This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," February 15, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RACHEL MADDOW, MSNBC HOST: Sound the alarm that way. That will let everybody know what has happened.

All of the alarms are going off about this.

All of the alarms have sounded. They are ringing incredibly loudly.

That's like a 10 alarm fire.

Struck the alarm bell, right?

Alarm sounded. We're awake.

Can set off an alarm bell.

Like I said, the alarms are ringing. What do alarms do? They're supposed to wake us up. Well, in this case, we are all awake. What do we do?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: How about hitting the snooze button?

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: All right. Let's start off with a quiz. When you think about the state of the Democratic Party. What does it remind you of? This.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Or this?

[VIDEO CLP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Or this.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: You see this is what I do for a living. I look at the news and I try to come up with a visual analogy. But the problem with the Democrats is there's such a mess you spend a lifetime doing it. So I'm going to go with just one.

The Democratic Party is like your neighborhood cat lady and all the wacky leftists, they are the cats. See it started out fine. It wasn't too bad when she just had one cat. But then one day you open your back porch and you see this.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: So is it any surprise the Democratic Party is now led by one giant furry cat?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. BERNIE SANDERS (I-VT), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: It's funny, sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is because people are lining up for food. That's a good thing.

In other countries people don't line up for food, the rich get the food and the poor starve to death.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Yes, he's the cat who hates capitalism, a feline who digs bread lines. But hey, maybe Sanders deserves the nomination. He's got a cause and fans and he fights -- not bad.

Until you step back to see the big picture. That century-long battle between totalitarianism and free societies. Bernie's are eternally wrong fuzz moppet who chose Darth Vader over Han Solo.

Instead of embracing America, he picked the team that lost, the one that contributed to hell on earth. So his success now can only be enjoyed if you choose to ignore the mountain of misery behind it.

So the Berlin Wall comes down and communism collapses. A sensible person says hurray. But Sanders he says, hey, we still love Cuba.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: But as Bernie surges, Joe continues his slow motion collapse.

If only there were an analogy for Biden's campaign.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: It looks like his team could use some industrial strength Viagra. Which is a surprise given the articulate brilliance of dog faced pony soldier.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Which is my screen name on Grindr.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: So what's Joe? What's Joe got to say about that?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Joe Biden on insults.

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING JOE BIDEN: Look, it's a simple formula. Action plus animal slash body part plus animal slash profession. Yes. I've got a million of them. You crying squirrel-eyed goat fireman. Come on. Come at me, you tap-dancing alpaca eared beaver sales clerk.

Where are you at you coughing limp wristed salamander boat captain?

Do you like them apples? By the way, Joe gets his apples just like everybody else. I buy them on eBay one at a time.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

Cheer

GUTFELD: All right. Okay, so we kept warning everybody, hey, Joe, he may not make it, but no one had the guts to tell him, not even his buddy Obama, who now won't even be in the same room with him.

He is treating Joe like a porcupine with chlamydia.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Obama is literally that guy who ditches his boring friend at the party and he has definitely ditch Joe pawning him off on the rest of us. So I have a solution. The Dems should just throw Joe a surprise retirement party.

Don't tell him. Don't tell him.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Just have him show up for a meeting and then surprise confetti, ice cream cake, the gold watch, speeches, face painting before Joe knows it, he will be back on a plane to Delaware completely forgetting he was running for President.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Which is a good thing. I mean, I kind of love the guy, but he's like a doctor with that great bedside manner who keeps removing the wrong kidney.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Besides job Joe -- Joe doesn't need to run against Trump, when even Mickey Mouse could beat him, and now Joe Biden on Mickey Mouse.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SHILLUE: This may surprise you. I'm not opposed to a Mickey Mouse-Donald Duck ticket. Duck ticket, duct tape.

Hey, why do we have to murder all those ducks just to make some tape? I won't do that.

Tape. Superior to DVDs. Here's a tip for you from Old Joe. You don't have to rewind your DVDs. Just take them back to blockbuster as his. I've got a slogan in my campaign. Be kind, rewind.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: So as the Dems keep losing, Trump keeps winning. The Trump economy is making everyone happy. It's better than spiking the water supply with Prozac.

So why on earth would you expect America to mess with a good thing? I mean, if your 401(k) is kicking ass, you don't cash it out and sink it all on edible stockings, though that sounds pretty good.

So what a mess the Dems offer America -- Bernie is a socialist, the guy who rooted for the other team because he despised his own so much more. Mayor Pete is a walking Scrabble dictionary. Liz, what can we say about her that she hasn't already made up about herself?

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: And Joe, he is just a nice old man who hasn't just lost a step but misplaced the damn ladder.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: What do you say Joe?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: And now Joe Biden on his fifth-place finish in New Hampshire.

SHILLUE: Fifth place? Come on, man. Where I come from that's just winning first place four times. It's a lucky number, five. Party of Five. Scott Wolf. Good looking kid. Wolf pups. They're like regular pups but not as scary. Yes. Scary movie. Who is driving now? Count them, huh? Who won New Hampshire now? Text Joe to place fifth.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Period.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's got more culture than a gallon of yogurt, author, political commentator and host of "The Mark Steyn Show," Mark Steyn.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: This man got bin Laden to open up. Former Navy SEAL who killed Bin Laden, Rob O'Neill.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: She is as grim as she is trim. Host of "Sincerely Kat" on Fox Nation, Kat Timpf.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: He doesn't drive, he orbits. My massive sidekick and host of "Nuff Said" on Fox Station, Tyrus.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: All right, Mark. Are you excited about this array of Democrats? Anyone who excites you?

MARK STEYN, AUTHOR AND COLUMNIST: Amy Klobuchar came out of nowhere, no one knows anything about her except she eats salad with her comb.

GUTFELD: Yes.

STEYN: So that when Joe Biden is sniffing her hair, he gets the faint tang of Thousand Island Dressing.

GUTFELD: Rob? What are your thoughts?

ROB O'NEILL, FORMER NAVY SEAL: This is next-level stuff right here. No, you know, I find myself walking around the house out of nowhere just saying Buttigieg.

[LAUGHTER]

O'NEILL: I know the name and I noticed if I go in front of the mirror-like the movie "Beetlejuice," if I say Buttigieg, Buttigieg, Buttigieg, just the ghost of Robert De Niro shows up. So I'm pretty excited about that.

No, you know, I don't have a problem with a lot of these candidates. It's just -- I mean, other than, you know, Joe Biden, he has been in office for 48 years. He's going to come back to Washington and change it.

But I mean, these are the people with their problems and they're are pandering to the left and it's like all of this ridiculous socialism crap, it's never going to work and it's just -- I mean Trump's going to win in a landslide.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: So I don't even know why they are wasting their time.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Rob O'Neill. He just panders to you. All right, I just want to point out that that was a pander.

O'NEILL: Oh, yes, totally.

GUTFELD: A total pander.

O'NEILL: Yes.

GUTFELD: All right.

O'NEILL: O'Neill 2024.

GUTFELD: There you.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Kat, What about Joe? Do you feel bad?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NATION HOST: I feel so bad. I was watching the New Hampshire stuff.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And watching it come in. He's not doing a great job. I was just feeling so bad for him and I just wanted to like take care of him and make him feel better, even though I never liked him in the first place. It's like, oh my god. It's like everyone I dated in my 20s, right?

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: So honestly, now I'm doing better --

GUTFELD: Apparently.

TIMPF: But I the past, no, I'm doing great. But I'm just saying if there were more people in America who were like, you know, codependent 20 somethings. Maybe he'd be doing a lot better than he is. I might have even voted for him.

But no, you know, that we've all gotten the therapy we need and it's just - - it's not going to work out and it's really, really sad to watch. I wouldn't take care of him.

GUTFELD: Oh.

TIMPF: I am recognizing toxic patterns.

GUTFELD: Yes and what about you, Tyrus?

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: So here's the thing. The impeachment. Who did it really hurt? Who did the Democrats destroy with impeachment? There were two older white men involved in impeachment. One's ratings went up. One had all-time turnout for voters as there was only him to really vote for him.

And one guy got obliterated off the entire planet -- Joe Biden. Yeah. Congratulations, Democrat your impeachment worked. You destroyed Joe Biden's presidency. You destroyed it.

O'NEILL: With the impeachment, too, it is, we're going to find out eventually where those 33,000 deleted e-mails from Hillary Clinton were about.

MURDOCH: That's what I am saying, that's what it led to that every voter - - every Democratic voter was like, great, so we support Biden and around November-ish, the F.B.I. is going to come out and say, you and your son, we need to have a conversation.

GUTFELD: Yeah. See -- that's what happens -- instead of just playing fair and letting the voters decide, they screwed themselves.

We've got to go. We're going to talk about Trump's week. That's next don't go anywhere.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: Trump keeps scoring, the Dems still boring. I wonder what did Trump learn from impeachment?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: That the Democrats are crooked. They've got a lot crooked things going, that they are vicious, that they shouldn't have brought impeachment.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Anything else?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: And that poll numbers are ten points higher because of fake news like NBC.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: The country kept thriving during impeachment and America started to notice. You know how pollsters asked, are you better off than you were three years ago? This year 61 percent said yes. Better off under Trump. A number way higher than when incumbents were up for reelection. Obama didn't get that high. Well, nor did Bush 43 or Clinton or Bush 41.

Trump's number is so high, I get a nosebleed just reading it. And that's going to be tough for any of the candidates to beat. Honestly, do you think Trump's going to worry about this?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MICHAEL BLOOMBERG (D), PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Now, if I were from Texas, I might say he is -- Donald Trump is scared as a cat at the dog pound. But since I'm from New York, I put it this way. We're scaring the living hell out of him and we're just starting right now.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I don't think Texans say that.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: And I don't think Trump is scared of that. Even CNN knows that Trump victory November, it's not that hard to get there.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOHN KING, CNN CHIEF NATIONAL CORRESPONDENT: It's not that hard to get there because North Carolina viewed as a swing state here, North Carolina tends to lean red in presidential politics. Florida in recent elections leans red in presidential politics.

Arizona, Democrats think they can win it this year. Let's see. Its history is, it leans red.

Just those three states get the President to 259.

Look at the map, he could get there easily just by winning Pennsylvania again, that would get him over the top.

Let's say that one goes blue, the President could get there by winning Michigan again, that would get him over the top. He could do it with a combination of New Hampshire and Wisconsin.

So when you look at the map now, the President has a viable path.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, what you can't hear in the back there is Don Lemon quietly weeping.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: I guess, the Dems better find something else to investigate, like maybe President Trump interfering in the Roger Stone case with a tweet.

But in case you haven't noticed Trump tweets all the time, which means he interferes in everything. Mike Bloomberg is a mass of dead energy.

New stock market record, spend your money wisely.

Great lineup on Fox tonight with Jesse Watters, Judge Jeanine and Greg Gutfeld. That's a real tweet.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

GUTFELD: I'm telling you. You name it, he's going to tweet it. So the Dems may try to impeach Trump for this thing, too. It's all they have, especially when the majority says they're better off than three years ago, when 90 percent of the country thinks my life is good, and when the first impeachment didn't put a single dent in Trump's armor, are they going to try it again? I hope so. Because I really miss Adam Schiff.

[LAUGHTER]

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, IMPERSONATING ADAM SCHIFF: Because I like it.

If you were an apple, I wouldn't pick you.

I'm going to slide down a snowy mountain on my bare feet.

No wait, that's not --

Ready or not, here I chess.

Go Adam go.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Somebody call security.

SHILLUE: Security. Prove it in a court of law.

I see I have the light. I recognize myself. Good night.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Rob, thoughts in general? What are you thinking?

O'NEILL: In general, I know President Trump and he can never not say something about people like he actually brought me to the Lincoln bedroom and I was having an out of body experience.

I'm looking at the Gettysburg Address. I turned around and said, he said, you know, Rob, not everybody gets to see this unless of course you donate to the Clinton Foundation. I'm like --

[LAUGHTER]

O'NEILL: It's like, you just can't not.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: Yes --

TIMPF: That always happens when I'm hanging out with the President, too. I'm so annoyed.

[LAUGHTER]

O'NEILL: No, but it's funny here in Bloomberg talk because you know, I like to make jokes once in a while, too, and my jokes, my number one joke is never about poop, but it is always a solid number two.

GUTFELD: Yes. Ladies and gentlemen --

O'NEILL: That has nothing to do with anything --

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: I don't know. You know, Tyrus, that was a pretty good joke.

MURDOCH: It ain't bad.

O'NEILL: Thank you. It takes exercise.

MURDOCH: For all the money that Bloomberg has, he couldn't find a comedian coach? I mean, you give me $250,000.00, bro, I'll do two jokes for, but I mean, he literally said in Texas, he was more nervous than a cat at a dog pound. Why?

All the dogs are locked up. Like his jokes don't make any -- and then he was like, but how we do it in New York? And you remember the one guy in the crowd was like, how do you do it in New York? Thank you.

The entire place was like -- well, sometimes when people talk and they can't tell a story. It hurts so bad you can't look at them. I guarantee you that entire audience by the time he got to the dog pound, they were like, I mean, you have to look back to acknowledge because he's looking at you so you go like -- you're right. Let's go.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: When you don't have charisma or talent and you're a billionaire, you buy it, bro.

O'NEILL: Exactly.

MURDOCH: I'm on sale. I'll get up there.

GUTFELD: I think he is paying for it Kat, but he's getting lousy jokes.

TIMPF: Yes. I think so, too.

MURDOCH: It's such a pose contest.

TIMPF: Yes, it's so weird.

O'NEILL: Have you seen the ice video? When he -- he has got bigger ice cream, which I'm assuming is glorious, but like, he kind of dove it like --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because he probably has somebody to feed him ICE cream.

O'NEILL: Spoon feed him.

STEYN: Yes.

MURDOCH: But I think about voting for a guy who was like, if I'm your President, this is going to happen. And someone feeds you ice cream. And then there's a giant gingerbread man flipping around. You know what I am saying? And him riding a giant cat he made -- he cloned from a dinosaur.

Like, this dude gets things done. He is a billionaire I want to know about. Instead, we get, like a cat in a -- it's Texas. You ain't talking about cow, steers and cowboy hats. It ain't funny, Jack.

GUTFELD: What do you think, Mark?

TIMPF: Was that only my time to talk?

GUTFELD: Yes. Because I'm pretty sure they both just talked over me the whole time, but that was good.

MURDOCH: I'm sorry.

STEYN: Did I hear that right that cat is the one who killed Bin Laden?

GUTFELD: Yes.

STEYN: I am amazed. I never knew that. That's incredible.

TIMPF: I should have killed Bin Laden. I forget.

STEYN: I couldn't --

MURDOCH: Very truculent of you, Kat.

STEYN: Tyrus, I can't believe -- last time around, I can't believe they found someone who tells a joke worse than their candidate in 2016 because every time I came on this show that time I used to do, Hillary when she'd be saying, boy, I want to tell you, and she do the bobble head thing.

TIMPF: Oh, remember Pokemon Go to the polls?

STEYN: Now that's only if you're a Democrat presidential, old blue Bob has to do is, boy he is about as scared me as a cat in a dog pound and then fall over and he'd get the Hillary ovation.

TIMPF: And also, Trump is funny. Like whether you like him, don't like him. He is objectively hilarious and you're not going to be able to be funnier than he is.

GUTFELD: Yes.

STEYN: No.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: You're just not.

STEYN: And actually, that's a good point. You should be the guy who just keeps saying that's not funny.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

STEYN: Because the Democrats are actually a great humorless party these days. They're the party of the humorless, and the people who say that's not funny.

GUTFELD: There, I think it's got gloomy and Trump it's a tortoise versus the hare because he does look like a tortoise and Trump has got the hair.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: All right. I want to stop.

MURDOCH: Well played, sir.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Take a lesson from Mikey, don't extort Nike.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Former lawyer for Stormy Daniels and all-around dirtbag, Michael Avenatti was convicted of attempted to extort $25 million from Nike. They make shoes, Kat.

The litigating lollipop said he was taking an aggressive legal move on behalf of his client. But now the bald-headed bozo is facing up to 42 years when he is sentenced in June and he's got two more trials coming up facing charges of defrauding Stormy Daniels and other clients.

Yes, she hired Mikey to screw Trump and it turns out, he screwed her instead.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Anyway, he may be the worst lawyer ever which says a lot, but man, the media loved him.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANA NAVARRO, ABC HOST: To me, you're like the Holy Spirit. You are at all places at all times.

BRIAN STELTER, CNN CHIEF MEDIA CORRESPONDENT: Looking ahead to 2020, one reason why I'm taking you seriously as a contender is because of your presence on cable news.

I wrote about this saying you're currently leading the pack among 2020 contenders on the Democratic side.

CHRIS MATTHEWS, MSNBC HOST: Look, I think you're doing a hell of a job. I don't think you're in this for money.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: How [bleep] stupid are these people?

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: So why do we keep playing that? It's fun, but also to remind you, dear viewer, that you saw this guy for what he was -- scum -- but the media tried to persuade you that he was something else. Further proof that the establishment media is wrong on nearly everything.

We go now to the media for their apology.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: Kat, why did Stelter and that crazy lady from "The View," and all the people kissing this guy's ass? What? Why? What is wrong with them?

TIMPF: I don't know, but I'm actually going to disagree with Chris Matthews. I think that it may have had something to do with money.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: I don't know. I mean, he's obviously a terrible, terrible man, and he's obviously incarcerated. But I -- what he did was wrong. But I also do have, like the life goal of being someday rich enough, where like, I fully understand what extortion is and like how you do that?

You know, I would never just -- like Nike -- like how did you think this was going to work? I know what Nike is. I've seen their little checkmark all over the place. I see it so much I'm sure there's some pretty powerful dudes running that place. One bald dude can't take on all of Nike. Come on, man.

GUTFELD: The reason is, he was fully hubris because, Tyrus, the media built him up. I mean, Stelter said he was going to be the next President contender.

MURDOCH: Greg, stop. Greg stop it. Just stop. Let me get this out. He persuaded me. I believed in him. I sent $3.00 to his Iowa campaign.

He saved Stormy. He was up for the CNN Hero Award. I haven't -- have you been up for that?

GUTFELD: No.

MURDOCH: They took him and the Russians grabbed him, put him in jail because the [bleep] was a criminal.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: All right, Mark, could you imagine if he was found not guilty?

STEYN: Yes.

GUTFELD: CNN would have him back on.

STEYN: Yes, yes. He'd actually be parachuting into Nevada and South Carolina the dream moderate candidate who was going to who was going to save them.

I love the way like when he was shaking down Nike for $25 million, he had already spent it. He had spent the money. He had -- he wasn't just a bad lawyer. He had a chain of coffee shops as well, Tully's Coffee, so he actually sold bad macchiato and decaf cappuccinos. And nobody --

TIMPF: I just want to be rich enough to know what a macchiato is.

STEYN: No, that's a sophisticated -- and so you're just looking at this guy. He's ripped off his coffee house partner. He had Stormy -- he was going around doing these wearing $5,000.00 suits while she's dancing on a bar in Virginia for a couple of dollar bills to pay him.

GUTFELD: Yes.

STEYN: But the best thing about it was he was supposed to be the guy who's going to put Trump in -- do you remember when the great -- one of Anderson Cooper's best lines when he said, did he wear a condom to Stormy Daniels and I thought, oh, this is great. We are at last getting a real sex scandal in the Democratic --

I went out to put on a nice cup of tea and settle in with the sex scandal. And I came back and they say that it's a campaign finance infraction.

That's why can't get anywhere in this country because of sex scandal. You wait two minutes, and it's some kind of campaign finance thing.

So I was never -- I never quite bought him and I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I never thought it would be Nike because that's a hell of a shoe.

[APPLAUSE]

TIMPF: I see what you did there.

GUTFELD: Rob?

STEYN: That's two out of three.

GUTFELD: It's funny, every time they try to target Trump there's blowback. It's like he is the worst contestant at a pie-eating contest.

O'NEILL: There's blowback, you know. All President Trump -- I mean, Donald Trump is a billionaire. He didn't need to do this. He wants to make the country better. That's all he's doing.

And what amazes me is it's even before Nikita Khrushchev debated John F. Kennedy, the Russians were saying, we can beat the Americans not firing a shot, as long as we take Hollywood, the universities and the media.

GUTFELD: Yes.

O'NEILL: And my question is, when are we going to get rid of these [bleep]? Like --

GUTFELD: That was just one.

[APPLAUSE]

O'NEILL: The Stormy Daniels, the Avenattis, and I'm not going to mention some of the congressmen that -- I mean, Blumenthal senator. Fake Vietnam guy. I mean, no shame at all. And they're out there just proving they want to destroy the country. I don't get it. As a guy that fought for the country, I just don't get it.

GUTFELD: I think you're mad.

O'NEILL: No, I'm good. I'm good. It's late.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: Just don't try to shoot me, okay?

MURDOCH: A lot of us are upset because we were persuaded.

GUTFELD: All right. We've got more stuff to come. Don't go anywhere.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: It's the story that took America by storm, or at least the media during a slow news day. By now, you've seen this video. You've got these two passengers on an American Airlines flight. One of them reclines her seat back, the other passenger doesn't like it, starts hitting the back of her chair repeatedly.

So to recline or not to recline? It's a debate going back to the Roman Empire when humans and chickens fought to the death over such matters, and then made violent love.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: That's wrong. For more, we go to our airline etiquette corresponded Chad and Chaz with a live demo on how to sit on a plane.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Classic Chaz, always has to lick himself. This is why you're not getting any good work, Chaz. All right, Tyrus, try to ignore that video. You are a huge man. That guy would not have pounded your chair.

MURDOCH: Well, he would have did it once.

[LAUGHTER]

MURDOCH: But I have to deal with the lean back all the time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: And it should be uncomfortable for them to feel the knees before the lean.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

MURDOCH: So when they lean back, I don't have to do the -- and there was another thing, too. What kind of punch was that? Like? He just being annoying when he could have just said, excuse me, ma'am. It hurts when you lean back. Do you mind not leaning back?

Well, I'm sorry. I won't lean back. Try that first.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: You know what I am saying, like this is a grown man doing a temper tantrum. That's where we're at, America?

GUTFELD: Yes, I wouldn't call that a grown man.

MURDOCH: You can't just say -- no, I am just saying. He is bald as hell. He's grown. I mean, he's lost more than he has gained at that point. He doesn't have your Mel Gibson hair.

GUTFELD: Why, thank you.

MURDOCH: So the least he could do is just say -- am I lying? It's Mel Gibson.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

MURDOCH: Just one time. Just one time. Just say, give me back my son.

GUTFELD: Give me back my son.

MURDOCH: Bam. Watch the movie. Take it.

GUTFELD: "Ransom."

MURDOCH: "Ransom." Yes. But the point is, don't hit -- the first one, that's a woman, too, you should never hit.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. You never hit a woman.

MURDOCH: You shouldn't do that.

STEYN: Yes.

GUTFELD: Kat, air travel, I have a theory, it accentuates people who are just a-holes and they get on the plane and they don't fly very often and they just get worse. This guy could have checked in early and got a better seat.

TIMPF: Yes, see, I don't recline my seat. It's not because I think it's wrong. It's because I tried to one time like 12 years ago and I couldn't figure out how. So I just stopped trying forever.

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: I'm serious.

GUTFELD: You know what it is? You know what, I know what it is. I know what is.

TIMPF: I couldn't figure it out.

GUTFELD: I know what it is. It's called -- no, it's called the Dana Perino issue. So get this. Get this. Dana Perino could not -- she would go to the movies as a teenager, couldn't get that folded up seat to sit down, when she sat on it, she weighed like 35 pounds. You can't recline the seat because you can't press it back because you don't have bodyweight.

TIMPF: I don't try and thank you for calling me skinny. I want to make sure to acknowledge that. But I can't and like I've been uncomfortable for so many hours of my life because I'm just so afraid of looking rude or stupid and that's like what it's like to be a woman overall.

Can you please let me have my turn? You will let me have my turn.

MURDOCH: I am just pretending to push the button.

TIMPF: Okay, thank you.

GUTFELD: I think --

TIMPF: Anyway, if you do recline the seat, can you all do me a favor? First of all, congratulations. You're all geniuses.

GUTFELD: All right.

TIMPF: But don't -- pick take a position and stick with it. I hate it when people go back and forth, it's not a carnival ride and I'm trying to sleep on the back.

GUTFELD: All right, you know, Rob --

O'NEILL: Yes.

[APPLAUSE]

GUTFELD: Kat had a good point. Your opinion depends on your situation like when you're driving, you don't like pedestrians and then when you're a pedestrian, you get mad at drivers.

O'NEILL: That's it. Yes. That's in transit. We all hate each other. Most people are good people, but in transit, we don't like each other.

GUTFELD: Yes. Except for that guy.

O'NEILL: People that drive don't like pedestrians, pedestrian don't like drivers, and when we're in airports, we don't like each other.

Now, if I was that dude in the back being a soy boy, which he obviously was, I would have just jumped on the first class and ask Bernie Sanders to change seats with me.

[APPLAUSE]

O'NEILL: But the point I am making, I guarantee, if my man, Tyrus was up there, he's not punching that [bleep].

GUTFELD: No, no. Exactly. Mark?

STEYN: I don't -- I don't understand how reclining became a thing?

TIMPF: I don't either.

GUTFELD: I love reclining.

STEYN: No. Because you're on an airline.

O'NEILL: You couldn't figure it out.

TIMPF: I couldn't figure it out.

STEYN: You don't get any food. You don't get -- you get a bag of mini pretzels and they only accept credit cards and then you don't get any drink and you can't smoke, so suddenly reclining is a big thing and if you --

When you watch United to Singapore with 80 percent reclining in business class and some people, the minute they get on the plane, they want to make a big deal about the recline. So you get like -- I'll have the hot dripping taco.

I mean, how did reclining become the only benefit of flying? By the way, just to emphasize what Tyrus was saying, I don't get -- I don't get the way it is now.

If I say to Kat, that's a lovely dress you're wearing. She can #MeToo me and I'm finished. It's over.

TIMPF: I'm seeing dollar signs right away.

STEYN: But if she sits in front of me and I'm punching her -- I'm punching the back of her chair all the way to LAX, this airline gave her -- gave that guy a free rum and coke. So how many women do I have to pump to get a magnum and champagne?

GUTFELD: All right, on that note, we've got to take a break. See you in 240 seconds.

[APPLAUSE]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Like the rotary phone, VHS tapes, and my cousin Steve, parallel parking is dying.

Yes, I probably shouldn't have said that about Steve. He doesn't -- he doesn't know. I opened his mail.

Anyway, this week Nevada announced it will become the 17th state to stop requiring parallel parking on its driving tests. Part of the reason -- everybody is terrible at it. Said a DMV spokesman, "We had a pretty high failure rate with parallel parking. We fail them and they'd have to come back for a retest. Nobody wants that. So we simply eliminated it."

Well, that is a solution. Instead of getting better at it, just get rid of it. Instead, the DMV says what's important is that the driver can prove they can control the vehicle.

I guess that's true. Parallel parking is a skill and I tip my hat to anyone who can do it well. Here's Bill Hemmer arriving to work this morning.

[VIDEO CLIP PLAYS]

GUTFELD: All right. Rob.

O'NEILL: Yes.

GUTFELD: I believe that parallel parking is one of those words pleasures in life. You know, when you make it in one shot, it's like hitting a bull's eye, seeking a three footer or fitting a fat drifter into a tiny suitcase.

O'NEILL: Whenever you can park using just your mirrors not looking behind you. That's a total skill. But I mean, it's like this, we teach young Rangers young Navy SEALS, how to use map and compasses instead of GPS because once the GPS fails, how are we going to get where we're going.

If you get away from the mirrors and the parallel parking, plus, I mean, chicks dig it.

GUTFELD: Yes, no, there's nothing more impressive, Mark than parallel parking.

STEYN: No, that's true, but I'll tell you what is better. I always -- when I parallel park, I always like to do it in full recline, especially if that's so -- I always do it like that. Just -- and you're straight in. You can't go wrong.

GUTFELD: I feel bad for Kat. She is on the receiving end of that image.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: I know, Kat, I know you don't drive. So I'm assuming that that same feeling is like, wow, I really nailed that emoji.

TIMPF: Yes. I think that there should be no driver's test. I find the driver's test and the driver's license to be quite authoritarian. I don't think the government is the best, you know, authority on who can and can't drive or should and should not drive. And I know this actually because they gave me a license.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And I can't drive for -- and I was going to put the S word there. That would have been --

O'NEILL: That's where it was going.

TIMPF: It was going to be so good. But all the boys said the F word before me. So then I couldn't swear. But I think that parallel parking, I nailed it on the driver's test actually, in the real world, I could do it. But like, you've got to give me 20 to 30 minutes.

GUTFELD: You know, I always think that the drivers --

STEYN: Kat, should have done the S word as a vanity license plate.

TIMPF: It was perfect. I can't drive for -- that was good. And you guys are just haphazardly throwing F bombs and crushing my dreams.

O'NEILL: That was a really well-written joke.

GUTFELD: Tyrus? You know what I like doing? I like on my street, watching people parallel park because when strangers are watching you, it makes it worse. And not just for parallel parking -- if it happened to me in a party at midnight, I am embarrassed.

MURDOCH: Yes. You know what, Greg. That is a phenomenal point.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: Kat, will you demonstrate how you parallel park while I talk?

TIMPF: No, it's okay.

MURDOCH: I'll do it. Because you know what? You're okay when you're goes back and you look at this part, you're cool.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: You're all right here, and then when you're backing up you're like this. And then when you look and someone sees you, you're like, you son of a b___h. And you back it up. This guy is looking at me -- and then - -

GUTFELD: It's like when you --

MURDOCH: I can't do this if you watch me.

GUTFELD: It's like when you're using the urinal.

MURDOCH: Stop watching me.

GUTFELD: It's like gentleman's bladder.

O'NEILL: Oh my god, the jokes are riding the --

MURDOCH: It's like that.

TIMPF: Gentleman's bladder?

[LAUGHTER]

STEYN: Oh, come on.

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: I need hazard pay.

GUTFELD: When you are at a ball game and all of a sudden there's a line of people behind you at the trough. It kind of changes thing.

STEYN: Yes.

MURDOCH: Yes.

TIMPF: And that is called gentleman's bladder.

MURDOCH: You make some choices.

GUTFELD: Yes. It's called gentleman's bladder.

MURDOCH: Yes.

GUTFELD: That's -- you know, Kat, that's what gentlemen call it.

STEYN: Yes.

MURDOCH: Yes.

[LAUGHTER]

TIMPF: Okay.

GUTFELD: I don't even know where I am at this point. I think I've asked all of them questions. All right. You know, yes, don't go anywhere.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Welcome back to gentleman's bladder.

[LAUGHTER]

GUTFELD: We're out of time. Thanks to Mark Steyn, Rob O'Neill, Kat Timpf, Tyrus, our studio audience. I'm Greg Gutfeld, I love you, America.

Content and Programming Copyright 2020 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. All materials herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast without the prior written permission of Fox News Network, LLC. You may not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of the content.