‘Gutfeld!’ on mask guidelines, Democrat leaders

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Gutfeld: Leaders don't play it safe, they take risks

'Gutfeld!' panel discuss why some on the left are scared to remove their masks

This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," May 14, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RACHEL MADDOW, MSNBC HOST: I feel like I'm going to have to rewire myself so that when I see somebody out in the world who's not wearing a mask, I don't instantly think you are a threat. Or you are selfish or you are a COVID denier, and you definitely haven't been vaccinated. I mean, we're going to have to rewire the way that we look at each other.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Or you could just be normal. All right. After months of sputtering vacillation, the CDC says fully vaccinated Americans can ditch masks and don't have to social distance in most indoor places. Unless you're in a room with Andrew Cuomo. And that case run. Speaking of that ass, even after restrictions have been lifted, he's still being cautious, claiming to rely "on the facts and the science." Yes, now he's careful.

Was he relying on the facts and the science when he sent COVID patients to rest homes? That were facts in science, then his treatment of women were delightful acts of chivalry. So, the CDC says you can skip wearing masks outside. In other news, the CDC says women can vote and wear pants. So, I'm not sure I'm for either. We're going too fast. According to The New York Times, the CDC is finally catching up to the science. It's not true.

They're finally catching up to you. We always knew that COVID doesn't spread outdoors. It's not like chlamydia at Coachella, which I learned sadly. We also knew that vaccination was supposed to eliminate risk of spread, which was motivation for getting it. The CDC, however, is so obsessed with the slightest risks, the kinds that are smaller than choking to death on soup, made their guidance as helpful as financial advice from Bernie Madoff.

So why did they change? Is it because they've now followed the science? No, because if they had followed the science, they would have come to this conclusion a while ago. Fact is they didn't follow science. They follow you. They knew that if they kept pushing the American public too far we were going to push back. Plus, the experts knew you were right. But they couldn't admit it. And anybody married is laughing at that right now.

See? All their guidance is based on fear. Fear of not being wrong, but fear of being exposed. Why is that? Well, these are not leaders. How can you tell? They played it safe. That's not a leader. That's your 75-year-old aunt Tilly backing out of her driveway. Leaders take risks. They listen to experts, but then weigh the risks against the benefits. It's like a coach who talks to his assistants and then goes for it on fourth down.

That's a hockey reference, Kat. A leader must face obstacles head on and if they fail, be willing to take the fall. As for the experts in the media, their constant covering of their assets created ever worsening feedback loop. A weak politician might accept the risks of reopening but retreat, the moment someone tweets but people will die. So they told you to sit tight at home masks even if you're living with older folks.

The irony that people who yell wear a mask or you're killing Grandma were supporters of the biggest grandma killers of all. Until after every time an adult publicly assessed risk. You get some media asshat asking how many people are you willing to see die? Just over a month ago, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said she had a sense of impending doom. Well, thanks for the pep talk, Doc. You must be great on a plane flight.

Fact is we accept death every day. It's sad but true, insurance actuaries count the future deaths we naturally accept no one has ever been able to escape the phenomenon of death. Except Keith Richards. Leaders get that but experts don't. Experts aren't paid to lead. Like Gramps taken a leak at 3:00 a.m. They're just paid to spray their opinions all over the place. And the American people aren't experts, they're better.

Think about our ancestors who came here in the opposite of a safe space. No expert was advising them to come here. Like marshmallow top sweet potatoes. It's unique to America. We're number one, because we won't take number two from anyone. So we ditch the masks. But why stop there? While we're at it, let's decide on other crap that we're tired of. Like those stupid little circles on the ground.

Where you're supposed to stand in line. I just want to buy Preparation H at Wal-Mart without having to play the CDCs version of Twister. And enough with bringing your disgusting reusable bag to the store. It's got more bacteria in it than Tommy Lee's hot tub. Let's get back to paper or plastic and stop charging us for it. That Green New Deal is all about the green I'm afraid. Seriously, remember how much fun it was to shop for food and the good old days?

The smells, the colors, the cereals, the checker who hates you because he wants laughed at her. I'm with her shirts? The produce section was therapeutic. Sure you never bought any vegetables, but it smelled great on your way to the freezer to grab beer and chicken nuggets. Oh man, in the deli section, being surrounded by all that meat takes me back to my wrestling days. And who needs all that meat? Turns out I need all that meat.

Seriously, there are like six kinds of salami. No wonder foreigners openly weep in front of the counter. In their shops back home the meat was made of wood. And let's not forget the head cheese. Now we know what happened to Jimmy Hoffa. And let's stop wiping down everything. I've never wiped so hard since that time as a kid when I thought ex-lax was leftover Halloween candy. That's another poop joke. Let's go to the angry white male one more time.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TOM SHILLUE, AMERICAN STAND-UP COMEDIAN: New guidance from government officials? Let me guess. Does it say ignore everything we say and live your life like a free individual? Like someone who makes his own decisions about his own life? Is that what it says? Because that's kind of what I've been doing. You know what? Why don't we assume that's what it says?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Typical far-right extremists. Now this might sound corny, but we need to see each other's faces, even Kat. We need to see smiles. We've been through a lot together and we need to interact like human beings. Like naked Germans at fat camp. We need to feel free. And finally, let's stop talk -- taking media proclaimed experts seriously, unless it's me. You can trust me, because I'm truly an expert. Actually, I am an expert in nothing except buying used leather chaps on eBay.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. He's such a great author. He can eat alphabet soup and poof out of bestseller, Up in the Air author, Walter Kirn. She's so sharp, you can use your brain to stab people, financial analyst and author of the Man's Guide to Corporate Culture, Heather Zumarraga.

This man actually reads Apple's terms of service, FreedomWorks vice president and author of the new book When Politicians Panic, John Tamny. There he is. Every day her husband tells her three little words, what have I done? Fox News Contributor, Kat Timpf.

Walter, is this the right time to stop wearing masks or were you -- were you over this a while ago? What is your whole -- vomit your opinion on me is what I'm saying.

WALTER KIRN, LITERARY CRITIC: OK. First of all, masks are going to end when teenagers tell us to end them. You know, when parents are going out for the night and they're putting on the mask and the kid says mom, please don't mask, it will be over. Because they rule the world. Yes, they rule the world. And, you know, they're not going to be into them soon. And this is going to be like a snow melt in Minnesota where -- the snow doesn't melt all at once.

GUTFELD: Right.

KIRN: You know, under certain trees and rocks, it stays. And there are going to be people who don't give up their masks ever.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KIRN: They're going to be like those people who after presidential elections keep the losing bumper sticker on their car. That way -- that way they can't be -- they can't be blamed for anything that happens over the next two years.

GUTFELD: It's so true.

KIRN: So, there's going to be people who just like they have Bernie stickers on their Subarus are going to keep the masks and about 2-1/2 years from now somebody is going to die of COVID in Brazil and they're going to say, see?

GUTFELD: Exactly. You're not going to be able to escape the, oh, a COVID outbreak or this or that. And you can use that, your analogy is excellent. That it's like the person who wears two masks or three masks is just like the person with three bumper stickers.

KIRN: Exactly. I mean, there's --

HEATHER ZUMARRAGA, FINANCIAL ANALYST: The more the better.

GUTFELD: Yes, the virtue signal.

KIRN: Yes. And so anybody who ever dies or contracts COVID for the next five years is going to bring out these people who come out in their mass and say, if you'd been like me none of this would happen.

GUTFELD: Yes. Heather, you just wrote a book on Corporate Culture. How is corporate culture changed? Is it changed forever?

ZUMARRAGA: Well, basically, there is no corporate culture if we're all living inside our home, working remotely, you're one of the few that have dared to step outside.

GUTFELD: I consider myself a true American hero.

ZUMARRAGA: Where no man has gone before.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

ZUMARRAGA: You are a true American.

GUTFELD: You know, I think I deserve a lot of applause for basically (INAUDIBLE) yes, thank you. Now you can stop applauding, stop applauding I'm, you know, I -- we can applaud later.

ZUMARRAGA: All right. I think that we will have to wear a mask as we go back to the workplace in this new normal corporate culture. And I hope not forever. Fauci said, we'll never be able to shake hands again. And that's in the book. And at the time when I was writing it, I had hoped he would be wrong, but maybe true that that may not be acceptable to even shake hands.

GUTFELD: But he doesn't help matters. He is such a -- he's such -- he's like the prototypical, prototypical or just typical? Why did I add photo to that?

ZUMARRAGA: I don't know.

GUTFELD: He's the typical bureaucrat, John. He's there -- he's not there to lead, he's there to protect his job, right?

JOHN TAMNY, FREEDOMWORK VICE PRESIDENT: Oh, yes. For him, they're always going to be holed out. She looked back to the former Soviet Union. There are still people who believe in Stalin to this day in wish those days were around and that describes Fauci to a tee. He's never had so much attention in his life. He -- and let's add that all this expose -- hides all the -- how he was wrong so many times before.

We're talking about someone who said that aids can be passed around just by sitting next to each other.

GUTFELD: Did he say that?

TAMNY: Yes. That's in 1983. That was the report he wrote.

GUTFELD: Are you kidding me?

TAMNY: It doesn't indict him that he's wrong. What indicts him is that he's been so wrong so many times and he continues to foist --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Who's the guy that invented PCR?

TAMNY: Kary Mullis.

GUTFELD: Kary Mullis. Do you ever see what he asked to say about Fauci? He -- I mean, he basically says exactly what you say that Fauci is just like how did he get this far, right?

TAMNY: Kary Mullis challenged Fauci to a debate over age and claimed that the PCR test could not be used to diagnose illness. And unfortunately, Kary died in September before COVID.

GUTFELD: Oh, really?

TAMNY: You can fact check that but it was that fall. We would never have had an Anthony Fauci, had Kary Mullis still been around. He -- I don't think he's going to last frankly, I don't think he's going to last as this avatar of COVID.

ZUMARRAGA: It was more important to throw out the opening day pitch than to solve the pandemic at the current time of crisis.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: He did do a great job though.

ZUMARRAGA: Oh, yes.

GUTFELD: You know, Kat, you know what's funny?

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Should we have a national just quit this stupid stuff day?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: Where everybody burns their masks. And just pick a day, because to Walter's point, it's one of those things. It's like a slow melt. Unless we say enough.

TIMPF: People are still holding on. They really saw as like, how ugly are you people? I don't -- actually, it's not that though. It's worse than that. I saw a lot of very dumb takes on Twitter yesterday, shockingly dumb, even as someone who watches as much reality T.V. as I do. There was one woman who's a reporter writer for The Huffington Post. And she was saying, listen, this is horrible that this is happening.

You know, we should keep the mat -- keep the mask, in so many other countries it's not a big deal. And I am an Asian-American, I want to keep wearing the mask without feeling uncomfortable. And although she thought that she set up that tweet in a way where you could not disagree with her without being a racist. He was so stupid because this isn't another country and the differences It was founded on individual liberty.

So you want to wear your mask, knock yourself out. Maybe literally, even if it's so hot outside, and you're exerting yourself at all. OK? But I'm not going to and you can leave me alone.

GUTFELD: Yes. Well, are there any practices that are -- that bother you guys that are that your fear -- like the -- those little things on the floor piss me off? What are they called, cats? No. The little round -- the round surface --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: The temperature taking.

GUTFELD: Yes. All of these -- I mean, is this stuff all going to go away?

ZUMARRAGA: Well, I heard you were wiping milk jugs.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ZUMARRAGA: Up and down for a long time. So, I mean, that would -- that would bother me --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: And the wiping, we didn't have to wipe the drugs.

ZUMARRAGA: Well, look, when I'm exercising outside, if I'm not wearing a mask just the other day and the person that I'm passing turns and faces a brick wall. The New York Times said not one case.

GUTFELD: I know.

(CROSSTALK)

ZUMARRAGA: You know, out of 120 million --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: -- better they were than you are.

ZUMARRAGA: Maybe.

TIMPF: That's really it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KIRN: And that's why we're going to have trouble giving up the masks because it gave people the opportunity to shame everyone, laughs at each other at their sight. And Americans love that.

GUTFELD: We are going to move on. Up next, their cities burn but liberals never learned. Good rhyme.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Chicago, L.A., New York. These are all cities, Kat's thrown up in. But they're also cities where liberal leadership has turned them into hellholes in Chicago. This is great. They're releasing feral cats into the streets to tackle a rat explosion. Rat explosion is also my favorite death metal band. They recently opened for ferret feces, also a great band. That's for poop jokes. Anyway, I'm keeping track, trust me.

Anyway, it's true since 2012, a thousand cats have been released in Chicago with Orkin naming it the rattiest city for the sixth consecutive year. Well, who's working? Some dude? Anyway, you think the rats would die from the constant gunfire, but maybe the cats can finally catch Jussie Smollett's attacker. Though not all the cats are on board. Watch what this Chicago cat did yesterday.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Oh man, you know your city's unlucky when even black cats are like, I'm out of here. Oddly, he choked on a rat and died minutes later. I kid. he's actually doing fine. He's running a bed and breakfast in Vermont.

All right. Meanwhile, in L.A. homeless crisis has led to a massive spike in fires at encampments. They're happening at a rate of 24 fires a day. That's one fire every hour, Kat. It's more than half of all fires the department responded to.

And finally in New York, I don't want to say the violence is out of control. But violence is out of control. Yikes. This week, four people, including a transit worker were attacked in the subway, a span -- over a span of three hours, days later, two men randomly slashed three strangers on the subway in a span of 12 minutes. My God. Liberals applauded the attackers for wearing their masks. So, what do all these cities have in common?

Lefty leaders. L.A. they've had Democratic mayor since 2001. In New York, seven out of the last 10 were Dems, the two safest administrations, Republicans Giuliani and Bloomberg. In Chicago. They've had Democratic mayor since 1931. But when you're talking government, why fix what's broken?

John, is this like -- we talked -- so we -- this this topic is on every day in my brain. Is this unsolvable? Like it -- if the people running the cities continue to deny what the issue is then there's no way forward. I hate to be a doomsayer. But I am.

TAMNY: What do they always say about New York City that it was liberalism's Vietnam. And so, it's something that keeps being solved. And then unsolved. I would just say there's one little pushback here about this. The homeless don't go to Jackson, Mississippi, or Birmingham, Alabama, they tend to go where the money is. I remember in the 1980s in Los Angeles, back when media discovered homelessness in the first place.

GUTFELD: Right.

TAMNY: It was a pushback against Reagan. And if you look back at that time, a lot of the homeless people were driving to the encampments, park in their car blocks away, going and being homeless for a day and then going back to their houses. There's -- where there's a lot of money invariably, there's going to be a lot of homeless. In Austin, Texas right now, it used to be a left-wing city, now to rich left-wing city. Homeless are everywhere.

GUTFELD: That's an interesting idea. You know, I always wonder too when the -- when the idea and the issue of homelessness came about, because I think I was like a teenager. And it was like, it's obviously, it was huge. And it was because it was under Reagan.

TAMNY: Ronald Reagan invented homelessness.

GUTFELD: Right. Right.

TAMNY: If it had been a Democrat president in the 1980s, we wouldn't have discovered it.

GUTFELD: Right. Exactly. It would have been swept under the rug, or it would have been just -- I think what we called them before transients.

TAMNY: They were bombs before.

GUTFELD: They were bombs. They rode the rails, Heather, much like you do. By the way. Man's Guide to corporate culture right here.

ZUMARRAGA: Thank you.

GUTFELD: We'll talk about in the --

ZUMARRAGA: I wrote it for you.

GUTFELD: You wrote it about me or for me?

ZUMARRAGA: I wrote it for you.

GUTFELD: You think I got a problem, Heather? Is that what you're saying?

ZUMARRAGA: No. It's to protect the good guys from saying or doing anything that could get them in trouble.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I'm a good guy [inaudible] mistaken. Let me ask you this.

ZUMARRAGA: Yes.

GUTFELD: Corporate culture. Is that going to die? Because people are going to leave the cities. You don't need to live in a city.

ZUMARRAGA: Right.

GUTFELD: You don't need to live in a --

(CROSSTALK)

ZUMARRAGA: Well, the homeless are living outside.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ZUMARRAGA: Homelessness has doubled since 2018. So you're right. Maybe the books and all that irrelevant. I hope that's not the case.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: I want to read that book.

ZUMARRAGA: Well --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: -- culture offers book.

ZUMARRAGA: Right. It's for back to work post COVID. But that's what these people want. They want a job or maybe they don't know they want a job. That's what they need. These makeshift shelters aren't working. You see the mass of fire spreading. The fire officials are saying let's give them an education on fire safety for example.

GUTFELD: Yes.

ZUMARRAGA: I don't think that's going to go very well.

GUTFELD: (BLEEP)

(CROSSTALK)

ZUMARRAGA: -- job. Yes.

KIRN: I want to talk about the cats. I want -- I grew up on a farm.

GUTFELD: Yes.

KIRN: They're going to miss the rats once the feral cats take over. Rats don't jump out of wooden piles and scratch your eyeball.

TIMPF: Listen, to hear something that people don't know about feral cats and I am -- I am very educated on feral cats. I'm the mother of a feral cat and I've been a friend to many others throughout my life.

GUTFELD: You're going to have a thousand feral cats by the time --

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: I hope so.

GUTFELD: In your apartment.

TIMPF: I hope so. Because just the smell of the cats keeps the rats away. When I moved into this house in D.C. that I found on Craigslist, there was all these rodents. And then my parents brought my cat to live with me again. And they were gone. The guy Steven who own the house, he said I'd never seen so few mice and rats in here and it was thanks to the smell of a feral cat. We don't thank them enough.

GUTFELD: Wow. You feel bad now, Walter?

TIMPF: Yes.

KIRN: Not at all really. Because I just keep thinking of the sight of cougars roaming, you know.

GUTFELD: Please stop it. With the hunting people with giant cats. My goodness, Walter.

KIRN: Yes. Sorry.

GUTFELD: Yes. You're going to -- you're going to end up getting a lot of angry mail. Although homeless people don't write.

KIRN: No.

GUTFELD: To shows.

KIRN: But I mean, why don't they --

(CROSSTALK)

KIRN: Why don't they use the logic of superior force? Now we're not going to have cops. We're just going to have feral cat.

TIMPF: Yes.

KIRN: Defund the police, bring out the cats and cougars.

GUTFELD: Now I could see that as a movie plot. That's a movie plot where you just let animals roam. Then they're trained like those robot dogs.

KIRN: Yes, yes. I don't know.

GUTFELD: Why do cities vote for stuff that destroys them? Does anybody know?

ZUMARRAGA: No, that's a perfect example of liberal policies destroying a beautiful city like you said in your monologue. I mean, look at Cuomo, if you -- if you're paying attention to the science, the science says you -- if you're vaccinated or you have immunities you don't have to wear a mask outdoors.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Feral cats are angels from God.

GUTFELD: There is a coffee mug.

TIMPF: Yes, yes.

GUTFELD: Somebody at home --

TIMPF: Please somebody --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Somebody at home make the coffee mug. Feral cats are what?

TIMPF: Angels of God.

GUTFELD: All right. Up next. The pizza party said no. And now she's rolling in shows.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's a lawsuit. A car dealership in the U.K. is being forced to pay its receptionist $32,000, that's four million pounds, because her colleagues repeatedly failed to ask her what kind of food she would like to order on Pizza Fridays. Yes, the poor woman was starved for pizza and attention, allegedly.

Treatment that the employment tribunal deemed a campaign of victimization, which is what we would call having to eat English food. The receptionist claims that the problem began after she filed a sexual harassment complaint against a colleague in March 2018. But to be fair, if someone accused you of harassment, I wouldn't ask about her choice of toppings either. She also complained about her hours and her pay, perhaps all that complaining must have left her hungry.

The dealership managers insisted the real reason she had been invited to the monthly lunches was that she was a part time employee leaving work at 1:00 pm, but the tribunal said that was no excuse. Finally, when questioned why she asked for so much dough, she said she needed the money. Heather, all right, OK, so you got this book, "The Man's Guide to Corporate Culture." This, this is one of those tests, problems that they have in a book at H.R., right? So, there's a dilemma.

A woman has a legit charges of sexual harassment, right? I'm going to say for the record, it's legit, even though I have no idea really didn't read the story at all. But OK, here's the dilemma. If you ask her to go to lunch, do you -- are you, do you risk perhaps being involved in some kind of conflict? But if you don't ask her, then you hurt her feelings? So, if - -

HEATHER ZUMARRAGA, ZUMA GLOBAL LLC: Either way, you're screwed.

GUTFELD: Yes, either way you're screwed.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEW CONTRIBUTOR: This is a family show.

GUTFELD: This is a family show. I don't know what kind of filth you watch when you go home to your apartment in New York. But we're different people here, OK. We're all from the, we're all like Walter, we're all from the mid-country, if that's what it's called? The mid-country.

ZUMARRAGA: That's the thing is that the pendulum has shifted too far in the opposite direction. If you look at things like the feminist movement and the Me Too Movement, rightfully so that needed to happen, but now you're in a case, you're dealing with cases where you as a man, as a good guy in the workplace, darn if you do, darn if you don't. We're not saying --

GUTFELD: Very good. You could have said damn.

TIMPF: Yes, don't say "darn," say damn.

ZUMARRAGA: Are we allowed.

GUTFELD: Don't be a (BLEEP).

TIMPF: Easier said than done.

ZUMARRAGA: But the pendulum has gone too far in the opposite direction. Everyone is politically sensitive. Everything is now politically correct. So, this woman who wasn't invited to have pizza at work, she's a victim. She was excluded. Look, I was excluded from things my whole life. I guess, I left a lot of money on the table. I mean, I didn't say a word you move on.

GUTFELD: That's true, Kat. If you could sue for every time you were excluded from something, you would be super rich.

TIMPF: I know. I know. I think, I actually, I didn't eat today. And people might say that's because I'm so hopped up on nicotine and espresso, but I could say, well, Gutfeld didn't ask me to eat. He, he didn't so I had no idea how to do that for myself. Yes. It's, it's, it is tough, because, you know, I obviously do want to be treated as the equal, brilliant, dynamic human being that I am. Regardless of the fact that I'm a woman. You guys can come over anytime.

GUTFELD: You don't want to eat lunch with me Kat, unless you're --

ZUMARRAGA: But society deems you as a victim if you're left out. So, it is a really big issue.

GUTFELD: Being left out. You could be, Walter -- you can now be sued for hurting people's feelings. I know the sexual harassment thing is a different part of this. So, I don't want to make light of that. But this is like it is -- I mean, what if she was somebody that just kept putting anchovies on the pizza? I would not invite somebody who likes anchovies.

WALTER KIRN, NOVELIST: The problem is turning work into a child's birthday party.

GUTFELD: What if your birthday clown?

KIRN: Well, I don't consider that. It could be a likely possibility. But here's the thing, there's been there's been this trend to make work your family, you know work your social life and so on. So, as work becomes your social life, you're going to start to have social problems like, he wouldn't dance with me. You know, she's prettier it's that so. And this doesn't happen in coal mining, for example. You know, in coal mining you have you didn't die under a rock slide. You don't have Pizza Friday.

GUTFELD: No, you don't. You have survival Friday. I made it home. Yes, that's so true. Oh no, they have a I-didn't-lose-a-finger-Tuesdays. I worked at a bottle -- I like to always say, maybe I should just not talk about it -- John, save me. All right, so I live on the, I live under the impression that that it can't hurt to sue anymore because I keep reading and keep every day you read in the paper about settlements and settlements. And I wonder if am I, am I just am I inaccurate, inaccurately seeing this that it's actually I'm just reading about it but it's not real.

JOHN TAMNY, REAL CLEAR MARKETS EDITOR: I would be a damn liar if I didn't tell you this is a great story. We must live in a rich world if you can sue for being left out. And I'm waiting for the U.S. lawsuit. We're going to quadruple or five times this if you're left out of pizza here. The Brits have nothing on us for stupidity. Only the richest countries yet to be this stupid. Wait, wait for hours, this is a sign of immense prosperity.

GUTFELD: It's an interesting thing. It's the, it's kind of like -- it's, it's there's an evolutionary concept about handicapping that certain kinds of species can handicap themselves because they're a such a strong species, right? So, it's like a very rich country can endure these kind of idiotic things but, but a country that's smaller --

ZUMARRAGA: I would say this is ridiculous. And the company should have stuck to their guns, the employer, and said this is ridiculous.

TAMNY: They don't have these lawsuits in Bangladesh.

TIMPF: You know who else never does this? Feral cats.

KIRN: They police themselves, they do.

TIMPF: They sure do.

GUTFELD: You would probably sue on behalf of feral cat.

TIMPF: I'm going to do that as soon as we're done here.

GUTFELD: Yes, you make a list of all the restaurants that feral cats aren't allowed in.

TIMPF: I'll be your queen.

GUTFELD: Yes. All right. There's a t-shirt. Up next, our ombudsman is back to tell us what we got wrong.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Welcome back. Let's find out if we got anything wrong this week. For that, we go to our show's ombudsmen, Steve Phoenix Jr. Steven and I once owned and operated a bed and breakfast in Vermont. He own the bed and I made him breakfast. Anyway, Steve, how do we do?

STEVE PHOENIX JR., FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, Greg, you know, we never made money, but we made memories. And I got to say all those years in jail made me miss the old days. Anyway -- hey, before we get started, in the last block, you said $32,000 is four million pounds?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PHOENIX: It's actually 22,494 pounds. So, I haven't --

GUTFELD: It's less.

PHOENIX: Now, you go ahead, Greg.

GUTFELD: It's less than the 40 million pounds.

PHOENIX: By, by a substantial margin. I haven't seen somebody that's far off base since I was at Yankee Stadium.

GUTFELD: All right. Well.

PHOENIX: But now, let's get to the issue at hand, shall we? On Thursday, you suggested solving problems by printing money. Mike, baby roll that beautiful bean footage.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BILL HEMMER, FOX NEWS HOST: These are taxpayer dollars that you're saying we're going to give out a million dollars a week for everybody that gets vaccinated.

GUTFELD: Yes, but is it really -- I mean, we could just print more money.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PHOENIX: Oh, you know, too bad. There's no real world examples of printing money going horribly wrong. Oh, wait, hey, maybe you've heard of a little country called I don't know, Venezuela? They've been experiencing continuous and uninterrupted inflation since 1983. And according to the Wall Street Journal, the main cause of the country's hyperinflation is heavy money printing from their central bank. Hello.

GUTFELD: Hey, two things, Steve, one apparently you do not recognize sarcasm. Number two, what is correct -- I noticed a mask behind you. What is that?

PHOENIX: Oh, well, that's, that's for sleep apnea. That's -- it's actually not even mine. It's my friends that they come over and they have sleep apnea, and I'd sometimes after. You know what, this isn't about me.

GUTFELD: OK.

PHOENIX: Kat.

TIMPF: Yes.

PHOENIX: Kat, on Tuesday, you had something very interesting to say about the Hollywood Foreign Press. Mike, if you would please.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TIMPF: Wait, like so you know what this thing is? The, the H, F, whatever.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: OK. Do they -- so they need these sounds like and so they've known that they're all white guys for a long time, right? All these celebrities have known this for a long time. They weren't pissed then, they're not pissed now. They're just now pretending to be pissed because it came out public that they're all you know, bunch of white guys.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PHOENIX: A bunch of white guys. Well, actually, Kat, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association consists of about 90 members from over 50 countries, only three of which are Americans. In fact, the majority of their membership is female, former President of the Organization Mahir Tatianna from India. Now, according to a recent publication in the Los Angeles Times, other prominent members include Chinese-born actress Lisa Lu, who, as you of course know played the grandmother in the 2018 hit film. Crazy rich Asians. Oh, and how about former beauty queen Margaret Gardner.

TIMPF: OK. I understand. Hold on. Hold on.

PHOENIX: Excuse me. Excuse me. May I finish?

TIMPF: Hold on. I just would like to say my mistake, I did not know that but I just I don't know much about the Hollywood Foreign Press because I'm such a woman of the people. It's a little elitist for me.

PHOENIX: Of course. Well, I may I suggest some real glasses so you can finally see the truth.

TIMPF: No, these? I'm near sighted a little in my right eye now. So, these are not a farce. They were only a farce for seven years, and now they're not.

PHOENIX: Well, you were nearly making an interesting point, but I'm afraid we're going to have to move on.

Heather. Oh, Heather, hello.

ZUMARRAGA: Hi.

PHOENIX: How are you, dear?

ZUMARRAGA: Good. How are you?

PHOENIX: I'm well, thank you. You mentioned earlier in the show that Dr. Fauci made some comments that we would never shake hands again?

ZUMARRAGA: Right.

PHOENIX: Is that correct?

ZUMARRAGA: Yes, he said, we'll never shake hands again in the workplace where I go around hugging everyone in the workplace even during COVID. So, I'm sure I'm in big trouble.

PHOENIX: Very lovely of you. Well, in fact, in the original NPR interview, Dr. Fauci did sort of laugh, and you can see it in the transcript. And in fact, in a follow up interview that he gave with the Today's Show, in April of 2020, he said that those comments were made somewhat seriously implying that his actual statements were in jest. So, not only are we reading our hands, but you're spreading lies.

ZUMARRAGA: I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: Wow.

ZUMARRAGA: I stand corrected. I apologize.

GUTFELD: You know, I don't think just, you know -- this was your first time on the show, and I think it might be your last. I hope your book sells well because you're finished.

PHOENIX: One last one, Greg, if I may.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes. On Tuesday, you responded to an odd comment, a guest made about Hillary Clinton in an equally odd way. Mighty Mike, let her rip baby.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, the reason Hillary Clinton lost is because of the Russians or something when we all know the reason she lost is because she's a lizard person, blood soaked monster. So, it's the whole problem here is government and politics. And once again --

TIMPF: Blood-soaked monster.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, it's factually true.

GUTFELD: You know, if you look it up, actually, I think it was Snopes ran in and said she's the lizard person. I'm almost positive Snopes did that. Snopes might have to do with Snopes on this.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PHOENIX: Wow. Well, interesting. I did put my own private investigator on this one. We went in and we did some digging on whether or not Hillary is in fact, a lizard person. And well, turns out this one's true. Well, yes, nailed it. My bad, my bad.

GUTFELD: I wonder if you'll be snooped over this.

PHOENIX: God, I hope so.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PHOENIX: That's all my time, Greg. Thank you so much.

GUTFELD: Have a great day and enjoy your gift mask tonight. I'll be home a little early.

PHOENIX: It's not a get mask. It's not a get mask.

GUTFELD: All right. Not bad, not bad. Up next, I answer viewer questions in the greatest segment since the last segment.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Time for one of the greatest segments ever created A.K.A. --

ANNOUNCER: "PUNCHING DOWN: WHERE GREG READS YOUR MAIL."

GUTFELD: Tonight's edition is sponsored by cicadas. If you love insects, but you'd prefer to wait 17 years to see them, they're the bug for you. Cicadas. Now, to the mail.

Lee asks, "What movie or TV actor was your first crush?" Actually, I was too busy playing sports and were -- what's so funny? I'm working on cars and working on cars to develop any crushes in between the morning and afternoon football practices and tinkering on my GTO in the driveway. I never really got around to developing infatuations but maybe I should think about it some more.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The vice president lives in the flickering strobe lights that alternately illuminate or shadow his unwritten responsibilities. It is sometimes uncomfortable. It is sometimes ego-diminished, but it is also quietly rewarding. This office of the vice presidency --

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You know, technically, Spiro Agnew wasn't an actor. He was Nixon's V.P. Still, what a hunk. He knew how to handle the hippies too. Hose them down and throw them off a cliff. Anyway, I just realized this letter was from Lee Majors. Really, Lee? This is how you want to get on my show. Just call me, you have my number, Heath. He was even Big Valley. He feels My Big Valley. That's my heart. My heart is a big valley, you sick people. What is wrong with this audience?

Claudia asks, "On Teacher Appreciation Week What advice would you give to kids who hate or dislike teachers?" Well, I think it's actually really healthy to dislike your teachers, especially if they skip right from first base to second. Actually, I don't remember having a really bad teacher at all. In fact, if I remember correctly, there was one teacher who had a tremendous impact on my life.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: All leading cleaners, Mr. Clean is now the most powerful ever put into a bottle. New Mr. Clean cleans faster. Floors, walls doors faster than other liquid cleaners. But floor cleaning doesn't have to be that tough.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That guy was built. Michael asks, "What is your routine that keeps you in such great physical shape and so handsome?" Well, thank you, Michael, I'm blushing under this makeup even though what you're saying is entirely justified. In truth, I exercise regularly using only the body resistance of my workout partners: Sven, Gustavo, Clem, and Gus. But it's not just about exercise, it's really important that I watch what I put into my body. Another shout out to Sven, and Clem, and Gus, but not Gustavo. No, no, no. His visa expired and he's on the run. He also stole three of my suits. If you see him, do not try to apprehend him yourself. Tying him up only excites him. So, one thing I miss about Gustavo.

Karen asks, "Batman or Superman"? Let me tell you, Karen, when I was growing up, I wasn't much into superheroes. Or maybe I just wasn't into the kind of superheroes other kids were into. Superman was too boring, and Batman, he was really just a messed up rich guy with daddy issues. But let me think, I guess if I had to pick one hero.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: This is our apartment. We are the Jeffersons.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You guys laugh. But when you have time, you got to go on the Google machine and read about Sherman Hemsley. Do you know about Sherman Hemsley? He had an LSD lab in his basement. And he was a total prog rock freak, he cut an album with one of the guys from "Yes." You guys are not even responding to this. I'm reigning Sherman Helmsley facts on you, and you people are Godsmack.

TIMPF: Well, because it's amazing.

GUTFELD: It is amazing. I'm not making this up. If you're at home, you Google that and then you send all four of these people articles and laugh at them. I'm getting out of breath. Don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: We are out of time. Set your DVRs every night so you never miss an episode. Thanks to Walter Kirn, Heather Zumarraga, John Tamny, buy his book, Kat Timpf, Steve Phoenix, our studio audience. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you America.

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