'The Five' on fear of COVID variant, Republicans blamed for defund the police rhetoric

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Liberal leadership continues to push mask mandates, lockdowns

Reaction and analysis from Dana Perino, Greg Gutfeld, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Watters and Katie Pavlich on 'The Five'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," June 29, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Mayonnaise. Hello, everyone. I'm Greg Gutfeld along with Katie Pavlich, Jessica Tarlov, Jesse Watters, and she plays hopscotch on a Rubik's cube, Dana Perino. It's 5:00 in New York City and this is the square root of 25.

The Biden administration is desperately trying to spin a new narrative after the "defund the police" move blew up in the Democrats faces. Big surprise there. The White House us actually trying to claim now it's the Republicans who support defunding the police. But if only we had a flashback montage of numerous Democrats expressing their explicit desire to cut money from the cops. Oh, we do.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. AYANNA PRESSLEY (D-MA): Yes, I support the defund movement because this is about the investment in our communities which have historically been divested.

REP. ILHAN OMAR (D-MN): Not only do we need to defund, but we need to dismantle and start anew.

REP. ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ (D-NY): Many affluent suburbs have essentially already begun pursuing a defunding of the police. In that, they fund schools, they fund housing.

LORI LIGHTFOOD, MAYOR OF CHICAGO: We can't rely upon the police to provide public safety.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: And better yet, what if we had an old tape of the current vice president lending her support back when she was a senator.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KAMALA HARRIS, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: We've got to re-examine what we're doing with American taxpayer dollars and ask the question, are we getting the right return on our investment? Are we actually creating healthy and safe communities? And that's a legitimate conversation and it requires a really critical evaluation. I applaud Eric Garcetti for doing what he's done.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: The White House trying to shift blame because crime is out of control in cities across the nation. Just look at the increases now versus same time last year. And listen to the Oakland, California police chief on what these liberal policies have done.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LERONNE ARMSTRONG, OAKLAND POLICE CHIEF: We see clearly that crime is out of control in the city of Oakland and our response was for less police resources. That additional $17 million that was reduced from the police department's budget will have an impact. We already have a tough time responding to the high number of calls that we get. This will make it tougher having less officers in the field.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It's terrible. So I think, Jessica, the big lie was always that this was a fringe idea, but there are people in the current administration who are pro defunding including Harris. As somebody who was very pro-crime, do you think this is a good strategy to blame the Republicans for something you are for?

JESSICA TARLOV, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: There are so many ways to go in that opener. So, Vice President Harris did make that comment about policies that Eric Garcetti was thinking about implementing. I don't believe that he did but she has never actually been an advocate for defunding the police, i.e. taking away their budgets.

The rest of the montage had members of the squad and then who are our most liberal branch. And the man who won the election, Joe Biden, was vehemently against defunding the police consistently throughout the election and certainly came out forcefully for that over the summer.

Now, what Jen Psaki did from the podium, it was definitely some good wordsmithing there. We do know that the Trump 2021 budget did take $515 million away from police programs including Obama-era policies that were going to get more body cameras, et cetera, to police officers.

But I think that people are going to identify Democrats with the term defund the police and that we need voices like with Clyburn, like Joe Biden, like police chiefs to be out there as forcefully as possible saying we need all of our funding, we need to be smarter about the way that we police, but certainly ripping budgets away is not the answer.

GUTFELD: So you are pro-murder, okay. Jesse, wouldn't it be wise just to take the L on this and admit how stupid they were to think fewer cops meant fewer murders. And the idea that we somehow are going to forget this whole past year when we were told to our faces that police were the problem.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Jessica said something inaccurate. I have to correct the record. The Trump administration did not cut funding for police. Every single year that funding for those programs grew as opposed to what it was for Obama and Biden. It's a little trickery. We're not going to fall for it. But let me continue.

TARLOV: The other Jesse on the panel just said something inaccurate because --

WATTERS: Let me continue. Let me continue, if I may. This is why the Democrats are having a hard time with this argument because they can't play the race card here. Notice how they're not playing the race card. The Democrats are only good at that, at playing the race card.

They either will censor conservatives or they will throw the race card down. When they actually have to debate a policy which they triggered, the substance of it, they're having a hard time and they are scrambling. And notice when Trump is now not there, this isn't about Donald Trump anymore.

He was such a crutch for the left linguistically during the last four years because every policy was personal. It was about him. Either for something because he was against it or vice versa. He's not there. So now defund the police has to stand on its own and it's been exposed as dangerous and causing death throughout the country.

And they don't have a real solution for it and that's why they are blaming Republicans, they're blaming guns and it's sad. Right now, if you look at all the montages we played, some Democrats are saying, yes, dismantle the police and the other Democrats, they are dancing around it. They are saying, oh, you know, let's tweak the police departments, let's reimagine police departments.

Joe Biden actually said let's redirect funding from police departments, So there was never like, oh, the strong Democrats stare down the far left last year. No. They were beholden to them and could not come out and say the truth.

I had Johnny research a list of all the cities, 22 cities defunded the police to the tune of over a billion dollars. Every single city was run by Democrats and all the Democrat mayors signed off on it. It's not a Republican issue. It's a Democrat issue.

GUTFELD: And it's a good point, that once you remove the kind of the racial obsession, what they were left with, and everybody had to admit, was an absolute disastrous idea. The idea survived under the guise that this was a race issue. Black versus white, white cops versus black suspects even though the data totally suggest otherwise. So it think it's -- you comment on my great thoughts. Thank you.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: It's a great thought. They are great thoughts. And about all of these cities, really it's not just the squad that is part of the Democratic Party or Joe Biden. I think there are Democrats all across the country who are either important leadership positions in their cities, on their city councils, just like we are seeing the school board on the CRT stuff.

So, they are making those decisions and nobody in the Democratic Party was like stop. What are you doing? This terrible. I will lead to terrible consequences, no. There was appeasement.

And I don't think anyone is going to be fooled by this and I think it's really disrespectful to the American people because what happened to the clarity and honesty and integrity that was going to come back to White House communications? They are now coordinating a lie and no one is going to fall for it, but really like the fact-checkers, do not fall for this.

GUTFELD: Yes, where are they?

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Yes, but they are not fact-checking right now. Since Biden has been elected, the fact checkers are all on --

PERINO: And yes, they're like on sabbatical.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: They have one of those like out of office replies. We'll be back in four years. But the last thing I wanted to say is that I also think it's really disrespectful to two other entities, people, so the American people writ-large. But also, what about the people who are actually leading the "defund the police" movement?

How do you think they feel now? Like wait, that was a great idea and now you're thinking it's a bad idea and blaming Republicans. Wait, we started this movement.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: And then you think about that police chief in Oakland.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: How insulting to him and he certainly deserves better as do the other police chiefs in the country.

GUTFELD: Katie, there are two other things that feed into this. One, the media distorted the role of law enforcement as like a roving killers that hunt black men. Those were actual, like, belies. And the other thing is that some costs, like once you go into something, you can't get out of it because then you have to look back and go, wow, was I wrong for this whole year. I've done that because I'm a humble person. But the media --

WATTERS: Yes. What was that that you reflected upon?

GUTFELD: Lot of things.

WATTERS: Yes. So many come to mind.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. Yes. I embrace being wrong. That's what I'm saying, like, it's the stubbornness of their sunk cause that preventing them.

KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Well, and they essentially equated policing with racism last year.

GUTFELD: Right.

PAVLICH: And they allowed the media to continue running with this narrative that that's exactly what police departments across the country were doing and therefore they needed to get on board with this idea that they had to take away funding and that the police were the bad guys when there were billions of dollars' worth of damage from the riots last year. Joe Biden as a candidate waited months until --

GUTFELKD: Right.

PAVLICH: -- to really come out vehemently, as Jessica said, to condemn any kind of violence and wasn't on the side of the police officers when it came to law and order and watching cities burn and watching police precincts literally lit on fire when they ousted the police chief in Seattle who was a black woman who was in charge of the police force there.

You have Democrat police chiefs now begging Democrat-run city councils to stop inflicting harm on their communities because they are the ones who are getting called for the homicides that are happening more and more. The final thing is that it's funny how they are now basically admitting inadvertently that "defund the police" is bad.

So by them saying, well, Republicans are the ones who defunded the police and they are responsible for the consequences. Actually, you guys did that and you're accidentally admitting that it was a bad idea and that there are consequences to the action.

PERINO: Can I make one other point? I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: But on all of those cities, a lot of that is local taxpayer money, right?

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: So, as a society, you pay into your local tax base and so that you can take care of trash collection and crime prevention and things like that. Well, what happens now is, so those city councils voted to defund and what has Joe Biden is suggesting?

PAVLICH: He's bailing them out.

PERINO: But you take federal tax payer money that which everybody pays across the country in order to deal with that.

GUTFELD: That's crazy.

PAVLICH: Yes. It's a crime bailout.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PAVLICH: That's exactly what it is.

GUTFELD: I think it's time to un-defund -- un-defund.

PERINO: Re-defund.

GUTFELD: That's a new word.

TARLOV: That sounds fun.

PAVLICH: Refund.

GUTFELD: It is. It sounds fun to un-defund. All right, I should shut up now. Up next, the liberals trying to turn back the clock on COVID lockdowns and bring back mask mandates.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: This part isn't funny, but the commercial break was very funny. There's a push to make America mask up again. It's gaining momentum. Officials are concerned about the fast spreading delta variant and are now telling people to cover up even if they are vaccinated. L.A. County is strongly recommending people cover up indoors while to governor of Illinois is now encouraging people to do the same. And other parts of the world are starting to bring back lockdowns. Greg?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: The delta variant. The thing is, if you actually listen to what the science are saying, if you are vaccinated, your chances of -- you might -- you could possibly get this, but if you do, you're not going to the hospital. You're not dying.

GUTFELD: The big issue here is this is a pattern that is self-replicating. The possibility of future variants is an easily manufactured story that creates fear tactics that could conceivably go on forever. Like, this could happen next month or the month after that and the month out of that. That's why you have to take a stand now and say, we're done, we get it, this could be like an ongoing low-grade war against a virus, but we also must live our lives.

So we're not going to sit here and be terrorized by the media. You can't spell crackdown with crack, Dana. And the media is addicted to fear. There's no coincidence that the people that are -- the pro-lock heads are, you know, in the media, academia and entertainment.

Because what's another two to four months to them, right? Their investments are doing great. You know, they don't run a dry cleaner, they don't run a diner, they don't run a massage parlor, I know that. So, they don't have to worry about it. I'm very (inaudible) but anybody who's pro-lockdown because I know they can endure it.

PERINO: So I was asking Trace who is in this week on newsroom, and he's from California. I said, so what's it's like out there? People complying with this? And he said, they just sort of just kind of -- most people do. They're like, okay, we'll put our masts back on and the rest of them are sitting around going this can't be happening again, Katie.

PAVLICH: I think the people have skin on the game are saying this can't be happening again. I mean, people who have been working at home or maybe still are working at home think it's not a big deal, people who can't work from home think like, look, I've done everything that I could possibly do over the past year.

I stayed at home. I gave up my life. I gave up my business. I sacrificed everything. I got the vaccine or I had now true immunity and now they are still telling me that they may re-impose these restrictions. And it comes from people who quite frankly, blown basically all of their credibility, whether it's people in the media or whether it's Dr. Fauci who, you know, was asked to come testify today again about COVID, but doesn't want to talk about the origins of where it came from.

You know, we were told to mask up, told not to mask up. There's a lot of mixed signals. And especially in California with Gavin Newsom, people in charge making it really scary for everybody else about how this is going to be, but then going off and living their lives as if there isn't a pandemic.

So, I think some people will be fine with moving forward or backward I guess, back into what we saw last year, but I think a lot of people are thinking there is a bait and switch and life comes with risks. And given the data that we are seeing in the delta variant, it's not deadlier than all of the other strains as the White House said today. And so, we'll see what happens, but --

PERINO: You mentioned that hearing on Capitol Hill today that the Republicans held. Here is minority whip Steve Scalise blasting the speaker.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. STEVE SCALISE (R-LA): Speaker Pelosi has refused to allow a single hearing calling it a diversion. We should be having a bipartisan investigation. Speaker Pelosi should immediately take up the bill that passed unanimously out of the Senate that would declassify all intelligence related to the origins of COVID. Think about this, there is a bill that passed the Senate unanimously, all Republicans, all Democrats. Speaker Pelosi is yet to bring that up. We're calling on her to bring that up.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: All right, Jessica, let me give you a chance to talk about that. I guess the Democrats, maybe they are waiting for this intel report that Biden is going to get in another 60 days.

TARLOV: Potentially or around two of the WHO report. Either way, I have no objections to as many people as possible investigating this. I mean, something took over 600,000 American lives, 3.5 million thus far. We don't even know the extra people who died of comorbidities and all of that. So, point well taken by Steve Scalise there.

And if something does get unanimous consent in the Senate when we are holding the majority there, you can pretty much feel safe that this is something that people should be looking into and I hope that that happens.

As far as the delta variant goes, I think the fear factor which Greg referenced is really important in this. There was a really great "New York Times" piece by David Leonhardt -- I might have mispronounced that, which I did not mean to do -- which went into the study that was done by an economist at Dartmouth about the fear that was perpetrated by the American media about COVID versus other countries.

And are pressed exponentially more scare people and we know how the click bait society works. We know about that by, whether it's online T.V., all of it. And I think that it's really informed how a lot of people are planning their future lives and that scares me. When you see kids, there was a story about an 11-year-old who was like, I don't want to go to camp, right.

His camp is outside, he's scared about not being able to be masked up. Things like that really need to be combated. And the delta variant is serious and when you look at -- I look at Israel for a lot of the examples for how to deal with things like that. They are masked up indoors. It's legitimate and they are all vaccinated.

PERINO: Okay.

TARLOV: But we have to measure the fear versus the realities.

PERINO: In the U.K., Jesse, there's a new, like, health secretary. Basically I don't know what the cabinet officer is called.

TARLOV: U.K. health secretary, yes.

PERINO: Anyway, he basically came out today and said, guys --

GUTFELD: It's a he?

PERINO: -- it is.

GUTFELD: Secretary.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: He is going -- he said --

WATTERS: It's 2021.

GUTFELD: I have no idea.

PERINO: -- everyone in the U.K. needs to realize that -- we're going to have to live with this a little bit. You're not going to stay indoors forever, you can't keep people from living their lives.

WATTERS: I was terrified when I heard about the delta variant, sounds like a David Baldacci thriller. And so I looked into it and you know how many people died from COVID in the entire United Kingdom yesterday? Three. Three people died of COVID yesterday in the entire U.K.

And the delta variant is less than 0.1 percent of all deaths. It's not an issue there, but I'm so scared when I read CNN, which I do because it's provided to me, that you know, you don't know what to think. And I have to get petty again, Greg. You know how I do that sometimes.

GUTFELD: Oh, I like this.

WATTERS: When I hear Jessica Tarlov site "The New York Times" opinion piece which is setting a Dartmouth study, all that to say that the media fearmongered COVID, I could've told you that. THE FIVE could have told you that. We told you that all last year, but when he says it in "The Times" and the Dartmouth study, oh wow, yes, no kidding.

TARLOV: Mu ivory tower way of agreeing with my colleagues.

WATTERS: You ivory towered me, stop doing that.

GUTFELD: This is just like the fact that we were talking about the lab, but it wasn't until Jon Stewart.

TARLOV: Right.

WATTERS: Jon Stewart. Now we have to pay attention. And one last piece --

PERINO: About time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: -- (inaudible) I have to tell you this. L.A. County which is re- doing the masks, they are averaging five deaths a day, five deaths a day. We use to average 1,000 here. Five deaths a day. More people are getting shot.

PAVLICH: And the lockdowns were so devastating and we still haven't thoroughly talked about that.

PERINO: Nope.

PAVLICH: And just to go back to that, I think be completely irresponsible given the way now.

PERINO: I don't think people will. I don't believe, I don't know, but we'll keep talking about it. Up next, Biden's honeymoon with progressive Democrats is over. Why the far left is furious with the president. We'll be back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Joe Biden setting off the far left for, gasp, working with the Republicans. Did I just read gasp? The president in Wisconsin doing damage control on his bipartisan trillion dollar infrastructure package after he almost blew up the deal by trying to appease members of the squad with the promise of trillions more in spending. The president changing his tune today.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: This bipartisan breakthrough is a great deal for the American people, not just for folks in cities, not just for red states or blue states, but for everybody. I know that either the Democrats or Republicans get everything they want in this agreement. It's not all that I propose, but that's what our economy is all about, that what it means to compromise and reach consensus and that's what every -- in the heart of every democracy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Of course, the far left is furious with the deal. AOC and her fellow climate crusaders actually showed up outside the White House and called Biden a coward.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

OCASIO-CORTEZ: We have a critical mass of people saying no climate, no deal.

We got to push. We must push.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right, Dana, I thought last week that we had a deal. Biden came out, he even whispered that he had a deal.

GUTFELD: That's right.

WATTERS: And then all of a sudden there is no deal and he is scrambling and what is happening?

PERINO: Well, I think that Democrats are in disarray and I think it's pretty funny that many of them believe that the Republicans are now in the hot seat because they have to decide if they're going to support this deal.

No. Republicans already said, we'll be willing to do this deal and then two hours later Joe Biden said I will veto that if I also don't get all this human (ph) infrastructure at $4 trillion.

Look, they've treated Bernie Sanders like he was a crazy uncle for so long, but now he's actually chairman of the Budget Committee. And he's saying $6 trillion. And the left isn't going to let up on this. So, actually, the Republicans could just sit back, eat some popcorn and watch --

WATTERS: Just watch them fight it out.

PERINO: -- the situation. Now, the one thing the Republicans do have to think about is a lot of these things sound very popular. And when you do the initial poll, remember this from the 2016 election or 2020, but probably 2016 as well. If you say, do you think everyone should have free health care? Do you think people should be able to have free college? Do you think this?

And the numbers will be like, yes, people should be able to do that. People should -- but do you think you should pitch in? Do you think you should pay for that? Do you think you should pay?

PAVLICH: No.

PERINO: And then they answer like, oh wait, no. And like that dramatically drops. The messaging on that for Republicans is a little bit more difficult, but I mean, they're going to have to do their best.

WATTERS: And so, Katie, does this prove that Joe Biden is a puppet of the far left because every time they scream, he just jerks himself back into their position and we don't have a deal.

PAVLICH: Well, he totally gave them an opportunity to be controlled by the left on this issue because he made this odd statement that he would veto his own bill last week and then over the weekend to release this multi- paragraph treatment trying to backtrack on why that wasn't a good idea.

We're going to have to see how this plays out on Capitol Hill. Mitch McConnell hasn't exactly said what they're going to do yet on this. I think we should look forward a little bit because Democrats and Republicans all like to spend money, but are they going to actually be able to implement these projects?

There's a roadblock standing in front of Joe Biden's infrastructure bill when it comes to the environment. So, Trump talked about this all the time. You can't build roads and bridges and infrastructure if you have these burdensome environmental regulations. On the books, there's a law called the National Environmental Policy Act of 1969.

PERINO.

WATTERS: Of course, you know it.

PAVLICH: And remember, it showed already jobs. Well, a lot of that didn't happen, and a lot of money got wasted because of that. So, I don't think they're really thinking about the implementation of this and the consequences of a lack of actual infrastructure either.

WATTERS: So, Jessica, is Biden not the deal maker we thought he was here?

TARLOV: I don't think that Joe Biden has failed at all thus far, certainly in getting what he wants. He has his $1.9 trillion American rescue package. This is a core component of the American Jobs Act. And Mitch McConnell said over the weekend, if the reconciliation bill isn't necessarily tied to this, Republicans should be for this.

Everybody wants infrastructure and certainly, Republicans that are in states with crumbling bridges -- we have a crumbling building in Florida now that you know --

PAVLICH: Unrelated. It's a private building.

TARLOV: I understand. I'm just saying there are disasters all around.

PAVLICH: But it's not for infrastructure plan.

TARLOV: OK, I'm not saying it's going to fund Surfside, I'm just saying that people are surrounded by things that are broken, and Republicans and Democrats want to fix them.

WATTERS: You know what else is crumbling? Your Ivory Tower, really crashing down.

TARLOV: My degrees are in great shape right now.

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: (INAUDIBLE)

TARLOV: But putting aside the private versus public infrastructure issue, Joe Biden has gotten what he wanted. And I think we all remember when the squad was like, oh, I don't know if we're going to vote for Nancy Pelosi speaker and then they all lined up and they voted for Nancy Pelosi.

PAVLICH: That is true.

TARLOV: They fall in line and Bernie Sanders has also fallen in line throughout his entire 50 year curmudgeonly career. So, I think that Joe Biden will be able to get this done with the spending bill.

PAVLICH: But can Republicans trust Democrats not to then spend?

PERINO: No.

PAVLICH: They can't. So, that's the --

PAVLICH: Republicans (INAUDIBLE).

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Never post a Democrat. That's what I always say, Greg. When you saw the video of AOC screaming at Biden with a bullhorn from outside the White House, what do you think of that?

GUTFELD: I thought insurrection, insurrection. You know, what's the use of infrastructure if you can't use it with these gas prices? Is anybody going to be on the highway? Have you seen how high the gas prices are? They're like -- they're insane.

By the way, because I don't know what's going to happen with this thing, but you know, Whispering Joe did just bomb a bunch of places. The media didn't really seem to mind because foreign death is preferable to mean tweets about CNN, right? That's the eternal irony is that you know, you don't have to deal with that abrasive personality anymore, and Joe was so kind. Bomb away.

WATTERS: Maybe he was bombing to distract --

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: -- from his failed infrastructure deal.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Now, I'm a CNN contributor. Those are the kinds of things they said about Trump for four years. All right, straight ahead, a liberal--

GUTFELD: Just don't do a Zoom call.

WATTERS: Yes, don't worry. Straight ahead, a liberal late-night host accused of fueling racism now caving to the cancel culture mob

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: Nobody is ever woken up for the left. For example, liberal late night host James Corden announcing he's changing his popular Spill Your Guts or Fill Your Guts segment because people think it's racist. It involves celebrities choosing between answering a personal question or eating something disgusting.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JAMES CORDEN, LATE-NIGHT HOST: A beetle jello shots which is the jello shot with beetles inside it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No way. No.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PAVLICH: -- accusing Corden of encouraging racism and hate because some of the disgusting foods were Asian in origin. So, in the future, celebs will instead be given the choice of answering the question or eating a food that might ruin their diets such as a pizza topped with cheeseburgers. So, Jessie, are the same people outraged over this the same ones telling us we should be eating cicadas? That's my question.

WATTERS: I want to be careful with this one, so I want to read from the notes I wrote here. James Corden is confusing racism with relativism. Chinese cuisine is not inherently bad, it's just the polar opposite from what Western tastebuds and society is used to.

So, if there was a Chinese version of James Corden and they did this silly show over there, and they fed people in Beijing grits, the Chinese people would probably -- it's disgusting, grits is disgusting. Or what if they gave them like liverwurst with pickles and mayonnaise sandwich? They'd probably think it was sick, they'd yak, and everybody in the audience would clap and laugh.

GUTFELD: These were your safe notes?

WATTERS: Yes. And this is a component of comedy, Greg. And I know you agree with me, it's the culture clash, right? You send someone from the city to the country, like city slickers, right, or the country to the city.

GUTFELD: That's real life.

WATTERS: Right. Coming to America is funny. You know, Chevy Chase, you take an American and send them to Paris, European vacation. What's the other one? When you take someone that's poor and put them in a wealthy environment or vice versa --

GUTFELD: Trading Places?

WATTERS: Overboard with Goldie Hawn. Trading Places, Eddie Murphy, black, white, rich. That's funny because it's people that are different doing the exactly opposite things that they're used to. That's the same thing with eating, you know, exotic Chinese food if you're from this country.

PAVLICH: OK, Dana, your thoughts.

PERINO: Well, it's just that cheeseburgers on pizza sound excellent. I don't know what the problem is with that. And also --

GUTFELD: It's not Asian.

PERINO: -- that segment is going to be so boring because we all know what will ruin a diet.

PAVLICH: Yes.

PERINO: We all know. Like, that's -- it's obvious.

PAVLICH: I think beetle shots would ruin a diet. Real quick, Greg.

GUTFELD: You know, OK, so this is cowardly and it's infuriating because they got suckered in by petition rhetoric, right, and also the low barrier of entry for signing a petition. I mean, anybody could sign a petition. None of the people who signed a petition actually watched this show. And they're so -- their producers are so cowardly and stupid they fell for this.

Like, saying that this encourages racism and hate, that's the -- that's the petition lexicon. You know, it's always a seeding rhetoric because that's the only way you're going to get the media's attention, their attention. People designed it. You can't just say we don't like this selection of foods because it makes -- it makes the culture look gross or something.

They can't do it like that. They go, he is a racist and he's driving Asians to some kind of self-loathing suicidal binge. My suggestion for them, everybody on that show, is to go eat a bag of spotted dicks. Because that is an amazing British dessert, right? It is a baked pudding, and it's got suet, S-U-E-T, right, suet? Is that it? Suet?

PERINO: Suet.

GUTFELD: Suet, a dried fruit, but it's usually currant and raisins. It is so disgusting. And the most important about spotted dick, it's British, like James Corden.

PAVLICH: Right.

GUTFELD: So, why don't you James Corden, instead of being a coward, do your culture's food, intersperse it?

PAVLICH: Well, because with all due respect, English food isn't the greatest. Jessica, your thoughts?

TARLOV: It has improved dramatically in recent years. You know, I lived there for six years when I was doing my graduate education.

WATTERS: There you go again.

TARLOV: And it severely increased in quality. Best spotted dick reference in a movie King Ralph. That was like my favorite.

PAVLICH: That was good.

TARLOV: King Ralph was great. I think that so much of this -- and we talked about this with Kimmy Schmidt with Ellie Kemper.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: So much of it is about who's delivering these messages, the intent. You get a vibe for a person and I think people know who James Corden is. He's someone who wants to do karaoke and cars, who is effusive and lovely and jokes about his weight and talks about his struggles with it.

GUTFELD: But didn't he get mad at somebody about his weight recently? Didn't he attacked somebody who said something about his weight?

TARLOV: I don't -- stop trying to take James Corden down. I think that you should instead of changing the segment, if you think it's a problem, and I understand that, cancel it. Don't modify it. Just be like, we looked at it and this is not something that we want to do anymore.

GUTFELD: No one could have fun anymore.

PAVLICH: Yes.

GUTFELD: We could not do Fear Factor.

PAVLICH: It's boring. Everything is boring.

TARLOV: You're having fun.

GUTFELD: No, we could not do Fear Factor.

WATTERS: Especially with Joe Rogan.

GUTFELD: No. Exactly. Exactly. There's no comedy.

PAVLICH: It's all boring, all boring. All right, ahead, it was our weight loss tools, speaking of food, that locks your mouth. That's next here in "THE FASTEST."

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TARLOV: Welcome back. It's time for "THE FASTEST." Dana is already having the best time. First up, a bizarre new weight loss tool is being compared to a torture device because it prevents you from opening your mouth more than two millimeters. It uses magnets to basically stop people from eating solid foods, so hopefully, they enjoy smoothies. Dana?

PERINO: I just thinking that I might try this with Jesse to save him.

WATTERS: A magnet in my mouth.

PERINO: It's not about food. So, he can articulate his thoughts that are coming out. I think this is terrible because all the people are going to do if they have this is think about the fact that their mouth is -- like the idea is to be able to not be thinking about food all the time and be able to have more of a balance and enjoy your life.

TARLOV: Healthy lifestyle.

PERINO: And I don't think that -- maybe it'll work for people. OK, I get it. But I would hope that people would not feel like they need to have this.

TARLOV: Greg?

GUTFELD: I'm looking at the little credit up there. Is that University of Otago. All right, so let's just call this was what it is. It's not real. This is a joke. People are fat in this country, right? And the way you get on fat is you change your dietary habits and you exercise. You go on a high protein, low carb diet. Dr. Atkins was right. You start doing that.

We're eating way too many carbs. We were lied to by our government about the nutrition pyramid. The nutrition pyramid made us obese. It's time to change it. Everybody is so scared to talk about obesity. Oh my god, you're fat-shaming. No, it's harmful. If you have loved ones who are overweight, you should help them lose weight.

TARLOV: Do you have Wikipedia?

WATTERS: The University of Otago is in New Zealand.

GUTFELD: There you go.

WATTERS: If you were wondering.

GUTFELD: There you go. It proves my point.

WATTERS: I was just impressed by how crude this device was. Some of the crudest devices are the most effective. Think about it, the border wall, condoms.

PAVLICH: Oh, my God.

WATTERS: Knives.

PERINO: What?

WATTERS: Think about it. They're just so simple, so crude, yet so effective.

PAVLICH: This is not simple. They could pull out your teeth.

WATTERS: It keeps your mouth closed and don't eat so much. It's amazing. Sometimes if you think like a simpleton, you can get rich.

PAVLICH: This is not a simpleton.

TARLOV: Don't leave that door open for everyone here, Jesse. Katie?

PAVLICH: It's drilled into their teeth. It's not that simple.

WATTERS: Oh, it's drilling?

GUTFELD: Oh my goodness.

PAVLICH: Yes, it's like a brace. It's like a brace that was glued on --

WATTERS: Oh, I thought it was a magnet?

PAVLICH: It's glued on to the teeth and then it has magnets.

TARLOV: It has magnets but it becomes part of your infrastructure.

WATTERS: Human infrastructure.

PAVLICH: I can see how they came up with this. Bridges lock, he had these lockboxes with timers on it for food. I can understand how they would come up with this. But Greg is right. 80 percent of people who died from COVID or who were hospitalized because of COVID were obese. So, it was the number one pre-existing condition for that problem. So, better lifestyle for everyone. That would be good.

TARLOV: OK, next up, cracking jokes in the office can actually help you move ahead in your career. 98 percent of executives say they preferred employees who had a sense of humor and 84 percent believed funny employees did better work. So, let's start with you, Katie. This seems quite obvious. It shows that people are --

PAVLICH: It is obvious and why this show is so much fun because everybody here is so funny.

GUTFELD: OK, try to go to the HR department and say, but I was kidding. This is such -- this is such baloney. People say, oh, I'd love for somebody with a sense of humor. No, not in the workplace. Not if they have dollars in their minds and they're going to sue your pants off.

PAVLICH: They're offended.

WATTERS: I actually tried that with H.R. They did not buy that.

TARLOV: But it's what kind of sense of humor, right, if you have -- like --

PAVLICH: Nothing is allowed anymore. No jokes allowed ever anywhere, none.

PERINO: It's going to be pretty boring.

TARLOV: Exactly. And no one wants that.

GUTFELD: The only reason why it works here is that we are doing it publicly so everybody hears it. If this were a conversation in a work cafeteria and there are no cameras and somebody overheard you, they can actually tell people how the conversation went and you would be on the defense. But the fact is, if somebody was offended by something you said, we go well, we have tape of it. She was joking. Did you see my point?

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: This show survives because people can see that we're joking. Whereas other people, when you're not being filmed, can interpret you as not joking and ruin your life.

WATTERS: Great way to make people know that you're joking. Throw a movie clip in there. It just takes the edge off.

TARLOV: OK, we're going to get through all the topics. And finally, a staple dad style is making a big fashion comeback. Jean shorts are now back in. The question is do you buy a pair of them or do you make them yourself? Dad Jesse?

WATTERS: No, I'm anti-jean. We talked about this in the break. I don't wear them. They're uncomfortable.

TARLOV: But they didn't hear it.

WATTERS: I don't wear jeans and I definitely don't wear jean shorts.

TARLOV: But you wear athleisure.

WATTERS: I wear athleisure.

TARLOV: Because I'm the ivory tower offender. Dana, do you love jean shorts?

PERINO: I think that these are looking very 80s. I mean, Peter rocked a pair of these when we were first met.

WATTERS: He did?

PERINO: But that was 24 years ago when they were popular.

WATTERS: Peter wore jean shorts.

PERINO: I mean, do you remember -- do you remember the late 90s?

WATTERS: Actually, I can see that.

GUTFELD: But they always say, dress for the job you want not the job you have. You dress like that, you want to be a male prostitute.

PAVLICH: Well, my dad only wears long jeans usually, so I don't -- and if he had to wear shorts, he would make them himself for sure.

PERINO: Oh, wow.

WATTERS: He would?

PAVLICH: Yes.

GUTFELD: Cut-offs.

TARLOV: I do think they're --

PAVLICH: It's about comfort not fashion.

TARLOV: -- there are men that don't wear shorts. Like, the guys that are like, I will only wear long pants.

PAVLICH: Yes, there's lots of them.

WATTERS: Yes. Try that in the humidity.

TARLOV: He lives in Arizona. I mean, he's in like --

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH: Dry heat.

TARLOV: So, it's fine. We got to go. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It's time now for "ONE MORE THING." I get to go first. It's time for Greg's itchy bear news. A lot of itchy bear news going on, Dana. I don't know where to begin but let's go to the Appalachian Mountains. Check out this bear. Oh that's got to feel good.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know what happens, you know, in the summertime? You get the dry skin and the humidity. It just itches.

PERINO: Scratching out.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, you need a little bit of that rectal stuff too. You know that -- whatever -- I don't know what that is.

WATTERS: Rectal stuff. What do you mean?

GUTFELD: I don't know. It comes --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Preparation H.

PERINO: Preparation, I don't know. Anyway, don't eat so many spicy foods, bear. Jesse, or is it Jesse?

WATTERS: Katie saved you with the Preparation H. We know where that was going. You were thinking something else there. All right, Jessie's friendly neighborhood dispute. So, new dispute right in the neighborhood.

PERINO: Oh, great.

WATTERS: I'm walking down the street and there's a bunch of workers there doing whatever it is they do on the side of the street with their traffic cones, those orange traffic cones.

PERINO: Oh boy.

WATTERS: I tug Rookie. I turn around. Rookie has raised his leg peeing on the orange traffic cone. The worker looks at me and he goes, dude, I have to pick that cone up. What are you doing? And then the other worker recognizes me and says, that's Watters, leave him alone.

PAVLICH: No way.

WATTERS: So, the question is, will -- should you let dogs pee on traffic cones?

PAVLICH: No.

WATTERS: Yes or no, because the guys do have to touch him. But again, it's a traffic cone.

PAVLICH: No.

GUTFELD: No, they still have to touch them.

WATTERS: Let the Instagram audience decide. And watch "PRIMETIME" tonight. We have Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: And he's changed my run down multiple times. So, who knows what we're going to be talking about. And that's on at 7:00.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right, Dana.

PERINO: So, there's a big ratings race --

GUTFELD: Oh, yes.

PERINO: -- yes, on Saturday nights between Jesse Watters and Dan Bongino. And here is how it's playing out. Check it out right here. This is the race that everybody is watching for Saturday night. On your marks, get set, go. And we're gonna see who will win. Who is it? There we go. This is whipped cream that they're licking out in the floor.

OK, I think that Jesse Watters --

WATTERS: Wait, where's Judge Jeanine? She loves to eat whipped cream.

PERINO: She's not -- she's not a dog.

WATTERS: She's got a dog? OK.

PERINO: Anyway --

WATTERS: Thank you, Dana.

PERINO: I thought this was cute. I mean, that dog can really race. The other one is just enjoying it.

WATTERS: Take your time.

PAVLICH: Yes, he's taking his time.

GUTFELD: It reminds me of a few nights in the Sunset Marquis 1999.

PAVLICH: Oh, no.

WATTERS: Stop, Greg. You said too much today.

PERINO: Oh, my gosh. I didn't even think of that.

GUTFELD: That's the first thing you see. You can't un-see that, Jessica.

TARLOV: Oh, I can go.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TARLOV: I thought there was like, talk to me about reference I don't understand. OK, so it's never too late for your dreams to come true. Gwen Goldman fulfilled her 60-year-old dream of being a Bat Girl for the New York Yankees. In 1961, Goldman was just 10-years-old and wrote to the Yankees asking to be a Bat Girl. GM Ron Hamey rejected her request writing, I'm sure you can understand that it's a game dominated by men, a young lady such as yourself would feel out of place in a dugout.

That kind of thinking has no place in baseball, like no crying in baseball also. Current GM Brian Cashman to the rescue, who upon hearing about Goldman from his daughter, rectified the error. So, it was great to see her out there.

GUTFELD: Maybe he was worried about the swearing and the spitting.

TARLOV: Yes. The call was --

GUTFELD: That's probably what it was.

TARLOV: The call was longer. I had to trim it down. He was not worried about the swearing.

GUTFELD: Way to sexist shame someone who can't fight back. He's probably just worried about --

TARLOV: Maybe he can.

GUTFELD: I don't know. Maybe he can. I don't know. What do I care, really? Katie.

PAVLICH: I'm glad she fulfilled her dream. OK, it's my turn to let you know that you can celebrate the Fourth of July and exclusive Fox News gear. Shop today at shop.foxnews.com and receive 20 percent off your purchase with code Fox four -- Fox four. We have Animals Are Great collars. This is for either dog or maybe a very large cat, recommended by Greg. We have these Fox News socks. THE FIVE, most importantly, socks. And this awesome tumbler, proud American with American flag.

PERINO: And a leash.

PAVLICH: And a Fox News -- we have a leash and also a coffee mug. So, there you go.

GUTFELD: Well --

PAVLICH: Sold by the Fourth.

TARLOV: I ordered (INAUDIBLE)

GUTFELD: Some really innovative products there.

PERINO: I love the tumbler.

PAVLICH: I love the socks.

GUTFELD: I love the socks. Speaking of socks, what's up, Bret?

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