Gutfeld on the media’s hard-hitting take on Joe's pets

close

Video

Gutfeld on the media’s hard-hitting take on Joe's pets

The media goes wild over the president-elect's furry friends; reaction and analysis on 'The Five'

This is a rush transcript from “The Five” November 30, 2020. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST (on camera):  Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino,
along with Katie Pavlich, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld.
It's 5:00 in New York City, and this is THE FIVE. All right, President
Trump vowing to keep up his legal battle over the election, and reportedly
has some big plans if things don't work out.

In his first interview since November 3rd, the president saying the DOJ and
the FBI must investigate allegations of voter fraud.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES:  It's inconceivable. You
would think, if you're in the FBI, you're Department of Justice, this is --
this is the biggest thing you could be looking at. Where are they? I have
not seen anything. I mean, I just -- they just keep moving along and they
go onto the next president.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

PERINO (on camera):  And President Trump continuing to go after big tech,
and the media accusing them of controlling the narrative around the
election.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

TRUMP:  It's massively powerful. It's massively corrupt, the media and big
tech. Section 230 should be taken out because that is their protection that
was given artificially to them. But it's a massive form of corruption and
silence and suppression.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

PERINO (on camera):  And President Trump apparently has his eye on 2024. He
reportedly floated the idea of stealing some of Joe Biden's thunder by
announcing his next campaign during inauguration week. Greg, you called it.
You are first.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST:  Thank you.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  I remember Juan snickering at me when I said that was going to
happen. You snickered.

JUAN WILLIAMS, FOX NEWS HOST:  You want me to do it again?

GUTFELD:  Yes.

WILLIAMS:  Because I think it's a pretty ridiculous idea.

GUTFELD:  But it's going to happen. If he wants it to happen, it will
happen. The most powerful form of bias is controlling the faucet, right?
That's what we're talking about here. So we take something like this
collusion hoax, you turn that faucet up. It's just like the faucet in the
tub and you just leave. And it went on for four years.

Then, when there are stories you don't like, you can -- if you're in
charge, you can turn that faucet off. That can be either with Hunter Biden.
It could be with the election fraud, because there is stuff to report there
that they don't want to report. You can go all the way back as far as
Benghazi. And you can find out what caused anchors and reporters to snicker
will not get reported on. They will immediately dismiss it.

There were networks that were doing the same thing. They would report on
the collusion hoax and then they would have polls on it. So it was a
perpetual motion machine. It was like that drinking bird at the barbershop.
It just fed itself. But the election fraud story is different because it's
not being propelled by the media. And it's not even being propelled by
Trump.

Because I have a feeling that it wasn't the movement. If it wasn't the
millions of voters that are pissed off, Trump would accept this. It's not
about him. The media's got this totally wrong. He just happens to be in
front of the parade. It's the people that are pushing this, because they
believe, and according to the polls, the Rasmussen poll.

There is a belief that this was a fraudulent election. It's like an average
of 40 percent. It was 75 percent Republican, 30 percent Democrats believe
this was fraudulent, right? So this isn't driven by the media. This is a
feeling in the public. He's actually operating on the will of the people.
He's not pushing this.

PERINO:  All right. Juan, you want to jump in?

WILLIAMS:  I think he's the, you know, he's the guy that -- what you call
that, music man, they guy who is up in front of the parade with a baton.
And so then you say, oh, but look at the polls. That's the self-feeding
loop, Greg. To me, this is like the last act of the Trump show, and it's
getting old and tired very fast. To me, he continues to push this.

And I think there's no evidence -- there is no evidence certainly in court
that's been presented. And if you (Inaudible) see the FBI, and guess what,
the FBI is his FBI. He attacks (ph) the Justice Department. I think it's
really hard to go after Bill Barr. He's been such a faithful supporter of
President Trump. But the president continues to do this.

Today, you know, we had Wisconsin, recount done. Guess what, Joe Biden got
more votes and as a result of the recount. Pennsylvania has certified.
Arizona, has certified. This is over, folks.

GUTFELD:  Not yet.

WILLIAMS:  At this point, you know what it looks like to me is it looks
like a con job to raise money for Trump and his -- you know, whatever he
wants to do in the future. It has nothing to do with the reality of what
you should be telling people, which is let's move on. Let's organize for
the next election. May be 2024, as you were suggesting. I'm not sure he's
going to be there. But I mean, at least there may be some reality to that.
I do think --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  This would carry more weight, Juan, if you said this during the
Russian collusion business.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  Look. I think that it's clear evidence that Russia, in fact,
interfered.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  You know what, I would say to you if there is clear evidence,
put it in court. I know that the intelligence agency in this country did
it. One last point on this, I think this just as curious to me that it's
hurting Republicans in Georgia that Ronna McDaniel, the head of the RNC was
down in Georgia this weekend, and people are saying to her what does it
matter if we vote.    

It's all ridiculous. It's all a conspiracy. It's all a fraud. That's Trump
hurting the Republican brand.

PERINO:  He is going to go rally those voters, though, on Saturday, Jesse.
But I am sure you want to talk more about the election stuff.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST:  I don't even need to talk about the hundreds
of sworn affidavits, the eyewitness to the fraud. I don't need to talk
about the big tech censorship, the suppression polls, the media bias. I
don't even need to talk about it. What I want to talk about is this. If
this was a clean election, then Joe Biden ran the greatest campaign in
presidential history.

Because he shattered decades of records, over a century of records and
trends in this election. And the media is not even curious about it. I
mean, how do you have a down ballot wave on one hand, and then the opposite
wave on the top of the ticket. That hasn't happened for 120 years. You you
are saying they guy that got more votes than any other person in U.S.
history doesn't have coattails.

Or Donald Trump, the incumbent, actually got more votes in his reelection
race and ended up losing. That hasn't happened in 150 years. Then Joe Biden
lost 17 out of the 18 bellwethers, that Joe Biden won less counties than
Hillary, 200 less counties than Barack Obama and still came out ahead, that
Joe Biden lost Florida, lost, Ohio and still win the election.

That hasn't happened since 1960 when JFK, some home cooking in Chicago, or
he under-performed Hillary in every major metropolitan area, except
Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Detroit, and Atalanta, or the fact that Donald
Trump won more of a percentage of minority voters for Republicans since
1960, won 95 percent of Republican voters, won the middle class, yet still
lost.

I mean, why isn't the media saying, Joe, what's your secret? How did you do
it? I mean, why isn't the media talking about this transformation of the
Democratic Party? They're not talking about Biden voters. They're not
talking about this. They're not crowning a strategist like a Rove or an
Axelrod. They're not even asking Joe a question at all.

They're only asking Trump a question, which is when are you going to go?
And that's because they're not saying that Biden won, they're saying Trump
lost, and that should tell you everything.

PERINO:  Right. Katie, last word to you.

KATIE PAVLICH, FOX NEWS HOST:  Well, the bottom line is that there is a
significant portion of the American electorate that does not believe this
was fair and square, and whether it was Democrat cities or legislatures
changing the rules at the last minute, and having a lot of questions about
the way that things were done.

Or if you listen to some of these hearings that the Trump campaign has been
holding, the emergency hearing today in Arizona before the governor
certified the results there before hearing about these cases. If you want
to push aside Rudy Giuliani and push aside the Trump campaign lawyers, do
so and listen to what the witnesses are saying about the process.

Whether it's not having addresses correct, whether they were mismatching
signatures, whether they weren't allowed to do certain things that they
thought they were capable of doing, weird things that they've been seeing
that they hadn't seen despite being poll watchers in previous elections.
These are questions that should be answered for the future of elections as
well.

Because we have a whole new system now of this mass mail-in voting, and I
don't think it's actually fair in the end to just accuse the DOJ of not
looking into this. I mean, I know that there were U.S. attorneys in Nevada
looking into the 3,000 challenging votes that they had. But the fact is
that this is the Trump campaign's burden to bear when it comes to proving
this stuff.

And I think they've done a pretty decent job when it comes to holding these
hearings and having alternative media sources outside of the media who have
been able to really amplify some of these problems that elected officials
on the local level are actually planning on changing. So it's not going
away, that's for sure.

So learning to fix these problems and how to reform them, when a whole new
system is put into place, is not too much to ask when people have serious
questions about what went down.

PERINO:  All right. It is a Monday. We are underway. Coming up, Joe Biden
receiving more media praise for his administration hires, but they are not
without controversy. Republicans say one cabinet pick has zero chance of
being confirmed.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WATTERS:  No big surprise here, Joe Biden receiving more widespread praise
for administration hires. The media fawning over his new, all-female
communications team. But of course, it was never any glowing coverage of
President Trump's mostly female senior communications communications staff.
It's not all high praise for one Biden cabinet pick.

Reporter Glenn Greenwald uncovering past tweets from Neera Tanden that
Biden wants to head the Office of Management and Budget. She helped spread
the conspiracy theory that Russian hackers changed Hillary's 2016 votes to
Trump, including tweeting quote, "why does he lie about this, because he
knows people have intuitive sense Russians did enough damage to effect more
than 70,000 votes in three states."

And that's just the start of her long list of controversies. Katie, this is
interesting. So I mean, I'm looking at all these names that served as
communications people under Donald Trump, under Melania Trump, under the
vice president's office. It's all women.

PAVLICH:  Right.

WATTERS:  They don't get any credit for breaking gender barriers? 

PAVLICH:  Yeah. You know, This just goes back to what the left -- it just
blows a hole in their argument again. They always claim that they're for
women's progression, women's progress, breaking the glass ceilings, that's
not true unless you are a Democrat woman. You know, the first congresswoman
was -- didn't get any credit because she was a Republican, right?

And you had Sarah Sanders who, of course, was there first White House press
secretary to have small children. Dana Perino was a White House press
secretary, didn't get the glowing profiles of being a woman in the position
. You had Kellyanne Conway who won the first presidential campaign as a
woman, never got her glowing profile of how she did it.

How amazing she is for paving the way for women who want to work on
campaigns and be in charge of all the big decisions when it comes to
winning a race that nobody thought could be won. So you know, it just goes
back to this argument that they claim all the time that they are for women,
but they're really only for a particular kind of women.

I am happy for all the women who are now going -- who have been appointed
to work for Joe Biden and for his vice presidential pick. But this idea
that conservative women never get there credit, it's a little exhausting
and unfair, and it really just destroys the argument that Democrats are
really about progress for everybody.

WATTERS:  I would like a glowing profile. 

GUTFELD:  You'll never get it

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS:  I would take a moderate --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  You won't even get a glowing text from your mother.

WATTERS:  That's true. All right, Greg, what do you think about all this
stuff?

GUTFELD:  I don't know. I mean, when you pick an all woman team, what
you're saying, quite clearly, it's about gender and not competence. You're
meaning to tell me you couldn't find one dude, one dude in D.C. By the way,
I really don't care because as -- I know what it is. It's a virtue signal.
You know the media's going to lap it up because it's already got a built-in
angle, right?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  It's all women.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  And it's such an easy layup. And also, it's a strategy for
confirmation hearings, right, because it's really hard to go after a woman,
especially as a Republican, because then clearly you'll be sexist .

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  I don't think that they'll have any trouble going after Neera
Tanden.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  The communications people, nobody has to be confirmed. But also,
it is how they packaged it. And the Obama administration did this a lot
too. This is the first, the first, the first, if you think of last week,
the new DHS secretary will be the first Hispanic-American, the first. Now,
there's nothing wrong with that.

And if you think you want to get a quick hit in the media, you know exactly
how to do it. Conservative administrations typically don't do that. And
also as a conservative women, you just -- you know you're not going to get
the glowing profile, so you just get your shit done.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  You get your stuff done.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  I had another great point.

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH:  Amen, Dana.

WATTERS:  Christmas came early.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  I apologize. I didn't mean to say that.

WATTERS:  She will get a glowing profile.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS:  All right. Juan, take it home, and please, no foul language.

WILLIAMS:  You don't have to worry because I couldn't get away with it
either. I just think, you know, the idea that it's all women is pretty
amazing. I think that's why it's getting all this attention. I've never
seen anything like that. And yes, there have been conservative women, and I
think Kellyanne did get a good deal of attention for --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO:  It wasn't glowing, though.

PAVLICH:  It was terrible attention.

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  Wait, wait, wait. We have got to separate out something. After
the election, Kellyanne got a lot of attention, first woman to win a
presidential campaign.

PERINO:  I would not have printed any of that --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  -- not only that, not only that --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  -- history as a pollster who have done a lot of work on
Republican women. She got attention. Now, the separate issue is alternative
facts, and I think it went downhill. But I'm telling you she started pretty
high. Anyway, my thinking on this is, like, you know, four years ago, I
said you know what. I didn't vote for him, but President Trump is my
president.

And what I'm seeing these days from Republicans in the Senate and around is
they refuse to even give Joe Biden's administration a chance.

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS:  He doesn't have an administration --

(CROSSTALK)

WATTERS:  He doesn't have an administration.

WILLIAMS:  Wait a second. He is nominating people to fill his government,
his administration, Jesse. Neera Tanden, boy, she has an outstanding
resume. This is a kid who grew up in poverty. This is a kid who heads now
the leading left of center think tank in Washington, the Center for
American Progress. And yet, you have people saying she had some nasty
tweets.

Boy, I wonder who in Washington who has nasty tweets, could it be Donald
Trump? Could it be Tea Party people, freedom caucus people? Nick Mulvaney
is over at OMB. I think he had some nasty tweets --

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH:  -- she's made enemies on both sides of the political aisle --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  -- why did she get the nomination?

PAVLICH:  She likes Joe Biden, but the left flank doesn't like a --

(CROSSTALK)

WILLIAMS:  -- the best argument on the left is, well, if they eat up Neera,
well, maybe they'll leave other people alone. That's weakness in my --

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH:  I know why it was an all-female crew, because did you see that
interview with TJ Ducklo with Bret Baier.

WATTERS:  Yeah.

PAVLICH:  Couldn't make the cut, that's why.

WATTERS:  Poor TJ.

PAVLICH:  Poor TJ.

WATTERS:  OK. Up next, a major COVID reversal that could pave the way for
schools to reopen across the country.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

WILLIAMS (on camera):  Welcome back. A major reversal after a controversial
decision to shut down America's largest school district. New York City now
saying it will reopen some classrooms to in-personal learning. Mayor Bill
De Blasio announcing the decision.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

UNKNOWN:  As we open school in phases, and I will go over the phases in a
moment. Wherever possible, we will, in schools that have the ability, go to
five day a week instruction. Whatever happens ahead, we want this to be the
plan going forward, because we now believe we know what we didn't know back
in the summer.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

WILLIAMS (on camera):  Meanwhile, Dr. Fauci saying schools across the
country should be open.

(BEGIN VIDEO TAPE)

DR. ANTHONY FAUCI, NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH:  The default position
should be to try as best as possible within reason to keep the children in
school or to get them back to school. If you look at the data, the spread
among children and from children, is not really very big at all.

(END VIDEO TAPE)

WILLIAMS (on camera):  So Jesse, I know that your kids go to catholic
school. I think, from my experience, a lot of the private schools remained
open during this period. They use those plastic partitions. They oftentimes
pay for additional testing. Does this suggest may be the government has
going to have to do something like that to keep the public schools open.

WATTERS:  No, they just have to open the school safely. You don't have to
spend a gazillion dollars. You have the kids wear masks. You do the
partitions, and then you do a little heat check before they come into the
facilities. It's not that hard. Right now, De Blasio is proving that he is
the worst mayor in the United States.

If Jesse Watters knows more about COVID transition than the mayor of New
York, we have a problem. And that's where we are right now. We knew in July
that you could open schools safely. Here we are in November, and he's flip-
flopping all over the place. And it's only because he got spanked on
national TV by Fauci and the CDC.

I mean, we're coming up on a year of the first COVID case in the United
States. He's acting like this is, like, the first week. We know everything
right now. I don't know why the schools just say we're protesting
ignorance, and maybe that will get them to open them up.

WILLIAMS:  All right. So Katie, teachers and staff, everybody from the
principal to the bus driver is part of this equation as well. Are they
being overlooked?

PAVLICH:  No. They are being -- they're -- part of the major problem here
is the teachers unions are the reasons why the schools in New York City
were shut down, not because it was dangerous, not because the parents
didn't want their kids to go back to school, but because the teachers
unions are in charge. And they do not have the well-being of children in
mind.

Dr. Fauci, quite frankly, has worn out his welcome on this issue. He
testified in front of Congress in the summer time. Dr. Rand Paul went back
and forth with him and said absolutely we should be opening the schools,
because it affects the least among us the most. When you look at the
stories of the special needs children who are suffering as a result of
this, of the parents whose kids can't be in school now as a result of not
having the proper resources.

The test results now, like, 83 percent of -- F's now of this online
learning process, and kids are now a shell of their former selves. And the
teachers unions are responsible for this. And the leaders in New York City
and across the country have been taking their marching orders from these
people, while the teachers want to continue, not all of them.

But a lot of them that are in the these teachers unions and backing the
decisions by the leadership are perfectly fine with getting paid and not
actually doing the work to keep these kids in school. And it's a travesty.
It really is. Generations of children are going to be affected by this. We
will see the results and the problems with this for years to come, not just
2020 or even 2021.

WILLIAMS:  You know, I don't agree with much of what you said, but I just
want to pick on something I do agree with, which is I saw the high
proportion of F's going to low income and minority kids, because their
parents aren't there to help them at home with the online learning part.

PAVLICH:  Which people who are proponents of keeping the schools opened
warned about. They warned that  people who had suffered the most are low
income students. And we are seeing the results of that.

(CROSSTALK)

PAVLICH:  -- working with schools at all to try and make it better for
them.

WILLIAMS:  So Greg, you know, the optics of it also have just been
terrible, because what I keep reading is people say the restaurants are
open. The bars our open, but the schools are closed. Is that a good
argument?

GUTFELD:  Yeah. It makes no -- it's a great argument, because there is no
data to suggest why they should be shutting down the schools. And there's
no data why you should be shutting down outdoor dining. So why is this
happening? And it's -- what we've done is we have created politicians who
operate on their own survival.

So they'd rather not take - if there's any slight risk that it can blow
back on them, it's just shut everything down. It won't affect them, you
know personally? But if it affects their career, they won't do it. That's
why you've seen Cuomo and De Blasio go back and forth, because they're just
looking outside. They're not reading anything. They don't know jack. I
almost swore.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD:  -- something far worse than what you said. But it's an example of
how the left hurts the people they claim to help. And you brought it up.
This is like when you talk about Jesse's kids go to a private school. You
are going to be able to endure this year of hell. There are a lot of
parents that aren't. And there is a lot of kids that are going to suffer
and they're minority kids.

PERINO: Yes.

WILLIAMS: Yes. Poor kids, in particular.

GUTFELD: Yes.

WILLIAMS: So, Dana, you heard Dr. Fauci say, really low level of
transmission among kids, etcetera. But in fact, kids do pass it along to
parents and grandparents. I ask Katie about the teachers, the
administrators, what about kids bring it back home?

PERINO: That has been a concern. But it's also, as we've learned more --
and I mean, it's actually been pretty fast. Like, if you think about the
March 15th or about is when the school shut down, we know a lot more now
than we did then. Two lessons are learned out of this. One, if you're in a
position of leadership, never agree to an arbitrary number while something
is unfolding, while there is a crisis, or while there is new scientific
information coming in, because that's what happened to De Blasio.

In order to get the schools open, he agreed with the teachers' union that
if the positivity rate got to three percent, then the schools would shut
down. In the meantime, as the numbers -- the positivity rates going up,
we're realizing that actually the schools aren't the source of
transmission. But he felt that he had -- that he was honor-bound or duty
caused him to commit to that.

I don't think it was Redfield and Fauci that change De Blasio's mind
though. I think the second lesson is that community getting together to
push back is what really made a difference. A lot of moms and dads got
together. They wrote a petition. They marched to the mayor's office. They
then went to the governor's office, and they're the ones who got to change.

So, you know, that gives you two lessons. Don't ever agree to an arbitrary
number, especially with the teachers' union. And the second one is you can
participate in your democracy and make a difference.

WILLIAMS: It really is true. Coming up next, media is giving a lot of
attention to Joe Biden's pets. And Greg is here to give them a reality
check next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: After four years of trying to convince America that Trump was two
parts Hitler, three parts Godzilla, and one part the daddy who didn't love
them, the media has turned over a new leaf, which is really an old leaf,
writing about Joe Biden's pets as opposed to his petting.

Left-wing crap poster Daily Beast reports that a pet psychic claims Biden's
dogs are happy over the election and that their master will be a great
president. Yes, master, talk about a dog whistle. The New York Times and
NPR gushed about Biden having the first shelter dog in the White House not
counting bill. And now, some breaking news.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: And now some breaking news. President-Elect Joe Biden
and his wife Jill won't just be bringing their German Shepherds Major and
Champ to the White House, the Biden's tell us exclusively that soon they'll
be joined by a cat.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Exclusively. Now, no word of the cat identifies as a he, she, or
they, or even a cat. What if it's a dog trapped in a cat's body? But it's
not like Biden really needed a pet. The media already has theirs. It's Joe,
a big lumbering cocker spaniel. But these stories are what the media loves.
They please their sources and humanizes who they voted for, which is job
number one when a Democrat wins. Never Republican. Too bad it doesn't
humanize the media.

It's an easy story to write and easy for politicians to provide. And that's
the nature of a true politician. They shine at the easy things, the surface
level, the pat on the back, the ribbon cutting, getting a pet, pleading for
unity from people you hate. This is why Trump was so refreshing. He's none
of that. I mean, how would he look walking a dog on the White House lawn?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: How would I look walking a
dog or the White House lawn? It feels a little phony, phony to me. A lot of
people say, you should get a dog. Why? It's good politically. I said, look,
that's not the relationship I have with my people.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: How real is that? He also knew that even if he did get a dog, the
media would just compare it to Hitler's dog.

They would, Katie, go Hitler got a dog just like that.

PAVLICH: Poor dog. Yes. And here's a picture of the dog. And it goes back
to this exact place. And this is obviously all concocted by Russia. Well,
for Joe Biden's dogs, did they consult the dogs about whether they want a
cat?

Like, nobody -- like, the dogs don't want a cat in the house, guys? Come
on. They don't want it happening.

GUTFELD: I don't know enough about cat-dog relationships. I do find it
perverse, Dana. Why do you think that it's always a priority to make
Democrats seem humane when they're always the most compassionate. But they
-- no one ever tries to make Republicans look humane. Mitt Romney, when he
ran, was evil. He put a dog on the roof.

PERINO: Yes. The dog on the roof, I mean, people never -- you couldn't get
that out of your mind. I mean, if it is something like 70 percent of
American households have a pet.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And so, you think though that at least the Biden's had the pets
before they get to the White House.

GUTFELD: That's true.

PERINO: I mean, what President Trump was saying his right that my look
contrived? But do remember who got dogs as president?

PAVLICH: The Obamas.

PERINO: President Obama. And they got beautiful dogs. They were gorgeous
dogs and they apparently loved them very much.

GUTFELD: Well, Hunter Biden had a pet, but it wasn't a dog. Juan --

PERINO: Over to you.

GUTFELD: Do we want -- do we discriminate --

WILLIAMS: I think we broke off Jesse's stuff.

JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: No. You were looking up in the sky
like you had a profound thing to say.

WILLIAMS: No, I'm glad to offer but I just thought, man, Jesse is rich on
this one.

WATTERS: I would say this, though. I will -- I will say this. I don't care
if Biden will have a pet in the White House. I care that China will have a
pet and the White House.

GUTFELD: Nicely done.

WATTERS: See what I did there?

WILLIAMS: Did I -- did I set you up?

WATTERS: Yes, you did, Juan. Also -- I also feel bad that Joe fractured his
foot. I feel bad. I have a source that told me that when Kamala Harris
heard, you know what she said?

GUTFELD: What?

WATTERS: She said, his foot? It was supposed to be his neck.

PERINO: Oh, Jesse.

WATTERS: It was an anonymous source. And so, I'm not going to be revealing
my anonymous source.

PAVLICH: Well, Secret Service may think that dogs are too dangerous for Joe
Biden to be around after this weekend. So, we wish him and his injury.

PERINO: I could see how that covering.

PAVLICH: Yes, absolutely.

WILLIAMS: I tell you what. I welcome --

PAVLICH: He's the president now.

WILLIAMS: I welcome this conversation. I think we're back to normal. I
think there's some normalcy to talking about the President's pets. And I
think --

GUTFELD: The alleged president-elect, alleged president-elect.

WILLIAMS: I think he is the president-elect.

GUTFELD: There's still a pathway, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I think that it's so much better than talking about the personnel
feuds, the chaos, the scandals.

GUTFELD: You're going to have a war.

WILLIAMS: Yes. But I think -- and I think that, you know -- and by the way,
we don't have to talk about personnel appointments. Biden is appointing
well-qualified people, not his buddies.

GUTFELD: But that doesn't kill, anybody, Juan.

WILLIAMS: I know. I know. It doesn't kill.

GUTFELD: You got to -- you got to search worse.

WILLIAMS: But here's the thing. There's going to be no kids in the Biden
White House, no kids.

GUTFELD: That's true.

WILLIAMS: And I think that a lot of this is that you focus on the pets. As
Dana said, most Americans have pets. We love pets. And I think people
actually see it as a sign of character. Like, what kind of pet do you have?
What does it say about you?

PERINO: Only if you like pets. But if you don't like pets, it is contrived
with the fact.

WILLIAMS: No, no, but it was before. He had them before.

PERINO: Right. Right.

GUTFELD: Juan has stumbled into the epiphany. We discriminate against
people like me because I don't have a pet. There's something wrong with me
right, Juan? There's something wrong?

WILLIAMS: I don't have a pet at the moment. Now, I got -- I didn't have
pets as a kid but I had pets when I had kids because they wanted pets. But
you're right. People say, why don't you have a pet?

GUTFELD: What's wrong with him?

PAVLICH: Wasn't there a president who had worms once?

WATTERS: What?

PAVLICH: Like they had pets and they were worms that were president.

WILLIAMS: Oh, come on.

PAVLICH: Trivia, I don't remember their name, but it was a president who
had worms.

GUTFELD: I had -- I had but not as pets.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Isn't it uncomfortable?

GUTFELD: It was a summer camp, 1975 La Honda Camp.

PAVLICH: That's enough.

GUTFELD: Yes. I'll never forget coming up. The "FASTEST SEVEN" is up next.

WATTERS: Worms.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PAVLICH: Welcome back. Time for the "FASTEST SEVEN." First up, incredibly
images show a sailor being rescued after desperately clinging to his
capsized boat that was 86 miles off the coast of Florida. He spent almost
two days in rough seas. And after his boat started sinking, he was found
hanging on to the last part that was still above water.

So, Jesse, you're a boy scout so I think you probably could have survived
this.

WATTERS: Well not technically a Boy Scout.

PAVLICH: I thought you were.

WATTERS: Although my parents sent me to Wilderness Camp.

PAVLICH: Oh, there you go. There you go. OK>

WATTERS: Sometimes I feel like this sailor on the show, clinging for dear
life, hoping someone to come and rescue me. So, I'm glad he was rescued.

PAVLICH: OK, Greg.

GUTFELD: Well, the untold story here is that he wasn't alone on the boat.
And of course, there were no provisions --

PERINO: And no sign of --

GUTFELD: No sign of the other person. And then they found out later that he
already had enough food packed away and he really didn't have to eat the
other person. But they're not talking about that.

PAVLICH: Well, that's -- Dana --

PERINO: I have such respect --

PAVLICH: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

PERINO: I have such respect and such fear for deep water. I'm so glad that
he --

GUTFELD: He and a kiddie pool.

PERINO: Yes. Kiddie pool is much more my size. But hopefully, you know,
when he's feeling better, he'll be able to tell a story and I'm looking
forward to that.

PAVLICH: Juan, this is a real-life Cast Away but a shorter period of time
and a happy ending.

WILLIAMS: Well, you know, bless him. I mean, that's amazing that he was
able to survive that time. And you got to fall asleep. Imagine you're
afraid of not only the depth of the water, but what's in the water.

PERINO: And it was cold.

WATTERS: And it's dark. There's no streetlights, right. So, I think it's
pretty amazing story. The conspiracy theories, I'm sure, going to
proliferate what was he doing out there, what was he dumping. I don't -- I
will leave --

WATTERS: Ballots?

WILLIAMS: What? There you go. You heard it first on THE FIVE.

PAVLICH: He's dumping Trump ballots. That was what he was doing. All right,
next up, I guess the aliens finally remembered where they put their
monolith. The mysterious 10-foot tall metal structure spotted in a remote
Utah desert has now vanished and it was removed by what local officials
called an unknown party. Do they really not know who it is?

GUTFELD: It's pretty obvious who this is. This is the security camera
industry saying hey, if you only had some surveillance cameras, you would
know who stole your obelisk --

PERINO: Monolith.

GUTFELD: Monolith, obelisk, whatever. But it's an obelisk too.

PERINO: OK.

WILLIAMS: Actually, it wasn't.

GUTFELD: That -- this is the ad for the security camera surveillance
industry.

PERINO: They needed a ring.

GUTFELD: Yes. They needed a ring.

PAVLICH: Dana, but you don't believe in aliens so what do you think this
is?

PERINO: I don't believe in any of this. But here's what I think. I feel
like this is a funny -- not funny, maybe not funny, but it's a diversion
that has given everybody something to talk about and so I'm for that. So,
more of this please as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.

WATTERS: Is this the kind of news we're going to have to cover if Biden
wins? Somebody sees something in a desert then it disappears?

PERINO: And it's breaking news.

GUTFELD: Maybe it's Biden building a wall.

PERINO: Fox News alert.

PAVLICH: The news industry put it there, Juan.

WILLIAMS: You think so?

PAVLICH: That's what I think. Put it there and took it away so there would
be a story about aliens.

WATTERS: Yes, that news media, they're so tricky. They're so tricky. You
know, I think it's not a monolith, not an obelisk, I think it's like a
little pyramid because it's three-sided.

GUTFELD: Oh, is it?

WILLIAMS: Yes. So, that was a point of debate this weekend. But I -- so to
my mind, it's either the aliens -- I got to disagree with Dana. I think it
could be the aliens or it could be an artist which is what I've been
reading about. So, it could be the artist's friends decided once it was
discovered, it wasn't the tribute they thought.

PAVLICH: Household name after all that attention. Finally, Mike Tyson had a
secret weapon during his first boxing match in 15 years. The 54-year-old
admitting he smoked marijuana before an exhibition bout with Roy Jones Jr.
on Saturday night. So, Jesse, did you pay to watch the fight?

WATTERS: No, I don't pay for exhibition fights. These guys can't knock each
other out. They're this -- they're there to cash checks. The undercard I
saw the next day and that was -- that was a nice clean knockout. But I
assume that he was high beforehand. I mean, Juan smokes before the show.

PAVLICH: No, he does not. That is not true.

WATTERS: Wait, Juan is sober.

WILLIAMS: Your man is unbelievable.

GUTFELD: You're sober? Wow.

WILLIAMS: Let me just say, if I -- if I was intoxicated, it would be so
hard to take this beating.

PAVLICH: Greg, isn't marijuana a downer? And if you're in a fight, don't
you want an upper?

GUTFELD: Well, according to my sources, sometimes you perform quite well
when you're high. There's a specific type of marijuana that gives you
energy. I don't know if it's indica or sativa. I don't really know.

WATTERS: Sativa.

GUTFELD: But I felt like I was high when I was watching this because I did
pay for it, and it was -- he didn't fight till about 1:00 a.m. And they had
musical guests in between each bout. It was -- it was this long, slow -- I
felt like I was wasted by the end.

PAVLICH: You watch the whole thing.

GUTFELD: Yes, I did.

PAVLICH: Oh, interesting. Dana, my guests on me watching it was --

PERINO: I didn't even know it happened until the next day. I didn't -- I
didn't even know there was going to be a fight. But look, I think that
tomorrow I might try this trick.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: So that I am calmer during the block when we're talking about
conservatives.

PAVLICH: Dana, I'm surprised that the sports expert didn't know.

PERINO: Oh, just wait till my "ONE MORE THING."

PAVLICH: All right, "ONE MORE THING" up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: It's time now for "ONE MORE THING." Are you ready for this? Dana's
Sports Corner. New graphic. OK, I want to show you this kid. His name is
Zeke Vozniak. He's a seven-year-old sports-obsessed kid from Georgia. And
he has these amazing dribbling skills on a treadmill. Check him out. This
is a young Pistol Pete Maravich in the making.

WATTERS: That was the reference you went with?

PERINO: Well, that was the one I was given --

WATTERS: That was 50 years ago.

PERINO: -- by somebody really smart. So, anyway, he can dribble two
basketballs, he's got 360 degrees spins. I mean, this is a pretty good way
-- like if it's raining, this is a great way to get your kid to burn off
some energy. There he is. That's Zeke Vozniak. All right --

GUTFELD: That's the kind of kid who knows how to dribble.

PERINO: He does know how to dribble. It's true. All right, your next.

GUTFELD: No, I'm not. Jesse is.

PERINO: Oh, you switched it. All right, Jesse.

WATTERS: All right, so it's obviously Christmas season. You can see from
the trees behind us. That means you got to start shopping. And you have to
start shopping today because it is Cyber Monday. So, check this out. 20
percent off on Fox gear, free shipping too with Fox Cyber, all right.

So, listen to what we got. We have the bestselling FIVE socks. Everybody
loves these socks right here. They're flying off the shelves. We have
ornaments, we have hats. We have this really great -- what would you call
this, a scarf?

PERINO: That's a scarf.

GUTFELD: People would call it a scarf.

WATTERS: Their color really pops. They have joggers now.

PERINO: Oh, joggers. I love joggers.

WATTERS: These are mediums. You think I could fit into these, Gutfeld?

GUTFELD: You'd look great.

WATTERS: Thank you. That's harassment. All right, so go to the Fox Shop,
that's foxnews.com, right now and get 20 percent off.

PERINO: That's awesome, awesome deal. Juan.

WILLIAMS: All right. So, over the Thanksgiving break, my family didn't get
together because of the COVID, but there was still a lot of family fun.
Take a look at my granddaughters, folks. They got their hair colored. And
everyone started putting up Christmas decorations.

Take a look at my son Tony's house. He's all decorated. Here's my
daughter's house, Santa and his inflatable helicopter and an elf who ended
up in the bushes. My daughter also went Christmas tree shopping. Here's the
family out in the woods.

Finally, my son in law, an architect, finished building an incredible
treehouse for the kids on the front lawn. Now, you talk about an amazing
Christmas gift. He got the whole neighborhood talking. By the way though,
you know what we did that was fun? We had a Trivial Pursuit via Zoom with
people from Maryland, Massachusetts, to Illinois. I'd never done anything
like it. It's pretty cool.

PAVLICH: That's fun.

PERINO: It's very fun.

WATTERS: Did you win?

WILLIAMS: No, I did not.

PERINO: Darn it.

PAVLICH: Family game time.

PERINO: Katie, you're next.

PAVLICH: All right, so my little brother recently got engaged to his
longtime girlfriend Courtney. She is now his fiance. He did it at Thomas
Jefferson's Monticello, so it was very beautiful. We all got to be there.
Well, I was there with my husband. We're wishing them many, many years of
happiness, very happy for them, and wanted to welcome her into the family.
So, welcome to her.

PERINO: She's so cute.

PAVLICH: I'm really happy for them. She's a dairy farmer so she fits right
in.

PERINO: I love that. I want to know more. We want to more about the dairy
farming.

WATTERS: You can ask her about the organic milk and why it last longer in
the fridge than the regular milk.

PERINO: I'll ask her. I'll ask her.

PAVLICH: She will know the answer.

WILLIAMS: Are they history buff? Is that why they did Monticello?

PAVLICH: My brother is a history buff. He's also in a Kappa Sigma
fraternity. And so they have some ties to that area of Virginia.

PERINO: Fabulous. Congratulations. It'll be fun.

GUTFELD: This calls for Monticello shots.

PERINO: That would have been a better "ONE MORE THING." Better than the one
you have.

GUTFELD: It would have been a better one, the Monticello shots.

PERINO: I don't know. You want to show us? There's enough time. You have to
do your "ONE MORE THING."

GUTFELD: All right, let's do this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Animals are great. Animals are great. Animals are great.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I think everybody probably like this just because there's animal
in it. But you know how you feel after Thanksgiving, after you eat. For me,
it takes two or three days to feel better because of the gorging and then
the purging. Like this little fellow here had a big Thanksgiving meal and
this is how he felt after he finished the plate.

PERINO: Oh, he's just going to take a nap.

GUTFELD: This was me all day Saturday and Sunday and I just felt awful,
just absolutely awful.

PERINO: He looks like he feels pretty good though.

GUTFELD: Yes, he's --

PERINO: Falling asleep on his food.

GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.

WATTERS: Do you guys want to see me model some of this Fox News stuff?

PERINO: Yes, let's see.

PAVLICH: Well, look at the inside.

WATTERS: Let's do this. And that's bundled up with a Fox News hat.

PERINO: Wow, you are really trying to sell it. There you go.

WATTERS: How about that?

PERINO: That really pops.

WATTERS: How does that look?

GUTFELD: Sell the one you're wearing. There you go. The one that Jesse
Watters wore -- you're going to get the actual -- if you act now, act now,
we will make sure you get the one that Jesse Watters wore.

WATTERS: I think it's worth less if wore it, Greg. Do you know how much
hairsprays on this thing?

PAVLICH: But your hair touched the hat.

PERINO: That scarf really pops on you.

WATTERS: You like the color?

PERINO: I love it. I love the color.

WATTERS: Do you want -- do you want the scarf? It's my gift to you.

PERINO: No, no, no. I want to sell -- I feel like we should sell it. I
mean, Jesse Watters touched it. And you too, you in America, you could be
the proud owner of a proud American scarf.

WATTERS: And we also have an Animals Are Great leash, and we have a Fox
Five cup.

PERINO: We have so much. We have so much but that is it for us. "SPECIAL
REPORT" is up next.

Hey, Bret, do you want this scarf?

END

Content and Programming Copyright 2020 Fox News Network, LLC. ALL
RIGHTS RESERVED. Copyright 2020 ASC Services II Media, LLC.  All materials
herein are protected by United States copyright law and may not be
reproduced, distributed, transmitted, displayed, published or broadcast
without the prior written permission of ASC Services II Media, LLC. You may
not alter or remove any trademark, copyright or other notice from copies of
the content.