Updated

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 2, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Kimberly Guilfoyle, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters and Greg Gutfeld. It's 5:00 in New York City, and this is The Five. Talk about it all week, now the full GOP memo alleging bias in the investigation of the Trump campaign is out, and there is a lot to unpack so let's bring in chief intelligence correspondent, Catherine Herridge, to break it down for us. Catherine.

CATHERINE HERRIDGE, FOX NEWS CHIEF INTELLIGENCE CORRESPONDENT: Thanks, Dana. This -- like four-page memo first reported by Fox News makes the case that the secret national security court was kept in the dark by the FBI and Justice Department when they sought and secure a surveillance warrant for Trump campaign aide Carter Page. The memo says the court was never told the former British spy who was paid by Democrats put together the Trump dossier, that's Christopher Steele, had a personal animist towards the presidential nominee.

Quote, in September 2016, Christopher Steele admitted the Justice Department official, Bruce Ohr, his feelings against then-candidate Trump was Steele said he, quote, was desperate, that Donald Trump not get elected and was passionate about him not being president. Ohr was recently demoted over his contacts with Steele. And Glen Simpson who's opposition research firm Fusion GPS directed the Trump project.

Bank record obtained by the same house committee show Ohr's wife Nellie worked for Fusion GPS and began investigating Trump as early as May 2016. Republican investigators said the court was also never told about the dossier's political roots. Quote, none of the initial FISA application in October 2016, nor any of the renewals disclose or reference the role of the DNC, Clinton campaign, or any party campaign in funding Steele's effort even though the political origins of the Steele's dossier were then known to senior DOJ and FBI officials.

According to the memo, deputy FBI director, Andrew McCabe, who was removed earlier this week testified before the committee in December of last year that they would have never gone for a surveillance warrant if it not been for the dossier.

PERINO: Catherine, one question. So, Speaker Ryan and the White House both said today that they encouraged the Democrats to try to release their version of the memo. Do you have any idea what the timing of that might be?

HERRIDGE: Well, they've got to go through a number of processes in terms of classification. I think one of the big distinctions with the Republican staff memo is that it was deliberately drafted with the idea that it could be made public quickly, so they eliminated a lot of national security information sources, methods, anything that was sensitive. The Democrat's version is 10 pages long, but it would also be subject to an inter-agency review. So, it could take some days.

PERINO: All right. Thank you, Catherine, appreciate it.

HERRIDGE: You're welcome.

PERINO: President Trump shared his thought on the memo from the oval office today moments before it was released.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: I think it's terrible. If you want to know the truth, I think it's a disgrace. What's going on in this country, I think it's a disgrace. What's going on -- a lot of people should be ashamed of themselves and much worse than that. Let's see what happens. But a lot of people should be ashamed. Thank you very much.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: All right. We'll take it around the table starting with Kimberly, who knows a lot about the FBI process and getting a FISA warrant and all that goes in to it, your thoughts.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Yeah. There is a few things that jumped out to me right away that are sort of like the exclamation points, and what I thought was interesting is that they excluded the political origins on the sealed dossier that were known to senior DOJ and FBI officials, but they were left out and excluded from the FISA application.

And I feel that that, in of itself, is sort of glaring because it shows the motive and the intention and intent to deceive, some duplicity on their part, which I think is totally inappropriate in terms of what they were supposed to be transparent about and put forward in proper in terms of supporting documentation and what they knew. And if they knew about the political origins of it, that, in of itself, should have cast doubt on the credibility. They purposely withheld that information. So to me, that is a significant glaring factor, and probably like number one on my list.

PERINO: Juan, another part of it was that the media helped played a role in this in a way. So, apparently, Steele leaked information about the dossier to Yahoo News. Yahoo News writes the article. And then, apparently, the FBI when applying for the warrant said that there was corroboration because it was in Yahoo News, but they did made it explicit that they actually -- Steele used his own information to get into Yahoo News. What do you think of that?

JUAN WILLIAMS, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Well, I don't think much of it. I mean, to me it doesn't matter. Clearly, the FBI cut off contact with Steele once they suspected that he was leaking information. But this thing is so comical to me. I said to Greg in the greenroom, Greg your astir because this is zero. This is comical. I was thinking there's going to be something here, some element here that's really going to cause people to take a second look. Instead, you have a situation where Kimberly is talking about Steele having some political dislike for President Trump. That doesn't speak to the information in the memo. And secondly, guess what, it didn't even prompt the investigation. The investigation had started before with the news that the FBI uncovered George Papadopoulos's connection with Russian agents who are trying to win him over.

PERINO: And that is included in the memo.

WILLIAMS: Yeah. And so, I don't understand. And then secondly, don't forget that Carter Page have been under FBI scrutiny since 2013, Dana. So, again, this is not even pertinent. I mean, I don't get it. I'm struck by the number of Republicans, Republicans, who have said today -- I'm thinking of John McCain who said basically that Nunes and the Republicans here are doing Putin's work. John Kasich said it was an attack on American institutions and erodes our democracy. John Thune said we've got to get past this. This is not good. I don't get it. So President Trump said ashamed. He should be ashamed of using Nunes and the congress in this way.

PERINO: Well, Jesse, I'm assuming you think differently? Juan says he thinks it's comical, but you're not laughing.

JESSE WATTERS, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: I'm laughing at Juan's speech. It's a kill shot, Juan knows it.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: A kill shot. Wow.

WATTERS: And the reason Juan can't admit it is because to admit it he would have to admit that he's been wrong for a year. They were caught red handed in a conspiracy that the left accused the Republicans of being involved in. It involved the media. It involved Hillary operatives in foreign countries. It involved the Department of Justice and the FBI under Barack Obama. You say the FBI cut off contact with Steele after they caught him leaking? Then he backdoor through the Justice Department. And the person whose wife was working through Fusion GPS ended up being demoted, Bruce Ohr. You say this didn't prompt the investigation? You know what did prompt the investigation? Strzok, the Trump-hating, corrupt, FBI official, so what's worse? You're also saying.

WILLIAMS: Excuse me. Wait a second.

WATTERS: Yeah.

WILLIAMS: Strzok responded when Papadopoulos was found to being recruited by the Russians. And then, he was subsequently taken off in the investigation.

WATTERS: OK. So, he hates Trump. The fix was in. He cooked up the Hillary deal, and then opens up an investigation on Papadopoulos off of some conversation over in London? That's not a big deal, Juan? To me it is. You know what else is really interesting.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Someone like you is so desperate.

WATTERS: This is not desperation.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: You, guys, we've got to get Greg in here.

WATTERS: I want to say one thing to Kimberly. Juan, if James Comey is signing off on three FISA application warrants and he knows the application was based on a document -- the dossier was paid for by Hillary and was unverified and salacious. Why would we do that?

WILLIAMS: First of all, it wasn't based -- there's no indication this was the total basis for it.

WATTERS: Juan, they said if the dossier.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: McCabe said it under oath.

PERINO: Well, actually, did you not see the thing that Bret Baier said earlier that the Democrats are disputing that, but McCabe didn't say those exact words. So, who knows? Maybe when their memo come out Greg will have more information on that.

GREG GUTFELD, "THE FIVE" CO-HOST: Well, you know, the thing is -- since this whole thing started, this nerd Super Bowl.

(LAUGHTER)

GUTFELD: I said that I didn't think -- I don't have a dog in this hunt. I'm not interested in being proven correct that nothing happened here. When somebody says there's nothing to see here, that means there's something to see here because there's always something. It's clear when you look at this that there is something. And when you step back and you see this mosaic of malfeasance, when you see things like the tarmac and you see things like the servers and the text messages and the Comey statement. And then you see the political roots of this dossier and why the political roots of the dossier were covered up. Why would they do that? It stinks of Clinton.

This is all about Hillary Clinton. She -- I mean this is to help her get elected. We spent the last year and a half hearing about collusion between Donald Trump and the Russians, and all along the real collusion was committed by the perpetrator of that narrative. So you look at the media, the Democrats and their allies in government those are the people that have been colluding. They were colluding about a narrative and they were colluding before the election. If you think that's not huge, then you're probably a hack.

WILLIAMS: I'm a hack then.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: I'm a big hack. Because I remember hearing people -- you know, Fox and in the conservative echo chamber say bigger than Watergate.

GUTFELD: I didn't say that.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I didn't think it's going to be much of anything.

WILLIAMS: That's what it is.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: You guys have not raised one thing that would say to this audience, boy, this is.

WATTERS: And I'll raise it right now, Hillary paid for the surveillance of Donald Trump's campaign. They used false information to spy on Trump. They knew it was false.

WILLIAMS: What false information?

WATTERS: The dossier.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: The dossier was false because McCabe said it was false and Comey said it was false.

WILLIAMS: No.

WATTERS: But Comey said, quote, ready, salacious and unverified.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: What difference does it make who pays for it?

WATTERS: What difference does it make? OK, Mrs. Clinton.

WILLIAMS: What?

WATTERS: You've just quoted the secretary from Benghazi.

WILLIAMS: I just say, what difference does it make who pays for it if the information is.

WATTERS: Political B.S.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: FBI gets information from a guy who's like -- seedy character, but it turns out to be good information.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: We know it wasn't good information, Dana, because it's never been verified.

PERINO: I'm not saying the dossier is real. I'm just saying that that is what Juan is saying.

GUTFELD: You see the dossier you get a warrant. It's like trying to buy beer with a library card.

(LAUGHTER)

GUILFOYLE: Have you tried that?

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Can I ask you one thing, Kimberly, about the process because I am curious about this, and we don't know this from the memo. So, if Carter Page is under a FISA warrant starting in 2013. You have to go to the FISA court every 90 days in order to keep up that warrant. We don't know if there was a lapse in the warrant between 2013 and 2015. We don't know if this is a new warrant about Carter Page, right?

GUILFOYLE: So the problem is there a whole chronology issue here as well in terms of when did they get it? Is this new? At what time? And it also goes to the larger issue, as Jesse was saying, of veracity in terms of the content and the facts that are alleged there. So, if you have a question about that, you have to verify it to make sure that it was substantiated and there was some kind of initial proof or evidence to support any of this.

PERINO: Can I ask you one other thing on this legal point which is -- because I want to give you one more chance to talk since these guys talk a lot. If you're a FISA judge and you're presented information that you think was based on faulty information, like how mad would you be? What are the consequences of that?

GUILFOYLE: Furious because somebody could be held in contempt of court. Lying to the court providing false information or false affidavits. I mean, this goes to the integrity of the whole judicial process and saying that in good faith and belief that you have the information that you're relying on is truthful and to be relied on by an officer of the court in order to justify, essentially, a search.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Imagine if you're presenting to the judge. You don't say one of my pieces of evidence is an article from Yahoo News. That's actually what they're saying was one of the pieces. I don't know all of the details here. We'll find out if the Democrats are going to come out with their memo and we'll have more of the full picture. But we're going to talk about this a little-bit more. Memo fallout ahead and a programming note, Devin Nunes is going to join Bret Baier, exclusively, tonight at 6 PM Eastern for a live interview on this document he commissioned. Don't miss that. Stay with us.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Back now with more on the FISA memo fire storm. What kind of fallout will this have on the FBI and on the Department of Justice? Former FBI director James Comey took to twitter today to give his reaction. He writes, quotes, that's it? Dishonest and misleading memo wrecks the house intel committee. Destroyed trust with intelligence community. Damage relationship with the FISA court and inexcusably exposed classified investigation of an American citizen. For what? DOJ and FBI must keep doing their jobs. Jesse, how do you respond to Jim Comey?

GUTFELD: Say that was too long.

(LAUGHTER)

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: It's terrible.

GUTFELD: It's terrible.

WATTERS: And he needs to take some lessons from Trump on being not as verbose.

GUILFOYLE: Winning in twitter.

WATTERS: Yeah, winning. I think Comey has -- since he's been fired looked worse and worse and worse from the leaking of the memo to the ridiculous comments on twitter to the book now. If you at his twitter page it's all about the book release, so we know what's he's trying to do there. I want to put out a real fine point on what Kimberly said because I do think she's right. It's the crux of the issue. When they applied for these warrants they knew it was based on false pretenses that were paid for by Hillary Clinton, and they didn't disclose it to the judge.

They purposely withheld that Steele hated Trump and was connected to Fusion GPS. I also want to touch on something else. Remember for a year, the Clinton campaign denied they had anything to do with the dossier until, eventually, it came out that they did. And again, they used fake news to get the warrant. You know, they shopped the stories around, and then they tip the Newsweek or it was a Yahoo deal and they give it to the judge. So everything that the left has accused Republicans of when it comes to collusion, when it comes to pushing fake news, they themselves are guilty of.

WILLIAMS: So Kimberly, I just want to go back to the Comey memo for a second. He said it damaged the relationship between the intelligence community and the congress. And the intelligence committee, obviously, requires oversight, people appreciates transparency. But if you're in the congressional committee at this point, you're thinking to yourself, gee, I don't know if the intelligence community is going to share information with us anymore because people will use it for political attacks like this Nunes memo.

GUILFOYLE: But you're also thinking, perhaps, we would like to make sure that we could rely on the authenticity, the veracity, the truthfulness of information that is being provided to us that we are reviewing. That it isn't -- we're not being used as pawns in some kind of political chess. And so, that's a problem too because they're taking their reputation, their basing it on the information that they're provided, and if the information is suspect, lacks veracity, is false in terms of what they're offering for that is a huge problem. That's the bigger picture issue beside like -- you know, what you're saying. That's sort of a collateral issue in terms of what the court hear of the problem.

WATTERS: So Dana, the question becomes whether or not it's trustworthy information, right? And does it matter if somebody doesn't like -- if somebody likes Hillary Clinton, doesn't like, but is doing their job. Christopher Steele must Respected former British intelligence agent. And isn't it the case that there was additional material not disclosed in this memo. Obviously, the average FISA warrant is about 40 or 50 pages, the Nunes memo 4 pages. So there's much missing beyond whenever you think about the Michael Steele dossier.

PERINO: So, yes, of course. This is not the full story, which is why I think the White House -- Sarah Sanders out today to put out a statement, was done on camera. In which she said, the White House stands ready to help the Democrats with their interagency process to approve -- the release of their memo as long as it doesn't affect national security. So, we do need to see that. And the question actually becomes, should we see the underlying documents, the source documents?

The FISA applications that went in October 2016. But if that's true, then should we also see the FISA applications from 2013? And I don't know if America really need to see all of that. I think the Justice Department need to have the integrity of investigations because if you start doing this -- it will be a slippery slope for other things. I do think that Comey is unnecessarily taunting people. And it's one thing to walk away, to write a book. You'll have your say when you have the chance to write your book. You will also have a chance, probably, to talk to Bob Mueller who might be called up to congress again. And I think taunting on twitter on either side of this, especially if you're under investigation is a really, really bad idea.

WILLIAMS: Are you talking about Trump or Comey?

PERINO: Anybody. The other thing I would say is this, one of the thing that happens in Washington, in particular, or anywhere is that there is -- you want to protected yourself. There's self-preservation here. These are people's careers and livelihood. And I would not be surprised if you see additional news stories and leaks of some sort as a result of this.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Anyway. So Greg, one serious question here. Lots of thought.

GUTFELD: I was getting used to your humorous ones.

(LAUGHTER)

WILLIAMS: OK. Lots of talk today in Washington, is this then a precursor for Trump to fire Rod Rosenstein, the deputy attorney general, who approved one of these FISA request?

GUTFELD: I'm not into hypothetical questions, and I think that might have been hypothetical. I would like to focus more on Comey's tweet, the fact that his criticism was over the release of the information, not the information itself, and I think that's interesting. Comey claims he was mad that they expose classified information. I think it was more upset that it exposed the mistakes that he made depending on that dossier. And using it today you see people fretting about transparency, who didn't seem to mind when President Obama ended Chelsea Manning's prison sentence. I think that's interesting. This is the most transparent government I've ever seen. I'm learning so much, aren't you? Aren't we all learning a lot?

PERINO: And I feel like there're some holes here.

GUTFELD: No, no, no. I think this is way better than 4 years than political science at any college. Donald Trump presidency, you learn more in a year than you would in Harvard.

PERINO: It's like saying about economics.

GUTFELD: Yeah.

PERINO: It's like the national economic lesson.

WILLIAMS: I think I learned that he doesn't like this investigation and he wants it to stop.

GUTFELD: They love you, Juan.

WILLIAMS: He does? Good.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: A new crackdown on comfort animals on a seat next to you on a plane after a -- get this, peacock fiasco. That's next with Kimberly.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUILFOYLE: Traveling by air can give a lot of people anxiety, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Some people bring animals on board with them to provide comfort when they fly. But policies are changing on some big airlines. United bounced a passenger recently who showed up at the airport with a peacock for emotion support. Now the airline is tightening rules to make passenger confirm their animals are trained to behave in public and have vaccinations from a veterinarian. Now, Delta just tighten is policies on comfort pets and American is considering doing so as well. Now, I never particularly thought, Greg, that a peacock would be comforting, but there are those that do. Is there anything that would help you when you travel to relax, any animals?

GUTFELD: My comfort animal is wild turkey.

WATTERS: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

WATTERS: I will have a double.

GUTFELD: OK. Here's the lesson and we know this lesson, every time a new system is invented, there will be an accompanying effort to game it. So, when you get cable, someone will try to steal your cable. When you create a currency, there will be counterfeit currencies. So when something good happens, there're other people that will take advantage. Unfortunately, people who are gaming the system, who are bringing these animals on just to bring them on so they don't have to pay for shipping them or whatever, they're actually hurting the real patients like veterans with PTSD because-- when somebody games the system, it makes you suspicious of everybody else. For example, if somebody is abusing drugs recreationally, then the patients who want to get that drug are also under scrutiny by the doctors. If you happen to actually need opioids, people are going to think you're abusing opioids because it is such a big deal. So this is what happens. Now when you see people with a pet you're going, I don't believe it. Peacock, please.

PERINO: Like, what's your problem?

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. But there're people with real problems.

GUILFOYLE: Real problems.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: Not like pretend little problems. OK. So Dana.

GUTFELD: That's me.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, I think you're doing better, actually.

GUTFELD: Oh, good.

GUILFOYLE: As long as you get there like 3 hours ahead of time.

PERINO: I have an experience with this on a plane where a woman brought a parrot with her on the plane, and she was sitting in the row ahead of me. It was like a 3-hour flight. And she talked baby talk to this bird the entire flight and it was super annoying. This is before Wi-Fi and stuff so you could, you know, distract yourself.

GUILFOYLE: Right. So OK --

GUTFELD: Was it a baby bird?

GUILFOYLE: A follow-up question. So would you ever consider making Jasper a comfort animal?

PERINO: Well, I would, except for Jasper's so famous, and I would be that person who ruins it for everybody else. Right? I would be -- I don't need an emotional support dog when I go on a flight.

WATTERS: But you've looked into it?

PERINO: I did not look into it, because I would -- no, because I would end up on the front -- I would end up disgraced and --

GUTFELD: "My dog is too famous to be a therapy pet."

PERINO: That's true.

GUILFOYLE: America's comfort dog. Keep up with the themes here.

GUTFELD: "My dog is too famous. I don't know what to do."

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my goodness. Good voice-over.

Hey, Jesse, did you find in your, you know, experience with the llamas, was that comforting to you?

WATTERS: No, that was terrifying. And we had a person with an emotional support squirrel on "Watters' World," except the squirrel felt asleep, and he didn't want to wake it up, so that bombed.

We tried to book the woman with the bird and she denied me, so I'm a little angry at her.

I just want to talk about the memo, actually. I mean, this whole FISA application, they didn't --

GUILFOYLE: Kill shot.

WATTERS: No, seriously. Can we get back to the memo?

WILLIAMS: By the way, I was much more interested in Bullwinkle flying with Rocket J. Squirrel when he was there. I was fascinated by that.

I don't get this, but it seems to me an era of indulgence. I think Greg often talks about people have nothing better to do, so we live in this very highly-entitled, you know, happy, comfortable society; and we make a big deal out of this.

Now, I'll tell you from experience, what's interesting is this is protected under the Fair Housing Act. Who knew?

GUTFELD: Wow.

WILLIAMS: Why would that be? I don't know.

GUTFELD: That's worthy of a "guess what?" and you didn't even use it.

WILLIAMS: I didn't. I should have used it. I should have used it.

PERINO: One in the bank.

WILLIAMS: Yes, but they want to protect people who actually need assistance animals.

GUTFELD: True.

WILLIAMS: You know, for people who --

GUTFELD: Blind people or people with PTSD. There are people that need this.

PERINO: How do you come up with a peacock, though? Like what -- I love a peacock. They're great. They're beautiful, majestic birds. But, like, what makes you think they're emotional --

GUTFELD: Show-offs.

PERINO: How do you cuddle up with a peacock?

GUTFELD: Peacocks are -- they're a show off. The bird -- the whole thing is about status. It carries that around, to tell its mates that it is so powerful that it can carry this burden of feathers, so you should have sex with me. That's what a peacock is.

GUILFOYLE: OK. I -- we --

GUTFELD: That's the whole point of the feathers.

GUILFOYLE: Seven point five seconds.

GUTFELD: It's to say -- it's like if you carried a piano around.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: If you carried a piano around, people -- women would go, "Oh, wow, he's so strong." That's the whole point of the feathers.

WILLIAMS: Oh, I see.

WATTERS: Like when guys wear their collar up with their T- shirt?

WILLIAMS: Who would that be?

WATTERS: I don't know.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, I think -- like you.

I think that was evidence of the neurological condition when you got hit in the head, and we're going to chalk it up to that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: All right. Stay with us. We wish you would. As "The Five" gears up for Super Bowl Sunday. It's coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: Forty-eight hours away from the Super Bowl. My Eagles are in it. That's me at the NFC championship game when they defeated the Vikings.

Why is Greg laughing?

I can feel it. They're going to win.

More than 100 million people are expected to watch --

PERINO: Wow.

WATTERS: -- but according to a new poll, 16 percent of NFL fans said they won't even tune in this year. No data on why, but 46 percent said they disapproved of this year's national anthem protests.

Meanwhile, some people think the Monday after the Super Bowl should be declared a national holiday so everybody can sleep in and recover from their hangovers. A majority of H.R. managers are even in agreement with that.

Gutfeld, I know you probably do this segment every year.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Do you agree with the -- ?

GUTFELD: You can't -- if a hangover keeps you from work --

WATTERS: Then I'd never --

GUTFELD: -- you don't deserve to drink.

I don't want to -- or work. I don't want to tell you how many times I've sat at this table wondering where the hell I am.

You know what? My favorite thing about the Super Bowl are the ads, of course.

WATTERS: Oh, come on.

GUTFELD: I can't wait for the My Pillow ad.

GUILFOYLE: Oh, my God.

GUTFELD: I can't wait for the Cars -- what are the Cars for Kids going to do?

WATTERS: Don't do that.

GUTFELD: That's going to be incredible. And of course, William Devane, who is my spirit animal.

WATTERS: I don't think Devane could afford the cost of the Super Bowl ad.

GUTFELD: Yes, he can. Haven't you seen his farm?

WATTERS: No.

GUTFELD: That tree?

WATTERS: He took you to the far?

GUTFELD: "Look at my tree."

Have you ever seen the commercials?

WATTERS: That wasn't a tree.

Dana --

PERINO: Yes.

WATTERS: -- tell me your thoughts on the keys to the game?

PERINO: Well, you have to score more points than the other side.

WATTERS: Very good. Juan.

PERINO: I know more than you think.

WATTERS: Really?

PERINO: That's all I get.

WATTERS: I'm not sure about that.

So do you think they should be -- you should take off on Monday, a national holiday?

PERINO: Absolutely not.

WATTERS: No?

PERINO: No.

WATTERS: So you want to work five days a week instead of four? That's why you're Dana Perino.

You're just such a goody two shoes. You want to show up every day.

PERINO: Ask Kimberly.

WATTERS: Kimberly --

GUILFOYLE: It's correct.

WATTERS: Do you want to go to work on Monday?

GUILFOYLE: Why wouldn't I?

WATTERS: Am I the only one that wants the day off?

GUILFOYLE: We don't like to take days off.

PERINO: No, we like to work.

GUILFOYLE: -- and to work. Why would --

PERINO: Why is that? There's something about having perfect attendance that makes you feel really good.

GUILFOYLE: It's amazing.

WATTERS: Oh, my gosh.

GUTFELD: And you like to brag about it. It's like bragging, "I only sleep four hours a night, and I've never missed -- had a sick day." Yes. Anyway.

WATTERS: Who's done that?

WATTERS: Juan.

WATTERS: The president?

Juan, what do you think?

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, it's interesting to me is what they counter program on other channels. And it looks to me that that 16 percent may be undersold, because there's always, like, Hallmark Channel movies. And I think lots of women, if they can watch, they watch.

Now I think --

GUTFELD: Dean Cain Sunday.

WILLIAMS: And I think there are lots of guys who aren't particularly big into the football thing, and they want to see -- so I think ESPN does bowling championships. And you're thinking, who's going to watch that? Turns out it does pretty well.

WATTERS: That's true, yes.

GUTFELD: And there's FOX News.

WILLIAMS: Yes. That's right.

GUTFELD: Has their own --

PERINO: We're on the memo.

GUTFELD: That's our Super Bowl.

WATTERS: DVR the Super Bowl. Watch breaking news about the memo.

Let's just go around quickly. Who's going to win? Patriots or Eagles?

GUILFOYLE: Patriots.

WATTERS: God. Kimberly!

GUILFOYLE: I'm sorry!

WATTERS: I'm telling you.

GUILFOYLE: You know why? Because if you do an analysis of quarterbacks, and like, Brady always comes from behind. He's great on third down conversions. Even if it's, like third and twenty-fifth, the guy's --

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: I'm just telling you.

WATTERS: Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, Vegas says the Patriots, but my heart says the Eagles.

WATTERS: There you go. Juan and I actually agree on something.

WILLIAMS: Way to go.

WATTERS: All right.

PERINO: It's my "One More Thing." So I'll have to hold it.

WATTERS: OK. Greg.

GUTFELD: I don't care. I honestly have not thought a single thing about the Super Bowl.

PERINO: Well, what are you going to eat?

GUTFELD: What am I going to eat? I don't know. I'll probably be sleeping. I'll probably be sleeping. I'm sleeping the whole weekend.

WATTERS: All right. Well, don't fall sleep now. "Facebook Friday," up next.

GUILFOYLE: Why are you -- ?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE (singing): Alka Seltzer. Plop-plop, fizz-fizz, oh, what a relief it is.

(END AUDIO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It was a relief.

GUILFOYLE: Eww.

GUTFELD: "Facebook Friday," America. Let's begin. A great question, from Mary Ellen Z.: "In honor of Groundhog Day what one day in your life would you like to relive?" We'll go this way. Dana.

PERINO: The one that comes to mind is when Peter and I lived in England, and we went to Scotland to pick up Henry, our first puppy. That was a good day.

GUTFELD: I knew it was going to be a dog.

Jesse, is yours dog-oriented?

WATTERS: No, it's not. I would like to relive Sunday, this coming Sunday, when the Eagles win the Super Bowl.

GUTFELD: You're -- you're going to -- you're reliving a day in the future, which is kind of interesting.

WATTERS: That just blew your mind.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUILFOYLE: I'd say it's optimistic.

WATTERS: It is.

GUTFELD: Juan.

WILLIAMS: You know, it's like -- I mean, I can do things like remember when I had a book coming out. It got great reviews. And the publisher agreed to let my mother drive with me out to where the book was coming off the press.

GUTFELD: That's fun.

WILLIAMS: And it was an amazing experience. And so now I was thinking about it. You know, it was such a great time. Because I was in the car with my mom, which is unusual. And we had a long ride. And you get there, and the people were just so gracious. They said, "Oh, you know, you're the author of this book."

GUTFELD: That's nice.

WILLIAMS: What a moment in life.

GUTFELD: That's a good thing.

Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: You know what was a fun day? I mean, there were a lot, but I would say that day that I found out, like, I passed the bar exam. It was fun, because I thought of all the exciting things I could do with my legal career and become a prosecutor. And I wanted to, like, fight for, you know--

WATTERS: Justice.

GUILFOYLE: And for victims' rights.

WATTERS: Yes.

GUTFELD: I don't know. I would go back to last week, Monday at 5 to 5 p.m. And instead of walking towards the door at 4:55, I would wait approximately 10 seconds. And then I would not have this raging headache for the last 10 days that is making my head want to explode.

GUILFOYLE: You should have probably stopped for another little snack of crackers.

GUTFELD: Exactly. No, I wanted to fix my tie. If I hadn't fixed my tie -- I'd relieve that day.

PERINO: Stop wearing ties.

GUTFELD: It's too late now!

PERINO: Well, when you go back to relive that day.

GUTFELD: Yes. When I go back to relive that day, no ties. And I won't listen to Jack, who told me my tie was crooked. That's what -- in the studio -- I was in the studio, and Jack goes, "Your tie is crooked." So I turn around and go out. And then I come in, I get hit in the face with the door. And I've never been the same.

All right. Gloria G.: "What is the one food you absolutely refuse -- refuse to eat?" And a little joke there: "Greg Gutfeld, honest not silly answer like unicorn."

All right, Kimberly, what do you refuse to eat?

GUILFOYLE: I know people are going to object to this. But I'm really not a big fan of beets.

GUTFELD: Beets.

WATTERS: I like beets.

GUTFELD: No Super Beets?

GUILFOYLE: Yes.

WATTERS: Do they advertise?

WILLIAMS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Have you ever had borscht, beet soup?

GUILFOYLE: Obviously not, because I don't like beets.

GUTFELD: It's amazing with sour cream on top.

GUILFOYLE: I don't like beets, and I don't -- I'm not, like, a big fan of onions. I know if they're cooked and they're in there, you kind of --

PERINO: She picks them off of her hamburger from McDonald's.

GUILFOYLE: I know. Right? See?

GUTFELD: Interesting. Remember that McDonald's would never allow a special order. So it would take hours. They'd have to cook the whole thing. That's another topic. Juan.

WILLIAMS: Well, I don't like cauliflower at all.

PERINO: Why?

WILLIAMS: And also, but I had a recent change, because I used to not like Brussels sprouts. But now people present them, and they're, like, stir- fried and crispy.

GUTFELD: Yes. They try to cover the smell of sewage.

PERINO: With bacon.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Also, as a kid I didn't like broccoli.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But I think George -- is it George W. Bush?

PERINO: H.

WILLIAMS: George H.W., yes. He liked them.

PERINO: And he caused a whole scene.

WILLIAMS: He did. That's what I'm recalling.

GUTFELD: All right, Jesse. Anything you refuse to eat? I've seen you eat everything.

WATTERS: There's not a lot that I won't eat.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: I tried to impress a date one time at a nice restaurant and ordered sweet breads. And then I was told in the middle of what I was eating what they were, which are glands.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: And I had a panic attack and had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom.

GUILFOYLE: Did you throw up?

WATTERS: Almost.

GUTFELD: Glands.

PERINO: Raw fish.

GUTFELD: Yes?

PERINO: Will never do it, never.

WILLIAMS: Sushi?

PERINO: No, I don't eat fish at all. I try once in a while.

WATTERS: I'll bring that into the greenroom on Monday.

GUTFELD: I don't eat -- I do not eat any seafood whatsoever. It comes from the earth's toilet. That's what the ocean is, the earth's toilet!

PERINO: No.

WATTERS: You swim in the ocean?

GUTFELD: Not when I can. I don't mind a good lake. Swimming pool. But the ocean, come on. It's dirty in there.

PERINO: OK.

GUTFELD: I once ate a puffin in Iceland. A puffin, you know, those adorable birds.

WATTERS: Isn't that an endangered species?

GUTFELD: Yes. It tastes like shoelaces.

Yes, OK. This is good. From Linda N. I'll go with you, Juan. "What book has -- "

PERINO: Yes, not -- don't ask Jesse.

GUTFELD: " -- left a lasting impression on your life, not just your career?" You can say any of my books, Juan.

WILLIAMS: OK.

Well, Greg's books really made an impression. I would guess, you know, "Invisible Man."

GUTFELD: Not the science fiction one, the Ellison one?

WILLIAMS: The Ralph Ellison one.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: But then there are things like "The Chosen," Chaim Potok's book, which I think is about a kid growing up in Brooklyn. That made a big impression on me.

And you know, this is silly, but it's true: Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Sure.

WILLIAMS: I loved those books.

GUTFELD: Yes. What about you, Jesse?

WATTERS: Besides the "Killing" series, Greg? I'm going to go with my old standby, "The Hobbit." You know, can't go wrong with "The Hobbit." JRR Tolkien. Great book. Great series.

GUTFELD: All right. Dana. Book?

PERINO: I would say "A Wrinkle in Time."

WATTERS: Who did that?

PERINO: Madeleine L'Engle. Lengel? Lengal?

GUTFELD: I don't know. Remember "The Little House on the Prairie"?

PERINO: I liked those books, too.

GUTFELD: The Ingalls Wilder books.

PERINO: Those were good. And "Charlotte's Web" was great.

GUTFELD: I'm going to guess Nancy Drew for you, Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: That's my favorite?

GUTFELD: Had a lasting impression.

GUILFOYLE: Nancy Drew I definitely loved. But also "Little House on the Prairie," the whole series.

GUTFELD: I was going to -- I liked Pamela Sue Martin.

WATTERS: Don't know who that is.

GUTFELD: The Nancy Drew show that was on after "The Hardy Boys." People at home are going, "I remember."

GUILFOYLE: He's a -- you know.

WATTERS: A millennial.

GUTFELD: The best book? I would have to say "Envy" by Helmut Schoek.
Look it up.

"One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time now for "One More Thing" -- Kimberly.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. Thank you so much. You'll like this thing.

A new class of K-9 bomb-sniffing cops graduated today from the NCA Police Department in New York City. Thirteen teams completed an intense 12-week explosive training program, and the dogs were trained to investigate suspicious packages, and each dog got their own shield for their reward.

In a touching tribute, each of the dog are named after a fallen police officer, firefighter or soldier to honor those that served us and fallen in the line of duty. I think this was beautifully done.

PERINO: You're right. That gave me goose bumps.

GUILFOYLE: And they do so much in terms of, you know, law enforcement.

PERINO: Keeping us safe.

GUILFOYLE: Yes. God bless.

PERINO: Best thing you can find is dogs.

Greg.

GUTFELD: All right. Saturday, February 3, that's tomorrow, 10 p.m. Boy, do we have a show for you. We've got Johnny Joey Jones. You've got comedian David Angelo. We've got Kat Timpf, Tyrus. We are going to blow the roof off that night. Keep watching.

All right. Time for --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GRAPHIC: Greg's On This Day in History.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: "Greg's On This Day in History." All right. February 2, 2014, New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio, a.k.a, Lurchface, dropped a groundhog named Charlotte at the Staten Island Zoo's annual Groundhog Day ceremony. The poor creature died several days later after being dropped.

Now, the zoo says the drop was maybe unrelated to the death, but he's not attending this year's ceremony, the mayor, because he's a murderer! He's a murderer! He's a murderer!

PERINO: Thank you, Greg.

WATTERS: Are we allowed to say that?

GUILFOYLE: That's kind of a little weird.

PERINO: I'm going to lighten it up a little bit. Last night on "Jeopardy," I happened to be seeing it, it was clear the contestants did not know anything about the Super Bowl or football. Watch this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Football, 400.

ALEX TREBEK, "JEOPARDY" HOST: I can tell you guys are big football fans. Tom Landry perfected the shotgun formation with this team.

(BUZZER)

TREBEK: The Dallas Cowboys.

Do you think we should go to commercial?

Let's look at the $1,000 clue just for the fun of it.

If you guys ring in and get this one, I will die!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: Well, they did not get any of them. And I told Jesse that I would give you my prediction. So I think this is your first time being a part of Dana's mascot theory. I base my theory on who's going to win --

WATTERS: Uh-oh.

PERINO: -- based on their mascots. But I think you might like this.

WATTERS: OK.

PERINO: I have determined, based on the mascot, that the Philadelphia Eagles will beat the New England Patriots.

The Eagles were on the brink of extinction until a couple of years ago, making them the Comeback Kid.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: Just like Philadelphia. And the eagles are master huntsmen and a potent symbol of power, and that's why they represent countless nations like America the beautiful.

WATTERS: I love it.

PERINO: There you go.

WATTERS: Take it to the bank.

WILLIAMS: Don't Patriots have guns?

WATTERS: Juan, don't ruin it.

PERINO: Juan, go.

WILLIAMS: All right. So when I was a young reporter in D.C. covering the courts, I remember seeing a defendant get in a bloody fight with court officers.

Well, all of that came flashing back to me today when Randall Margraves, the 58-year-old father of three gymnasts who had been assaulted by Dr. Larry Nassar stood up in court and brought some major drama after being denied a minute alone with Nassar. Watch this.

RANDALL HARGRAVES, FATHER OF THREE GYMNASTS ASSAULTED BY NASSAR: Could you give me one minute?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: You know that I can't do that. That's not how I would --

(HARGRAVES STRUGGLES WITH COURT OFFICERS)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, John Grisham wrote a book called "A Time to Kill." And to my mind, I guess that's what this dad had on his mind. It would have been on my mind.

PERINO: Indeed.

Jesse.

WATTERS: Well, we tried to book the therapy peacock and was denied. So I had to settle for Donald Trump Jr., and we talked about -- you guessed it -- the memo.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP JR., SON OF DONALD TRUMP: There is a little bit of sweet revenge in it for me and certainly, probably, the family, in the sense that, if they wouldn't have done this, this stuff would be going on.

WATTERS: You're right.

TRUMP: This would be going on at the highest levels of government. They'd be continuing to do it to my father, trying to undermine his actions. Imagine how effective he can be, given the year he's had, without this cloud over his head.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: I raked this guy over the coals so hard, he had nowhere to turn.

GUTFELD: Another hard-hitting interview.

WATTERS: The most hard-hitting interview you're ever going to see. It's a different side of Don Jr. you probably haven't seen before. So tune in, 8 p.m. on Saturday night. And then watch Greg Gutfeld.

GUTFELD: Yes. And don't forget the Judge in between.

WATTERS: There you go.

GUTFELD: Yes, can't forget that.

PERINO: Kimberly, what do you -- do you have Super Bowl plans?

GUILFOYLE: Not yet. Except I know that I'm going to be having some chicken wings.

PERINO: Excellent. Remember, usually, there's a chicken wing shortage. There's not one this year.

GUTFELD: Yay, Trump. Everybody is getting chicken wing bonuses.

WILLIAMS: Chicken wing bonuses?

PERINO: Right before we started, Best Buy has announced they're giving everyone bonuses.

WATTERS: Crumbs you mean, Dana. You mean crumbs.

PERINO: I mean bonuses. I mean bonuses, I certainly do.

Juan, where are you going to watch the Super Bowl?

WILLIAMS: It's my son-in-law's birthday and the Super Bowl, so we're having a party at our house.

PERINO: So can we bet that you're going to have pictures of the family on Monday for "One More Thing"?

WILLIAMS: I hadn't thought of it.

WATTERS: Thanks a lot, Dana.

PERINO: All right. Have a great weekend, everyone. "Special Report" is up next. Bret has a special interview tonight. Over to you.

END

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