Gutfeld on Trump's nomination for Nobel Peace Prize

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Gutfeld on Trump's nomination for Nobel Peace Prize

This is a rush transcript from “The Five," September 9, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS ANCHOR: Hello, everyone. I am Juan Williams, along with Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Jesse Watters, and Kennedy. It is 5:00 in New York City, and this is The Five. President Trump firing back against accusations that he intentionally misled the country. It comes after veteran journalist Bob Woodward released audio of interviews with the president for his new book.

Woodward writes that the president, back in February, knew COVID-19 was, quote, "deadly" and worse than the flu, and then said this in March.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, UNITED STATES PRESIDENT: Well, I think Bob really, to be honest with you --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Sure. I want you to be.

TRUMP: I wanted to -- I wanted to always play it down. I still like playing it down, because I don't want to create a panic.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: President Trump responding earlier today.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: I am a cheerleader for this country. I love our country. And I don't want people to be frightened. I don't want to create panic, as you say. And certainly, I'm not going to drive this country or the world into a frenzy. We want to show confidence. We want to show strength. We want to show strength as a nation. And that's what I have done. And we have done very well.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Dr. Anthony Fauci saying today he never got the sense that President Trump was misleading Americans.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANTHONY FAUCI, NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH: I didn't get any sense that he was distorting anything. I mean, in my discussions with him, they were always straightforward about the concerns that we had. We related that to him. And when he would go out, I would hear him discussing the same sort of things.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WILLIAMS: Dana, let me start with you. I was thinking historically that, you know, FDR was straight with America after Pearl Harbor, President Bush straight with Americans after 9/11. But we're getting a situation now where the White House is defending President Trump as wanting to avoid creating a sense of panic. Joe Biden says that was a betrayal. What do you think?

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, I think that -- of course, the White House is going to defend. That's what he's going to do. I look at this in three different buckets. The first bucket is from a communications standpoint. People might ask why in the world would you sit down with Bob Woodward for 18 hours on tape. I'm going to explain that in just a moment.

Second bucket is what is said and how is that going to be used? And the third bucket is what is their best defense, and they have a really good one. And I'll get to that. Let me tell you the first one. When I was in the Bush administration, Bob Woodward wrote, I think, four or five books. And we would alternate on what he wouldn't cooperate, turned out bad.

Next one, you cooperate, still turned out bad. Third one, you just -- you tried to figure out a way to handle it. The first Woodward book that came out, Rage, it got a lot of negative press for President Bush. Of course, he overcame that. But all of that was anonymous sources, right? You kind of figured out who they were. But it was anonymous. So what do they decide to do this time?

Why not have the president himself talk to Bob Woodward and do it -- here's the thing. The fact that he does it on tape and that you hear the president saying that, that will be used a lot by his opponents. Now, if you love President Trump, you will have a very charitable view of what was said on this tape. But of course, he was trying to do that.

And of course, this, and of course, that. Now, the Biden people -- remember in the Democratic national convention, their mainline of attack against him on Coronavirus was it didn't have to be this bad. So you can you imagine they will take that line, marry it up with this audio from the Woodward book and use it. Now, to my third point is what is sort of their best defense?

It turns out to be somebody that they've had an on again off again, but I would say mostly on relationship with Dr. Anthony Fauci. Dr. Fauci is somebody who has said from the beginning that the president was listening to him, even when the White House tried in a couple of different ways to distance or, you know, sort of diss Dr. Fauci. He's always come back up, because he has this incredible popularity and incredible credibility with the American people.

And what happens, the first thing today when this came out is Dr. Anthony Fauci is on our air and he says no. That's not my recollection. That's not how I saw it. And then you have the president trying to explain it. I think that for this particular leak out of the Woodward book they are handling it probably as best they can.

But they have to know that the Biden team is going to use this and is going to marry it exactly with the line of attack that they wanted use in the convention. Sorry, I took so long.

WILLIAMS: I think -- yeah -- no, no, I think you were insightful. Thank you. Jesse, I just want to pick on some of this now from the Woodward book. It said that the president was told by his national security adviser in late January that this was a serious threat to the homeland that people could die. So if that's the case, should he have acted decisively in February to shut things down, tell people to wear masks, wash their hands? Would that have saved thousands of lives?

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: Fauci and Birx didn't tell him to shut it down in February. They told him to shut it down in March. And within 24 hours, Juan, he shut it down. Different presidents prepare the country differently for crisis. The Bush administration had warnings that there was going to be a humongous financial crisis.

They were methodical, professional, mature about it. And so they didn't create a run on the banks where people went out and withdrew their entire savings into cash and put it under their mattresses. JFK panics the country during the nuclear standoff with the Soviets, told everybody to go build useless bomb shelters and had kids hiding under their desks in the classroom to prepare for nuclear Armageddon.

People prepare the country differently. What did FDR said? You brought it up yourself, Juan. He said you have nothing to fear but fear itself. And the president was saying don't fear. He was calm. He was confident, because he didn't want to create a panic. And he said so much in March on tape. So this is not that big of a bombshell.

If you go back to January, right after the briefing on the Coronavirus, this is the in middle of an impeachment trial. If the president had all of a sudden called a massive news conference and said listen. There could be a major pandemic coming out of China. We don't have a cure for it. We don't know what causes it. We don't know where it came from, how it got here, if China's going to be able to contain it, if we're going to be able to contain it.

But I just want to let you know. That would cause complete pandemonium in this country. And the media would say he is just trying to distract from impeachment. Instead, what he did was he formed a task force, slapped on travel bans to China and Europe, started acquiring PPEs, started to manufacture testing kits and things like that, asked Congress for money, briefed Congress.

So then when he was told to shut it down, he did immediately. I don't think this is a big scandal. I don't think it's going to change one opinion in this country.

WILLIAMS: OK. Let's see if it changed Greg's opinion. Greg, one of the key issues here in the Woodward book is that the president said, oh, you know, this is like the flu. Even though he had been told that it was not like the flu and said to Woodward this is far more deadly than the flu. So why did he keep saying this is like the flu?

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Well, I think -- first, let's go back to your incorrect comparison to Pearl Harbor and 9/11. Those were both immediate acute events. We didn't need information to be managed by our world leader. We saw what was happening. However, this was -- this -- what we're dealing right now which is called a novel virus for a reason.

It's new. It was a slow-rolling phenomenon, all right, in which uncertainty played a huge role. And get this. When the experts were often wrong, they told us untruths about the masks. They said we should not close borders.

They said a lot of things. They said go about your lives normally, remember that? Go to the parades. You know what? Still go on those cruises.

Experts were actually saying that. So a lot of this stuff was adjusted. Now, I'm going to make two obvious points here. One, when the Atlantic story from this weekend fell apart, I said that was the first bombshell of, like, 50 that were going to hit. Well, this is the second bombshell, except it's a booger dressed as a bombshell. It's nothing.

And the reason why it's nothing is it's so obviously nothing. Trump told Woodward that information, because to him it was an obvious truth that leaders know stuff that sometimes they keep from the public that they have to manage because that is their role as a leader so you don't make it worse. There is the comfortable and well known phrase, keep calm and carry on.

It's well known for a reason. Experts, experts that I talked to, personally, every time I talk to them, said the panic can be worse than the pandemonium. I sometimes disagreed. But when a doctor -- when a doctor sees a spot on your x-ray, he doesn't run in and say my god you have cancer, you are going to die. He says hold on a second. This could be dense tissue.

We want to look at it again. But imagine if the media, if the media were your doctor. Every single x-ray might be cancer. Sources say you could be dead in six months. I've got -- I've confirmed anonymous sources that you may have HIV. You want to find out more? You're going to have to tune in at 8:00 and find out. And then, that's when we tell you, well, you know what? We exaggerated a little bit.

But at least, we got you to watch. This entire story is based on ginning up people so they can run to their TV's, and go, oh my god. My hair is on fire again. And lastly, I want to throw to a montage of what the press was saying at the time Trump was shutting down travel. Roll montage.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GOV. ANDREW CUOMO (D-NY): -- what happened in countries versus what happened here. We don't even think is going to as bad as it was in other countries.

NANCY PELOSI, HOUSE SPEAKER: Come to Chinatown. Here we are. We're, again, careful and safe. Come join us.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Half of the people in America do not get a flu shot and the flu right now is far deadlier. So if you are freaked out all about the Coronavirus, you should be more concerned about the flu.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And for the vast majority of New Yorkers, life is going on pretty normally right now, and we want to encourage that.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: All wrong.

WILLIAMS: Of course, none of them are the president of the United States.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He was more right than they were.

WILLIAMS: Kennedy, the book also says that Jim Mattis, the former Dense Secretary, describes Trump as unfit to be commander-in-chief and says that former DNI Coates said that he thought Putin had something on Trump. What do you make of all of this?

LISA KENNEDY MONTGOMERY, FOX NEWS HOST: Now, they're a bunch of regular Adam Schiff's. Well, President Obama knew a lot about Russian infiltration in the election and didn't tell the American people about it. I will say about Coronavirus, first of all, you should always be sceptical of what government officials are telling you, especially when they want to get re- elected regardless of party.

Second of all, people were already panicked, even though every politician was telling them to calm down. Do you still have a hard time finding Clorox wipes and toilet paper? Yes, because that was the kind of behavior people were engaged in, even though every public official they had in their city and state and federally was telling them to calm down.

My -- I am not concerned about how people got it wrong. Everyone got it wrong. Scientists -- the science was all over the place. And there was so much contradiction and disagreement within the science alone, not to mention politicians who were interfacing with doctors and researchers. What I want to know now, I don't care about Joe Biden's Monday morning quarterbacking on the missteps from the president on down.

What I want to know right now, how are you keeping my children safe? How is this fall and winter going to play out, and how are you keeping my personal economy protected from further disaster? That's the most important thing. That's what we should be focusing on.

WILLIAMS: OK. Greg is up next, folks. He's going to talk about President Trump being nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. You don't want to miss it on The Five.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Did you hear? Donald Trump was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. We went to CNN for comment. Oh, dear. We went to Rachel Maddow for comment. We went to the Washington Post for comment. True, in a decision sure to entice smirks from the media and political class, Trump's been nominated for brokering a landmark peace deal between Israel and the United Arab Emirates, this after bringing Serbia and Kosovo to the table as well.

It's this thaw between Arab and Jew that Dems could never do, because decent the left relevant. But for the non-ideologue with no sunk cost in the past, Trump is the right man to un-muddle the Middle East. Imagine the poor CNN viewer always told how Trump hates Jews and Muslims. And yet, it's Trump and his Jewish son-in-law bringing Muslims and Jews together. How can this be?

Well, CNN viewers, it's their business model. Without division, CNN's got nothing. But let's not forget North Korea. The media wants you to. But remember, before Trump, that nation was on the verge of nuking us. Then Trump upended that psychology. Now, North and South Korea are kind of talking. And no one in Hawaii thinks they're going to die. Of course, Trump won't win the prize.

He is despised by the cool kids at the cafeteria table, which is why they're more obsessed with hearsay and private conversations than his deeds, deeds that brought us less war and more peace. So now, the whiners falsely blame Trump's rhetoric for the pandemic as well the violence in Democrat-led cities. It's all the left has left, distorting Trump's words because his deeds speak for themselves.

Kennedy, I've been saying this all along. I will take the most obnoxious person in the world if they bring peace to the world. Isn't that what Trump is doing?

MONTGOMERY: I think, actually, he does best on foreign policy. And I agree. There is a lot about the way he comports himself personally and digitally that is not that rad (ph). And he leaves a lot to be desired with his personality. But 15 people said that during the Republican national convention. But you do have to look at the proof in his foreign policy and give him credit where credit is due.

And please don't try and diminish that deal between UAE and Israel. That's a very big deal, because UAE is looking at a future beyond fossil fuels. And, you know, if that's what it takes to normalize relations with Israel, is economic prosperity in the future, I will take that brand of peace any day. And, you know, if you take him out of it and look at the accomplishments, I think he deserves prize.

GUTFELD: Dana, from a scale of 1, being banana, to 1,343, which means awesome banana, where would you put this peace accord?

PERINO: Well, I think that -- one, he is certainly is more deserving of it than the aspirational geopolitical participation trophy that was given to President Obama, even before he was in office. So there's that. But I also think that this UAE is real deal. While some people might say, well, they weren't in conflict directly.

I actually think that this deal is important. But I think that what it portends for the future is even more important, because you're going to have other countries within the Middle East follow -- hopefully follow the UAE's lead.

GUTFELD: Juan, it's 39 years, I believe, since we've initiated -- it's been the longest -- the only president in 39 years not to initiate a military conflict. You have got to like that, right?

WILLIAMS: You know, I think this deal, you know, potentially could be good news, although I noticed that the other Arab countries, the Palestinians have not embraced it.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS: Not a country.

WILLIAMS: Hundreds of people get nominated -- hundreds of people get nominated for a Nobel Prize every year. In fact, the same right wing politician who nominated Trump for this one also nominated for 2018 for working with North Korea and Kim Jong-Un is still -- still firing missiles off and stilly trying to create trouble. So I don't get it.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: -- in the Woodward book, he is still doing it --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: -- in the Woodward book, they have a scene in which -- you get the president saying when he met Kim Jong-Un, he knew it was going to work. It's like you meet a special woman. In a second, you know if it's going to happen. Oh my, god. This is too much.

GUTFELD: Yeah, it's called words. But we're trying to focus on the deeds. Jesse, what do you make of this?

WATTERS: I reviewed all of the winners since 1904. And here's my summary, Greg.

GUTFELD: OK.

WATTERS: There are some obvious choices. You have FDR. You have George Marshall, Mandela, MLK, and then you have some major snubs, Dean Acheson, Bretton Woods. I'd even have given it to 41 for the cold war, even Reagan. And then you have people that you scratch your head like Barack Obama, and then there's people you've just never heard. They push papers at U.N.

Who knows what they did? They wrote a book or something. But if you look at the presidency so far just subjectively, if you lower the temperature on the Korean Peninsula, if you remove troops from Germany, from Syria, from Afghanistan, and Iraq, you decimate ISIS, you do a peace deal with Arabs, and you do a peach deal with Kosovo.

Objectively speaking, that is enough to qualify you for this, because the criteria done the best work for the fraternity of nations, the abolition of reduction of standing armies, and for holding the promotion of peace congresses. I agree with Kennedy. I would send his mouth to The Hague. But I would give the results the Peace Prize.

GUTFELD: Somebody got to bed early, because you did quite a lot of research there, Jesse.

WATTERS: Johnny did it.

GUTFELD: Poor Johnny. He deserves a Nobel Prize for being your assistant.

PERINO: No kidding.

GUTFELD: All right. Is President Trump on the verge of a comeback? Up next, why Democrats are worrying about a 2016 repeat.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: Is President Trump poised for a big comeback? Democrats getting worried as polls in key battleground states are tightening. The Wall Street Journal laying out one way Trump can win, writing, quote, "He will have to make the election about more than himself or even his first term record. He has to make the election a choice about two futures rather than two men."

Meanwhile, a desperate Joe Biden appearing to steal a page from Trump on the economy, here he is pitching a made in America platform in Michigan.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE BIDEN (D) PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE: Under Donald Trump, Michigan lost auto jobs even before COVID hit. We're going to impose a tax penalty on companies that avoid paying U.S. taxes by off-shoring jobs and manufacturing. I am not looking to punish American business, but there is a better way. Make it in Michigan. Make it in America. Invest in our communities and the workers in places like Warren.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: All right. I mean, he plagiarized the exact tax made in America deal that President Trump talked about in Minnesota on August 17th. It's the exact same thing. Juan, do you think that Joe Biden can really talk about bringing manufacturing jobs back when Obama-Biden lost 200 manufacturing jobs? And after championing the NAFTA, WETO, and China most favored nation status.

We've lost so many factories, so many manufacturing jobs. Why -- where does Joe Biden come off saying he is for made in America?

WILLIAMS: Well, I guess it was President Trump who pledged to bring back manufacturing jobs. And if you were Joe Biden, Jesse --

WATTERS: And he did. He brought back 400,000 --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: -- let me finish, Jesse, because before you spin, he failed miserably at bringing back manufacturing jobs --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS: The Wall Street Journal, a conservative editorial page, has admitted something that my friends don't want to seem to admit, which is Joe Biden has a strong lead in this election, and the American people disapprove of the president's performance, and some cases, even his personality. But the key point that I think is that if they want to have a debate on policy, on taxes, on education, and the like.

They should listen to what Joe Biden said today that, in fact, if you look at the tax cuts, if you look at the failure to bring back jobs, President Trump is going to have a hard time even with a debate on policy.

WATTERS: OK. Well, again, Juan, the Fox News brain room tells me that before the pandemic, the president brought back 400,000 manufacturing jobs, and under Biden and Obama, they lost 200,000. Those are facts. That's not spin.

WILLIAMS: Oh, please.

WATTERS: Kennedy, what do you think about Joe Biden kind of going to Michigan and being the blue-collar made in America type of guy?

MONTGOMERY: Well, he's got a couple of things going for him. One, he's very popular with unions, and that's what he's going after with this kind of talk. He's directly going after union membership. Remember, they voted for President Trump in 2016. Union leadership voted for Hillary Clinton because she was the status quo establishmentarian.

And so, that's who Biden is making the big play for because his margins were so narrow in places like Michigan and Pennsylvania. And you know, both men talk about this being a transformative election and how it's the most important election of our lifetime, but they are essentially saying the same thing.

But what Americans want, believe it or not, they want lower taxes. They want economic freedom. They want that to lead to personal prosperity and that is a good thing. There's absolutely no way that Joe Biden's policies will do that. Both men are talking the exact same with economic populism, but they're not talking about responsible spending, and stewardship, which is only going to increase the size of the federal government and the reach into your lives. That should be a much bigger problem for Joe Biden.

WATTERS: Yes, responsible spending. That ship sailed a couple years ago.

MONTGOMERY: They're not talking it. Neither one of them.

WATTERS: Dana, your thoughts.

PERINO: Well, I think that candidate brings up such a good point, a great reminder about the union support and those voters who had been Obama, Trump voters. And Biden has to spend a lot of time and energy and money in Michigan to try to get them back into the Democratic camp.

And I think that you see the fact that the -- one, the money that Biden is spending there, two, that he went there, that's significant. But also, there's a big Senate race there. Senator Gary Peters is the incumbent, he's a Democrat, but John James is the Republican candidate. And polls are starting to show that that race is within the margin of error. And Dems are realizing, wow, we actually might have to fight a lot harder here in Michigan than we thought.

WATTERS: Greg, don't you dare toss anything during the segment. I will kill you. Go ahead, though.

GUTFELD: Well, OK, we have to be -- start off from the obvious point that Joe Biden is a terrible candidate. The guy -- the main focus of his acceptance speech, which was the national mask mandate, he's now walked away from. The only reason why you plagiarizes things are those are the only things that work, right. He get -- none of it is his own ideas.

And meanwhile, his V.P. is just getting away with what I would call metaphorically murder. I mean, when she said she's proud of an alleged sex offender who just harassed a terrified woman and then resisted arrest, that she's proud of them, that's got to come up at some point. I don't know when.

But here's my -- I only want to make one point, step back from this whole thing. We seem to realize that in two months, there's going to be a lot of chaos and turmoil, especially if we do not have a decision. And we know this. We know that there's going to be bloodshed. We know there's going to be protests and chaos, and yet nobody is doing anything to prevent this.

And it makes me think it's time. You got 60 days for media companies especially to meet and share their concerns about what's going to happen in November because one group may hate Trump, the other group may hate Biden, but we don't want to see our country implode into civil war. And maybe it's time that everybody who's got the power in the media gets together and decides to dial back the next narratives that are based on race and police and participate against creating dissent and more just focus on facts.

WATTERS: Well, you and I are pretty powerful media members, Greg.

GUTFELD: That's true.

WATTERS: Maybe you and I should get together.

GUTFELD: Maybe tonight. R

WATTERS: Maybe. That's -- let's do it.

GUTFELD: OK.

WATTERS: Up next --

GUTFELD: My place.

WATTERS: -- more anarchy in America's streets. Firefighters chasing down a man of slugged an elderly woman in broad daylight.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

MONTGOMERY: Welcome back. So, what happens when you get rid of these guys? Unbelievable video shows New York City firefighters chasing down a man who slugged an elderly woman in broad daylight. When firefighters saw what happened, they chase down the suspect, tackled him to the ground, and held him there until the police arrived.

This jerk is being charged with assaults and other crimes. He's got a long rap sheets, but those firefighters have some impressive gams. Juan, why do you hate police and firefighters so much?

WILLIAMS: Yes, you know -- you know, I'm interested in this because it seems to me you're showing this video with the thought that because there's miscreant assaulted this woman, somehow it might undermine calls for police reform. I just think that's so weak. You know, we need real police reform. It's going to be tough work. All of us have to stand together to make it happen.

This guy should be in jail. Everybody would agree. Joe Biden would agree. Joe Biden wants more money for the cops so that you can have real police reform. But I guess you think oh, one incident like this oh, this shows -- what do you say -- Democratic cities out of control even though both Democratic and Republican-led cities have seen changes in terms of what's happening in the crime in this country. This -- that to me is like lowball.

MONTGOMERY: Yes, it is low bar. It's the lowest when a guy punches a 60- year-old woman in the face for no reason and then like a coward tries to take off. That is lowball. That's gross. And I know those Republican mayors in Seattle and Portland, you know, they've really lost control.

Greg, speaking of losing control, your neighborhood has really gone down the toilet. Not just because you moved in there, but because there is a sense of lawless lawlessness and that part of Manhattan. But are people no longer putting up with that? Does this show that people are over others getting in their faces and assaulting with this just thoughtless zombie violence?

GUTFELD: I don't -- I honestly feel a sense of hopelessness. Juan doesn't live where I live. He doesn't -- he doesn't walk the streets in New York, so he has no idea. The story is infuriating because the guy is not in jail. There's no bail. So you know, if put -- if you want to put yourself in the place that that might be your mother if you're living in New York, you can't, because the guy is out -- the guys out on the street. They're not locking people up anymore.

You want to talk about reform. That's the reform they're talking about, keeping people out of jail who deserve to be in jail. Why? The whole point of this story is that the fact that there are first responders who are willing to risk their lives to help people, but what if they get in trouble for it, and the criminal is still let loose? What is the point?

What is the point of helping people if they're just going to release the thug back into the street, which is what they did? We're creating an entire class that is immune from crime. That is the end of society. It's very depressing to me I don't even like thinking about it because that's where I live. Sorry.

MONTGOMERY: Yes. And a lot of people are not putting up with it and they are Leaving Manhattan. But, Dana, there's natural argument. Who is superior, cops or firefighters?

PERINO: I don't dare answer that question. I love them all. I love them all.

GUTFELD: Do you?

PERINO: I think that -- Greg, I think I have I've had this idea, but I'm not going to say it on air because it's something I think that we could do as THE FIVE to deal with this bail reform issue. So I'm going to tell -- I'm going to tell you in the commercial break. But I do think that if we were going to make any difference across the country, that I understand that this was well-intentioned, it is not working out in practice. It has to be changed.

GUTFELD: Absolutely.

MONTGOMERY: Jesse?

WATTERS: So, I was at the Duane Reade here in the city over the weekend, just stocking up on hair products obviously. And I'm sitting there at the checkout counter, and all of a sudden, this tweaker comes in. He looks like Antifa. He's got the backpack, real degenerate. And he starts be lining towards the back of the store.

And everybody can notice this guy is a total psychopath. So, the woman behind the counter signals to her colleague in the back, hey, watch this guy, watch this guy. And the next thing you know, the guy comes down rushing in a full sprint with four cases of white claw. And he just runs out of the store.

And I think to myself, should I kick this guy in the knee? So, he trips and falls, and then we can call the cops? I didn't do that. But then the woman leaves the counter, and she comes out around with her phone and she catches the guy load up the four cases a claw onto one of those city bikes and starts just pedaling down the street. She snaps a picture and there was a cane in the garbage can. I thought about taking the cane like a javelin and then tossing it, so it hits the guy's front spoke, and then he flips out and falls.

My point is this.

PERINO: Yes, please.

WATTERS: You don't want vigilante Jesse, OK. You want trained professionals handling crime, not me.

MONTGOMERY: Yes, you are our Bernard Goetz, very brave. And Jesse, I have to point out there's no laws when there's claws so technically wasn't breaking any. We've got more FIVE coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Welcome back. From President to podcaster, Bill Clinton will be launching a new podcast in early 2021. Now, Greg, we were early on the podcast game. He's a little late. He's a little late to the game, but hey, what do you think?

GUTFELD: I hear it's going to come in a zip file. This is a podcast where the host will literally be on the server. I saw his guest list in October. He is going to have Miss October. In November, he's having Miss November. And December, he's having Miss December.

PERINO: I mean, at least you always know what you're up -- you know, but you're going to be doing. Jesse, is this a podcast you will definitely tune into?

WATTERS: I've never listened to one podcast. I just want to chime in on the debate between firemen and cops. T. Roy says this. God created firemen so cops would have heroes.

PERINO: I don't know, T. Roy. I don't know, T. Roy. OK, so you're not in for the podcast. What about you, Kennedy? I mean, this is -- this guy, he wants to work. He likes to get out there, not just going to retire.

MONTGOMERY: I think he just wants to get out of the house. Can you imagine the loop that Hillary's on day and night? It was the Russians. It was Facebook. It was the Latvian bot farms. And he's like, I got my headphones, I'm doing a podcast, I can't hear you. I do think that this space is a little bit crowded, and also, his voice isn't very strong. If you hear him speak, he doesn't have a captivating voice. And I think that's going to be problematic for him. Too many leftists in this space right now. Leave it to Chelsea.

PERINO: It is interesting. I did think about the voice as well. But, Juan, he's a pretty good storyteller.

WILLIAMS: Oh, yes. I think Hillary Clinton famously said that when she met Bill Clinton, they started a conversation that's never ended, Dana, so I think he's a great talker. But I'm taken by T. Roy. I hope that he can tell Jesse how many manufacturing jobs have been lost because of Trump.

PERINO: I love all the callbacks. OK, Greg, do you have -- do you want to call for some sort of montage?

GUTFELD: No. As for the podcast, I think Bill Clinton was just putting it out there.

PERINO: Yes, that's what happens. All right, another story we're following. Call it breaking up with the Kardashians. After 20 seasons and 14 years on the air, Keeping Up with the Kardashians will finally be coming to an end. Jesse, you have never listened to a podcast. I have never watched a single episode -- not even a single minute of the Kardashian show. Have I been missing a lot?

WATTERS: Why would you assume that I've watched the Kardashians?

PERINO: Am I wrong?

WATTERS: You are. You are. I've never watched an episode. I've caught a minute or two when I'm flicking around. But their ratings tanked. I think they added one point 10 million an episode, now, it's under a million. I mean, THE FIVE blows them away. It's not even close.

PERINO: Greg, is this a great blow to pop culture in America?

GUTFELD: I don't know. I'd like to say, don't let the door hit you're behind on the way out but that's a physical impossibility.

PERINO: Juan, will you miss the Kardashians?

WILLIAMS: And never watched them. It's like -- for me, it's like what are they famous for? But their success, obviously, they're all billionaires. I mean, unbelievably successful.

PERINO: I think Greg just explained it.

WILLIAMS: Oh, you think that's it? All right, OK.

PERINO: I don't know. Look, I don't know. A lot of people love them. Kennedy, have I been wrong all this time? Should I watch the reruns?

MONTGOMERY: Watch the older episodes. They're actually much more entertaining because Kim was the golden calf. And now it's Kylie, and Kylie doesn't want to be in the show anymore. She's supposedly, at least on paper, a billionaire. She got so much money. It hurts her every time she goes on the show.

Courtney is out. She's raising her kids. And now, Kim is dealing with her own personal turmoil with her husband. She's worried about his mental health. So, they've made $250 million from A, for the show. I think they're fine. No one has to be sad.

PERINO: I think that the Kardashians are ready to move on and so are we America. "ONE MORE THING" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS: It's time now for one more thing. G.G., you kick it off. All right, Kennedy, Exene says hello. She just e-mailed me. All right, my podcast --

MONTGOMERY: I love Exene.

GUTFELD: It's Brett Weinstein, evolutionary psychology professor. We talked about so much stuff. I just tweeted it. Now, let's do this. Greg's unity news. You know, we have a lot of discontent going around. And sometimes the thing -- the best way to solve it is for people with different types getting together and having a meal like this squirrel and this groundhog sharing some nuts. And then out of nowhere, who brings the corn? This little chipmunk?

You know, he knew that it was potluck. So he says I'm going to bring a little cob with me. There he goes. Anyway, oh learn an (AUDIO GAP)

WILLIAMS: J.W., you're up.

WATTERS: J.W. has some birthday news to announce. I want to wish someone a very special birthday and that is Rookie Watters. Rookie Watters turns two today. I don't know what that is in dog years. I never understood that.

GUTFELD: 14.

WATTERS: I don't get dog years. It makes no sense to me. But Rookie, there he is on his birthday. He's chewing a little bone that we got him. And if you want to see more of Rookie, go to his Instagram page.

GUTFELD: Of course.

WATTERS: @Rookie Watters, two T's, check him out.

WILLIAMS: Dana, what do you got today?

PERINO: Well, you know, I'm a huge tennis player. I'm just -- I'm like, truly amazing. And I didn't go to the U.S. Open because I would rather be here, of course, working. Now, I just wanted to give a little bit of an update.

So these three women, they are making some history. For the first time ever, three moms are advancing to the quarter finals of a Grand Slam at the U.S. Open. Serena Williams has a daughter named Alexis, three years old, she's super cute girl. And then Tsvetana Pironkova -- I hope I said that correctly. She's from Bulgaria. She has a son named Alexander. And then Victoria Azarenka, she's from Belarus, and she has a little one named Leo.

So congratulations to all three ladies. I'm looking forward to watching and learning, picking up a few tips along the way.

WILLIAMS: Wow, that's great. Well, do you remember Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? Well, get ready for a real-life chance to win a golden ticket and ownership of a real, a real candy factory. Take a look at David Klein. He's one of the inventors of Jelly Belly jellybeans. Mr. Klein is now sponsoring a treasure hunt for candy lovers.

For $49.99, you get a ticket for this treasure hunt. 1,000 tickets will be sold in each of the 50 states. Each winning ticket worth $5,000, but one of those golden tickets comes with ownership of a real candy factory. Sweet. Kennedy.

(EDITOR's NOTE: David Klein is not the inventor of Jelly Belly jellybeans. Jelly Belly Candy Company was founded by brothers Gustav and Albert Goelitz and remains family owned and operated today. David Klein is not associated with Jelly Belly Candy Company, its brands, or products. In 1976, Mr. Klein, an independent third party, came up with the name “Jelly Belly” and other novel marketing ideas.  Jelly Belly Candy Company has not had a relationship with Mr. Klein since 1980 when it acquired the trademark.) 

MONTGOMERY: I would do that.

WATTERS: Juan, that was one of the factories that Trump's saved.

WILLIAMS: Oh, is that it?

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

MONTGOMERY: It's actually in Vietnam.

WILLIAMS: Kennedy, go for it.

MONTGOMERY: Hey, I think I will. Look at this adorable little girl teaching her dad how to skateboard. This video has gone viral.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Get on the skateboard. Over there. Go, Dada. Go. Get on your skateboard. Over there. Over there.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

WATTERS: Over there.

MONTGOMERY: Oh, she's so cute. That's Petra Lennox and she was telling her dad exactly how to ride a skateboard. Get on the board. Go over there. Be careful daddy. She loves him madly and she's so sweet and she'll probably a little gripper herself. Good for you, Petra.

PERINO: Cute.

WILLIAMS: That was so wonderful. Dads, take a look.

Anyway, that's it for us. SPECIAL REPORT up next. Hi, Bret.

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