I said on Stephanopoulos, if the report is bad that you're going, and that was the standard you wanted us to hold you to.

And I've known you for decades, and I loved your dad, but this is the standard that we've set for the party.

PAVLICH: Well, the White House has denied that the President has called Andrew Cuomo directly.

TARLOV: Sorry, I do not have any --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: I bet the Prime Minister called.

PAVLICH: The prime -- yes, Ron Klain may have called. But the other thing on the nursing home issue is it wasn't just Andrew Cuomo, it was a number of Democratic governors who are also involved in the nursing home thing.

GUTFELD: But once again, nuance --

PAVLICH: So, it's easy to walk away from that.

GUTFELD: We now have nuance.

PERINO: The complexity.

GUTFELD: The complexity.

TARLOV: There was a Republican governor -- I love nuance.

GUTFELD: I know.

PAVLICH: We got to roll.

GUTFELD: But before we didn't have any nuance. Now, we have nuance.

PAVLICH: Lots of nuance. Up next, the runaway Texas Democrats now suing Governor Greg Abbott for, getting this, violating their constitutional rights.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: The runaway Texas Democrats who brought COVID to D.C. are now suing Governor Greg Abbott and other Republican leaders for trying to bring them back to the state. Almost two dozen of the Dems claimed they've been, "deprived of liberty" -- are they in jail? I don't know -- for substantial periods of time, suffered much anxiety and distress over the separation from their families -- we should interview their families -- and much discomfort and embarrassment.

Meanwhile, a judge issued an order that blocks the Democrats from being arrested so they'll be able to return home soon. All right, Dana. They're deprived of their freedoms. How is that possible? Are they in jail?

PERINO: This is the -- this is the Texas TikTok Democrats, like the worst political stunt in the history of political stunts. And it's now turned into the most ridiculous nuisance lawsuit ever to be filed.

GUTFELD: What is the -- what is their premise for the lawsuit? I hope that it involves racism.

PERINO: Well, of course, and other things. I'm just going to borrow from Byron York who did a thread on this on Twitter. So, if you want to go to his Twitter feed, you can see the whole thing. I'll just mention a couple of things. One of the things that they write is that their constitutional rights were violated on the basis of race, in that, and I'm quoting, certain plaintiffs are either Black or White, OK.

GUTFELD: That's all you need.

PERINO: They also claim -- they also claim that they've been violated on the basis of creed, OK, creed, and that plaintiffs have expressive faith or belief that every eligible citizen has a right to vote.

GUTFELD: Wow, that's almost so idiotic, I almost admire it.

PERINO: Well, you got -- in a way, they have nothing.

CAIN: But don't dismiss it.

PERINO: They got -- this the worst stunt. They got on a plane maskless, they drink a bunch of booze, they had so much fun. They put their dirty laundry up for everybody to see. They asked for care packages.

GUTFELD: Yes. And a couple of them had non-refundable tickets to Portugal. And their excuse for going to Portugal is that yes, we agree that democracy hangs in the balance. But we had non-refundable tickets.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: I mean, this is --

GUTFELD: You know what, it's the airline's fault. It's these non-refundable tickets. They're a scam. They force you to -- you buy them and then you can't refund them. Will, what were you going to say? You were going to say this is -- is this --

CAIN: No, don't dismiss them when they give away the game. So, they said their political opinion is essentially their creed. It is their faith, it is their religion, and therefore their political opinion is their protected class.

PERINO: Right.

CAIN: They're giving away the game as they speak here. It's truly rich. It's a wonderful, rich argument. Yes, I shot that cop and I ran. But you chasing me has now violated my civil rights. And I feel like my constitutional rights have been violated. I broke the law. I'll give it to you. I broke the law, but you shouldn't be pursuing me. That's their argument.

GUTFELD: By the way, that's not that far off since we're no longer really pursuing people because we don't want to cause any problems. And that's probably racist too. Jessica, shouldn't they just go home? Can't they read the room that is the United States. We all have problems right now with life and COVID and stuff. And they're just like -- they're kind of like, they're a circus rather than -- we can't -- we can't take them seriously.

TARLOV: Well, it's also at this point a bankrupted circus because there was a ton of attention the first week, right? They had meetings. It's like Barnum and Bailey's, I think, is that business, right? So, they love Cirque du Soleil. Barnum and Bailey's was fun too. But that's like, where we are at this point where there's not an appetite for it because life has gone on and very serious things have happened.

Like, people are dying COVID, a police officer was shot and killed. Like, we're trying to get kids back to school. All of these things. And they should go back from the get go. I felt like a this is going to backfire, and B, stand your ground on the floor, filibuster, and give one of those crazy Wendy Davis like 24-hour long speeches about voting rights and you will get coverage for that which is the core issue --

CAIN: If you wear pink shoes.

PAVLICH: Yes, pink running shoe.

TARLOV: I wear pink -- pink shoes are great.

GUTFELD: I forgot about her. What was her name?

TARLOV: Wendy Davis.

CAIN: Texas political stunt. Remember her pink shoes?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: That's a distraction for what we are talking about. Pink shoes are great.

CAIN: It's the reason we're talking about her.

TARLOV: There was a lot that you could do to make your political point without getting lost in the tail winds of thits.

GUTFELD: They -- like, it's the best, Katie. Isn't this -- this is almost as funny as watching the Cuomo brothers implode.

PAVLICH: It's -- yes. Will, I have a quick question. What is the beer in Texas? What's the --

CAIN: Shiner?

PAVLICH: OK, so you're allowed to maybe drink Shiner on the floor in the Texas House, but you're not allowed to drink Miller Lite, apparently, because that's why they all left to try to come to D.C. when they get in this private plane. The funniest part about this is that they all portrayed themselves as fighters and martyrs.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: They've had a really tough time. They cause a crisis for the Biden administration. They cause multiple days of distractions at the White House press briefing from the President and the Press Secretary trying to answer questions about what they were doing there. They may -- you know, they meet with the Vice President, testifies for COVID. The whole thing is a disaster. And then they fled to Europe. So --

GUTFELD: It's a beautiful story.

PAVLICH: You know, not the fighters the Texans representing them and they should have brought shiner to really represent.

CAIN: Or Lone Star, nothing snooty.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right, the "FASTEST SEVEN" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TARLOV: Welcome back. It's time for "THE FASTEST." First up. Have you ever dreamed about living on Mars but dreaded the nine month commute? Well, NASA has the solution for you. The Space Agency is looking for volunteers to live in isolation in a 1700 foot fake Martian habitat for a year here on Earth. Isn't that exciting?

CAIN: It's what everybody's been doing for 18 months. Well, I just realize -- you're an isolation? Well, done. Experiment over. We've been to Mars.

GUTFELD: There you go. We just saved billions of dollars.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: Perhaps trillion.

TARLOV: Should we go to the next topic? Greg.

GUTFELD: No, no. OK, what I find interesting about this is this is a simulation of Mars. So, what does that tell you? That what we're doing right now is obviously started as a simulation to see if we could live on Earth. Yes.

So, what we are now talking about a simulation within a simulation. We are sitting here right now, we are part of a test to see if we can actually live on the other Earth. We just don't know that. I know. And I'm not even high.

TARLOV: Thank you for that disclaimer.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: But Mars is nothing like Earth at all.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: It's very different.

GUTFELD: How are they going to do it?

PAVLICH: There's no water really. There's some water but it's all frozen, right?

PERINO: Well, it's also -- it's like, if you have to stay inside the whole time, and when you go to Mars, you have to stay inside the whole time.

PAVLICH: What's the point?

PERINO: I'm a hard pass on that.

CAIN: Yes, it's like (INAUDIBLE)

TARLOV: But it's like the window looking.

PERINO: Yes.

TARLOV: It's a -- it's a cool thing to (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: It's a great view.

PAVLICH: There's a lot of places in northern Arizona and southern Utah that looks a lot like Mars.

PERINO: Right.

PAVLICH: That's how they tested a lot of these rovers.

PERINO: It's true.

PAVLICH: So, if you want to try a quicker trip, you can go there.

GUTFELD: It would definitely be a red state though, right?

CAIN: Definitely.

GUTFELD: Mars?

CAIN: Definitely.

TARLOV: That's funny, right, the color?

GUTFELD: I don't know what it is anyway.

TARLOV: Yes. They say that like, we're getting to that thing. Next up, a woman is reportedly suing McDonald's because their burgers are too tempting. She claims to have broken lent because McDonald's ad she saw was too enticing and convinced her to get a cheeseburger. Do ads like this works?

PAVLICH: She has got to take this up with the Lord, the good Lord. You know, I don't think that that's going to be the excuse for breaking lent. But it's all about will, right, and -- .

TARLOV: That's what I hear.

PAVLICH: -- sacrifice, so --

CAIN: Not me. It's free will

GUTFELD: Yes. Go to Will. It's all about Will.

TARLOV: Yes, it's your fault.

CAIN: I wonder if the director knew that when you cut to me, director. Those advertises that we're just playing, by the way, not too appetizing. Those certainly weren't the ones that enticed her to break lent. Yes, I'm with you, Katie.

TARLOV: Are there any ones that get you? Because --

CAIN: We're just talking about this. Greg has never seen an ad for food that sucked you in.

GUTFELD: No, not at all. It's ironic she broke lent and then she broke wind. Anyway, this is Russia, by the way.

TARLOV: Yes.

GUTFELD: This is Russia. So, I was thinking this had to be a Texas Democrat for the lawsuit, but it's in Russia. Do you know in Russia how much they love McDonald's is beyond belief. They will wait for hours.

TARLOV: I went to the first McDonald's that ever got to Russia in Moscow and it's -- I mean they did it right.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: It's not gold, but it's --

PERINO: How was the indoor playground?

TARLOV: I can't fit in.

GUTFELD: It's called the GULAG. It has all the balls but you're in prison.

PERINO: You can never leave.

TARLOV: Dana, are there any food commercials that get you?

PERINO: Well, here's -- food commercials, I typically don't like picture food. Like, when you go on vacation and then you see --

GUTFELD: Like, the menu.

PERINO: -- on the menu and then like, there's pictures of it. I hate picture food. That's not usually my thing. But yes, I guess so. Like, some steak houses will get me, you know, like Outback Steakhouse. They got some good ads.

TARLOV: The (INAUDIBLE)

PERINO: Here's what I would say. This person's lawsuit, whoever made the ads, they need to put this on the top of their LinkedIn page.

CAIN: Yes.

PERINO: I mean, you made a great ad. And that's what -- I would just live on that for the rest of my life.

PAVLICH: Good advice.

CAIN: Did you see the damage she was asking though?

PERINO: No. How much is it?

CAIN: $14.00.

GUTFELD: Yes, which is like 70 million rubles.

CAIN: She just got -- she just got the reason for the lawsuit.

TARLOV: And if it were here, it would be like $1 billion because of how litigious we are.

PAVLICH: And they probably would have paid it.

TARLOV: CAIN: Hot coffee.

PAVLICH: They probably would have paid it then.

GUTFELD: Always goes back to McDonald's, the hot coffee. That was the first one.

CAIN: That's right.

PAVLICH: But that was real though.

GUTFELD: Yes, that was real.

TARLOV: OK. Do we have time for -- oh, we do not have any more time. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time now for your favorite segment, "ONE MORE THING." I'm going to start off. I want to congratulate my friend Chris Blair on the opening of the second location in Tennessee of the Listening Room. This is a great place where you can go and hear singer, songwriters talk about the song -- the stories behind how the country music you love got born.

CAIN: Awesome.

PERINO: Really.

CAIN: Nashville?

PERINO: There's one in Nashville, which I love. But this one, this new one is in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee.

CAIN: Yes.

PERINO: And it opened this weekend. And if you love country music, you should really make a plan to go and visit. I heard it was great. Greg.

GUTFELD: All right, let's do this. I was trying to think of something cruel to say and I'm glad I decided -- chose not to.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I caught myself. You know, my life is 90 percent trying to reach a scratch, you know. I swear to God, I have a -- I have a scratch right now and I can't get to it because of my short stupid arms. God gave me an itchy back and short arms. This is why you need one of these things. Check out this fellow.

This turtle knew what to do or whoever -- he's got -- like, he built this - - he got this little contraption and he scratches the underside and the top.

PERINO: It's like a car wash.

GUTFELD: Yes, it's like a carwash for somebody who's got dry skin. But I don't why it's not a shell. I don't know how that helps the shell. Maybe he can feel it through the shell.

PAVLICH: Isn't that a boot cleaner?

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't know. But I think he's flirting with us shaking that ass.

PERINO: He's kind of quick at it too for a turtle. All right, Jessica, what do you have?

TARLOV: Nothing turtles crashing or A-S-S related. Finally, Olympic basketball was on at a normal TV time. And I was glued to both the USA men's and women's gold medal games this weekend, and they did not disappoint. Both won gold with Kevin Durant leading the men to close win over France and earning his third gold medal. He's now the most decorated basketball Olympian alongside Carmelo Anthony.

And veterans Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi pulled out all the stops to earn their fifth gold medals. Bird said this was her last Olympics while Taurasi added, see you in Paris where the 22 -- 2024 games are. Congratulations to both teams.

And something cool. Khris Middleton and Drew Holiday are now the first teammates to win both the NBA Finals and Olympic gold in the same year since Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen.

CAIN: Look at you. Bid NBA fan?

TARLOV: I saw you on the list and I was like, I got to show Will Cain that I came play.

CAIN: I'm super impressed.

PAVLICH: Yes, bring the sports.

PERINO: You really -- you brought your "ONE MORE THING" game today. Katie.

PAVLICH: Impressive. All right, so I know that I told you guys I think two weeks ago that I sucked at fishing and I never catch anything. Well, this guy is the opposite of me and he is from Missouri. And he set a new state record with his massive fish and also qualify for a new world record.

It's a carp and he didn't reel this thing in on a typical rod and reel. He was bow fishing when he shot the 125 pound, five ounce carp. He thought he was shooting a 30 pound grass carp. When they -- but when they tried to pull out the water, they realized it was huge -- he called it a "straight up monster." So, congratulations for setting the state's record.

PERINO: What do you think, Will?

CAIN: I think he's impressive.

GUTFELD: See what they did with the (INAUDIBLE)? A little word play there.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: I love it.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.

PERINO: Very -- we have very clever producers, excellent producers. I love our producers. Will, you next.

CAIN: But I would have been more impressed if he noodled that fish.

PAVLICH: Yes, that would have been impossible.

GUTFELD: What's a noodle?

CAIN: That's when you stick your arm -- catfish bury themselves in dams. They get very large. And you stick your arm into their burrow, into the hole. They bite your arm, you grab their insides, you pull them out, and you wrestle them out.

PAVLICH: That's a lot.

TARLOV: And it doesn't hurt.

CAIN: Well, that's kind of an anti-climactic end of the story, but you got to first wrestle him.

PERINO: You do eat it?

CAIN: I mean, I imagine they eat them.

PERINO: That's not -- that's not like, catch and release, simply catfish.

CAIN: No. Yes, I love catfish. It's great. By the way, speaking of catch and release, look at this segue right here. This guy was wandering around a Ralph's grocery store in Los Angeles.

PAVLICH: Oh, wow.

PERINO: Oh, my.

CAIN: That video was captured by actress Tisha Campbell. So, everybody in the store was pretty laid back about this. In fact, I think many people tried to pet him.

PERINO: Oh, no. You can't pet him.

GUTFELD: What do you think he was looking for, you know?

CAIN: That's good -- honey?

PERINO: Fish.

GUTFELD: Hair removal?

PAVLICH: He heard you could steal things now so he went in to try and give it a shot.

PERINO: Do we have that video of the LA -- the he Los Angeles lady or whatever, the little girl, maybe. Or anyway, we can just keep looking at the bear. I mean, I like --

CAIN: You going to a different show?

PERINO: No, I have 30 -- we never have 30 seconds left.

PAVLICH: He looks very hungry.

GUTFELD: Yes. That's what you only got four seconds of that because somebody was eaten.

CAIN: I would advise petting a bear. He's a baby so you're probably going to pull it off.

PAVLICH: Oh no. There's a mama somewhere.

PERINO: What do you think -- what do you think his mom said when he -- like, you haven't hanging around with those people. That's it for us.

TARLOV: I wish we had 10 seconds in the A block when they're cutting you off.

PERINO: "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next. Hey, Bret.

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