Joe Biden accuses Elizabeth Warren of 'elitism'

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Joe Biden accuses Elizabeth Warren of 'elitism'

Biden slams Democratic presidential rival Elizabeth Warren for Warren's claim that Biden was running in the wrong presidential primary; reaction on 'The Five.'

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 6, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST & POLITICAL ANALYST: Hello, everyone. I'm Juan Williams along with Kennedy, Jesse Watters, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld. It's five o'clock in New York City. This is “The Five.”

Brand-new developments in that brutal massacre in Mexico. A suspect has been arrested in connection to the slaughter of nine American by a Mexican drug cartel. The suspect had two hostages bound and gagged as well as an assault rifle and several assault rifles and bullet proof SUV.

We are also learning more about how this could have happened. Mexican officials say the gunmen may have mistaken the group's vehicles for those of a rival gang. But a relative of the victims say they may have been deliberately targeted.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

LAFE LANGFORD, RELATED TO VICTIMS KILLED IN MEXICO: The vehicles that had left our community were, we believe they may have been used as bait to try to attract the cartel in Sonora to them to bring the war to them.

She came around a corner and they just, I mean, they just unleashed hell on this vehicle. They came up to the vehicle, shot more shots, searched, you know, rated the vehicle, and then incinerated it, set it ablaze, and burned everybody alive.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: While President Trump says it's time to wage war over the killings, Mexico's president is being criticized for his response. He's standing by government's policy of using, quote, "hugs, not bullets" when fighting these cartels.

Senator Tom Cotton of Arkansas, calling out Mexico for not doing more.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. TOM COTTON, R-ARK.: President Lopez's overdoors policy of hugs, not bullets.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Right.

COTTON: I mean, that may be nice for a children's fairy tale, but in the real world when the bad guys and cartels had 50 caliber machine guns the only answer is more bullets and bigger bullets. And if Mexico can't protect American citizens in Mexico, then we may have to take matters into our own hands.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: So, Dana, this is sort of we don't know exactly what happened, but what appears to have happened now, according to authorities is that you had one drug cartel from Juarez going to Sonora County, right, and then set up on a hill, sort of an outpost on a hill. And apparently, go after these people because they wanted to attract the opposition cartel to come in and fight.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Like using them as bait for that.

WILLIAMS: Yes.

PERINO: So, yes. Although I have to say, maybe that's all true. I think that the United States should ask for its own people to be there to do an investigation because I'm not sure that I would trust everything that the Mexican government is going to say about this, because clearly already they are saying to the president of the United States, we have -- we are good here. We don't need your help. We've got a handle on all of this. But clearly, they don't have a handle on the cartels.

WILLIAMS: Right. But they did capture a suspect.

PERINO: They captured a -- OK. But again, I would love for that subject to be questioned by an American interrogator. And it could be that there are Americans actually there to do that.

I go back to this idea though of what then can we do aside from going in and dealing with the cartels ourselves? But it's not like you can just take out one cartel and then the problem is over. This is a deeply entrenched problem all across Mexico.

You have 90 homicides a day. Imagine that in America, like imagine if you had 90 homicides a day, what would happen in this country. It never happened in this country.

So if I were the Mexicans, I would take the president up on his offer of cooperation, it doesn't necessarily have to be made aid in terms of bullets. Maybe it is another way to help them with their governance or something, but to turn a blind eye to the United States being really frustrated on this problem, I think would leads the Mexicans down a really bad path.

I would take action as a Congress and as the president of the United States to designate the cartels as a terrorist organization. I think there is ample proof of that from the violence as well as the activities that they participate in. A $150 billion of illegal drugs coming into the country.

Now whether we legalize drugs, maybe we will do that in the future, but it's not going to happen anytime soon. So, I think that designating them as a terrorist organization right now, I think the president has a lot more tools to deal with it, it's the right thing to do.

WILLIAMS: Jesse, the issue of sovereignty does occur if you listen to what Dana was saying. Because people say well, the drug cartel activity actually crosses the border. There's a lot of drug activity and drug violence here in the United States that we have to contend with. So, how do you just go into another country and say you know what? We are coming in?

JESSE WATTERS, HOST: Now we do that all the time, Juan.

WILLIAMS: OK.

WATTERS: Look at American history it's what we do. You look at this guy who runs Mexico. Hugs, not bullets? It's like code pink is running the show down there. I mean, is he bought off by the cartel? I mean, that's the exact thing that the cartel wants the Mexican president to say.

PERINO: Right.

WATTERS: Hugs, not bullets. Something really disgraceful is going on down there, and they are on thin ice. Because how many dead American are you going to tolerate. If this happens again and it happens again you could see Republican senators calling for armed action inside of Mexico.

And I agree with Dana. You label them narco terrorists. You declare war not on drugs, because that's not popular.

PERINO: Right.

WATTERS: The political winner is war on cartels. Designate them narco terrorist that gives the president enhanced power to fight the violence of trafficking and the smuggling. Because this cartel is so deeply rooted in this are you need like a counterinsurgency to then take them out.

And I don't really know if this is just about drugs. Because it's also about smuggling and sovereignty. You said the guy we had on just now said that this was about one cartel fighting for a smuggling root against another cartel.

That means that a wall on the southern border, Juan, in strategic locations will work. Because not all the drugs come through port of entry. They are talking about smuggling roots and not just drugs. They're talking about people.

(CROSSTALK)

KENNEDY MONTGOMERY, FOX BUSINESS HOST: But they're talking about something roots from one part of Mexico to another. I mean, that's what this particular --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Right. But just south in Arizona that's where a lot of the drugs pour into, because it's so hilly and mountainous. You need walls in strategic locations. And right now, the only people who don't want walls, Democrats and the cartels.

WILLIAMS: All right. But then yesterday you were saying you thought the war on drugs not necessarily a winner.

WATTERS: I don't think that's a winner.

WILLIAMS: Right.

WATTERS: And this is and if you do go in hard, it's going to send the price of drugs skyrocketing. Greg, I mean, Greg can only afford so much. You know?

WILLIAMS: Is that right?

WATTERS: This guy, I mean, he needs help.

WILLIAMS: All right so, Greg.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Where you come out on this? Because I think you also think, war on drugs, you know, what's the point here?

GUTFELD: Well, I mean, the blood lust is caused by drug lust. Right?

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: What the cartels don't do is they don't sell pot. The reason why they don't sell anymore pot is because the U.S. competition killed the market. It used to be that pot for decades was going in one direction, north from -- north from Mexico to the United States.

Now, the retail quality of pot from the United States is going south and pot seizures is coming north has dropped by 75 percent. So, legalization killed the pot market for Mexico.

I don't think you should legalize something to kill a cartel, but there is something in there that saying that cause and effect. That if you make something legal you regulated. You have an industry. You get rid of the criminal element and that's what happens.

Right now, they're just, I think they are basically dealing in Fentanyl and heroin, and probably, cocs so you could do a couple of things. One, you could kill them off like terrorists, but unlike ISIS, they make stuff we want.

So, we are killing people who are essentially -- who are essentially providing something for us. With Jesse's point, number two, you could toughen the border, and you should toughen the border and that includes everything including the wall.

You can talk about decriminalization, which I think is important. Watch the drug cartels implode. But here's something that you can't do. You can't stop small religious sects from moving to a violent wasteland. You -- it puts your family and your children into harm's way. OK?

You can advise them that this is not a good idea, that this is nuts.

PERINO: Yes.

GUTFELD: But they still were there. And if, you know, is this our battle? I'm not so sure this is our battle. If you're willing, you know, if you are willing to stop -- if you aren't willing to stop me from doing drugs after the show, why would you expect someone else to?

MONTGOMERY: Well, why would you expect that just targeting the supply is going to affect demand at all?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: And that's the one thing that we haven't talked about --

GUTFELD: Right.

MONTGOMERY: -- in terms of that. And so, this is the manifestation of the black market which has now reached every corridor of power in Mexico and Central America.

PERINO: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: And that's why we have the immigration issues that we have, because these governments have been decimated by people who just want to make money and they have to be the ones who control the market utterly.

And Pablo Escobar loved the idea of legal cocaine in Colombia, because then he could sell it to anyone.

GUTFELD: Right.

MONTGOMERY: But there is a difference if drugs are legal in the United States, because then they no longer have control over supply and demand. Do I think people should be doing drugs? I do not. I wish fewer people did drugs. But the point is they are going to. There's an appetite. We punish people and throw them in prison for making consensual transactions.

Maybe we need to rethink that aspect of it and to your point, we need to talk about practically how do you get from here, which is thousands and thousands of murders to there, which is knocking off the cartels by destroying their marketplace?

WILLIAMS: Just quickly, Greg, you would not advise, this was an offshoot of the Mormons that had moved into this county. You would say don't go?

GUTFELD: Yes, absolutely.

WATTERS: Go at your own risk.

GUTFELD: Yes, absolutely.

WILLIAMS: All right. Big developments in the impeachment investigation.

MONTGOMERY: Totally (Ph) believe.

WILLIAMS: Public hearings set for next week. The latest when “The Five” comes right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS: The Democrats taking their impeachment probe public. Shifty Schiff announcing Congress will hold open hearings next week, finally. It comes after he dump in the transcript from the testimony of top diplomat in Ukraine, Bill Taylor. Schiff claiming this new phase of the investigation will damage the president.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. ADAM SCHIFF, D-CALIF.: Those open hearings will be an opportunity for the American people to evaluate the witnesses for themselves, to make their own determinations about the credibility of the witnesses, but also learn firsthand about the facts of the president's misconduct.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: OK, Juan, I know you love polls, so I brought a poll for you.

WILLIAMS: Thank you.

WATTERS: This is Morning Consult, very accurate.

WILLIAMS: Yes.

WATTERS: And it says support from impeachment falls as inquiry moves to a new phase. And people don't approve of the Democrat's handling of impeachment.

WILLIAMS: Yes.

WATTERS: Your thoughts.

WILLIAMS: Well, I haven't seen that one, but I heard about it. And of course, you've got to put in a context which is that it's been in the last two months continual rise in support has largely plateaued at this juncture as we go towards the public phase of this hearing.

WATTERS: OK.

WILLIAMS: I think that the question about Bill Taylor is interesting, because Taylor is a West Point grad, a veteran, someone who is selected, almost handpicked by Secretary of State Pompeo to serve in the Trump administration.

So efforts to undermine him, to say, you know what, he is a never-Trumper. He's a bad guy. I think it's very difficult. And so, therefore, his testimony is going to have impact.

And then I think the secondary argument on this one, Jesse, is but he wasn't on the call. But then you hear from others who were on the call, and you have others saying pretty much the same thing.

WATTERS: OK.

WILLIAMS: So, it's just like the attack on the whistleblower --

WATTERS: Yes.

WILLIAMS: -- which has been going on. And of course, all of the whistleblowers said been corroborated.

WATTERS: Right.

WILLIAMS: But Trump and his guys are saying, what about the whistleblower? Like it's distraction personal attacks --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Kennedy, I feel like the Democrats had the American people's attention for a second and they totally lost it. And now no one cares about this Taylor, Volker, Sondland. That's not breaking through.

MONTGOMERY: It's not, because you don't have the big thing yet. And if you have a bunch of little things, people lose track of names, they lose track of conversations, they lose track of timelines. And that is the fault of the Democrats who have stretched this out in the wrong way.

And they really should have waited until there was this formal impeachment inquiry resolution so we can have all of this in the open. But the problem is, a lot of these people have already testified and so their statements are known quantity. So now all you're going to have are Republicans and Democrats acting like show ponies just trying to out just hands each other, to play got you with the various witnesses.

And I don't think we've gotten there yet. You know what it reminds me of in terms of polls? Medicare for all. Because if you ask people, should we ensure everybody?

WATTERS: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: They go, absolutely we should. We should insure everybody. And it's the same thing. If the president did something bad, should he be impeached? Absolutely he should be impeached and he should be removed. If he did something bad, if he did something bad is the part where you have to pay for it.

No one wants to pay for Medicare for all and no one has been shown that what he has done so far is absolutely 100 percent impeachable and that has to --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: Bribery, not a problem?

MONTGOMERY: I'm not saying that.

WATTERS: Bribery. I don't think we are talking about that, Juan.

MONTGOMERY: Juan, I think that Rudy Giuliani has gone rouge, and I think - -

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: OK. I'm just saying, there's a lot here.

MONTGOMERY: There's a lot there.

WATTERS: Let's get Greg in. Greg, if you are doing all of this stuff in shifty Schiff's creepy little dark basement into the capitol, I think Americans were focused for a second. Then they started thinking about football and what's going on this weekend. I think it's over now.

GUTFELD: I love these open hearings, because it's an opportunity as Schiff has said to see how petty the Democrats are and what thin gruel they're playing with.

The media has replaced the Ukraine, replaced Russia with Ukraine. Yet the public isn't keen on it anymore. If you look at the left-wing media, they aren't getting that same bump that they got from the Russia stuff. And it's because it's like they are getting back together with someone who cheated on them.

That's the Ukraine field. Because they got burned on Russia. Russia, they put all their hearts into Russia and it fell apart, they can't do it again with Ukraine. Because they are now beginning to see that this is a fable based on opinions, based on other opinions.

It's all about if, right? The concerned angle in which you are concerned about something that might happen but doesn't or hasn't. It's like if Donald Trump -- it goes back to one sense. If Donald Trump shot somebody on Fifth Avenue, would he get away with it? That has never happened.

But that question informs the strategy, what I would call the concerned strategy, where they try to avoid the concrete achievements of Trump and replace it with hypothetical hysterics. Like, what if he does this? What if he lied? What if this was this?

And also, the media wants the public to think that quid pro quo is like the plague. Actually, it's the engine of life and commerce. Whether it's sales, whether it's a politician, whether you're at, whether you got a hotdog vendor, you give me x, I'll give you y. Put some mustard on the x, please. It's part of job -- part of Trump's job to shape foreign policy based on what he feels.

WILLIAMS: Come on.

GUTFELD: He feels that he makes. No crime there.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: You know, I just want to quickly said, Greg. Hey, Greg.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: This is like Senator Graham yesterday saying it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I'm not reading the transcript.

MONTGOMERY: I thought that was Hillary Clinton and the Benghazi hearing.

WATTERS: No. I'm talking about -- there you go.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: I think he speaks for a lot of Americans when he says that.

Dana, Greg mentioned the strategy of the Democrats. The strategy of the Republicans I think the president could use some warriors in the morning to wake up, put the war paint on, and then fight this impeachment. The messaging, the tactics, the strategy.

PERINO: Well, one of the things --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Because right now, it's just a leak, leak, leak.

PERINO: Well, one of the ways that they could do though, is to have effective cross-examination during the public hearings. OK? Because if you read the transcript, it's like, it's not that great --

WATTERS: Right.

PERINO: -- from that perspective. So, he has to be super prepared. I was reminded by Karl Rove about Adam Schiff back in 2008. He was the new chairman. He was going to be investigating Karl Rove and they were going to get a scalp, a political scalp. And Conyers (Ph) was quoted saying they were going to get his a-s-s.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: What? We got to go a break.

PERINO: That's what they say.

WILLIAMS: No.

GUTFELD: Shannon Bream didn't spell it out.

PERINO: And they continue in (Inaudible).

WATTERS: Show it.

PERINO: So, they go to the hearing and then Adam Schiff is actually unprepared. And like reading from the staff knows and he is not able to actually bring a sale. So now, and actually then that goes to the DOJ. The DOJ declines to prosecute. It's like this is not, this is the whole U.S. attorney thing.

Now in 2019, in 10 years, when you didn't even have social media back then really, you have them -- the Democrats are planning to put on a show next Wednesday with Adam Schiff.

WATTERS: We've been promised a show for a long time.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: And the bar is really, really high.

WATTERS: Yes.

PERINO: I don't know if they can meet the bar.

GUTFELD: Dana, Dana?

MONTGOMERY: Why is he the guy, though? Why is Schiff the guy? Why is he the one who is now in charge of this whole thing? Why is Adam Schiff the face --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Instead of Nadler, I don't know.

WATTERS: Well, they had to do it in the dark and the intelligence committee was the only place they could pull it off. And to the people at home, we just want to apologize, you know, this is a family show.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: Dana apologizes.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Dana --

PERINO: Excuse me.

GUTFELD: Dana, that's really s-u-c-k-s.

PERINO: Yes, it did.

WATTERS: All right. Up next, Democrats all excited over last night's election. They're not going to like the latest sign that Trump is on his way to a second term. That more in a round up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Twenty-twenty round up time. First up, Democrats say last night's election results are a sign of President Trump's weakness. But a new poll shows a majority of voters do expect him to win in 2020. Fifty-six percent say they think the president will be reelected next year.

Off-year elections, Jesse, is not easy to like get a sense of what could happen next year because of an off-year election. But there might have been a little -- a few tells here and there.

WATTERS: Well, yes. I mean Bevin in Kentucky was very unpopular. Most unpopular governor --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: I didn't know that in a country.

WATTERS: -- in the United States and just Trump couldn't drag him across the finish line, unfortunately. But five out of the other six Republicans won in Kentucky. You know, it's not good that Republicans lost Kentucky. I'm going to be honest about it, but it is what it is. And it looks like Virginia is going blue.

But the point is that Trump is going to win reelection. Moody says that if you look at all of the economic forecasts, the RNC is behind him this time. They are killing the Democrats on Facebook; they are killing them with data. And they have no talent on the left. So, I think he'll win again.

PERINO: Juan, the Democrats thought that they had, that they looked it the other way. Right? When you have results, everybody gets to have a say. What do you think about last night?

WILLIAMS: Well, first let me speak to the poll because I think that you and I have discussed this, Dana. You got an incumbent. And I think there's only two incumbents in recent history who haven't won a second term.

PERINO: Right.

WILLIAMS: So, most people are saying, well, yes, I guess he is the incumbent and guess what. He's quite a showman. he knows how to throw a lot of dirt. I think he's better at campaigning then he is at governing. So, he throws up a lot of dirt, calls people a lot of names, and people say, you know, if it's just him, we don't have a Democratic nominee yet. Republicans, like Jesse say, you'll be like the Democrats are more like, you know what, this guy has a real shot at reelection.

PERINO: But the thing is, Kennedy, in an off-year -- since 2016 President Trump himself has not been on the ballot. That could make a difference.

MONTGOMERY: Well, and also, I think it's actually good news because people are paying attention to politics in ways that they never have. And politics really, it takes up some much of our conversations and so much of our cultural focus. And so people pay attention to local races in ways they didn't before.

And so, they may not like a ballot measure that you would think would go a certain way. They may not like a Republican governor in a red state, but that doesn't mean necessarily it's bad news for the president.

What I will say about these two elections we're talking about, Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush. Jimmy Carter faced a transformational candidate in Ronald Reagan. He was a charismatic person with a solid philosophy from a big state. And he had the kind of pixie dust sprinkled over him that Jimmy Carter could only have dreamed of.

PERINO: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: And George H.W. Bush had Ross Perot to contend with. We haven't seen the third-party candidate like that regardless of what Hillary Clinton say about Jill Stein being a Russian asset since then.

PERINO: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: And you know although I love the idea of other parties --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: We got another topic. We got to run to, Kennedy, is that all right? We got -- so Joe Biden slamming rival Elizabeth Warren as condescending and accusing her of elitist. Now that came after Warren said Biden was running in the wrong presidential primary for criticizing her Medicare for all. Greg, what do you make of this? Calling her an elitist?

GUTFELD: I know. It's good to see sleepy Joe waking up though from his nap. He's got his graham crackers and his apple juice. And the thing is he needs -- this is his lane. He's still a sloppy jalopy. But he's got to get in that middle lane instead this lady is too far left for us. You know, the middle class does need Biden. They don't need a virtuous signaling clone who is going to be obedient to the squad.

PERINO: Yes. And she says, Jesse, that she was a public school teacher but she omits the part about working at Harvard.

WATTERS: Listen, the real punch to the face is Pocahontas. He's not going to do it, because he's afraid that he's going to lose support from liberals, if he goes after. But it's in his back pocket.

WILLIAMSNEWS: Wait. But Biden did go after?

WATTERS: Not on Pocahontas. She's fake Indian. She lied about it for her whole career. And he's waiting for that--

WILLIAMS: Jesse--

WATTERS: And he is going to drop it if he keeps dropping in the polls.

WILLIAMS: But Jesse, that's a petty argument.

WATTERS: That's not a petty argument. That is a slam dunk.

WILLIAMS: You know where you and I agree. Remember we were having a conversation about Medicare for All, and the idea and I think this is why Joe Biden was right to take the offensive. I'm glad to see him go out there. But guess what, people on the Left have real arguments and concerns about her Medicare for All and how it's going to be paid for.

PERINO: Yes, Bill Galston of the Wall Street Journal wrote today that her plan is the longest political suicide note in history.

WILLIAMS: Well, it could be. But what I'm saying is you have Joe Biden there. He can say, this is where you and I agree, fix Obamacare, make it work, right.

WATTERS: Yes, it's a nice attack. I mean elitism in the Democratic primary just seems soft compared to what we went to 2016.

WILLIAMS: Elitism?

WATTERS: Yes, that's not a really nasty attack. I want to see more blood.

PERINO: You know what, you want a better nickname. That's what you want. All right, finally, Senator Kamala Harris introducing a bill that would make the school day 10 hours long, to better sync up with parents work schedules. Doors would be open from 8 AM to 6 PM, Greg.

GUTFELD: All right. I read something on Twitter today that kind of blew my mind. A guy named Frank J. Fleming just tweeted some casual tweet. He said, if you put a child through 16 years of education, at the end you would have Batman. I mean when you think about it. But after 16 years, we're grateful that this kid could write a blog or sell hot tubs.

Technically, 16 years of actual real education, you should have a Navy SEAL who can play classical violin, but we don't - I mean think about 16 years. You put somebody through 16 years of real education that tells you we have to re-evaluate education. It's not about more Kamala. It's about better.

So, you've got to forget courses. We've got to get rid of courses and focus on talent. So, imagine a six-year-old being told that by the time you're 21, you're going to be a highly skilled martial artist who will be able to play guitar as well as Jimi Hendrix and have a degree in engineering. You should have all of those things.

WILLIAMS: But I just want to say on the--

PERINO: Let's ask a mom on the panel. Kennedy, what do you think about this idea?

MONTGOMERY: Well, we don't have that because we don't allow kids to follow their passion.

GUTFELD: Right.

MONTGOMERY: So, kids don't develop skills deeply like they should.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MONTGOMERY: Because we're resting on this outdated Prussian 19th century factory model. It does a great disservice and Kamala Harris only wants to extend that. We need school choice and we do need to completely rethink the education system.

WILLIAMS: I agree with the school choice thing, but why is it when attacking Kamala Harris This is a good idea. Bernie Sanders had the same idea and not only did Bernie Sanders not get the blowback that she's getting, I think every mother in America who has to deal with childcare after school says, oh, yes, that's a rational idea.

GUTFELD: But she does love putting kids away.

PERINO: Jesse, give me last word.

WATTERS: No, let Greg have that last word.

PERINO: We'll leave it at that. Hillary Clinton tries her hand at late night TV humor to attack President Trump. How it turned out. Up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: As you know, Hillary Clinton is on her please don't forget me tour. Now showing up on a late-night show to crack wise about the guy who shellacked her like a driftwood sculpture in 2016. Yes, Trump is her meal ticket, her free bird, her stairway to heaven. She brought Chelsea, because she's also unemployed and Bill wanted both of them out of the house before his 5 PM shows up. Her name is Krystal.

WATTERS: Greg.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE: If anyone should be telling Trump jokes, it's me.

CHELSEA CLINTON, DAUGHTER OF BILL CLINTON: 50 percent of Trump's tweets have been attacks on people. 100 percent have been attacks on the English language.

CLINTON: It came out to a total of 6000 tweets attacking people. Even more surprising only 3000 of those were about my emails.

CLINTON: Sean Spicer is now on Dancing with the Stars. It is an improvement on his old job. Dancing around the issues.

CLINTON: I can't blame Trump for trying to help Sean Spicer. But if there is one thing, we've learned is that these guys really can't win the popular vote.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Those jokes really killed says the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein. But as usual, the gags seem sad, it's like a chump dumped by a girl three years ago who keeps joking about his ex to let you know he's all right. But he's still dying inside. Yes, it's good to laugh, but also maybe to move on, isn't there a Wal-Mart that needs to greeters.

Maybe this is a new thing for Corden though. Open mic night for losers. He hands the set over to people to work humorously through their humiliations after Hillary invite Jeff Zucker. But I enjoyed it once you ponder the alternative. Four years ago, you were given two choices Trump loses and Hillary's President or Trump wins and Hillary is doing standup.

Every time Hillary cracks a joke, it's a reminder which one you got. So, Hillary is welcome to overstay her welcome because it's fun to be reminded that Trump didn't just win. He put an exclamation point finally at the end of the Clinton sentence. She may kill on stage and in prison, but he killed a dynasty. So, enjoy the jokes when it's coming from the Clintons. They write themselves.

I love Hillary, Kennedy. I never wanted to leave. She makes me happy.

MONTGOMERY: And her daughter has the charisma of a cold bowl of cream of wheat.

GUTFELD: How dare you insult my favorite breakfast.

MONTGOMERY: The two of them, it's really an act of desperation. And at this point I know Hillary's former spokesperson Phillipe Reines has made the rounds on various lustrous cable news shows including Dana's and my own.

And he's saying well, the doors not closed. Well then throw it open, go ahead and declare candidacy.

GUTFELD: Yes, just do it.

MONTGOMERY: And go ahead and run. Otherwise what is this exactly. Because it's not necessary for the political conversation, she's not talking about any ideas.

GUTFELD: Well, they got a book out, Jesse. But you know if she only had to make this effort in Wisconsin. She's going to every talk show but can't get to Wisconsin.

WATTERS: She's working hard to promote the book that she did to win the White House.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WATTERS: This is about Chelsea. This is Chelsea doesn't have a lot of things to do during the day.

MONTGOMERY: She's the mom of three.

WATTERS: Right. Granted, she's mom of three, but she wants to be President of the United States.

GUTFELD: Is parenting that hard?

WATTERS: So, they're trying to groom her to be a political figure. And the grooming is not going very well. I mean she can't deliver a joke even if the jokes are written for her. And what does she make money at the Clinton Foundation again. That's not really - I'm not going to go there. It's just not really something that takes a lot of time.

So, Chelsea needs kind of a step up and she reached down, she grabbed Chelsea and they're just trying to help Chelsea out a little bit.

GUTFELD: Juan, I get being obsessed with winning, but being obsessed with losing is kind of sad. I feel bad for her while I'm enjoying it.

WILLIAMS: I think you're enjoying it. Let me just best - let's reiterate that point, because I think in fact it's Republicans who delight in sort of tormenting and holding her up like a pinata.

GUTFELD: I didn't ask her to do that show.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: James Corden asked her to do that show and much of the other people.

GUTFELD: They're enablers.

WILLIAMS: Well OK, but I'm saying--

MONTGOMERY: Did Stephanie Grisham put in the call, Juan.

WILLIAMS: Hang on, Kennedy. She gets an audience. There are people who want to see her. And politically guess what she is making an important point for Democrats which is pay attention to the Electoral College. She has been making that point time and again, don't lose your focus. Don't think about the popular vote. You've got to focus on the swing states, the Electoral College if you're serious about beating Trump.

MONTGOMERY: Exactly.

PERINO: Well, that's right. That's a great lesson and nothing to take away from your loss. Pay attention to the Electoral College. But she wants it now - is ban the Electoral College.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Also, somebody must be telling them that they're doing great.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Right, somebody must say like, that was so funny.

GUTFELD: They don't have good friends.

PERINO: That was so funny. I was dying. I had to rewind it and watch it 20 times.

GUTFELD: Yes, so funny. Good friends tell you when you're bombing, right.

WATTERS: Well, I mean Bill's happy.

GUTFELD: Well, they're out of the house.

WATTERS: Have the place to themselves.

MONTGOMERY: But that's why she lost because she had people around her who wouldn't tell her you're doing the wrong thing.

PERINO: Private email.

MONTGOMERY: Very clear from 2015 on that people couldn't get a sense of who she really was. She was giving the wrong speech. She was focusing on the wrong issues. She was visiting the wrong places. She took so much for granted because she had so many sycophants around her blowing.

WILLIAMS: Let me get this straight. You really feel comfortable saying that Hillary Clinton has sycophants in the era of Donald Trump and all the people--

MONTGOMERY: Do you think sycophancy is a one-sided.

WILLIAMS: Holy smokes.

MONTGOMERY: I'm not going to use unsavory language to fulfill your fetish, Juan.

WILLIAMS: That's Dana's, not mine.

MONTGOMERY: There are sycophants all over presidential politics, anyone who wants to be president has a screw loose. Anyone who can't let go of a presidential loss is pathological.

WILLIAMS: I'm just saying, we still have people complaining about her e- mail. I mean it's not only has she been clear, Trump has the same e-mail problem.

PERINO: If her staff had said, ma'am, this is a really bad idea and you should not do it, she might be President.

WILLIAMS: No, they would have exploited something else.

WATTERS: They needed a whistleblower on the staff. Blow the whistle. Hillary has got a secret now.

GUTFELD: All right. Liberals are coming for your Thanksgiving turkey. We'll tell you about it, next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MONTGOMERY: Climate crusaders homing in on a new target to save the planet. Thanksgiving. Yes, according to The Huffington Post, you should give up eating turkey and consider changing your travel plans to reduce your carbon footprint. So, Greg, no turkey, no traveling, just a bunch of brussels sprouts in your own gassy apartment. That sounds like a wonderful way of--

GUTFELD: Yes, my life. This pitches the war on Thanksgiving, but this is the Huffington Post. The only war their bloggers are waging is against the elastic waistband of their soiled sweatpants. By the way, Huffington Post is for sale. I think THE FIVE should buy it and make them write about sports. Dead spin.

But this is an example of you not me sacrifice. I'm telling you to do this knowing that nobody will check that Huffington Post writer to see if they're taking their own medicine, right. And if you call them on it, they'll say oh no, writing the article is my contribution to this problem. I don't really have to do anything but write the article.

MONTGOMERY: Oh no, I'm still going to eat turkey in Peru, where I'm flying private. It's going to be great. So, Dana, I understand it's nice to have suggestions and people say, well, why not bring a vegetable to the Thanksgiving table. But they're really trying to shame us or changing our behavior.

PERINO: I don't think the vegetables at Thanksgiving. I don't. I just like the turkey.

GUTFELD: But the corn.

PERINO: And the cranberries. I like to mix the turkey and the cranberry and I pretty much - I don't like the brussels sprouts, like I'm the opposite of this. The other thing is on the Huffington Post I'm pretty sure that like four times a week you could read an article about how lonely Americans are and how it's an epidemic. And now they're saying don't go visit your family on the best holiday of the year.

MONTGOMERY: Yes. Rot in hell, grandma. I'm going to be sitting here by myself and my vegan utopia.

PERINO: Right because of my carbon footprint.

MONTGOMERY: Yes.

WATTERS: I understand people don't want to drive on Thanksgiving though. I mean I 95 on Thanksgiving is terrible. I get it and you don't want to see your grandparents. I understand that or your in-laws. I understand that. I also when I hear the phrase according to the Huffington Post, it's like anything that falls out is stupid.

And then they want to fight a war on Thanksgiving, they lost the war on Christmas. They want to fight again. I mean I helped win the war on Christmas.

GUTFELD: You did.

WATTERS: Come at me guys.

GUTFELD: And you didn't even get a medal.

WATTERS: That's true. In my own ceremony.

MONTGOMERY: You know what, with that heroic dog that helped take down Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi. Jesse is going to get that medal too, same day.

WATTERS: And just move the veggies around with your fork.

PERINO: I don't even take them.

WATTERS: So, no one sees.

PERINO: I don't even take them.

WATTERS: You don't even take them. That's rude.

WILLIAMS: No, I just worry about your bone spurs from that war on Christmas. But excuse me folks, I mean let's be real, it's almost a 100 percent consensus that global warming is real. The cost are real, environmental economic, the change is real. And so now, you guys are saying oh you know what, people are so stupid. They want to control the world, but they're stupid for saying, hey, I acknowledge that something is going on and we've got to figure out a way.

PERINO: OK. But Juan, if your kids didn't come home for Thanksgiving.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: You wouldn't have any pictures for One More Thing.

WILLIAMS: But Dana, the article didn't say don't meet your relatives. It said consider how far you go. Try to have things closer.

MONTGOMERY: You know what there is a couple of times--

GUTFELD: Live it, Juan, you've got to live it for Thanksgiving. You've got to follow through.

WILLIAMS: You've got to mock them.

MONTGOMERY: This is not the hill to die on Turkey Hill. Turkey is not where we die. That's where Martha Stewart lives.

WILLIAMS: But the war on Christmas that went so well for Jesse.

WATTERS: Juan, don't insult the Native Americans. They wanted Thanksgiving, that's an insult.

WILLIAMS: Is that right?

WATTERS: Apologize.

WILLIAMS: And the Christians, the war on Christmas because they're under such pressure here. Yes.

WATTERS: That's right. We say Merry Christmas, not happy holidays.

WILLIAMS: Thank you.

MONTGOMERY: Well, we don't say it yet, because it isn't even Thanksgiving yet.

WATTERS: True.

MONTGOMERY: We do say One More Thing is up next. Stay here.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Good times. It's time for One More Thing. Jesse.

WATTERS: That means part two of mom texts. Here we go, mom. Now some of these mom texts were so hot and edgy that producers even had to tell me not to read some of it. All right.

WILLIAMS: Goodness.

WATTERS: Yes. Mom's been on fire. All right. Please, I pray, you do not support the President's words. The chant was vile just acknowledge that please. It's not how you have been raised to behave.

Number two, you're already smirking. Just please don't scream and be sarcastic. This Congress is right and roll to investigate. And you are screaming honey, why? Most of them are about screaming actually and pointing. Pay attention to your sources.

And lastly, good show. You weren't unhinged. Thank you, mom for that beautiful.

WILLIAMS: Go mom go. All right. Dreams do come true. And for a basketball player at Grand Valley State in Michigan, it came true as a surprise. Take a look at this coach's announcement.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Once I've got to college, I knew I wanted to be college coach. Hopefully some of you guys have got the same kind of goals in mind. What about you.

(CROSSTALK)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Ben got to nursing school today.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Head coach Rick Wesley got the word early that student athletes Ben Lovett had been accepted to the nursing program. Ben said the coach surprised him was the best way to find out because all of his teammates were there to celebrate with him, way to go Ben. We need good nurses. Dana.

PERINO: That's very cool. All right. So, last night I had the honor of going to the 35th Annual Strive Anniversary Gala and my friends Dina Powell McCormick and Mitch Landrieu were honored for their dedication to the organization. I was really overwhelmed during the night because they have a 70 percent job placement rate. They basically help people break the cycle of poverty. They help people learn how to interview, how to get along with others, how to tie a tie.

And they inspired natural entrepreneurs like Roy Castro. He spent 10 years in jails from 18 to 28 years of age, wanted to change his life. He then went to Strive and the Goldman Sachs 10000 Small Businesses program because of Dina's help and now he has the largest ice cream distributorship in all of New York City. He has moved out to the south, he's got a big beautiful family and he's on the board now.

If you know anybody who needs help in this area or you want to volunteer, Strive has 12 programs in cities across the country, we've got a map there for you to check it out. It is amazing.

And I am on Tucker Carlson tonight.

WATTERS: All right.

PERINO: Talking about politics.

WILLIAMS: That's a great cause. Congratulations.

PERINO: Well, to them. I didn't do anything.

WILLIAMS: No, but you supported them. Greg.

GUTFELD: All right. On my Fox Nation TV show. What do you call it, digital show? I'm with Scott Adams. We discuss his new book Loser Think, it's fantastic. It's a great interview. You'll learn a lot. I also did a two- hour podcast that is up on Twitter right now. If you go to my Twitter address, whatever you want to call it with Nick Gillespie from Reason, we talk about everything. That's on reason.com. as well. Everything.

Now let's do something like this. Animals Are Great. I have a feeling that tonight I'm going to be going out and so is Jesse and we might have a little too much to drink. Who knows? But I wonder what it's going to look like. I have a feeling that it might look like this. This is Jesse coming home. This is like about 3 in the morning. Crap get up and then the other. We're coming in. This is me usually around 2:30 in the morning.

That always happens.

PERINO: What's the real story.

GUTFELD: I think they're fainting goats. Don't you know what fainting goats are, they just faint when they're scared.

PERINO: Is that real?

GUTFELD: They paralyze when they are nervous, they get paralyzed--

MONTGOMERY: They sound great with the camera.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. I was wearing--

WILLIAMS: All right, Kennedy. Go for it.

MONTGOMERY: All right. So, you know how hard it is to get rid of your old crap. Well, Chris Brown solved that problem. He tweeted out to his 89 million followers that he was having a garage sale, sold a bunch of his high-end stuff instead of consigning it, had a two-day 18 hour yard sale, of course the LAPD had to come to Tarzana and make sure that security was in check and he made $175 million.

WILLIAMS: Is that true?

MONTGOMERY: No, but it wouldn't be great if he did? That would be awesome.

WILLIAMS: You mean he had tents?

MONTGOMERY: He had tents. He had--

PERINO: He was Marie Kondoing.

MONTGOMERY: He's a fanatic. He does.

GUTFELD: Did he punch anybody there?

WILLIAMS: All right.

MONTGOMERY: I will never forgive him for punching Rhianna.

WILLIAMS: OK. Set you DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five.” "Special Report," that great show, it's up next.

Hey, Bret Baier.

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