This is a rush transcript of "Gutfeld" on October 28, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST (on camera): Happy Thursday, everyone. Control yourself. Before we get to the news, let's continue our Halloween week with episode three of our favorite sitcom.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Tonight's episode, "A KILLER COMMUTE".

JOE DEVITO, WRITER AND COMEDIAN: And then they told me he was at 20 to 46 in progress. Would you look at this? See it a million times. Another miniature red plastic car running over coworker after being driven recklessly by a tiny Greg Gutfeld dummy.

You know, it never gets any easier.

JOE MACHI, STAND-UP COMEDIAN: What the hell?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What a waste of tape.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: The only way to silence Emily Compagno, got to run her over.

So, back to the news, and as always, when it comes to the news --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ANNOUNCER: Everything is racist.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That's right, everything is racist. Food, jokes, vaccines, pigeons. That weird feeling you get when you insert your finger into your belly button. And then it turns out it's not your belly button, or anyone else's. The only thing that's not racist are actual racist.

First, let's talk docents. Do you know what a docent is? I had no idea until now. A docent, however, is now racist. For it's the term that describes volunteer guides at museums. They're usually older white ladies who walk around telling you not to touch the nude sculptures.

Like, how was I supposed to know? I mean, why go to the market? If you can't squeeze the fruit? Am I right Tyrus? Fruits not very big either. Some of these docents are actual donors to the museum. And I bet they're typical liberals, just because you don't see many Dale Earnhardt shirts at the museum of national history.

But over at The Art Institute of Chicago, more than 100 docents were fired because they were not sufficiently diverse. Although, in Chicago, diversity means getting the right mix of people who've been shot, and people who haven't.

Volunteers were fired because they were too white. And that's got to hurt being fired as a volunteer. You can't even collect unemployment in your face white privilege, but I'm all for it.

I can't tell you how many times I thought, you know, I need a museum tour guide who looks just like me. I mean, I really feel marginalized. Where are they? It's a struggle for me.

So, here is another example in which bozos adopt the rhetoric of inclusion to exclude others. I mean, these are experienced people who donated time and money to educate the public, and they're going to be hard to replace. And why? Let's be honest, who does all the volunteering? I'll give you a hint. You won't find them at a Jay Z concert or at a NASCAR race?

No, it's mostly upper middle class, White women named Melinda and Dorothy who have -- who have time on their hands since Harry and Leo passed away years ago.

Picture Janet Yellen, but with a woman's haircut. Men only volunteer when there's a gun to their head, probably because they held a gun to someone's head. Meaning, it's community service.

And I tell you, picking up trash along a highway is no way to spend five Saturdays. I never should have murdered that weatherman. But if you tell me to bring an umbrella and it's doesn't rain, there is a price to be paid.

So, diversity quotas end up harming those it's supposed to help. It's adopted the rhetoric of equity in exchange for competence. It's about making yourself feel better instead of making things better. It's like scratching a rash instead of applying the ointment. God I hope it's just a rash.

As The Wall Street Journal writes, "civic institutions have always relied on the volunteer work of women with enough public spirit to donate their time and money. And we'll miss them when they're gone."

So, who's going to replace these women? Kat?

KATHERINE TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): No.

GUTFELD: Her idea of volunteering is working at a homeless shelter to find a better weed connection. Weed if we're lucky.

TIMPF: Weed.

GUTFELD: Anyway, docents are racist. They're probably white supremacists, just like Larry Elder and Condoleezza Rice. According to the woke conservative, blacks are actually white supremacist. Yes, black is really the new white. Which has to confuse the hell out of the KKK.

I guess we'll find out when Joe Biden gets invited to their next funeral. Shout out to Robert Byrd. But David Duke must be pissed. He spent his life trying to be the face of white racism, and Condoleezza comes along to steal his thunder.

So, why are black stealing the jobs of white bigots? Maybe this could be progress. I mean, if our white racists are so hard to find that we must recruit colorblind black leaders, how awesome is that? We killed racism just by confusing it to death.

I wonder what the angry black male thinks.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TYRUS, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR (on camera): What's up, fellas. Hey, genius.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: We just heard the news, we are so excited you're going to be taking over for us. We got you everything you're going to need in this white guy starter kit.

TYRUS: White guy starter kit.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, sir. Oatmeal.

TYRUS: Oatmeal.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Khakis.

TYRUS: Khakis.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Journey's, greatest hits. And, of course, hockey tickets.

TYRUS: Hockey tickets.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is for you. Enjoy the starter kit Whitey.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, and I can I borrow your street credit card?

TYRUS: Credit card.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: So, while the woke media stokes division, black rapper Bright and Grey, boots Adele out of the number one spot in iTunes with this band anti- Biden song. And you hear nothing about this because the left can't deal with it. It's a real cultural shift, but they don't like it one bit.

But look, a black guy beats a white woman with a song about a terrible old white president. When will he be called a white supremacist for that? Because over at the fake news sports site, Deadspin, they called Kyrie Irving and Dave Chappelle black pawns on a white chessboard. And why? Because they're black and share similar thoughts as whites.

I know individual thought transcending identity groups, it's crazy. But Deadspin believes people of one color must think the same, which I think is racist. Fact is identity politics is now segregating not just people, but ideas, skills, and talents, which always ends in bad ideas, lack of skill and zero talent. I think that's the new slogan for CNN.

But if you go to a museum, you got to ignore a white docent, even if they're good at it. If you're Condoleezza Rice, you best hold an opinion that other blacks have, especially famous black intellectuals like Joy Behar.

Of course, thinking for yourself like Irving isn't really thinking through yourself if some d-bag at Deadspin thinks you sound white. And the same goes for Chappelle. Sure, he was ripping on whites and that was fine. But once he made fun of trans, he's not white himself.

I tell you, you need a scorecard to keep up with whose racist and who is it? Maybe it's best to say that everything is racist.

Finally, something we can all take part in.

ANNOUNCER: Period!

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guest. He is the perfect bloke to provoke the woke. Columbia University professor and author of the brand new book, Woke Racism, John McWhorter.

He can drop more beats than a clumsy farmer, rapper producer R.A. the Rugged Man.

She puts razor blades in her own Halloween candy. Fox's contributor Kat Timpf.

And he's so tough, he goes bobbing for fine apples. My massive sidekick and the NWA World. Champion, Tyrus.

John, welcome to the show.

JOHN MCWHORTER, PROFESSOR, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY: Thank you, Greg.

GUTFELD: Nice to meet you.

MCWHORTER: It's good to meet you too.

GUTFELD: You got good timing for this book, Woke Racism.

MCWHORTER: That kind of did.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: Because there's an awful lot of it out there lately.

GUTFELD: I know. Where does this fit? This whole idea of docents.

MCWHORTER: It's really very interesting. How many people have ever gone to that museum and saw those women and thought that I wished I were one of them? (INAUDIBLE).

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: Nevertheless, we have this problem. The idea is you have to battle white power.

GUTFELD: Right.

MCWHORTER: White people have all the power, we've got to battle that. If you're not battling that, then, you're not going to get into heaven. And therefore, you have to get rid of the white docents, Condoleezza Rice as a white supremacist. All of it makes a certain kind of sense, if you understand that there's this church of battling white supremacy, and that being the only thing you do, other than maybe taking some lessons on the recorder now and then maybe doing some watercolor and a little bit else.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: But mainly, what you do is you're fighting the white man. That's the religion. And that's actually kind of what my book is about. But that's what all those stories have in common.

GUTFELD: Right, exactly. They just -- there's a new one every week.

R.A., welcome back. Haven't seen you in years?

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN, AMERICAN RAPPER: Yes, I moved to another country.

GUTFELD: Yes, Berlin.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: They tried to blame it up when -- because I moved around when Trump and Hillary, you know, was going at each other, and they, oh, he left the country because of Trump and Hillary, you know. I had kids out there, so I left -- My children, I wasn't afraid of Trump and Hillary. So --

GUTFELD: You followed a woman?

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Hey, hey. Yes, nice school teacher out there.

TYRUS: It happens, Greg. It happens.

GUTFELD: What do you make of this trend?

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Well, the whole thing, especially with Dave Chappelle, that's what I see the most, is it?

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: And what happens is they that you get like Deadspin.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: You know, a racist, white, you know, organization, you know, owned by racist white people. And then, they go, oh, he doesn't have our opinion. So, let's get a black writer to write the column.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: So, they won't see our racism. And then, he's speaking for us and see that's how the black community feels. It's not that's one black writer.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: And if you really look at -- you know, the majority of black community, they all have Dave Chappelle's back.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: You know -- like, you look at every --the real people, not just Twitter, people, you know?

GUTFELD: Right.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Dave Chappelle is my man. He's a genius. He's a legend. He's one of the greats. He's the G.O.A.T., you know. So, they're not -- they're not too offended by Dave Chappelle. You know, and most of them, you know -- most of the world grew up on comedy. GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: That this new, you know, you know, red fox, you know - -

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Oh, God.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Lenny Bruce, and all that stuff. So, now it's time to -- oh, Dave offended us now. So we're not offended by that now.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

Tyrus, excellent, angry black male.

TYRUS: Oh, thank you.

GUTFELD: Welcome to the -- welcome to the club.

TYRUS: Yes.

GUTFELD: You wanted my -- I have monogrammed towel.

TYRUS: I lost my membership card.

GUTFELD: You lost --

TYRUS: I lost it. Please take me back. It is scary. I don't -- I don't like Manny's and oatmeal.

You know, they make great points. The best thing about Chappelle is that he's in a position that when you have a few money --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: You don't have to play the game.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: And he's not playing the game. Because if they were successful, and they -- I guess it kind of got a small victory because they got his documentary. No one wants to produce it or whatever.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: But then, he just instead of doing and think, man, I'm glad that he didn't do the apology.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: The two-page Twitter apology.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: That, because, then, that's when they take against you off and cut your head off.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So, I'm glad he's standing his ground. But more people are starting to turn and look like enough of this, like we've had enough of this. And the other thing, it's not hasn't to do with racism, it has to do with the thirst to get with somebody else is at.

Because they all -- we've seen so many people coming out, they want to talk to Dave.

GUTFELD: Right.

TYRUS: There's so many people want to lecture him. Here is the deal. Let's do this. He'll meet with you, but there's no cameras, no media, you can't profit from it. You meet in a dark room, you shake hands, and he can't talk about it.

How many of them would actually show up for that? Because that's not what it's really about.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true. Yes. They want to act it out. So, if you go after a big star, and you're just some like, weird Twitter freak, it raises your persona.

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: Well, not only that, but here is the deal. If you get, which is ironic, you want to build your platform off the back of another -- of a black man. We've seen that before.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: OK?

TYRUS: You talk with Chappelle, then, you're going to go on "The View". Then, you're getting -- then you're going to get a reality T.V. show on we, and I on. So, of course, you're outraged.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Because this could be a lot of dollars for you.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: So, he needs to hurry up and meet with us because I've already spent money on production. So, that's really what this is about.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, you're really the expert here on race.

TIMPF: you're right.

GUTFELD: Yes. I think you make an excellent docent. You already have the black dress and the glasses.

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: And you're a -- and you're a white woman.

TIMPF: When I'm older, well, it depends if I have kids or not. If I have kids, I'll be going to the bar with my kids.

GUTFELD: Oh, that's sweet.

TIMPF: If I don't, I'll be drinking mouthwash with the men I meet in the nursing home.

GUTFELD: That's a real mean thing.

TIMPF: But at least I have plan.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: No, but it's not just race either. I mean, this week, also, NBC at a column (come out saying, is Kyrsten Sinema bad for bisexual people?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Because she's not far left.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: So, you know, which is worse for bisexual people? Saying that if you are attracted to men and women, you have to think that a certain way or you'll be publicly smeared, or you know, Kyrsten Sinema thinking for herself despite who she's attracted to?

I'm not about gatekeeping what people are allowing to believe based on, you know, gender, race, or sexuality. And apparently, that's a right-wing thing?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I don't understand.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, you would -- what's happening is, OK, so, we saw this separation of identity in race as the as the first part of this, but what they really want now is the separation of ideas and talents, which is a disaster because as the point of a melting pot is that we share everything at least with people who have other talents. One day you'll meet them, Kat.

All right, up next, wokesters new tricks include a lecture from Twix.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

A candy called Twix serves up a woke fix Twix in partnership with 20 Digital Studio

A candy called Twix serves up a woke fix. Twix in partnership with 20th Digital Studio created a two-minute short film called The New Nanny, all about a gothic witch, who shows up at a young boy's door offering to be his new nanny.

And it's not long before he brews up some controversy.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Why are you all dressed up? It's not Halloween yet.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Can I help you?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you want to find out? You buckled?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'm still wearing my princess dress.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Do you want to wear it? OK.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: No one asked me if I buckled up when I wear my princess dress. Thanks for nothing American Airlines.

Now, if your nanny shows up for work on her first day in a Halloween costume, you might want to raise your own kids.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: But anyway, let's get woke.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You look like a girl. Why are you wearing that?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Dressing like this makes me feel good.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Is that your nanny? She looks weird. You look weird. Your nanny looks weird. You guys are both weird.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No, we're just different.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Boys don't wear dresses.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa, where is it coming from? What's happening? Help!

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Whoa!

Will he come back?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, probably. Come on.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Now, if there's anything a child can trust for good advice, it's a goth babysitter. I can't wait for part two when she teaches them how to shoplift at a hot topic.

That's where Kat gets her clothes, by the way. So, why is Twix lecturing us on gender identity? Who do they think they are, Snickers? But that's wokeism, where candy bar companies make a Halloween ad that has nothing to do with candy.

They're weighing in on social issues instead of the weight of their sugar addicted customers. But if you thought that short film was bad, you should have seen their original version.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

MACHI: Hi, I'm Charlie. Trick or treat. Give me some candy.

DEVITO: Kid, I'm not going to give you candy. I'm going to give you something much more valuable, life lessons. You see, life is a daily process of disappointment where you learn to eat -- one teaspoon at a time. Until after a while, you don't even notice the taste.

Then, you'll develop an addiction to drugs, alcohol, possibly pornography. If I possibly, I mean, definitely. And before you know it, your wife left you, the kids hate your guts, and you're wondering what the whole point of existence was in the first place.

That enough of a treat for you?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Twix!

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Tyrus, obviously you haven't -- you have --

TYRUS: Yes, Greg. I've procreated with several different women. I have -- I have a small litter of children that I raised. Yes, thank you. You've established it now, and yes, I allow them to get treats because the more they get addicted on sugar, they fall asleep faster.

GUTFELD: Yes, right?

TYRUS: What blows my mind -- I know you want to talk about what blows my mind about this.

First of all, there wasn't a Twix in the whole commercial.

GUTFELD: Yes.

At least turn the kid who was asking questions into a candy bar, instead of blowing him off to oblivion. It's just --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: That's true, they murdered him.

TYRUS: They murdered it. So, I guess (INAUDIBLE) is when his dad --

(CROSSTALK)

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: No, they didn't murder him. They did murder him no, because they purposely at the end of the ad said, will he be back? And said, yes, he'll be back.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: Maybe.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Maybe. Oh, God, he shouldn't might have murder him --

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: So, now, his father comes back for a revenge. And he burned the witch. That's the -- that's the right Twix commercial.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: It is.

TYRUS: But -- they're acting like kids wearing dresses and being different happened two weeks ago.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: It is.

TYRUS: This has gone on for forever. In my neighborhood, we had one of the kids in my neighborhood that dress like a little girl. We didn't beat him up and pick on him. When someone got mad at him was when he wouldn't play hide and seek.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Yes.

TYRUS: Kids are the most forgiving group. They will ask questions like that. And then he goes, in that answer where I wear dresses because it makes me feel good, why do you wear a cape? I wear a cape because I want to be a super -- that's how kids are.

10 minutes later, they're playing soccer until the witch jumps in and choose. So, the message is, hey, if someone's different from you and ask questions, you got to kill them.

GUTFELD: yes.

TYRUS: So -- and speaking of that, so, then, reverse it.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Yes.

TYRUS: He's different to me. He's wearing a dress. And oh, here is Tyrus the warlock. Hey, that kids different. Don't worry kid. I happen to have my different arrow right here.

Boom, is he going to live? I don't know. Maybe. What the hell?

GUTFELD: What do you make of this, R.A.? The kids grow out of stuff.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: Yes, but I disagree when he say kids are forgiving, kids are crazy man. I remember in Long Island in the 80s, if a kid played with Barbie dolls, he would get beat up, you know. Here, Barbie dolls. You know, like, you ain't one of us? Like kids were crazy back then.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: But, whatever, whatever, you did different. But yes, that reminded me to Brian De Palma scene and Carrie White, with creepy Carrie -- creepy Carrie, and she use the magic powers, he falls off the -- off the bicycle, you know, I wasn't too offended by it.

But yes, the woke thing with the commercial is why they do it? Well, you see why because, look, we're talking about it now.

GUTFELD: Yes.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: When they go on Twitter, you have half the people outraged, half the people saying it's the most beautiful thing they've ever seen in their life.

GUTFELD: Right.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: That's, what they want. And does it sell the candy bar? Probably not, but we're talking about a candy bar nobody's talking about now, you know, like we --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Twix -- look at the shape of Twix. What does it remind you of? Yes, I won't go there. But isn't Twix an anti-female candy? We'll leave it at that guy, Kat.

MCWHORTER: Those is some skinny Twix (INAUDIBLE).

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: It was skinny nut --

TIMPF: Are you OK?

GUTFELD: I'm just trying to -- I'm trying to --

(CROSSTALK)

TYRUS: How many Twix did you have before the show?

MCWHORTER: That is not what twist ever reminded.

TIMPF: Yes, because you are OK.

MCWHORTER: That's right.

GUTFELD: So, OK, here is my -- here is my issue with this Kat. Clearly, adults pitch this idea and wrote it. It's not a real story. It's not an organic experience. It's manufactured. Because you could -- you couldn't find this story in reality. Then, you hire kids to play these roles that adults create.

So, this is not common. And yet they're trying to convey a message that it is common because they sell a product that kills people. Right?

TIMPF: Yes, it's not -- I mean, look, I was incredibly androgynous looking for several years as a child.

GUTFELD: That's an understatement.

TIMPF: No, yes, yes, yes, no. Like, it -- I'm not -- that's not a joke. That is a fact.

GUTFELD: She looked like the second baseman from the original Bad News Bears.

TIMPF: Yes, yes. Flannel -- and I also would wear only flannel, I was like, I want to look like Kurt Cobain. And, you know, I was -- people would make fun of me? Yes, but like, I -- look, I'm fine, you know.

I don't need a, you know, which to come use the powers of Satan to murder my classmates.

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN: One thing I did see about the commercial though, is the first person to critique them, and this some was a black girl, which a lot of times they try to generate this thing, black people hate -- you know, the most homophobic and the first person like, hey, you're dressed like a woman.

So, I think it's a little black girl. I think they do stuff like that. They'll trick to acknowledge --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: I just can't imagine waiting into this. If your candy -- and you sell candy, you don't have to wait into these touchy topics.

GUTFELD: No, but that's because -- Oh, and this goes into your wheelhouse. This is all bleeding from the academia. They're all in human resources now, all the -- all the woke dials.

But the hypocrisy is, is that sugar is worse for kids than anything? And it's worse for adults. I mean, it leads to diabetes and obesity. It makes them very -- it makes them very sleepy, and then they wake up and they're very obnoxious.

But you know what I'm getting at, the wokeism is meant as a diversionary tactic from critiquing what they actually do.

MCWHORTER: Oh, there's no doubt that what's going on there is you're selling poison to children in a way that will divert that will be entertaining. There are a million ways to do that.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: You know, it seemed like the candy is going to make you popular, et cetera. To tell you the truth, I don't know in the world that I live in there are a great many non -binary kids.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: And I can imagine that if I were trying to be pragmatic and sell candy, I would have a commercial like that, because that is a new sensibility. But yes, ultimately, this is something that kills you. And the idea is that there is progressivism being pushed along with it. That's weird.

GUTFELD: Yes. It is weird. I would say -- I was -- I would boy --

TYRUS: He is still thinking about the candy.

GUTFELD: Boycott Twix.

TIMPF: I want you to know that I love and support you no matter what.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, they are so good.

TYRUS: My Love does not run that deep.

GUTFELD: I like the mix of chocolate and caramel and in cook --

TYRUS: We know what you like it mix -- So, let's just move along.

GUTFELD: All right, hell another Halloween story.

Will Halloween cause mental distress? It depends on how you dress. I'm going as Twix.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: The bad costume list grows which means trouble for pimps and hoes. College killjoys advise, don't be offensive with your Halloween disguise.

This week in an e-mail, Michigan State Administrators warn students on what Halloween costumes to wear this weekend. Yes, you give them tens of thousands of dollars. In return, they tell you what to do in your free time.

Their big concern is some costumes can cause trauma. I get that. One time I saw a guy who came to my party is Debra Messing and I threw up. Actually, it turned out it was her. Of course, Michigan State's nickname is The Spartans, which could traumatize veterans of the Peloponnesian War.

Anyway, the e-mail linked to an article titled costume selection matters, which claims "misrepresentation and acts to dehumanize others have long been a way for certain groups to exercise racial superiority. Costumes can elicit trauma if they poke fun at the experience of historical harm, bigotry or displacement."

School provides a list of questions to determine if a costume is OK to wear. What does my wearing of the costume convey? Does it challenge or misrepresent my value system? Might perpetuate harm or violence that a group has experienced? Does this costume reference a certain cultural identity? And if so, is it mine to claim?

Well, that's a lot of questions. I hope I can still go as a slutty nurse. I fill it out nicely. Rugged, what do you think? What do you think of this?

R.A. THE RUGGED MAN THORBURN, RAPPER: I also looked at the list and it said for mentally ill as well, not just, not just race and stuff that don't, don't you know make fun of mentally ill, and that's the best costume. You know, Norman Bates?

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: You know, he dressed like his mother. So, he's, he's actually trans -- you know, whatever. And --

GUTFELD: It's like Jason, Jason's crazy.

THORBURN: Yes, but what about a straightjacket? You want to wait a straw? You might trauma somebody. No, it's Halloween. Sorry, it's Halloween. I want to wear --

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Trauma as verb.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Are you shamming? You're verb shaming.

TIMPF: No, I like it.

GUTFELD: You're verb shaming.

TIMPF: I thought it was great.

GUTFELD: Did you see that?

TYRUS: You know, Timpf (INAUDIBLE) --

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: No, I liked it, it sounded cool and I'm not cool.

THORBURN: I'm going to use it.

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Don't trauma me.

TYRUS: Don't trauma.

GUTFELD: Yes, what do you, what do you -- John, what do you make of this?

JOHN MCWHORTER, COLUMBIA UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR: I actually think that what we're seeing is more of these parishioners, this is, this is the Salem Witch Trials. They're waiting to find somebody who has offended them. It's not that they're afraid somebody is going to do it.

They want to find it because they think that's how they get into heaven. This is behavior that only makes sense as a really funky effed-up kind of Christianity. And so, that's why they want to see somebody mess up in their Halloween costume, they get off on it. Tragic.

GUTFELD: Yes, it is weird though when you use a frame -- like trauma, Kat, because when I, when I was a child trauma meant like a serious car accident or like a war wound. Now, it's somebody wearing a sombrero.

TIMPF: Yes. I really wish that the extent of my trauma was seeing a costume that upset me. I -- look, that would be great.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: But maybe not, because then maybe I'll be one of these -- I don't understand it. I just, I just don't understand it, because, OK, if a costume is trauma in you, then it's probably not about the costume at all.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: There's probably something else going on that you should probably get addressed. And I don't mean that in a shameful way. I mean, I've obviously had significant amounts of therapy.

GUTFELD: That's a great costume. Go as a therapist. So easy, you just put a sweater.

TYRUS: You'd never get to the trick or treating; you'd be spending your day going --

MCWHORTER: A question here is what has an offensive costume been? I'm trying to think of a time when I saw somebody dressed as Bugs Bunny, somebody dressed as Harry Potter. And then one where I thought, gosh, that hurts me. How often does that happen?

GUTFELD: Anything, anything that the Prime Minister of Canada has worn, right? Yes, he was -- he was many times.

THORBURN: I mean, what about costumes on Halloween where you got your guts hanging out?

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: You know, you could throw you know eyeball hanging out, a fetus hanging out.

GUTFELD: That's scary.

THORBURN: That offensive.

GUTFELD: That's from -- and it could be traumatic to a child.

TIMPF: I've also never seen --

(CROSSTALK)

MCWHORTER: I've seen costumes with fetuses, like I'm an abortion person or something.

GUTFELD: (INAUDIBLE) on top of their shoulders.

TIMPF: Yes, not Halloween.

TYRUS: Grown up in California. One of my friend's dad worked for special effects. So, he had like amazing costumes like he was Freddy Krueger one time like legit.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: And like I was like, I think I made like a fake hand, and it was like poor paint. So, maybe, the people who were doing this went through like what I went through where I didn't either fit in the costume, or mom made it. One day she said, hey, you know what? You should be kissed. So, I'm thinking I'm going to look like kiss, like look cool.

Then, she did my face and then when I walked by the mirror, I was like, it looked like someone slapped me with a red and white paint. I'm like, Mom, I look terrible. And then, no, you go, you go -- you have a good time. I spent the whole time like this trying to wipe it off. So, I looked even worse. It looked like a melted candle. So, maybe, I've dealt with it and got over it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: But I think the people who are doing this were mad because the costume they wanted, they couldn't get, so nobody can have Halloween because -- we're so brittle, you know.

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: You know, one of the best points because he said he, he said like Christianity almost because it's true because there were more or less throughout history who believe witness superior people who know what's best for you.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

THORBURN: And, and you know, that's what they were doing in the Catholic Church and the Christians, like we know what's best for you. And if you do anything that's you know, you will go to hell and he's uh, yes, we're trying to get into heaven.

GUTFELD: This the new, this is replacing religion.

MCWHORTER: That's what I'm saying, that's what he said and I agree with that.

TIMPF: I just don't have morals.

MCWHORTER: We have no morals dynamic.

GUTFELD: I don't think you can --

MCWHORTER: They said homeless people are offensive too.

GUTFELD: I went as a hobo in like second grade put pillows and then you put some stuff on your face and had a big -- a cigar.

THORBURN: Exactly with the chalk.

GUTFELD: Yes, little, little --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes, that's what's called a bindle. Now, that's a different term, but it's back then. All right, they're yelling at me. I got to move on. Coming up, a dinosaur back from the dead warns of doom and of dread.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Meet the environmentalist raptor who's full of crap-tor. Yes, we're getting a lecture about climate harm from a lizard with tiny arms. The U.N. released a video urging world leaders to reconsider their financial support of fossil fuels. In the ad, a dinosaur warns about humanity's impending doom if action isn't taken.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Listen up people. I know a thing or two about extinction. And let me tell you, and you'd kind of think this would be obvious, going extinct is a bad thing. You're headed for a climate disaster. And yet every year, government spend hundreds of billions of public funds on fossil fuel subsidies. So, here's my wild idea: Don't choose extinction. Save your species before it's too late.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Hell, if I wanted to be lectured by a dinosaur, I could just watch Nancy Pelosi. Red meat, red meat. I feel guilty making that joke. The video is part of a new campaign called Don't Choose Extinction, which aims to spotlight fossil fuel subsidies and how they're unleashing climate change while benefiting the rich, right benefiting the rich. So, you're saying for dollar gas helps the poor. That makes as much sense as China being on the U.N. Human Rights Council. So, we fund the U.N., the U.N. makes videos telling us how to spend our money. So, we're spending our own money telling us how to spend our own money, which means it's time for the "GUT-CHECK FACT CHECK." Yes, this is new.

All right, first, dinosaurs can't talk. I mean, we don't have proof that they can't talk, but it's not like they left behind any audible books. And when the dinosaurs have been better off if they were looking for asteroids? That's what did (INAUDIBLE), not a Chrysler. We didn't kill them. We just use them for fuel after they're dead. Which gets to the real problem. You have to question the objectivity of a video when the producers are asking a dinosaur his opinion on fossil fuels. He's a fossil. He's the fuel, of course, he's going to be upset. That's like asking an illegal immigrant about the wall. So, I hereby give the video three Pinocchio intestines.

ANNOUNCER: Period!

GUTFELD: Thank you. Kat, did this video influence you in any way, shape or form?

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: No, that's good.

TIMPF: But it was a little tough, because honestly, I'm not the biggest fan of because -- I didn't like the lecturing dinosaur.

GUTFELD: Right.

TIMPF: But I'm also not the biggest fan of economic distortions in general, even if you know huffing gas was the best thing you could do for your health.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Which it's not.

GUTFELD: No.

TIMPF: I still wouldn't like that so much. But it also does point out the hypocrisy because even this massive climate change effort that you know Biden is like the -- this huge, huge thing but it doesn't address the subsidies at all it's just like the same thing as you know, John Kerry taking the jet everywhere.

GUTFELD: Yes, you know, R.A. this goes back to your point in Halloween. This is OK to scare kids with. Dinosaur telling you the world's going to end, that's, that's kind of scary. But you better not, you better not wear that on Halloween.

THORBURN: Yes, but you know, they love to dumb it down and they love fear. That's what fear. Fear. Fear. So, I'm not an expert on climate, obviously, you know, I'm a Special Ed student. This guy wrote 20 books. Your variety, I guess, is a little --

MCWHORTER: None of them were about the climate.

GUTFELD: That's why this show is special.

THORBURN: Yes, but, but I'm saying --

GUTFELD: Good special --

THORBURN: Yes, science is complex.

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: And you know, they want to -- if you don't agree with us, and they manipulate the data, and then you're this terrible person, but sciences is complex, and they want to dumb it down to a talking dinosaur.

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: You know, so --

MCWHORTER: In terms of the voice, was the dinosaur supposed to be black? Did you notice there's a little bit of Obama in the dinosaur?

GUTFELD: Do you know who that was?

MCWHORTER: Who was that?

GUTFELD: Jack Black.

MCWHORTER: That's close enough.

GUTFELD: You actually nailed it.

MCWHORTER: I heard his name? He's an African American Tyrannosaurus.

GUTFELD: Did it work for you? No?

MCWHORTER: No, not really. It wasn't very dramatic.

GUTFELD: No (INAUDIBLE).

MCWHORTER: I needed more dynamic.

GUTFELD: Yes. Tyrus.

TYRUS: They're running out of ideas. The year, with a couple years before, they had like the 10-year-old girl who came out there and said, the world's ending, do something. And this year they got together and said, hey, let's have a raptor do it. If it's that if that would be like, hey, we're going to talk about the shootings in Chicago -- who's Ronald McDonald? Hi, boys and girls, watch out for flying bullets because it can kill you.

Like, if it's that serious, yes, society should come out there and be like, ladies, gentlemen, we're going to be extinct, here's what we need to do. Instead of making it fun and cute like Mommy, I want an instinct dinosaur doll. You got it son like, well, who is right who's coming up with this?

GUTFELD: Why wasn't the dinosaur in a princess dress? That's what I want to know. All right, up next, she's the adorable Kiwi who eats everything she sees.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: She's quite the tiny eater, but not even the biggest dudes can beat her. 26-year-old, Nela Zisser, of New Zealand, the land of chocolate and cuckoo clocks is a model and competitive eater who just went viral for easily finishing a family sized jar of Nutella in under two minutes. It usually takes, Kat, almost five. It's the result though that has loved one saying congrats but you may have a deep eating disorder. It's far from her first feet.

In fact, her eating career took off five years ago after she beat 19 men to win the top prize in a competition. I haven't seen that many men lose to a woman without the DNC rigging it. Politics everywhere. Yes. So, she's a competitive eater who crushes massive amounts of food. But it's also a super slim model, jealous?

TIMPF: I'm not jealous, a model who can eat fast? Whatever? Who cares? It's not like she's in medical school.

GUTFELD: Zisser is also attending medical school at the University of Auckland where she's on track to graduate next year. Kat, mad, she's kind of a success. She can eat 22 Big Macs. What are you doing with your life, loser?

TIMPF: Thank you. I mean, I guess I'm not eating 22 Big Macs. And some might say that's good. Isn't it kind of good?

GUTFELD: I guess it is. I don't know.

TIMPF: It can't be good for you.

GUTFELD: I don't like Joy's competitive eating.

TIMPF: I don't know but Cam -- like husband loves to watch it. He's like, these people are athletes. Get away from in front of the T.V.

GUTFELD: Tyrus.

TYRUS: Yes. I mean, it's great for her but we have a lot of competitive eating in this country that's usually in a closet, but no one looking or the or you're ordering for your buddies who aren't in the car. Yes, what did you want again? Two shakes and four Big Macs. That's competitive eating too.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TYRUS: The prizes type two diabetes, but you know, good for her though. And the fact she eats Nutella is that's amazing. Because I think it's, I think it's the most disgusting thing on the planet. My kids eat it, and I'm just like, it's not chocolate, it's not peanut butter. What -- where did it come from?

GUTFELD: I always love how the fast-food restaurants try to shame me when I get food. And they always give me two sets of utensils. Like, oh --

TYRUS: Wait a minute. They shamed you -- they gave you, they shamed you?

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, they shamed me.

TYRUS: Well, they assume that your parents were coming because your little heads at the top of the thing.

THORBURN: You know, if you want to take it back to climate change.

GUTFELD: Yes.

THORBURN: If you Google, Nutella, they say the palm oil is destroying the world, and they said it's cancerous type of ingredient of Nutella. You know, that's Google, you know. But so, she might be getting cancer, and destroy -- and you know, she might be forcing the cow fart.

TIMPF: She's a terrible person.

GUTFELD: They never choose raw broccoli in these contests.

TIMPF: She did do that.

GUTFELD: Oh, she did?

TIMPF: She ate, well, about 1.1 pounds of raw broccoli?

GUTFELD: Oh, wow.

MCWHORTER: Why?

TIMPF: For a contest.

GUTFELD: Isn't it -- But I mean, people you know, people have hobbies.

MCWHORTER: Yes. Taking in massive amounts of food. It scares me to go to McDonald's and they give you a bathtub and you're supposed to drink soda out of it. And they make you feel strange for asking for less soda.

GUTFELD: Yes.

MCWHORTER: They're very frightening places.

GUTFELD: Is there anything, is there anything you can eat nonstop? I was thinking about this like if they put in front -- like, I can eat bacon deviled eggs non-stop, like it would just or chocolate gelato. I don't even have to be high.

MCWHORTER: I can't eat enough black olives to sink a boat. I definitely -- yes, black olives make me very happy and you can't get them at McDonald's.

GUTFELD: No, that's very bitter.

THORBURN: He was born in Philly and he's afraid of giant soda containers, like you saw more private things in Philadelphia.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I don't even know. What about you? Is there something you can just keep eating?

TYRUS: No, Greg, I find it hard to find food.

GUTFELD: All right.

TYRUS: Small hose. I really -- if I can get my hands on a small host and some barbecue sauce it's going to be a good day.

GUTFELD: I'll take that as a date. All right, don't go away. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to John McWhorter, by his book; R.A. The Rugged Man, buy his music. Kat Timpf, Tyrus, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld, I love you America.

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