This is a rush transcript from "Gutfeld!," March 21, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Good evening, I'm Geraldo Rivera. You know, one challenge to do in the news these days is not treating the war like every other story, as entertainment. Here we make the news entertaining, perhaps better than any show that ever came before it. Largely due to me. And that our competition over at CNN is as fun as a case of crabs. And not the ones that are delicious with melted butter.

But now we run headfirst into daily atrocity. And I don't mean facing a hangover Kat in the hallway. Ukraine is war and it's ugly, with grim imagery and relentless horror stories. But the news requires standard narratives and if you veer off the beaten track, God help you. Other issues demanded the same solemn treatment. ISIS, pandemic death polls, a Kamala Harris speech. I mean, what about the significance of the passage of time, am I right?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

KAMALA HARRIS, VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: -- about the significance of the passage of time, right? The significance of the passage of time. So when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time. And there is such great significance to the passage of time.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: She is truly a national treasure, if by treasure, you mean, embarrassment. But, you know, bad news often becomes relentless news. And I get your mail and I get your tweets, so I understand. But the news dictates the mood. It's like those mass shootings, we stop everything to go live to the scene and we repeat the same 90 seconds of information, mainly because it's all the information that we have available. It's not the reporters fault.

It's the unstoppable predictability of the editorial loop. So it's the number of injured, dead, locations, city shooter repeat. Then comes the coverage of the coverage as the media turns into its usual circle of self- reflection. That's where I come in. That's my job. See? I figure the news is really 30 minutes total or the same time it takes Jimy Failla to steal a jacket from a homeless tramp. But like a Vegas casino, cable news never closes, which is why commentary rules.

If it weren't for bozos like me, you would have a lot of silence. But when I was a kid, a new -- the news was like 30 minutes in the morning, a recap at lunch, another 30 during dinner. Unless something big happened like the Kennedy assassination, the moon landing or Marcia Brady going braless. Who could forget that? And life went on as usual. We played outside, got tuberculosis and shoveled snow year round.

CNN change that. Now we have pretty much the same quantity of news but we have to add a lot of hamburger helper to feed a family of 330 million or six Brian Stelters. CNN showed it was possible and also showed us how it could destroy a country. Play the George Floyd video two times an hour for months and you do more to undermine the fabric of a country than any foreign disinformation.

Why look for good news when you can binge watch home movies of the worst moments of your life? One news story becomes like a potato where you can figure it out so many ways to prepare it. Oh Groton, mashed, fried, but usually half baked. First you report it, then you wonder how it affects the economy, the climate, the disadvantaged, the children, the economic climate for disadvantaged children.

Unless of course their father is Hunter Biden. Then you turn it back on the media, which is my specialty. As the media reports the story what is the media actually saying? I mean, other than it's Trump's fault and you're racist, sexist and homophobic. In media commentary, we're so high on the smell of our own farts. Baked beans are an aphrodisiac. That is disgusting. But in war, we get -- poor Charlie.

But in war, we get serious as it gets ugly. We lose the theme music we drop the cute segments, we come in with breaking news graphics. Now it's nearly a month of this nightly grim routine. Bomb strikes, rubble, refugees, the dead, rinse and repeat. We care too much else because none of us have any real insights, except maybe for Kilmeade and that's only because his male pattern baldness is in the shape of Belarus.

Sometimes in my job, I run across stories that seem too on the nose. So, we use phrases like reportedly or some say, like the waitress who finds a racist note under receipt, or an actor beaten by Trump supporters that night, or the idiot son of a president losing his laptop somewhere. Well, that story turns out to be legit. Which is why they tried to suffocate it like Rosie O'Donnell is sitting on a Chihuahua.

There were others out of Ukraine, the Phantom jet fighter down in Russian jets. Sailors refusing to surrender. But the only thing real that we know of is the brutality. War is bad. And the longer it goes, the worse it gets. But sadly, it makes a great miniseries. It's the greatest show on earth if you're lucky enough to live here and binge watch it like a Netflix offering. But most importantly, it revives the old truth about T.V. news.

If it bleeds it leads. But that just makes me wonder where it's leading me. I hope someplace else other than World War III.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.

GUTFELD: Let's welcome tonight's guests. The only time this press secretary stretch the truth was claiming to be five feet tall. America's Newsroom co- anchor, co host of "THE FIVE" and author of the book, Everything Will Be OK. God I hope so. Now in paperback, Dana Perino. His hair is Houdini's nightmare. And that there's no escaping his luscious locks. Fox News Contributor and Washington Times opinion editor, Charlie Hurt so good.

He's got that perfect wardrobe for radio. "FOX ACROSS AMERICA" host Jimmy Failla. And finally, like a piece of IKEA furniture. She's barely holding it together. Fox -- I know that was going to get a laugh. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. God, I'm so excited. I have Dana, she's dressed in honor of a circus peanut.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Yes.

GUTFELD: Charles, your tie is reminiscent of fruit stripe gum.

CHARLIE HURT, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes. You know what you do when your mother gives you a tie.

GUTFELD: You wear it? Yes.

HURT: Probably.

GUTFELD: And Jimmy, you remind me just of a black and white television we had. Yes, it's very sad. You're Rupert Pupkin.

JIMMY FAILLA, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: I actually liked you the black and white facial hair growing.

GUTFELD: Well, I think I couldn't shower for two days, I had no hot water.

FAILLA: You look like --

GUTFELD: So, I haven't showered in two days. And I stink and I haven't shaved. How about that, Charlie?

FAILLA: Ew.

HURT: That's TMI.

PERINO: Why didn't you check into a hotel?

GUTFELD: You know what, why don't you mind room business? Charlie, I want to go to first. I haven't talked to you in ages, because you've been away doing God knows what. How do you think the media is doing in covering the war?

HURT: Well, you know, it's fascinating and great monologue there because it remind -- it reminds me, you know, this all began back with the Gulf War when CNN showed us the first war on television.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: And you could literally sit there. I remember sitting there. I was in college at the time. Binge watching for literally --

GUTFELD: Me too.

HURT: -- forty eight, fifty hours at a time.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: And you couldn't remember get under the desk. Bernie?

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: It was -- it was -- it was -- I mean, we couldn't even believe what a -- what an experience it was and you were there. And then you fast forward, whatever that is 30 years to where we are today. And it's become -- it's sort of become almost less real in a lot of ways even though we have a lot more ability to present the truth or present what's going on there but it's been sort of corrupted in a lot of ways to the point where, you know, you have -- it's become almost like a -- like a Hollywood version of it all.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: And you wind up with things like French President Emmanuel Macron, you know, dressing up like Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: -- and -- for his next election because he wants to. The characters become like, movie stars.

GUTFELD: I forgot about that. Yes. There's an interesting -- everybody's fulfilling a role.

HURT: Yes.

GUTFELD: Right? You got the villain, you got the hero, you got the supporting players.

HURT: And I'm not sure that it's very good for either the truth or -- and most of all, I don't know that it's very good for people -- the people who are actually suffering and dying. And we -- and we're -- I don't know that we're doing a very good job of, you know, you want to applaud the heroism of the Ukrainians but people are dying.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: And it's a horrifying assault that they're enduring. And you don't -- and you got to sort of figure out where you celebrate the heroism without continuing something that's hard.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know, Dana, when we do The Five, I -- when I sit down at The Five with this topic, I have no idea what I'm going to say. Because I have -- like I -- the more I read, the less I know. I don't know who -- like, I don't know who to believe and I don't know -- I don't know, who's winning because they both say they're winning. I don't under -- sometimes I think that Ukraine's winning and then I go, no, it's already over. They lost. I don't know how to deal with it.

PERINO: Well, part of it is that this -- if you go back to the Gulf War and that sort of that 1991 or so, OK, so one of the other things that's extremely different from then to now and even from when I was press secretary to now which is only from 2008 to now is social media. And that is -- so now you actually have people who are able to provide images, and it's not from CNN. It's actually from people who are they're experiencing it by themselves.

So to me, that is the most believable thing. Like they have the phone, they're filming it, and they're have -- they like put it out there on their feet. So -- and they're -- what's interesting is how Elon Musk has provided this ability so that the internet continues to stay up.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: But we've never seen that before either. And ISIS was a different thing. That was -- that was -- now they did use social media.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: In order to terrorize.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: But this is also a little bit different where you have the victims who are also recording what is happening.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes, God, who -- ISIS was the worst with their daily beheadings. Jimmy, I wish you'd be heading out.

FAILLA: Dang.

GUTFELD: That is such a terrible joke.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I even feel disgusted by what I just said. What is --

GUTFELD: ISIS is actually claiming responsibility for that ball, and just called the studio. It was us.

GUTFELD: Well done, my friend. What do you -- what do you make of this so far?

FAILLA: Your facial hair. I think you look like the lead singer of a boy band called In Middle School. I'm kidding. I owed you one. I love you. You know I do. I'm genuinely concerned obviously for everyone in Ukraine. It goes without saying, but I want to qualify that. People don't think of being cavalier about that but the effect that has on us in terms of what we're witnessing in our phone every day, I am concerned, we're becoming desensitized.

Because we're seeing things you're not supposed to see. You know, like, I grew up in an era where the only way to see certain things was to go out and do them. You know what I mean? Like if you actually, you know, wanted to see someone fight a stripper, you had to show up, get past the bouncer and punch your stripper. Now, you type it into Google. Now you type it into Google, they're like, did you mean a brunette stripper or a blonde strip -- you know what I mean?

And I just feel like we have too many options at our disposal. And it's making us more concerned with demonstrating empathy than having it. That's my concern.

GUTFELD: Wow. What do you think, Kat?

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: About the stripper thing?

GUTFELD: No. That was -- I almost said that was an odd example.

TIMPF: It was very specific.

(CROSSTALK)

FAILLA: I wanted to get off wars --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I appreciate that

TIMPF: Very specific in a lot of detail there.

(CROSSTALK)

FAILLA: Sorry if that hits home. OK?

GUTFELD: So?

TIMPF: Yes. I think obviously, seeing these things, as you mentioned, every single day, non-stop, I think it can also create an emotional response. I mean, it should, it's supposed to, obviously, if you're not a sociopath, it would. But when it comes to your emotions of the impact they can have on decision making or calling for certain actions, they can be really careful about making decisions from an emotional perspective.

In any case, and especially when we're talking about something as serious as war and potentially World War III.

GUTFELD: Very good point.

TIMPF: Thank you.

GUTFELD: That's a rational person.

HURT: But, you know, another thing that's really disturbing about the current situation is also we've just come off of five years of a psychotic episode in the media.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: Where we have seen him peddle propaganda --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I think that's affected me, that --

HURT: Yes. No.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes. I think --

(CROSSTALK)

HURT: Completely. No. It -- absolutely because when --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: I can't trust anything.

HURT: I don't trust anybody.

GUTFELD: I can't believe anything. It's like I don't -- and I don't know if I'm ever going to get back to that. Maybe that's a good thing. Who knows? You almost made up for your tie. Up next. A notion that reeks of desperation lower your standards to counter inflation. What a rhyme.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Instead of making inflation end let a tumor kill man's best friend. It's true, if you can't live like a Rockefeller than a lead say eat beans and kill Old Yeller. This weekend, Bloomberg, The news agency, not the hobbit, tweeted a link to an opinion piece titled Inflation Stings Most If You Earn Less Than $300,000 A Year. Here's how to deal among the suggestions. Take the bus. Don't buy in bulk. Try lentils instead of meat.

At least that explains how the buses will run on natural gas. But also the article written by an apparent professor of economics offered this advice. You might want to rethink those costly pet medical needs, it may sound harsh but researchers actually don't recommend pet chemo which can cost up to 10 grand for ethical reasons. Yes. Rescuing dogs is so 2020. Way to combine Michael Vick with Jack Kevorkian.

Of course, is everyone who's already crapping on this article has pointed out, those making under 300 grand a year is pretty much everyone in the country. So, that's the real bad news. Elites think people making under 300 G's are broke losers. The worst news is with inflation, they soon will be. But it does raise the question, who's behind all this lobbying for lentils? Is there a lentil lobby?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You know lentils as the go-to super food in a struggling economy. But this lovable lagoon has a wide variety of uses you're sure to enjoy. Lentils are perfect for spicing up a date. Lentils are great for impressing clients at the office. Now you're cooking with gas and lentils help you relax after a long day. And lentils are the perfect companion for live television interviews.

REP. ERIC SWALWELL (D-CA): The president used taxpayer dollars to ask the Ukrainians to help them cheat in election. Cheat in election. In election.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Paid for by the committee to reelect Eric Swalwell.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: We really are sophisticated show. Dana, I imagine you have some thoughts about pets.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Oh yes. Well, one thing I was thinking is that, you know, they're trying to tell people to save money, but they can't just say eat baked beans.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Right? Like beans on toast?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: It had to be lentils.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Of all things. Right? It's like they had to be fancy, you had to go to the gourmet shop in order to get your lentils. On the -- on the dog Kiba thing. It's a personal decision. And medicine has advanced quite a bit. And also the next -- in the next article was probably about how Americans are suffering from loneliness and need to have more companionship in their life which is provided by an animal.

GUTFELD: Yes. And you -- as you said earlier in The Five. It's like, please buy an electric car that costs 80 grand but don't spend 10 grand on chemo for your pet. OK. That makes sense. I'm poor. So I'll just buy the electric car. Kat, Kat, I just realized you can't spell Lagom without you and me.

FAILLA: He's hot.

GUTFELD: I did. I came up with that just now.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: Yes, I guess. For who? Who wants that?

PERINO: Yes. Maybe in the skit.

TIMPF: Yes, that's true.

GUTFELD: You know -- but the thing is -- this is kind of a typical media liberal response. It's not a solution. It's a coping mechanism. Where you - - just live with it like they won't do -- they won't make these changes but you should.

TIMPF: Yes. And they said -- with the tweet that said nobody said it would be fun.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Let your dog die. It's not going to be fun.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I just -- I was obsessed by it. Because I'm never going to allow my cat to die no matter how much he wants to.

(CROSSTALK)

TIMPF: He's had three chronic illnesses for a year and a half. Medicine every day. I keep telling Kim, I will put him on a ventilator. I will give him an ostomy whatever it takes. He's not dying.

GUTFELD: There you go.

TIMPF: Yes, I won't allow it. Kim said that's like not a good use of money. And I say well, you're not a good use, get off.

HURT: That's just funny.

GUTFELD: Jimmy, could you imagine like the brainstorming meeting when they were coming up with the solute -- that the -- like what -- like the ways that you take a bus, tell your pet.

FAILLA: Well, that's what I thought was so amazing is that they green lit this simply because nobody poor reads Bloomberg anyway.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: When was the last time you're sitting on a bus stop and somebody was like, hey, did you see that Bloomberg article? It doesn't really happen. You know what I mean? Like never, not -- and I find it also fascinating because the thing about the pet when they qualified it, they said if you are one of the Americans who recently adopted a pet during the pandemic, you know, if you adopted a pet from a place or in a pandemic and it already has cancer, how do I get your money back from the person who bred that dog? You don't I'm saying?

But of course, it shows how spectacularly out of touch they are. But then nobody said it would be fun. Nobody asked for this. You know what I'm saying?

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: So, back to your point of how it's a cope and not a solution. This person's an economist at the new school.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: How about writing an article about solving the problem economically.

GUTFELD: Yes. You --

FAILLA: No.

FAILLA: He has to be the worst economist.

FAILLA: No. This is what's going on. If you pay attention, and I know you guys do, there's been an internal count -- there's been -- it's almost (INAUDIBLE) no, there has been an internal calculation within the Democratic Party, that there's not enough time left to fix things between now and the midterm. So they're just going to tell us it's working.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: That's the new thing. Kind of like Kamala is going on the road. She's going to tap the successes of the Biden administration.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

FAILLA: Like there's a short --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes, exactly. So far, we got rid of five dogs with cancer. Doing really good, Charlie. Do you think the media is actually going to take their own advice?

HURT: You know, I don't know but my biggest problem with her raft of advice was actually the point about don't buy in bulk. Because that's like -- that's -- like this one thing you want to do.

GUTFELD: We want to do.

HURT: Yes. Because in this economy, literally a -- buying toilet paper in bulk is going to hold its value more than the U.S. dollar.

GUTFELD: Right especially with the Lagoms.

HURT: Especially with the --

PERINO: And you want to buy lentils in bulk.

GUTFELD: Yes. Yes.

HURT: I'm sure --

GUTFELD: I only buy one at a time.

(CROSSTALK)

HURT: This is -- but literally, this is the -- this is the problem.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: And this is the situation where you have -- I mean, this right here is the ideal of the Green New Deal.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: This is what they want you to live through. This is utopia, according to AOC and these people and now Joe Biden who got hijacked by them, and has installed all their power.

GUTFELD: It's everything that they said about gasoline oil, whatever fracking. Now it's being applied to every other part of your life that you can -- you should be living without this. And that's because it's good for Earth.

HURT: Including taking hot showers.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: We want everyone to smell as bad as you do.

GUTFELD: Oh. You know what, that was uncalled for, Charlie, few shots. I smell manly right now. Disgusting. Up next. They framed a story as a Russian attack and their reputation went up in smoke like Hunter's crack.

HURT: Oh.

GUTFELD: See what I did? Yes, you didn't see that one coming, did you? You say hey, that doesn't rhyme, and then it did rhyme.

HURT: Let's hang in.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

JONATHAN HUNT, FOX NEWS CHANNEL CORRESPONDENT: This is a Fox News Alert. I'm Jonathan Hunt live in Lviv, Ukraine. Mariupol seeing some of the most intense street battles since the invasion began.

It comes one day after Ukraine rejected a Russian offer to surrender the strategic port city or face "severe consequences." Most of Mariupol now sits in ruins, and at least 2300 people there have died, and Russian forces occupying the city of Kherson opening fire on peaceful protesters. That's according to authorities in Kyiv, who say they also use stun grenades to break up the crowd.

The U.N. now says nearly 3.4 million people have fled Ukraine, most of them to neighboring Poland. That's where President Biden will go on Friday. I'm Jonathan Hunt, back to "GUTFELD."

GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: They covered up the probe of the crackhead in a motel robe. Yes, the intelligence community who tried to lie with impunity, and New York Post owned by a parent company, Mary Kay, call them the spies who lied. 51 so-called intelligence experts who to this day still refuse to apologize for discrediting the Hunter Biden laptop story and dismissing it as Russian disinformation without any evidence when the story broke back in 2020. And now they're being called on it.

They're as responsive as a crowd after Jimmy Failla punch line. Meantime, Republicans -- I don't know why that's there -- are demanding a new probe. There's that word again to delve deep into Hunter. The laptop and the possible big tech cover up. Well speaking of needing a probe, CNN's flabby, gabby, media expert, Brian Stelter, didn't even mention Hunter's laptop on a show yesterday, even though once upon a time he dismissed the story. He said the story was hard to swallow, which is funny coming from a guy who can make an entire breakfast buffet disappear. Let's take you back.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BRIAN STELTER, CNN HOST: There it is, the New York Post's front page announcing Biden secret e-mails. CNN reported on Friday that U.S. authorities are seeing if those emails we just talked about are connected to an ongoing Russian disinformation effort. There's a lot about this story that does not add up. For all we know these e-mails are made up for maybe some are real and others are fakes. If the New York Post tells you your mom loves you, you should check it out. We are not talking about fully reliable sources here.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

STELTER: If only CNN had newsrooms that verified stories like, like Brian Stelter bragged they did, he's fallen for more Whoppers at CNN than he does on a slippery floor, floor at Burger King. My God. What is happening, Jimmy? You support a new probe? Keep it clean.

JIMMY FAILLA, COMEDIAN: Yes, leave, leave my search history out of this. We are living, we're living in the death of shame. People don't experience shame anymore.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: The fact that they're willing to go on T.V. and just pretend this never happened that they didn't disavow this. And let's be clear, I do believe this constitutes election interference from the standpoint of if you look at the polling on this, and they tell you nearly 15 percent of Biden voters would have changed their vote had they had this information. You're talking about millions of votes in an election decided by thousands of votes.

GUTFELD: Exactly.

FAILLA: Which is absurd. So, to that point, I just think you know, shame on Brian Stelter, but we kind of expected this, did we not?

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: like we kind of thought this was coming.

DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: But there's no shame there either.

FAILLA: No, no, no.

GUTFELD: Or else, he would be in shape.

FAILLA: It's so, but it's so bad. And like, when Jen Psaki -- this is the one that really got me, OK.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Jen Psaki, when she was pressed on this goes, well, Hunter Biden doesn't work in the government.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: He's not a -- well, that he didn't work in the government when he tweeted about the scandal saying the laptop was garbage.

GUTFELD: Right.

FAILLA: So, where was that policy then? And believe me, I have empathy for a Hunter. I carry a vial of arsenic. If my, my laptop ever gets lost, I don't even call up a reward. I just chug it and we break even, and just only because I care.

GUTFELD: It is true. It's not even about the sex and drugs at all. It's about, it's about the lies. Kat, in the greenroom, you were saying that all 50 of these experts should be executed. That was pretty harsh. I thought that was harsh.

KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Uh, well, yes. Yes, that's, that's right. I, I actually never thought it was that persuasive. This letter because there was one expert missing from it, and that's Hunter Biden. Do you remember that? Everybody was like, he said nothing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: Like for weeks, I feel like if it were me, and, and someone doctored photos of me naked smoking crack with prostitutes and I didn't do that, I might say something.

GUTFELD: Yes. I'd be really like -- I would want to find the real killer as O.J. did.

TIMPF: Yes, exactly. He said nothing for the longest time. And then he said what, like, I don't know?

GUTFELD: At least O.J. pretended.

TIMPF: Which I think was honest.

GUTFELD: Yes. You know what, and by the way, Charlie, isn't there another laptop out there, there in the laptop, there's a video of Hunter saying, Oh, he was talking about Russian drug dealers.

CHARLIE HURT, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, no, and you raise a really important point. Literally, nobody in the media didn't know those e-mails were real. Everybody knew they were real. And of course, all of these former spies knew that they were, that the e-mails were real, and so did the FBI.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: Everybody. The only people who didn't know that it was, that they were all real were the American people who are going to the polls in two weeks. They were the only people kept in the dark.

GUTFELD: This is, I'm going to sound like the dude from CNN, this is actually worse than Watergate. In a way, I mean, right? I mean, it's like, what Charlie just said is that all these people knew it was real and lied.

PERINO: Well, the other thing is -- OK, so I'll so, I'm looking at the New York Post cover. So, they have the, the pictures of the spies who lie, right? So, you had all of them, they wanted their names in the paper, they put their names on this letter. And then when the New York Post and The New York Times and others call them to say, well, what about now that it's been proven that the laptop is real? They all say no comment, or they don't return the call, and they should never be quoted again.

In any paper, anybody who is a reporter should think of these people not as sources, but as operatives. And in that article in the New York Post, it does reveal that most of these -- yes, they worked in intelligence under Democratic administrations. So, there isn't, there was a qualifier there that wasn't exacerbated at the time.

GUTFELD: Ah, excellent use of exacerbated, a word that is underused in our vocabulary, and on that we shall take a break. Coming up, when it comes to counting who's who, Americans don't have a clue, clue. See what I did?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: Do the freaks in the press make it impossible to guess? Yes, it seemed the media's priorities make us overestimate the size of minorities, groups that is. A new study, Americans were asked to guess the percentage of various groups in the United States. And like my clothes at one of Hemmer's hot tub parties, our guesses were completely off.

For example, people thought nearly a third a third of the country was gay. The actual number, 80 percent; no, I'm kidding, three percent. Transgender people were estimated to be 21 percent of the population when it's allegedly 0.6 percent, in reality. Perhaps some of the non-binary people may have been counted twice.

Study participants guessed that Jewish people were 30 percent of the country when they're actually closer to two percent. I didn't know that. And African Americans were estimated at 41 percent, compared to 12. I haven't seen this many exaggerations since January 6th.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Nice one, Greg.

GUTFELD: Thank you. That's God. But it gets sillier. People thought 30 percent of all U.S. citizens lived in New York City. A Democrats wish. And another 30 live in Texas. Well, a lot moved there from New York. It's weird. These people decide 30 percent was the right number for everything. Well, it is -- what I tip the Doocys when I have them walk on my back. Anyway, these questions weren't that tough. How do people this bad at math even survive?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JOE DEVITO, COMEDIAN: Wow, that is a lot of candies.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, how many things are in there? Like, Four? Five?

DEVITO: Are you serious?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No more than seven?

DEVITO: Seven?

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hey, could you pass to me the box of tissues?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What do you mean like pick it up? What do you want me to run a forklift? That's probably 90 pounds.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: I'll do it.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, check out (INAUDIBLE) over here.

All right, Ted, I'll see you later. I'm crossing the street right here.

DEVITO: Watch out for the traffic.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: What are you talking about? Those cars are like 500 yards away. I got plenty of time.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: RIP. Kat, this is true in so many places. Like I was thinking there are fewer tennis players that merit in interest in Wimbledon.

TIMPF: I don't know anything about tennis.

GUTFELD: See what I mean?

TIMPF: Yes.

GUTFELD: You prove my point. Do you notice this trend?

TIMPF: Yes, I guess. I was shocked by some of the numbers though. I don't, I don't think it's only three percent of the population is gay? I think it is 30 percent.

GUTFELD: Really? Of your friends.

TIMPF: Like, 99 percent of my friends are gay.

GUTFELD: Yes

TIMPF: So, like adjusting for my sample size, 30 percent definitely gay. So, they were wrong on that one.

GUTFELD: Dana, this, I could tell you love this story.

PERINO: I did love this story.

GUTFELD: We're talking, we're talking about it. But it does have consequences. I mean, people have a really distorted sense of like police brutality. Because remember, Democrats thought that it was like the, the number of unarmed black men killed by police numbered in the thousands? Crazy.

PERINO: Yes. And then it turns out that it was something like in the less than 100.

GUTFELD: Well, it's like actually a two-dozen, including white and blacks, white, white victims and black victims.

PERINO: Yes. And so, it's and I was reading and thinking, well, this is how I explained to my husband, when I buy all these things that I think are on a discount. I'm like, oh, it wasn't a 40 percent discount? It was a four percent discount. Oh, I didn't realize that. This is a big problem, though, for people who are trying to estimate like, what we should do in terms of inflation, right? What is the policy prescription? Like, their answer is buy an electric vehicle but that costs $80,000.

GUTFELD: Yes, yes.

PERINO: That doesn't make any sense.

GUTFELD: Yes, kill your pet. Charlie, could this be what is keeping propping up identity politics?

HURT: Absolutely.

GUTFELD: Like, if you, if you had the real information on identity politics would collapse.

HURT: Well, and I think that's the whole propaganda game that's going on. And, and yes, it is true Americans are probably pretty bad at math, I speak for myself. I cannot balance checkbook. But the good, the silver lining here is Americans are also really bad at demographics. That's not the way they look at one another.

GUTFELD: Yes.

HURT: You look at one another as just being sort of, we're in the same, doing the same thing. We have same interest. We don't look at people based on demographics. The only people who do are the media and they can't stop. But I have to make one thing that makes me wonder about some of the numbers here. They said that 88 percent of Americans actually own a car, but only 83 percent have a driver's license. So, there are five percent of people out there who own a car but don't have a driver's license.

GUTFELD: I was that person for a while, you know, going rouge.

HURT: I could understand if the other way around. I don't understand --

GUTFELD: Well, maybe they were sleeping in their car, Charlie.

HURT: That makes no sense.

FAILLA: Maybe they own a car, but they drive it like Beto, and they lost their license. You know what I'm saying, like one of those deals?

GUTFELD: But then, why are they being honest about it? You would think that --

PERINO: Why do think everyone lies?

FAILLA: We really going down a tangent.

GUTFELD: I know, I know -- I want to, I want to ask you, does your wife overestimate how much you don't look homeless?

FAILLA: I don't know. I don't ever think I look homeless. I think, I think I do, I look like I'm running like a Liberace tribute band over here, where I'd have at least a tour bus to sleep in. I don't think homeless is fair. I think the reason the estimates are high is the end result of identity politics, and that everybody wants to act like they're living an inclusive life.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: I'm surrounded by gay people and black people and transgender people everywhere I go.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: And you want to sound virtuous to the guy --

GUTFELD: It's the same person.

FAILLA: Of course, it is. Of course, it is. But it is amazing to think that transgender people are only point 0.6 percent of the population and somehow have 33 percent of the gold medals in swimming, that's impressive.

GUTFELD: That was a great joke. I can't use that tomorrow.

FAILLA: Yes, sure, you can.

GUTFELD: Yes, maybe people will forget. Some groups, or you know, yes, and some in this day and age, we're just playing, we're playing this up. I actually think that, that number might be lower, but you'll never be able to know because now you have gender fluidity, fluid --

FAILLA: Yes.

GUTFELD: It's influencing that. So, it's like the authentically trans, the person who goes through the surgery and whatnot, is probably smaller.

FAILLA: It's inflated.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Don't forget, there's currency in claiming this type of status.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: No matter what it is, if you claim to be you know, a member of some type of minority or marginalized community, that's now like, give me something. You know what I mean? So, I'm with you. The only one I don't buy is four percent bisexuality, that would not fly in my search history.

GUTFELD: Up next, when it comes to Kanye, the Grammys say no way.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: The grant is banned, Yeezy, because his antics made them queasy. Though, Kanye West was nominated for a grant five Grammy's this year. He was banned from performing at the ceremony due to concerning online behavior. I guess you should just stay home and watch it on TV, instantly doubling its viewership because there isn't much.

West, West had his Instagram account suspended for 24 hours after he directed a racial slur at Trevor Noah, who'd been criticizing West's treatment of ex-wife Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson. Apparently, West has been harassing them on social media. Davidson is best known for being the new boyfriend of Kim, and the former boyfriend of everyone else. You can say Kanye is just being a pain in the butt. But with a butt as big as Kim's, that could be fatal.

Jimmy How do you think Kanye has been handling this?

FAILLA: Actually, considering, OK. This is the part I think it's so funny. First of all, Kanye has always been nuts. Let's not act like he has been the picture of discipline in award shows.

GUTFELD: Right, right.

FAILLA: He once interrupted Taylor Swift on stage and stole it which is why I think that unpredictable quality is why they should invite him --

GUTFELD: And make --

FAILLA: Just to see how it's going to go down and make it fun. But this idea that saying a couple of mouthy things on social media is like out of line for a guy whose wife is sleeping with a new guy.

GUTFELD: Yes.

FAILLA: Like show me the guy that's going to be OK about that, like a cheese basket.

GUTFELD: And flaunting it all over the place.

FAILLA: Yes.

GUTFELD: Charlie, I thought this whole thing was fake, with the whole Pete Davidson -- it felt just so theatrical, but maybe it's not. Maybe they are truly in love. He got her branded on his chest.

HURT: Yes, I'm not actually a rap expert, but I have to say I do like Kanye. But, but yet, but exactly. I mean, have they've been paying attention. You don't have to pay attention that closely to realize this is not anything new. But then, and then this whole idea that he used a racial slur against Trevor Noah, which you go on the Internet, Internet will not tell you what he said.

GUTFELD: Right.

HURT: So, I don't know what he said. But my goodness, I mean, have you ever listened to his music? You got no -- she isn't no gold digger. That's not, that's not without racial slurs. So, this idea that suddenly he's using a racial slur, therefore he should be kicked out of the Grammy's is kind of insane.

GUTFELD: Well, you know, I'm against all racial slurs, unlike Charlie. I wanted to, just wanted to ruin you.

HURT: I know -- I mean, but I mean, if the Internet is going to spend this much time talking about it, they ever tell you what he said? I don't know what he said.

GUTFELD: Yes, is true. Coming from a racist, Dana.

PERINO: Well, also like you said it like that, she was like flaunting it all over the place, like but isn't that the whole point?

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Like, I mean, this has been going on for a couple of decades, right. And they just, just made a ton of money. And I also kind of, I find it hard to believe that this that Kim's new relationship with Pete Davidson is real, I don't understand it. I don't understand the appeal. I, I can understand why Kanye is probably very frustrated. But also, I would say this, if I had to go to a big award show and I was like worried about what I was going to wear and it was on a Sunday night and they called and said you're no longer invited, I would secretly be like really happy.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true.

PERINO: That I could stay home.

GUTFELD: That's true.

HURT: But aren't they only famous because one of them made a sex tape, which one was it?

PERINO: Well, let's ask Jimmy's laptop.

FAILLA: Great job. Great job. That was fantastic but it is so funny they're like oh we're scared like there isn't there has a security guard detail of 12 people.

GUTFELD: Yes, exactly.

FAILLA: Like, what's going on this award show?

TIMPF: Yes.

PERINO: They want the attention.

TIMPF: Yes. I mean, he's like, Kanye is -- he's got to, he's got to stop, right? I will say it. He's got to stop.

GUTFELD: That's a hot take.

TIMPF: He does. He does. Someone has to say like, he's really got to leave, just leave her alone. It's like, at a point, it's creepy. But then, like, Ana Navarro, on "The View" said that he shouldn't be allowed to perform at the Grammys because he's not entitled to put "put people's lives in danger."

FAILLA: Oh, shut up.

TIMPF: Man, what a brain you'd have to have to think that was what was going to happen.

GUTFELD: Well, you do -- you are aware that they pass the brain around at "The View." When somebody's talking instantly put it on.

PERINO: Like a hot potato.

FAILLA: Oh, sorry. I was going to say, if only "The View" was this concerned with keeping Andrew Cuomo away from our Grammy's?

GUTFELD: Nicely done. All right. There you go.

FAILLA: Sorry.

GUTFELD: Don't go away. We'll be right back. Except for him.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: All right. We are out of time. Thanks to Dana Perino, Jimmy Failla, Charlie Hurt, Kat Timpf. "FOX NEWS @ NIGHT" with evil Shannon Bream is next. I'm Greg Gutfeld and I love you, America.

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