This is a rush transcript of "Gutfeld!" on August 5, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: And I want to say publicly, I have a commitment from Mary when they make the first electric Corvette, I get to drive it. Right, Mary? Do you think I'm kidding? I'm not kidding.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

LAURA INGRAHAM, FOX NEWS HOST: Do members of the press keep asking him if he's kidding? No one does. There's -- no, there explanation for his odd behavior.

All right, that's all the time we have tonight. "GUTFELD!" takes it from here.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Oh, yes. Happy Thursday, everyone, or as Kat likes to call it, buy someone else's urine for the drug test day.

Glad she's here today but what a rough night for her.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh, no.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: She still made it here.

Julie Banderas joins us as well. Even despite the fact that Kat ditched her at the club.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: What a mess.

And of course there is Dana Perino. She's here. Yes. She spent all night prepping for the show.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Never do that on "THE FIVE", Dana.

And last but not the least, Buck Sexton. He's got a new radio show with Clay Travis. Here they are celebrating when they got the news.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Sad news about Clay though. All right.

So, what should we talk about today?

ANNOUNCER: Cori unhinged.

GUTFELD: So, if you want to understand why fascists get into politics, it's never more clear than when you hear it from the fascist. It's not just because they were too weak for sports or too ugly for showbiz. Although that explains Adam Schiff. It's to gain power over you, and become exempt from the rules they enforce on others.

It's why, as a kid, every wanted to be -- everybody wanted to be Simon in a game of Simon says. It's like becoming a narc who sells cocaine or a New York Governor with faster hands than a blackjack dealer.

But then there's Cori Bush. This fiery ball of hypocrisy makes Maxine Waters sound like Mahatma Gandhi. Here she is telling voters that they're going to get fewer cops on the beat, but she's going to get more security than a Brinks truck.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

REP. CORI BUSH (D-MO): I won't let them get that off. You can't get that off. I'm going to make sure I have security because I know I have had attempts on my life. And I have too much work to do. There are too many people that need help right now for me to allow that.

So, if I end up spending 200,000, if I spend 10 more dollars on it, you know what? I get to be here to do the work. So, suck it up. And defunding the police has to happen. We need to defend the police and put that money into social safety nets.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Wow, I thought we weren't defunding the police. That's what the Dems were saying. This woman were anymore unhinge, she'd be the screen door on a trailer in a tornado.

She basically just said, -- I'm powerful. I get the protection, you don't.

And unlike you, she has private security because her body is worth being on this planet right now.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BUSH: I have private security because my body is worth being on this planet right now. I have private security because they, the white supremacist, racist narrative that they drive into this country, the fact that they don't care that this black woman that has put her life on the line.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: True, her life is worth it. But the same could be said for all those owners of bodegas and clothing stores that were burned, looted, or otherwise destroyed in the riots.

Or how about all the black and brown casualties arising from this relentless crime wave egged on by her defunding idiocy? But who knows maybe she'll start making some sense.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BUSH: What other occupation can do work that's out of their scope, and still be propped up to do work that's out of their scope? As a nurse, I can't be the surgeon too. You don't want me being your surgeon and I'm the nurse. At what point do we pay police to be social workers? No, we don't.

How do they get to be social workers?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: The sound of a bird flying into a weed thresher makes more sense.

Bottom line, she's saying she deserves protection and you don't. At least when the mafia shakes you down, you get some security in return. They don't leave you at the mercy of other gangs and then brag about it.

I am not sure you can find a truer version of fascism taking shape if you watched home movies of Mussolini. For -- in order for the radical to assume power, they must follow the -- these three key steps: undermine the stability of institutions that keep us secure, claim they are for equality for the people, then, gain power and assume authority, minus the previous safeguards for citizens.

Suddenly, their promise of equality evaporates in the police that they so vilified, now works for them only.

Meet the new boss, worse than the old boss because this boss has no interest in actual equality, only punishment.

Of course, this is the same lady who vowed revenge against the McCloskey couple, after the Missouri governor pardon them after they pled guilty to misdemeanors, after pointing guns at trespassing BLM protesters.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BUSH: Mark McCloskey is an absolute liar. He has spat on my name. And because of that, his day -- his day will come.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He spat on my name, his day will come. That's personal sentiment coming from a politician about a private citizen. Seems a little crazed, the threat is clear, insult one of your rulers and there will be hell to pay.

It's like Game of Thrones without the brother-sister marriage. Unless you're Ilhan Omar.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes.

GUTFELD: Now, you see why private citizens are buying guns. It's like snow shovels the day before a nor'easter. You have unhinged politicians who don't need to buy guns, surrounded by folks who have them, threatening citizens who realized the Second Amendment might be the only protection they have.

They've already shut down the First Amendment and they're working their way through the list. They're like Brian Stelter eating his way through the menu at McDonald's.

Now, Bush claims she gets death threats, and I don't doubt it. If you're in the public eye, that's a certainty. I get them regularly, almost always from the same e-mail address.

But at least you know, at least -- at least Kat has the decency to threaten me in person. But do I have a full security detail? No. Well, yes, if you count my yellow belt and slap fighting from Tiger Showmance.

So, it's getting weird. The radicals are no longer in the streets spitting at cops, destroying property. They're now in office. They're making changes and they're taking names. They are protected, and you are not.

It's not the end of the world. But what's that look like anyway? Does it all come at once or in dribs and drabs? Radicals are really good at this stuff. They know America is a distracted and ambivalent Gulliver in the land of Lilliput, addicted to their screens.

While we scrolled, they strolled right in and they tied us down. While we got fat and relaxed glued to Twitter and TikTok, the rads overtook teachers' lounges, H.R. departments, government.

And the only thing standing between us and these petty tyrants is a doddering president whose only passion is ice cream. It's time to put the phone down and start stepping up. It's time to get as pissed off as they are. Playing Candy Crush or words with friends, are not going to cut it anymore.

ANNOUNCER: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guest. If you want to get the jasper, you got to go through her first. "AMERICA'S NEWSROOM" co-anchor and "THE FIVE"

co-host Dana Perino.

She's called out more bull crap than a janitor at a rodeo. Fox News anchor Julie Banderas.

Even porn stars think his name sounds made up, it's Buck Sexton.

And she's like a spider, wiry, and fast. But also eat bugs and lives under your bed. Fox News contributor Kat Timpf.

So, Dana, welcome to the show.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera): Welcome.

GUTFELD: It's great to see you. It feels like I just saw you already. All right.

So, clearly, you know, what she says a lot of stuff, this lady, so she is going to get death threats. But we all get death threats. We all want to have security. Why is her security more important than the people she represent?

PERINO: I mean, it might be hard to believe, but even I get death threats.

GUTFELD: I know.

PERINO: I mean, who would -- who -- how would they dare?

GUTFELD: I don't know. Well, Stuart Varney is still pissed off at you.

PERINO: I know. I know. So, do you remember when the Democrats went after Republicans for saying that you're all like Todd Akin. Remember that guy, Todd Akin? Remember that? This way back when -- you remember back? OK.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I'm akin for an explanation.

PERINO: Bad guy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Like not a good candidate. And not representative of everybody in the Republican Party. I think the Democrats, anybody who said that the Republicans are all like Todd Akin are going to have a very hard time saying that she doesn't represent them.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: Because what Kevin McCarthy, the majority leader for the Republicans, he just got to sit back today and watch a campaign ad being made.

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: And just yesterday, you had the head of the Democrats saying, guys, we have a big problems, the election were held today, we would lose, and here is one of the reasons why. Defund the police doesn't work.

Well, actually, she's like, hold my beer, I will make it all better for you. And now, they are looking at some really bad -- It's not just bad politics, obviously, it's terrible outcomes as well. But their politics are absolutely terrible.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. And it was -- we were told by everybody that defunding the police wasn't really defunding.

PERINO: No, as a Republican, remember --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Remember the President Biden and the White House press secretary tried to say that it was actually Republicans who were for defunding the police. And finally, the Washington Post gave them three Pinocchio's. It should have been 20.

GUTFELD: So, Julie, welcome to the show.

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Love to be here.

GUTFELD: I don't believe you, but I'm going to -- I want to put this story in an analogy that you'll understand.

BANDERAS: OK?

GUTFELD: This is like saying crystal meth should be illegal. Except for me, because I'm a leader and this helps me deal with my stress.

BANDERAS: Well, all right. So, crystal meth is not legal, just so you know.

And tonight, it's not. But, I thought it was interesting. She opened my whole eyes up to this. I don't know about everybody at home.

But first of all, I had no idea you could get security for $10, which that means that Kat might be able to afford it.

TIMF: Yes.

BANDERAS: And here in New York City, we don't need guns, we had bricks at the BLM protests.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

BANDERAS: And those are pretty cheap, too. So, I think, in the end, I think we can look back and say, if you have a gun, great, because she has security detail, which I believe are armed.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: But I mean, if you think about the people that were at these BLM protests that actually trespassed on the property of the McCloskeys, and they did not get charged. So, where is Cori Bush's uproar on that?

GUTFELD: Right.

BANDERAS: Oh, I can't believe it didn't get charged for trespassing, but they can't stand there with a gun. And if they hadn't stood there with the gun, they're probably going to be robbed or looted. And like --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Cori was there, right? Cori was actually --

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: She was at that protest.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.

BANDERAS: And I'm not saying that she was throwing bricks.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: But let's just say that these BLM protesters are not all peaceful.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

BANDERAS: As we know, you were pretty much run out of town in New York City.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

BANDERAS: Right?

GUTFELD: I was hiding in the bushes.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Not the best phrase at this point. But I was -- no, my wife was hiding in the scaffolding and I was hiding somewhere in Westchester.

BANDERAS: Doing something legal somewhere.

GUTFELD: I've been very, very legal.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: At least in some parts of the world.

Buck, welcome to the show. Good to see you not walking your dog in your pajamas.

BUCK SEXTON, CO-HOST, THE CLAY TRAVIS AND BUCK SEXTON SHOW: It's changing them up?

GUTFELD: Yes.

So, what do you make of this? Is this just I hate saying that politicians are hypocrite -- hypocrites because that's like saying water is wet. We get it, we understand it. But this is a kind of breaking new ground.

SEXTON: It's amazing because defund the police is if you were trying to hold a contest for the dumbest political slogan you could possibly come up with, I think this would be pretty high up there. It's so nonsensical.

It's like getting people to march in the streets, and let's all smash ourselves in the face with frying pans. It doesn't make any sense. And we've seen the results of it now. Right now, we've seen what's happened in cities across the country. It's not surprising at all.

But I've say Cori Bush, first of all, amazing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: Those clips, I feel like I'm interrupting what we could have, which is just more Cori Bush clips because it's fantastic to hear what she has to say on it. But you know, there's Maya Wiley here in New York, you said they say they don't want to defund police?

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

SEXTON: They actually there are some on the left who say no, no, we mean actually cut police budgets. They did it in Minneapolis, they did it in Austin, they've done it in a number of cities.

Maya Wiley though happens to live in a roughly $3 million mansion in Brooklyn that (INAUDIBLE) for it, pays for a private security in her neighborhood. So, not a big surprise.

TIMPF: Not social workers?

SEXTON: Not social workers.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) she can calling the social workers. I'm going to be a hypocrite Kat. I actually, I think she would be a barrel of laughs to hang out with for some reason.

TIMPF: I agree.

GUTFELD: I don't know --

TIMPF: I agree. I would hang out with her, and I feel like I would leave loving myself so deeply.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But I am confused just because she is a self-described loud and proud Democratic socialist.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Right. But, you know, removing government funding for police and having citizens fund their own private security is an anarcho-capitalist position.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: That is literally the anarcho-capitalist model for law enforcement.

So, I am confused by that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I'm confused. As a Democratic socialist, how are you having apparently an anarcho-capitalist lifestyle?

BANDERAS: I'm also confused. Is she a nurse or a doctor?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: Or a surgeon?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: I took -- I took -- it took me a while to figure out the analogy.

And what she was saying is you can't have police officers doing two different roles.

BANDERAS: Right.

GUTFELD: Was that what she meant?

BANDERAS: That's what she meant.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: But they actually are doing lots of rules all the time.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Time, yes.

SEXTON: Because they bring up -- because they say well, we need auxiliaries to do more of the rules that they can't do because they're already doing the rules.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Yes.

SEXTON: And then your head explodes when you realize they had no idea

(INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: They want to send social workers to domestic violence call.

TIMF: She also did not get a social worker detail.

SEXTON: I would also say that mental health workers tend not to want to show up to really frightening situations without a law enforcement officer there.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: Because that can get scary.

GUTFELD: Exactly. And on that note, this show is far from scary, except for Kat or robot Kat as we like to call it, because Kat couldn't make it today.

So, we have robot Cat.

TIMPF: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: There in her robot outfit.

TIMPF: Am I convincing?

GUTFELD: Yes, I think so.

All right, up next, Andrew Cuomo is persona non grata, and from his brother, we hear not a.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

ANNOUNCER: "IT'S THE CUOMOS". Wow, staring Andrew and Chris. Cool.

GUTFELD: Yes. Welcome back. Two brothers who love to tussle. One's all hands, the others all muscle. One's chasing girls, the others doing curls.

One brother's buff and the other should be in cuffs. One's on CNN, the other should be in the state pen.

Welcome to "IT'S THE CUOMOS". They're like Cain and Abel except one's a perv and the others on cable.

Tonight's episode after his montages of kissing people got worse reviews and the video of my colonoscopy at Sundance. I didn't have any subtitles.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's remains holed up in his mansion, figuring out how to save his career. That's according to the New York Post which is owned by our parent company Panda Express.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: There is been calls on both sides of the aisle for Cuomo to resign, following the A.G.s report that Cuomo sexually harassed 11 women.

Never mind the calls from children wondering what happened to their grandparents.

Meanwhile, the New York Times report said earlier this year, CNN execs offered Chris Cuomo a leave of absence if he wanted to advise his brother on his growing scandals. Or turn chest and tricep days into a full week.

Little workout joke.

Chris said no, telling the network he'd continue his show while obeying the rule that prevented him from commenting on his brother. Well, that's convenient.

Chris didn't address the report after it hit on Tuesday. But his pal Don Lemon did following this totally normal handoff.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CHRIS CUOMO, ANCHOR, CNN: Our hearts and our thoughts have to go out to the families of these officers who took their own lives.

DON LEMON, HOST, CNN: I'm going to make my witnesses you say.

(CROSSTALK)

CUOMO: Make your witness.

LEMON: And you know what, I love you brother.

CUOMO: I love you, Don Lemon.

LEMON: All right, this is "Don Lemon Tonight".

The calls are getting louder and louder. This is what I'm talking about.

Top Democrats from New York to the White House calling on Governor Andrew Cuomo to resign.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That is as awkward -- that's as awkward as watching a movie with your parents and a sex scene comes on.

God, I hated our home movies.

TIMPF: Oh, my God.

BANDERAS: Or walking --

GUTFELD: Julie, I haven't talked to you about this. We don't talk a lot.

BANDERAS: No, we need to talk much more.

GUTFELD: Actually during the week, we need to talk much more.

BANDERAS: Yes, call me.

GUTFELD: I won't.

BANDERAS: OK.

GUTFELD: Do you think Andrew will step down? I call him Andrew but he's the governor.

BANDERAS: No, I do not. I do not. But I think -- you know, he is a -- as a former narcissist compulsive liar, I have experience on this. So, as a child, maybe high school, college, a little bit of adulthood, I used to lie a lot.

You know about like minor things, like, I got in a car accident when I was 16. I told my dad I got run off the road and hit a telephone pole. The real story is that I was showing off in front of my friends and I whipped into his driveway, missed it completely, and rammed into the tree in the front yard.

He wanted to see the tree or the light pole, and of course, that I got screwed. I shoplifted a couple of times. I was very young though.

TIMPF: Yes.

BANDERAS: And I got caught. And you're like, how did this -- how did this end up in your bag? And I'm like, I didn't put it there. Somebody else must-have.

But these are the kinds of compulsive lies that does not surprise me. He is a compulsive liar.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: So, when you come forward and you say, you know, deny, deny, deny, like when I cheated on my boyfriend once when I was 17 years old, and he was on the phone, while I was talking to other guy I was cheating on him with. And I said that's what you get for eavesdropping. Shame on you.

So, shame on you Love Gov, because I know, for I speak from experience. I mean, but unfortunately, he's going to -- he's going to drag us through the mud along --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: He did that. I think what you're describing should be called a Cuomo, which is when they catch you in a lie, you turn it back on them and go --

(CROSSTALK)

BANDERAS: Always.

GUTFELD: Disgusting.

BANDERAS: I'm telling you, I was a pro. I mean, much, much long ago.

GUTFELD: The much long ago. Yes, all right. All right.

Kat, What if it's -- and so, if he doesn't step down, what does that do to this Me Too movement?

TIMPF: I think it's horrible. Because look, the Me Too movement, this is a perfect example of what it was supposed to fight against. This is a guy in a powerful position, abusing this power to abuse people who don't have power.

And there's this investigation with 11 victims corroborated but, you know, that he did this. So, if he faces no consequences, that is going to be really bad for any woman who is ever in this situation now or in the future. Because if that's not enough, then what would ever be enough?

Because there's some aspects of the Me Too movement, (INAUDIBLE) like Aziz Ansari were just out of control. You know, that stuff. This is -- this is what it was supposed to be about and should be about and why it's important.

So, I certainly just get him. He's got to go. He's -- he had to go. There's seven investigations into him at this point. Go.

GUTFELD: Buck, how does he govern? And I'm talking about Chris Cuomo.

SEXTON: Chris Cuomo.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: Well, pro-Cuomo as we call him.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

SEXTON: Spending a lot of time making sure it hits the macros (INAUDIBLE)

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: But how do you continue doing your job when you can't even cover the news? You can't talk about that -- I mean, obviously, you can talk about the rest, of the retirement homes or the nursing homes.

SEXTON: Oh, this guy's utterly shameless. He thinks he is the governor.

Meaning, he always will be. There's no one else who could ever have the job. He's not going to step down, he's going to force them to try to pull him through the impeachment process, which will take at least 60, maybe 90 days, according to people in New York state politics. I know.

By that point, we'll be deeper into COVID. Maybe we'll have the vaccine passports and all the rest of it. I mean, if you want a sense and the shamelessness, he had a smooch montage video.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: A part of his defense.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Who made that?

SEXTON: He's like, I kiss -- I kiss ladies on the face, on the head, on the foot, on the shoulder, the whole thing, and I was sitting there saying, there you go. He's just like everybody gets a smooch.

Plus, Biden sniffs ladies' heads, let's remember. So, he is -- he is hoping that people will pay much attention to the fact that he's a weirdo.

GUTFELD: But so, here is my -- but this is why I bring up Chris Cuomo a lot is that who comes up with montages? People in TV. The montage is born from people like us, and producers who say we need to show how stupid this person is. Let's show a montage. That was from his -- that had to be from his brother. His brother had to say.

SEXTON: His brother who was helping him with this, by the way.

GUTFELD: Yes.

SEXTON: As well as the Time's Up movement which there are some of the people that were involved early on in trying to -- I mean, this is -- this is part of the game, right?

You have to pay these people to be your consultants because then they're the ones that were at the front -- forefront of the weaponization of Me Too against certain people, Republicans, right. They always want to use it when they want to use it.

As for the movement overall, yes, I mean, if you pay off the right people now, you'll get the expertise of the Time's Up folks. Do you know what I'm talking about? They're the Time's Up crew.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. I was wondering --

SEXTON: They're all started to being consulted on whether this will help Cuomo avoid Me Too. But the Time's Up people are meant to tell us who should get in trouble for Me Too.

GUTFELD: Yes. Bad. It is bad. And also --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: They all work amongst each other.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. And they work -- they work -- they work for Democrats. They don't work for Republicans.

PERINO: To me, this all goes back to 1996 ---'97 Monica Lewinsky.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: When feminist groups decided to side with Bill Clinton over Monica Lewinsky. And the Democrats have never learned their lesson and they continue to pay the price over and over again.

This is not like Andrew Cuomo was on a Zoom, and accidentally, you know, forgot the camera was on, and like whatever happened, like it's not -- this is not Toobin.

One of the things he did was he changed the rules so that the one gal that worked on the state troopers that he had his eye on -- so that she could actually come to work for him. And then, he started to harass her and everybody around Andrew Cuomo knew it.

So, that Chris Cuomo doesn't have to say anything about it is super convenient.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. CNN's had a lot of weird issues lately.

SEXTON: They have no ethics to protect. That makes it a lot easier.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

All right. Up next, the Navy wanted to be more inclusive. But hiding photos made that goal elusive.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: They tried to be diverse but only made things worse. The Navy focused on complexion and sent diversity in the wrong direction.

Last September in an effort to boost diversity among seamen, the Navy announced it would mix of fissile photos and determining officer promotions. Did you hear that? They got rid of the photos. And go with good old fashioned qualification. That way race, ethnicity, and gender wouldn't play a role in hiring.

Again, that's assuming everyone's guilty of conscious and unconscious bigotry. Well, that backfired like a weapon maintained by sailors who spent all their time at diversity training. This week, the Vice Admiral in charge of personnel did an about face it admitted that removing photos actually caused diversity to tank.

And that's because all that was left was experience and credentials to go by. Meaning, at its core wokeness is racist. And like all racism, it's a big dumb waste of time. Unless you're a diversity consultant, then you turn a profit faster than anyone selling earplugs in Kat's apartment building.

So, now, they're reconsidering adding photos back in. The lesson here, when you try too hard to be woke, you end up focusing on race instead of making sure your boats don't crash. I personally demand headshots of every one of my potential minions. Not because I'm racist, but because I don't want anyone working for me to be any more good looking than I am.

Here my latest candidates for my personal assistant, this is Hans, this is Lars, and this is Clive. They're also playing. It's a shame I had to let them all go. But the pigs at my farm upstate were pleased.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Because you murdered them and fed them to the pigs.

GUTFELD: Thank you. Yes.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Thanks, Kat.

GUTFELD: Thank you for explaining that to people at home and abroad. Buck, how you doing? You were in the CIA?

BUCK SEXTON, FORMER CIA ANALYST: I was. Yes, making lattes.

GUTFELD: Making lattes.

SEXTON: That's what we do. The first, the first thing you want every CIA mission is find out we're going to put the coffee machine.

GUTFELD: Fantastic.

SEXTON: Yes, but we know some other stuff too. Some secret squirrel stuff.

GUTFELD: So, here, let me boil this down, when they had the pictures up there, that people thought Oh, my God, people are racist, so they're going to judge everybody by their skin color. And so we should get rid of the pictures of the applicants. That way, it'll be more colorblind. And what happens is all diversity went away because maybe people were going overboard and picking face, picking diverse faces. Is that such a thing? I don't know. You follow me?

SEXTON: Yes, no, I'm following you. I mean, this is what happens in a lot of situations like this, not just -- by the way, it's true across the federal government now. There's a lot of diversity and inclusion. DNI is the, you know, the preferred term now. DNI training. And they're trying to get as many different individuals from certain groups, and these are in places military, CIA, where you'd think that meritocracy would be a thing that we could all agree on.

You just want the best people to make sure that planes aren't blowing up or that we're beating the enemy. But it turns out, there's a lot of stuff that goes on. Here's the issue that it runs into time and again, they want quotas, essentially. But we know we can't have quotas, that's a legal issue. So, they want to get as close to a quota as they can, without actually saying we have a quota.

This is true at Harvard. That's why it's going to Supreme Court right now.

So, they're trying to find a way to make it seem like there's a meritocracy, but diversity is a holistic consideration. When really, if it is just a meritocracy, sometimes they're not going to get the numbers that they want.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

SEXTON: This is what you see here. So, do they want a quota? Or do they not want a quota? They should just be honest about it.

GUTFELD: Exactly. You know, Dana, I would only want a quota for, quota for attractive people.

PERINO: Yes, so how do you judge "THE FIVE?"

GUTFELD: Ooh, that's an excellent, that's an excellent point. I would say that we could use a little more. I'm not going to say anything. Nice try lady. Right and get me off the show.

PERINO: I try a little bit. I think that this is like the government when it comes to this DNI stuff. It's like the guy that constantly is stepping on a rake.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Like, Oh, wait, that didn't work, that didn't work either. And you know, America is more diverse. Just it is happening all across the country.

You just look at demographics all across. So, at some point will actually maybe get to meritocracy.

GUTFELD: It'll, it'll work its way like it's always worked its way forward and there is obviously a happy medium before, between competence and quotas. And it's called letting it happen Kat. Do you think China is worried about this sort of thing?

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

TIMPF: I do, I do not think China is worried about this sort of thing. And when I was reading this, I was like, OK, this isn't even the first time that this has happened. Like, the were pictures and the no pictures and there are pictures and there are no pictures. I'm like, guys, you're doing that? That doesn't. That's not -- you shouldn't be spending that much time doing that, especially because now you're seeing, hey, it's not really working out how you want it to. I think the number one thing, Buck, like you said. You know, you're the Navy, you should really have concern about you know, keeping us safe.

SEXTON: I'm not Navy, by the way.

TIMPF: I think that should be number one.

SEXTON: Ex-CIA.

GUTFELD: You're old Navy.

SEXTON: This is when the left though gets really crazy. Because they'll then -- you know how that for auditions for orchestras, they came up with a blind, the blind audition, meaning that it's just the music, who's best?

And then you have to have people from you know, left wing online, you know, magazine stuff, write articles about how blind auditions are kind of racist, somehow. They haven't figured out how, but you can only hear them here because they don't get the end result they want of a fully divorced -- you know, diverse orchestra. That's what ends up happening.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: You know, Julie, would it be wiser to just look at people's so social media, is that more important than their face?

JULIE BANDERAS, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: I mean, I guess if you're hiring them, but they're these people -- first of all, this is just P.C. gone awry. And this is just another example of just P.C., which becomes such a pet peeve for me personally, it almost feels like JC Penney add. You know, like when they cast children in JC Penney ads you have every single I mean, it's so intentional.

GUTFELD: Right, right, right.

BANDERAS: When you're shooting seamen, like pictures. What I'm saying is, when you take pictures of seamen, OK --

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: Colors shouldn't matter.

GUTFELD: You're right. Color shouldn't matter in seamen. Thank you for your service.

BANDERAS: Military, thank you.

GUTFELD: Thank you for your service. Up next, Biden extends the eviction pause, even though it's against our laws.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Biden's brain takes a knee as he turns the law over to the CDC.

And without the CDC turns out the lights on 245 years and property rights.

The Biden administration has extended the eviction pause, the Supreme Court already ruled they lacked the authority to do. Here's King Joe saying they can't do what they just did.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The bulk of the constitutional scholarship says that it's not likely to pass constitutional muster.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's the legal expertise of a man who finished in the top half of the bottom third of the last five people in his class. Sounds like he could use a lesson in civics from a man named Tucker.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TUCKER CARLSON, FOX NEWS HOST: The CDC does not make laws in this country.

It's not allowed to. Under the U.S. Constitution, making laws is an exclusive role of the Congress. You vote for your Senators and your Congressmen and they decide what the rules are. That's known as Representative Democracy. It's been our system for nearly 250 years. But apparently, it's now over.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, the Supreme Court said no, but that didn't stop King Joe. Two weeks to flatten the curve has become I can't believe they have the nerve.

But as you know, rule of law is the only thing that separates America from third world countries. As one president once said: Every country faces challenges to the rule of law, including my own. But that was President Joe Biden. Who knew that he was bragging? Makes you think, doesn't it? Hence the silence?

BANDERAS: I don't think, so no.

GUTFELD: Dana, you are -- you're all over this story before everyone else was. I have a question, is there a penalty for openly violating a supreme?

And if not, then why are we, why do we have a Supreme Court?

PERINO: Well, well, I think Brett Kavanaugh learned something which is that he was trying to be conciliatory and say like we get I know that the Congress needs to change the law, but let's give you a few weeks or a couple months to, to do that. Which was very nice. And the right came after him. Like how dare you do this, but the left was like, OK, that's very nice of you, thank you. Then, they forgot about it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Like they literally forgot about it until three days before the moratorium was supposed to end. And that's when Cori Bush --

GUTFELD: There you go.

PERINO: Call back to the A block. Sleeps on the steps of the Capitol.

GUTFELD: Dirty.

PERINO: For several nights. Actually couldn't even lie down because that's against the rules, you had to like sit standing up. She had double stuffed Oreos, the whole thing, like, like an encampment. And what happens? Joe Biden wasn't going to extend this moratorium. Pelosi wasn't going to extend it. And they all caved to her. So, how can they not say that she is not the leader of the Democratic Party?

GUTFELD: She's the face of the party.

PERINO: And they know that's illegal. They -- he said he wasn't going to forum shop. He said that, it goes -- I've looked around and constitutional scholars to figure out what I can do. And now what's going to happen is you have so many landlords across America. These are not people who are Warren Buffett. A lot of these people, that's how they make their living. They've not been able to pay their bills.

There's this one lady, older lady. This is how she makes her living to supplement her social security. And she hasn't been able to pay. She's asked for donations from family and friends to help her pay the mortgage.

And that doesn't even begin to pay for the damage that's been done to her property for the last 18 months. This is a takings and someone needs to sleep on the steps of the Capitol for her. And I nominate you.

GUTFELD: Why? You know I love to rough it.

PERINO: What?

GUTFELD: I don't know what that means.

BANDERAS: Sleep on hard surfaces.

GUTFELD: I love to sleep on a hard surface.

TIMPF: He never sleeps sometimes.

GUTFELD: Yes, like fixed chest. You know, why don't they have a moratorium on their, on their mortgages? Why won't the bank's go for that?

PERINO: Right.

BANDERAS: The, the National Apartment Association is basically now filing a complaint on behalf of landlords which by the way 30 percent of landlords and homeowners are actually within the poor and moderate portion of this country. And that's what's so despicable.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: Because these people are not wealthy. They're not Warren Buffett's. You're absolutely right. So, where's the protection there?

GUTFELD: Exactly. But the thing is, the banks are in bed with the Democrats, so you're not going to get a moratorium on those mortgages, are you? Kat, you know what drive some crazy? The word landlord. It's, it was like invented back when we were wearing calfskin underpants. There's no -- why can't -- there's got to be, you can demonize a landlord because it's a lord, right? But if you came up with -- Democrats are so good at coming up with words, like, you know, instead of illegal immigrant, undocumented citizen, whatever, why doesn't the Republicans come up with a word for landlord like happy rent guy?

TIMPF: Happy? I don't think that one would stick, unfortunately, but we can workshop it later. I just think the unfair thing about all of this, in terms of this pandemic, is he's making these rules that are not going to have any consequences for them themselves.

GUTFELD: Right?

TIMPF: None of these politicians have to worry about their livelihoods.

They don't have to worry about their homes. They only -- the only consequences they have to worry about our political consequences. So, of course, they're going to say, we'll be the ones and then so then the other people are the ones that want to throw you out of your home.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: And the ironic thing is the only reason that people are at risk of that is because it's Democrats who have been for these pro-long lockdowns that will not allow people to work so that they can pay their rent.

GUTFELD: It's a, it's a vicious cycle.

TIMPF: Yes, it is.

GUTFELD: It's a terrible vicious cycle.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Buck, Tucker, I think said that we've nationalized rent.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Is that what's happening? Are we at that point?

SEXTON: I mean, we're seeing the Marxist impulse the Democrat Party on full display. They're using the fact that people I think have become both compliant and obviously very afraid those two things go hand in hand. So, the government's been getting away with a lot more than it had. And some of us, for the last 18 months have been saying, watch out for the incrementalism here, watch out for you know, just two weeks turns into just two months, turns into just, you know, yes, we're going to give two more months of the moratorium. Whatever it may be, they've already started to make noises about how we have to use the same mentality we have now to go after climate change.

GUTFELD: Right.

SEXTON: To go after gun violence or in this case, it's essentially wealth inequality they think that they're dealing with. But as Julie pointed out, it's very true. For a lot of people there are retirees who they got to pay the mortgage and maybe they're getting a few $100 a month in free cash flow and they're being told you know, screw it. You know what, just go sell it to like Blackstone or some private equity billionaires out there. They'll take it off your hands real cheap and they'll handle it later on because they'll have the political clout to get people tossed out who can't. So, it's not a good scene right now but I also think that Kavanaugh shouldn't fallen in the trap here which is never think that Democrats act in good faith.

GUTFELD: Right, right.

SEXTON: What is he doing? What did he find he fall?

PERINO: He learned the lesson.

GUTFELD: No such thing as temporary with the leftists, everything is permanent like mail in voting. Up next, which nerd can now boast? They're the new "Jeopardy" host.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: "Jeopardy" is rumored to have a new host. And if true, Ken Jennings is toast. Hurray. "Jeopardy" executive producer Mike Richards is reportedly in advanced negotiations to take over the show as its permanent host. Well, he could be the best "Jeopardy" host since Richard Dawson. But the actual deal may take a while as all the negotiations are in the form of a question. I've got a smattering of humor.

Now, "Jeopardy" has seen a slew of guest host since Alex Trebek passed away including Dr. Oz, why? Katie Couric. And of course, Ken Jennings. The show's highest winning and most famous contestant, who is also a jerk, so if he's out of the running, that would be great news. I'd also know exactly which show should deserve credit.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Who should, who shouldn't? What do you think --

TIMPF: I hate Ken Jennings. I hate it. I hate it. He mocked a woman because she was excited about the Alf reboot.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: Because she had a special needs son who until he died at 24. One of the few joys he had was watching out so he just decides to mock her because she had a MAGA in her bio. So, he mocks the woman in a horrible situation for trying to find a little joy somewhere and then also to add insult to injury also mocks Alf.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Kat, that was your younger sister Karen who's now in prison. She a triple homicide.

TIMPF: He didn't do it.

GUTFELD: Oh, OK. She was covered in blood.

TIMPF: She was framed though.

GUTFELD: She had the three, three heads in her trunk of a car.

TIMPF: She was framed. She was framed and you'll, you'll see.

GUTFELD: All right.

TIMPF: You'll see.

GUTFELD: Are you proud that Ken Jennings is gone?

TIMPF: Yes, he's a jerk. Yes, he's a jerk. And Alf is excellent.

GUTFELD: OK. Dana, you were on "Jeopardy." Are you glad about this decision?

PERINO: Most nervous I've ever been on "Jeopardy." I loved Alf. I think that one of the things that's very annoying about companies is when they do a big search, and then they hire from within. Annoying.

GUTFELD: It is annoying it is. And it's like he's the guy who makes the final decision, right? He's the executive producer, Buck. This stinks to high heaven.

SEXTON: I think, it's a, it's a big missed opportunity. Because if we're looking for somebody with game show host hair, there are better options out there. There are better options. It's like a Lego helmet. It just comes on and off.

GUTFELD: That is true. Yes, it never changes.

SEXTON: No.

GUTFELD: I've known you for like 12 years. It's the same hair.

SEXTON: Same since I was about 4-years-old, I think.

GUTFELD: That's amazing.

SEXTON: It never goes out of style, never goes in style either, Greg.

GUTFELD: Julie, have you ever watched "Jeopardy"? Your life's in jeopardy.

BANDERAS: I have but I mean, who knows Mike Richards?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I don't know. I mean, it just seems like they needed bigger names

GUTFELD: Like Michael Richards?

BANDERAS: But then, maybe they don't really care, perhaps? But maybe perhaps they don't really care much about ratings either because they did have Dr. Oz. And I think that was probably the lowest rated week that --

GUTFELD: Right, right.

BANDERAS: -- they had substitute host?

GUTFELD: Yes.

BANDERAS: I mean, who would want to watch Dr. Oz? Period. But for an hour of asking questions.

GUTFELD: I don't even know how did he get picked? I don't know. That show was so successful, though. It's amazing. Everybody watches that show.

BANDERAS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Except for, well, anyway. Where am I going with this topic? Am I done? Yes, don't go away. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: I don't love that I have to keep bringing this up. But before we go, just a quick reminder that.

ANNOUNCER: "ANIMALS ARE JERKS. ANIMALS ARE JERKS. ANIMALS ARE JERKS."

GUTFELD: Check out this cat is a total a-hole. I mean, seriously, why would you do that? You're a cat. You just keep doing you know it's just like the cats is minding his own business. And you just do that. And then the other cat just takes it. Apparently, this went on for 40-50 hours. Anyway, that's why.

ANNOUNCER: "ANIMALS ARE JERKS. ANIMALS ARE JERKS. ANIMALS ARE JERKS."

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to the wonderful Dana Perino, the lovely and talented Julie Banderas, Buck Sexton, Kat Timpf, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America. I do.

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