This is a rush transcript of "The Five" on August 19, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Hello, everyone, I'm Greg Gutfeld along with

Dagen McDowell, Geraldo Rivera, Jesse Watters and a grape is her yoga ball,

Dana Perino. It is 5:00 p.m. in the New York City. This is THE FIVE.

First he was in denial, now President Biden is apparently delusional about

the disaster in Afghanistan. While the Taliban has taken over the country

President Biden seems confused by mixing updates in claiming no one has

been killed.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS, ABC NEWS HOST: Still a lot of pandemonium outside

the airport.

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: Oh, there is, but

look, but no one's being killed right now. God forgive me for it if I'm

wrong about that, but no one's being killed right now. People are -- we got

a thousands, somewhere 1,200 out yesterday, a couple thousand a day, and

it's increasing. We're going to get those people out.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But we've all seen the pictures. We've seen those hundreds

of people packed into a C-17. We've seen Afghans falling --

BIDEN: That was four days ago, five days ago.

STEPHANOPOULOS: What did you think when you first saw those pictures?

BIDEN: What I thought was we have to gain control of this. We have to move

this more quickly. We have to move in a way in which we can take control of

that airport. And we did.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Here's the reality on the ground. Twelve people have reportedly

died so far. New video shows people running for their lives after the

Taliban opened fire. There's panic and chaos outside the country's single

evacuation point at the Kabul airport. And mothers are hanging their

children -- handing their children over the wall to soldiers to get them

out. But President Biden says what is happening was inevitable.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

STEPHANOPOULOS: It sounds like you think we should have gotten out a long

time ago.

BIDEN: We should have.

STEPHANOPOULOS: And accept the idea that it was going to be messy no

matter what.

BIDEN: Well, why though -- what would be messy?

STEPHANOPOULOS: The --

BIDEN: If we had gotten out a long time ago -- getting out would be messy

no matter when it occurred.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Well, Dana, that was a -- there's so many contradictions in

differences between old Joe and new Joe and his general saying they didn't

see it coming, but he said it was going to happen no matter what. It's just

like -- it's not -- it's no longer a question of whether we should leave or

stay. The question is how awful was this? Planned or not planned.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: I was thinking today about, you know, in the

70s, the talk about malaise.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Right? And do you remember Krauthammer, Charles Krauthammer. The

late Charles Krauthammer wrote a piece a few years before he died called,

"Decline as a Choice." And I was thinking a little bit about that today

because when this morning I watched the interview live at 7:00 a.m. and

when President Biden said, well, nobody's dying, you know. Well, correct me

if I'm wrong, and knock wood -- he's knocking wood.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: I was like, Americans don't knock wood.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: We knock heads.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

PERINO: And I don't understand the point of sending 8,000 more troops in

there to help get people out if we can't get people out.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: If we can't get people to the airport. You have reports that

French and British Special Forces are -- they're not waiting.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: They're going in to try to find their people. He does seem

disconnected. I don't want the military to get demoralized. We need them to

be strong, but it sounds -- it seems to me that what I saw today at the

Pentagon is that they want to do more but the commander-in-chief is not

authorizing it.

GUTFELD: Right. You know, there was a, Dagen, there was a poll done by

Mission Roll Call. It's a veteran's advocacy group of 1.2 million vets, and

they found that 71 percent found that this recent mess has caused them

personal sadness because of all the work they put in and seeing it end

this.

DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: But they have to know that every

American sees the disaster created by Joe Biden and that every American is

deeply grateful for what -- for the most part has been a counter-terrorism

operation in Afghanistan to deny a haven to Al-Qaeda. And that was the --

it wasn't nation-building that was the reason we were there.

And we are deeply grateful for that and we know firsthand like I've been

contacting friends of mine who served, and just trying to reach out to them

which is what we all do because we have empathy and we have hearts and we

have souls and we believe in prayer.

That being said, you mentioned new Joe versus old Joe. I think that there's

just one Joe. When he speaks it's a debacle. When he doesn't speak it's a

debacle. He's plumbing new depths of moronery (ph) in a career, what a 50-

year career in government highlighted by the fact that he opposed the raid

to kill Osama Bin Laden.

Andy McCarthy once said, mediocrity would have been something to strive for

in Joe Biden's prime. One more thing in terms of finances. I heard Geraldo

speaking earlier about the opium.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCDOWELL: The Taliban controls the largest opium operation in the world.

Well, we're also giving up treasure and power to China because China is

quickly moving into Afghanistan. Afghanistan has one of the largest

reserves of rare earth metals.

GUTFELD: Right.

MCDOWELL: Which we need for electric cars and solar panels and wind

turbines. China already controls 80 percent of the production of rare earth

metals. They're going in delighted to offer mining assistance to the

Taliban. They're just beginning to develop this relationship, but again,

that hands money to the Taliban potentially trillions of dollars in the

long run and it hands more power to China. So it's a lose-lose for the

United States again.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Jesse, we're talking about how I don't want us to

become like how CNN was with Trump where every day it was the -- the walls

are closing in, you know, tick, tick, tick boom. Something bad is going to

-- they were -- became obsessed, but it's like -- so you try to -- you try

to measure the criticism of Biden, but it's hard at this point.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Because here's the truth, the president has

stranded thousands of Americans in a war zone and the only way for them to

get out is an airport that's surrounded by an enemy. An enemy that's

committing atrocities every single day on camera for the world to see.

And I don't think the president understands that this is going to dominate

the news cycle until every single American is evacuated safely. And sadly,

he's created a kill zone. In the military they say that's where every

single person that wants to leave has to funnel through the same route

that's controlled by who? The enemy.

So they're going to block them. They're going to kidnap them. They're going

to shake them down or they might kill them. So now we have an Afghan

hostage crisis where Americans are going to have to pay bribes to the

Taliban to get out. The U.S. government might be paying them. Cash is king.

Private entities could be paying them. We don't know, but we're going to

have to be paying terrorists to evacuate Americans.

Now, I know we want to get Afghans out too, but I want to get Americans

out. That should be a priority. And right now, I think only 300 Americans

left.

PERINO: Today.

WATTERS: Three-hundred. Thousands of Afghans have got -- only 300 today.

And we don't know how many Americans are there. They say 10,000, 15,000. We

don't know and we don't have the capability to go out and extract them. And

all Joe Biden needs to say to make everyone feel confident is that the

United States is going to do everything within our power no matter how long

it takes to get all of our people home safely.

Do you think this would ever happen with Donald Trump? Donald Trump would

never leave people behind in a hostile country like this. He was renowned

for bringing back hostages. That was one of the best accomplishments in

four years.

So, "The New York Times" is reporting that Joe Biden was briefed throughout

the summer that there were mass desertions going on within the Afghan army,

collapse was rapidly occurring, and the Taliban takeover may have been

imminent. Now, he didn't do anything about that. Didn't change his plan.

Went out and lied to the American people and said everything's going to be

just fine.

I don't foresee it happening. So, the question is, did the commander-in-

chief lie to the American people, strand thousands of Americans behind

enemy lines, abandoned billions of dollars of lethal military equipment

just to get a political photo op to pull out on 9/11? So Republicans, when

they take the House back, they're going to have to decide is this high

crime or misdemeanor.

GUTFELD: What do you think, Geraldo?

GERALDO RIVERA, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, it's -- I hardly know where to

begin. I will say in terms of the evacuation fiasco, it shows that there

was no pre-playing. The fact that we've had to surge all these thousands of

G.I.'s to the airport to the Kabul airport, you know, why were -- why did

we take them out to now bring them back? It just shows an absolute utter

failure in terms of planning.

I don't think that Biden is lying. I just think that there is a degree of

incompetence --

WATTERS: We don't know that.

RIVERA: -- that is being exposed here. I don't --

WATTERS: We don't know if he's --

RIVERA: I don't -- I don't think he's evil. Let me just say this --

WATTERS: That's not what I said. He could be a liar and not be evil.

RIVERA: I don't -- I don't -- I don't know how you do that, but I guess --

WATTERS: You're a politician.

RIVERA: Yes, I guess so. There's an image today and Greg you alluded to it

at the top of the show and I spoke about it with Martha MacCallum earlier,

where the mom hands the infant to the G.I. who takes and grazes the child

over the (inaudible) of the barbed wire. You know, your heart breaks

because number one, it shows the absolute dysfunction of the evacuation.

Here's a mom, when did you last see those images of moms handing babies to

benign force so the baby doesn't get harmed? I hate to bring up the

illusions, but it is unbelievably heart-wrenching to watch, but it also

says another thing about America.

Yes, we screwed up the plan, there was no evacuation plan. It was total

dysfunction, but once that child was in that G.I.'s hand, you knew, we knew

that that child was safe. That's America. We're going to get this -- we're

going to get through this. We're going to get these people out. We're going

to get our people out first as we should and we get the people that are

like dear friends of ours who put their heart and soul on the line for

America. We're going to get them out. It's screwed up. It was bad, but

eventually the child will be in the arms of the G.I.

GUTFELD: All right. Well, I hope so. Coming up, Biden can't get his story

straight on what went wrong in Afghanistan. His latest excuse, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: President Biden says the buck stops with him, but the guy just

can't stop blaming others for his own mistakes. The defensive president

keeps passing the blame for the complete Taliban takeover of Afghanistan.

Biden trying to throw the intelligence community under the bus.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: There was no consensus. You go back and look at the intelligence

reports. They said that it was like more likely to be sometime by the end

of the year.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Your top military advisors warned against what's drawing

on this timeline. They wanted you to keep about 2,500 troops.

BIDEN: No, they didn't. It was split. That wasn't true. That wasn't true.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So no one -- no one told -- your military advisor did not

tell you no, we should just keep 2,500 troops. It's been a stable situation

for the last several years. We can do that. We can continue to do that.

BIDEN: No. No one said that to me that I can recall.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: So, that's three different answers he's given, right, Dana? He

said it in the question and answer session last month, no. Then he said it

was split, and then again he said no. Which one is it?

PERINO: But then what did -- what did he add at the end of the last one,

which is not that I recall.

WATTERS: Not that I recall.

PERINO: And that is a way to -- well, I mean, that could be the case. I'm

sure he gets a lot of briefings, but we know that back in April in the

White House briefing room, they said that the military suggested this and

we knew this because it was on the front page of every paper.

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: I mean if you read any of the news, it was there. We covered it at

the time as we're following the story. And it -- certainly, it's a fact

that intelligence reports are a judgment call. This is our best assessment.

This is what we have right now. But the reason that a commander-in-chief is

there is because you get to make the decision. You have to make the

decision. That is a decision-making job.

So the decision does rest with him and I think that when you have tension

between an intelligence community and a president that's never good for

anybody.

WATTERS: And President Trump, former President Trump, he came out and had

a statement that said basically you get the equipment out then you get the

interpreters out then you get the people out and the last people to come

out are the military. Biden did it in reverse.

MCDOWELL: Right. It seems like when Biden talks about this, he at least

believes he's being truthful. He's wanted the troops out. He was focused on

the troop level because that was going to be the political win.

WATTERS: Right.

MCDOWELL: If we get -- he got him down to a few hundred, right? And so he

was going to take him down. Originally the date was 9/11. That was just,

well, appalling so they moved it up to late August. But he was most focused

so you take the troops out which is -- and I talked to somebody about this

today. Common sense says you get the civilians out including the Afghan

allies then the diplomats and the last people to leave are your military,

the people on the ground.

And in terms of the intelligence, couldn't Joe Biden use a like a laptop

from Hunter to pop up now or you know crack sex tape to show up, but see,

the intel community's turned against him so I guess that won't just appear

out of nowhere.

WATTERS: So, Geraldo, they're going to have hearings on this they're

saying in September and they're going to have people testifying from the

intelligence community, you know, what did you know? When did you know it?

What did you tell the president? They're going to subpoena documents. How's

that going to shake out?

RIVERA: Well, you know, Dana knows government much better than I.

PERINO: That's not necessary.

RIVERA: No, I believe that. I really respect you because you have a depth

of knowledge that -- I have a kind of a superficial knowledge, but --

GUTFELD: Wait a second. Did Geraldo just say somebody does something

better than him?

PERINO: I don't know.

RIVERA: I've got -- I've got --

PERINO: I think there's a but coming. I think there's a but coming.

RIVERA: I got a million -- I got a million yards.

GUTFELD: We got -- we're going to have to shut down this show. This is too

weird. This is bigger. This is bigger than Watergate.

RIVERA: I think that the intelligence community is full of crap. I think

they're totally self-inflated. I think they're the most important people in

Washington. They go around strutting around, oh, I know, I got this and

anytime I see them overseas, they don't know -- they are cocktail people.

They are chartered jet people. They're not the -- they're not the grumpy

people that got Osama Bin Laden in the movies.

I just think that this -- those people who are advising, and they -- and

they -- they're -- you know, what they do best? Leak. They are great

leakers.

WATTERS: So the (inaudible) Anderson (ph).

RIVERA: They're great leakers. (Inaudible).

WATTERS: Okay.

RIVERA: But I have to just give you one factoid right now. The banks in

Afghanistan are empty. There's not a dime left. They robbed everything. The

United States has cut off all credit to Afghanistan. Nobody's picking up

the garbage. The lights are going to go out soon that are still -- that are

still burning. The water is not going to be working in a little bit. Those

cell phones that they all treasure, the cell towers are going to go down.

The reason the Taliban is playing ball right now is they know they have not

a chance in Shinola to get that fixed without a whole lot of help. And if

they don't play ball and let these people out, you know, I'm not saying

anything -- I'm not trying to justify the mistakes that were made by us.

But I believe that this situation, while not redeemable, we're not going to

ever go back to Afghanistan. We do have some leverage right now to have a

humane evacuation, but I think America has to come to grips with the fact

that we're going to have tens of thousands of Afghans coming to America.

Get over it. We're going to absorb. We're going to --

WATTERS: We're basically paying all these people to come out, that's

what's happening.

RIVERA: Well --

WATTERS: And then when -- and then when it's done --

PERINO: (Inaudible).

WATTERS: -- China and Pakistan are going to swoop in with the cash. Greg?

GUTFELD: Anytime you decide you're going to leave, that's sending a

signal, no matter what. So, I find that the worst thing that Biden is doing

is blaming the Afghan army and saying that they didn't fight as hard

because if you know that the exit's coming and everybody apparently knew

this was coming, they also knew that the Taliban was going to become the

new boss. So, why tangle with the new landlord?

If you know that you're not going to get air power and you know the United

States is leaving, it seems that the fast transition that the Afghan army

was allowing was just them looking out for their self-interest. It's like

what -- like why fight, why go down with the ship, right?

If the ship -- why don't I just, you know, I don't want them to kill my

family so we'll just let them in. They made deals. I think in terms of

accountability, they have -- we have to go further back. There were -- I

mean, again, I always say it's on my head. I take responsibility for

ignoring certain things.

And, you know, I ignored claims of well-documented stories about fraud and

misuse of funds because it wasn't, like it was Afghanistan. It was so

confusing and blah, blah, blah or it was maybe it was just part of anti-war

assumptions that I thought were silly, but they ended up being right.

You're talking like $600 billion lost in grifting and corruption out of a

war that cost over a trillion.

That needs to be looked at. Where did this money go? Who wanted this war to

keep going to make money I think is a really good thing. And lastly, just a

recommendation for a movie, one of the best war movies is an Afghanistan

movie called "The Beast." I don't know if anybody have seen it, but it's

probably around --

RIVERA: How about the "Kite Runner?"

GUTFELD: I never saw that.

RIVERA: Well, I don't know if it's a movie. The book, yes. I know.

PERINO: Good book.

WATTERS: The book's better than the movie, Geraldo. Right, Dana?

PERINO: I was actually just going to say that.

WATTERS: That's right. Dana and I know. Ahead, President Biden ramping up

his war on Republican governors who defy masked mandates and Ron DeSantis

is hitting back hard.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

RIVERA: Another major clash over mask mandates in schools. President Biden

scolding Republican governors and directing his Department of Education to

sue them for blocking mask restrictions. But Florida Governor Ron DeSantis

is hitting back saying the president has other problems to worry about.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BIDEN: Have you seen throughout this pandemic some politicians are trying

to turn public safety measures that is children wearing masks in school

into political disputes for their own political gain. If you aren't going

to fight COVID-19, at least get out of the way.

RON DESANTIS, GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA: Joe Biden thinks the federal government

should come in and overrule the parents and force these young kids to wear

these masks. And you got to wonder, where are your priorities? You're

letting Afghanistan burn, our border burn and so many other things in our

country fall to pieces.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

RIVERA: I like that guy, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: But that is gaslighting. He is trying to change the subject. The

subject is Florida leads the nation in the most new cases per capita.

Florida leads the nation in the most hospitalizations per capita, and he's

talking about Biden and Afghanistan. Why isn't he dealing with -- yes, he's

running for president, I get that but.

GUTFELD: Yes. I always -- I'm super skeptical when we only deal with a

single variable like cases. I want to know what the severity is. I want to

know are these people that aren't vaccinated are vaccinated? Are they

elderly? Do they have other issues? That -- and are the cases asymptomatic?

A lot of them are.

RIVERA: Are you arguing that COVID is not a problem in Florida and that --

GUTFELD: No. No.

RIVERA: Well, that my point is he should --

GUTFELD: I'm not going to -- I'm not getting into this --

RIVERA: He's being criticized by Biden about COVID. Mask mandates

GUTFELD: Well, Biden is doing -- Biden is doing this because he's in

trouble. This is the only way he's going to maintain any relevance. He's

mortally wounded by Afghanistan. So this debate is only here for artificial

reasons.

I think we live in a time now where we hold more contempt for our political

adversaries than actual terrorists. It's why you keep hearing people from

Michael Moore to Stephen Colbert comparing Republicans and Trump voters to

the Taliban.

Now, if I were -- if I were like them and god knows I'm not, I would point

to the Democrats and say, it's interesting how maniacal they are about

having people cover up. I mean, perhaps the mask is their burka, don't you

think. I mean, the fact is, you know, they're so hot on mask mandates. They

seem to have that same authoritarian inclination that the Taliban has, you

know, for people to do what they say. But I would never say that --

PERINO: No, you would never.

GUTFELD: Because I'm not -- I'm not a hack. I will point out however that

in Martha's Vineyard, the hospitals are seeing its largest number of COVID

and non-COVID-related patients since the pandemic began. And a hack would

probably point out that there was this massive big bash at Martha's

Vineyard who by someone whose name might rhyme with --

RIVERA: I thought you were going to behave --

GUTFELD: -- Sharack Slobama, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to

say that the rise of COVID at Martha's Vineyard were a bunch of pro-Trump

fishermen that just showed up there on the island.

RIVERA: Probably so.

GUTFELD: Yes.

RIVERA: So, Dana, would you -- how would you advise Governor DeSantis?

PERINO: Well, the thing is that he's counterpunching, right? So, he didn't

pick the fight with Biden. He is governing. So, he is the elected governor

of Florida. He's saying, here's what I'm saying to schools. He's not saying

you are not allowed to wear a mask at school. He's saying that there should

be choice and I believe in like local control. I think that's good.

But you mentioned that -- you think that DeSantis is gaslighting by

changing the subject. That's exactly what President Biden did yesterday --

RIVERA: He did.

PERINO: When he came out and gave a whole speech about booster shots, which

are fine. I mean, that's fine. But it was obviously not the issue of the

day. And that is something that the Secretary of Health and Human Services

or the vice president could have done for him.

GUTFELD: Also, I'm tired of people using the word gaslighting incorrectly.

Just because people are having a debate --

RIVERA: I used it exactly correct.

GUTFELD: Gaslighting is you -- something really bad is happening to you.

And I'm telling you, it's not happening.

RIVERA: You get caught cheating, and you say why didn't you do the dishes?

That's gaslighting.

GUTFELD: Yes, perhaps. I've never done that.

WATTERS: The dishes?

RIVERA: It's a fact of life that Florida is suffering and DeSantis, you

know, for all his swashbuckling, the proof is in the pudding.

WATTERS: DeSantis is saying, as Republicans say that it's up to the parents

to decide what's best for the kids. The Democrats are saying, I want the

government to force what we think is best for all of the kids. And that's a

great difference between the left and the right. DeSantis, as Dana said,

he's not saying you're not allowed to wear a mask if you're a child, he

just says you have the option.

What's wrong with options? What's wrong with choice, Geraldo? That's the

issue. And Biden thinks he's right on the polling, but he's wrong on the

facts. There's a new study. 25,000 school-aged children, listen to these

physical, psychological behavioral problems that have come from mask-

wearing in schools. Increased headaches, difficulty concentrating -- I had

that normally -- drowsiness or fatigue, malaise, sleep issues, shortness of

breath, dizziness. Do you want children dizzy and passing out, Geraldo?

GUTFELD: He's gaslighting it.

WATTERS: No, you don't. And if there really was --

RIVERA: I feel -- I feel dizzy listening to that.

WATTERS: Yes, right, because the facts make you dizzy, Geraldo. And there

hasn't been a school that's been a super spreader.

RIVERA: You know --

WATTERS: That's is just not true. If there was, it'd be all over the news.

PERINO: Yes.

RIVERA: Dagen, despite everyone not answering my question --

WATTERS: I thought I did.

RIVERA: The fact of the matter is the federal courts will back the federal

government on this issue. They already have. They started with Indiana

University. It's going to spread throughout the country.

MCDOWELL: That's on vaccine mandate.

RIVERA: I was carted at the hotel yesterday.

MCDOWELL: For what?

RIVERA: For --

MCDOWELL: Your AARP card?

RIVERA: Yes, both.

MCDOWELL: That the Indiana case is a vaccine mandate. This is about

providing parents with the choice of whether their kid, their tyke is going

to wear a mask. And there is zero science to back up the effectiveness of

mask-wearing among young children in. In fact, the World Health

Organization says between ages five and 11 --

RIVERA: I am not --

MCDOWELL: Listen, I'm answering this. Between five and 11, you have to take

into account the psychological issues of the child and the learning issues

of the child before you put a mask on that kid for a long period of time.

And if Joe Biden gave truly a flying damn about the lives of people in

Texas, red state, Florida is a swing state, maybe he ought to get in front

of the American people and say, if you have COVID, the first thing you need

to do is ask your doctor about an antibody infusion.

But he's not going to do that because didn't Governor Abbott have one? Oh,

that crosses the line. You need to communicate with people if you're sick.

This is what you do. Oh, and by the way, why hasn't the federal government

bought any of the new antibody drug that was approved by the FDA? It's Vir

Biotech and GlaxoSmithKline. They haven't even bought any of that.

That's actually how you fight the pandemic if you get COVID. And it's up to

the commander in chief of the nation to tell Floridians and Texans and

everybody who lives in every state who might get COVID. But he didn't do

that because he's making this a political issue because he's gasping for

air.

RIVERA: I don't disagree with anything my colleagues have just told you,

ladies and gentlemen. I really report to you that the federal government

will be empowered by federal courts to deny Medicaid and Medicare

reimbursements to nursing homes, 15,000 or more of them, because the

federal government has that power. So, regardless of everything you've

heard about mask good or bad or everything --

GUTFELD: Geraldo, Geraldo, you know what President Biden should do?

Executive order declaring Halloween is every day.

RIVERA: Or it's my birthday.

GUTFELD: That's just so important.

RIVERA: A red wave panic. Panic among Democrats as President Biden's

approval ratings drop below 50 percent for the first time.

GUTFELD: This is stupid.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MCDOWELL: President Biden's approval rating is sinking fast as multiple

crises pile up and it could screw things up for Democrats in the midterms

next year. The Real Clear Politics average shows Biden's approval slipping

below 50 percent for the first time this year. That's on top of Democrats

already sounding the alarm about their terrible messaging, rising crime,

the border, a spike in COVID cases. Greg?

GUTFELD: These poll numbers are sinking faster than Brian Stelter in a

McDonald's ball pit. I just wrote that one down. I thought it was OK. You

know, the Dem -- you know, our government, they didn't plan an exit

strategy for Kabul, but they should start planning a new exit strategy for

the Democrats in the House and the Senate in the -- when they leave D.C.

Oddly enough, people are craving stability which was kind of what Joe was

promising in the good old days, you know. We understood that Trump was a

chaos engine. He was doing five things at once. You know, Trump shook the

box, Biden promise just to lay in it. And you could say that the presidency

ages the man. I'm hoping that Joe is Benjamin Button because I don't see

him much older.

RIVERA: Again, relatively obscure cultural reference.

PERINO: I got this one.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

PERINO: I would say you forgot one thing that they have, and that is --

excuse me -- redistricting.

RIVERA: Right.

PERINO: So, that's happening this year. And so, Republicans are already

kind of with reason measuring the drapes for some of these districts in the

House that they are targeting. And the recruiting on behalf of Kevin

McCarthy, the minority leader in the House has -- is very good before the

times, diverse candidates and candidates with military backgrounds.

So, it was already going to be very difficult for President Biden to try to

get through this massive agenda. You've got the infrastructure bill, the

debt ceiling issues coming up, reconciliation they want to do, the voting

bills that they want to do. But you add a Kabul commission to the mix and

it's going to slow everything down.

MCDOWELL: Geraldo, I know, this isn't a worry for you, but inflation, I

forgot I forgot that. But 86 --

RIVERA: How much do you need?

MCDOWELL: 86 percent, well, as you take that five ski out of your wallet,

it's worth less, so thank you very much.

RIVERA: Just in that --

MCDOWELL: 86 percent of those people polled by Fox were concerned about

inflation, and people are getting hit seriously hard in like buying

groceries and things like that.

RIVERA: Well, I don't know what milk cost because I don't shop. I don't

like shopping. And now, you order it from the Amazon anyway. But gas is

where people see inflation, gas.

GUTFELD: I get gas from milk.

RIVERA: Gas prices. When you see -- when you see a gallon of gas is over

$3.00, people are (INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Or everybody around me.

RIVERA: I hear -- I hear that that poll result and I discredit it. I think

that what people care about is chaos at the border. They care about Kabul

will be a huge topic because the people will bring in shame and the

Republicans will shame the Democrats for running away and so forth.

But I think that Biden is in trouble. Redistricting seems to be a big

thing. And I think the Republicans will sweep back in power. And I think

that, talking about inflation, that $3.5 trillion package they're trying to

put together, that's what scares people.

MCDOWELL: Yes, that's -- Jesse, that's a -- that is -- Afghanistan is

kryptonite to moderate Democrats. They're not going to go near that. That's

my prediction. But final word to you.

WATTERS: The Biden's slip started in May, June with the right track, wrong

track question that they asked. And it was going well. Remember, Juan used

to come on the show and say it's going to be the summer of love. America is

back, baby. That's not what happened. It started to deteriorate big time

right when the border catastrophe was at its zenith, gas prices started to

go up, and labor shortage. Small business couldn't find workers, so people

were pessimistic.

Then, as Greg mentioned, you get into August, late July, he flip flops on

masks as delta comes up, and then Afghanistan just put them below 50.

People are feeling insecure, and they're not stable. And all the

Republicans have to do is say Joe Biden inherited a recovering economy, a

vaccine, a secure border and a strong foreign policy, and he squandered it.

And as Republicans, here's what we're going to do to make your life better.

MCDOWELL: And all the money that they spent and want to spend is driving up

inflation. Real wages adjusting for inflation have fallen seven months in a

row. So, people are there -- it's eating into their paycheck. Consumer

Confidence is a 10-year low as of last Friday.

WATTERS: Wow.

MCDOWELL: So bad. "THE FASTEST" up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Welcome back. Time for "THE FASTEST." First up, my worst nightmare

came true. A giant snakes in the supermarket. A woman in Australia is

browsing the spice aisle when the head of a 10 foot, nonvenomous python

appeared on the shelf. Luckily, the woman who made the discovery was a

train snake catcher, very convenient, and took the wild video before

reporting it to supermarket staff. I know exactly what you're thinking.

GUTFELD: What.

PERINO: She planted it.

RIVERA: Exactly.

GUTFELD: Yes. This is a hoax. She's been -- you know what she is? She's

been -- like, she tried to spike the aisle with a secret snake just so she

could be famous. By the way, this is a celebrity sighting.

PERINO: I can't look at that.

GUTFELD: That's actually the prison commissary Michael Avenatti was just

going shopping. I don't know what to say about --

RIVERA: That was definitely a snake.

PERINO: I can't look at the video because I'll have a nightmare. So, Jesse,

will you tell me what's going on?

WATTERS: Well, the snake is protruding out of -- what was that, Folgers or

something. I'm surprised there's just no Aussie with a machete to hack the

head off.

PERINO: Right. Just like --

WATTERS: Don't all Aussies carry machetes?

PERINO: I thought so.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: Crocodile Dundee.

WATTERS: Not to make sweeping generalization. That was my understanding.

PERINO: I know -- that was you New Year's resolution.

GUTFELD: That's why I'm always nervous when I tried to ask for a raise.

WATTERS: Yes. Off with their hand.

PERINO: Geraldo, what would you have done? I mean, don't -- I know you

don't do your own grocery shopping.

RIVERA: Well, I don't.

PERINO: We learned that in the last block.

GUTFELD: How much -- how much does a snake cost?

MCDOWELL: I actually know that.

WATTERS: When I was --

RIVERA: You know what a snake cost?

WATTERS: When I was in Burma --

MCDOWELL: You could buy one of these for a few $100.

RIVERA: My house in Malibu, under my bed, I had a rattlesnake. And a

rattlesnake is very, very scary, and we had a small child.

PERINO: Yes.

RIVERA: My son Gabriel, going back 40 years. So, what I did is I took a

kitchen knife and a broomstick and I took gaffer tape and then reached

under the bed. I got -- and then I sought of it's head, and now I'm going

to get letters from --

WATTERS: Really?

PERINO: Yes. Forward them to me. CC me and I will defend him.

WATTERS: You just lost all the followers you've got trying to compete with

the Taliban.

PERINO: You like this thing?

RIVERA: Oh, I got 5000 followers.

PERINO: Hey, that's pretty good.

RIVERA: Me or the Taliban guy?

PERINO: Yes.

MCDOWELL: Good for you.

PERINO: I still haven't -- I haven't made myself look at the video yet so -

MCDOWELL: This is nonvenomous, Dana. I've actually --

PERINO: How do you know though? Like, when you see a snake, like, you just

oh, that's no problem.

MCDOWELL: Well, because this -- I know this is a Diamond Python and I've

held one before. So --

RIVERA: Why?

MCDOWELL: Because I like snakes. I'm a hurt deep down. I dig it. But you

ought to -- should have a bag. You also should have a snake hook. Just to -

PERINO: Just in case --

MCDOWELL: That's how you handle a snake is with a snake hook to avoid

getting bitten. But again, don't bother with snakes because they might be

venomous and you get bitten like your arm rots off.

PERINO: Yes, you don't -- and you don't want that.

RIVERA: Unless you really want that item on the shelf.

PERINO: You really don't want that. All right, "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Time now for "ONE MORE THING." Jesse.

WATTERS: Congratulations to myself for selling 100,000 copies of How I

Saved the World. Let's make it 200,000. Now, let's go to Jesse's semi-

truck.

PERINO: Semi-truck news?

WATTERS: That's right. All right, this happened in Ohio, Geraldo's neck of

the woods, where a semi-truck tried to cross some train tracks. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: There's a train coming. Oh, he's going to hit that son

of a (BLEEP). He's going to (BLEEP) hit him. Oh my God.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Everyone died.

PERINO: Jesse.

WATTERS: Just kidding. Everyone didn't die.

GUTFELD: It's semi.

WATTERS: And it's semi-truck. I mispronounced it. Who cares?

PERINO: That's the first time you saw that video?

WATTERS: Who cares? Do you think I know about trucking? All right, speaking

to train wrecks, I'll be on "TUCKER" tonight where I'll probably mention my

book. And is that all I'm talking about? I guess that's it.

PERINO: I think -- I think you did a good job.

WATTERS: Thank you.

GUTFELD: All right, Dana.

PERINO: All right, so I have a new podcast available for Everything Will Be

Okay Podcast. Ben Shapiro was on. He talks about how multitasking is

impossible. But he also talks about his book which is the Authoritarian

Moment -- Movement, excuse me, how the left weaponized America's

institutions against dissent.

And I have this cute little video. OK, so this young man, he's 17, is

getting ready to go to college and his younger brother is so upset. So,

every day he would dress up in a different costume to greet his brother so

that they could have a little sweet memory before he takes off for college.

WATTERS: That's funny.

GUTFELD: Halloween every day.

PERINO: Isn't that cute? Well, very good, Jesse. You know your characters.

GUTFELD: I think I've seen this before, right?

PERINO: I think it's not a completely new concept, but this is new for this

family.

GUTFELD: All right, well, I'll let it slide.

WATTERS: What's that?

GUTFELD: Let's do this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Animals are great! Animals are great! Animals are great!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's the best (INAUDIBLE) ever made, by the way. You know what I

love? I like playing children's games like Duck Duck Goose, especially when

you get the authentic people to play it, like these little critters here

playing a mazing game of Duck Duck Goose. But that's -- there is -- that's

actually not a goose. I think that's a duck.

PERINO: But the dog -- maybe the dog's name is --

GUTFELD: The dog -- the dog identifies --

PERINO: As a goose?

GUTFELD: As a goose.

WATTERS: What kind of dog is that?

GUTFELD: I didn't really look.

WATTERS: A dachshund?

RIVERA: Dachshund.

WATTERS: Dachshund.

PERINO: Long-haired.

WATTERS: Long-haired dachshund.

PERINO: Yes, there you go. Very nice.

GUTFELD: Anyway, there you go. Look at how he waits for him. He stops and

then he waits for the duck. They're having a good time. See, isn't that

great? Isn't that great? They're having a great time. They have no --

PERINO: I could watch it all day.

RIVERA: You can watch it all night.

GUTFELD: They have no -- they have concept of time. They don't know what's

going on. They're not worried about it -- they don't have any existential

problems, you know. All right.

RIVERA: I think the duck does have existential problems.

GUTFELD: You have existential problems, Geraldo.

RIVERA: Well, now that you mentioned it, here is tonight's edition of

Geraldo's Geraldo News with Geraldo. I love that. Sabrina came up with it.

So, it's not about me. The lead is not. It's Mike Tobin, our dear

colleague, a longtime colleague, a war reporter, intrepid crime reporter,

wonderful guy. He got engaged to Julie Casimiro in Park City, Utah.

And last night, what makes it relevant to the segment is that last night,

Bill Hemmer and Craig, my brother Craig, and I welcomed Mike Tobin. He is

usually based in Chicago and the Rooftop of the Peninsula became my

favorite bar in town. And we put a few back.

PERINO: Why didn't you invite any girls?

MCDOWELL: Yes?

RIVERA: That's a -- that's an excellent question because where do you --

where do you end, you start?

PERINO: Congratulations, Mike Tobin.

MCDOWELL: Yes. He was a college cheerleader.

RIVERA: He was.

PERINO: So is George W. Bush.

RIVERA: At Arizona State. Yes. He did all the tricks. Mike did all the

tricks.

GUTFELD: Would that be funny --

RIVERA: He's at (INAUDIBLE) and the Wildcat.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: -- the fact that he just doesn't want people to know about, but

you just keep bringing it up? Hey, he was a male cheerleader. Shut up

already. All right, Dagen.

MCDOWELL: He's a strong man. So, this -- Geraldo is making me do this story

because this is how big Geraldo's like, bathtub is. This is his rubber

duck. I'm just kidding. This rubber duck just appeared out of nowhere. This

is a harbor in main, Belfast Harbor. They have nowhere -- no idea where it

came from. The harbormaster though says it gives everybody a lot of joy.

They love the duck.

GUTFELD: I wonder if it came first.

RIVERA: There's a lot of ducks on tonight.

PERINO: Or the egg.

GUTFELD: Yes, the eggs.

PERINO: You're killing the stage manager. He can't take it anymore.

GUTFELD: It's so bad.

RIVERA: It's been a delight to work with you all.

GUTFELD: Wait, are you leaving now?

WATTERS: Oh, bye, Geraldo.

PERINO: Bye. Bye Geraldo.

RIVERA: I'm taking Friday off.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: The show is not over, Geraldo.

RIVERA: My Friday is for me.

GUTFELD: "SPECIAL REPORT" is up next. Hi, Bret. You're still here, right?

BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: Hi, Greg. Duck, duck, Mike Tobin, it's

a good end. All right, that's nice.

GUTFELD: Yes.

materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not

be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast

without the prior written permission of VIQ Media Transcription, Inc. You

may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from

copies of the content.